#he knows Harry is with Ginny and he with Astoria

[oh-my-bindery]

I imagine Draco would scream sing to ‘Guilty As Sin” by Taylor Swift, whilst showering and thinking about Harry.

[wisteria-lodge]

Better Names for the HP Epilogue Kids:

thank you @arkadijxpancakes, @fire-vvhiskey, @missbrunettebarbie, @the-phoenix-heart and the ask box anons for the excellent suggestions! I liked them so much that I just wanted to group them all in one place.

HARRY / GINNY

Fredrick (if he's the first Weasley clan grandson, and George is okay with it, Ginny might insist on this one)

Sirius (I do think it makes sense to go with Sirius, but to use it as a first name. Sirius Black's name was never officially cleared, and I think Harry would be on top of that post-war. Naming his son Sirius would be a very clear, political, statement of intent.)

Alfred (Honors Fred without being on the nose, and the Al- honors Albus without out being too on the nose. Also very Weasley-coded.)

Ariana (Honors Albus... but Harry isn't conflicted about Ariana, and it doesn't cast as huge a shadow over the kid (one step away from naming him Merlin, honestly.) Also, I think Albus would honestly be pretty uncomfortable with a child named after him, and would prefer one named after his sister)

Evan (Very classy way to name a kid after Lily Evans)

Fleamont “Monty” (Important Potter family name with a Weasley-coded nickname)

Godric (Honors Lily, James and Albus who all lived at Godric's Hollow. And of course Godric Gryffindor, because Harry and Ginny are two of the loudest Gryffindors to ever Gryffindor.

Wulfric (One of Albus' middle names, so a more subtle way to honor him. Also that "Wolf" part brings in Remus)

Ruby (Fits in well with the other Weasley names, very Gryffindory, would be an adorable way to name someone after Hagrid.)

Holly (Cute, Weasley-coded, and a botanical name like Lily while bringing in the protective elements of Harry's holly wand.)

Minerva (Harry and Ginny both have nothing but good associations, it's a good name, and "Minnie" is a cute Weasley-ish nickname. Also makes more sense than 'Luna,' which they went for in-canon.)

The Weasleys seem to possibly favor names with an Arthurian vibe (Arthur, Percy) and they are very wizardy in a way Harry might enjoy. So some options in that category:

Vivienne (magical character)

Elaine (also happens to be the "Lily Maid," so another way to get Lily in there)

Gawain (very Gryffindor kind of guy)

Guinevere (Gwennie or Jenny for short. Ginny and Jenny would be very cute)

RON / HERMIONE

Jean (Hermione's middle name, and very possibly her mom's name. It would make a lot of sense to name kids after Hermione's (muggle) parents)

Harriet (cute way of naming a kid after Harry, who is basically family to both Hermione and Ron)

Everyone seems to like the idea of Hermione and Ron going to Shakespeare for their names. 'Hermione' is a Shakespeare name, and it makes sense that she would favor a muggle writer who loves to write about magic. Some good options:

Hero (Ron would think this is cute and funny)

Rosalind

Prospero / Prosper (naming a son after the wizard character would be fun for both of them)

Miranda (the wizard's daughter)

Owen (after wizard Owen Glendower)

Viola

Lysander

Imogene

Robin (Robin Goodfellow, so fairy/magic connection)

Benedick

Perdita (Hermione's daughter in A Winter's Tale. Hermione would get a kick out of this)

Toby

Edgar

Eleanor

Sebastian

Tamora

DRACO / ASTORIA

Corvus (This is the constellation that would have been in the sky during the Battle of Hogwarts/Voldemort's death, which makes it a classy choice... but it also does show up in the Fantastic Beasts films as a super Lestrange name, and Draco would know that.)

Regulus (makes a LOT of sense to honor another Death Eater who changed sides, as well as the Black family. Underlines the importance of family tradition while also allowing Draco to telegraph exactly where his new loyalties lie.)

Berenice (also referencing a constellation above the death of Voldemort. Means 'victory bringer,' which - appropriate.)

Aquila (another astronomy name. Latin for "Eagle," which might make a nice pair with Astoria, which means "Hawk.")

Amalthea (very, very pretty and soft astronomy name.)

Sylvius/Sylvia (Latin "forest." Nice, standard pureblood name, but the meaning does have a nice overlap with Astoria's maiden name, Greengrass. Also, the 'y' and 'l' sounds makes it sound really nice with 'Malfoy.')

Draco might also want to use a botanical name, to honor Narcissa. The narcissus (daffodil) is also an early spring flower, and I think that symbolism would appeal to Draco and Astoria: publicly communicate that this is a new start for the family. In that category, I like:

Iris

Hyacinth (Draco would use this name for either a boy or girl. Also sounds similar to 'Hyperion,' Scorpius' canon middle name, so presumably Draco and/or Astoria would think it sounds nice)

Forsythia (Just a very striking flower name. Also "Sythie" as a nickname is kinda cool.)

[kathrahender]

My opinion about Harry Potter Ships (1/2)

Hinny (Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley): NO. Just NO. Please their romance was so forced and there was no chemistry between them in the movie (and I watched the movies before reading the books... so yeah, it affected my perception about them) 👎

Romione (Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger): In the books they were a better couple- but in the movie their development was almost null- so no thanks. 😬

Harmione (Harry Potter/Hermione Granger): "They're just friends". Still a better ship than Hinny/Romione tho. Their interactions were far more beautiful than any other ship involving Harry or Hermione. 🙌

Ronarry (Ron Weasley/Harry Potter): If I was Harry and I had to chose a Weasley to date with- I would choose Ron. Not saying anything else. 🧡🤎

Dron (Draco Malfoy/Ron Weasley): Enemies to lovers. Enemies to lovers. Enemies to- (Besides, their families don't like each other so they would be Romeo/Juliet coded) 💞

Drarry (Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter): I'm a fan of Slytherin/Gryffindor pairings, and a fan of rivals to lovers so- I LOVE DRARRY SO MUCH. 😍😍😍😍

Dramione (Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger): It's literally like a straight version of Drarry- SO I'M IN! 💖

Huna (Harry Potter/Luna Lovegood): I tell you, I ship them more than I ship Romione/Hinny. Although I have never read a fic of them, they had cute moments. ☺️

Linny (Ginny Weasley/Luna Lovegood): Luna is a Ravenclaw. Ginny is a Gryffindor. Ravenclaw is Blue. Gryffindor is Red. I LOVE RED-BLUE PAIRINGS. 💖💖

Pansmione (Pansy Parkinson/Hermione Granger) & Blaron (Blaise Zabini/Ron Weasley): Another Slytherin/Gryffindor pairing? And another enemies-to-lovers? And also lesbian/gay? Hell YES. 💞💞💞💞

Hedric (Cedric Diggory/Harry Potter): Their relationship in the fourth movie/book was cute and pure and I will never forgive them for killing Cedric. He was a good friend to Harry and he could have been more than that :(

Chedric (? (Cedric Diggory/Cho Chang): Yes. Just yes. I don't know why, but they are so cute for me. 🥺

Charry (Harry Potter/Cho Chang): This might be controvesial but I like them (definitely more than Hinny). They were kinda cute.

Dransy (Draco Malfoy/Pansy Parkinson): I don't know what to think about this. Part of me says "They're besties". The other part says "They look cute together". Let's say I'm more inclined to say YES. 😉

Lunsy (Pansy Parkinson/Luna Lovegood): It's a Slytherin/Ravenclaw pairing. That's all I need to know. Just yes. 💙💚💙💚💙💚

Hansy (Harry Potter/Pansy Parkinson): It's like Drarry but the love interest is a girl instead of a boy. So it's a yes for me.

Nuna (Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood): You know for one moment I thought they would be canon and I shipped them-

Deamus (Dean Thomas/Seamus Finnigan): They belong together. I don't accept objections. 😆😆

Flintwood (Marcus Flint/Oliver Wood): Two captains, one from Gryffindor and the other from Slytherin, in a relationship? Yes.

