#he says button like he doesnt know what that is and is reading it for the first time

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

Machine, hit the slay button!

Audio source

[chosove]

*tw!!! daddy kink!!! + a lotttt of size kink stuff!!! fem bodied reader*

I know he gets such a like…almost ‘selfish lover’ rep but in my humble daddy issue biased opinion, toji would 100% talk you through it like…

Everyone already finds him so intimidating, if not from his stature and general appearance, its his gruff voice and combative personality. He doesnt even mean to do it, he just always has that trademark scowl on his face that makes people afraid to say excuse me in grocery stores :(

Not you though, you still served him with your bright smile as he checked out of the store. You asked how he was and giggled at his flirty response of ‘why, ya wanna make my day better?’. I mean…other than his kids he never had people willingly make small talk with him, let alone laugh at his old man jokes.

Godddd he just gets so flustered when you look at him with your big doe eyes and say have a fantastic day :(

Thats why when he sees you on the dating app megumi downloaded for him (against his will), he feels his heart skip a beat. I just know he’s all nervous, thinking how dirty he is as a self proclaimed ‘old man’ finding such a pretty young thing attractive- i mean you could literally be his daughter. All these worried thoughts flitted through his head while he tried to decide, not realizing his thumb was just a littttttlllleeeee too close to the screen as he accidentally matched with you.

Oh.

Oh.

I mean it was an accident for him, but was it an accident for you? It couldnt be if you were texting him already, a message reading “hey there stranger :)” popping up on his phone.

And when you liked his simple response of “Hello.”, responding with “anything i can do to make your night better, toji?”, that couldnt just be a typo or misclick, right?

You made him feel like a teenager again, the butterflies he felt only becoming more intense when you asked him to come over n’ tell you in person :( he nearly jumped out of his skin trying to get ready, hands fumbling with that pinstripe button-up he’d been saving for something special (gumi’s grad or….i guess his first date in forever). It was only at times like this he wished he had someone to call to help him chill out.

Maybe after tonight that’d be you though? He hoped so at least, and even when you pulled him into your apartment, pushing him on the couch while he stuttered about getting to know each other first, he knew you were the girl for him.

It did take a while for him to actually get up to your speed- he didnt wanna break you or anything. You were just so, so desperate for him, tugging at his shirt while you grinded your clothed cunt against his beefy thighs, filthy words coming out of your mouth only making it harder for toji to take it slow with you.

“God you’re so big toji, feel like even jus’ your fingers can split me in half.”

“Couldn’t stop thinking about you, knew you’d treat me better than all the guys my age. Ya gonna fuck me right toji? Please?”

“C’mon toji…know you wanna breed me, bet it’ll only take one time for me to give you a baby. D’you want that daddy?”

It was no later you said that word that he was picking you up, throwing you onto the tiny mattress your studio apartment held. Yeah, he definitely wasnt getting out of this alive- but neither were you judging by the way his big hands began to unbuckle his belt, unzipping the pants you so graciously left a giant wet stain on, the outline of his cock in his boxers making your mouth water.

“See what ya do to me, pretty?” His deep voice spoke, one hand giving his throbbing dick a few much-needed strokes while he stared down at you like a wolf. “Nothin’ to say anymore, hm? C’mon, i liked hearing it all.”

He hadnt even pressed himself against you before you let out a whine, his hands resting themselves on your sides already being enough to make your hips jump. If it weren’t for the fact he was now intent on hearing more of those pretty sounds from you, he’d have let out a whine himself from how soft your skin felt against his worked hands. And when he slowly pulled your panties down your thighs, clenching his jaw at the sight of strands of wetness sticking to your pussy, he nearly came in his pants.

“Poor girl, bet this sweet pussy hasnt been treated right in forever hm?” The question nearly brought tears to your eyes, both from the truth of it and from the fact he began to thumb at your glistening cunt, the rough pad of his finger being the exact pressure you needed on your pulsing bundle of nerves. “T-toji i might cum alr-”you began, but you werent able to get your sentence out before his hand came down to slap against your cunt.

“What happened to my good girl from earlier? Y’know not to call me toji, little bird. Whats my name?” He whispered against the shell of your ear, fingers covered in your wetness now coming to play with your hard nipples.

Clinging to his shaggy hair like it was your lifeline, you nearly cried out as you came undone for him, the desperate moan of ‘thank you daddy’ falling from your lips. He smiled as you writhed below him, your body convulsing while he let you ride what would be the first of many orgasms that night.

[python333]

im in love with your content omg😭 your writing style is just chefs kiss

can i req a reader with the tf141 being on a mission and hearing an enemy say something in british slang and they just go "what did they just say.." in comms? like a reader who doesnt know anything about slang like not even that bars in the uk r called pubs (if im not wrong) and just nods whenever a private talks in slang, and their brain is just trying to figure out what they just said?

its just a really silly plot with a silly reader :3

pardon? — python333

— — — —

synopsis just as the req says, you know nothing about british slang and on a mission the enemy speaks british and you dont know what theyre saying :3

relationships platonic!taskforce 141 & reader.

characters cap. price, soap, ghost, gaz.

word count 2.6k

warnings 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].

note HI YES I LOVE THIS REQ!! i take every opportunity i can to make fun of british people so this is right up my alley!! tysm for the compliments hjfhdjskf recently ive been getting more praise on my works and it makes me so happy i love yall. again, sorry if this sounds a little rushed or if any parts are incoherent, i wrote this at 12/1am and im both more productive and write more nonsense at this time + this one is wayyyy shorter than ones i usually do because i didnt know what else to write for it so i apologize for that as well! this is pure fluff and humor (i like to think im funny) so enjoy!!

“—eah, and now we have to camp out here ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do it ‘imself, so I feel like we should have a chat with the others, see if they’re willing to leg it out of here with us,” An enemy soldier suggests to you, his British accent thick enough that you think it might be cockney.

You cross your arms to hide your shaking hands and nod in agreement, as if you understood anything he said, and put on the same shitty British accent you’d been using for the past five minutes you’d been talking to this guy.

“Yeah, yeah, totally,” You agree, clearing your throat before asking, “You know where the others are stationed?”

“You don’t?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you suspiciously.

“Mate, all the orders I was given went in one ear and out the other,” You sigh, holding back a wince at your desperate attempt to sound more natural using British slang, “I just know I’ve got to stand out here and shoot the enemy.”

The enemy eyes you suspiciously and he takes a moment to try and read your face before he says, “I don’t think I’ve seen you before, actually. Which would be weird, if we’re in the same platoon, don’t you—” 

You sigh and quickly pull out the small switchblade you had hanging on your belt, stabbing the enemy in the neck before he can say anything else and grabbing him before he can drop to the ground, putting a hand behind his back as you half lead half drag him into a dark alleyway beside the building he was stationed outside of. 

You quickly set him down into a sitting position and take your knife out of his throat, tucking the blade back into the handle before adjusting it to latch onto your belt once again, letting out a frustrated huff as you stare at the now dead man in front of you. 

“[c/n], how copy?” Price’s voice crackles through on your ear piece. 

You push in the PTT button and lower your voice, “Copy, I fucked up a little bit. One of the guys was onto me.”

“You were there for five bloody minutes,” Gaz’s voice rings through, his tone both disbelieving and amused, “How’d he already catch onto you?” 

“The British are smarter than I thought,” You breathe out, standing up and looking around for a ladder to climb to get to higher ground before anyone spots you. You go farther into the alley and find an old, rusty ladder with rungs that look like they’d snap if someone sneezed on them too hard—perfect for climbing up.

You wrinkle your nose as your hand makes contact with one of the rungs but don’t say anything otherwise, instead wordlessly hauling yourself up onto the ladder. 

“Reminder that there’s three British people with you, currently,” Ghost’s deadpan tone crackles, his breathing heavy, as you can tell he’s whispering into his mic, “All of which are very smart.”

“I caught you reading the instructions on a box of tea bags the other day, don’t fuckin’ talk right now,” You grumble, slowly climbing up the ladder, hating the creaking noises it makes as you do. It sounds like it’s going to snap at any minute, and you try to go up as fast as you can, but one wrong move and you’ll easily slip, some of the rust that flakes off of the ladder enough to make you slip up. 

“They were circles,” Ghost says, exasperated, “I didn’t know if that made a difference.” 

“I thought British people were supposed to know everything about tea,” You roll your eyes, putting your hand on the next rusty rung up on the ladder. 

“Yeah, L.t,” Soap agrees with you teasingly, the wind hitting his mic, making it obvious that he’s running, “Thought ye Brits were s’possed to ken everything ‘bout tea.” 

You laugh quietly to yourself as you finally make it to the top of the building, the top just high enough for you to look at the few soldiers below and hear a majority of their conversations without them noticing you.

You get to the edge of the rooftop and pull the sniper rifle you’d been carrying around off of your back, glad to finally be back in your element rather than trying to get in undercover, and set it up. 

You pull the stand out and set it on the edge of the roof, and look through the scope of the rifle, lining it up so that it’s aiming directly at one of the soldier’s heads, specifically the one that was standing directly out of the entrance you originally were meant to try and get into—but doing this didn’t change much.

Regardless of if you got in or not, he would’ve died, and the others would’ve gotten in too. You getting in first was just meant to make it more efficient.

You press down on the PTT button on your earpiece as you look through the scope of your sniper rifle, keeping the aim on the soldier in front of the entrance, “The guy in front of the entrance is just standing still, so whenever you need me to, I can shoot ‘im down.” 

“I don’t think we need to get in just yet,” Price hums, “But maybe in a minute.” “M’kay,” You hum, taking your eye away from the scope, instead just looking over at the enemy soldiers. You lay on your stomach, leaning your head down a bit to try and listen in on the enemy’s conversations easier, trying your best not to make yourself too obvious.

The conversations were pretty boring and almost the same for every soldier you’d eavesdropped on, for the most part. Enemy soldiers joking around, talking about what they’ll do once they’re on leave—like they would be able to do that after you completed your assignment—and just some general team camaraderie.

The lackluster subjects of their conversations weren’t bad at all, no, in fact, you could care less what they talk about. 

It was their stupid accents you hated. 

Are you surrounded by British people everyday? Yes. Does that stop you from hating on the British everyday? No. Okay, maybe the accents aren’t stupid, but God, they had the thickest cockney accents you’d heard in your entire life, and it was making your eavesdropping so much harder, and had almost been the reason you were given away earlier.

They used slang words that you’re certain you’ve never heard before in your life, and used analogies that didn’t even make sense—you heard one of them use the words, verbatim, ‘Don’t get stroppy’. Stroppy? Stroppy? 

You narrow your eyes down at the soldiers below you, listening to a conversation they’d just started up. 

“—eah, ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do anything about it, so now we have to camp out here and wait for somethin’ to happen,” One of the soldiers scoffs, “I’m telling you, man, if I see that skull-masked bloke runnin’ ‘round out here, I’m legging it from ‘im immediately.” 

You draw your eyebrows together in confusion, but you stay silent for now. Isn’t that exactly what the other soldier said? Are they like a hive mind or something?

“You’re legging it?” The other soldier asked, sounding almost incredulous, “What happened to you chattin’ to some of the others about your loyalty and what not?” “All that’s irrelevant when the fuckin’ grim reaper rolls around and starts murkin’ people like he’s been doing for the entirety we’ve been here, mate,” The first soldier laughs, “You think I wanna be here when he does that?” 

“Don’t act like a prat about it, man—fuckin’ talking’ like you can outrun him.” “A prat? I’m not—” You tune out the rest of their argument and instead try and figure out what they were saying.

A prat? Legging it? Can’t be arsed? What the fuck? You push the PTT button on your earpiece and as quietly as you can, you ask, “I need some help. Serious help. Life or death situation.” Immediately, Price’s voice rings through, “What? What is it? What happened?” “The soldiers are British and I can’t tell what they’re saying,” You answer, ignoring Price’s relieved sigh on his end, “I need help.” “Jesus, fuck, don’t scare me like that,” Price sighs, taking a few breaths before continuing, “Alright, what do you need help with?” 

