#guys sorting out having a chronic disability

[mars-ipan]

was super overwhelmed earlier trying to schedule out my meds bc i have 6 new prescriptions plus my standard home meds i’m trying to keep track of. took a nap which helped and i’m less freaked out now but i am for sure still waugh frazzled

[arliedraws]

All this anti-Remus talk is making me like him even more 😂

I love that he’s a character who is so fixated on image and how he comes off. He’s such a cold person! Detached! Won’t form close bonds! Like…his loving parents fucked him up by keeping him away from all other children until Hogwarts. I love how this plays into his character again and again and again.

I put the rest under the cut because it gets a bit tangential, but whatever, I was feeling a bit heated.

I feel like Remus doesn’t actually know how to make friends—he has let everyone come to him. James and Sirius formed their little group, and Remus has always been in awe of what friends will do FOR him. What did Remus do for his friends? Maybe Remus learns how to accept love, but he is not very good at giving it back.

It’s so interesting to me that Remus doesn’t become Harry’s go-to even after they spent hours together. Harry allows Remus to see his most vulnerable side, and Remus doesn’t reciprocate even after the truth comes out. At the very least, he could write Harry. He could visit Harry in the summer.

But I actually LOVE this about Remus. I love that he’s written as a warm, inviting sort of person when he’s actually someone who is terrified of forming close bonds. No one is allowed to see the real Lupin, and once someone has seen a part of himself he doesn’t like, he immediately detaches himself and disappears. Remus wants to appear in control of himself because he is concerned more about his image than doing the right thing. At the end of PoA, I’m sure he’s upset that he nearly killed Harry and co, obviously, but more importantly, he’s embarrassed that he lost control. If he really cared about the safety of students, he would have revealed Sirius’s disguise to Dumbledore as soon as Sirius escaped Azkaban.

The point of his character is “what you see on the surface is not necessarily what lies below.” It’s one of the most salient themes of PoA.

Anyway, it’s uncomfortable! So many people want to make Remus a “model of marginalization” - who, depending on the fanon, falls on one end of the spectrum which is “ohhhh poor disabled guy :((( he can’t do anything because he’s a pathetic baby” or “look how hot and tall and rational and intelligent he is despite his poverty/disability!!!!”

It’s SO INFANTILIZING. I don’t think Remus is a bad guy or a good guy—I think that his particularly negative character traits are a result of prejudice towards his condition, his upbringing, and his internalized prejudice towards werewolves. So I am not saying he’s a complete asshole. Obviously. My point, though, is that he has friends who support him in school, particularly James, who break the law and risk torture prison (and bodily harm from a werewolf) to support him.* And Remus…he does not do much to reciprocate that sort of love. The very least he can do for James is to check in on Harry (he doesn’t even need to say hi—just literally see that he’s ok!). James risked his life for Remus, and Remus won’t risk Dumbledore’s disapproval to reciprocate.

He continually does the LEAST for Harry. Harry has to beg him to teach him the Patronus Charm. And when Harry is clearly craving his parents’ voices as they’re dying, Remus doesn’t even offer a nugget of “ohhhh, gosh, Harry, let’s give you some good stories about your dad, ok?”

This is a cold, broken man who has convinced himself that being alone is safe because you can never be rejected. This is Remus’s greatest fear. He’s the teacher that needs to be liked but he hides behind professionalism when it suits him. His “nice guy” traits are a fucking ACT. I want people to explore more about his negative traits! He blames his condition when people get too close, and when people manage to climb his walls to try to get close to him, he pushes them away.

Chronic illness does not make you a good person—it just makes life harder. Remus accepts love and support from his friends—and yes, they SHOULD give him love and support because this is what we owe each other, but Remus also owes his friends love and support. It’ll look different from how James, Sirius, and Peter can support him, but you don’t get to just take from your friends without giving back. Your friends are not there to be your mommy. Sometimes, you’ll go through periods where your friends are holding you up and you just need to accept that they don’t resent you for it, but if you’re willing to accept help, you’d better be willing to return it later. As someone who has a few people in their life who take and take and give little in return, I can tell you, it starts to feel like your only purpose is to carry them on your shoulders. And man, it’s fucking exhausting. Sometimes I need to be carried too.

I have no idea how Remus behaved at Hogwarts regarding his friends on a day to day basis because Harry never sees evidence of this, but we see him as an adult who is unwilling to support his friend’s orphaned kid in ANY meaningful way…unless Harry begs him. In the end, Remus is still an autonomous adult and Harry is a child in need. In this situation, at the bare minimum, Remus has the power to pick up a pen and write.

So why don’t we see this more in fic? You all know I’m a Sirius stan, but I am CONSTANTLY critiquing Sirius’s relationship with masculinity. Sirius is my favorite character, and I LOVE exploring the uncomfortable parts of him—he’s cold when he perceives that he has been emasculated, even belittling Harry when he’s insulted. He’ll put himself in danger to protect Harry when all Harry really wants is for Sirius to be there for him (which Sirius can’t do in OotP). These are the bits that make me queasy—and I love exploring them!

Why not explore the ugly parts of Remus? You say you want interesting, well-rounded characters with chronic illness/disabilities/neurodivergence? Then let them be interesting. Make them complicated and embrace the icky parts of them. If you want, explore how society has created a cold, sad, wet noodle Remus and then GIVE HIM A PATH TO GROWTH. Like… if you don’t like these parts, give him scenarios so he can grow and become a better person.

Anyway, stop fucking throwing around words like “ableism” when you hear something you don’t like about a character. You don’t know the real person behind their username. Most of us here have some sort of disability/neurodivergence/chronic illness, etc, so stop fucking assuming we’re Chad Abled-Bodied or Karen Neurotypical, ffs.

It’s fucking insulting and infantilizing that we can’t discuss complexity in characters who are marginalized in their society. By excusing all of their less than cute actions, you’re essentially saying, “This is not a full human being with a full range of emotion and flaws—they are a perfect little baby who doesn’t deserve reproach, who can do whatever he wants!”