Blamione (Blaise Zabini/Hermione Granger) & Ronsy (Ron Wealey/Pansy Parkinson): They're like Pansmione and Blaron but with the love interest reversed so YES.

Ginmione (Ginny Weasley/Hermione Granger): Friends to lovers? Two Gryffindor? A sapphic ship? Perfect. ✨

Dinny (Dean Thomas/Ginny Weasley): They were canon but they're not my thing. I prefer Ginny with Hermione/Luna and Dean with Seamus.

Drastoria (Draco Malfoy/Astoria Greengrass): Not my thing neither but I guess they're good. ����

Druna (Draco Malfoy/Luna Lovegood): I ship Draco with Harry/Ron/Hermione so it's a no for me. Besides I see them as besties. 😔

Chomione (Cho Chang/Hermione Granger): Never thought of it but it seems interesting. 👀

Fremione (Fred Weasley/Hermione Granger): It's not bad but If I were Hermione and I had to date a Weasley- I would choose Ginny. But they're not a bad ship ;)

Geormione (George Weasley/Hermione Granger): The same argument as the previous ship.

Lovander (Rolf Scamander/Luna Lovegood): They're okay but not my thing.

[winn-wynn]

Judging second Gen kids names cause why not

Bill and Fleur: Victoire, Dominique, and Louis. I actually do enjoy their names! They’re different and give a nod to Fleur and the fact she is French. I mean I hope she gets a bigger say she literally gave birth to all of them.

Charlie: I know he has cool names for his dragon babies. 10/10 no notes

Percy and Audrey: Molly and Lucy. I love Lucy, it’s super cute. Ok I get why he names her Molly, like it’s a nod to his mom, I mean people name their kids after relatives all the time. But like damn the pressure I guess.

George and Angelina: Roxanne and Fred. Okay kinda fuck with Roxanne. Pretty cool. Once again, I get it for Fred. But personally I wouldn’t want to be named after my dad’s dead twin but to each their own. Maybe Fred II is super cool with it once he finds out.

Ron and Hermione: Rose and Hugo are cute. Lowkey feel like it’s a nod to the parents name. Lile Rose and Ron, but start with an R. Hugo and Hermione, both with an H. It’s funny. Love it.

Ginny and Harry: James Sirius, Albus Severus, and Lily Luna. OKAY I GET IT. I KNOW. But damn they’re getting bullied okay I’m sorry. I know he wanted to honor the people who died for the war. But like a middle name is fine? Why their entire name please.

Draco and Astoria cause why not: Scorpius Hyperion. Fits on theme with their family. The whole constellation theme they have going on. Migjt get bullied but not for their name but because they’re a Malfoy rip.

Not gonna lie I only made this post to make fun of Harry and Ginny naming skills. They need their naming skills revoked for a bit.

[four2andnew]

Canon Couples and the Random Heights I Assigned Them

Just because I recently re-read this post and it's on my mind. Here's what I think these canon couples' final heights came to be and some justifications behind my thought process, as well as some headcanons. Let's start with my OTP -

Harry (6'1") and Ginny (5'0")

I'm kinda obsessed with the idea that 17yo Harry being the same height as his 21yo deceased father would grow just a couple more inches

Ginny being 5ft fits with her being the noticeably "smallest one" in the DoM during OOTP and with Harry being able to easily look over her head during the infamous First Kiss scene in HBP, putting her head at chest height of Harry (as of HBP)

Ginny is the only one who knows about Harry's petty satisfaction when he ran into Draco Malfoy some years after the war and realized he had continued to grow and Malfoy hadn't

James (5'11") and Lily (5'8")

Because they're both tall enough to be considered "tall", but not the kind of tall that is shocking

Lily being 5'8" makes her tall enough to have to look down at 14yo Harry in the graveyard scene of GOF

Ron (6'5") and Hermione (5'8")

In order for Fred and George to be "shorter and stockier" than 14yo Ron, but still slightly over 6ft so as to shrink to 5'11" in DH, I have to assume Ron's final height came to be one that most people would put in the "Holy shit you're tall" category

I know I'm going to get shouted at for Hermione's height, because she's never described as particularly tall in the books HOWEVER she's never described as particularly short either, just shorter than Harry

This 9 inch height difference give Ron & Hermione the perfect height difference for Ron to comfortably rest his chin on her head without having to hunch over awkwardly like Harry does with Ginny, so I'm sticking to it

Arthur (5'11") and Molly (4'11")

I know the movies made Arthur short and round, but he was described as thin in the books and all the Weasley boys wind up being pretty tall, so they had to get that from somewhere.

Molly is consistently described as short and dumpy throughout the series, and while Ginny is often compared to Molly physically, I just like the idea that Ginny managed to grow that extra inch that Molly never did.

Draco (6'0") and Astoria (5'11")

we know in DH Draco was slightly taller than Harry at the Malfoy Manor scene (p.457, U.S. edition of DH), so if we assume the like linked post above that Harry was 5'11" during DH, then I'd put Draco at 6 foot.

we literally know nothing about Astoria (CC doesn't count), but I picked 5'11" because it is the curse of all tall women to wind up with men roughly the same height

Lucius (5'10") and Narcissa (5'10")

we know Harry and Narcissa are the same height in HBP, so I put her at 5'10"

correct me if I'm wrong, but Lucius is never described as particularly tall, while Narcissa is. And of course, tall for a woman is average for a man. I put Lucius to be around around the same height as Narcissa because I just don't see Lucius' personality allowing him to be with a woman taller than himself.

also, see the curse of tall women above

[klinefelterrible]

Harry: I miss the simpler times when we were just friends and none of us had sex with each other

Hermione: *pausing the lap dance* what

Harry: we used to study for the O.W.L.S., did homework together, played quidditch…

Hermione: *resuming the dance* oh, this

Hermione: if you didn’t leave me that copy of Exotic Wizardry, I would never know what sex is

Harry: you were wearing heels!

Hermione: it’s just a footwear!

Hermione: so was Draco, and so what?

Harry: *gets squished with her boobs* *gasp*

Harry: it was so simple back then

Draco: *from the couch* is he babbling about the simpler times again?

Hermione: what do you think

Draco: for crying out loud, potter! You will not un-fuck Ginny, George, Fred, Luna, Hermione, Cho, Parvati, Neville ——geez, what a list!—— Pansy, Cedric, Astoria, half the Slytherin house and almost everyone in Hufflepuff!

Harry: life was simpler when—

Hermione: *bends over, showing him her butt*

Harry: I could be watching it every day

Draco: *sigh* you are watching it every day

Harry: life was simpler back then

Draco: where does it come from?

Harry: we could meet and just talk

Draco: if I remember those meetings, we were either fucking or talking about fucking

Hermione: there was no meeting of you two without sex

Draco: you mean of any two of us three

Hermione: there were times you and I met and only talked

Draco: yeah, about sex

Harry: they never told us we’re such sexual beings

Harry: craving more and more of intimacy, acquiring good pounding and mind blowing orgasms, only to fill—

Draco: —your hungry asshole

Hermione: or my hungry asshole

Draco: or your hungry mouth

Hermione: what can i do if i just like that

Draco: hey! I like that too! Nothing wrong in sucking dick for fun!

Harry: my best friend is a sex-maniac, married to another sex-maniac

Draco: he’s talking about Ron?

Hermione: I guess

Hermione: I am not married, so contextually—

Harry: all they do lately is fucking

Harry: gigantic white dick entering big, hungry chocolate ass

Harry: all day long

Hermione: I think I will suck your dick and you suck his

Draco: a deal has been made

Harry: all day long, whole careers of the magic world sacrificed to fuck— ohhhh

Draco: MMMM *sucking Potter’s dick*

Hermione: I love this view

Hermione: look at me, Harry

Hermione: do you like my ass? Would you like to destroy it, given a chance?

Harry: *grabs Malfoy’s head and starts fucking it*

Hermione: that’s right

Hermione: fuck my tight, teenage ass

Hermione: I want you to empty your balls in me, can you do it?

Harry: I’m! Gonna! Trrrryyyyyhhhh…

Harry: *cums*

Draco: *licks Potter clean* *stands up*

Draco: you’re a dirty girl, Hermione

Hermione: did you like it?

