#got these for mac and cheese and remembered i used to eat them for a little snack as a kid

[today-i-am-thinking-about]

kraft singles

[deadsetobsessions]

Listen, I know it’s not my usual thing, but I just re-read Dark Matter by mysterycyclone (iconic, so good, incredible, I’ve reread this at least ten times) and this newer work, Help Me, I Don’t Feel Like Myself Anymore by Astra_Nova_Kat (it’s off to a really good and fleshed out, very long start- it’s like 20k for the first chapter omg).

I just. Love?? Them??? They’re both, urg, so good. The writing style, the way the story moves, the natural progression of plot and their usage of tropes are so well done that rarely does it feel awkward. Amazing. Anyways, they inspired me to put my two cents into the proverbial offering hat and while this might not ever be a realized fanfic, here it is? This will have multiple parts.

Uh, I’m basing Peter’s personality off of the really tired millennial energy Tobey Maguire gives, the awkward but well meaning disaster vibes of Andrew Garfield, and the sassy acrobatic chaos gremlin of Tom Holland. All kind of mushed together with the hyper competence and maturity of both the PS4 spidey and pretty much most spider people. He’s 22, or something but that doesn’t really matter?? Background doesn’t really matter because I’m basically making my own spider-verse. Spider… past? Eh. New Peter!

Spider in Gotham AU- Pt.1

[Pt.2]

——

Spider-Man swung through the skyscrapers of his city, enjoying the winds and sounds of New York as he kept a sharp eye out for crime.

He remembered doing this without any of the fancy tech his suit had now, when he was dressed in less protective clothing. God, 100% cotton while crime fighting? The spandex was better but god ugly.

His spider-sense blared. Spider-man quickly shot a web to the top of the building, going towards the danger instead of away from it.

He goes in feet first, years of knocking common thugs to legitimate gods to the ground making short work of the people on the roof top. He flips out of the way, dodging a blast of crackling green energy.

“Heyyyy, common robbers! What’s up with shiny lasers, huh? Breaking and entering not doing enough for ya?”

Spider-Man dodges a couple more shots, flipping again to knee a guy in the face, gently. The man goes down in one shot.

“Stay still, you motherfucker!”

“Does that actually work for you guys?? Like I’m down to get killed but, man, I’m not gonna stay still to get downed by some two bit thugs?” Spider-Man kept his words light and mocking, webbing up a laser gun and yanking it out of the woman’s hands. He punches her in the face and knocks her out, using the laser gun like a mildly bulky baton.

“Eat shit, Spider-bitch!”

“Ouch! Oh no, my feelings! You’ve hurt them!” Spider-Man shoots a web at the lady who’d shouted and yanked, before smacking her straight down to the concrete of the rooftop. His hearing picked up two people coming up the stairway and Spider-Man tossed two web bombs, the metal mechanism attached itself to the wall, waiting for their unknowing victims.

Spider-Man ducked and weaved, downing goons as they piled on him while shooting bullets, lasers, and just charging at him with a bat or a crowbar. After eight years of pretty much this exact thing, Spider-Man had gotten the science of breaking up goon dog piles without hurting them too much to an exact measurement. He quipped at them until they got annoyed, which made them sloppy. Spider-Man sighed as another guy came at him with a crow bar and a gun that he was pretty sure was still stuck on safety. He crouched, kicking out their legs and dodging a swipe of a bat where his ribs would have been and webbed the guy to the floor. Yeah, he’ll wrap this up and end patrol. Maybe he still had Mac n’ Cheese at home, or he could stop by Angelo’s for a sub?

Huh. His options for dinner was limited.

“Take this!”

Even without the forewarning of his spidey-sense, Spider-Man would have ducked out of the way regardless.

“Shouting your sneak attacks isn’t actually all that sneaky, you know!” Spider-Man kept his voice cheery and mocking.

“Get him!”

God, why were there so many people trying to break into an insurance company? This definitely doesn’t smell like a regular B&E. With the shit he’s seen in New York, if it smells like a plot, acts like a plot, then it’s probably a villain with a tragic backstory with big, annoying plans.

Great.

Oh, speak of the devil!

“Spider-Man.” His senses blared.

He couldn’t move out of the way fast enough, not without risking the life of the goon he was currently fighting, so Spider-Man took the blast the punched the breath out of his lungs. The wide eyes of the goon made up for some of the pain.

“Ugh!” Spider-Man slammed into an HVAC, denting the metal. His suit, made special polymer blend from Wakanda that he saved for months to get, absorbed some of the shock. Shit, he hoped it didn’t tear. It would be a bitch and a half to dip into the back up stock he had in his hammer space.

The goons left standing quickly rushed him and held him down to face the new boss.

“You’ve been getting on my nerves, Spider.”

“Yeah,” Spider-Man coughed out, letting the two goons think they could hold him down on his knees as he recovered his breath. “I have that effect on people.”

“But you could be an asset, if you’d join me?”

“Uh, I don’t join or sign things without knowing what I’m joining or signing, my guy. My lawyer said so.”

The villain paused, helmeted head cocking to the side.

“You have a lawyer?”

“Yeah. Kind of? He does pro-bono work for the helpless cases. You know, like, a well meaning, crime fighting vigilante?”

“…Does he do cases against insurance companies?”

“Oh man, you too? Dude, this place sucks,” Spider-Man sighed.

“You’ve had trouble too? Then you must see why I’m doing this!”

This was a bit weird, but if there’s anything that brings people together, it’d be corrupt insurance companies. He’s almost tempted to let them break in, just to be extra petty.

“Nah, my neighbor? Sweet old lady. They’re screwing her out of her entire place. I totally get it, man. Hey, if you need a referral, you can tell my lawyer that Spider sent you. He’s real good.”

“How good?” The goons release him and Spider-Man stood up, stretching his limbs.

“Like, Dare Devil good.”

“You know Matt Murdock??”

“Sure do.”

“He… he’ll take on our cases?”

“Dang, all of you?”

“Yes. We can pool enough money to pay him for one or two.”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure he’ll take you guys on for free. But it wouldn’t hurt if you all went to meet him, just so he can decide which one of you has a higher chance to win in court?”

“We will. Uh.” The villain paused sheepishly. Well, not a villain, more like an unfortunately angry and poor decision making citizen. “Sorry about… you know, the blast.”

“It’s cool. I mean,” Spider-Man gestured to the rooftop, the bodies of unconscious people kind of laying around where he knocked them down. “You guys might wanna check on them, yeah? I’ll let you go for now, but if you commit a B&E again, I’ll leave you webbed up for GCPD to find.”

“Got it. Sorry.”

Feeling good about himself, and plotting corporate espionage, Spider-Man went to help pry some people from his webs.

And of course, because Parker Luck kicks in only when Spider-Man felt like life was looking up for himself, Spider-Man’s senses blared once more as he knelt down to pull at some webbing.

“Oh, shit!” He heard, right before a cold blast of something slammed right into his head, knocking him out.

And Spider-Man

F

E

L

L.

——

Larry looked at the the empty space where Spider-Man, the guy who took a hit from his boss’ blaster so he wouldn’t get hurt, used to be.

He twisted.

“Boss, what the fuck?!”

“Shit! That was accident!” Boss pulled herself up from the concrete, where she just ate dirt.

“Where did he go?”

“I don’t know, Larry! That was the experimental warped mode! Crap!” His boss scrambled with the controls, desperately trying to see if the magic gun her magician friend had handed her years ago had a reverse button. It didn’t.

“Why would you bring a test weapon into the field?!”

“I gave you all of my other ones!” She threw up her hands. “Fuck, I feel so bad.”

Larry paled. “Dude, Dare Devil’s gonna kill us.”

“He doesn’t kill!” His boss hesitated. “I think.”

Larry pointed to the empty space. “Yeah? He might start with us. Spidey was a cool guy and you just disappeared him!”

“I know!”

Larry buried his head into his hands and tried not to hate himself for the entire situation.

——

Spider-man woke up, laid flat on the grimy ground of an alleyway.

“Ugh. Just my luck.” He kept his eyes closed for just a beat longer to allow himself time before having to pull his shit together. Why was his voice high? And a bit squeaky? He pulled himself together.

“Okay.” He whispered to himself, before sitting up and taking stock of the situation.

First thing that hit him was that it stunk to high heavens. Gagging, Spider-Man looked to the right and- yeah, that’ll do it. He stood up on wobbly legs to try to move away from the overflowing dumpster.

That’s when the second, more important and decidedly more troublesome, observation hit him.

He’s short. Shorter. And his suit was hanging off of him.

He could tell he still had his normal by now physiology, with the speeding heartbeat and the feeling of super strength. But he’s shorter. With a mounting sense of equal parts dread and resignation, he pulled at the hidden seam by his nape, relying on his both his enhanced senses and spidey-sense to tell if anyone was nearby or looking at him. He pulled the Spider-Man suit off, blankly folding it neatly as he stared dumbly at his hands. They’re small too. Shit. He stumbled to a nearby mud puddle and stared down, seeing his younger face in the contaminated water. Double shit.

He’s starting to loose his composure. He’d gone through a lot of bizarre things over the last eight years. But getting accidentally Detective Conan’ed by a person he just helped was a new low.

The black under layer of his suit, a slash proof and fire resistant polymer Peter had designed himself in MIT’s lab, was in a similar state.

With one hand, Peter Parker numbly rolled up his sleeves and pant hems. Great. Okay. Now what?

Ah. Shoes. He did not want to walk around in his too-big Spider-Man boots. He looked around. Well, there’s the laces of what looked to be like a pair of dumpster shoes. “Yeah, no.”

Shit. Does he still have access to his hammer space?

Peter reached into his pocket, and tried to reach for a pair of normal sneakers. His shoulder slumped as he produced a pair. Fuck yes. He still has access! And shoes! They’re ones he took off of a power line for a well off kid who didn’t want it anymore. He was going to donate them to F. E. A. S. T. but he’s thanking the stars he procrastinated a bit on swinging by the center. He put them on. They’re a bit big, but it’s better than the giant-in-comparison ones he normally wears. You know, as an adult.

He hesitated with his mask. He should at least figure out where he is. He hoped it was still in the states. His mask blinked, the HUD in his lenses informing him that it was trying to find a connection. “That’s weird.” He paused, grimacing at the sound of his voice. But it is weird, because he had his mask automatically connected to the world wide satellites Tony Stark had sent circling the globe for citizens without internet access as a back up option. So either he was somewhere even the Stark Satellites couldn’t reach or…

Peter swallowed, his mask pinging as it found a connection to piggy back on. He clicked his tongue twice to activate the voice controls.

“Connect to the local maps. Where am I?”