But that’s just me, I guess.

—

* (Also, side note, Moony the werewolf could have very well killed any one of them. Additionally, the theory that Moony couldn’t hurt them in Animagus form was ONLY A THEORY. It might not have worked at ALL and they risked their lives to test it.)

[hellyeahsickaf]

Low Spoons and Hygiene

Sometimes being disabled means struggling with hygiene and that can be embarrassing, even though it's not your fault or a reflection of you as a person. Nobody wants to be stinky or feel dirty, especially when a lot of illnesses and disabilities can entail symptoms like excessive sweating that can make the issue of struggling with hygiene a million times worse.

But smelling bad is the least of your worries, as poor hygiene can lead to things like skin infections. Bacteria and fungi like hanging around in stagnant, often damp areas that collect sweat. And most people have folds- even if just a little, which can be the ideal habitat for dangerous microorganisms. Not changing your underwear/bra or washing your body for an extended period can lead to things like jock itch, intertrigo, yeast infections, athlete's foot, UTIs (anyone can get one and they can spread to the kidneys within days or even hours- and you need those little guys!), all sorts of complications. The existence of foul or sometimes even a slightly "sweet" odor on your body or even in your urine tends to indicate the existence of bacteria (it's why armpits stink) or fungi like candida. Dental hygiene is equally important- an infected tooth or excessive cavities can be bad news. If you experience these things or struggle to regularly care for your body, it's not something to be ashamed of. All of those complications can and do happen to people who do everything right.

Note that issues like UTIs or dental infections don't tend to just go away on their own and need to be treated as urgently as possible.

However, I'll share some things that may prevent or remedy issues like infections and odor that's gotten out of hand and hopefully some may find this list helpful in some way. Any products I've listed may be found at other retailers or at different prices, they're just examples. Feel free to add on to it.

The bare minimum is always better than nothing. Brushing with just a dry toothbrush, using disposable body wipes or a washcloth/sponge instead of a shower, dry shampoo (the sprays are actually pretty bad for you, I'd stay away from those if possible), leave in conditioner, also whole body deodorant is a thing. If the most you can do is change your clothes- hell even just change your bra and/or underwear, it can be the one thing between you and an awful infection.

If infections are a concern, like if say you suffer from chronic UTIs or yeast infections it's advisable to wear breathable cotton underwear.

If you can't get up to brush your teeth or struggle to do so, it may be helpful to purchase disposable toothbrushes. These ones have floss picks attached.

Flossing is just as, if not more important than brushing. If you only have the energy to floss on some days, do that. If you need to keep floss picks and a place to dispose of them near your bed, then that's fine (just don't let it pile on without disposing of it and create a biohazard). it can help remove food particles that help create a breeding ground for bacteria. Also gently moving in and out between your teeth with slight movement if needed is ideal, don't roughly saw across your gums, ouch.

If you struggle with wiping say due to mobility issues, there are products for this. Wiping back to front as an alternative risks yeast infections and UTIs. It's a very common cause of these diseases due to bacteria like e-coli. We do not want that.

Crashing and can't wash your sheets? Out of shirts with no energy to do the laundry today? Antimicrobial fabric spray may help with the odor and bacteria that accumulates on fabric as a temporary fix until you can properly wash it. Try not to wear clothing or interact with fabrics like blankets and couches that are still wet from the spray, as that can irritate the skin.

Try to avoid "feminine wash" products if possible, you don't need the fancy Summer's Eve premium strawberry hibiscus blush scented whatever, it can fuck up your PH and kill good bacteria despite claims to do otherwise. Same with PH wipes. It's recommended not to use soap on your genitalia, especially scented and especially if you have a vagina. If you must use some sort of soap, dermatologists typically recommend the most basic, unscented wash. And do not put it in your body by any means.

Rinse free shower sponges have been a life saver for me, especially the ones that also work as shampoo (it's probably not color safe tho). You just add water, lather, and make sure you dry off well. If it helps you determine how much to buy, I normally find myself using maybe 3-5 sponges each time.

OTC jock itch cream can work for some fungal infections on the body not limited to jock itch but if you see no difference or worsening within a few days of using it, consult a dermatologist as you may need something different or stronger.

Unscented pads and tampons are best and should be changed every 4 hours or so ideally. Never leave a tampon in for over 8 hours. Despite common fears, 9 hours won't give you toxic shock syndrome, that normally takes a few days and is quite rare with tampons but that doesn't mean that 13 hours or something is good or safe. I've just heard some say that sex ed scared them away from tampons after being told stories of TSS. I hear that menstrual cups are also a great alternative that many don't consider.

Monistat and similar yeast infection products often come with different options like 3 day treatment, 5 day treatment, 7 day. I know you want to feel better ASAP, but just take into account that 3 day will be highly concentrated and can cause more burning than the 7 day. Longer treatment may also be more effective in some cases. Penile yeast infections exist as well. Just be aware that some products are more potent than others regardless of birth sex. Antifungals in general may cause itching and/or burning, which some are more sensitive to than others or may even find triggering in cases where it must be applied to the genitalia.

Hydrocortisone cream is your best friend if you're experiencing itchiness due to things like skin infections, contact dermatitis, yeast infections, etc. But please don't use it to mask the symptoms of an infection without treating it.

How frequently you need to wash your hair varies by hair type. This can vary between every 2 days for some and every 1-2 weeks for coily and textured hair. Make sure you look into what is ideal for your hair type. And again on days where you cannot wash, disposable sponges and dry shampoo can be a life saver.

If something is discolored, odorous, itchy, inflamed, bumpy, producing moisture, warm to the touch, oozy, weepy, splotchy, sticky, burning/painful, it may likely be an infection or in some cases an allergic reaction. Familiarize yourself with what different skin infections and diseases may look like on your skin tone. Ringworm and other fungal infections for instance may appear red or pink on fair or lighter brown skin, but on darker skin may appear gray or darker brown.