Draco: I loved every second of it

Harry: that was something

Harry: now I want to see you sucking Draco’s dick

Harry: and Draco will be sucking my finger

Hermione: jesus fuck I am so wet right now

Draco: I’m glad that you’re back from whatever the fuck was that

Harry: I went spiralling down

Hermione: yeah, to the „times where we were all fucking thirteen”

Hermione: in the middle of the lap dance

Hermione: way to go, Harry

Harry: sorry

Hermione: was I so bad?

Harry: let me rephrase: I— uh

Draco: you were missing learning stuff from books at school

Harry: I remember seeing your mom for the first time

Draco: ah yes, the first boner of the great Harry Potter

Harry: so I have to blame the Malfoys for those good, innocent times to end

Harry: you are evil

Draco: *sigh*

Hermione: I’ll start sucking, okay?

Draco: *sigh* by all means

Ginny: *tied, ballgagged and plugged, kneeling in the corner* mMm

Harry: oh right, I almost forgot of her

Draco: what did you promise her

Harry: that if she won’t make a sound I’ll let her eat my ass

Draco: she made a sound though

Harry: I didn’t hear anything

Ginny: MMMM

Harry: I think I need to un-gag her

Harry: *un-gagging Ginny* do you need something, honey?

Ginny: sir, I was promised that disobedience will end with spanking

Harry: how about I’ll cut you a deal

Ginny: uh-huh?

Harry: you will eat my ass, you’ll be spanked hard in yours, but you’ll have to talk about us all in Hogwarts but omitting all the sex we had

Ginny: I am not playing in your mind-games

Ginny: I am here to be humiliated, spanked, fucked and degraded

Ginny: is that understood?

Harry: geez okay

Harry: what is wrong with everyone

Ginny: what is wrong with you?!

Ginny: romanticising the odd times when we were kids who almost died hundred times and didn’t have a friendly dick to suck because we were kids!

Ginny: get a grip, Potter!

Harry: yeah I am not drinking that much of Memory Lane anymore

Draco: did you say „Memory Lane”?

Hermione: *stops sucking* I believe so

Draco: Harry, that’s Pensieve anti-corruption liquid, not a drink

Harry: a full shot of it was standing on the table when I get back from work

Draco: it’s the dosage

Draco: you pour it to the Pensieve and it helps with maintaining it somehow

Harry: so what do I do now

Harry: I feel weird

Hermione: I feel weird too, Draco got so worried about you his dick went limp and just slipped out of my mouth like it was nothing

Ginny: I could eat your ass and pussy if you want

Hermione: slaves don’t talk

Hermione: but you will eat me so hard you won’t be able to talk for another day

Ginny: thank you, milady

Ginny: would you spank my ass a bit too?

Hermione: do a good work and we’ll see

Ginny: yes, milady

Draco: what the fuck, Potter?

Draco: why would you do such a stupid thing?

Harry: I thought you made me a drink

Harry: poured me a shot of something new

Draco: you are such an idiot

Draco: I am apparating us to Mme Pomfrey’s

Harry: are we not too old for this? We were young once and—

Draco: oh shut the fuck up and button up your trousers, okay?

Harry: is that what you’re wearing?

Draco: you have something to add, Potter?

Harry: your makeup is ruined

Draco: I just got mouthfucked

Draco: that’s my natural state and Poppy knows that

Draco: let’s go

*apparates them*

Mme Pomfrey: ahh, Draco

Mme Pomfrey: still getting facefucked, I see

Mme Pomfrey: is everything not a-okay with you, gentlemen?

Mme Pomfrey: between you and me, Draco, I think you’re more like a lady, not a gentleman

Draco: thank you, Poppy

Draco: this idiot drank Memory Lane

Mme Pomfrey: did he? That’s a shame

Mme Pomfrey: he will have weird regrets, then the night of shaking legs and convulsing diarrhoea

Mme Pomfrey: basing on his state I would guess we’re past the regret part, right?

Draco: nah we’re just beginning

Mme Pomfrey: i mean the side effects

Draco: oh, this

Draco: yes

Harry: just leave me here and come on the morning

Mme Pomfrey: I will give him a Warm Worm so he’s not hypothermic and we’ll dunk him in the lake

Draco: won’t he sink?

Mme Pomfrey: the shallow waters will do

Draco: why that?

Mme Pomfrey: his shit will go everywhere so

Mme Pomfrey: it’s better this way

Mme Pomfrey: trust me

Harry: *farts*

Draco: that’s not good

Mme Pomfrey: WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA

Mme Pomfrey: OPEN THE WINDOW!

Harry: *flies away*

Mme Pomfrey: out of sight, out of mind

Draco: thank gods he’s still in his trousers

Mme Pomfrey: just put him in the water and wait until the early morning

Mme Pomfrey: it should pass

Draco: that’s weird

Mme Pomfrey: what is weird, my dear boy, is that he’s the ministry’s most famous and driven auror and he’s still the same dummy who comes home and drinks Pensieve maintenance liquid

Draco: for his defence I will say that we’re here right from a sex-party

Mme Pomfrey: of course you are

Mme Pomfrey: I can smell Hermione too

Hermione: *entering* it’s because I came here to help as well

Mme Pomfrey: nice outfit, you guys robbed the fishing boat?

Hermione: *neck to toe in various fishnet attire* have you seen Ginny?

Hermione: heel!

Ginny: *walks in on all fours* MmMmm

Hermione: *un-gags her*

Ginny: hello Madame Pomfrey

Mme Pomfrey: good dog!

Draco: I’ll go and check on Harry

Mme Pomfrey: I think he shits himself on the roof now

Draco: jesus christ

Snape: *entering* WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE SHIT OUTSIDE THE WINDOW

Snape: *sees Draco, Hermione and Ginny, all dressed in sexual-provocative way* NO

Snape: NOT THEM AGAIN

Snape: *leaves*

Snape: *from outside the door* FOR FUCK SAKES!!!!

Mme Pomfrey: *listens to steps on the corridor*

Mme Pomfrey: McGonagall is coming! Hide!

Hermione: *stashes Ginny under the bed, herself hides behind the curtain*

Draco: *crawls under the desk*

Professor McGonagall: *enters*

Professor McGonagall: I saw your window opened, so I figured it’s time for some Hagrid’s Finest

Professor McGonagall: I have few minutes to spare

Mme Pomfrey: oh

Mme Pomfrey: okay

Mme Pomfrey: *walks towards the desk, opens the drawer, gives Draco the look and closes it*

Professor McGonagall: on the desk, love

Mme Pomfrey: one day I will lose my own head here

Professor McGonagall: If I find yourself without your head, I will assume you gave it to Hagrid.

Professor McGonagall: wink, wink

Mme Pomfrey: Minerva! You naughty, naughty girl

Professor McGonagall: I learned from the best

Professor McGonagall: and I mean by observing Hermione Granger

Professor McGonagall: that one could suck Snape out of the forty-gallon cauldron through a quarter inch tube, I shit you not

Mme Pomfrey: *casually lights up two cigarettes, gives one to McGonagall* so how is everything?

Professor McGonagall: Oh it’s f—

Professor McGonagall: Why is Potter convulsingly shitting himself on the Herbology Roof?

Mme Pomfrey: what can I say

Mme Pomfrey: long story short, he drank some Memory Lane

Professor McGonagall: whew lad, you’re in for a treat

Professor McGonagall: he will now find new ways to use his butt

Mme Pomfrey: or as we call it in the hospital: the usual way

Mme Pomfrey: or was it the natural way?

Professor McGonagall: why is Hermione behind the curtain?

Mme Pomfrey: they play sexy hide and seek and Potter decided to shit himself middle game

Professor McGonagall: I see

Professor McGonagall: that has nothing to do with… Let me guess, Draco, under the table?