His masked followed the order. [Gotham. New Jersey.]

Peter stared at the words, gut churning.

Good news, he was still in the States. Bad news? He’s shrunk, in a totally different state, and possibly in a different world because he’s not connected to the Stark Satellites he knew operated in New Jersey.

Peter Parker tilted his head back and allowed himself one verbal, panic level six and up, curse word.

“Fuck.”

He took off his mask and leaned against a slightly cleaner part of the wall before hyperventilating.

——

Half an hour later, Peter smacked himself on the cheeks and pulled himself together.

“You’re Spider-Man,” he hissed to himself. “Have a mental breakdown somewhere warm, you dumbass.”

Peter Parker was a champion, world class expert at compartmentalization.

He slipped his mask back on, and pulled up his “So You’re Stuck in an Alternate Universe” list he had made with Ned so many years ago when they were high school kids and going through comic books to make contingencies because Peter was a little idiot vigilante hero.

“I didn’t think I’d actually ever need this kind of thing.” Peter muttered. He slipped his black back up gloves on to connect to his mask’s display in order to type.

“Okay,” he glanced at the side by side screens in his lenses. “Money.”

Five things.

1) The emergency cash he’d stashed on him thankfull matched the pictures of cash he’d found on this world’s internet. Yay!

2) He had $1000 tucked away. Not yay. Not if this might be a long term stay before he got back to his own dimension. Not if he wanted a place to sleep.

3) Luckily, thanks to his earlier search of where the hell he was, Peter figured out that due to the high crime rates- “Dang, that’s worse than New York on New Year’s Eve,” he had marveled- Gotham was dirt cheap and that that meant 1k dollars could actually last him a while and he could afford a room for a month on $250. A whole ass apartment for $550. Peter seriously considered staying in this universe just for the rent prices. So what if there’s rampant crimes? He’d deal with it if the rent was that cheap.

4) Problem? He’s fucking tiny. Who would rent to a person that looked like child? Not anyone upstanding, that’s for sure. He’s more likely to get mugged. Counterpoint: he’s in a city where apparently shady people are all around. Also? He doesn’t have an identity.

5) If the fact that he couldn’t connect to the Stark Satellites didn’t convince him he was either in another universe or an alternate dimension, the visual graphics of the websites he visited would. It was like looking at Windows in the early way before Stark Co. bought them out and improved the design. Nauseating.

Okay, so, money’s not too urgent of an issue. Next on Ned’s list: Places of Interest.

Namely, libraries, homeless shelters, crime hotspots, and the like.

Peter snorted when he came across an opinions article talking about how Park Row became Crime Alley. And then he frowned, because that story was not painting this place to be even remotely nice. Then again, considering the crime rates and the various Rogues this place seemed to have in spades, that wasn’t much of a surprise. Peter marks the place in his new mental map of Gotham as a potential area he could either disappear to or get a new identity at. He then marked the libraries, Gotham City Public Library and its many branches all funded by generous donations from a Bruce Wayne, the Martha Wayne foundations’ shelters and charities, two supermarkets near the library, and a coffee shop he thought looked warm and cozy from the shitty pictures they have uploaded online. He needed coffee, dammit, and he needed it hours ago. Alas, he probably wouldn’t get to go to one until he secured his finances.

Well, it’s not like he doesn’t have practice being poor.

3) Which brings him up to Ned’s next, surprisingly reasonable for a teenager hoped up on a mountain load of sugar, point. Level of Tech.

Peter hid next to the dumpster, melding in with the shadows, as he continued his research.

Tech here was… well, he probably wouldn’t have to worry. The thought of not having a Starkphone, even his older model, was painful considering the new versions of these WaynePhones were really… behind. Peter doesn’t remember the last time he had buttons on his phone or let alone a touch screen that didn’t use facial tracking and biometrics or even have a holographic display mode.

“Ugh. Okay. Not the end of the world, Parker.” Peter muttered.

Now… People of Interest.

This was underlined three times with Ned’s red pens, with extensive subcategories.

Subcategory A? Villains, because “what if they put out a warning for a known villain and you get your butt kicked because you didn’t know about them, Peter? Wouldn’t that be embarrassing?”

He had replied, half focused on the list and the other on savoring the Millennium Falcon Lego set May had saved up for months to get him for his birthday, “I feel like if I was getting my butt kicked by a villain, I’d probably have better things to worry about than my utter humiliation, Ned.”

“True that,” Ned had snicked and jotted it down anyways.

And… well, Gotham had a lot of villains. The Joker (ew, that’s a crusty man in crustier face paint. This guy could learn so much from the cool mimes busking in Central Park. Like, how to do face paint. Or how not to be a massive murderous jerk. There’s Clayface, Two-Face, a bald guy in “Metropolis” (a name Peter couldn’t help but snort at because a city named city? That’s like na’an bread being bread bread. Or chai tea being tea tea) named Lex Luthor, and Scarecrow. He tabbed all of them and marked them for further perusal at a later date. From experience, he knew villains with a prominent M.O. and themes usually did more damage. Case in point: Rhino, and the million dollars of property damage the guy did everytime he escaped the Raft. Peter was seriously considering petitioning for the Raft to be placed further out just so he could have more warning the next time some assholes decided to free the prisoners and helped them escape.

He narrowed his eyes at the screen, his mask’s lenses following the movement. He’ll have to pick up a gas mask. Apparently bio-weapons are just a regular thing here and he really didn’t want to get dosed with this “fear toxin.” It’d be dangerous for everyone involved. Maybe if he gets his hands on a sample, he could build up tolerance and see how his immune system and metabolic rates affected the normal progression of the toxin. Ah, off topic. He’s gotta focus.

Subcategory B: Local celebrities.

“Why would I need to know local celebrities?” He’d asked.

“If someone came up to you and asked “Who’s Tony Stark?”, wouldn’t you clock that as super weird? You gotta blend in, Peter. Plus, you gotta keep up with the pop culture, dude. It’s important.”

“You just want alternate universe memes,” Peter grinned.

“That too. If you ever go to an alternate universe and come back, you’d better bring me a truckload of memes or I’ll never forgive you.”

Yeah. So. Wayne? Super important. Like Tony Stark levels of important. He found threads about them and the local vigilantes and their charity works. Peter’s brain instantly catalogued the info, all but memorizing the deluge of pictures he found of Bruce Wayne and his kids. Maybe the man had an adoption problem? Conspiracy threads and memes popped up alongside his research. He tabbed one on secret societies, because as Spiderman, he had fought a disturbing amount of secret societies that, on hindsight, had been theorized about on threads he’s read on his free time. Somehow, somewhere, somewhen, a conspiracy theorist could be right. Peter’s not about to dismiss that. He also saved like thirty different memes to send to Ned when he got back. If he got back.

Peter smacked that thought away. He’ll get back to his city or die trying.

Subcategory C, underlined and starred: Other Superheroes and Vigilantes.

Yeah, Peter’s excited about this one too. After Matt stopped being Dare Devil (but did he actually ever stop?) and Wade dipping in and out of NY, Peter’s gotten lonely as Spider-Man. He missed training with them. Of course, the fantastic four were still operating, but he doesn’t actually interact with them or the Avengers at all. Miles hasn’t been cleared (by his mom) to go out as Spiderman with near as many hours as Peter cleared a night. Peter stood behind that because he remembered how horrible it was to work as Spiderman and try to balance school on top of it. Also, he was terrified of Mrs. Morales and would never endanger her son more than he already does. He did wave to Black Widow from a rooftop once, spider to spider, and that was pretty much the coolest moment of his life.

So. Uh. The amount of vigilantes and heroes in this world? Amazing. In Gotham? There’s like, a whole team of them.

Batman, Nightwing (who, Username: Draken Draken had theorized, was the first iteration of Batman’s sidekick Robin), Red Hood, Black Canary, Huntress, Red Robin, Spoiler, the “day vigilante” Signal, the current Robin, and whispers of a “Black Bat.”

And their unfortunate “No Meta” rule with the singular exception of Signal. Peter figured their term of Meta was essentially the same thing as his world’s mutants. He’s not sure which term he liked more. Eh, he’ll worry about that later.

And there’s a Justice League! Which, to Peter, is just a bigger Avengers. There’s aliens on this world too. Superman. Martian Manhunter.

Peter grinned from his place crouched next to the dumpster. Yeah, this is awesome. He quickly memorized everything he could find, cross referencing posts and picking out the nuggets of truth or at least popular truth from the posts he viewed. Like, Red Hood operated in Crime Alley and was a crime boss with morals. Cool.

He’ll go down the spiral later. He mentally thanked Ned who was the best guy in the chair a teenage vigilante could ask for. He should really text his friend when he got back.

For now, he’ll head to the library and see if he could use their computers. He might need a card though… Peter quickly pulled up the search engine and found an Internet cafe. Ah, 24 hour internet cafes, the savior of his college days. There first, and then library, Peter decided. He memorized the instructions and pulled his mask off, tucking it away in the hammer space.

He walked out the alley and turned left, only to double take at his reflection in a shop window that was partially boarded up. Holy shit, he’s a baby. He’s like. 10!

Oh my god.

Peter twitched, tearing himself away from the window before the shop owner decided he was less curious and more potential mugger before promptly remembering that he looked less of a threat than ever. Mixed feelings.

Peter hurried his way to the internet cafe, paying the guy at the front a little extra so he’d ignore the obvious minor without a guardian thing Peter hasn’t gotten used to. Ugh. That was going to be annoying. He only paid for two hours and pulled up as many listings for a room as possible. By the end of it, he came out with $1 worth of fliers printed out and having funneled some billionaire’s offshore accounts into a new bank account he’d made by hacking into the bank servers. Does he feel bad about stealing? Yeah. But Peter’s a vigilante. He’s done worse than nabbing a monthly sum of a couple of hundreds from Lex Luthor’s off shore accounts. He’s not gonna get caught, and considering the guy’s rants on meta humans, Peter’s not feeling particularly guilty about it. He’ll do something good later to make up for it. Once he gets his footholds and can prepare his way back, he’ll even return to the rest of the money. Probably.

Peter left the cafe with his sheaf of flyers, stopping by an informational stand with free tourist maps and plucked one quickly from its plastic holder. He’ll pick something up from the food vendors on his way to the apartments. Peter began walking, taking in the sights of the gargoyles and-

“Nope!” He caught the wrist of a pickpocket. It’s a kid and he immediately felt bad.

“Lemme go. I ain’t done nothing to ya, ya Yorker tourist.”

“Okay,” Peter shrugged. “Don’t get caught the next time?”

The kid gaped at him. “Shi’, you must be really good at it. I’ve never been caught before.”