Fungal infections are also super fucking contagious. To other parts of your body, other people, even to pets. Wash your hands well with antibacterial soap, especially before and after applying any topical treatment or touching the area in any way. After a shower, PAT the infected area dry and do not reuse that towel or use on other parts of the body.

Invest in a shower chair if you feel it may help you, it's one of the best things I've ever bought. I didn't want to get one at first because it felt like I was "giving in" to my disability more and more but that's the internalized ableism talking. Get the shower chair.

A bar to help you stand from the toilet/tub/shower chair may also be helpful.

Again, feel free to add to the list if you want!

[psychomusic]

fuck it let's ask tumblr.

I'm trying to create a jedi character that, during the clone wars, can't join the fight. i need some reason that can make him not go to war But! he must be able to go on smaller mission for his research.

I've gathered some reasons but i feel meh about many of these and some are just. quite terrible honestly. here are some of them - if you have any idea or opinion please tell me!! even about those below here, it'd help me sort out how i feel about them.

i initially thought of a disability but idk why i can't come up with something that would make a jedi incapable of sustaining a war. like. blindness? chirrut fights well and isn't even a fully trained jedi. limbs missing of course not. then i thought chronic pain could do but I'm still not 100% sure about that. seems like the best option tho (my brother suggested narcolepsy but that's a no because I'm gonna place the guy in a killik hive at some point and that'd be too dangerous).

for a moment, i thought. he's just old? but at the same time. wasn't dooku like. 80 in rots?? i mean i can age him up even more but he's still going to have to go on missions and he can't be a kind of tera synube type of character for some of them. but. that's not a super terrible idea, i might use it.

a mental obstacle like a ptsd. BUT in the stories he collects (sometimes even experiencing it firsthand through a guided meditation) there are some wars going on and that would complicate things a bit too much since he's only the vessel through which the many stories are told.

i always wanted a voss in tcw era!! i thought maybe the mystics proclaimed that the voss couldn't get involved in a war for n years and that's it. but it sounds stupid

last one is also stupid probably but. maybe he is of a species that just can't fight. like. idk. a tree - i know some exists! i may find one that fits all the criteria. but idk. i think most species that can physically move enough to do small impervious missions would be suited for a war, too.

IDK AAAAAA I'm running out of ideas

[thefandomlesbian]

So no pressure at all not to answer if you don’t want to. Just if you do know…

*could* House still have his leg amputated? Would it help?

Initial disclaimer: I am not a doctor and I don't claim to be, any misconceptions are my own!

So we know that amputation was originally on the table in 1999/2000 when House initially had his infarction and then brought back into the limelight in 2011 when he committed bathtub butchery. But outside of those two acute incidents, could he have an amputation in the interim?

It's sort of a multipronged question because amputations, particularly above knee amputations (AKA) are pretty involved, risky surgeries. There's a lot of significant vasculature in the thigh that can be difficult to control. The femur in the thigh is the strongest bone in the human body, breaking a healthy adult femur is the equivalent of cracking concrete. Contrary to what House says when he claims surgeons are going to err on the side of "caution" and take his leg to protect themselves from complications, there are a lot of risks involved in taking a ~70 lb limb from the body. Patients after an AKA are 4x more likely to suffer a cardiac event. It's not just about preserving function if at all possible (though that is a concern). AKA is lower risk than, say, allowing a necrotic muscle to continue to rot inside the body, but if a healthy person with a mobility device walks into a surgeon's office and says, "I would like to have my leg amputated because of chronic pain," many surgeons are resoundingly going to say no.

That is especially complicated by House having had an infarction, a blood clot. Muscular infarctions are rare and almost exclusively happen in diabetics, so for House to have had one as a nondiabetic man in his late 30s/early 40s, he probably has something unusual going on in his blood to cause atypical clotting factors. He should be taking bloodthinners to prevent another infarction from occurring. By definition, that makes him a higher risk patient for any surgeon--he comes off the bloodthinners for surgery, putting him at risk for another infarction, or he doesn't and he's now at risk for hemorrhage.

Add to the equation that House is American in the world run by insurance--no insurance company is going to approve an amputation in a guy who's walking with a cane. Some would probably try to slide it by as a cosmetic/elective surgery to escape any financial responsibility, so he'd be looking at around $50,000 out the gate for surgery alone.

But the question will it help? is one that... really can't be answered. Again, contrary to what the canon displays, phantom limb pain is seldom easily fixed and can become chronic, plus the physiology is extremely poorly understood, so it's much more difficult to treat than standard acute or chronic pain. There's a pretty good chance that, with time and healing after amputation, House would have a fairly normal, pain-free existence, given he'll always be disabled and he'll face the struggles of using a prosthetic/walker/crutches/whatever mobility aid he chooses. There's also a chance that he could continue to live in chronic pain, now less treatable, while healing a surgical incision and learning how to walk again. It could fall either way. (And potential complications, ie a second infarction, cardiac event, no limitations, there's a lot to work with.)

All of that said--this is just in terms of my experience and limited knowledge. I think amputee!House is something that should be explored more often in fandom, from all sides of the equation (1999, 2011, favorable outcomes, unfavorable outcomes). It's worth mentioning that within the scope of the House MD universe, House does believe that he would be a happier person in less pain if he had had his leg amputated.

In terms of fanworks, anything goes! (I mean I literally wrote a soliloquy on how/why Wilson's cancer is considered terminal while simultaneously writing my WilsonLives!AU, so it's safe to say we should all be comfortable hurling realism in the toilet for the sake of Fix It FanFiction.) There are no rules, medicine as we know it doesn't exist, you can do Whatever You Want for the sake of the narrative.