Mme Pomfrey: I hired his as my new helper here. Collecting dust from under the desk, now, I believe

Professor McGonagall: entry position, as far as I understand the lower levels of career in labouring

Professor McGonagall: that boy sure spends a lot of time on his knees even without that

Professor McGonagall: my, my… you didn’t tell me you let animals in here, too

Mme Pomfrey: oh, yes… Ginny Weasley prefers this method over the classic method of, you know, transfiguration

Professor McGonagall: ah, youth

Professor McGonagall: we give them tools to figure it all out on their own I guess

Mme Pomfrey: I’m sure some of them came here with bags of their own… tools

Professor McGonagall: ah yes, the famous Weasley Chest

Mme Pomfrey: I meant the Plentiful Malfoy Boxes

Professor McGonagall: that too

Professor McGonagall: why don’t you put Potter into a lake?

Mme Pomfrey: we got distracted

Mme Pomfrey: and by me, I mean all of us

Mme Pomfrey: I bet they stay hidden because they really are terrified of your “look”.

Professor McGonagall: is that so? Granger?

Hermione: …yes, professor?

Draco: …yes, professor McGonagall

Ginny: mmgblg

Mme Pomfrey: she’s gagged

Professor McGonagall: I see

Professor McGonagall: oh shit, Snape is climbing the roof

Mme Pomfrey: we got to do something

Mme Pomfrey: Potter will shit all over him and we will hear about it forever

Hermione: we could, uhm

Professor McGonagall: SEVERUS!

Snape: WHAT

Professor McGonagall: I didn’t think that through

Hermione: *flashes him*

Professor McGonagall: I am not doing that, even if it could help

Hermione: *jiggles her boobs*

Professor Flitwick: *on the ground* that is the best student that ever graduated this school

Professor Flitwick: take a good look, boys and girls

Professor Flitwick: it will help you during those long, lonely nights

Professor McGonagall: Flitwick!

Professor Flitwick: yes, Minerva?

Professor McGonagall: prevent Snape from… ah, crap

Harry: *shits all over himself and roof*

Snape: I AM NOT HAVING YOU SHITTING ALL OVER ME AND EVERYTHING

Snape: *puts a charm on Potter, creating a green spherical barrier around him*

Snape: *flies Potter to the nearest pond*

Mme Pomfrey: the ponds! How could I forget that the ponds are here!

Professor McGonagall: don’t be hard on yourself, I too have forgotten about their existence

Professor McGonagall: Harry Potter’s problems seem to have this effect on people

Mme Pomfrey: mmmhm?

Professor McGonagall: I just saw him shitting on himself on the roof and immediately forgot about our koi ponds!

Draco: god forbid a man shat himself around here, women lose their heads

Professor McGonagall: yes, Draco, we all know what did you do with your head, as I can smell your breath from here

Ginny: MMMM!

Hermione: I believe she said “burn”.

Ginny: MHM

Hermione: do you want me to un-gag you?

Ginny: MM MHMHM HMM

Professor McGonagall: “no. fucking. way.”, was it?

Mme Pomfrey: language!

Professor McGonagall: oh please, they practically invented these words just like Draco’s mother invented uncomfortable shoes

Hermione: oh—

Professor McGonagall: everything all right, Hermione?

Draco: you mentioned my mom and she’s deeply in love with her

Professor McGonagall: I thought you and Weasley—

Mme Pomfrey: Weasley-s

Hermione: that’s just sex, professor… uhm, madame

Professor McGonagall: my, my…

Professor McGonagall: *crouching* anyway how did you manage to get involved in all of this?

Ginny: M HM HM HMM

Professor McGonagall: “I wanted to”

Professor McGonagall: still into Harry, I see

Ginny: *clacking her heels on each other*

Hermione: that’s her signal to un-gag her

Professor McGonagall: *takes Ginny’s gag off*

Ginny: I am doing this because I love all of them, professor

Professor McGonagall: you were always the most romantic person in this family

Ginny: also they owe me this

Draco: she cuts my lawn for sexual favours

Professor McGonagall: really? Lawn? At Grimauld Place?

Draco: I mean…

Mme Pomfrey: he means his bush

Professor McGonagall: I know exactly what he means

Snape: Hermione Granger!

Hermione: *in the window* yes, professor Snape?

Professor McGonagall: “yes, professor Snape?”

Snape: would you please just take Malfoy and Weasley away from the school premises?

Hermione: but Harry…

Snape: I… Will… take care… of the shitpants Potter here! I just need you all gone!

Professor McGonagall: I think what professor Snape means, is that you seem to be distracting everyone from the school with your… nakedness

Hermione: I could wear a school robe—

Draco: I cou—

Professor McGonagall: please, you two

Professor McGonagall: everyone in the school saw at least one of your most famous photographs

Mme Pomfrey: I liked the one with Hermione in leopard miniskirt

Hermione: oh—

Draco: uhm—

Professor McGonagall: yes, Draco, the famous headband with a bow as well

Draco: fucking Weasleys…!

Professor McGonagall: as I recall, you paid them to print it in their “Naughtingham” magazine.

Draco: yes, I… paid

Professor McGonagall: I don’t care how did you pay, I mean I just know that they don’t print anything for free

Ginny: he sucked their di—

Professor McGonagall: and I’m sure he did it very well

Hermione: guys we got to leave the school

Draco: I am not leaving my husband

Professor McGonagall: in my opinion it will be better for you to just leave

Mme Pomfrey: I will take care of Potter, honey

Draco: well… okay *stands up from under the desk*

Draco: come on, doggy, let’s go to my place

Ginny: I hope you mean Malfoy Manor

Hermione: I need to see Narcissa

Draco: we all need to see her

Hermione: oh?

Draco: she might know what to do to Harry

Hermione: oh

Hermione: I thought—

Draco: don’t be ridiculous

Ginny: it was pleasure to meet you, professor, madame—

Draco: I too was delighted

Professor McGonagall: send my best to your parents… all of them, the Malfoys, the Weasleys and the Grangers. One big happy family I hope

Draco: the happiest

Ginny: thank you—

Mme Pomfrey: oh just grab the portkey and be gone now, will you?

Draco, Hermione and Ginny: *grab the portkey and disappear*

Professor McGonagall: I think I need a drink

Mme Pomfrey: I have some Bearhugger whisky

Professor McGonagall: anything will be good to wash down the Snape’s face expression

Mme Pomfrey: *looks through the window* I see what you mean

Outside, in the koi pond

Snape: *waters down Harry with a hose*

Harry: *farts and shits himself more*

Snape: *moans*

Harry: *moans and farts*

Snape: ehhh

Snape: I need a drink too

Snape: I probably have a flask here somewhere *taps his pockets*

Snape: *finds two flasks* what the fuck is this

Snape: *tries to sniff them* everything smells like shit anyway

Snape: ah fuck it *drinks both at once*

*turns into Hermione*

Snape: ah shit

Snape: ah fucking shit not this now

Snape: ahhh shit fucking fucking shit

Snape: *undresses from his clothes now too big for him*

Harry: *gets a boner*

Snape: for fuck sakes

[yumeurl]

i don't know why i have no problem with draco and astoria being definitely in love and were in a good relationship but for harry and ginny they're always on the brink of a divorce for me MGFMDGMFDG

i don't see them as "in love once but the love fizzled out" i saw them as "attracted initially but slowly discovered their personalities weren't fit for each other" i know CC is regarded as noncanon by the majority but most of ginny's lines there when she isn't being a mother sounds like a resentment of harry being closer to his other two friends than her and not being able to get through him when he's struggling. ffs the one who got through and gave harry advice about his son was DRACO. CC ginny about to sign those papers bro 😭

[odium-amare]

50 Shades of Manacled (Honest Review)

Since the rise of fame for this (previously a Dramione fanfiction) body of work, thanks to the fanfare of TikTok and social media, I decided to give this story a shot. Disclaimer: This was my first Dramione story, and I’m not heavily invested in the Harry Potter universe. However, I’m always open to trying new things.

‘Manacled’ was treated like the second coming of Jesus. I could see through reviews, videos, and Reddit that many hearts underwent many powerful, life-altering transformations.

My curiosity was piqued. The fanfic had 77 chapters and a total of 370,515 words. I managed to finish the story. 