Peter wisely refrained from telling the kid it was due to his spidey-sense. He let go of the kid’s wrist and let a bit more of his accent out. “Why’d you need money anyways?”

“Food, duh.”

“Dude, I’m starving. Tell you what. You show me the best sub shop nearby and I’ll pay for your food. Deal?”

The kid stared at him, wide eyed. “You’re fuckin’ nuts. Why’re you being nice?”

“I’m hungry? Do we have a deal, kid?”

“… Fuck it. Fine. And don’t call me kid, shrimp. You’re like what, eight?”

Oh. Yeah. Peter’s a kid now. He shrugged.

“I’m older than you. I’m twelve.”

Peter blinked, frowning at how thin the kid’s wrists were.

“I’m Peter!”

“… Frank.”

He let Frank lead the way. Stranger danger doesn’t apply to him, he’s a grown ass man. In the body of a ten year old him, but still. A couple of minutes, four sandwiches and a load of chips later, Frank was watching wide eyed as he demolished three four dollar subs.

“Holy shit. Where are you packing that away? You’re a stick!”

Peter took a big bite of the sandwich as an answer. Frank looked down at his meal.

“Uh. Hey.”

Peter made a muffled noise of question, mouth stuffed full of steak and cheese.

“Sorry about. Uh. Trynna nick from ya.”

Peter chewed faster.

Frank continued, looking like he hated himself. “I wouldn’t… normally steal from shrimps like you but I was desperate and… really hungry, so. My bad.”

Peter finished chewing. “All good, dude. Eat your sandwich.”

Peter had the sudden urge to adopt Frank. Unlike Wayne, he’s not a billionaire, so he smacked that urge down. He could use a friend though. Now… how to be friends with a literal child!

“If you feel that bad about it, you could… be my friend?”

Peter took in the wide eyed gaze from the twelve year old in front of him. Abort! Abort! That was too direct!

“You’re fucking weird. But… okay.”

“That was easy.”

Frank scowled, kicking Peter’s shin.

“Ow!”

“Whatever, shrimp.”

Peter scowled. On his baby face, it came out as a pout.

Do not start beef with a twelve year old, Peter. You’re a grown ass adult.

“Hey, you know I’m new here, right?”

“Duh.” Frank took a bite of his food.

“Can you tell me which one of these are legit?” Peter handed Frank the flyers. He took them, an odd look passing his face.

“You’re looking for a place?”

“Yeah? Why?”

Frank stared at him. Looked back down. He instantly got rid of four listings out of the ten. “These are too close to the Alley. They’re probably traffickers.”

Peter hummed in agreement. Frank paused.

“You’re just gonna trust me on that?”

“Yeah? I can tell when people are lying.” Well, his spidey sense could, when he cared enough about the subject.

“What the fuck.” Frank shoved the rest the papers at him and guiltily munched on his food. “Are Yorkers all just like you?”

“Dunno? Probably not.”

“… Whatever. The rest of the places should work. They probably won’t ask questions.” Frank flapped a hand at Peter’s new situation. Yeah, the shortness was getting to him too.

Peter nodded. Obviously, they were the more expensive places, but considering the new found resources he’d… acquired during his time at the cafe, it doesn’t really matter.

“Cool! Wanna go see it with me?”

Frank immediately took on a suspicious glare. “Why?”

“I dunno? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought since you know your way around…”

“Ugh. Fine. But if there’s anything shady, I’m fucking dipping out.”

“Okay!” Peter grinned for the first time the couple of hours he’d been trapped in this new world.

——

They’d found an apartment with a landlord that got a weird, sad face when she was talking to them about the apartment. After like, an hour of walking around and Peter’s spidey sense screaming at him not to even go near the places Frank had left in the pile of maybe’s.

“We walked all the way here. Ya not even gonna go in?”

“The vibes are off. It’s a no.”

And because Peter’s a genius idiot with no self preservation, he’d marked the places to investigate later.

Frank had blinked at him, mildly offended and nonplussed. After a while of spluttering, he just gave up. Eventually, they got here.

“I don’t normally rent to kids,” the landlord lady said. Peter immediately liked her. “But I’ll make an exception if you’ve got the cash.”

“I’d like to see the unit first, please” Peter said. He’s not stupid, and Gotham’s renting scene is both easier and harder than New York.

They toured it. Peter? He’d seen worse. He’d lived worse. Also, it had two bedroom and was $620. Yeah, Peter was really considering just staying here full time and commuting to his New York when he wanted to be a vigilante.

“I’ll take it, ma’am.” The landlord and Frank both snorted, sharing a Gothamite look.

“It’s Georgie, to you, brat. You just need the first month’s rent, since I’ll wave the deposit for you shrimps. Utilities included. Your friend stayin’?”

“No-” Frank had started.

“Yep!” Peter beamed, interrupting his new friend.

“What?” Frank turned, gaping again at this weird little kid who had enough money to rent a place and then invited a whole ass street kid he just met to live with him. “Are you stupid?! What if I rob you? Huh? I don’t need charity!”

Peter slowly looked around the empty unit.

“Uh.”

“No, that’s not the point!” Frank pointed a finger at Peter. “That’s how you get yourself killed!”

“But that’s why you should stay! I don’t know my way around Gotham so…”

Peter looked up at Frank, using his shortness for maximum devastation. “Please?”

Georgie leaned back on the heels of her feet, silently laughing. It’s not every day she sees a Gothamite street kid get out stubborned by an outsider, but she knows better than anyone that Gotham is weak to genuine kindness. And this Peter kid, the one that reminds her so much of her own? He’s practically filled with it.

“Yeah, kid,” she said to Frank, snickering. “Look at him. He’s gonna get mugged two steps into the Alley. Or anywhere.”

Frank flailed, but eventually, Peter handed over the money to an amused Georgie who gave them two keys in return and a move in gift of a pot pie.

“I gotta. Uh. Go get my stuff.” Frank had mumbled, dazed at whatever the hell just happened.

“Okay! I’ll see if I can go get furniture!”

“And lift them with your shrimpy arm? You wish.”

“I can use a cart.”

And really, he could, because Gotham had a lot of abandoned carts laying around. Like a concerning amount.

“Can you even reach the handle?”

“I’m not that short!”

Frank snorted, Georgie’s own chuckles following a beat after. Peter scowled at them.

“Be right back,” Frank promised, holding the key like it was treasure. He had been homeless for two and a half years now, so in his eyes, that key was as good as gold. He had somewhere warm to stay. Trying to pickpocket Peter was the best mistake he’s ever made in his short life. But he didn’t want to take advantage of that, well, no, he did want to, but he doesn’t want to take the genuine kindness for granted so he’ll see if there’s any street furniture he could haul back on his way.

“Okay!”

Georgie watched him go and turned to Peter.

“If you need stuff, there’s a thrift store and a grocery store that way.” She gave him the directions.

——

As soon as Frank and Georgie left, Peter immediately left his new place (and holy shit, he really didn’t expect things to be this easy. In New York, he had to spend at least a week checking out places because he had to figure out whether the problem that cause subtle twinges with his spider sense was worth living with. Here? It’s too obvious.) to buy supplies. He had $400. Until his new card came in, at least. He’d put his new address into that bank account addressed to a “Anthony Benjamin” before ordering a “replacement card.”

Peter ran to the thrift store, hurrying before the last traces of the sun dipped below the smog of Gotham. A frankly absurd amount of blankets, towels, pillows, clothes, packaged boxers, socks and shoes around his size went into the cart. To his chagrin, Peter couldn’t actually see much over the cart. Why the hell was he such a short ten year old? He blasted through the store, also guesstimating Frank’s sizes. He tossed in curtains, a used set of glow in the dark stars, and a lamp.

He also grabbed mismatched mugs, bowls, a bundle of cutlery, and a dented microwave he casually pretended to struggle getting onto the bottom part of the cart. It’s like lifting grapes for him, but he looks like a ten year old so…

He, guiltily, bought a mildly fancy camera in a set, with two separate lenses, even if one was cracked.

Not bad, for $150 total. Peter is going to definitely seriously consider commuting to New York. They didn’t even care when he walked out with the cart! Well, that might be because of the cashier who gave him a pitying glance.

He stopped by a general store on the way back, parking his cart in a rapidly shadowy alleyway. He swung by the new section of the store that reminded him of a Dollar Tree and got cleaning supplies, toiletries, and two pans and a pot. He grabbed some canned food and a couple of frozen meals in the back. Seasonings, ramen, general pantry staples went in. A role of paper towel. Nice. Venom would have loved this store. With half of his budget blown for essentials, Peter quickly cut his spending off and

He quickly gathered his stuff and went back to the apartment, using his strength a bit to lift the full cart up the stairs at the front doors and into the elevator. It creaked like the first time they used it to go see the apartment, but it worked. Peter set everything up in the living room, pillow and blanket wise, and put everything in its proper place. The lamp was put up, giving more light than the old bulb in the ceiling light.

All Peter wanted to do was pass out, but since his dumbass took in a child, he couldn’t sleep until this place was relatively fit for a kid to live in. He also wanted to wait for

So, that’s what he did. Taking a sponge and the cleaning supplies he’d picked up earlier, Peter tackled the living room, scrubbing away at old stains and spraying mildew. He marked trouble spots- like that splinter worthy piece of floor next to the doorway leading to the hall between the bedrooms. Then the kitchen. By the time Frank cautiously peeked his head in from the front door, Peter had already finished scrubbing the over.

“Hey.”

Peter turned, grime on his face but grinning. “Hey!” I bought some stuff!”

Frank snorted at his face before glancing around the living room, eyeing the cart parked neatly on the side.

“So you did. Didn’t get mugged, did ya?”

“Rude. No, of course not.”

Frank gave him a… frankly… unimpressed look and dumped his bag next to the pile of blankets and pillows Peter had piled onto the floor. Sue hi’, they didn’t have beds yet.

“Got somethin’ for ya,” Frank said neutrally before dragging in…

“A coffee table!” Peter bounced towards Frank, hugging him before lugging in the heavy wooden table in. “You’re the best! Where’d you find it?!”

The tension, anxiety about Peter’s reaction, in Frank’s shoulders relaxed and the kid grinned. “Alley. Some asshole just left it there for anyone to hit with their car so I took it.”

“Nice! We can eat on this!”

——

When they were getting ready for bed, Peter insisting on showers for both of them, Frank had reared up at the clothes Peter bought for him. Peter pretended like he didn’t see anything and shove a whole tube of toothpaste and a new toothbrush at him.

“Ew. Do I have to?” Frank asked, wrinkling his nose but taking the items anyways.