“Figuring out what they’re saying.” This time, you hear Gaz’s voice crackle through, “Well, you’ve got three British people here—tell us what he’s saying.” 

“One of the guys was talking about ‘legging it’ if he saw Ghost heading towards him, and talked about Ghost ‘murking’ people, and then the other guy he was talking to told him he was being a ‘prat’ about it and he got all offended,” You eloquently say into the earpiece, watching as the argument gets a little more heated. You can hear an amused huff from Ghost on his end and a scoff from Soap in return. 

“They’re just saying they’re gonna run away if they see Ghost because he’s been killing a lot of their soldiers, and the other guy said he was being a prat, which I guess is like…” Gaz pauses to think of how to explain the slang term before settling on, “Someone who’s kind of full of themselves, I guess. Or ignorant. Either or.” 

“They couldn’t just say that?” You muse quietly, still staring down at the enemy soldiers. 

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that,” Price’s voice cuts through, “Go ahead and shoot the guy down. I’m ready to head in.”

“Got it,” You hum, quickly putting your eye back up to your scope and readjusting it a bit before quietly warning, “Shooting him now.” 

You pull the trigger and the enemy goes down immediately, and through your scope you can see the small twitching of his body as the other soldier starts to freak out.

You quickly aim the gun at his still-alive friend and shoot him down as well, silently congratulating yourself on your good aim and continuing to look through the scope, watching as Price runs in with Gaz and a few other soldiers. 

They struggle with the door for a moment and you sigh before pressing in the PTT button on your earpiece and quietly saying, “Price, Gaz, move away from the door for a sec.”

Wordlessly, they do as they’re told, and you take the opportunity to line up the gun’s aim with the complex electronic panel on the outside of the door and pull the trigger, shooting the most crucial part of the panel, causing it’s functions to disrupt and as a result, the doors open. 

“Thanks for that,” Gaz breathes out as Price kicks open the door, his voice cut off a bit at the end as he takes his hand off the PTT button too quickly in order to follow after Price. 

“Uh huh. Of course,” You say offhandedly, taking your eye away from the scope of your sniper rifle and listening to the loud sirens go off in the facility the others break into, and push yourself up so that you can sit up straight to properly watch it. You grunt as you sit up, stretching your arms out for a moment before letting them fall into your lap. 

“Are they in?” Soap asks, curious, his voice a little strained and breathy. There’s no loud gusts of wind coming through his mic anymore, and you look around for a moment, before your eyes catch on to him climbing up a ladder to get to the rooftop adjacent to yours.

Your lips twitch into a smile at the sight of him completely clueless to your presence and you press your PTT button to talk. 

“Yeah, they’re in,” You say, watching as he finally gets to the rooftop, “Didn’t you hear the sirens?” 

You can see Soap’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion for a moment, and he looks around for a moment before finally seeing you on the rooftop directly next to his, and he looks surprised for a moment before a grin splits across his face. You see him press the PTT button on his mic as well. 

“I did, yeah, just wanted tae be sure,” He says into his mic, looking right at you as he does, “It’s a surprise seeing you here.” 

“Imagine how I feel,” You muse, almost to yourself, before looking away from Soap and speaking up, “Ghost, you don’t wanna join us on the rooftops?” 

“Absolutely not,” He replies almost immediately, making you huff out a small laugh and Soap’s grin grow, “I’m perfectly fine on the ground.” 

“Where are you?” You ask, scanning the area around you for Ghost, “I feel like I haven’t seen you this whole time.” 

“I’m just behind the facility,” Ghost hums, voice still a low whisper, “I’m gonna be heading in once Gaz and Price make it to the second floor to clean up the first, in case there’s anyone left.” 

“You’ve been behind the facility this whole time?” Soap’s voice cuts through, surprised by the fact. 

“Mhm,” Ghost hums. 

“It’s a bit boring back there, innit?” Gaz’s voice crackles through, his voice a little breathy, “You can sweep the first floor, by the way. Should be nobody left, though. Pretty sure all the soldiers were just faffing around, not doing much.” 

“Fucking faffing around?” You ask incredulously to yourself, though apparently your voice is loud enough to make Soap chuckle. 

As if he can read your mind, Price’s voice comes through, “Faffing around is just doing nothing or doing nothing particularly productive, [c/n].” 

You sigh and push your PTT button this time, talking into your mic, “You couldn’t just say that, Gaz? You had to say something silly like faffing around?” 

“It’s not silly,” Gaz says, his frown audible, “They were faffing around.” 

“Jesus, fuck,” You breathe out, laughing lightly, “It’s totally silly.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yeah it is.”

“No it’s—” 

“I just want one day where you two don’t start up stupid arguments like this,” Price’s tired sigh comes through, “Just one day, I beg of you both.” 

“Aw, Captain, we were just faffing around,” You whine playfully, the misuse of the slang making Soap cover his mouth with his hand to muffle his laughter and you hear Ghost groan into his mic. 

“That is absolutely not how you use that,” Gaz says, though you can hear some laughter in his voice—from your very non-British accent saying British phrases, you presume, a small grin gracing your lips at the thought. 

“It sounded natural to me,” You lie straight through your teeth, shrugging even though only Soap can see you. 

“You’re insufferable,” Gaz groans, making you laugh quietly, “Never use British slang again, please.” 

“What if I get a British accent? Will that fix it?”

“Nothing can fix what you’ve said today, [c/n].”

“Well that’s dramatic,” You scoff, “I’ll learn British just for you guys.” 

“Holy shit, please stop talking,” Price’s exasperated voice interrupts the both of you, “You’re both insufferable. Drop it.” 

“… I don’t think I will,” You say defiantly, making all three British people in the same voice channel as you groan in unison, the sound sounding like some sort of middle school choir trying to sing in harmony, “I’ll use Duolingo or something to learn it.” 

“British isn’t a language you learn, you muppet,” Price grumbles, making you snort. 

“Muppet?” 

“It’s someone who’s dumb and clueless and can’t take a hint, like you,” Ghost defines, “And Soap, most of the time.” 

“Daen’t go draggin’ mae into this,” Soap’s voice quickly cuts through, “I haven’t said onything.” 

“Uh, yes you absolutely did, earlier, remember?” Gaz argues, ignoring Price’s protests for him to stop arguing, “About Ghost being stupid with the tea thing?” 

“Oh, I’ll have you all know—” 

“Ghost, don’t start—” 

You listen as the once casual, teasing conversation turns into an argument and chuckle quietly to yourself, knowing that they’d be arguing about this until you all finished your assignment.

[cloudysarts]

Hi there!!

I want to say that your “Mabel’s muse” Au concept has absolutely called my attention, Bill mentions multiple times (Dipper and Mabel’s guide to mystery and fun and TBOB) how he likes Mabel’s personality and wanted her to be his ally…sooo the idea of an alternative time where he decided to approach her and where she trusts him and considers him as her friend is absolutely full of potential

I just think about how many stuff would change and how bill would be a little more genuine with her as he for once isn’t pretending to be an all-wise being and having to constantly rise the ego of Genius minds…instead he just has to party with a teenager whose idea of fun is quite similar to his…he doesn’t have to be the “supreme being” for once just a silly fella in order to earn Mabel’s trust

Also about how some episodes would have to take a completely different route:

maybe “Mindscapers” wouldn’t even take place…because I doubt that Mabel would trust a Bill if he went inside Stan’s head

Bill possessing her during the “sock opera”episode instead of dipper

Also don’t get me started on “the last Mabelcorn” episode. All the angst and horror that Ford would feel when he finds out about the whole friendship with bill situation reflecting himself on Mabel and probably Dipper being the one who search for the unicorn hair while ford tries to convince her that Bill isn’t trustworthy

I apologize for my rant but I seriously love your idea and sorry if it’s a bit confusing English isn’t my first language

I hope you have a nice day and thank you for reading this silly thing!!

first of all, your english is great!! second of all, i am SO sorry it took me so long to respond to this ask, it just made me so happy that i wanted to take my time to craft a response!!!!!! :DDDD (context: for people who don't know what my 'mabels muse' au is, you can check it out over here!)

you are practically SPOT ON with my ideas for this au!!!!!! but i'm gonna briefly run through all the things you brought up!!

first of all, yes, absolutely!!!! for bill, partner-ing up with mabel was a very nice change of pace. he likes stroking the ego's of genius', just for his own amusement, but he doesnt get the THRILL of just getting to PLAY very often!! he's a very childish being, at the end of the day. he enables mabel's selfishness, while getting to indulge his own, silly passions right alongside her!! and obviously, mabel LOVES being enabled <3 i imagine most of the dreams he gives her would make any normal persons eyes bleed

as for your episode ideas, you're mostly right!!! :) mindscaperers does, in fact, NOT happen in this au. in my head, i imagine gideon trying to summon him, only for an 'I.O.U' to appear where bill should be. he's busy hanging out with his favorite pre-teen!!! so gideon skips straight to his backup plan, aka, gideon rises ^^

for sock opera, i'm still on the fence a little bit. one of the reasons bill is hanging out with her at all in this au is because, unlike in the regular timeline, this bill actively wants stanford to be brought home. the reason mabel is important to him, is because he can see timelines where she presses the button in not what he seems, and keeps him from returning. in his mind, he has the greatest shot of success if mabel doesn't press it. in this au, she doesnt even hesitate to trust stan, because she has another, trustworthy voice in her head, yelling DON'T PRESS THE BUTTON. its 2v1! ANYWAY, the reason any of that matters for sock opera, is because he wouldnt have any need to possess anyone, because he has no interest in smashing the laptop! BUT.....i can see him doing it anyway. i figure, most likely, he gets mabel to (willingly) let him use her body, so that she can work on her sock opera while her body sleeps. i just imagine a bill-possessed mabel up at 3 am, covered in hot glue and googly eyes as he tries to work it out shjdkfhjsdkf. but......honestly, he probably destroys the laptop in the process :) just to fuck with dipper <3 not that dipper ever finds out its her. he has no idea that mabel was ever possessed/has no reason to suspect her, because at this point, he still doesnt think bill is real. that is....until the last mabelcorn.

IN the last mabelcorn, mabel reveals to ford that she does recognize bill, and that he lives in her brain! she says it really excitedly, at the table, while dipper kind of just rolls his eyes about it. to her, its vindicating, because it's the first time anyone has ever acknowledged bills existence. but to ford, its HORRIFYING, because he knows it isn't just a coincidence. he knows he has to do something, but he doesn't know what, right away. this is where our ideas differ a little bit, because i think that mabel still WOULD be the one retrieving the unicorn hair! ford just didnt tell her what the hair was for. ford sends her off, because he wants to brainstorm a way to get him out of her head, preferably without hurting her/her memories. he also plans to bill-proof dippers mind in the process, just in case mabel is too far gone already. the events here happen basically the same (with minor tweaks), but instead of dipper suspecting that ford is evil/bill-possessed, this is where he finally learns that bill is real at all. ford tells him about his backstory, and explains the REAL reason he sent mabel out to get the unicorn hair, etc etc. he loves mabel a lot, but hes not sure how to go about dealing with this situation yet. its not HER fault she trusted bill, but he knew that if he just tries to tell her hes evil, she wont believe him. shes known 'her muse' longer, and as of right now, he's never lead her wrong. just like what happened to him in the past...

i wonder how mabel would feel if she only heard the end of that conversation...

(more of this au here and here!)

[mattsturnswife]

𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓!

"matt babe" i say turning to look at my boyfriend as he picks up my suitcase . he turns to face me with a toothy grin, i proudly smile back at him before interrupting our moment. "we gotta check out of the hotel now, come on lets go to the elevator." I grab matts free hand and switch my purse to the other hand.

as the two of us walk down the hallway and into the elevator i feel matt grip my hand tighter. once we step inside theres a loud crack, but we have no choice to ignore it since the stairs werent an option. i quickly press the button. "its okay baby were gonna be okay" i kiss his shoulder trying to comfort him. "i know i just hate these stupid elevators." he says softly looking down at me. "its okay this ones gonna be safe." i tip toe and ruffle his hair, he gives me an annoyed look in response.