Normally, I wouldn’t do an honest critique of fanfiction because, like many, I prefer to treat fanfic as fanfic. Seeing as how the author has endeavored to make a pretty penny out of it and revised the title as ‘Alchemised,’ this work of fiction is now free real estate for me to comb through with my thoughts.

Broken down into 3 parts:

The Good/Okay-ish 

If you’ve read about anything related to this story, then you will know that it contains rape; a lot of rape. Unexpectedly, I had no problems with the non-consensual aspect of this fic (which many people did and I understand.) I have no morality issues with non-consent between two MCs in general in a fictional setting. It’s even a guilty pleasure, and I thought Manacled incorporated this dark concept well into the plot.  On another note, I see people excusing Draco and his actions because he “had no choice” because of so and so.

Firstly, Draco was deliberately portrayed as overpowered - bordering on Gary-Stu levels of abilities. Voldemort, on the other hand, was written as a weakened and dying cripple.

There is always a choice and as another reviewer pointed out, Draco chose to rape. Let’s not skirt around that.

The incorporation of the rape and breeding causes was written out to make the torture porn even torture porn-ier.

The writing knows how to grip your attention and keep you reading. It was entertaining enough, and this was probably why the fic has kept the attention span of a lot of readers.

Narcissa was one of the few characters that was interesting. Her and Lucius’ presence added seasoning to the fic. The idea of her ‘spirit’ inside her portrait looking out for the people she cared about was nice.

Ginny was the best character. She’s flawed (like anyone else) but unlike our titular heroine, Ginny was likable and…owns up to her shit, and doesn’t gaslight those around her. Then she does the single best thing towards the end of Manacled. One of the few parts of the story that didn’t make me want to gouge my eyes out like Astoria did with Hermione. More on Ginny later. 

The Mediocre/Bad

The setup of the bleak and dismal atmosphere was well done - at first. You then realize the bleak and dismal atmosphere is increasingly layered with misery, macabre, grotesque, and affliction every single chapter just for the sake of it. It got heavy-handed and corny fast. Eventually, it came off as if you gave black-eyelinered Bella Swan a Word document and a keyboard to write.

The author loves these words and phrases:

‘Her throat tightened’

‘Thin smile’

‘Smirk,’ ‘Sneer’

‘Bitter smile,’ ‘Bitter’

‘Rage’

Other repetitive words/phrases you’ll have to read at least three times a chapter.

The author also loves to drill down the fact that Hermione is having a panic attack, mental breakdown, or schizophrenic episode at least once a chapter. You will have to read detailed articles about the ins and outs of Hermione crying/wailing/sobbing. Excessive and tedious essays of her every waking thought and activity. It’s rather impressive.  I like to think I’m an empathetic person, but if you end up making me want to get a shovel and bury a character for crying, you’re probably doing something wrong.

The story has three parts. Part 1 which set the present scenery - done alright. But then all that skid down the ski slopes (level difficulty: very steep)  the moment the flashbacks started. The author thought it was a good idea to format the flashbacks as 38 chapters in the middle. There were indeed flashbacks, info dump and even filler. As I expected, there was no way this long-winded fanfic could content itself with only one epilogue; there were three epilogues. 

Why was the fic so egregiously long? Because there’s an avalanche of redundant context, purple prose, and exposition/journalistic essays about Hermione’s panic attacks and tears. The despairing torture porn has all the subtlety of a car crash. The writing was questionable, and this would’ve been bearable…if I didn’t want to slaughter the main characters. So, this takes me to my next part - The Horrendous.

The Horrendous

Hermione is similar to your run-of-the-mill YA heroine. It’s like indulgent, fast food. The heroine was the perfect recipe for self-absorption, martyr complex, a perpetual victim (the war doesn’t excuse this because I’ll get to it,) obtuseness and hypocrisy. In every single other scene, she obstinately refuses to listen to reason. She zigzags between moping, feeling sorry for herself, and doing something stupid because she’s thick in the head. (Exhibit A: Foraging scenes. Exhibit B: Makes 100 ‘lie’ promises to people and throws herself into danger because of reasons.)

The author insists Hermione’s not supposed to be a saint, but she sure goes out of her way to depict Hermione as this Saint Theresa-like character. Otherwise, the cheapened, demonic portrayal of other male and female characters sans Draco wouldn’t have been necessary.  When things don’t go Hermione’s way and predictably, end up disastrous - she falls back into moping and feeling sorry for herself.

She has airs about morality, but then creates bombs that kill hundreds/thousands of people to save her boyfriend - in the name of true love. She has no problems being self-serving when it suits her or killing others for that matter. But of course, she’s against the evil-devil-schevil Voldemort and whatever ‘bad guys’ being evil-devil-schevil cause they’re the antagonists and she’s the Saint Theresa protagonist. It’s cyclical, it’s old and it’s exhausting.

To clarify more about the depiction of the side characters that are not our titular hero & heroine, all of Hermione’s canon friends like Harry, Ron, etc were portrayed as theatrical, out-of-character demons. See, these buffoon caricatures should have listened to poor, pitiful Hermione (because plot) and because of the 8.2 billion people on Earth, Saint Hermione is the only one with common sense.  They hated Jesus because he told them the truth. Sorrows and prayers.

Astoria - your residential, obligatory Regina George - the foil to Saint Jesus Hermione. Naturally, she was written as slipshod, rage bait for the readers to have another female to hate, crow and shrill once her head was sliced off. No, literally. The nature of how her character was written was so cartoonishly absurd, the blonde cheerleader from your early 2000s rom-com was Shakespearean compared to Manacled’s Astoria.

There was an attempt to make the plot complex. That fell short when the deux-ex-machina moments, weird plotholes and explanations made zero sense. I took a look at the author’s blog, and there was a post on how she confirmed Hermione rationalizes everything she does. That makes sense. I can see that the author too, likes to rationalize everything she writes and any critique she receives, so I’m sure all her plotholes made sense inside her head.

As for our edgy, Death Eater boyfriend - He’s a sociopathic murderer. But at least he has that self-awareness. Somewhat. His full-time job is glaring in ‘rage,’ ‘sneering,’ or killing everyone and anyone that’s not Saint Hermione. Sometimes, he’s horny and ‘pushes himself’ into Hermione. His part-time job is ‘looking at Hermione possessively.’ But you know. The girlies eat that up, and obviously, that shit sells.

More on Ginny. What a finale. What an ending for Voldemort and so fitting that it’d be the person you least expect to finish off the major antagonist. By the end of the novel; she is the only sensible and badass character who tries to warn her dumb friend from running off with the wicked, bad boy, but naturally, the dumb friend doesn’t listen. Oh well. 

In conclusion: The main characters were insufferable. And therefore, I didn’t enjoy the story. In the author’s defense, she did mention a few times that the characters’ actions were irredeemable themselves. A happy ending wouldn’t have been realistic. 

With the atrocities both Draco and Hermione committed exactly like the antagonists, they should’ve been killed off as well. 

[handledwithgloves]

This question is more Curse Child related than Harry Potter related. You’ve stated before that you generally don’t ship Draco with anyone other than Harry, but what about Astoria?

I remember when the Curse Child stage play was first being introduced a small portion of the fandom thought that Draco should’ve married Pansy. Personally, I’m glad he didn’t. No hate, I just never saw them ever having a romantic relationship so I didn’t mind that he “canonically” (I put quotations since the majority of the HP fandom doesn’t consider CC canon) ended up with Astoria even if she wasn’t often mentioned in the original HP series.

So what are your overall thoughts on Drastoria?

hello anon!! thanks for asking!!

i enjoy other draco ships as concepts, but not really as a ship ship (if that makes sense). I personally don't think that draco flourishes in other ships as well as he does in drarry.

concerning astoria, i feel like her character was just there for the conception of scorpius. while i do really like drastoria, i know near nothing about astoria. perhaps thats my fault, but we learn so much more about draco in their relationship than we ever do about astoria. she's sort of blank, kind and open-minded but other than that nothing else is said about her. of course that's just jkr writing women. i would like to know more about her before i start shipping drastoria seriously.

i do like drastoria, as a way to build draco's character and scorpius's background. i think they could be a good ship to ship, if astoria was a more fleshed out character.

i DO NOT ship pansy with anyone but her canon husband blaise. i think the scene in the train where pansy asks blaise about ginny is a cute way to allude to them. i am beyond happy that draco didn't end up with her and instead with a character unknown to harry until the epilogue.