“Yeah.” Peter said seriously. Frank gave a moment to wonder why he was taking orders from an eight year old before shrugging. He could brush his teeth in exchange for a roof over his head, food, and clothes. It’s not even a fair trade, for Peter, anyways. Frank was enough of an alley rat to take advantage of that.

——

When Frank passed out, Peter couldn’t sleep. He’s exhausted, but he couldn’t sleep.

So he took his new camera and climbed the fire escape to the roof top.

An hour later, he met his first vigilante.

“Hey, kiddo. I’m gonna need you to back away from the edge.”

“Woah!” Peter startled, jolting slightly off of the ledge he was balanced on. He twisted around to see Red Robin, hand outstretched and panicked look in his eyes.

“Dude. Warn a guy!” Peter said, even though his spider sense warned him of an approaching person that was actively watching him.

Red Robin held his hands up. “My bad. Would you- uh, not be on that ledge?”

“Yeah, sure. My bad, bro.” Peter obligingly stood up and stepped away from the ledge. Red Robin relaxed then did a double take. Peter frowned. Is there something on his face?

“What are you doing up here, kiddo? It’s late.”

Peter decided to scope out the vigilante. “Couldn’t sleep,” he held up his camera. “I’m taking pictures.”

“Oh. That’s cool! Can I see?” Red Robin approached warily, but relaxed when Peter didn’t spook and try to take a shortcut to ground floor.

“Sure! It’s a new, well, not new but new to me, camera so I haven’t had all that time to mess with the specs but the pictures turned out pretty good-”

“Oh, woah. This one’s great. That composition? Amazing. You caught the light perfectly,” Red Robin complimented. Peter brightened, knowing a photography fan when he hears one.

“Photography buddy!” He cheered.

They talked for an hour after that, but Red Robin quickly sent him to bed once he remembered the time.

“Ah, shi- crap. It’s like 2AM. You’ve gotta go to bed.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry if I interrupted your patrol, Mr. Red Robin!”

“No problem, kid.” Peter slipped back down the fire escape, not caring if the vigilante saw where he lived.

——

Up on the rooftop, Red Robin pressed a hand to his comm.

“Red Robin to Nightwing.”

“What’s up, Red?”

“Do you have a kid you don’t know about?” Tim said, bluntly.

“… What?”

“Oracle, can you share my cowl footage?”

“Copy. Oh, that kid…”

“Looks exactly like Wing?” Tim said, peering down at the empty fire escape. “Yeah. Talked like him too.”

“Oh my god, he’s adorable.” Oracle said. Tim agreed. That curly hair? Baby face? Adorable. A bean. “Did you get DNA?”

“Ah, shit, I knew I forgot something.”

“Do not break into his place and nab a hair,” Nightwing reprimanded, but his voice sounded distracted.

“Holy shit, you guys nerded out about camera placement and lighting for an hour?” Hood piped up.

“Get some rest, Red Robin. You’ve been working too hard,” Batman grunted through the comms. Awkward… but he’s been getting better at communicating his worry for his kids.

“Sure thing, B. Heading back to the main cave. Red Robin out.

——

Peter: lay low and get home

Also Peter: talks to a vigilante

None of them think Peter’s Nightwing’s yet. Peter will know before them… eventually. Once this world’s version of him gives up his memories to be absorbed by AU Peter.

[heartsforvin]

LOVE AFTER LOSS

vinnie fluff !!! hope you guys like it !!!

this might be a bit long so buckle up !!

pairing: single dad!vinnie hacker x fem!reader

warnings: lil bit of angst, purely fluff though, cussing, mentions of anxiety & depression, mentions of abandonment, use of y/n, lmk if i missed anything !!!

summary: life after his son’s mother left them has been difficult, but what happens when vinnie stumbles upon you?

vinnie had met his son’s mother two years before his son was born. they were the happiest they could be, having spent two years loving each other.

when his son wesley was born, they were both over the moon excited to become parents, even if they were younger than the average parents.

about two months into wesley’s life, his mother had struggled heavily with depression and the anxieties of being a new mother.

she couldn’t handle the pressure of motherhood, on top of the depression and anxiety, so she had written vinnie a note and decided to take off.

when vinnie read the note he was crushed, he couldn’t believe she could do this to not only him, but their son as well.

it’s been two years since then, wesley had just turned two and vinnie could not be more proud of his son.

single parenting had its ups and downs for sure, but the two were doing good for the most part, as long as they had each other vinnie knew they’d both be okay.

wesley had been talking a lot more, still not fully grasping full on sentences, but he was definitely getting there sooner rather than later.

watching his son grow and talk made vinnie more than happy. he couldn’t believe this was his life, despite everything that happened.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

vinnie was currently making lunch for his son, while wesley sat in his high chair and colored on a coloring book while he waited.

light music played as vinnie finished up making mac and cheese for his son. he got out strawberries and cut them in smaller pieces for the boy to eat.

“dada, look!” wesley exclaimed as he held up the book, smiling widely at his dad.

vinnie turned around to face his son, looking the book he was holding. “that’s great buddy! gonna have to frame it.” he told his son with a smile.

wesley’s grin didn’t falter until he watched his dad turn around again and finish plating the food.

“alright bub, mac and cheese and strawberries, just like you asked.” vinnie announced as he walked over to the high chair.

he moved the coloring book and crayons out of the way making wesley whine. “no whining wes,” he said, placing the plate on the table.

“remember what i told you if you’re good and eat all your lunch?” vinnie asked, making wesley nod as he shoved a spoonful of mac and cheese in his mouth.

vinnie smiled and grabbed a napkin to wipe his sons face. “we’ll go out for ice cream after, alright?”

wesley’s smile widened as he dropped his spoon. “okay, dada!”

vinnie laughed as he watched his son quickly scoop up mac and cheese and shove it in his mouth along with strawberries. he grabbed the spoon from his grasp.

“slow down, buddy,” vinnie chuckled as he slowly helped his son finish his food. “you don’t have to finish it all, just majority, okay?”

wesley nodded his head, cooperating as his dad helped him finish up his lunch. about five minutes later, he had told vinnie he was finished.

vinnie smiled as he grabbed the plate and stood up to wipe the rest in the garbage. “good job, bubba.” vinnie smiled at his son.

he put the plate in the sink and helped his son out of the high chair. “let’s clean you up and you can go play, okay?”

wesley nodded and walked with vinnie to the sink. vinnie lifted wesley up on the counter, grabbed a wet wash cloth and wiped the boys face clean.

“all good.” vinnie said as he helped wesley down, watching him run into the living room where all his toys were.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

a few hours later, just as vinnie promised, he took wesley out for ice cream. everything was packed up and ready to go.

the ice cream shop was only ten minutes from vinnie’s apartment, so it wasn’t too far of a drive.

once vinnie parked his car and shut off the ignition, he unbuckled wesley from his car set and closed the door once he was in his arms.

“what’cha gonna get, wes?” he asks his son as they walk to the ice cream shop.

wesley doesn’t reply, he looks up at the sky like he’s thinking, making vinnie laugh.

“what’s funny, dada?” wesley’s sweet voice is heard, making vinnie smile.

“you are buddy,” he says, tickling the boy’s tummy. “now, chocolate or strawberry?” vinnie asks as they enter the shop.

chocolate and strawberry are wesley’s favorite flavors. vinnie knows how indecisive his son can get when trying to pick between the two.

luckily, it don’t take the boy too long this time and he chose strawberry.

vinnie walks up to the counter and places the order for both of them. they wait a few minutes until they get their small bowls of the treat and go to sit down.

“how is it, bubba? everything you ever wanted?” vinnie asks after a few minutes.

wesley smiles, added with an ‘mhm!’ seeing as his mouth was full of ice cream.

vinnie grabbed a few napkins and wiped the boys face, ice cream getting all over his cheeks.

after ice cream, vinnie decided to take wesley to the park to burn off the remaining energy he may have.

“okay bud, i’ll be right here with water if you need it, go have fun.” vinnie smiled before his son ran off to the slide.

it was about an hour and a half before sunset, so there was enough time for wesley to burn some steam.

as vinnie kept an eye on his son playing with one other kid, he glanced over to his left and saw a girl sit next to him.

he gave her a polite smile before eyes locking on his son again.

“is he yours?” the girl asked, immediately feeling embarrassed for asking such a silly question.

vinnie turned to the girl and smiled. “yeah.” he replied.

the girl smiled and nodded. “thats my niece, she’s four.”

vinnie nodded. “my son, wesley. just turned two.” he announced.

the girl held out her hand for vinnie to shake. “i’m y/n, by the way.” she gave him a slight smile.

“vinnie.” he replied, shaking your hand.

the two of you talk, you learn he’s a single father trying to give his son the best life he could have.

you smiled at how he talked about his son, the way he loved his son was so sweet.

the sun was just about to fully set when vinnie called over wesley for the night.

“come on buddy, time to go home and get ready for bed.” vinnie called out, grabbing the water bottle and standing up.

wesley came up to his father with a pout, making vinnie give him a sad smile.

“hey it was nice to meet you, see you around, yeah?” vinnie said to you as he quickly scooped his son up in his arms.

you blushed with a nod, calling over your niece soon after and taking her home as well.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

about a month had gone by and you had a feeling you’d never actually see vinnie again, until one day that you do.

you’re both by yourselves this time, surprised to not see his son by his side since they seemed attached at the hip.

you’re at a local coffee shop in seattle, one you’ve been going to since highschool.

you notice the man standing by the counter as he waits for his drink, you order and head that way.

“hey, vinnie, right?” you ask as you approach the counter.

vinnie turns around with a smile and nods. “hey y/n, how’ve you been?”

you smile as your name leaves his mouth. when you two first met it was dark, you could merely see him in the dim lighting.

now that you get to see him in daylight, you saw how attractive he was. strong features, stubble growing in, beautiful brown eyes, and blonde curls that his son had obviously taken from his father.

vinnie, was doing the same with you. it had been so hard to get over wesley’s mother, it was like she was glued to him for months.

when he met you, however, it’s like his world stopped. you were the most beautiful girl he’s seen, and he needed you to know.

“you’re beautiful, you know?” he had no shame in saying it, there was no reason to when it was obvious.

blushing, you thanked him quietly before telling him how handsome he is.

the two of you got your drinks and decided to sit together. the two of you got to know each other more and even exchanged numbers.

“you been in seattle awhile?” you asked vinnie, seeing as it was kind of an important question to ask.

vinnie took a sip of his drink quickly before responding. he cleared his throat. if he was going to tell you the answer, mind as well say it truthfully.

“i was born and raised here but moved to california when i was eighteen,” he informed, you nodded. “i met wes’ mother then, things happened and wes was born. then shit happened with her so i decided to move back before wesley was one.” he explained.

you gave him a sympathetic look with a weak smile at the mention of things going south with the little boy’s mom. vinnie however, just shrugged it off.

