#hope i never experience that again
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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.
#spacie spoinks#bruh#like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk#''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing#like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like#a week and that was like the worst week of my life#i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP#HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche#the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid#also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr#idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again#ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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BOO!
oh sorry….come in…..hello…welcome to my halloween party ^_^ feel free to take a piece of candy and a goodie bag before you go okay? have a fun (and nostalgic) halloween season!!
#seems like many people related to this i hope some of yall click the og post now <3#originally this post said i dont need therapy i need to be 8 years old at halloween again#kora.txt#gritting my teeth white knuckle gripping the edge of the table. Yeah No Its Fine.#the things i will never experience again haunt me…#8 is arbitrary. anything before like. 15. would work.
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Follow up to my "israel called a nuclear bomb to strike gaza" post...
Remember the ant-walking alligator people?
If Isreal strikes Gaza, Palestine with a nuclear bomb, then history will repeat itself.
We cannot let humans become ant walking alligators again.
We can not let Israel nuke Palistine.
Fuck Minister Netanyahu, fuck Isreal and fuck everyone supporting Isreal.
#free palestine#free gaza#strike for palestine#palestine#gaza#fuck isreal#i hope everyone who supports isreal never experiences happiness in their lives ever again.#they dont deserve happiness.
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time for school! who are you gonna spend your time with? 📝
#LORD#THIS ART TOOK ME OUT SO BAD WHY DID I DECIDE IT WAS A GOOD TIME TO EXPERIMENT WITH MY STYLE#i call it...semi chibi. or whateve#but!#woohooo!!! finally drew the other school lis proper!#i cant be blythe pilled all the time#i hope i can get across how i interpreted these dudes with how i draw em. esp the eyes#sydney isnt fully corrupted but hes getting there. hes just loose and free now#anyways. never make me draw kylar and whitney again. sorry kylar and whitney fans.#dol#degrees of lewdity#dol pc#degrees of lewdity pc#blythe the scrapper#robin the orphan#sydney the faithful#sydney the fallen#whitney the bully#kylar the loner#i have some more ideas but. later. god later#zero's art
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RULES OF BEING OTHERKIN #1
Being authentic and true to yourself is the only way you are 'supposed to be/act like' (insert entity). If anyone else disagrees it only tells you about them.
#going to start a small 'series' where I document stuff I learn that is otherkin specific. This is for myself as well as anyone who might#be struggling with things I used to/am working on(otherkin specific). hopefully this will reduce any mental pitfalls other otherkin may#fall into as they explore their identity and help out someone.#this 'rule' took a LONG time to fully understand and grasp. for the longest time I would consciously or subconsciously#think I was less Loki if I did or was something 'Loki would never do. until i realized I do exactly and experience exactly what Loki does#and experiences because...Im literally Loki. (talking about incarnations here). I felt pressured to be a certain way because 'Loki would#never (insert). being aroace is on of them. i tried to convince myself I wasn't aroace#and when I finally ran out of reasons i felt i was 'less Loki' because mythologically hes like the opposite. but Loki IS aroace. because#Im Loki. and Im aroace. so loki is SUPPOSED to be aroace because Im loki and im being exactly how loki is being. because im loki. being#myself. therefore being exactly like Loki. again - incarnation.#anyway....if anyone else struggles with this I hope this helps someone. its a really sucky place to be in honestly.#godkin#deitykin#alterhuman#otherkin#divinekin#nonhuman#alterbeing#therian#I think I will be learning a LOT more as I keep exploring and I will note down any 'rules' I learn - more like lessons but rules personally#sound more right for me. rules i will live by (yknow unless i find out im wrong but...im going to trust myself more and right now i feel#like this rule is true. so im using it as such unless i find out im wrong in future.
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GIVE SERIZAWA HIS CURLS BACK!!!!
#myart#art#artists on tumblr#artist#doodle#digital art#mp100#mob psycho#mob psycho 100#mob psycho fanart#mp fanart#mp100 fanart#mob psycho 100 serizawa#mp100 serizawa#mob psycho serizawa#serizawa katsuya#katsuya serizawa#ignore if i never draw him like this again im really inconsistent.#im just experimenting so i may not draw him exactly like this later dont get ur hopes up. but hes so hot like this i wont liee!!#im abouta get freaky rn#hes got that look because hes seen the things ive said about him#sorry kitten...#i mean serizawa.