[wizardingworldlibrary]

No Smut Masterlist

A Little Help from a Snake (ao3) - Anonymous harry/tom, sirius/remus T, 137k

Summary: It was a normal day for Harry. He woke up, made breakfast for his relatives, ate some leftovers, and went out to do the chores set for him. Then it all changed when he accidentally disturbed a snake in the grass.

A Piece of Myself I Left at Hogwarts (ao3) - iMickey draco/harry, hermione/ron, dean/ginny G, 289k

Summary: Draco Malfoy, father of four children, divorced husband of Astoria Greengrass, and French-speaking Potions Master, is given the chance to become Potions Professor and Head of Slytherin House at Hogwarts. Harry Potter, father of three children, divorced husband of Ginny Weasley, and only a few years aware of being gay, is given the chance to become Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts.

Their children make sure they end up together.

Or, an 'Enemies to Friends to Enemies to Friends to Lovers' Drarry fic.

A Trio of Serpents (ao3) - onyxjay T, 149k

Summary: "A Potter, a Weasley, and a Muggle-born in Slytherin. That's a pretty odd combination, don't you think?"

Discards (ao3) - picascribit sirius/remus, james/lily M, 76k

Summary: When assistant librarian Sirius Black develops a crush on a college student at the Seattle Public Library, all he wants to know is whether he's cool about dating trans guys. But Remus's life is more complicated than Sirius ever could have guessed.

Do I Wanna Know? (ao3) - shadow_prince sirius/remus T, 25k

Summary: When the Marauders return for their 6th year at Hogwarts, Sirius isn't the only one to notice that Remus got, well… hot over the summer. He is, however, the one to come up with the perfect solution. That is, until a certain James Potter and Lily Evans decide to put aside their differences in the interest of some combined mischief.

Domestic Wizardry (ao3) - TrillbySkinner hermione/draco T, 75k

Summary: Widower Draco Malfoy doesn't realize how his life will change when his eight year old son, Scorpius, brings home the cell number of his best friend’s mother and begs his father to call and offer what assistance they can.

Hermione Granger-Weasley’s husband of ten years has taken everything from her. Her books, her family, and her safety. After a fortuitous phone call from an old enemy, she finds a new start for herself and her daughter in the most unexpected of places.

Down at the Wolfbucks Cafe (ao3) - WolfstarGarden sirius/remus, regulus/james M, 38k

Summary: James and Remus run a very successful queer-friendly cafe. Sirius and Regulus visit one day.

Harry Potter and the GUI (ao3) - samhaine T, 173k

Summary: What if the "power the Dark Lord knows not" was Harry Potter's sudden and inexplicable ability to treat the world as if it was a video game?

I Choose Him (ao3) - aboutmalfoy draco/harry, hermione/viktor, neville/blaise, luna/pansy, + more T, 44k

Summary: Draco Malfoy attempts, rather suddenly, to take action regarding his long-standing crush on Potter, after which fourth year transpires quite a bit differently.

Ink (My Skin With Your Name) (ao3) - Kandakicksass draco/harry M, 21k

Summary: Several years after the war, an ostracized Draco Malfoy covers himself in tattoos, becomes best friends with a muggle, and debates abandoning magical society entirely to work in a tattoo shop. All in all, he's having a hell of a time trying to figure out who he is and what he wants to do with his life. The last thing he needs is to run into Harry Potter, who seems intent on becoming his friend, even if he has to get a lot of ink to do it.

in the fires of our youth (oh, brother of mine) (ao3) - quynhorlose sirius/remus, regulus/james T, 20k

Summary: Regulus Black has not seen his older brother in seven years. He's perfectly accepted the fact that he'd been abandoned to the wrath of their parents and is content to be in a world in which he never has to see Sirius again.

They both got out, eventually. What does it matter that it wasn't together?

Regulus has his own life, now, a best-friend-slash-flatmate that he would die and kill for and a job at a planetarium that he loves. He's sure that his brother is off living happily somewhere; so there is really no need for their paths to intersect.

Fate, in the form of two concert tickets and a flatmate with a celebrity crush, has other plans.

Rituals, Treaties, and Marriages Oh My (ao3) - cassiethecat harry/tom M, 61k

Summary: End of 6th Year, in an AU where Dumbledore has Harry under compulsions. Harry finds himself breaking free from those binds and accidentally gives Tom Riddle back his sanity. Tom of course takes the next logical step in this chain of events: forcing the Boy-Who-Lived into a marriage contract with him so he can obtain the Slytherin Lordship (definitely not because he likes the boy, Nagini please stop saying that).

Follow Harry and friends (though mostly Harry) as the Chosen One navigates negotiations, falls in love with the new Tom, and schemes his way past Dumbledore and into power.

Rushing Back (ao3) - floorcoaster hermione/draco, astoria/draco, astoria/theodore M, 80k

Summary: Draco Malfoy is thirty, surviving, and very much not thriving. He's near the utter end of himself when he experiences the worst of all possible bad days--a double betrayal that rocks him to his core. Unmoored, untethered, he winds up in a strange place, where he begins an adventure through time that will change the course of his life.

A time travel fic with a twist on the movie "13 Going on 30."

The Grey-Eyed Dragon (ao3) - 100SleeplessNights draco/harry, hermione/ron, luna/ofc M, 103k

Summary: As soon as Harry gets on the Hogwarts Express to start his Eights Year he begins to feel terribly cold and no hearth or blanket is able to warm him. What is the meaning of this? And why does it get better when he is in close proximity to Malfoy?

Vim, Vigor, and Vipertooth (ao3) - ElizColl charlie/oliver T, 1k

Summary: Oliver Wood visits Charlie Weasley at the dragon reserve and ends up in the hospital when he tries to help Charlie wrangle a loose dragon. Fluffy fluffiness, with a side of head injury.

[kingladywrites]

Ginny found herself sitting with Malfoy at her kitchen table as the rainstorm outside only intensified. She sipped her tea, wishing she had remembered to pick up honey. Across from her Malfoy’s expression was dark.

“Do you care about Astoria?” Ginny asked suddenly.

“I do.”

“Do you love her or like her romantically at all?”

“No.”

“Hear me out,” she said slowly. “But what if things work out between Astoria and Harry. Then her family will have his help, his name, his fame…all that.”

“But what if it doesn’t?” He glared at her. “They danced for fifteen minutes, that’s hardly enough to base a relationship off of.”

Ginny sighed. “Yeah, but they both work for the Ministry.”

“So do I.”

“Not by choice.”

His expression only darkened. 

“I’m just saying, they both want to help people. They both are smart and charming, and people seem to really like them a lot.”

“Have you ever read a newspaper? People do not always like them. At least not Astoria.”

Ginny met Malfoy’s eyes and said, “anytime Harry was spoken badly about in the paper, it was with me attached. I was either labeled as too opinionated or poor or ugly for him. But they like Harry. And I think it’s the same with Astoria. It’s not her they dislike but you.”

“You’re saying that the public doesn’t like me?” A smile tugged at his lips.

“Yes,” Ginny said. “But feelings aside, they’re quite a couple, right?”

“Again, Ginerva, they danced for fifteen minutes. What makes you think they are even going to have a relationship in the first place. Astoria is still engaged.” Malfoy exaggerated her name like it was the worst thing he could call her.

“With a little help, I think Harry could ask her out,” Ginny raised an eyebrow.

“You’re going to convince your ex to ask my fiancé out?”

“Yeah.”

“How is this going to help my image?”

“I thought you were only worried about Astoria?”

He scoffed. “Who do you think I am? Of course I care about my image. Right now, I’m not only a Death Eater and a criminal, but I’m also an adulterer.” 

“Who uses that word?” She crinkled her nose.

Malfoy rolled his eyes. “If you’re so clever, how are we going to fix this?”