“how about you, though?” he asked, and you sat up a bit straighter and gave him a smile.

“i grew up here too,” you replied. “never really left other than traveling, really.”

vinnie smiled and his mind immediately started racing with questions. how had they never crossed paths until recently?

they had to have at some point. unless they lived on opposite ends of the city.

you notice his confusion in the facial expressions he’s making and you giggle. little do you know, that just made vinnies heart jump.

it’s been so long since he’s felt this way, especially this early into meeting someone.

“you’re wondering how we haven’t met until now.” he goes wide eyed at your statement, wondering how you read through his mind.

vinnie stifles a laugh, smile added to it. “gorgeous and a mind reader, you’re two for two so far.”

you smile and blush at his statement, vinnie chuckling softly at your reaction.

another hour goes by and vinnie’s phone goes off. you glance down and quickly notice the text.

“oh shit it’s my mom, hold on.” he tells you apologetically.

you nod with a small smile as you wait for him to respond to his mom.

after a second he sets his phone down, smiling at you as he takes a sip of his drink.

“i’m sorry to cut this short, much rather spend a whole day than an hour with you,” he chuckles. “but wes comes first, and if we’re gonna continue to see each other, even if this is our second time meeting, i need you to know that.”

you take his words seriously, understanding completely that him being a father to his son comes before any woman he may want to see.

you nod. “of course, i understand.” you say as you stand up, he follows.

“you have my number, gimme a call when you can. might not be the most romantic, but bring wesley too if you want, maybe ill have my niece over.” you say with a smile.

vinnie smiles and goes in for a hug. you hug him back and pull away, grabbing your purse from the seat.

“i’ll call you.” he says with a smile before saying goodbye.

months go by and you and vinnie continue to see each other the best you can considering his schedule. he even properly introduced wesley to you, the boy being hesitant at first, but warming up to you quickly.

vinnie had told you he wants to take things slow, you were completely on board with that and honestly wanted it too.

you’ve been to his place a lot more in the past few months, even spending nights there sometimes. vinnie still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend, but it doesn’t bother you.

you know what he went through with wesley’s mother, the hurt it put him through, you don’t want to rush him into something.

the two of you are sitting on his couch watching a movie as wesley’s playing with his toys on the coffee table in front of you.

his arm is around your waist, he kisses your head before pulling you into him. you lay your head on his shoulder as you watch the boy in front of you play with his toy’s, along with the movie.

you feel vinnie lean in so you feel his breath on your ear. “you’ll be my girl one day, just gimme time.” he whispers.

you smile, tears threaten to spill from your eyes at the confession. you feel vinnie kiss your cheek as you continue to watch the movie.

vinnie never thought he’d be here two years later, but here he is, and he couldn’t be happier.

GIRLLLLLLL I LOVED THIS and i hope you all did too !! this is for the nonnie who asked for more vinnie fluff

tags: @cosmicanakin , @anqeliclust , @native2princess , @bernelflo , @visualbutterflysworld , @slvthrs , @0strawberrysorbet0 , @lovingsturniolo , @laylasbunbunny , @defnotayonna , @leqonsluv3r , @supabhad , @kriissy4gov , @kayleighh , @violet0182 , @hallecarey1 , @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom , @jpg3 , @khxna

[stars-n-spice]

Bad Batch Food Headcanons:

Was having the meal of champions (soju, galbi, and buldak) and it got me thinking,,

So have this collection of random food headcanons:

Crosshair insists he can handle spicy food but he cannot. He's eating hot cheetos and he's fucking crying

Wrecker had to build up a tolerance for spice - he fucking LOVES spicy food ("It's like an explosion in my mouth!!") but couldn't handle it at first. Now he can handle buldak with half of the spice packet!

Hunter and Tech can handle their spice decently but Echo isn't too fond of spicy foods.

Like Wrecker, Omega built up a tolerance to spice, but also like Crosshair she's sensitive to it and will insist that she can handle her spice

Echo is a picky eater. That's like canon. He doesn't care that he's a grown man, he's ordering mac-n-cheese at the fancy restaurant. Deal with it.

Tech is another picky eater but he thrives off instant stuff like ramen or snacks like chips. Man can plow through a whole Costco-sized bag of tortilla chips in one sitting without realizing it.

Hunter has a stomach of steel, he'll eat anything and everything. It's only a matter of REMEMBERING to fucking eat. He'll stand up, nearly faint, then go, "What the hell?" and it's because he hasn't eaten since fucking yesterday.

No Crosshair, an ice coffee is NOT a suitable breakfast. How many times do we have to tell you? And aren't you fucking lactose intolerant???

Oh they love their dinosaur chicken nuggets though - especially Omega and Wrecker. They'll dunk them in ketchup and create a whole murder crime scene.

Omega LOVES soup. Any and all kinds! I think she'd really enjoy udon or 냉면 the most though. The slurp-ier the better!

I feel like Tech is a curry enjoyer. Indian curry, Thai curry, Japanese curry - he loves it all.

Rip Crosshair you would've loved flavored soju 😔

Rip Wrecker you would've loved Korean BBQ and all you can eat sushi

I don't think Hunter likes cold foods. His teeth are sensitive and they hurt when he eats cold stuff like ice cream (no I'm not projecting)

Crosshair likes mint ice cream. Echo likes rocky road. Wrecker enjoys strawberry or sherbert. Omega likes cookie dough. Tech likes caramel or coffee.

Ice cream is like the only kind of "dessert" that Crosshair likes (despite being lactose intolerant) - he doesn't really have a sweet tooth

WAIT CROSSHAIR WHEN I TELL YOU ABOUT BINGSU!!!

SPAM. SPAM. SPAM. Shut up they WOULD eat spam and idc what people say I fucking LOVE spam. Spam is the love of my life, they could never make me hate spam. I used to write parody love songs about spam as a kid. They would enjoy breakfasts of spam, rice, and eggs.

They'd devour the shit out of Mexican food. Like CMON-

Feel like Omega would like fiedo. And Echo too

Wrecker thinks breakfast burritos are godsend - he absolutely loves papas and chorizo

Y'know what would be funny? Echo being a picky eater yet LOVEING Mole. It's not for everyone (I personally like it) but he thinks it's good

Omega has a boba addiction. She has ro have it every week. Her favorites are Taro, Strawberry Matcha, and Honey Milk Tea

Only Hunter and Wrecker like boba; Echo, Crosshair, and Tech find the texture funny but they enjoy the drinks

I feel like Echo is a big bread eater. My sister reminds me a LOT of Echo and she absolutely ADORES bread (she's also a picky eater) - catch him at 85° or Paris Baguette

Hunter would love Soul Food and he also can work a grill

Rip Echo you would’ve loved soba and you would've loved 맥주

Tech actually secretly (not so secretly) has a sweet tooth - he really likes muffins and pies specifically

Omega and Wrecker record "Food Review" videos together

I have,, so many more ideas and whatnot but I'm leaving it here-

Ugh I just,,, I have so many foods I'd love to introduce them too-

[the-universal-sun]

Okay first of all I love your first post was bonding to my ask but also I was wondering could I get some head cannons on Ford being the twins caregiver( the baby twins Dipper and Mabel)

@pinkyshy10 i want to make sure I get the notification that's why I'm tacking myself

Thank you for your ask, of course you can get some hc of Ford being Dipper and Mabel’s caregiver! I loved writing this request so much! The babies! ! I did talk about Stanley helping some, but this is all Ford caregiving for the twins! The three of them are such cuties!!! I hope it lives up to your expectations! I’m so sorry it’s so late, I’ve got a back log but I’m working through them! Please stay nice and warm this week!

I’ll tag you here so you can see it too, just in case: @pinkyshy10

As always, I’m always open for helpful comments and critiques!

Sending you all the loce in the world!

-_-_ -_-_ -_-_ -_-_ -_-_ -_-_ -_-_ -_-_ -_-_ -_-_ -_-_ -_-

-Ford never expected to be a caregiver to two small children, nonetheless children that regress, but he takes it in stride. He loves his niblings and would do anything for them, so of course he’s more than willing to watch over and care for them, letting the two of them crawl into his bed when they have a nightmare or two

-He’ll ease them back to sleep with the more happy tales from his time dimension hopping, telling them how cute they looked in that baby dimension. He’ll pat their backs and brush their hair-trying to remember how it was his mother and then Stanley consoled him. They snuggle on his chest and pass out near instantaneously once he gets them settled

-He did feel overwhelmed at first, but he has Stanley to support him and calm him down. It helps that the twins don’t always regress together, though it’s more often than not

-Ford would be a less stern caregiver for the twins than Stanley would be. Surprising everyone, but this is the man who gave a 12 year old a crossbow

-He’s stricter with what they eat and when they sleep, but for everything in between Ford has more of a “all long as nobody gets seriously injured” mindset

-They need nap time and semi-nutritious food. Nap time isn’t hard, but it’s not easy. The twins, energetic on the regular, are hyperactive when they regress, if they could bounce off the walls, Ford bets they would. To get them to take a nap, he’ll try to tire them out but chasing them, but when that doesn’t always work, he’ll wrap them up tightly in a big blanket, lay them down with some pillows in the floor, turn down the lights, and either play a really boring black and white that would him to sleep or roughly hum an old lullaby he picked up from someone, scratching their heads to lull them to sleep

-He uses their nap time to get some alone time, decompress and to breathe from all the energy he had been surrounded with, Stanley looking over the twins to give him brother a break

-Food is…another issue. Ford can make a mean sandwich and pour juice and milk, he can put fruits and veggies on a tray with some cheese or dipping sauce, but he cannot cook. Not well and not palatable enough for two regressed tweens, if they want edible Mac and cheese or pancakes, it’s either they don’t get any and Ford’s at the wrong end of sad puppy dog eyes, or he’s asking Stanley to make them

-He won’t let them eat Greasy’s when he’s caring for them, he thinks it’s too unhealthy for such young children (and he had such a bad experience there he never wants to go back)

-It took some getting used to, caring for Dipper and Mabel when they regress, but he does have help in the form of Stanley, who’ll act as a babysitter if Ford needs to have his attention elsewhere for a moment or two. Ford also learned the basics of caring for children from Stan, though he has to modify it to fit in with the twins’ smaller ages

-It surprised him to find out that Little Dipper (so Ford’s nickname for him now) is more talkative than a Little Mabel. She does talk, but she’s quieter, more content to observe, unless you bring up a topic she’s super interested in. Dipper, however will go on and on about anything and everything. He is a “but why” little, which, Ford loves how inquisitive Dipper is, always wanting to know more, but at the same time, when he’s been asked “but why not?” 10 times in a row, he needs to steer the conversation to something else

-He tries to set individual little time with the twins so he can engage with them one-on-one, it’s in these cases that Stan will watch the other twin. He does arts and crafts and tea parties with Mabel, sometimes putting together Lego sets if it’s one she seems interested in. Sometimes they’ll just cuddle and watch a movie if that’s what she wants. He very much likes gossiping with her stuffed animals at the tea parties, spreading the most juicy inter-dimensional rumors.