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im gonna start posting fanfic recs btw whenever i find good ones. both here and my (awfully barren) 18+ account. because there are so many good fics out there with so few hits and fewer kudos and sometimes no comments period and it SUCKS because i REALLY LIKE THEM A LOT.. and i hope that by linking them here and yelling at everyone to COMMENT DAMMIT they might actually do it
seriously though any comment means a lot. most people who read a fic don’t even give a kudos. even if the fic wasn’t top tier, if you didn’t dislike it, hand over some kudos!! and if you liked it, comment!!!! even if the comment is one singular heart emoji it will be appreciated. if the comment just says “great fic!” the author will be happy. your comment doesn’t have to be this long winded gushing or analysis.
so many authors quit writing or lose motivation because the comments are few and far in between or just sometimes nonexistent. trust me when i say authors don’t care about how long or cool or smart sounding your comment is i promise!!!
i hope that mmmaybe recommending fics and telling people to comment might help fics i really like get more support maybe. and i, points at you reading this, hope that you will listen!!!at least a little….at least sum kudos….
#if u have the ability to reply to my reblog saying how much you loved the fic i recommended comment on the fic itself so the author can see!#especially since the rise of ai writing and seeing ai fics out there can be disheartening#make sure you let your writers know you appreciate them#you never know they might one day write a sequel bc your comment touched them#or might get the motivation to make more works.#(but don’t just comment bc you expect something out of it btw. sometimes the author might be too intimidated to reply ive seen that before)#im a huge yapper. if you can’t tell. lmfao.#and i mostly comment on guest. like 99% of the time because the fics are either really embarrassing#or i get nervous about them knowing me/finding my tumblr and thinking im cringw#bc i admire authors so much. and I get that nervousness! given I experience it!!! but guest mode EXISTS!!! most work allows you to comment#on guest mode!! the author CANT see the email you use for it!!! the only reason they even ask is to give you notifs if theres a reply to it!#a comment is still a comment even if on guest or an alt or your main#even if the fic is embarrassing shameful depraved smut you can log out and comment on guest. even if it’s embarrassing#because the author still worked HARD. it’s so hard to write. people don’t give enough credit to fic authors who do it for free#i had an account (now super abandoned) that had over 400k words. and that didn’t include wips#i reallg do struggle to write because i took a break for so long!!! i can write but not nearly as much as I used to!!! and it sucks!!!#support your authors guys. 1k words is an hour for the first draft at MINIMUM and another hour for revision and editing. and people get#pissy if a fic chapter is less than 3-4k words for some reason. that’s 6-8 hours of work at MINIMUM. likely so much more because there’s#also plotting and brainstorming and So. Much. Editing. stressing out over words and sentence structure. it takes so much time out of your#day. the only oneshot i have posted on this account is 2460 words. and it took me SEVEN HOURS#seven hours!!!! that’s a lot!!!! and for authors that have school or demanding jobs that kind of time is hard to come by!!!!!#and I hope i have convinced at least one of you to listen and go okay you know what. i will. because even if it’s a silly comment it’s loved#tldr support your local fanfic authors of you will be so stabbed. by me#fanfiction#fanfic#archive of our own#ao3#comment on fics#wick fic recs#that’s the rec tag btw. wow custom tags AGAIN i know. im doing what i thought i never would
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#you#...#you...#Congrats with surviving... I hope it wasn't too bad...#We had something similar last year#We live in a kind of a distant village#And our streets are connected to one heating system#And it was so cold last year that this station just broke#Me and my sister have been without water electricity and heat first day *giggle* It was funny to wear 2 complects of cloths and jacket#It was... like... -14 inside of home? *giggle*#On the second day we at least got electricity back and got a little heater (We were separated from parents so the have been calling 3#times per day XDD) We closed all doors to not let the heat outside#Since we got sick and couldn't take a shower#We were able to go to school but we looked like shit XDD#Then we were lying next 2 days like potatoes in one room with a heater... it felt awful XDD#They couldn't fix the main heating system for almost 3 days#It was... funny.... never want to experience the same again and hope you will not too
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28 October / I think it’s gonna be okay guys !