Ginny thought for a moment. As the rain poured down outside, her eyes drifted idly to the newsclip on the table. Suddenly a thought came to her. She looked across to Malfoy. “I think I have an idea, but you’re going to hate it.”

“Merlin, save me. What is it?”

“What’s the thing the papers love even more than scandals?”

“I don’t know, get to the point.”

“Romance.”

He rolled his eyes. “Again, I’m asking you to get-to-the-fucking-point.”

“Merlin, Malfoy,” she groaned. “What if you release a statement saying that you’ve fallen terribly in love with me and are breaking off your engagement with-”

“You’re joking.”

“No, we pretend to date for a couple weeks, fake a breakup and by that time Astoria and Harry will be happily dating.”

“I’ve met people in Azkaban that are saner than you.”

Read "Forgive the Children We Once Were" here!

[emmie-tt]

Hi there,

can I request a Blaise Zabini x reader?

Reader is also a Slytherin who got partnered up with Harry Potter during potions and became fast friends with him. Harry asked for her help to make Ginny jealous but what she didn’t expect is that Blaise would also be jealous and ended up confessing that he’s been in love with her this whole time? (Blaise and reader are close friends).

Thank you!

Glitch

Blaise Zabini x reader Summary: Helping Harry make his crush jealous unknowingly made your best friend jealous as well,I think there's been a glitch Warnings: Cursing , Sexual Innuendos -------------

I was supposed to sweat you out In search of glorious happenings of happenstance on someone else's playground But it's been two thousand one hundred and 90 days of our love blackout The system's breaking down

Y/N POV

Your brows furrow as you look up from your paper that you were busy writing your essay on before Harry sat himself down across from you and proposed a ridiculous idea

"Come on...Please..." He pleads as he stares you down

You stare at him silently before setting your quill down and leaning back in your chair "Let me get this straight, you want me to parade around as your arm candy so you can make your best friends little sister jealous in hopes she will notice you and go on a date with you?" Harry shakes his head as she groans "When you put it like that it sounds bad"

"No shit! That's because it is bad, it's actually horrible. In fact it's so bad I am honestly disgusted-"

He cuts you off with a dramatic roll of his eyes and a scoff "Fine, just forget it."

"Woah, woah, woah glasses. I never said I wouldn't do it."

"But you said-"

"I said it was a bad idea, not that I wouldn't do it." You shrug slightly before sitting up straighter in the chair "I'll do it, only because I know how much it will piss your little friends off that your associating with the enemy."

He rolls his eyes again but nods "Cool...Just- I'll meet you outside the greathall in the morning alright?" "Mhm. Off you go glasses"

With one last scoff he walks out of the library and back to wherever he came from and you just shake your head with a giggle as you watch him walk out the door

-------------

The next morning you roll out of bed and go about your morning routine. Taking a quick shower, brushing your teeth and hair, doing your skin care and getting dressed into your uniform for the day before making your way down to the common room where Draco, Theodore, Mattheo, Astoria, Daphne, Pansy and Blaise were already stood.

"About time you got down here" Astoria says with a smirk as you walk over to the group and took your spot next to Blaise

"Yeah, yeah, says the one who has to wake up four hours early."

With that we all have a little laugh before starting our walk towards the great hall. With a raised brow Pansy pokes your side and points over to Harry who was stood at the doors of the great hall

"Whats he doing?" she asks, ever the nosey and you giggle softly

"Waiting for me."

Blaise's neck almost broke from how fast he turned it to look at you. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Anyways, I will see you fine people in class" You blow them all a kiss before walking off and over to Harry who instantly laces his fingers with yours and leads you into the great hall

Blaise watches with a glare as you disappear into the great hall, your fingers laced with...Harry fucking Potters...Without meaning to I scoff and suddenly Draco's chuckle pulls me from my head and I look over at him slightly confused

Draco smirks before mockingly wiggling his brows "Watch it Zabini, you might be a Slytherin but green is not your color mate"

Blaise rolls his eyes and ignores the other teasing comments as he makes his way into the great hall and sits down to begin eating breakfast. His gaze travels from his plate and over to the Gryffindor table where you were sat, tucked into Potters side giggling at something he says

He can't be that funny and he sure as hell isn't cute- He pulls himself from his thoughts when you glance over at him and wink.

He rolls his eyes and turns his gaze back back to his plate, an action that shocked you as he always winked back...

Deciding to talk to him about it later you turn your own gaze back to Harry who was now talking to Ginny about godrick knows what. After a moment you fall into a surprisingly friendly conversation with Hermione.

-------------

Classes drug by. With Blaise seemingly ignoring you, you had no one to talk to or mess around with. The only good thing being that Harry successfully won over Ginny, something you were very surprised about.

Trudging into the common room you groan and immediately threw off your shoes before glancing around the room to see who was around. Seeing Blaise and Theo you smile and walk over taking a seat between both of them, your smile dropping instantly when Blaise stands and walks off up to his dorm.

Glancing over at Theo clearly confused he sighs rolling his eyes "He is so dramatic"

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Yeah."

Theos words shocked you and your eyes widened "Wh-What? What did I do?"

"You sucked Potters dick instead of Zabinins?"

While Theo's original words shocked you the sentence that fell from his mouth left you utterly speechless "E-Excuse me?"

Theo shrugs as if he just said the most normal thing ever. "You heard me."

You scoff shaking your head as you stand from the couch shaking your head "He doesn't look at me like that, you're crazy."

"Right, he totally isn't talking to you because he thinks you're screwing scar head. He is totally fine with it and just absolutely adores the idea because he totally isn't in love with you."

You were once again rendered speechless by his words, there was no possible way that Blaise, your absolute best friend, was in love with you-

Cutting your own thoughts off you dash up to the boys dorms, ignoring the teasing comment of Theodore who yelled "Go get that dick girl!"

After knocking on the door and receiving no answer you take it upon yourself to slam the door open finding Blaise, who now looked startled, laying shirtless on his bed with his phone in his hands

"Are you- What is happening with you? Why are you mad at me?"

He rolls his eyes with a scoff before muttering "Go away Y/N"

Shaking your head and walking into the dorm before closing the door behind you "No. Do you love me?"

His eyes widen slightly, clearly caught off guard by your blunt answer, he looks over at you then back to his phone "Doesn't matter, you're with Potter..."

Rolling your eyes you walk over and plop yourself down on the bed next to him causing him to shoot you a bewildered look "What are you-"

"I am not with Potter, I was merely trying to help him get with Ginny."

His bewilderment quickly turns to confusion as his body slowly relaxes from the tense state it was previously in and it slowly relaxed "Help with Ginny? How was you pretending to be his girlfriend helping him?"

You rolls your eyes "He made her jealous by pretending to date me since she hates me..."

"That..." Blaise mumbles as he lays his head back against the pillow "Is the dumbest thing I've ever heard..."

"I know!" You exclaim before rolling onto your side to face him "Now, tell me the truth. Do you love me or is Theodore lying?"

Blaise raises a brow as he glances over at you "Nott told you?"

With a groan you rather roughly smack his shoulder "Stop avoiding the question!"

He groans "Fine- yes... I do but it doesn't matter because there is no way you like me back-"

Rolling your eyes you cut his rambling off with a soft kiss, your hands gently cupping his cheeks as his hands shoot down to your waist as he instantly melts into the kiss

After a moment you pull away and rest your forehead against his "I do love you...I have for awhile..."

A smirk forms on his face as he pushes you onto your back next to him before climbing on top of you and kissing you again...among other things...

I think there's been a glitch, oh, yeah Five seconds later, I'm fastening myself to you with a stitch, oh, yeah And I'm not even sorry Nights are so starry, blood moonlit It must be counterfeit I think there's been a glitch, oh, yeah

[iamnmbr3]

Hey, what's your take on Dransy? I don't remember seeing you talk about it much. Do you think they actually liked each other? Or that Pansy was just a fangirl? What do you think about how JKR treated Pansy's character?

Oooh! Interesting question!