-With Dipper, they’ll do puzzles, put together legos, and paint. Dipper loves finger painting when he’s feeling small, Ford doesn’t mind that he gets everything messy even with a smock on, his boy doesn’t look anxious or tired, his eyes bright and lacking their usual bags. If he starts asking too many questions, Ford may sometimes turn on a kid friendly documentary to keep him distracted

-Dipper and Mabel both love it when Ford reads to them, he gets so into the characters and get super dramatic, making them laugh and squeal behind their pacifiers

-They both have pacifiers, Dipper because he keeps chewing on his shirts, Mabel because she wanted to be like him, but actually really liked how soothing it is

-Dipper’s nickname is the Little Dipper and Mabel is Ford’s Meteorite. He thinks the names are cute, no matter how much Stanley may tease him about it

-No Mabel Juice when they’re little. Never again.

-Even when regressed, these two love to chase mysteries and go exploring, getting into as much mischief as possible with Ford’s eyes on them. He does allow them to go on adventures in Gravity Falls with him, but only if they’re kiddie friendly and he has to keep an eye on them at all times (Stanley’s rules). He only goes about 50 feet into the forest, which is plenty fun for them, they love running around and picking up every shiny rock and cool stick they find, sometimes wondering off too far if something catches their eye.

-Ford almost had a heart attack when he couldn’t find Dipper one day, looking everywhere, while holding Mabel in his arms, only to find him further in the trees arguing with a gnome

-The twins now have backpack leashes for when they leave the shack while regressed. It’s safer for them and makes it less liable that their Grunkle’s have a heart attack

-Ford loves his niblings, he doesn’t mind caring for them whatever their headspace may be. They’re both such caring and lovable individuals, it brings a pleasant ache in his chest to know that they care for him, trust him so much, that they allow themselves to be vulnerable like this around him. He loves his little family so much

[theferalgremlinmfb]

𝓡𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓸𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓮 ♡ 𝓣𝓸𝓾𝓬𝓱

Pairings here: Cooper Howard • The Ghoul x Original Character(with a twist)

Summary: Cooper Howard was divorced, but soon got close to a co-star, the chemistry was there, the stars were high above. Let’s not forget his ex-wife to what she has suggested, not only he lost his daughter with no way of finding her, but losing his now and then before the bombs drop wife. Now he’s hired to find someone, the price is heavy amount, but what happens when he finds out who it is and not being able to do anything about it… or can he?

Word count: 1.9K

Warning(s): Minors, please don’t interact and fuck off, this is adults only, thanks you. The writer having an inexperience writing bc it’s been a while, yall signed up for this, remember that. ANYWAYS… Slow burn, implied torture, implied past fucking, future fucking, face fucking, anal fucking, normal creampies, radiated creampies, drug use, oral receiving and giving, and overall just pure filth. (Each chapter will have more descriptive warnings though!)

Notes by yours truly: If you wish to let me know of any errors, send a dm or something, I’d like to keep opinions from anyone open, as long as you’re nice. I give energy that’s given and I don’t fuck around, don’t sugar coat or anything, practice makes perfect and I wanna keep that flow going! Thank you. Happy reading, friends!

The Prologue:

Living in the vault was easier, much easier, the food was always fresh, never having to eat scraps to the dirt, licking everything till there was nothing left. The saliva that dripped off the tongue would linger wet onto the grainy floor till the sun would burn it dry. Getting a plate of Mac and cheese made by Blamco, the storage was full of any sort of food, with the side of Salisbury steak and pork n beans. But that wasn’t the case on the surface now. Tip was her name, living in a vault wasn’t her choice, the memories were a blur, but the voices were much presentable and known. Her name was simple and unnoticeable, but needed when bounty hunters would come looking for intel for whom they were looking for and to where to find them. The small amount of caps that she would get was always spent on food, never on anything else. The day she escaped the vault, it was a blessing from the dry boiling sky above, even if it was a surface hell, where she was at was far more worse.

Upon awakening from the cryogenic pod, the first fresh gasp of air, burning her lungs from the crisp sensation of the cool air around her, managing to get out, falling in the process, unsure if she was in that damn thing for days, maybe months - or worse… years. There was no telling how long she had been there, but the sight along from seeing, raiders is what some were called from the surface, hearing a while back that some heard of the vault she was imprisoned in, it was better than most, the food was the greatest, the water was most fresh and purified to the stomach and skin. When they let her out, they promised to reunite her with her lover, yet never saw him in any time that she was taken out, just to be put unconscious and back into the cryogenic pod. They never let her see what day it was, even the month was unknown, along with the year. Making it known that she would be fooled once again, because her feelings were always heightened, leaving her in such a state, her mental health was at its worst months ago. Fighting raiders wasn’t in her to do list, but she sure showed those fuckers that she was worse than any of them. From wearing the vault suit that was tight against her flesh to their shitty attempt of clothing, now she wore a worn out wedding dress that carried more blood stains from every son of a bitch that had crossed her so far. No one got near her, if so, they got to deal with her resting bitch face and dry responses or nothing at all.

“Doll, please lemme have some -” a poor idiot bastard tried to place his hand on her exposed knee that was wrapped by duct tape, attempt to expose a wound from a light stab, he had the tip of her double saw shotgun right in his lips, practically giving it a heavy smooch.

“Touch me the fuck again, and I will make sure you deep throat my fucking barrels,” she snapped, her tone cold as ice, cooling his nerve endings, “Now fuck off, you piece of lizard shit.”

The only time that a bounty hunter has talked to her, it was to find the whereabouts of a Skeeter Roman, a little pickpocket thief that roams in crowded pathways, easily sneaking a hand into a pocket and snatching a stash of caps. Tip tilted her head to the side, her light eyes spotting who was asked for, with no hesitation, pointing at the little radroach thief, taking an unconscious drunk idiot’s bit of caps from the pocket. Poor little bastard wasn’t warned or nothing, she watched the man walk up to that little person, grab from the neck and snap a quick snap. The man grabbed the body and slumped it over his back, walking towards her and handing her one hundred caps for the trouble.

Taking a full swig of her nuka cola quantum, all eyes on her, but no one dared to even pull a gun for such a thing she had done. It’s not the telling, it’s for the caps, fuck everyone else, it’s only you against the world of pure bullshit and hell.

It’s been about a few days, everything seemed too quiet for her liking, her little home was a worn out house that was probably fucked by the nukes that were launched, a very late warning, leaving a lot of people running to vaults, under the house shelters that were later discovered as bullshit. The people that bought the high price were saved, but later killed, for what? For being selfish assholes that pushed others to their deaths or more, they either became ash forms or whatever mutated shit that was created by the radiation. Pulling out the metallic bottle jug that she managed to find, it was still fully intact, but filling it with the fresh purified water was so good, the way it washed the dryness of the throat, the refreshness felt so filling, pulling it away was so painful and limited. Pulling a bag that was hidden away, unzipping it to push the top to the side, the inside carried a lot of old worn out clothes that weren't too tattered, most of it was dresses, casual pants and tops, and some garments. Whoever put this together, they were either going on a vacation or trying to see if they would survive the blast, sadly anyone that did, well… there’s the aftermath of it all.

Scavenging was something close to surviving, but sometimes luck was a clutch, anything would be, if the cards were played right. Sighing, anything over nothing was better to none, it made no sense to make sense, it’s how it was. Letting her body go limp for a moment, hours of looking, breaking through things for something, just a bit to show some sight of hope, but even that was impossible to find. The vault was easy living, the problem was that it was too easy for food, for clothes, and overall… peace. Living on the surface wasn’t like that, it was like rats fighting for the last little sugar bomb, only to be shredded in the process, then eaten into nothing. Leaning her head back, swallowing the annoyance of the thoughts of differences, even to have the what ifs was irritating to think of.

What if they didn’t drop the bombs?

What if it didn’t get to that point?

What if…

Her brows furrowing, eyes closed, the thoughts were overflowing her mind. There was so much to think about, wondering if she would exist with how she was before, getting a chance to see what it was like to live… normally? Was that even a thing? It wasn’t that she wasn’t alive, no. It was more of being born in luxury, becoming a star like her parents, getting to be a popular model for cereal brands and even some cooking shows, and movies. Just the memories flowing again, this time they were clearer than before, just her being a damsel in the arms of a cowboy that held a smile after saving her. The way he fought off the goons, freeing her from a silly pathetic little scheme, then the shared kiss. Her hand touching her lips, her eyes still closed, wondering where he could be and if he could be alive, maybe he fixed his -

“Well, now…”

Her eyes snapped open with a panic, her hand quick with the gun by the side that was never brought up from her surroundings, but she sure kept it in sight to her side if need be. Staring where the voice was coming from, gun at hand and aiming at the person - no, pointing at a pretty much fully and mentally attached ghoul. It was odd to face one that talked, even if there were a few, they kept to themselves till they succumbed into madness, but this one felt different. Oddly different. He was a pretty interesting sight, the outfit he wore was cowboy like, the accent that lingered was something familiar, unsure where to place it, her image wasn’t a sight to see for sure, but what was a cowboy dressed up ghoul pulling up to where she was, and why was he there?

“Can’t find your own damn fucking house to claim?” She asked, her tone was steady with her facial expression holding a stern look.

His eyebrows would’ve risen, if he had any, but yet he was hiding the shock under his impression, ain’t no one ever had the balls like her to do what she just did. Not like he gave them a chance, because he was quick with the trigger, but this individual was something fucking ballsy to even find, especially that he was hired to bring her back. The cap was more than what any bounty hunter has ever been hired to do such a thing, most would pay that way to kill the person and call it a day, but this one was different, and he was determined to why. There was something about her that felt… familiar? Why? He didn’t know her, or did he? The questions were there, it was something that he never had to deal with, if it was, that was so damn fucking long ago to remember now, he was no human now that he was then. The two stared at each other in silence for a moment, till his mind grinding the gears going back some, maybe far back, just the eyes from her gaze and then it fucking clicked.

It was someone from his fucking past.

Fuck.

— Tags here: @rafecamsgirlll @yondus-girl

[m00nlight-ramblings]

BG3 Companion Modern AU Headcanons

These random thoughts popped into my mind and I had to write them down. I love these little weirdos, and some of them probably don't make sense but OH WELL.