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

hmmm. You know. I think Brain could’ve been really interesting as a disabled character

I’ve made a post before with the concept of him being visually impaired, and others in the khux community have thought about this kinda thing before with Brain (and other characters) too! With some thought, I think him having some type of physical disability could make sense in canon, and would have been really cool disabled keyblade wielder rep

Here we have this keyblade wielder who rarely ever summons his keyblade (by extension, being someone who doesn’t fight often, but can fight nevertheless since it’s practically required for anybody living in Daybreak Town) and isn’t questioned when he designates himself as the member of the group who stays in the base. He’s good with tech and crafting and research, yes. But maybe he also can’t be out in the field for too long, and feels more comfortable contributing where he can sit when he needs to and doesn’t need to exert too much physical effort on a day to day basis.

In fact, this is the guy who’s sitting down in like 75% of his cutscenes. This is the same guy whose walk animation tends to look a bit slower as well, like when he arrives at his seat at the same time as Ven even though Ven’s was farther away. Plus he’s the only one to hold onto the table as he takes a seat, maybe to steady himself (seen below)

This is the guy who says “Thought I’d be the last to arrive. Guess I’m not so lazy after all.” in one of his first scenes. With the lens of disability, I like to interpret that as him making an offhand joke or expressing a bit of self-deprecating humour for being physically slower in general, or both. And it’s quite interesting, because even though he says that, almost everything Brain does after this scene shows that he’s incredibly hardworking and determined. He doesn’t give himself enough credit, or he’s playing things close to the chest, or he’s matured into someone who strives to do better.

Maybe he has chronic pain. Maybe he’d be an ambulatory wheelchair user, and/or a cane user. Making all sorts of cool mechanical additions to them, and finding ways to make the Daybreak tower more accessible (he’s a big fan of the gear elevators!)

I dunno, I’m starting to ramble here. tl;dr I just think it would’ve been so awesome to have disabled rep with Brain, and in kh in general. If anything, khux allows us to say that keyblade wielders come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and that should include disabled wielders as well

[softmeetscreatureplz]

ALRIGHT. HERES ANLITTLE EXCERPT FROM A ONESHOT I NEVER FINISHED!!!!

FOR @bsd-disability-week-2024 DISABILITY BSD WEEK (DAY 1: PHYSICAL DISABILITY) - Chuuya Nakahara with Chronic Pain!!!!

(Edit; Yes I just remembered Chronic illness is technically also a day. I will either post another thing or swap them for what I post shhh)

------

Chuuya had first started dealing with- this, a long time ago. Before he'd met Dazai, before he'd even escaped the lab.

The aching, shooting jolts of pain, that spread from his fingertips up his arms, and ate away at his lowered back. When he'd been younger, it'd terrified him. The amount of pain- striking at random seeming, going from dull, easily ignorable things to something that left him in tears and unable to move properly.

He'd ended up filled with experimental drugs from the scientists- handlers there- and for the most part it disappeared.

Then Chuuya had gotten out- living on the streets alone before being found by sheep. For the most part, the pain became dull. Something tiring, that stung every once in awhile, but manageable. He ignored it, keeping his hands hidden and warm in his pockets and protecting his back well in fights. The careful control kept the pain at bay somehow, and helped keep himself in control of Arahabaki.

Until he was fifteen. He met an asshole of a guy- Dazai Osamu. And, he fucking sucked. He was rude, lazy, worked for the PM, annoyed Chuuya, insulted his height, and didn't know how to shut up.

Chuuya hated him. With an absolute, burning passion.

Any sort of fondness there he blamed on his exceedingly poor taste in men. Nothing serious. Nope.

But, then they were working together; and Chuuya took his hands out of his pockets, and they worked together to beat Rimbaud. Dazais hands were warm- and his grip added pressure and Chuuya tried very very hard not to let on how relieved he was that he wasn't worse.

Joining the Port Mafia was- weird.

Weird and different as strange. He got gloves, which meant he didn't have a real reason to keep his hands in his pockets.

He did it anyway.

His hands ached dully, and trying to do both his and Dazais paperwork almost made him want to say fuck it and spree, his back and hands flaring up. He pushed through it, using the fact that Dazai and the others knew he hadn't received a real education to let himself be a bit more messy.

He still didn't tell anyone. He was fairly sure Ane-san had caught onto the fact that something was up, the way he sometimes shied away from picking up his tea and hid his hands more than usual when they met up. She didn't press.

Chuuya still didn't know what was happening other than this, but the more he tried to hide it the more sure he was that no one else here felt the same. He refused to be weak and let it get to him.

Storm bringer- happened. He got electrocuted, and beaten in a fight, and used Corruption. His friends died. He wasn't human.

When they got home, Chuuya hid himself away in his apartment. His arms felt like they were on fire, still being electrocuted. His back screamed at him, aching and stabbing, and he was exhausted. He didn't know how to do this. The redhead lay in bed for ages, pained and mourning. It felt like he had aged years in that time.

The silent tears on his pillows were left unnoticed, and forgotten.

No one tried to disturb him. His phone was left abandoned, the buttons too much to handle.

Eventually, his pain eased. Worse than the dull ache it had been, but manageable. He'd been gone too long anyways. He forced himself up. Chuuya was starting to hate this, just a little bit.

If he had to be not human, why did he have to get a body that hurt too?

[cayenne-twilight]

I think I’ve brought something like this up a long time ago, but I’ve always had this headcanon that Flora has some sort of disability or something that causes people to infantilize her.

Her dad has a bunch of robots built so she’ll always have guaranteed friends who’ll treat her nicely, people who can’t get her sick or do anything against their programming. He gives her an isolated tower to live in when he dies, and puts his inheritance behind a treasure hunt to make sure someone else will come look after her, so she’ll never have to work a job or live alone outside the village.

When Layton kinda “adopts” her, he tries to leave her behind on adventures. He says he’s worried about her safety, but then, why is it okay for Luke to come with him? He behaves like looking after Flora takes more work mentally than looking after Luke, which could just be because of her lack of life experience, but what if he doesn’t want her to start having symptoms of something while they’re out?