"only a few floors left" i say looking back to matt. "thank god, this has to be one of the slowest elevators ive ever been on." i laugh at his reluctancy to like the elevator and just grab his hand in response.

suddenly at floor 4 the elevator stops, i smile and move a little to the side assuming someone was about to step in. after about thirty seconds the door never opens. "uhh what the fuck" i say confused. "y'n." matt calls for my attention, "i think the elevators stuck.." i say reaching my hand out for matts shoulder. "y/n what do we do-" matt says panickedly.

"hey hey its gonna be okay." i quickly start to comfort him. "but" he starts to drop my bags and picks at his nails. "matt hey its gonna be okay." i grab his hand and let him play with my rings as i use my other finger to press the big red button reading 'EMERGENCY'

"im gonna facetime nick to help calm you down okay? there should be people coming" i feel his fidgeting with my hand pick up the pace. "okay thank you i love you." i hug him briefly before picking up my phone and calling nick, but he doesnt pick up. "fuck its okay matt" i say trying to make the situation better. i kiss his temples and lean into his body as he plays with my hair.

after a few minutes of just holding eachother silently breathing we feel the elevator stark to shake lightly and matt grips me tighter. "woah its okay! i bet that means they are trying to open it." i say kissing his jaw from above me. suddenly the elevator shakes alot and matt's breathing starts to pick up. "matty its gonna be totally fine" i pray briefly in hopes that i was right.

"HELLO?" i hear a mans voice yell from the other side of the elevator. "hello?!" matt yells back sounding a little timid. "yay matt someones here!" "hello! can you open the door?" i shout back to the man outside. "yes ma'am give us about 30 minutes can you hold off till then?" he asks while the elevator starks shaking a bit more. "Yes thank you!!" i shout back and grab matts hand and drag us both to the floor.

"just thirty minutes thats not that bad?" i ask matt looking into his eyes. "yeah i guess" he rests his head against the wall with a bang "isnt there a gym here?" i ask trying to cheer the pouty boy up. "oh my god your so right there is, matt says pulling out his phone to play pokemon go. "lets fight it together yeah?" i ask while copying matts actions. "sure babe" he gives me a toothy grin and kisses my cheek while we both wait out the current situation.

© mattsturnswife - reblogs are always appreciated

p.s

ve had this in my drafts for a month and ive never been stuck in an elevator so idk how accurate this is also i got a lil lazy at the end oops! - cora

[mxqdii]

hey! i love love your work, and i was wondering if i could request a chris sturniolo x fem!reader?

maybe reader is also a well known influencer, or an actress or something of the sort, and there’s rumours about her and chris being together that they haven’t really confirmed?

but they are dating and she’s on live one day and he calls her like an intimate pet name, or just overall says something that shows they are in fact together and like the comments on the live just go crazy and stuff and shes like telling chris she’s on live or whatver

im so sorry if this doesnt make sense 🙏🙏

stop bc i requested pretty much this same thing to another author (on wattpad) a few months back, so when i read this request it was such an "i made it" moment (i love u sm, you're just like me fr fr)

baby - c.s

pairings: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: chris accidentally calls reader 'baby' while she's on live, revealing to the whole world that they're dating/

warning(s): fluff, reader calling chris bro 😔

not proofread

i'm sitting on the couch, watching tv, bored out of my mind.

then an idea hits me, i could go on live!

i used to go live a lot with the triplets, but only on their account, so it would be fun to go live on mine.

i open instagram and click the live button, watching the stream fill with thousands of people

"holy shit that's a lot of people" i say with a nervous laugh

"uhh i guess i'll answer any questions anyone has! so feel free to ask anything!" i add, smiling

i read through the comments, lots of them asking where the triplets are

i can't help but notice seeing a few asking if me and chris are dating.

fortunately, those allegations are true! but we've decided to keep it quiet for, just for now.

still, there’s only so much one can hide from the public

and although me and chris haven't said anything, i think everybody knows anyway.

people can see our glances, our gestures, how close we are, it's all pretty obvious.

i answer a few questions like my favorite singer, when my next video is coming out, podcast stuff with the triplets, and just some other various topics.

suddenly i hear the door unlock, looking over at it, but not really caring.

maybe i can get whichever triplet that is to join my live.

chris walks in and i smile in his direction

"hey baby" he says and my expression immediately drops.

i look at him, PALE.

(absolutely terrified to look back at the screen)

"what?" he says, walking closer, i turn my head to the screen, anticipating my death.

i let out a sigh of relief seeing the comments

@ssturniolo BABY???

@strniolo AWWWWWWWW

@lvrsparadise GOODBYE I LOVE THEM.

@ellieswifie this is such a chris and y/n mistake 😭

@lavieenvalentina i'm so happy for them i'll cry

(shoutout to everyone tagged ILY<;3)

as i'm reading the comments, i smile, chris hovering over me reading them too

suddenly he hugs me from behind, squeezing me tight

"chris!" i say laughing

"let me go bro" i whine

"you did not just call me bro" he says, immediately stopping

his death glare makes me laugh

"consider it payback for you calling me baby on live" i say laughing

(him clearly not amused)

"okay fine fine im sorry, guys it's all okay he's not my bro please let me redeem myself" i say joking on the last part

me and chris stay on live for another 30 minutes, answering questions about how we got together and just stuff about our relationship.

"bye guys we love you!!" i say, ending the live

i close out of insta, putting my phone down with an exhausted sigh

"so?" i mumble, anticipating chris's response

"so? so nothing" he say's with a smile and i face palm

"chris! we just told like, the world that we're dating" i laugh

"yeah, and i'm happy about it, like honestly i can't think of a better way it could've happened" he says

we both look at eachother and burst out laughing

"we're a little interesting thats for sure" i say

"i can't believe we tell the world we're dating ON ACCIDENT and then you start calling me bro" chris says, making me laugh harder

"i was nervous! im sorry!" i yell with my hands up in defense

"yeah yeah, it's fine" he says, wrapping his arms around me

"bro" he adds on

"chris i swear to god-"

TAGLIST:

@strniolo @stargirlv0id @annaisabookworm

[kitschyfemme]

OKAY REMADE RAINFOREST FLOODS INTRO POST. YOU WANT TO LEARN SO BAD

rainforest floods is an ocverse made by me and @sevenmoreminutes. its about a waterpark in new mexico and all the horrible people and circumstances it has born witness to. oooo you want to click the read more button so bad PLEASE IM BEGGING

i'll try to keep this as brief as i can so as not to waste your valuable time but just know theres so much i wont be covering here.

rainforest floods is the name of a waterpark that was established in 1971, but dont let that fool you! theres been shit going on for sooo many years beforehand. meet these freaks

^these are the founders of rainforest floods! i dont know how exactly to explain it. patrick and joanna are married. patrick and phillip have had an affair going on for over ten years. which happens to be about as long as patrick and joanna have been married. how strange. anyway

IMPORTANT: for some fucking reason patrick sets a curse on the park that makes it unable to close. KEEP THIS IN MIND FOR LATER BECAUSE IT IMPACTS A LOOOT.

patrick has a favorite little guinea pig among his employees whom he has been trying to teach how to run the park because one day he wont be able to run it anymore. and eventually when 1976 rolls around she gets the chance to do so!

SUUUUUUUUUUE you love her. she takes over the park in 1976 and manages it until 1990. shes a little bit my favorite. she actually does a much better job of managing the park!

but things cant be great forever. in the year 1986 something a little bit crazy happens. one of her employees, bruce krelborn (remember him), is a lifeguard at rff during the summer. just before closing on august 7th, a young woman (remember her too) comes to the park to go on one of the waterslides. but there arent any rafts!!!! oh no!!!! so bruce goes to ask sue about getting more rafts but sues like Um its fine.that doesnt matter.

so then the woman goes down the slide and she gets flung off and dies because she didnt have a raft. and then sues like OKAY.WELL YOU HAVE TO COVER THIS UP NOW. BURY HER RIIIGHT HERE. so he does. and the death is still covered up to this day. surely this will have no long term consequences.

(also semi important to note: sue had a weird favoritism thing with bruce in a similar way that patrick had a weird favoritism thing with her. #cycles)

in 1990 sue decides shes done with this shit and tries to burn the park down and get out of dodge. but unfortunately THE CURSE prevents the park from actually being destroyed. so it looks completely burned from the outside but on the inside its pretty much fine. awesome!

in 2004 two shitheads decide to start the park up again. THEY DONT LOOK LIKE THIS YET I JUST DONT WANT TO PUT IN THEIR 30S IMAGE

"hey bruce krelborn?? that name sounds awfully familiar" YES that is because just a few paragraphs ago he was the lifeguard that had to cover up that poor womans death! he's back now! and also hes like mean and jaded or whatever. the faggot on the right also worked at rainforest floods in the 80s but he wasnt involved in that at all and he is completely oblivious to the fact the coverup is going on despite the fact that one of his employees is the ghost of the woman that died.

also bruce and andy have horrible awful toxic yaoi together and theyre also not dating or anything. what do you get when you combine "insane need for control" (bruce) and "insane need for validation" (andy). and dont say macdennis because thats different. barely.

WAIT WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT THE GHOST??

THIS IS KELSEY shes so awesome oh my god. she cant leave rainforest floods its part of ghost logic. trust me when i say she would leave if she was able to. her and bruce have crazy insane dynamic. when bruce first started reopening rff kelsey didnt recognize him. but he recognized her but didnt tell her he did. so they were actually friends for a little bit before kelsey found out it was the same guy. and now shes mad at him.

THE THING IS kelsey could probably find it in her heart to forgive him. but the thing thats keeping her a ghost is the unfinished business that came from her death being covered up. and shes so scared of actually dying that she cant let go because what if thats the thing keeping her around. LOL.

-> LEARN MORE ABOUT HER HERE. PLEASE READ THSI <-

ok theres like two other employees they dont matter as much

yay jeff and vincent. jeff is normal vincent is Weird. theyre kinda like pim and charlie smiling friends if charlie thought pim was stupid and annoying and pim was a little conspiracy freak. theyre fun i like them. theyre the only ones we're not THAT worried about doing themes and motifs with and even then.

onto side characters now.

^this is kelseys love interest aww. she doesnt have a name dont call her anytihng call her [REDACTED] or unnamed girl. its spoilers. dont worry about it. shes crazyyyy love her. its fun bc she dresses 80s inspired and kelsey died in the 80s so its like wooaahh

and thats [REDACTED]'s brother kyle who is always getting tormented by the staff at rff. he is cursed so that no one outside of his family will ever remember him so its not like they have a vendetta against him theyre all just freaks.