#IM GONNA REGRET POSTING MY INSANELY SLEEP DEPRIVED MUG#but this way y’all can experience the glow up with me over the next 4 months#plus only like 7 of y’all will see this atp anywayaasss so im still faceless on my Main heheheeeee#Btw my hair is naturally curly and I swear the shitty fringe I cut the other day looks better on my curly hair LMAO#but I randomly straightened it today#also usually have a septum piercing but I’m going through a phase where I want it gone LolLl it’ll b back likely#it’s literally still in my nose rn just hiding#proof I went outside !!#october#24 DAYS LEFT BEING 24 TOMORROW HELP#idk y I thought posting face reveal gonna make y’all hate me but oh well#probs bc I been in my flop era too long and im projectingg#also period rn makin me feel so gross but idgaf imma try get back into life#ahahahahahaahaha y m I posting my crusty ass rn idk im silly#also the more I look at these pics the more I hated myself so I’m never gonna look again LOLol#someone make me quit yappin arghhhkfbthtn#ily#hope ur day is slaying#YAKULTII
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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love seeing your takes on mouthwashing and how sane they are. everything's so black or white. I like how you acknowledge curlys abuse under jimmy (which I honestly didn't quite notice when I first watched a playthrough. should rewatch w this in mind) and how that very much doesn't "forgive" his inaction towards Anya and Her abuse under jimmy. I think what happens to him despite all his issues (bc he clearly wasn't OK 😊✌🏼) is very much karmic. I really did hurt huh
I hate the take that what happened to him is karmic as becoming disabled and being tortured is like not in any way an equal consequence for not taking more action against Jimmy. It is a consequence as is the whole game for everyone but it’s one that is very much established as being undeserved and extreme as everyone else’s but Jimmy’s fate.
Thank you for liking my takes but I also try to point out that this exact sort of framing of the events and what happened to Curly is bad especially if you are gonna factor in his own abuse into the equation of his inaction/ineffective acts. It’s like “saying yeah he deserved the abuse he was already going through to escalate because he didn’t do enough” which is like not a message the game tries to deliver at all. It’s like the game shows that abusers escalate
Karma and punishment are not concepts that I think should be directly tied to Curly’s fate especially since during the game and even in discussion he takes on too many consequences of someone else’s actions. Like this framing is the direct thing I describe taking the discussion away from Jimmy, P.E and the factors that created the environment in the first place.
#Maybe I’m just a bleeding heart for fictional characters that suffer but the fandom has a weird attachment to retribution#as if retribution is not a damning desire in the game like the game is about what happens when you#lack the capability to try and do better or go back on it and that is about all of them but mainly Jimmy and how it intensifies#the suffering of those around him like not saying Curly is excused but the think pieces about Curly make on whether he deserved it make it#sound like he was some empty headed dolt that didn’t know women faced oppression or had any issues of his own#and that he needed to be humbled to understand as if his toxic relationship with Jimmy is not an aspect in the forefront and his apathy in#life like becoming disabled isn’t karma yes his condition parallel Anya’s feeling but it’s also reveals all the way Jimmy was already#treating him poorly and how it got worse now that he had more power over him like again he harasses Anya still but noticed he takes out most#of his frustration on Curly now like idk what more I can say#I hate the idea someone deserves to be disabled and go through such a brutal experience comments like that are weird#like this is not an argument of Curly suffered too with Anya it is they are both suffering at all points with Jimmy#and it is not at all helpful to any conversation to try to scale and compare both their experiences against each other#but rather how they both reacted to Jimmy and how it affected how they handled/viewed everything pre and post crash#like I hope this hurts is likely a comment on the whole system that allowed it all to happen not specifically about any character or what#they did like it never did not hurt that’s the point none of the choices made felt good for anyone like sorry this is not about you anon#just the general sentiment of post crash curly and deserving cause by the logic people use then Swansea deserved to watch Daisuke suffer and#have to kill him because he didn’t kill Jimmy or support Anya better like it’s crazy to me#like yes represents him not being able to do more anymore but it is again pointed out to be unfair because of what resources they had#like he suffers due to P.Es restriction even when it comes to his care because they under supply them despite how long and dangerous#and isolating and short staffed their jobs are.#got a little heated sorry anon I just think the idea someone needs to suffer for what Jimmy did outside of Jimmy makes me mad#mainly because it’s never like realistic or just or acknowledges the facets of abuse#mouthwashing#ask#anon#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing
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Nando being silly in S2E2 of his doc 🥺
#well...i wrote tags for this and queued it and yet it didnt post at all and was back in my drafts w no tags#tumblr never ceases to amaze me!#i wrote tags at like 4 am so i have no memory#and i dont realtl wanna write them again so I hope this vid speaks for itself#tho i will say:#i guess i find it cute how soft spoken and polite and silly he is in all these#i think its funny to see a 'celebrity' experience the same awkwardness of covid times#like when hes just awkwardly standing there and staring as his bag gets disinfected#and like seeing him w service workers and he tries to be somewhat serious and then cant help but be silly#THE SINGING PART IS THE BEST OKAY.#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#we do a little bit of f1#fernando(show)#fernando s2e2
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just thought of stamps treatment of elendira again ..no .. NOO
#what the hell did she ever do to them#i saw a twt abt trigun stargaze (?) stamp s2 (?)#and how its 2 yrs after season one and i first got sad bc i was hoping for her og design revival#but then i remembered they made her a CHILD????#& not even that but the ?? what was it . changed her into a half plant prototype ?#canonical trans woman changed into child laboratory experiment like what compelled you to do that.why#no i cant even think ab it too much or i legitimately get upset HELPP#LIKE SHES ONE OF MY FVAORITE CHARACTERS EVER AND THEY RUINED WUITE LITERALLY EVERYTHING THAT I LOVED ABT HER#ugh.xAIHHGGHJHG#elendira#sometimes i wish . soo hard that i could j be normal and like things and have fun#but im such a stickler abt consistency w characters and stories such that any deviation makes me like .no#i cant deal w it HELPPP we need to adhere by character bibles again . we need to maintain the general chronological order of events#wlfwood characterization is a mess across the board and introducing late stage concepts / characters / plot devices early#just messes w the story in irreparable ways imo😭#yess ‘stamp was never meant to be max’ i get it .. but 98 accomplished what stmp couldnt#with 16% the published og materialHELP#all of this AND u made legato ugly as fuck LIKEE GIVE ME SOMETHINGG.? rem too omg..
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the 5 stages of grief are for losers only. being delusional rocks
#fandom#dnd#if i live in a land of illusion eventually it will manifest. i never stop winning#''that's 3 failed death saving throws.'' not to me it's not!#the typical critical role watching experince#molly's dead. he's alive again! he's dead again. he's alive again!! all because i NEVER GAVE UP HOPE#staying in the denial/bargaining stage until i die#i say desperately hoping gojo comes back#hey at least it paid off for nobara#paid off like nothing has ever paid off before this is actually so insane#anyways this post is technically about jjk but also every fandom death experience ever#jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk leaks#jujutsu kaisen#nobara kugisaki#critical role#mollymauk tealeaf#the mighty nein#andis thought geyser
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DARK THUNDER ⚡️: 6/6 PAGES
#sin scribbles#bloodborne#hunter oc#good hunter#hunter bloodborne#good hunter bloodborne#(HAPPY HALLOWEEN YALL I FINISHED THIS MINI COMIC LOL)#(again lmao not as polished as altar bc altar is enough of a time sink as is)#(but i hope you still enjoy this little glimpse into aloyshas story hhhhhhhh.....)#(also say hi to the new boys!!!!)#(tldr aloysha is not what she seems and the clergy knows it)#(her brother however likes to pretend that isnt the case despite being part of the clergy himself)#(whether thats to protect his sister or his own best interests is another story)#(church hunter rurik though sees right through him 👀)#(THIS WAS A FUN EXPERIMENT I NEVER DO INKING STUFF not since one of my first bb fanarts omg)
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I tried :']
#welcome home#kayaks dumb doodles#eddie dear#the orange looks like a potato but. i couldnt make it bright orange#first time doing something like this#remind me to never go into capcut blind again#that was. an experience#hi to people to read tags :>#how are you guys?#i just watched ghost stories :]#it was really funny#i havent been as active on here-#twitter brainrot has seeped its way into my life#uhh so thats me lately#sorry for rambling idk why i am#hope anyone reading is having a nice day <3!
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