Should I do a Part 2 with more companions?? Let me know - my inbox and requests are open!

------

Astarion

This dude's got iPad kid energy - he loves to scroll Tiktok for hours.

He gets bi-weekly pedicures. And not the basic kind - the full on 1.5 hour long with the massage and the mask and the exfoliation.

His favorite holiday is Halloween. He plans his costume starting in August.

He'd be the type of person to be walking through a mall, see a Claire's, and spontaneously decide to get his ears pierced idk.

Is really into metal. Like, you'll come home and Metallica will be blasting and you walk into the bedroom and he's folding laundry and just like, "Oh, HELLO, Darling!" but will have to scream it over the volume in which he's listening to music

Will truly take an hour picking out the perfect wine to pair with your dinner...he's definitely a wine snob.

The cheapest article of clothing Astarion owns is from Banana Republic and it's an undershirt...everything else is ~*very fancy*~

Loves watching all types of vampire movies/TV shows. He can often be heard saying, "Oh no, they got that all wrong" under his breath.

He definitely reads like 1-2 books a week. He's recently really gotten in spicy smut books (he definitely got recommendations from BookTok).

For sure falls asleep to ASMR videos.

Gale

This man loves HGTV *queue Home Depot commercial music*

Has the most absolutely beautiful, clean home you've ever seen with about 30 bookcases CRAMMED with books. The books are the only disorganized thing in his home because he constantly is reading them, so alphabetizing them is useless.

Pinterest is his most used phone app. His boards are carefully curated. That man has a recipe/inspiration pic/quote for EVERYTHING.

Definitely volunteers at the animal shelter once a month. Often times has to talk himself out of bringing a cat home.

LUSH is his favorite store at the mall. He loves them bath bombs.

He THROWS DOWN at holiday parties...Christmas? Thanksgiving? The table is SET. The decorations are UP. He's wearing an APRON because he's been cooking ALL day. The playlist is PERFECT.

Speaking of holidays, he has matching pajama sets for everyone in the household. For every. Holiday.

Fall is absolutely his favorite season. "Sweetheart...have you ever watched 'When Harry Met Sally'? Perfect autumn movie...also I bought a new scarf today to go with my new peacoat. And mittens. And a new hat...it's getting cold outside."

He definitely has a Live. Laugh. Love. adjacent sign somewhere in his home

He definitely needs glasses to read. And he for sure has those librarian chains so that he can just take them off and they hang, instead of losing them.

Karlach

Absolutely loves to eat meals watching Youtube videos.

Imagine her in Times Square? She tears the M&M's store UP.

Is obsessed with documentaries. She often says things like "I can't believe there's so much stuff to LEARN out there!"

Definitely has a Squishmallow collection. And she rotates which one she sleeps with every night so they all get a chance.

Is absolutely the worst cook of all time but tries really really hard...however, she can make a mean boxed mac n' cheese.

Has an obsession with sugary cereal. There's always Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Fruity Pebbles in her cabinets.

Certified Switie for SURE.

Is really into astrology. Definitely has said, "Oh, you're just saying that because you're a SCORPIO" or the like many, many times.

Absolute Starbucks addiction (venti iced caramel macchiato, extra caramel).

Has monthly "girl's nights" (but everyone is invited) at her place. The rules are: pajamas only, junk food, romcoms, and a playlist of the best pop songs in the past 20 years.

------

How'd y'all like it...should I make a part two with other companions?! Remember my inbox is open and I'm accepting requests!! I'd love to write some stuff so send it in!

[dgttwisted]

prankSTAR!!✨✨✨

Hayeli from @mellosdrawings and Akanda & Akedya form @rakiah

Hayeli, Akanda an Akedya sit at the lunch table disgussing something very very important.

"Listen up we've decided to add to our ranks!"

"currently there is three of us that's an odd number aka bad luck"

"i have enough of that as is we don't need to add to it, you brought this up which means you two already have someone in mind don't you?" Hayeli says already mimicking there movements

"hehe~" they both laughed

"indeed we do~ take a look behind us"

on the table behind the twins Lilith was eating mac & cheese with Grim.

"Grim would be funny but isn't he prone to lighting most things on fire?"

"no no not Grim Lilith!"

"the child? Vil mentioned her once hmm what was it he said? well if i can't remember it's probably not important, anyway isn't she rather young to be a prankster?"

"no way thats the perfect age to start! we started as pranksters at a young age, just think by the time she is our age Lilith could be a master prankster"

"kids are very impressionable we butter her up an the skies the limit!"

"i see what you mean but what about Grim? I've heard he's very protective of his 'henchmen' as he calls her"

"don't worry we already have a plan for him!"

"a prank to start off this prank adventure!"

---

Akanda & Akedya preemptively bought cans of tuna an put them in a spaced out line that lead right back to ramshackle. surely no one would actually fall for this-

Grim started tracking the cans down immediately ditching Lilith.

"looky what we have here~" Akanda, Akedya and Hayeli circle Lilith in a teasing manner though not a malicious one.

"i believe it is our new up coming prankstar!!"

"it's the Aka's"

"oh does though already know of our reparation!?" this could put a wrench in there plan.

"no we've never spoken but Vil mentioned you before....sorry i can't pronounce your name right"

"fear not little star drop!" Hayeli says with all the enthusiasm one could have talking to a 7 year old. "names shames thats not important right now whats important is that like my friends have just said we've come to help you become the best prankster ever!"

"prankstarrrr prankst....." Lilith furrowed her brow she was trying to say it right "Prank-ster!" the three of them clapped when she said it right

"i don't know what that is"

"that is why we're here! to show you the way!"

"we promise you will have a blast!"

"that's right a bunch of fun, you like having fun don't you?"

"yes of course! who doesn't!?"

hook line an sinker they got there prize Lilith now the pranking has started. or at least that was there plan just some innocent pranks.

---

"this first prank is an easy one!" they hand Lilith a sliced lemon "ok squeeze this lemon into that students drink when he's not looking!"

"why?"

"...it will be funny trust us"

"I'll try!" Lilith walked over the student couldn't really not notice her

"can i help you?"

Lilith froze for a second "um your not supposed to look!"

Akanda, Akedya and Hayeli all collectively face palmed

the student chuckled a bit an playfully covered his eyes an Lilith squeezed the lemon into the drink. "ok im done thank you!" as she walked off the students friend told him what happened he still drank it anyway after all he wanted to make Lilith happy for trying.

"i did it!"

"....."

"...."

"...."

"did i do something wrong?"

"nya? no you did fine...uh lets try something else!"

they moved to the next location

"ok this will be another easy one are you ready?"

"yes!" she still pumped even though she doesn't quite understand how pranks are supposed to work.

"this corner is famous so many blind spots even rook avoids it! when you hear someone coming jump out an make the loudest noise you can think of!" this time they weren't expecting anything crazy but there was no way to fail such an easy prank.

Lilith waited by the corner patiently hearing footsteps draw closer she jumped out "BOO!" the man in question shrieked so loud it scared Lilith she lost her balance an fell over.

the man in question was idia, the Twins an Hayeli were giving Lilith thumbs up. Lilith got back up an went over to idia "are you hurt? it was supposed to be an easy prank!" she wasn't supposed to say that part out loud

"o-oh u-h good job? i-" before Idia could finish his sentence Akanda grabbed Lilith an ran though it was so fast Idia couldn't processes who it was.

---

"this prank is a bit hardcore an you'll need one of us to help you but if we pull it off it'll be the best nya~"

"no ones gonna get hurt this time?"

"nope! promise!"

Lilith hold out her pinkie the twins were staring blankly for a moment not sure why she was doing that. Then Hayeli lifted out his pinkie an shook Lilith's.

"promise~"

Lilith beamed "ok!! what are we doing!?"

---

Lilith an Hayeli snuck into Leona's room as the Twins were in a vantage point to be look outs. the plan was easy tie a bucket of water to the door an water would rain on Leona when he came in.

"looks pretty high up"

"don't worry ive been practicing!" before Hayeli could ask what she meant Lilith started thinking happy thoughts start to glow an float up.

"looks like you didn't need me after all-"

"um....i don't know how to tie knots"

"oh uh give me a sec Kaleidoscope Divine~" Hayeli started glowing an floating just like Lilith though just before he could even start to do the tie the door swung open but instead of a splash of water the bucket full of water slammed into Leona's head.

you would think Hayeli was in track in field with the speed he grabbed Lilith an ran leaving trails of dust behind him. the twins met up with him an they met over behind Sams shop.

"why did we go here?"

"we need to bribe her with sweets so she doesn't snitch"

Lilith is in shock she couldn't fully processes everything that had occurred though while the twins an Hayeli were trying to hatch a plan a shadow covers Lilith.

"OI!" the voice made Lilith look up it was her worst fear at that moment it was Leona holding an ice pack to his head "what do you have to say for yourself herbivore!"

"...waaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!" Lilith started uncontrollably crying "I-I-I'M SORRRRRYYYYY WAAAAAAAAAA"

"OI I'm the one whose injured here don't start crying!"

Akanda, Akedya and Hayeli were slowly stepping back trying not to make noise. though backed right into the chest of the last person they needed to see that day.

"just where do you think you three are going?" it was Vil undenounced to them it wasn't just Leona who had spilled the beans on there shenagins but Grim an Idia to. "if i recall i asked you three to never involve Lilith in your trouble she is far to sweet for the pranks you pull"

Hayeli smacks his fist into his flat palm "OOOOH thats what you said!" he knew he'd remember eventually.

Hayeli, Akanda an Akedya got detention an Lilith had a 5 minute time out an had to write an apology letter to Leona.

[immeasurablesaladagere]

Hi salad! Can i please request an impure regression fic about little!Wilson going nonverbal 🙏🙏

Here you are! I'm almost to the bottom of my request stack, yay! It's late when I'm posting so sorry if I've glazed over any mistakes, I'm sure I'll catch them tomorrow and facepalm lol

-----

Word Count: 1003

Summery: Wilson has been quiet since they got home. House goes to find out what's up and finds him regressed in his room.

-----

If he was being honest, House hadn’t noticed the absence of Wilson’s usual milling around the apartment until his stomach started growling. Ever the motivated housewife, Wilson was always meal-prepping and tidying, and if they had a kid, he would be hovering over them and permanently messing with their sense of independence as all good mothers. He was also usually the one who started dinner after they got home, but now it was nearing eight-thirty and the only thing he’d heard from Wilson was quiet footsteps to the bathroom and back over an hour ago. How very un-Wilson of him.

He grunted as he pushed himself off of the couch and hobbled down the hall to Wilson’s room. 

