#if i do smthing. i have to see it thru. & it has to have multi purpose | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jrueships · 4 months ago

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r u the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u buy whatever little thing u want as an adult and struggle with saving for the big mandatory thing,

or the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u just never buy anything small bcs u had to learn to live without it and constantly try to save for the next big thing in 500 yrs

#everyones been asking what i wanted for my bday and i always say nothing #like i hate the feeling of getting somebody smthing just to get them smthing like personally #it needs to come from the heart for me. if it's for smthing big like a bday #now like getting someone a coffee judt to get them one on a random day is dif bcs it's just smthin random on a random day i can understand #but idk like as a kid into adulthood the only bday my relatives / guardians have ever celebrated was my adopted brother's n my dad's #the dad bcs hes a hyperconservative dictator lol n the older adopted bro is cus hes got higher needs #so everybody gets more money taking care of him n stuff so u gotta act like u care abt him according to the guardians #but like i never even knew bdays were that big to people. like i mean i know OTHER PEOPLES bdays are big to them #i find ppl who rlly love their bdays to be rlly cute. like i dont think theyre selfish or make fun of em cus theyre judt having fun #n like u only get one x yr bday so have fun with it!!#but for ME? my bday was never anything special n i dont think it is now #everybody feels bad or smthing for me or for not getting me nothing today but it's like?? this is the norm??? im cool with it #ive been thinking abt other stuff like i just dont have time to think abt the pleasures rn. i have to double on the pain or smthing #like my friends always laugh abt how i dont drink coffee/tea or alcohol bcs u cant be in the medical field without a lil smn smn #& it's like idk ! i like ppl that do do that kinda stuff but like! i never grew up with that & it just feels odd to do it now kinda thing #idk im very cheap but also i will use the fact that im cheap on the small stuff to justify wanting to make a big purchase #i have a weird relationship with buying things for myself vs for others like 4 others i will buy watever u want bro #sugar papi ted #hey heres this idk insert raccoon bracelet bcs u like raccoons n love wearing bracelets so i thot of u n bought it #but if i buy smthing for me it has to have a dual purpose or smthing #i got to have a free dessert today n chose the churros over the tres leches cake slicr cus u can judt make the cake #but i dont own a deep fryer so i cant make churros n storebought churros just arent the same #like im just always idk comparing or needing to know the use of things yanno #if i do smthing. i have to see it thru. & it has to have multi purpose #i mean just look at my username jrue ships or jrue's hips like #im unwell when it comes to that #idk is anyone else like this #anyways yea this whole new thing of getting stuff on one day is hard for me like it just never matches up with my time #of course ill see stuff id like to have but like. ill just make myself forget it n by the time stuff like this rolls up it's like idk #i COULD get a new laptop but i got one that works just fine. i got an ipad on its last legs but can i still turn it on? alright

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