I certainly don't think Draco and Pansy know each other that well. He doesn't seem to confide in her or view her as even a relucutant ally the way he sees Crabbe & Goyle in book 6. They may both grown up assuming they might have to get married one day. After all, there are only so many suitable pureblood women out there. And for Pansy marrying a Malfoy would be very advantageous.

She, like a lot of the other Slytherins, seems to be one of the hangers on who fawn on Draco when his family is important and powerful in pureblood circles but start having second thoughts following their downfall. It's one thing when Lucius gets thrown in jail in book 5 but Voldemort is ascendent and Lucius is presumably still one of his inner circle. It's another thing when it gets out how far in Voldemort's favor the Malfoys have fallen and how unlikely they are ever to recover. We certainly see in book 7 how Crabbe & Goyle truly feel about Draco. Perhaps Pansy is equally indifferent, perhaps not.

I do think it's notable that if Draco was present when Pansy shouted that someone should seize Harry, he certainly didn't take her side which shows they may also have diverged in their attitudes about Voldemort's rule or just in terms of how far they were willing to go in his service.

Another interesting thing though is that Draco and Pansy never seem to actually date (for all the Harry fears it). I personally read Draco as gay. Whether or not Pansy knows this depends on how accepting of that the wizarding world is and also how close they are. Interestingly, the exchange that Harry overhears in the train compartment in book 6 could be interpreted as Pansy 1) knowing or guessing that Draco has feelings for Harry and might be jealous of Ginny and 2) having secret feelings for Blaise (further backed up by the fact that she eventually marries him).

I like platonic Draco & Pansy better than romantic. I do wish thoough that fandom didn't have a tendency to sometimes flatten her into a Marysuish Girlboss and ignore her very real flaws like her bigotry or the fact that she tried to turn Harry over to Voldemort. Some people tend to just make her into Draco's badass bestie who is always right and flawless and can do no wrong when the reality is that she is a deeply flawed character who has definitely made mistakes and would face hardship postwar. I actually tend to see her and Draco going separate ways in the postwar world and Draco getting closer to people who he didn't associate with before - like Daphne & Astoria Greengrass.

I think you could do something interesting with Pansy postwar trying to chart her own destiny and figure out where she fits in.

[ynandfics]

“Draco nobody literally asked you” Pansy turns to the boy decked out in his best black suit. His dark mark hidden after all these years.

“Y/n tell him he’s dreaming pretty please?” The girls had originally gotten together for one last

“You’re dreaming love, but also interrupting the peace” I waved him away, I heard Hermione giggle in the background.

“Is the bachelor party that boring you decided to check on us via floo powder?” Astoria questioned Draco, sharp as the true Slytherin she used to be.

“Let’s just say, Nott and Zabini would even be a surprise at the wedding cause they’re so drunk. And all the Weasley’s hold alcohol really well? They want to do tequila shots, only Harry knows how to get that though out of us” I laughed with the girls at his pure misery, it didn’t sound bad at all.

“Tell you what Draco? Take this bottle to them and shove off” Ginny handed him a bottle of tequila we were going to have later, but oh well, it was for a good cause.

“Oh uh thank you” Draco slowly walked towards the door and shut it. The second it clicked we all burst out laughing, the moment too funny and best of all it was relived with my best friends.

[sortofshea]

On the 7th day of @hprecfest this fandom gave to me...

Day 7: the best of your OTP

Title: Turn by Saras_Girl

Pairing: Draco x Harry

Explicit | 306.7k words

Summary: One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Why I recommend it:

This prompt is so insanely hard, I started looking for a fic to fill it yesterday ago and still haven't completely settled on one. I'm just banking on filling some of the other prompts with more of my absolute favorites, so for now, let's dive into the one I've chosen.

After much deliberation, I went with Turn and this post is about to turn into an essay so get ready.

This fic takes place almost 20 years after the end of the war. Harry is married to Ginny and they have three beautiful children together, but both Ginny and Harry have become rather disillusioned with their lives. Harry hasn't admitted it to himself yet, but he hates his job as an Auror. Ginny had quit playing professional quidditch when the kids came along and also resents her job at Gringotts. They have both become weary and exhausted people going through the motions. Ginny is always angry or annoyed and they haven't had sex in god only knows how long. Neither of them have wanted to.

Harry takes a rather melancholy walk down to a nearby pub one night when he should be sleeping. He winds up getting sozzled with a weird old man who tells him some cryptic things and then sends him on his way home for the night.

The next morning, Harry wakes up in an unfamiliar bed that he shares with none other than Draco Malfoy. Having woken up in an alternate universe would have been jarring enough as it is, but now Harry has to rapidly adjust to the apparent fact that he has been co-habitating with a man he hasn't seen in more than a decade and never exactly had warm and fuzzy feelings about.

Harry spends the next few months in this alternate version of reality trying to figure out what choice he had made in this world - and not made in his own - that had led to this unlikely pairing. He also begins to get to know this alternate version of himself who seems to be happier and more fulfilled than he himself is, with no one to confide in except for Ginny and Blaise's non-existant (in his universe) daughter. In this version of reality, Harry has become a craftsman. He works with wood and dabbles with other materials like glass, crafting furniture and trinkets for the wizarding public, and Harry rapidly finds himself out of his depth trying to keep up with strange commissions and run his apparent shop.

He finds himself slowly falling into a comfortable routine and acclimating to this new version of reality. He begins to understand this other version of himself's relationship with Draco and starts to fall in love with him as well. Just as he is truly beginning to feel settled and content in this version of reality, he is sent back to his own on the morning after that fateful night at the pub.

The next few months consist of Ginny and Harry accepting that their relationship had ended a long time ago and working out the details of their divorce. Harry sets out on a quest to find the fulfillment and happiness that his other self had and winds up in Diagon Alley at the location that his shop had been in the other universe. After taking a leap of faith and quitting the Aurors, he purchases the workshop and sets to work reshaping his life.

He also takes it upon himself to find Draco, who it had also been announced in the papers, was undergoing a divorce from his wife, Astoria. This version of Draco Malfoy is different from the one he had gotten to know in that alternate universe. He is less happy, less outgoing, and vibrant. Draco is world-weary and initially skeptical of Harry's intentions, coming back into his life out of the blue. Their friendship develops gradually and Harry finds himself once again falling in love with the man he is getting to know all over again.

Around both of their individual divorces and learning to navigate their relationships with their children - who are doing their own adjusting to the new reality of their parents' separations - Draco and Harry are out of their depth and come to lean on one another. Their transition into DracoandHarry is slow and halting, but unavoidable.

I adore older, adult drarry and seeing how Ryu portrays them post-canon epilogue is so satisfying. Everyone feels so perfectly in character and the way that events unfold makes sense and feels so natural. Draco is endearingly neurotic in this one and I personally loved his need for symmetry because my headcanon Draco Malfoy may be poised and self-satisfied, but beneath it all, he's undeniably a weirdo. Harry is so patient and understanding with him, it makes my heart squeeze.

I will never stop returning to this fic. It's beautiful and melancholy and hurts just enough but doesn't utterly shatter your heart on the way to the comfort. If the 300k+ word count is daunting, there is a lovely podfic version by @mab-speaks that I listened to when I was otherwise unable to read the fic myself, if that's more your speed.

[dark-elf-writes]

Still thinking about the Astoria/HP crossover particularly if/when Harry goes to Hogwarts and after being around H.E.R.A. for so long he is just casually wrecking Voldemort’s plans without even really trying. Like it’s not his fault that he knows what Aura feels like and can point it out. Like just

Harry: *pointing at sorcerers stone* mom that’s an artifact

MC: You’re right it is. Let me talk to Dumbledore about how we properly contain this none of which include a school

- A year later -

Harry: *pointing at Tom Riddles diary in Ginny’s cauldron* that’s not an artifact but it feels like one

Alex: I will be taking that for containment. Lord Malfoy would you like to comment on how that got there

Lucius, sporting a black eye and handcuffed after his fight with Arthur that MC stopped: … no. No I would not.

—

Just Harry who grew up about godly power and monsters and Voldemort who for the not quite life of him cannot pull one over on one (1) single preteen