#he has never been in a relationship and i dont think he ever will

[mymoshangthoughts]

cumplane thoughts: (lots of nsfw LOL)

airplane in shen yuan's lap, cockwarming for him while he writes and shen yuan looks over his shoulder, sharply criticizing his writing

shen yuan using his advanced knowledge of pidw to wifeplot the fuck out of airplane (its not his fault that airplane doesnt remember that flower is an aphrodisiac or this cave is the "ohno now we have to get married!" cave. really, it was irresponsible of airplane to forget such things and this was the forgone conclusion of that hack author being so forgetful)

cucumber and airplane being enemies online, but crushing on each other irl without knowing about the online handles (classmates? workmates? that cute guy i see on the train?)

shen twins au where shen yuan notices that disciple shang is kinda sus and investigates (thinking that its bc of the mobei jun thing and now that he's grown up in this world he's sort of invested in NOT having demons attack his sect-mates), but the more he gets to know the skittish disciple, the more he's sorta catching feelings and this is a problem! bc shang qinghua is gonna be a traitor! ....but is he really? sure, qinghua is a lil asshole, but he's not really the bloodthirsty type? maybe with some proper guidance from his shixiong he'll turn out better? no, jiu-ge, i am not being naive and no i dont think my dick cures evil, its not like that! it's just that--why are you calling him my boyfriend?! I SAID IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, JIU-GE!

cumplane frenemies since their school days and current roommates. shen "i'm not gay so the sex isnt gay" yuan and shang "you're not fooling anyone but sure" qinghua. they're just 'friends' according to shen yuan. it's 'no homo sex' apparently. shang qinghua is fine with this, he is, his stupid boyfriend might have the most internalized homophobia in the world but like... they live together and shen yuan is mostly nice to him and they've been together for years and this is something real, right? except shen yuan's mom starts pressuring him to "finally settle down and marry a nice girl" so shen yuan is talking about it and the sinking realization finally hits shang qinghua that shen yuan never really considered their relationship to be a real thing. thats... fine... this is fine... he'll be fine. he is not fine. nope. not one bit. and he is not gonna be the bigger man about this. fuck. no. he is absolutely going to fucking destroy that stupid piece of shit EX boyfriend who never deserved him!! he is going to avenge himself and ruin shen yuan's life and he is going to be super shitty about it! but first, he's going to run away from home and cry with a tub of ice-cream bc wow that is the most painful breakup he's ever had haha. except after shang qinghua disappears and leaves behind a "fuck you, i want a divorce" note, shen yuan looks for him and asks friends and gets dressed down for being an idiot and also realizes oh fuck he actually totally was in love with his not-boyfriend and now he has to win back a very vengeful and very bitter shang qinghua, who also knows all of his weaknesses and darkest secrets

cumplane sex where cucumber is struggling to comprehend just how fucking shameless airplane is. that man can ride his dick while moaning pathetically and then still look cucumber in the face and smile while asking for round five and cucumber knew that airplane wrote porn, cucumber READ that porn, but nothing quite prepared him for just how horny and sexually expressive airplane is. SHEN YUAN'S THIN FACE WAS NOT READY FOR THIS SHIT

shang twins au: the shang twins have been pretending to be one person, for vaguely evil reasons, and shen yuan notices solely bc he Is A Very Observant and Smart Person and it's not at all because he's memorized the pattern of airplane's freckles or anything gay like that, nope, that's not it at all!

cucumber starts talking to one of airplanes various troll alts that he uses to stir up drama and airplane replies, fully intending to further agitate one of his loudest anti-fans except.... they just kinda... keep talking? and airplane is really enjoying himself? and they're taking it to the dms and now they're kinda friends and shit, it's bad if cucumber finds out he's airplane, right? the entire basis of their friendship is a lie then. which is totally fine, haha, this friendship prolly won't last long. except it totally does and now theres like irl meetings and cucumber is Fucking Handsome and that isn't fair AT ALL bc now airplane has a crush on his (best??)friend and ohwow, cucumber can srsly NEVER learn abt his identity as the author. cucumber is a super bitter and grudge holding person but also he HATES the author and airplane rreeeallly likes having someone who kinda likes him in his life aND OHFUCK IS THAT CUCUMBER LOOKING AT HIS PHONE!?