They both treat her like she’s very fragile and younger than she probably is. I don’t have a specific condition in mind really, it could be anything from autoimmune problems, chronic illness, a developmental disability, neurodivergency, mental illness, whatever. I just think something like that would recontextualize the many moments when people treat her differently from others. What do you guys think? Does anyone have similar headcanons?

[our-death-means-flag]

IDK IF U REQUESTED THIS ALREADY OR NOT SO BEAR WITH ME (I FORGET TOO EASILY). izzy hands x disabled reader. reader has leg problems due to nerve damage (maybe iz knew reader before the accident in which they acquired those permanent injuries) basically they’re raiding a ship and fighting and the readers good at tolerating the pain throughout but after the fight they sort of just collapse because of the pain and everything goes a little hazy. izzy is so malewife coded like i can just imagine the genuine stress he would go through not being able to help his s/o / bf during a fight or through their pain.

Routine

Ship: Izzy Hands x Reader Notes: Usually, you can manage your pain pretty well but not always, luckily, you have one angry small man to help. I feel like you guys know me! As someone who also has chronic leg pain, I appreciate this request! (PS: anon, you did request this already but I decided to answer this one since this time you said Izzy was malewife coded and it made me chuckle.) ((PPS: also incorporated another anon’s request for chronic pain cuddles with Izzy! Two for one! ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ )) Warnings: reader passes out, talk about pain

It was strange to think that pain could become routine. Logically, it made sense. Of course you’d get used to it. Though, logic be damned, you weren’t sure how you felt about it being so routine. 

Despite how routine it all was for you at this point, it was inevitable that you’d slip up.

The raid hadn’t been anything unusual. Your run of the mill raid. But you’d been hurting all day. Maybe you’d done something to aggravate your leg or maybe you’d just gotten unlucky. Past a certain extent, it didn’t matter.  You weren’t a novice to raids by any means. Though, raids with the Revenge crew were different. You knew most of the crew wasn’t exactly skilled in combat. They were trying but… You knew that you’d have to work more. And that was fine. You actually liked this ridiculous crew (which was far more than you could say about most other crews you’d been with) so you didn’t mind picking up the slack. 

But there was only so much slack you could hold before you crumbled.

The adrenaline rush from fighting was enough to dull the pain but, as you leaned against the railing, barely able to listen to Stede’s ridiculous ending speech, that adrenaline was wearing thin.

You tightened your grip on the railing. Deep breathes. You tried your damndest to distract yourself without much success. The pain was slowly but surely eating up more and more of your thoughts. You tried to focus on breathing. You clenched your eyes shut, your grip tightening on the railing. Your head was spinning. You couldn’t hear anything, not Stede, not the ocean, not any of the crew. Shit. It was getting really hard to focus on much of anything really.

So much so that you didn’t even realize you were falling until your knees hit the deck. Which of course, sent a pang of pain across your body. You managed to muffle the way you almost screamed but that meant you’d let go of the railing. You fully expected to slam into the deck but instead you hit something softer. You groaned in pain as you felt the world move around you as you were pulled into someone’s arms. 

Not being on your feet helped the pain enough that you could actually think somewhat by which time you realized that you were lying on the cot in your and Izzy’s room. And Izzy was yelling. 

“THEY’RE CLEARLY NOT FOCKIN’ FINE! THEY PASSED OUT!” Izzy stood between you and the crew as he yelled at Roach who was looking thoroughly unimpressed. Izzy paused to take a breath and you managed to move an arm and grab his wrist.

“Iz… Love… I’m okay.” Your words were still a little slurred. 

Izzy seemed to completely abandon his plans of yelling at Roach and spun around so he could see you. “You are not okay! You fockin’ passed out!” Izzy somehow managed to sound simultaneously like he was yelling and whispering. 

“It's just my leg, Iz. Hurts.” You managed as another pang of pain stole your lungs. “Fuck…”

You spotted Roach dip out of the room with a mouthed ‘Good luck’

Izzy didn’t seem relieved. “You’re lying down for the rest of the day.” He hissed, clearly still rattled.

“Izzy…” 

“Not up for fockin’ debate…” He mumbled. “You’ve been working too hard…” 

You chuckled breathily, “You’re one to talk. Besides… gotta protect the crew…”

“I’m going to make those idiots take fockin’ sparring lessons, I swear it.” Izzy almost snarled as he curled his hand around yours. 

“Don’t bully them, love.”

“I just…” Izzy started. You could tell from the conflicted look on his face that he was trying to figure out how to turn emotions into words. You waited, giving him all the time he needed, thumb rubbing across his hand. “I want to help you. And I can’t. And I don’t know what to do” His voice cracked. “I want to do something.”

You sighed. “You’re doing a lot just by being here.” Careful of your leg, you scootched back on the cot. “Lie down with me.”

“I have to-” Izzy softly protested.

“Fang ‘n Ivan can handle it. Please?” The second the word ‘please’ left your lips you and Izzy both knew he wouldn’t be leaving.

With a sigh, Izzy pulled off his boots and his leathers leaving himself in just his shirt and underclothes. He moved so carefully as he got in bed beside you, watching your face for the tiniest hint of pain. You couldn’t help but smile at the softness of it all. As soon as he was properly lying down, you didn’t hesitate to curl up resting your head against his chest. 

Your leg still hurt of course, but lying in Izzy’s arms did make you feel better.

Bit of a shorter one today but I hope you enjoy!

[decepti-thots]

rodimus for the 5 headcanons game :D

Rodimus' mods are damaging/risky enough he has given himself a certain amount of difficult-to-repair longterm damage using them repeatedly. He once tried to persuade Ratchet that a very good solution to his minor-to-moderate accumulating chronic pain issue would be to have Ratchet disable most of his pain sensors, because listen that would be really useful in combat situations, and Ratchet was. Not impressed. By this suggestion.

Rodimus is privately kind of freaked out by realising that Minimus became Magnus at some point after Rodimus met 'him'. He didn't have that much to do with Minimus' direct predecessor, but said predecessor was the Magnus that he met circa The Nyon Stuff, and it's just very weird and sort of uncomfortable if he actually thinks about the fact he didn't notice.