GINGERRRRR she's jeff's girlfriend and shes awesome. her and jeff do bits together theyre funny silly. theyre also kinda high school bullies that never got the chance to bully people in high school so theyre just kind of mean. but at least they dont have septic tank yaoi unlike SOME people

IS THAT IT THAT MIGHT BE IT. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS PLEAPLEASPELAEPLALSPELAS PLEASE GO TO @rainforestfloods ITS OUR COLLABORATIVE TUMBLR BLOG WHERE WE TALK ABOUT THEM AND WE WILL BE ABSOLUTELY JAZZED TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE ABOUT THEM. PLEASE.

okay bye thats it i hope im not forgetting anything. ooooh you wanna go to waterpark soooo baaaadd

[thornswoggled]

yori is fumiki and heres why: my manifesto

or: wait, we werent all on the same page about this?

i should have written this when i first read chapter 98, but im only getting around to it now. this is less me trying to convince you, the reader, and more hoarding all my collected thoughts on why yori is absolutely fumiki, if its a red herring its a silly one, and if he isnt or if its left ambiguous forever i will eat crow. here we go:

before i start let me say most of my evidence is the way yamazaki frames him visually rather than solid "proof." comics are an artform, theres a reason things get framed the way they do, and her artistic choices in ch 98 (i feel) are meant to serve as a big blinking neon light that says "you should be feeling this way about xyz right now"

iic, there were rumblings of "the young auditor" being fumiki as far back as his introduction in ch 51 due to to his unique ability:

which is essentially a refined version of fumikis innate ability to keep fae away. we know yori is part of a "family business," and it seems appropriate that with the proper training, he would be able to freeze fae in their tracks rather than simply ward them off

unfortunately this is where "evidence" ends and "vibes" begin

chapter 51 didnt get adapted into what was otherwise a pretty faithful adaptation in season 2, and i understand why - theres a lot going on, and this chapter is fairly out of left field. but theres one other quip that got left out of season 2:

this is a one-off thought that wouldnt have been difficult to include in the anime. imo, i believe this line from ch 62 didnt get animated because we hadnt met fumiki yet like we did in the manga. now, onto more recent chapters... (under a read more because this is going to get pretty long)

chise and yoris first meeting is framed in a very purposeful way. in chapter 98, elias is preoccupied with ousting all the outsiders so that he and chise can be alone, stuck on the idea that "christmas is for family only:"

and three pages later, who do we meet?

im really struck by the way chise and yori are drawn together here. personally, i dont read this as "chise is meeting a new unimportant side character," this is "the strings of fate have pulled us miraculously back together again"

waiter! waiter! can i get an order of drifting sakura petals and sparkles with this panel? am i waxing poetic here or do you see it? the way theres no background drawn here, no other characters, even in later pages when we know elias is standing right behind chise, he doesnt get included in frame so that its just the two of them:

while im at it, can we appreciate how theyre wearing the same outfit? black pants and a hip-length dark coat/sweater with oversized pockets, a collar, and six left-sided buttons. yoris dark gloves also evoke chises cursed arm here but i dont want to risk looking like a maniac any more than i already do. i mean... dude, look at them, theyre matching

speaking of matching, lets pop back to 51 for a sec

both yori and chise have canine familiars! actually, it looks like yori might have multiple - look at all those pokeballs i mean bamboo tubes in his coat. if my memory serves, we didnt know yori was japanese at this point, but everyone assumed so because of the appearance of this familiar... which was another log on the "this might be fumiki" fire

fun fact: this little dude is almost certainly a kuda-kitsune, which were said to be kept in tubes and summoned by a soothsayer, who could use it to perform curses, or tell the past and future

and the drama with which we find out his "name":

"i bet you were expecting me to say fumiki, huh. good luck im not giving you that this early you have to work for it." as far as aliases go, "ri" could be derived from "hatori," but neither of the kanji in "fumiki" can be read as "yo," so its probably just random

after yori leaves, we get another repetition of "christmas is for family," which at this point feels like yamazaki is leading us to water and dunking our head in it:

i think its awfully convenient that ruth was absent for chises exchange with yori. do you think he would have been able to smell that theyre related? or whiffed the kuda-kitsune in his coat?

right after this, too, we get this line from elias which i have been thinking about a lot:

theres a few different ways this could be read, so im not married to any one interpretation, but it could be foreshadowing "if chise decides to pursue a relationship with her estranged family, what will i do then?" as gabriella would say, "i hate to be a third wheel"

given what we have seen of yoris aloof personality, i have to imagine there will be drama if/when the reveal is made. sadly i can picture him actually pushing chise away if she tries to reestablish a relationship with him

now! that is pretty much where my thoughts end, but i do want to share questions/doubts i have:

if yori read all of simons reports to determine he was an unfit observer, there is no way he doesnt know chises full name. i wonder whether he had any reaction to it? he may assume that its just a coincidence. i briefly wondered if the hatori name was an invention by yuuki, until i remembered that the family chise stays with in the OVA also has the same name. unless yuuki was adopted by another family like seth...? dont mind me, im going pepe silvia mode over here

have i mentioned i talked about yuuki before in another theory post? take it with a grain of salt, i already got proven wrong on one front now that jasper has been introduced

will yuuki be reintroduced if fumiki is? i desperately want chise to get that closure, but this scene from ch 42 has a sense of finality to it, a sort of "you will never get to resolve things with your father or see his side of things" stank:

... actually, now that ive mentioned the kuda-kitsune, can we look at this thing again?

another word for the kuda-kitsune is "izuna," which is read in modern japanese as "weasel." could the critter whos watching yuuki here come from the same place as yoris familiars? yuuki leaves his family immediately after this - getting summoned maybe?

okay, okay, let me stop myself here before i start looking like im ranting and raving. can we talk about the mail, please, mac? ive been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, ok? "pepe silvia," this name keeps coming up over and over again. every day pepe's mail is getting sent back to me. pepe silvia! pepe silvia! i look in the mail, and this whole box is pepe silvia!

if youre a fence-sitter, what are your thoughts? do you think we just dont have enough evidence yet? inquiring minds want to know

[irishmammonagenda]

PLEASE MORE MICHAEL CONTENT I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING U CRYING PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLESASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEA

-yk who 😞

i do know who😈😈‼️‼️‼️

i love writing michael sm heehee anyway thanks for the ask pooks 🫶🫶🫶

grma <3

Unsane Uncles-An Obey Me x Reader

Summary: Michael realises some shocking news, has a crisis, as per usual, chaos ensues. Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: nothing I don't think, for anyone that doesnt know, i headcannon michael as lucifers twin, this was written with my 'Death is a Debatable Thing' Au in mind, but it can be read as a stand alone <3

post dividers by @saradika-graphics

The café was quaint, quiet and out of the way. It had been ages since you'd last visited the Human Realm. The soft sounds of chatter and cutlery clinking created a calm atmosphere. Well calm for the most part.

Michael sat on the chair opposite to yours looking quite frazzled. His white button down rolled up to just above the elbows and a few of the topmost buttons undone. His long golden curls done up in a messy plait, nonconforming strands coiling around his unusually antsy face. Long dexterous fingers wrap around his coffee mug, he brings it to his lips and takes a sip before setting it down with a little too much force. You watch the scene amusedly.

“I just- I don’t know what to do!” he runs a hand through his hair, looking up at you with stressed, ruby red eyes. "I mean?- Is it too late to give my congratulations?!...Or a push present?!"

You bite your tongue to keep from laughing, the Archangel notices. "This is serious MC! I am the worst uncle ever!"

You tilt your head, "Did you not think it was strange when the brothers first fell that Satan just kind of poofed into existence?"

Michael gives a thoughtful look, before making a 'meh' face and shrugging his shoulders. "I kind of just thought Satan was a low ranking angel that fell with the actual memorable ones, and that I had just... never cared to learn his name before he fell."

"You didn't ask?" You take a sip of your warm drink, revelling in how satisfying the hot liquid felt when it hit the back of your throat and warmed you up from the inside, especially as it was fucking baltic outside.

"Yes." Michael smiles sarcastically, "Because taking a trip down to the Devildom straight after the Celestial War to ask about the demon who kept biting people and snarling would've gone great for me."

"Touché." You grin. Michael's expression falls back from sarcastic to strained, his gorgeous features bathed in stress.

"But seriously MC! I've missed out on centuries as an uncle! That's so many birthdays! Luke must think I'm a deadbeat! I already act like I'm a divorced dad with visitation rights because I can't visit very often!"

You snort. "I don't think Luke knows."

Michael sinks into his seat, "Oh thank Father."

He stays there for a moment, the soft golden glow of the café lights on his dark skin so similar to the aureate ambiance of the Celestial Realm that you almost forget that you're back in the human world. He flutters his eyes closed, a hand over his brow in what can only be described as a himbo-ified imitation of a sickly Victorian woman saying something along the lines of 'Woe is I!" after finding out poor people actually have feelings. What a fucking drama king. You hold back a snort. Michael groans before swinging back up like a jack-in-the-box, his usual cheerful yet cheeky smile on his handsome face, he joins his hands together as he rests his arms on the wooden table, as if completely oblivious to the complete 180 he had turned. "So! MC, have I ever told you about the time Lucifer ran into a glass door in the Celestial Realm?"

You shake your head, grinning mischieviously, "I don't think you have!"

Hours Later, down in the Devildom, in RAD's royal library, Satan sneezed. He paused for a moment more before folding his handkerchief up and putting it back in his pocket, making a mental note to wash it when he got back to the House of Lamentation.

He groans, arching his back and stretching his arms out in an attempt to weave out any knots in his muscles. He'd been in the library since school had ended. Still unable to shake the feeling something was going to happen, Satan got up off of his chair, packed his books away, and made the journey home.

Walking alone through the cobbled streets of the Realm was calming and peaceful. Halfway through his siúl suaimneach, he comes face to face with a gathering of the stray cats he'd normally feed.

The Avatar of Wrath coos at them, hunkering down and reaching into his bag for some of the cat treats he'd normally kept in there. "Aww..." He mutters, speaking in a baby voice to the cats, scratching an old tabby's fur. "You've gotten so big, Purrsephone!" He scritches underneath the young cats chin, smiling as she purrs and remembering fondly when the cat was just a small kitten trailing behind her mother like a second, small adorable shadow.

As he pulls out the bag of treats onehanded, the symphony of meowing reaches a polyphonic crescendo, cats and kittens of all shapes, colours and sizes scramble towards Satan with more purpose now, all meowing for food. He chuckles, indulging the felines, petting them as they nibble and chew on the kitty treats.

Unbeknownst to the Avatar of Wrath, a good quarter of a mile away from where he congregated with the cats, a certain Archangel and his accomplice stood hiding in an alleyway.

In the shadows of the alleyway, Michael was clumsily putting on his batman mask. He already had a matching batman suit and cape on, you however were much more serious, and were dressed up as Robin.

"Michael." You hiss exasperatedly. "You seriously can't think that sneaking up on the Avatar of Wrath is a good idea!"

Michael merely waved you off with one hand, his other carrying his 'surprise for his most favouritest nephew in the three realms' as he'd deemed it. "Besides MC is worst comes to worst, you can just pop out!"

You nod. "Good point. "You face breaks into a grin matching Michael's, "This is going to be fun to watch."

Michael goes to say something before you both hear footsteps, your eyes widen. "Oh shit...he's coming..."

Quickly you dart behind the dumpsters, Michael moves to the wall of the alleyway. Holding his breath as he listens to the footsteps of a certain green-eyed demon.

After having petted the cats, Satan got up and begrudgingly left them in order to continue his journey home.

Lost in his thoughts, he can't help but feel as if something is watching him, thinking its just his imagination, he walks on. Who would be stupid enough to sneak up on the Avatar of Wrath?

An idiot in a batman costume apparently.

Satan jumped as the lunatic hopped out from the alleyway, hands behind his back.

"Psst! Kid!" The stranger in the batman costume says, ruby red eyes that reminded him of Lucifer staring at him. "I have a surprise for you!"

Satan's tail whips around his legs, on the defensive. "I'm not a kid." He says coldly. "And what surprise?"

"Heeheehee." The strange man giggles, before taking his hands away from where they were behind his back and revealling a small tiny little kitten, fur as dark as night, with an emerald green bow wrapped loosely around its little neck, having been jostled, the tiny creature meows in protest, big green eyes blinking sleepily. Satan's harsh, mistrusting glare softens as he looks at the kitten, moving to take it out of the strangers hands before his eyes narrow.

"What's the catch?"

"The catch?" 'Batman' says indignantly, as if Satan had gravely offended him. "The catch? How dare you! There is no catch! Can't an uncle give his nephew a present to make up for millennia upon millennia of missed birthdays?!"

Satan blinks. "It's March. It's nowhere near my birthday. And Uncle?" Green eyes narrow again. "I don't have any uncles."

The stranger sticks his tongue out. "Blah blah blah. You are just like your father. Take the fucking cat or I'm telling everyone that you're secretly Lucifer's son."