shen yuan making airplane endure Every Single sex position that he wrote those poor wives in the harem having to endure. partially to make a point of "that CANT be possible", partially bc he's still annoyed at the hack writing, and partially bc it's rrreeeeeaallly nice to see airplane fucked out of his mind like that

airplane accidentally wife-plots himself and cucumber is a good bro about it and fucks away the fuck-or-die pollen. except now he's accidentally gotten airplane addicted to his dick??? bc now airplane is seeking him out constantly. was there something else in that fuck-or-die pollen? bc airplane is acting weird. was there some freaky love potion or something? ahh, it's really hard to think of the answer when he wakes up to the peak lord of an ding sucking his dick

airplane accidentally gets transformed into a magical beast and before he can find his way back to humanity, he gets beaten up and hauled off by liu qingge to be presented as a gift to shen yuan. which oki, fine, maybe he can communicate to his bro. but shen yuan is really nice to him when he's in this form (like a hamster monster) and wow, he never knew how much he really liked shen yuan being nice to him??? maybe he should just let it be for a bit longer??

shen yuan, recently trasnmigrated into the body of an ice demon, does not know what to do about the sobbing an ding disciple clinging to his thigh and begging for his life (bc i refuse to kill off mobei jun, this is a body swap au and now mobei jun has to live in modern day china as shen yuan LOL)

cucumber decides that he likes airplane best when he's too fucked out of his mind to keep talking shit. also, on a related note, airplane decides he likes when cucumber talks shit when they're in bed the most. does he have a degradation kink? he might have a degradation kink.

sugar baby airplane and his very grumpy sugar daddy shen yuan. yes, airplane is spoiled rotten, but he also has a strict writing schedule and his harshest critic tormenting him in bed. but ohwell, shen yuan also nags him to eat properly and makes sure that he does and the kitchen is always stocked and sometimes shen yuan just pulls him into a hug and rests his chin against airplane's head and yeah, he can live with sometimes getting fucked while cucumber growls in his ear "that was a shit chapter, you completely forgot the continuity from chapter 24 and now you created a big stupid plothole with the most interesting monster you made--". its a good life

airplane first meets shen yuan as a coworker. he's a rich trust-fund baby type who has impeccable fashion and a poser attitude. clearly a thin face and probably boring as fuck. airplane meets shen yuan for the second time at a convention while signing autographs, dressed in binghe-merch and clearly Way Too Invested. and airplane immediately thinks the gap moe is AMAZING. he's gonna have so much fucking fun with this. especially since airplane was wearing cosplay and his coworker didn't recognize him >:D

[breathinginsulfur]

(Opinion) stolas hate is based on fandom misinterpretations and not the actual show because when the fuck does he act like a “baby”??

Stolas is probably the most over-hated character in all of helluva boss. And some of the downright incorrect statements i’ve seen about stolitz drive me insane

Despite his childhood abuse, neglect and forced marriage, stolas has always been privileged. He’s set for life with wealth, has butlers and staff who feed him and care for him, and can freely travel through the human realm with no legal issues. Obviously, he’s going to have a skewed perspective on life.

Because of his forced marriage and parental neglect, stolas has never really known what love is meant to be. His father didn’t know his name because he’s a king who has a shit ton of children. Stella never loved him, and he never loved stella. They were only married to have an heir. Stolas has an over-dramatized and romanticized interpretation of love, which i think is where the ‘baby’ misinterpretation roots from. Blitzo didn’t want to fuck him, all he wanted was the grimoire. But stolas didn’t realize this and genuinely believed that his first ever friend was the one who wanted him the most. Can you see how this would fuel his romantic dreams further?