Prior to Getaway doing All That, Rodimus didn't dislike him. He had no real reason to; in fact he figured the guy was pretty cool mostly, if a bit sarky sometimes (he could not resist making comments about the rodpod, but let's be real: everyone definitely thought that was ridiculous). Getaway made a decent effort to not piss Rodimus off because doing so would potentially make Rodimus, who is very fucking petty, pay wayyy too much attention to what Getaway was doing.

He would never admit it, but he REALLY wants Ratchet to like him. More than pretty much anyone else, Ratchet respecting him as captain would be a vote of confidence, because Ratchet is broadly uninterested in a lot of the interpersonal neurosis that plagues most of the rest of the crew. (This does not help the unacknowledged weirdness of the Drift-Ratchet-Rodimus dynamic as it evolves one bit.)

One of the reasons Rodimus is so distrustful of Megatron not lying about his change of heart (as though he needed any more, lol, but) is that he overheard what Megatron said during Chaos Theory. Which Megatron doesn't realise until Rodimus brings it up in an argument and it's INCREDIBLY mortifying, at which point Rodimus realises how embarrassing he finds it and is immediately like 'new favourite conversation ender'. This lasts fully months before the sheen wears off, probably.

[new0bsessionss]

I wish more diehard Captain America fans realized and acknowledged that Steve Rogers' backstory is a eugenist wet dream.

First of all, Steve wasn't picked because he was special, he was picked cause he was disabled and willing to throw his life away for others. The Captain America movie reinforced this multiple times by mentioning how Steve tried to enlist but was rejected due to his chronic illnesses. Do you know how bad your disability has to be for THE UNITED STATES MILITARY to reject you during a time where people of color, women and children were enlisted???? And even when he lied to get they were thinking about kicking him out until this moment.

Where he straight up proves that he is willing and able to put other's lives above his own. And most importantly that he knows nothing about proper protocol cause if we get down to it, the Super Soldiers Program was borderline if not straight up illegal which is why they were so sneaky about it. And it was still in the testing phase.

In America there's a certain order in which dangerous stuff is tested to make sure it's cleared for the public (Aka white men).

It's a person of color, usually black.

Isaiah Bradley

Then it's a disabled person

Steve Rogers

And James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, (I picked this image in particular because this is the moment that disabled him)

Followed by a woman

Margaret "Peggy" Carter, (and I think Natasha mentioned something about how the first Black Widows were enhanced in her movie)

Followed by literally everyone else! And when Steve was on his press tour to hype up the super serum one of the selling points of it was literally that it could cure your disability and make you The White Supremacy Standard™! And it was shown through Bucky that even if it didn't cure you it would make it possible for you to have these highly invasive and painful procedures that would basically make it so it's like you're not disabled at all! Whereas a normal person wouldn't be able to undergo these procedures cause they'd literally die.

The only time they acknowledged this in the cannon was when Isaiah Bradley was talking to Sam Wilson. This is why I'm so glad he took up the mantle of Captain America without some sort of whatever that made him enhanced because every Captain America that came before him was a fucking eugenist wet dream and unlike them he's a human who rose to the ocation and he's actually standing up for the little guy.

TLDR YOU CAN PRY SAM WILSON'S CAPTAIN AMERICA FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS CAUSE EVERY OTHER RENDITION IS A FUCKING EUGENIST WET DREAM!!

[idyllic-affections]

Your platonic Baizhu fic is so heartwarming!!! Got any more thoughts on that fic???

( Also I think your fic links arent working because they send me to different fic and on chrome instead of the app. Though that might be me ahahaha)

Your amazing and don't let anyone tell you other wise! Bye bye

thoughts on chronically ill!reader.

summary. a collection of random thoughts about baizhu's junior herbalist.

trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. baizhu & reader, qiqi & reader. 0.3k words. they/them pronouns for reader. i believe the fic that this anon is talking about is invisible disability? it's rather visible to me.

author's thoughts. hello darling! thank you sm, that fic is one of my personal favorites <3 i have SO many thoughts regarding that fic. here are a few of them. feel free to ask me to expand upon anything if you find something interesting!

the implication about baizhu is that he's seeking immortality, right? yeah. i like to think that his sweet lil junior herbalist knows about that and does what little they can to help him—e.g., discreetly seeking information, whether that be through the suspiciously well-informed mr. zhongli or through foreign sources. their morals become somewhat skewed after working with baizhu for a while, but it doesn't really bother them. why would it? baizhu is soft and gentle and kind with them. they aren't afraid of him. they never will be. it's because of his attention and care that they can manage their life. this is how they're returning the favor.

changsheng and [name] ABSOLUTELY, 100% fight for his attention. they have a weird ass family dynamic going on with that snake LMAOO..... baizhu knows about this. he finds it funny.

qiqi and [name] like to wander liyue together. once they develop enough strength and endurance, they'll carry her on their hip and go wherever she directs them. sometimes, baizhu will trail after them (like a father!) and leave the pharmacy in gui's hands. bro is a single dad with two kids and all of liyue knows it.