A vein pops on Satan's head. "Excuse me?!"

The stranger chuckles nervously upon sensing Satan's wrath bubble like magma beneath the surface of his skin, ready to boil over and erupt. When Satan's eyes flashed dangerously the stranger spluttered out. "Oh shit....! Uhhh....Cat Attack!!!" That was the only warning Satan got before the tiny kitten was shoved gently but firmly into his hands, his eyes immedietely softened, the rage slowed down from a boil as he looked into the soft innocent eyes of the kittykat.

He looked up at the stranger, who in his frenzy, had lost his batman mask. Ruby red eyes and golden curls tied in french plaits and tucked into the rest of the suit greeted him. Unholy fuck. Was that Archangel Michael.

The Archangel grins at him, "Enjoy your gift! Tell Lucikins I said hi! Oh and also the cats a girl, you can name her! Come visit your favourite uncle soon! Byebye!" Michael shouts to him, before he turns around, and fucking books it, sprinting away from the Avatar of Wrath at a speed that could rival Mammon running from Lucifer.

Satan stood shellshocked by the whole ordeal having acquired a tiny kitten and an uncle who needed to be institutionalised.

He grinned down at the kitten, "I'm gonna call you Dorcha."

Judging by the small creatures tiny meow, he'd gamble that she liked that name.

A/N: im so sorry this is so short, ive been busy w irl stuff, but this was a fun ask <3

also dorcha is sort of pronounced 'door-ah-ha' but you sort of say the 'ch' with your throat, idk how to explain it, but it means 'dark' 💗💗

siúl suaimhneach (shoe-el soo-ehve-neyak, except dont pronounce the 'ch' as a 'keh' and pronounce it liek gutturally!!!) it means 'peaceful walk' but suaimhneach can also mean tranquil or quiet

[emonaculate]

Gojo and his bitchy girlfriend...

Looking at Mr. Satoru Gojo I can honestly say with confidence that he is the type of guy to have a really mean and rude... overall "bitchy" girlfriend and what's worse is he likes it.

Warnings: 18+, SMUT, Gojo is a FREAKKKKK, Language, Y/n is mean obvi, Brat-Tamer Gojo, Gojo has a very filthy vocabulary, Toxic relationship dynamic?? It works for them but unhealthy irl, Gojo's powers are practically eldritch horror level, Gojo threatens Y/n (he's bluffing but she doesnt really wanna test it), Emon gets carried away.. again, Dubcon, Gojo is scary, Sadistic!Gojo, god complex??Gojo, Y/n might be freaked out too, Masochist!Y/n, mentions of Black!reader but anyone can read, spitting, choking, spanking, crying kink??, overstimulation, head (fem receiving), Gojo possibly has no regard for the life of strangers??, unprotected sex, abuse of Gojo's powers,

Satoru Gojo has the patience of a saint, well, at least that's what everyone thinks, seeing him interact with you.

Don't get me wrong, you're a very nice woman when it comes to literally anyone else. You help elderly women cross the street, hold the door for truck drivers whose hands are full with packages to deliver. You would give your last dime to help a misplaced person on the street if they asked. So why were you so rude to your own boyfriend.

If people did not see how you treated Gojo with their own eyes; they would not believe you were even capable of being so cruel.

Itadori would never forget how fast your personality switched from the loving instructor he had grown to care deeply about to a woman that looked as if she wouldn't so much as piss to put out a flame if Gojo were lit on fire. He honestly thought you were also possessed by an ancient demonic spirit.

The biggest question is why does Gojo just take it? Why does he turn off his infinity to just be slapped by you? He's the strongest after all.. I mean, sure your technique is powerful, but it wouldn't even hold a candle to the amount of power the man possessed.

Even now, as you stand in front of him, whilst he towers over you in not height but sheer muscle, yelling about something trivial like him being late for a dinner date you planned using his card by the way. He just watches you scream in his face, jamming your manicured nail (he's pretty sure he paid for them too) into his chest.

His smile never leaves his face as passersby watch in confusion and pity. Poor him. He deserves so much better. People often think but what they don't realize is he's exactly where he wants to be. The damn man encourages it in fact.

Gojo Satoru has known who he was for as long as he could remember. Yes, he is the strongest sorcerer of the modern century, but he is also a degenerate. He was raised with no other option but to be the head of Gojo clan. A symbol of power. People feared him and what he could do. At times, he feared his damn self. How easy it could be for him to lose control and lash out, wipe out all life on Earth for no reason other than he just feels like it. People should thank you honestly.

If not for you, all that pent-up anger he has would have been unleashed long ago. Instead he get to unleash it on and in your cunt whenever you really push his buttons. Kind of like how you're doing right now.

Gojo had to admit you really were outdoing yourself right now. Screaming in a public place? Putting your hands on him? Swear at him? Every nerve in his body was twitching to activate his infinity on you. God, you were so fucked today.

You feel the energy shift in the air as the temperature fucking changes. Your posture stiffens up ever so slightly as you feel Gojo gently pull you into his chest, rubbing small circles into your back. Had you overdone it? You know he had been stressed out trying to figure out how to plead his case in keeping Yuji alive. Every minor inconvenience he experienced lately would cause a power outage within 50 miles if he so much as twitched his eye too hard. His curse energy was so high it felt like putting metal in a toaster while it was on if you so much as brushed past him and grazed his skin.

He hadn't slept or ate in days; it was very clear he was being affected when he was teaching a lesson, and he decided to write something on the board, but instead created a crater through the left side of the entire school. Thank goodness there were no casualties.

You still knew you had to do something. You had tried everything to get him to talk about how he was feeling instead of resorting to acting this way, but nothing else had worked. Sure, the sex was great, but it was very clear he was more focused on not hurting you. You knew that you had to bring out the big guns. Put on a real show.

So that brings you back to your current situation. His hands cold to the touch as he rubbed small electrifying touches into your back. Was he writing something with his touches? Oh-

Yeah you were so fucked.

Gojo pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before pulling away and smiling even wider at you. To the onlookers, he looked so sweet and understand despite having such a nasty and cruel girlfriend— but to you, who actually knew what he was capable of and how that kindness he displayed was faker than the acrylic nails on your finger—you were terrified. You had over done it by a long shot.

He remained silent as he guided the awaiting car. Your protests and pleas falling on deaf ears as he only responded with soft whispers of "I know baby, I know."

He knew exactly what you needed. You were another curse he needed to exorcise. It was the only excuse for why you would act like that in public. You did so much more than just annoy him today. Gojo was pissed. Beyond pissed actually. He had just gotten back from yet another meeting with the higher-ups and they denied his request to spare Yuji yet again. Now, he knows you couldn't have known but what perfect timing this was. He was boiling with anger and now didn't have to hold back at all. You managed to save the higher-ups from a well-deserved death yet again.

You practically vibrated in the seat of the luxurious car with fear, watching every move your boyfriend made. If it came to it, you were prepared to jump out of the car; you had never seen him this upset before, and surely it wasn't just because of your little display back at the restaurant. Even in the past, when he got upset by your rude behavior, he was never silent. He always would talk and humor your attitude before pulling you close and whispering the things he was going to do to you as soon as you two were alone. This was different.

The car came to a halt in front of Gojo's place. His private residence. Not the Gojo Clan housing but a separate place entirely. You had never been here before, usually opting to go back to your place because he preferred how much more "lived" in your place was compared to his. Gojo steps out of the car and stretches slightly before turning back to you; eyes immediately narrowing into a icy glare.

"Get out of the car." His voice was no longer that usual playful octave but deeper and cruel.

You remain seated, not in rebellion but paralyzing fear. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. This was bad. Really bad. Gojo snaps his finger in your face, electricity shooting out from his fingertips blowing out the surrounding streetlights immediately.

"If I have to repeat myself, I'll crush this fucking car. You know I can, Y/n."

You scramble, practically tripping over yourself, to get out of the car. Not for your own safety; you know Satoru well enough to be certain he'd never hurt you intentionally. The same could not be said about the innocent driver. While you were sure he was just bluffing, you did not want to test that theory with how mad he was.

As sick as it is, Gojo's eyes twinkle with delight as he watches you run to join him outside the car. Good, you understand how serious this is. His hand snakes around your waist as he leans down to press another loving kiss to your temple. He tells you to go inside and wait for him. You obey without a second thought. Gojo looks back at the car door you left ajar in your rush to exit. A scoff escapes his lips in disbelief. You can't even close the door behind you? He really needs to teach you some manners.

He tries his hardest.. really his absolute hardest to close the door as gently as possible (not wanting to scare the driver anymore than he already has) but even with just pressing one finger to the door; the materials of the door dent completely inward. If the driver is concerned he doesnt say only facing forward with both hands on the steering wheel trembling.

Gojo clicks his tongue in disapproval before muttering an apology and telling the driver to make it home safe. As if he, himself, isn't the most dangerous entity alive. The driver weakly nods and speeds off.

Gojo then turns his attention back to one of his many houses and teleports inside, finding you standing in the empty hall with tears threatening to roll down your soft cheeks. He only tilts his head and laughs mockingly.

"You crying?"

He teleports again, this time with you, to his bedroom. You hadn't even seen him touch you. He tosses you onto the bed as if you weighed nothing, and unbuttons his shirt. His eyes were crazed and wild, swirling with what could only be described as raw power.

"I haven't given you anything to cry about. But don't worry, I'm gonna."

He's on top of you before you can blink; one hand pinning both of yours to the bed. You don't know where to look, all you can do is feel the raw power radiating off him and try to control your own breathing. You know you have no reason to be afraid, but your body says otherwise. The loud RIIPPP— brings you back to the present; he tore your dress straight down the middle. You didn't even feel the tug either; it was instant.

Satoru leaves open-mouthed, wet, and passionate kisses everywhere that he sees exposed melanated skin. One of his favorite things about you is how your skin looks compared to his. He loves how rich and deeply tanned your skin is compared to his pale skin tone. He also loves how hard he has to work to make sure the bruises and marks he wants to leave show up.

You feel like you could get whiplash from the way you spin as Gojo teleports yet again and has you placed over his lap; ass up with your hands somehow tied behind your back. He's moving even faster now. Just how much did he hold back usually?

"Been a really bad girl today. So I'm not gonna hold back, mkay? Make this easier for yourself and count. If you don't I'll start over and if you fuck that up.." He pauses to think and a sinister chuckle escapes his mouth, "Just don't fuck up more than once."

You realize he left your mouth ungagged because not only does he want you to count. He wants to hear your cries and sobs. You almost forgot how much of a sadist Gojo is normally, so you can only imagine how much it's been dialed to 1000. Gojo places a kiss to your bare ass cheeks as a silent apology for what he's about to do. You brace yourself, already fighting the urge to squirm, but you still are unprepared for the impact of the hit.

The sound that leaves your mouth shocks you as the tears that were already welling in your eyes begin to pour almost immediately. You have fought special grade curses before and made it back to tell the tale but fuck— the pain you were feeling right now hurt. You grit your teeth and mutter out the number one but as soon as it leaves your lips; your poor ass is met with a black flash level of back to back hits.

Despite the warnings you know are in the back of your head, between broken sobs, you apologize and tell Gojo to stop. That you're so sorry and won't act out anymore.

Satoru raises an eyebrow; he had given you clear and concise orders, and you still defied him. Besides, you know the safeword so its not like he's a total monster and wouldn't stop if you used it. His six eyes reveal all and the arousal pooling on his lap from your aching and neglected cunt is saying otherwise but he'll humor you.

"You know the safeword. Use it."

He waits as you think it over, but then you remain silent. Gotcha. You pathetic bitch, always were into being degraded and hit. His perfect little masochist. Match made in heaven or hell; Gojo didn't give a damn. He smirks and feins concern as he grabs roughly onto your hair; pulling your head back just enough to make it uncomfortable.

"You do remember the same word right?"