Stolas, to me, was always in love with blitzo. And (hot take incoming) did not look down on him. “But charlie, what about when he said ___?” We can go through all the quotes that supposedly look down on blitzo and i can give my reasoning as to why i dont think he sees him as lesser. Stolas has grown up with imps his whole life (butlers), and it can be argued that these staff had a closer connection to him than his own family. He’s taught to view imps as lesser, as in the hierarchy they literally are, but stolas has no issue with interacting with imps and, of course, letting an imp have intercourse with him. If stolas truly looked down on imps the way people act like he does, he’d interact with blitzo in a COMPLETELY different way. As in, he wouldn’t even treat blitzo like a human. Stolas loves blitzo so much he want to be his partner.

I will say, Hierarchy is a major theme in helluva boss with several callouts to how the ones who are higher up mistreat the lower class. Just look at mastermind. Satan doesn’t let blitzo speak. But andrealphus is allowed to talk as long as he wants. Blitzo would’ve been killed for using the grimoire, but stolas just gets a punishment. Because verbatim “your life has actual value!” It’s such an interesting theme that does not nearly get as much praise as it deserves

Another huge misinterpretation with helluva boss i see is that people think the show is trying to normalize cheating. And i’ll be honest, i can kind of see how this misinterpretation happens. As much as i adore this show, there are some writing flaws.

In my opinion, helluva boss is not trying to encourage cheating on your partners. It’s trying to show you that it’s okay to leave your abusive relationships to better your life. I may talk about this a different time because this post is mainly about stolas but god i love analyzing this show so much i just go on so many tangents.

Of course, stolas’ love for blitzo pisses of Stella. Not because stella actually loves stolas, but because she is proud to be a goetia and wants to uphold her royal, priviliged status and sees stolas as an insult to the goetic line. Her and Andrealphus’s motivation is to uphold goetia standards no matter how corrupt they truly are. They’re rich people. THEY are the ones who see imps as lesser.

THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I CAN GO INTO. How this affects Octavia and why she is justifiably upset at stolas, blitzo’s perspective, themes of the show, etc. if you wanna see my takes on these things LMK!!! I love this show dearly

If you want to counter my interpretation you’re welcome to do so, however please only do it if you’re wanting to do an actual discussion and not just trying to be rude. Some of y’all are so fucking rude to the people who like the show it’s crazy. Just be respectful and i’ll talk to you.

[buwheal]

BEACH OUTFIT 💥💥💥💥

He used to surf the web back in 98'.

[jrueships]

r u the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u buy whatever little thing u want as an adult and struggle with saving for the big mandatory thing,

or the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u just never buy anything small bcs u had to learn to live without it and constantly try to save for the next big thing in 500 yrs

[guinevereslancelot]

just got kissed for the first time in over a decade 😵‍💫

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[spaciebabie]

does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.

[skunkes]

what they dont tell you about being incredibly introspective is that you'll think you're done making realizations and then you'll just make more realizations always all the time forever

[arolesbianism]

Finally fixating on some nugget relationships that aren't horrible for everyone I love friendship <3

[girlcrushau]

[phantajam]

my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)

[angelstrawbabie420]

hmm i think i am not coping. very well

[thebirdandhersong]

But where do I put all this love? It's inside of me, growing and festering and threatening to explode out of me. Who do I give it to now? Where does it go? Where does it go to fade away? Where does it go to die a quiet death? There isn't a pair of familiar hands to receive it anymore, and no longer a welcoming mailbox waiting with its mouth open. Where does it all go and where should I put it? Who do I love now, the way I loved that boy?

[defensivelee]

ok fine poison from habbinz hoteel is a six lives! marly song but specifically the live version on viv's channel

[guinevereslancelot]

i wish i had never been born but other than that i'm taking things well i think ❤️

[zemnarihah]

btw i think i may be attempting to enter into a long distance relationship w erik.