"baizhu is a coward" not when someone threatens his kid! it's verbal assault ON SIGHT if someone does something to hurt [name]. he hasn't had any need to physically defend them yet thankfully, but he has definitely had a few choice words for certain impatient people.

sometimes baizhu lets them braid his hair after seeing them do it for qiqi a few times. it ends up becoming very normal for them to braid both his and qiqi's hair on slower days.

i hc that there's a room in the pharmacy with low sensory input (dim lighting, limited scents & sound, etc) in the case that anyone needs to rest for whatever reason; migraines, body aches, sensory overload... it's available for any reason at any time of the day. sometimes baizhu and [name] end up in there at the same time and just sit in the silence. it's a bonding ritual of sorts.

thank you for letting me know about the links. i use the tumblr website and it tends to be kind of difficult sometimes; i'll work on fixing the links shortly! in the meantime, if there's any particular fic you'd like easy access to, just send me another ask and i'll direct you to it <3

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[firespirited]

everywhere but here, I am the mom.

not the 'mom friend', not fun aunt or godmother, the big sister type you go to when you're at the end of your tether and you need a mom to clean up something nasty, kill a spider, unload on someone who can handle it and not make it about them, help you pull the trigger on a hard decision you've already taken but haven't accepted. I make things happen, I connect people, I do mediation and emotional prep; I tell people their full options and help them weigh it all up. You were pondering it for a while but you left here with a lawyer's appointment and a loan we both know is a 'pay it forward' gift. I carry the secrets and the bad memories so it makes sense you move on without me when all's well. The big sister thing means I feel like family and shelter but not really like an everyday friend

Here, I get to be Saffy, bit of a klutz, silly brained with a childlike wonder for creatures and well-designed things who can talk about fear of crowds, slowly healing the relationship with my own mum, I watch horror and post about my dog. That's who I want to be, a large facet of who I am internally buuut life rarely fits the idea we have of ourselves does it?

Part of repairing the imbalanced relationship with mum was letting her do some protective mothering so i can fill the desperate ache to have one person in the world who has my back, while making my support of her more streamlined and unspoken. You know the concept of the toilet paper fairy who makes loo roll appear and always knows when to buy more, that but for groceries, electronics and paperwork, and big decisions we carry together but it has to be very businesslike and unemotional: she's as much a big sweetheart as she is fiercely independent (and ashamed/angry her daughter had to carry half the load). So now she's the one who notices or who I go to when the world has asked me to be The Mom again.

I imagine it's a lot like gay penguins: there's an ecological vacuum of big sister-mom types and some of us just have the vibes.

This winter I've done a metric ton of non-judgmental, non-condescending temporary 'parenting' of women with parents who are gone or who can't handle it and friends who aren't friends-for-that-kinda-thing. I'm really good at it, at weathering a storm for someone and being an anchor. It doesn't hurt any more because mum can be an emotional mum to me.

but I'm never sure how to talk about it here between dolls and shitposts and if i'm not specific... I mean... "chronically ill/special needs person currently or previously in abusive relationship with parent/partner who takes a while to realize and accept abuse isn't just fists but sleep depravation and symptom minimization and all sorts of tiny things that add up to life-threatening injury to the body and mind" applies to many of us dollblr folks as it does like 80% of my social circle offline.

and there's no way of saying that being around some folks is like experiencing a slow motion train wreck without sounding like an asshole.

I am that asshole.

I am goatsed out and want to be a hermit.

Did I tell you guys my doctor vented for 45 minutes about having to put her "dumbass hysterical" sister (deaf and never put in school) into care and the paperwork involved in getting disability (the thing that took me 14 years and she got her sister's transferred in 3 weeks). and I truly empathize but that wasn't very professional and your sister is a person. please.

and I can't cut M out of my life now that her kid is, as predicted, like her (and the facebook-chosen not-yet-divorced deadbeat-dad of 3 special needs kids), an adorable barely verbal two-year-old. She won't be able to navigate special needs care alone but she's still staunchly anti-vax and had a diatribe of ableism mixed with mystical pseudoscience for me, interspersed with thanks for being more family to her than her sister in helping her know how to leave a bad relationship. hokay not making this easy.

S is going to be on the hook for tax evasion if she stays with the shady useless guy she's been babying (and resenting) for 20 years solely because she doesn't like to do activities alone. three times now I've been cornered for the vent sesh. I am sitting on the floor the next time, I need blood in my brain to emote properly. and that unneutered bulldog living in the south is a crime, it can't breathe it can't think, it's all hormones and anxiety covered in fur, of course it's a nuisance around the house.

and there's more but i'm tired of typing and thinking.

[alastorgould]

Rocket Raccoon headcannons in no particular order (here u go @subtlesurise )

Note:

-I have many more

-this takes place in my sort-of-au of the comics where Rocket is married to Lylla, has his 3 sons, and is still a member of the guardians. Let’s begin.

Plays League

Homophonic but only towards Quill

Demisexual & demiromantic

Chronic pain

Insane alcohol and drug tolerance

Super acrobatic but not flexible

Multilingual

30min+ showers

Afraid of hospitals and all med things

Autism, ODD, CPTSD, and ADHD

Can’t swim

Working on generational trauma

Pretends to not love Lylla when others are around

Loves slasher films

Mediocre at best at cooking

Sleeps gun in hand

Can plug himself into a computer to browse it like Nebula

Uses a lot of disabled slurs

Acts of service love language

Total penny pincher

All bones including teeth are metal

Neglects self care for work

Feels like Lylla is the only one who understands him

Only really hates Quill for the bit

Kleptomaniac and pathological liar

Night owl

No biological relation to a raccoon

Shoot first talk later kind of guy

Not very sensitive to others’ problems

Near immortal if parts are replaced

Has been sa’d

Past suicide attempts unsuccessful due to the fact he’s immune to too much shit

Music taste ranges from classic rock the death metal

Fav song is Feel It Still

Publicly slanders the Avengers on Twitter

Eats mangoes with hot sauce (based on a dream I had)

Refuses to take any kind of pain meds

Lets his sons paint his claws (secretly)

Night vision

Constant angry gym teacher attitude

Can never go through airport security

Could not give less of a damn when his son came out

Really hates Shocket bc she didn’t go through the same pain

Sees physical affection as a sign of weakness

Does not know what a furry is

Him and Groot are basically brothers

Doesn’t celebrate his birthday

Had an English to Spanish book with him while Lylla was in labor and when his kids were born he just flipped to a random page and named them like that (she doesn’t know)

Pirates parenting books and then doesn’t follow the advice

Seeing him outside his work area is like spotting a cryptid

His earth ID surname is ‘Rakzoon’ bc he thought raccoon just sounded too on the nose (ref to that one comic where he starts a cult and calls himself Lord Rakzoon)

Sticky note and duct tape obsession

Has no idea Blackjack hates him

Kill count in the hundreds

He’s black like how Piccolo from DBZ is black

Cat person

Doesn’t believe there’s a riotous God bc if there was it would have saved him

If y’all want part 2 or just more info on my au (which connects to my halfworldbuilding posts) just lemme know

[cupcraft]

i hate when they gaslight house about his pain. i definitely think that sometimes his physical pain is exacerbated by his stress/mental pain but that isnt something to disregard either. When hes stressed he thinks about his pain more even if it doesnt hurt any more than it did yesterday and people brush him off like it isnt a real thing. like 😭😭😭It still hurts guys

Exactly.