"Ngh—"

A whimper escapes your mouth as your head is jerked back and forth in a demeaning motion. Not hard enough to hurt you, but enough so you feel it. You choke out the words that you do know the safeword. It seems to ignite an even bigger fire under Satoru. He leans forward and you can feel his breath tickling your neck.

"Y'know. I think you like this. You like being used like a toy. You like being fucked like a slut. You like when I treat you like some bitch I would meet at a club."

A wanton moan breaks past your lips as you shake your head. Gojo hums, letting go of your head, watching you fall abruptly back over his lap. He tells you that this is your last chance to stop being a brat and count. This time you have no warning before rapid hits blind you with hot pain. Despite that, you keep count sobbing as you fight to keep your legs from kicking.

The precision is what hurts most. He keeps hitting the same exact spots on both cheeks at a breakneck speed. By the time you say twenty you're prepared to use the safeword to get his reign of terror to stop but thanks to whatever higher being... well whatever being thats higher than Gojo— he stops to admire his work. No matter what your shade is, both of your ass cheeks are a blistering red. Arousal as dripped down your legs creating a puddle on the floor and your tears have stained your cheeks and soaked his pants leg.

"You did so well, sweets."

The nickname is back. Maybe he's calmed down enough to ease up. You cock your head slightly to look up at him and are met with a beautiful sight. His hair is frazzled and wild; the power in his eyes sparks a blue hue every couple of seconds, and his cheeks are the prettiest shade of red. He's fucking gone.

"Sator—"

You're cut off with a harsh slap to your ass again. He tells you that only good girls have the privilege of using his first name. You can only refer to him as Gojo right now. If he were still really angry with you, he'd have you refer to him as Lord Gojo.

But since he's feeling nice now; he supposes he'll let you have a reward for doing so well with your punishment. With your hands still bound he demands that you sit on his face. You know you're in no place to protest so as he moved to lay back on the bed; you do as your told and hover over his face not wanting to sit down too hard or suffocate him. You want to ease down; your ass still hurts afterall. A sudden force slams you down; Gojo's hands remained by his sides so you wonder what exactly did he do? Or the more important question is what can he do?

You have no time to think about the unknown powers that Gojo has and what it could mean for the future of sorcery as a whole, because the moment you are settled on his face, you feel his strategic tongue attacking away at your innards. You know he's using 'Six Eyes' and it's not fair. You have no defense against his attack; all you can do is moan his name like a prayer.

Satoru swears you're the best thing he's ever had the pleasure of tasting; the sounds you make is a fucking bonus. He's been with you for so long; he knows exactly what makes you tick. What your body wants— what it needs. He can work you out in less than five minutes, but where's the fun in that? Why would he give up his ambrosia? The nectar a God like him deserves to feast upon.

Your eyes roll back as you all but ride his face, chanting his name, telling him how close you are, how good he's making you feel. Then it hits you— your climax. It's intense, and your chest heaves up and down in overexertion, but he continues his onslaught. Eager like a puppy, he laps all of your fluids, a desperate moan muffled between your thighs as if he is addicted to the taste of you. You want to run but there's no where you can go especially with the way his hands dig into your plump ass dragging you back and forth over his mouth.

He finally releases whatever magical hold he has on you and lifts you off of his face with a loud pop from sucking on your clit. He teleports, and you're laid on your back with him on top of you, your essence dripping from his face and a smug grin on his face. You don't give him the chance to say something to ruin the moment by capturing his lips into a passionate kiss. It only lasts for a fleeting moment (he had a relapse in his judgment), and you're being shoved into the bed with his hand securely around your neck.

"Did I give you fucking permission to touch me?"

You open your mouth to protest and quickly shut it, feeling his grip tighten, silently daring you to say anything slick. You get a good look at Gojo and realize the only thing he has on is a gold necklace you insisted he buy to match the cross necklace you wore all the time. It dangles mockingly in your face as he leans closer to your face and tells you to open up.

By this point, you know what he wants, but every time, it is the only thing that makes you feel bashful. You slowly open your mouth, making eye contact with his blown-out, crazed sapphire eyes, and your tongue is met with a wad of his saliva. He coos in approval as you swallow on command.

"See? You can be my good girl. You know what to do."

His words were slurring together, and he knew he was losing it. His dick was throbbing with anticipation and he wasn't sure how long he'd last before the lights blew out in the room. You might not have realized, but the bed frame had already cracked, and the lights flickered in and out. He was also sure he heard more streetlights pop from outside.

"Fuck me, please."

Your voice is whiny as you rock your hips into the air, bringing the white-haired man out of his own thoughts. He pretends to consider it as if his tip isn't crying in agony with pre-cum desperate to feel your tight velvety walls clamp down around him.

"Hm.. you don't seem like you really want it. Beg."

You normally hate to ask Gojo for anything more than once. It hurts your pride, actually. Why should you have to ask when he should just give? You were the prize after all. However, today you know better; you don't know if he'd just leave you like this if you made him mad again. You needed this— need him. Want him. You're pleading before you realize the words are coming out of your mouth. Begging for him to put his dick in you and fuck you until all you can do is spasm from the weight of your orgasm— to rearrange your guts until you feel him in your stomach. To fuck you, like you know only he can.

Satoru's ears burn from your lewd vocabulary but he loves every minute of it. He loves how your tears soak your cheeks, how choked sobs escape your mouth, how you're rutting into nothing but air— he loves it all.

This is why he likes you being mean and a bitch. It gives him the opportunity to treat you like a stress toy— toy that he loves to fuck. Anytime you go too far or work his nerves just right, he can split you open like he is right now. Lifting your legs up, folding you into the meanest mating press, and pushing into you with no resistance from how soaked you are. Not stopping until he feels his tip kissing your cervix, with the lewd wet noise coming from where you two are connected intimately.

And maybe somewhere... deep. deep. deep. down he really fucking likes seeing you angry and yelling at him because mean women just turns him on. He has always liked a challenge. Why would he want a girl who never challenged him? Someone that agreed with everything he said and did; at that point he might as well date a fucking fan. Easy is boring. Nothing about Satoru is easy, so why would his relationships be? You excited him; which was damn near impossible considering he could see everything and anything all at once, all the time.

He liked the way you'd claw deep scratches into his back when he'd fuck you like this. How you'd cry about how deep he was. How no one ever made you feel this good. How you'd be a good girl from now on (he knows thats a lie). He loved you. Everything about you. Another reason he had been so mad today was not just because the higher-ups said something about the Yuji situation; they had tried to threaten him with the mere mention of something happening to you if he brought up Yuji's execution again. He would have killed everyone in the room with no regard for what happens next if not for Yaga shutting the conversation down by defending you. It only barely saved them. Barely.

"—Cum?"

You were babbling gibberish as he fucked in and out of you at a fast pace with his own moans tumbling from his lip. He hid his face into the crook of your neck, lapping at the skin before biting down. It sent you over the edge immediately, and Satoru followed shortly after.

He collapsed on top of you, panting like he had just run a marathon with no prep. His ears rang slightly as he rolled off you and let his eyes readjust to the room. He let out a cackle looking at his surroundings. The headboard was split in half. Lights completely blown out. Yeah he was real pent up.

Satoru rolled over to crack a joke to make you laugh; moments after sex were when you were the nicest. You got to be super soft, and you two were just two people dating. You weren't just dating the strongest, but the real Satoru. His gaze softened as he realized you were already knocked out. He opted to clean you up and teleport you both to your place. It was more comfortable there anyways. He nestled under the covers with your unconscious body and pressed a loving kiss to your forehead, pulling you tightly into his embrace.

So yeah, maybe you were bitchy but he wouldn't have you any other way. After all, you're the only one who can handle him.

[hijackalx]

ASTARION SFW HEADCANONS:

yall he would be so embarrassed by how vampires are portrayed in the media. like enraged 😭😭 he feels like they make him look like a joke and would refuse to watch/read anything with vampires in it bcz nobody ever gets it right. but if modern day tav DID ever get him to watch twilight with them he would be like shrinking into his shirt from secondhand embarrassment AT FIRST but i feel like he would eventually get invested LMAO like u know how dads stand in front of the tv and get stuck there bcz theyre too interested lol that kind of vibe

sooo hedonistic and materialistic like he loves all things luxurious, chocolates, expensive fabrics, comfortable furniture etc. he does NOT want to settle for anything less. but this also means he expects the same for tav 🥰 but he's kind of messy too? like it makes sense with being materialistic bcz eventually youll have lots of clutter. his tent has all kinds of unnecessary shit

hes lowkey sentimental. LOWKEY THOUGH he would never admit it. like if tav ever gave him something like idk, a necklace they found or something and said it made them think of him he'd literally keep it forever and ever. dont call him out on it tho bcz he'll get defensive af 😔 HES SUCH A BABY

tav and him will argue A LOT but thats because he purposely pushes ppls buttons. (nsfw mention) its like foreplay to him and if u read the nsfw section youll see why lol

so sooooo jealous but only if he feels like youre getting too close to someone else. like initially i dont think tav sleeping with someone else makes him jealous bcz of his backstory like he doesnt rlly view sex as something that only happens between two ppl that love each other and thats what would bother him the most. and i think hes only open sexually bcz hes conditioned himself to be that way, like maybe after a while of being with tav it really would start to bother him if they were sleeping with other ppl and he'd eventually want to be exclusive.

also he cares abt tav so much. like he pretends like he doesnt but if they freak him out enough theyll see just how much he worries abt them and wants them safe 😭❤️

love language:

giving = words of affirmation. he loves to call tav pet names and comment on how good they are at things and how good they look etc. he LOVESSS it especially if tav responds to it in any way (physically or verbally) bcz he also loves to tease lol. also dare i say physical touch? like just innocently touching tav all the time. this i feel bcz he (spoiler???) rlly enjoyed the hug during his confession scene and also wants to hold tav's hand after. (end of possible spoiler) like he'll prolly do little things like rub tav's back or caress their face randomly while theyre talking to him lol all very sensual tho hes a very sensual man

receiving = words of affirmation and physical touch lol both in the way i described before. i dont think he would like tav teasing him tho most of the time he gets genuinely pissed off 😹😹😹 hes just a lil short tempered

apparently hes 5'9 but i dont know where thats coming from lol i dont get that vibe he looks pretty lanky i would say between 5'11-6' is more realistic like lets be honest a 5'9 man lured back all those victims for cazador? be so fucking for real 😭😭 also decent muscle tone not scrawny but not SWOLE

ASTARION NSFW HEADCANONS:

lets go girls and gays 👯 for starters i dont really see him enjoying being submissive at all like u had to roll a 15 to even get the mf to say 'please'. i think this is especially because he hates having his autonomy taken away from him but he has a controlling personality in general (he was deciding ppls fates as a magistrate before cazador 🧍🏼like HELLO what the fuck was that 😹😹) . he likes to call the shots BUT i dont think hes selfish (kinda feel like hes a giver lowkey?? are we feeling the service dom allegations ??) he just withholds what tav likes until they do what he wants or theyre good for him. he always remembers to reward them tho 😇

he LOVES BRATS (hence the arguing mentioned before) !!!!!!! theyre his absolute favorite like theres something abt putting someone in their place that turns him on so much. theyre also so fun. he usually does it by being mean and degrading them tho lol. but once they submit to him hes so soo sweet. theyll also get bonus points for calling him something that implies hes above them (daddy, sir, master) but he wont make them. he prolly likes to see if he can make them do it voluntarily for an ego boost lol.

hes sadistic in the sense that he likes to “hurt” tav but not in extreme ways. he likes them too much for that. like he'll pull their hair and choke them (bite them) or something but he wont cause them horrific pain if u catch my drift. i still feel like hes into seeing them cry tho lol like if they go to him for a shoulder to cry on he'll try to act sympathetic but he'll also pop a boner HELP HES THE WORST

takes forever to cum like bro 🙄 I GOT RUG BURN ON MY PUSSY !!!! also has a very attractive pp probably 6-7 inches? like its textbook perfect. upwards curve. pink tip. shall i go on.

he wont do this to a one night stand but if he likes tav enough he'll want to mark or claim them in some way. like leaving bite marks and bruises EVERYWHERE or even cumming inside them.

also not as kinky as u would think like keep ur questionable kinks away from this man he will judge so hard. MAJOR kink shamer. in short no u cannot piss on him lmao leave peepaw alone

aftercare with him depends. at first its rlly cold and u get corny rehearsed lines and he cant wait to go sleep by himself 😭😭😭 BUT after he catches feelings hes very attentive and will help tav clean up. also will prefer to stay with them until morning.

[missmeinyourbones]

Hiiiii L!!! Congrats on ur milestone bby!! It was so hard to choose a prompt I was stuck on so many of them but I’d love to see ur take on the prompt “weird, but fucking beautiful” with Touya<333

WEIRD, BUT FUCKING BEAUTIFUL (t. todoroki)

a/n: bad communicator dabi, reader has a birthmark, descriptions of skin and scarring (???) angsty undertones but ultimately very soft (like dabi), i love u oz

L’s MIDNIGHTS EVENT!

There's a lot that Dabi can't say.

He thinks his lack of verbal charisma was wired into his brain and decided by the stars above from the very moment he was born into this world.

It's not for a lack of feeling, he likes to justify. In his head, Dabi has said what he would deem to be Shakespearean things about how much he loves you—but when it comes time to turn those thoughts into syllables from his lips, they never sound nearly as nice.

Something Dabi is good at, he likes to think, is admiring you. It comes natrually, he doesnt need to think about it.

He loves learning about your body, finding out new things about your skin and shape and self. Enjoys learning how you like to be touched, how you like to be loved without the words he can't really say. He thinks that must be how people in love feel, a bit foolish but willing to sit in silence just to catch a glimpse of something worth while.

Having crawled out of bed and whined about your soreness from last night, you search the room for your discarded jeans. And Dabi does what he does best and watches you.

He appreciates how your skin stretches and bounces when you bend down to grab your pants. How it pudges by your hips and tummy when you shimmy into your jeans and fasten your zipper. He likes how your arms flex and arch as you button your bra around your torso—and he loves how your tiny little birthmark on your back contorts with the normalcy of it all.

It's moments like these, horribly mundane and, for a lack of a better word, boring, that make Dabi realize just how lost in you he actually is. The way you exist, ridiculously regular and undeniably human, makes him want to cry, sometimes. He doesn't think you realize how special that is, to be normal.

Your irritated tone interrupts (what you don't know to be) his sweet introspection.

"Would you stop that?"

You see the smallest twinge of a smile from the corner of his mouth when he plays along.

"Stop what?"

"Looking at me like that," he watches you shrink beneath his heavy gaze.

"Like what?"

You raise your eyebrows at him, in a look that reads nothing but annoyed, and he allows himself to huff out a sound of amusement at how easily aggravated you get sometimes.

"Oh come on, don't be pissy," he teases, but you choose to ignore his taunt and continue getting dressed.

He continues to watch you twist into your shirt, and he's grateful it's sleeveless as it leaves the pretty little imprint beneath your shoulder within his sight. He watches you catch his eye a few times, sees how you grow more irritated with each and every flicker of his stare on your skin.

When you (not so) gently scoot past him to collect your phone from the nightstand, he's quick to wrap his fingers around your wrist and guide you closer to him.

With a scowl on your face, you let him. His hand finds your chin, turning you upward to look at him, pout and all.

"Hey," he whispers with a bit of an edge, one he doesn't mean to have but has accepted as a part of him. When you flicker your eyes over him, he softens his bite a bit, "Talk."

After a sigh or two, your response comes shy, flushed.

"I don't like when you stare at me like that," you whisper against his palm and he can feel the heat of your cheeks flooding with embarrassment.

"Feels like you're making fun of me or something."

"Making fun of you?" his face frowns in genuine confusion. "The fuck are you talking about?"

Not sure if he's fucking with you or not, you take a beat to read his expression. He's serious, for once—you can tell there's no ill will in his furrowed brows and slightly concerned eyes.

Eventually, you deflate and state the obvious, "You're looking at my birthmark."

…Yeah?

"And?" he decides to say instead.

"And I hate it," your voice becomes a bit more strained, "so stop looking at it."

Genuinely confused at the sudden tension between you two, Dabi shrugs and loosens his grip on your jaw, leaving his hand gently ghosting your skin instead of holding you in place.

He sounds a bit critical when he scoffs, "What's there to hate? It's a birthmark."

"It's gross and weirdly shaped and ugly."

And he can't but wince at the pure irony of your words. Because you're always the first person to kiss his scars, trace their growing and scaling patches, and remind him that they're beautiful because they're his.

And here you are, loathing something as measly as a barely noticeable birthmark for the sole reason that it's yours.

He wants to tell you what you tell him, that it's beautiful because it's yours. That he wants to trace it with his tongue and see its outline when he closes his eyes.

But Dabi isn't that poetic, so he settles for shrugging and using his free hand to reach out and touch it.

As his calloused thumb skims the mark, he hums to himself in thought.

"Was thinking about how it's kinda shaped like a mushroom."

He smiles a bit when your eyes roll at his statement. Your skin heats up again when you weakly remind him that, "It's weird."

"Yeah," he merely agrees with a soft nod, "but it doesn't make me want you any less."

Gently, he takes the pad of his thumb and lovingly swipes it across your bottom lip, caressing the skin and attempting to let his touch say what his words can't.

And you know, he knows you know. Because even though Dabi isn't great with words and can't say what he means, what he feels, that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. He feels it more deeply than anyone you've ever known.

In the softness of the moment, you cock your head to the side and gently bite down on the length of this thumb. It's unexpected but doesn't hurt, and Dabi knows you well enough to know what it says. Thank you. I love you.

He nearly blushes at the intimacy, mumbling out a sarcastic, "Fuckin' ow."

"Don't be a baby," you choose to gently kiss the spot you sunk your teeth into, "that didn't hurt."

It didn't, he thinks. I liked it.

Again, his tongue betrays him, "You're so weird."

Allowing yourself to lean into his touch, your voice taunts him a bit. "But that doesn't make you want me any less, does it?"

Dabi chooses the easy way out and simply kisses you, and through this tongue gently prodding at your bottom lip, you know his answer.

No, it doesn't.

[hurthermore]

Haaiii i wanted to come here to express how much i love A Misconduct of Love, bbygrl had me reading until 2am when i had work at 10 today 😭😭😭 i work at a library and im pretty much in the computer lab the entire day (which is exactly where i want to be because i have sweet F-A to do in here, so you're fic has taken me🩷🩷🩷) literally sitting at my little desk, kicking my feet and twirling my hair reading Alastor fawn over Reader even if his intentions are slightly ill-intended AKSHSODJWI only slightly, but I support Alastor's wrongs 🩷🩷🩷 i dont know if you listen to Will Wood at all, but I was listening to his song Vampire Reference in A Minor Key, all the while conducting my own little delusion of your Alastor having this push-pull relationship with Reader. Where its already established how crazy they are for each other, but Reader has yet to leave her vile husband (its the roaring 20's, so it's not like she's really in a place to divorce him anyway, unforch, but that does make their affair all the more enticing) (also im totally and entirely disregarding NY in this scenario btw, lemme be delusional xoxo) and I can see Reader like. Drugging her husband every night to make him drowsy and crash before he can force her into anything. Then she sneaks off into the night where she finds herself at Alastor's doorstep, and he welcomes her with open arms. Being the gentleman he is, he'll encourage her to share her feelings, how her day has been, what that disgusting husband of hers has been up to and more importantly, did he hurt her today? Is she okay? If shes harmed, he'll do his best to take care of her, console her before leading her into a soft and slow, passionate kiss. One that Reader's been desperately craving and she reaches out to hold his face. He's pulling her in and leaning her back into the couch until he's hovering over her. They're groping each other and Reader, desperate to be loved in a way thats meaningful, reaches for Alastor's collar first. Her fingers are clumsy but determined as shes releasing the buttons on his waistcoat. This certainly isnt the first time this has happened, but Alastor remains pleasantly surprised everytime she initiates first, but that doesnt mean he'll giving her the satisfaction of pleasuring him first. No matter what, its always his utmost duty to treat her until shes had her fill - until shes begging for him to finally be inside her, and god knows he could never deny her. With Alastor, she wants it all. She wants his everything and anything he is willing to provide her. Dare she say, she wouldnt even mind if she ended up pregnant with Alastor's child (i have a breeding kink IRL, and I strongly believe, after falling into bed with Alastor so many times, she'd develop her own breeding kink with him as well) 🩷 they'd become addicted to each other, and it'd be even sexier if she did end up pregnant by Alastor, falsely allowing her husband to believe its his child until both Reader and Alastor reel up and incenerate his ass together 🩷 (burn his ass alive in that horrible, awful house shes been forced to live in for the last year. And listen tearfully as Alastor begs her, genuinely and tearfully begs her to come live with him. Be his wife and let him love her the way she deserves to be loved. And they can be happy together, they can build a beautiful life together with their little one. He genuinely cannot live another day without her, and she feels the same🩷)

.....sorry for writing essentially my own fanfic of *your* fanfic in your inbox, you can delete this if you want!! You have me romanticising at my job today, trust that I will be thinking about Alastor and Reader for the rest of my afternoon xoxoxo ilu 🩷✨️

AHHH TYSM FOR ENJOYING MISCONDUCT!! I also LOVE this so much, unfortunately it’s not where I plan to take misconduct sorry.

But don’t apologise for writing this! I loved it and I kinda wished more people would write things like this for misconduct it makes me so happy sksks

Ty for taking your time to not only read misconduct but write all of this! I’m working hard to try to finish the next chapter!! 👉👈

[healmyhrt]

heyy if ur taking requests could u maybe do a fic where nicks out filming and the reader, his bf is at home and someone says something online (doesnt matter what) and the reader has a panic attack and like calls nick and he rushes over and comforts the reader??

⌗ posted, n. sturniolo

nick x male!reader

summary: you see a comment online saying that you are using nick for his fame, and try to clap back at the hater, causing a bit of anxiety in you.

disclaimers!: established relationship, kissing, fluff, use of y/n, short

a/n: submit more ideas for nick fanfics bc i love feeding my male readers lol | also, im basing the readers panic attack based off of how mine are just because i get them as well! everyone’s are different, so just a heads up!

as i patiently waited for nick to get back from filming, i scrolled on twitter. most of my feed was melanie martinez since she was my favorite artist, or tweets about my boyfriend, nicolas.

i had been scrolling for about five minutes now, when i scrolled back up to a tweet that caught my eye.

“nick’s bf is clearly using him for clout 💀 like cmon. he just wants money, i mean that shit is so obvious”

i was in shock. i scrolled down to the replies, and they all agreed. there was one that said,

“no he’s not. look at the photos of them, they are genuinely happy! nick tries to keep his relationship off of the internet but you guys can’t let him have shit.”

well, at least someone was right.

i clicked the reply button, and started typing out why what they were saying was not true. i sighed, and quickly hit the backspace button until it was all gone.

i set my phone down slowly as i felt my breathing start to grow faster. the breaths were rapid and shuddering, and it felt as if my heart was in my stomach.

my entire body felt shaky, and i couldn’t catch my breath. i reached for my phone, moving slowly.

“hey siri, call nick.” i spoke to the device.

the phone started ringing, and i felt a relief fall over me as he picked up. “hey, we’re headed back. whats wro—”

he stopped. i could hear him bring the phone closer to his ear. “y/n, are you okay?” i squeezed my eyes shut, and tried to stop the tears from falling.

“its…its happening a—again.” i spoke through breaths.