Like stress, anxiety, trauma, etc. are all things that can exacerbate pain and make it worse. They are things that can be caused by the pain, intersect with it, etc. It can make the pain harder to process and manage. Many things. Chronic pain and your mental state are linked but that DOES NOT mean his pain is "made up" just "psychological".

House needing therapy and addiction counseling aside, his pain is still real. It's always real. HIs pain being amplified by stress isn't fake. His pain causing stress which then causes it to be amplified in a cycle isn't fake. His pain is real and deserves to be taken seriously. Every fucking doctor in this show has no fuckign clue what chronic pain is like and it shows. They also act like House being addicted to vicodin is some moral failing when in fact like um he also does need pain management...and opiates are a form of pain management and a consequence of long term opiate pain management can be addiction which becomes a chronic illness on its own that deseves its own patience and management. People, other than fellow patients and disabled characters that also get what he's going through, see House's pain as a made up moral failing that is just his long sinister plan to be drug seeking which is just one of the most gutting parts of the show (and unfortunately a reality for how many people and the medical system treats disabled people and also addicts).

I think it becomes the most jarring when there's a narrative how many people defend Stacy's decision to break House's medical consent and autonomy, and the near sort of judgement he gets for not wanting an amputation. His decision over his body part is his own, his relationship to his leg is his own, his autonomy over wanting a prosthetic versus a leg and a cane is his own. There should be no morality assigned to what House wanted to do with his leg injury. And maybe, that morality is assigned as a sense of guilt people (especially Cuddy) have for the fact the only reason he was injured in the first place is that people gaslit him to think his pain was made up and that he was just some drug seeking individual (see the lecture episode where he talks about this especially amplified about how even the med students thought this patient who was really him was drug seeking and not having a blood clot).

There's also a way that many characters weaponize his pain, like they're trying to teach him a lesson to his "ego" and "selfishness". For example, I think to the episode where they took his parking space and made him and another disabled doctor be pit against each other. I think to how like "well technically the ADA and your accomodations says you can walk 50 feet so your new parking spot is exactly 46 feet so that means youre full of shit house!" and I think to how Cuddy was like "um being ambulatory is less disabled than non-ambulatory" which is gross and fucked up. I hate how she made him "prove" his disability by making him use a wheelchair, and I hate how she punished him for standing to save a patient's life. I hate how she was unreceptive to House being like "hey well 46feet or not you dont understand how much goes into my day planning where to walk, when I use the bathroom, when the elevator's out, etc. My whole day revolves around managing and mitgating my chronic pain" and like telling her there's more to his accomodations just being like "50 feet" because it is in fact more nuanced than that. And instead, it's again, yet another moral failing. The narrative pushed on house of "If only he amputated his leg and stopped seeking drugs he'd be so much better" versus the reality f addiction and chronic paina nd how that intersects with mental health

[charlunday]

Please share all your thoughts for Frankenstein AU.. Thank you 😊

@curiousnonny

OKAY YES!! several people asked me in the tags but I wanted an ask to answer so thank you nonny ❤️

Anyway, here are my thoughts:

I started thinking about this because it's approaching Halloween season. I was like "would he be a werewolf? A vampire? A ghost?" And then I had my genius epiphany. NO. He would NOT be any of those things. You know what he is? He's a fucking Frankenstein. (Nobody better get on me about "Frankenstein is the scientist" I will BLOCK YOU)

The whole thing of Frankenstein is feeling rejected by your creator. Feeling unwanted. Feeling like a burden, a mistake, a stupid creature. Who feels like that? Our boy Peeta

To make up for people always ignoring/ forgetting he's disabled, I have decided to make him more disabled. So not only does he have a missing leg, but he also has severe chronic pain.

I think for the purposes of this story, he was created by Dr. Gaul. For no other reason than she seems like the type to do that tbh. But! At the time the story takes place, she is long dead, kind of like in Edward Scissorhands.

So Peeta sort of has free reign over this castle, but he was conditioned into submission for so long that he stays in his old habits, like sleeping in a closet in the basement.

Also because of how big he is, he was essentially trained to fear pain instead of retaliating. Otherwise, he definitely could have snapped Gaul in half and run away.

He did try to run away! And his leg was taken away as punishment.

Anyway, on to how he meets Katniss.

He can't stay in the castle forever, and so will venture out into the woods. He'll catch things like rats and eat them raw, since his food has long run out. He does feel bad about it though.

So one rainy day he's in the woods, and so is a beautiful young huntress. But she slips on some rocks and hits her head! (Or falls from a slippery tree, whichever you prefer) And he rescues her. Takes her back to the castle, tries to help her but doesn't really know how, so he just kind of sits there until she wakes up

And when she does. Well. Obviously she is very freaked out. Starts throwing things at this huge intimidating guy in a strange castle. But instead of fighting back, he gets upset and covers his head

So like, she soon realizes that this dude is incapable of hurting a fly. He's just very fucked up

But anyway, that's really all I have. Obviously they fall in love. She teaches him more things about the world. He quickly gets attached to her, feeling things he's never felt before. Then there's the question if his feelings are even real, if he's even real, etcetera.

They're just really sweet. And he's just a gentle giant. And I love it.