“we’ll be there so soon, okay? just try to control your breathing, okay? i love you, baby, be there soon.”

i sighed again through the breaths, and heard nick say, “matt, step on it!” before the call disconnected.

minutes had gone by, and i heard the front door open. footsteps sprinted up the steps, and nicks bedroom door opened quickly.

he appeared, and ran over to the bed, seating himself next to me. nick immediately put his hand over mine, interlocking our fingers, and planting a kiss on my forehead.

“are you okay?”

my breathing had neutralized, but i still felt a little out of it. i nodded, and he shut his eyes with a sigh of relief.

“we’ll leave you to it.” matt says from the doorway. he pulls chris’s arm, and shuts the door.

nick kicks off his shoes, and gets under the blanket next to me, resting his head on my shoulder. “what happened?”

i bite my bottom lip, and grab my phone, turning it on, and showing him the tweet. he reads it and sighs, looking up at me.

“we both know this isn’t true. i love you, so much, and you love me too. im so sorry you’re getting involved in this.”

i hug him, and he presses his lips against mine.

a kiss from nick always helps, but expecting this situation. i loved nick, and i always have, even before they started going viral. i would never do such a thing to him, and he knows that.

nick pulls away, and rests his forehead against mine. he grabs our interlocked hands, and plants a kiss on them.

“rule one, never read the comments.” he chuckles.

i smile, and turn away, biting my inner cheek. nick pulls out his phone, and leans in closer to me. i look at him confused.

“say cheese!” he smiles into the camera, and i quickly change my expression to a small smile. he opens instagram, and clicks on the photo.

“nick, what are you doing?” i question. he starts typing, and reading aloud at the same time.

“with my loving, caring, handsome, amazing, and awesome boyfriend. i love you forever and ever.”

i blush, and nick looks up at me and smiles.

“posted.”

[toxicanonymity]

Brothel - Dicks

The brothel, aka real housecreeps, is a meta reality show about the Joels and other blorbos. Normally everything is smooth sailing, but we mostly air the drama.

Collect calls SPOILERS

brothel master list

Oh no, a producer leaked a copy of the dick HCs and raider Joel just sent me a dick pic with a ruler for scale, claiming I shorted him. I stared at it for a good 60 seconds, then left him on read. Now someone's knocking at my bedroom door. I ignore it and respond to the pic instead. "Sorry 😬"

Raider, muffled outside my door: Think ya might need a better look. (I don't answer) Can I at least talk to ya?

I put on my robe, begrudgingly let him in, and try not to look at the bulge in his tactical jeggings.

Raider: Production told me to take it up with you.

Me: Tell me you didn't send pictures to production. (Raider is silent.) That's sexual harassment. God damnit, in the middle of your PR tour?

Raider hangs his head and seems sorry until he unzips his tactical jeggings and that's the only reason he was looking down. I'm tempted to make him jack off just because, but I shake my head no.

Raider: Be a good girl for me and it'll be over quick.

Me: are you regressing back to March over this? Don't talk to me like a reader, and don't come in here taking your dick out.

Raider nods solemnly, and I sheepishly add under my breath, "unless I tell you to." The toilet flushes and I nervously look toward the bathroom.

Trouble walks out, fully dressed, buttoning his shirt.

Trouble, to Raider: Didn't I tell you to leave this shit alone, man?

Raider: Pool house, huh? You live in the pool house?

Raider sticks his head into the bathroom and sees there's a big, lavish bedroom connected on the other side and the bed is made. Trouble mouths to me, 'want him to leave?' and I shrug like Idk what to do.

Raider: Can you give us a minute, man?

Trouble: I think you should leave, Raid. I get you're upset but don't bust up in here at 6 in the morning.

Me: Neither of you are leaving.

I put Trouble in the cuck chair, Raider sits on the bed, and I sit down at the vanity to finish talking to him. His pants are still open but I'm not looking.

Me (attempting to be comforting) Hey, anything more than 7" is a waste anyway.

Trouble (7") nods.

Raider: this ain't about sweet pea.

Trouble: that's your issue, man.

Me, to Raider: You're the biggest one either way, why're you pitching a fit over less than a centimeter?

Raider and Trouble look at each other. Trouble shakes his head at Raider like, don't say it.

Raider: We know about him.

Oh, shit. Trouble sighs. I play stupid.

Me: you know about who?

Raider: Jojo.

Me: He doesnt have an HC.

Raider: He has a bulge.

Me: I haven't even seen his dick.

Raider: You've seen his dick print.

Me: How do you--

Raider: All I'm askin' for is accuracy, that's it. Ill do ya a dick print if ya want.

Me: Lemme talk to my dick consultant (@jazziepascal ).

Raider: What'd I do? I used to be your emotional support Joel. Your mental health Joel.

I realize maybe he could've helped me through this month if I spent more time with him.

Me: You still are, c'mere.

I open my arms for a hug. We embrace, but his dick is still hard so it's awkward. After the hug, Trouble is making a face like he wouldnt mind being cucked, but I clear my throat , adjust my robe, and dismiss both of them.

-----------------

Later that day, the men gather in the kitchen. They're huddled around the table and you can't see Night Walks, but they're all talking to him. You can see balled up pieces of paper on the floor and and on the counter there's an open ream of printer paper and an open tub of vasoline.

Thighs Out: I think you've gotta really slap it down.

(loud smack)

Thighs Out: There ya go. Your turn, slasher.

[ghostherlig]

i am very slow with writing atm with being sick and also my wrists are starting to hurt more now that it's getting colder- but here's some silly goofy random headcanons while im recovering!! (for johnny, kenshi, raiden, and kung lao) under the cut bc this really ran away from me- (collected over the course of this entire day as things popped into my brain, i apologize for the mass of words you're about to read :'))

johnny can play piano!! he has a grand piano that he really loves and he plays anything from classical to ost's to his own little tunes whenever he thinks them up- he has a recorder attached to it so he can remember them or maybe post his own song one day

(based off the previous hc) if/when kenshi is over/moves in he'll play at night and let kenshi listen in- but randomly johnny will transition what he's playing into the jaws or michael meyers theme and that's kenshi's cue to start running- because now the house is in hide and seek mode, and as soon as johnny stops playing, he'll be searching

kenshi used to play the violin growing up, but he dropped it once he was old enough and competent enough to commit himself to the yakuza- he can still remember some of the songs he used to love to play. he hums them from time to time and has been caught doing the motions of playing the violin before

kenshi loves animals but has an extra soft spot for cats and bunnies especially- he's a cat magnet in places where strays are common, they always flock to him (he for sure keeps catnip in his pocket when he can)

johnny loves his action and hero films but kenshi enjoys romcoms and horror- romcoms for the stories and drama, and horror films because the sound design usually slaps- he also can tell you what fruit or vegetable was absolutely destroyed based on the sounds alone

lao and raiden are way too good at Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes- raiden is on the manual while lao is on the bomb and they can crack the normal mode in like 45 minutes (they're a little slower when they swap places but they can still do it impressively fast (fastest speedrun time is sub 30mins)

johnny knows how to play mahjong after taking a role and having to play on-screen for five minutes- he wanted it to look authentic and thought "there's no better way than to actually play"- raiden and lao found out and now they're all trying to teach kenshi with specially made tiles with braille in the corners

kenshi is ridiculously good at poker- he brought a deck of cards with braille stamped on them and him and johnny played strip poker for a night- needless to say kenshi was smirking to himself as he switched his button up for johnny's

johnny can do pitch and diction perfect impressions of people he's heard talk for long periods of time- you can bet that a lot of his free time at wu shi was spent scaring his fellow champions by talking to them in liu kang's voice from behind a wall-

(based off the last hc) johnny only does it around people he knows well or as a party trick with different characters from pop culture- most often his power is used for evil though

raiden isn't a morning person and actually is super groggy in the mornings- the first thing he does on early days is take a cold shower to wake himself up

(based off the last hc) lao is a morning person and is usually the one to wake up raiden by ripping his blankets off of him- he's lucky he has survived this long, but he tells everyone that if looks could kill, raiden would have killed him long before he made it to wu shi

we all know kung lao eats for a family of five, but that man also naps like a divorced dad after an all you can eat buffet- he is OUT after he's done absolutely fucking up like five full plates of food

raiden really likes boba!! kenshi took him to get some after an errand run and he fell in love with the taro flavor- he also really enjoys winter melon and the regular thai tea

johnny always gets his boba with coffee- he doesnt really like tea flavors and no matter how many sips of kenshi's tea he has, he will always prefer his coffee

kenshi bought johnny a really nice espresso machine that he uses every morning- johnny didnt buy himself one before that bc he never thought he would enjoy making coffee at home and it was easier to just stop by the local cafe since they always had his order ready early- but he finds it really calming and really nice to slow his mornings down and make a latte before leaving for work

johnny, to return the gesture, bought kenshi a really nice kitchen knife since he knows the man really likes to cook- it sees a lot of use as it's a santoku that he basically uses like a chef's knife (it's his sharpest and most well treated kitchen tool, right next to his 8 inch cast iron)

kung lao owns maybe three articles of clothing with sleeves- all of them are coats for when it rains- oh and one hoodie that he stole from raiden that somehow survived when he went into his wardrobe and cut and hemmed all of the sleeves

when kenshi visits, johnny makes him coffee in the morning too but since kenshi doesnt always like the bitter coffee flavor he'll add some fun home made syrups- he has plain vanilla, but also has seasonal flavors like pumpkin spice, snickerdoodle, sugar cookie, white mocha, peppermint, etc.

kenshi LOVES mint chocolate flavored things- he especially loves the kitkat flavor and the pocky flavor, as well as ice cream- johnny CANNOT stand it, he's never liked mint outside of gum and even then he prefers cinnamon or clove gum (the first time kenshi kissed him he was confused bc he tasted like spices)

johnny keeps a jar of butterscotch candies on his desk for when he needs to brainstorm ideas- he finds he thinks better when his mouth is occupied (oral fixation haver)

(based off the previous hc) kenshi bought him some violet (the flower) flavored candy after he found out johnny always kept a stash- he also will refill the giant glass jar with butterscotch candies when he knows johnny is busy and will forget

(also based off the candy hc) lao and raiden also buy him hard candies- they get him ginger and lemon ones that johnny falls in love with immediately- he has two jars on his desk now, one for butterscotch and one for ginger

raiden really likes sketching and coloring- lao bought him one of those adult coloring books with mandalas and really intricate shapes and raiden finished all of it in like two weeks- he used to sketch in his free time and has an entire sketchbook dedicated to drawings of lao and his features (a lot of his arms, hands, eyes, and smile) it's hidden under his mattress

kung lao shaves his own undercut when it gets too long- normally cant let it grow out for longer than two or three weeks. sometimes, raiden will offer to do it for him so they can spend a bit of time together and just talk and be close <3

johnny definitely really enjoys washing kenshi's hair- johnny has a bit of a curl to some of his hair but he never uses the products he's supposed to or the methods he's supposed to when it dries- so it's pretty straight, but kenshi's is pin straight and doesnt tangle the way his does sometimes, so he really loves running his hands through it and has even convinced kenshi a few times to sit so johnny could put coconut oil in it for him

johnny loves coconut flavored things and purposefully buys ice cream bars that have coconut cream based ice cream- kenshi was unaware of this and was offered one and said yes thinking that it was vanilla- kenshi does not like coconut, so it was a very sudden and unpleasant surprise

kenshi cuts fruits as his way of showing love very often- he washes and cuts fruits for himself when he's stressed but preps it for others out of love and will often take apple slices, peeled oranges, cut melon (of any kind), or strawberries and grapes up to johnny's in-home office while he's working

johnny buys kenshi small gifts year round and goes crazy for the holidays and his birthday- he asked kenshi how he would feel if johnny bought him (technically them) a house back in japan- kenshi drew his line in the sand and capped johnny's gift prices at $2k per holiday/birthday (which he had broken before)

raiden keeps taxidermy bugs!! he always loved butterflies as a kid and his first framed butterfly was a gift from lao

please excuse any typos, it's later in the day now and my eyes are a little strained- i hope this was comprehensible, lol