“You better not be jerking off in here, because I’m coming in!” He announced, before unceremoniously opening the door and walking in. It wasn’t like he cared all too much about privacy, but he wasn’t exactly looking to be flashed on a Friday night; at least, not by Wilson.

There was nothing scandalous going on in Wilson’s room; nor was he sleeping, which was his second guess. Instead, he found Wilson curled up on his side, on top of the covers in a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants, gripping his teddy bear against his chin. He looked up at House with round, tired eyes, but didn’t say anything.

He fished his bottle of Vicodin out of his pocket and popped a couple of pills. So he was regressed, then. He could probably deal with that.

He still wasn’t entirely used to the whole “caregiving” thing, but he had yet to catastrophically fail and traumatize Wilson’s three-year-old self, so he was tentatively confident as he sat down on the bed by his feet. 

“So… What’s going on here?” He motioned to Wilson’s generally sad, floppy-ness. Now that he was closer it was obvious that he had been crying at some point, his eyes were bloodshot and it looked like someone had vacuumed the soul out of him.

Wilson didn’t respond, which seemed to be a trend with him. Of the few times he had been regressed around House, he had only spoken more than a few words consistently once. Wilson had explained to him that while he technically could speak, it took too much energy and he usually decided not to. He wished adults worked like that, he would go home every day with so many less migraines.

“O-kay… Do you need me to do anything, or are you good to just… be sad?” Wilson seemed to have himself handled, but he figured he should do his due-diligence, just in case.

Wilson looked around the room for a second, thinking, before slowly raising a hand and doing what House recognized as the baby-sign for ‘food’.

“Hungry? Me too. I guess you want me to make you something?” He asked, and Wilson looked away and scrunched up more. “Relax, it was an offer. I’ll see what I can scavenge from the cupboard.” He got up and made his way to the kitchen, and after a minute he heard Wilson climb out of bed and follow him.

Wilson dropped into one of the dining room chairs and watched him intently as he rummaged through the cabinets for something quick and kid-friendly. He pulled out a box of Kraft Mac n’ Cheese. Kids liked this stuff, right? 

“Will you eat this?” He asked, and Wilson nodded mutely. “Perfect.”

He dumped the pasta into a pot of water and began to heat it over the stove, watching as the water turned a murky, starch-filled beige. He remembered seeing these boxes in the store when he shopped with his mother as a kid. She always refused to buy them because “those are just chemicals”, and she was probably right, but he still smirked to himself at the idea of getting to stick it to her after all these years.

Once the pasta had cooked, he strained it and dumped in the neon-orange cheese powder, a spoonful of butter, and some milk. After a quick stir, he had a pot of edible-looking yellow macaroni. It didn’t smell like chemicals. He poured some into two bowls and gave one to Wilson before joining him at the table. Maybe it was the kind that killed you slowly. He could live with that.

Wilson ate his portion far too quickly for the quality of the product, but he supposed he was mentally a toddler. It was okay, all things considered. They sat in silence as House picked away at the pasta and Wilson fiddled with the paws of his bear absently. He was staring off at nothing, and House could see that whatever had upset him earlier was still bothering him.

Eventually he decided to bite the bullet. “Do you want to talk about it? Or— sign or something?”

Wilson firmly shook his head no.

He shrugged. “Okay.” He took both of their dishes to the sink and left them at the bottom for Wilson to clean up tomorrow. “I think it’s time for bed now, hm?”

There was no resistance on Wilson’s part, which wasn’t surprising. He looked so exhausted it was almost unsettling, and easily allowed himself to be led back to bed.

“And this time, we get under the covers. It’s a great invention, I know.” He pulled the covers up over Wilson’s shoulders, and once he looked settled, turned to go back to the living room.

But the second he pulled his hand away, Wilson let out the most pathetic kicked-puppy sound he could possibly muster. With a sigh House sat down on the edge of the bed and put his hand back, and immediately the fussing stopped. He chuckled, “Oh you are needy.” 

With nothing better to do, he began gently rubbing up and down Wilson’s back until his breaths evened out and he was asleep, snuggling his bear. House couldn’t help but smile slightly. He really did look like a little kid. 

“Goodnight, Jimmy.”

[toasttt11]

oh

November 8, 2023

Clementine groaned hearing the knock on her front door, “One Second!” Clementine called out unwrapping the heating pad off her rips and gingerly standing up, she slowly walked to the door looking in the entrance mirror seeing she is only in a sports bra and sweat shorts and her ribs were wrapped in a ace bandage and her hair was in disastrous messy french braid but she was in pain and too tired to even care.

She opened the door seeing Alex patient waiting on her front mat, “Alex? What are you doing here?” Clementine questioned confused knowing that the team was hanging out tonight at Nico’s but she declined wanting to rest.

“I figured you could use some company.” Alex sheepishly smiled and held up a few grocery bags, “And have some dinner?” Alex knew Clementine can be stubborn and not want to admit when’s she not okay, but he saw the hit last night and was surprised she wasn’t majorly injured and just bruised and sore.

“You don’t have to.” Clementine weakly protested, Alex just shook his head and stepped into her apartment with a smile, he started walking to the kitchen and Clementine slowly followed behind him.

“You should be sitting down.” Alex gave her a stern look as he set the bags on her kitchen counter.

“What are you making?” Clementine ignored his words trying to peek into the bags.

Alex set his hand on top of the bags closing them back up giving her a look, “Clem, your tired and sore go rest.”

Alex gave her another stern look making her let out a long suffering sigh but reluctantly nodded and slowly shuffled back to the couch and she put the heating pad back on.

Clementine closed her eyes resting her head on the pillow and she must of dozed off because she woke up to someone gently shaking her and the smell of food.

“Hm.” Clementine hummed half asleep rubbing her eyes, she blinked up seeing Alex kneeled in front of the couch rubbing her back gently giving her a soft look that made her stomach turn.

“Hey sleepy head, dinners ready.” Alex softly spoke still rubbing her back gently, smiling at the sleepy look on her face.

She slowly nodded and slowly sat up and slowly got off the couch, she took a deep breath smelling the food as she walked to the kitchen seeing Alex already plated her food.

“Mac and Cheese!” Clementine grinned widely seeing her favorite food, “You remembered?” Clementine looked at Alex confused.

“Of course Clem it’s your favorite food.” Alex responded in a matter of fact tone like he was almost offended she thought he didn’t remember.

Clementine felt her heart soften in fondness for her teammate, “Thanks Lex.” Clementine spoke sitting down and immediately digging into the mac and cheese making a happy noise as she started eating.

Alex eyes widen hearing the nickname and the noise Clementine made as she took a bite but he shook his head trying to get rid of those thoughts as she brought his plate and started next to her.

Clementine was quickly eating, what might be her absolute favorite mac and cheese she has ever eaten.

Clementine smiled looking down before she realized what she was feeling and her eyes widen dramatically as she stared down at her plate.

She likes Alex.

Clementine took a deep breath stopping herself from panicking any further.

She knew her last relationship didn’t end on a bad note but it did still hurt terribly and she doesn’t know if she’s ready to even think about dating someone again, let alone a teammate again.

But the whole reason her last relationship ended was because it wasn’t easy, just seeing each other took weeks of work and planning and living in two different time zones and both at two different points in their career it just wasn’t easy and they couldn’t love each other the way they both deserted to be loved.

Clementine titled her head in thought thinking back of all the moments with Alex, and everything was just so easy and relaxing, she didn’t how she didn’t figure out her feelings before for Alex. She took a deep breath and pushed back her thoughts and feelings until she is alone and not next to the guy who is unintentionally causing all of this.

“Thank you.” Clementine spoke up as they two just ate in peaceful silence and she pushed her bowl slightly away from her.

“Always.” Alex just nonchalantly shrugged he would do anything if it made Clementine feel better.

Clementine felt her face soften and smiled at Alex giving him a fond look.


Alex gulped nervously seeing such a beautiful smile directly right at him and how soft she looked, he felt his heart pound faster but tried to distract himself by jumping up and grabbing both of their bowls.

Clementine tried to walk over and help clean up but Alex gave her another stern look and she reluctantly left the kitchen and went back to the couch sitting down.

Alex finished cleaning up and walked over sitting down next to her seeing that she put on a hockey game.

Alex was watching the game that he almost flinched when he felt something hit his arm but he looked down seeing Clementine’s head rested on his shoulder as Clementine looked fast asleep, Alex smiled soflty and shifted both of them slowly making sure not to wake her up but shifted her so she’s laying down more and so is he so he doesn’t need to get up and wake her up.

Clementine moved in her sleep making Alex freeze in worry that he woke her up but she just shifted and cuddled into Alex chest letting out a soft sigh, Alex slowly relaxed and gently put his hand of top of her hair, running his hands through her blonde hair slowly as he felt his eyes starting to shut close.

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

Phone call.

Alex Keller x Ex wife/husband reader (Y/N).

Phone calls are all he needs when he feels alone and overwhelmed. He already knows who to call to ease his mind.

📢 Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Warning: nothing serious, as always grammatical and spelling errors.

It's pretty early in the morning for Alex, he didn't sleep, it's the 3rd time this week, he left the bed hours ago, unsure of what to do, he's just walking around, the smell of gasoline, ashes and the serenity of the night vanishing is all that fill his lungs, some soldiers are awake too, but they're not trying to talk to him, many of them probably are feeling in the same way as him, exhausted.

His brain is floating in the air, the silence is Peaceful but also crushing. Suddenly the memory of your voice echoes in his mind.

When you and him signed the divorce papers you weren't happy, but also there were no signs of anger, all ended in good terms, he always loved that about you, your self- control, since then he occasionally calls you to make sure you're doing well, because even if you're not together anymore, he still takes care of you and he still needs to hear your voice.

You're literally his first contact on the list, the beep causes anxiety, somehow he fears one day you will not pickup the phone.

«Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...» the sound of music and then your voice.

- Hello?

- Y/N? hi!

- Alex, hi, what time is there? Isn't it Early?

- Ah, yeah, it is... What about you? It's kinda late, no? feels like it has been years since we talked.

- Yes, but in fact, our last call was three weeks ago. Are you having sleeping problems, again?

He can't lie to you, you can read him very well.

- Yeah, but... it's alright, And you? Why are you still awake?

- Ah, you know a paramedic rarely sleeps.

Both let a little laugh escape, but you can hear it in his voice something is bothering him, there's a long pause before one of you can talk again.

- What's going on Alex? Is Farrah okay?

Your voice is calm and soft, he likes that, he misses it, just sometimes. He's observing the sunrise while the sound of whatever you're doing and your voice singing fills the silence.

You're making some Mac and cheese while you're waiting for him to talk, you know he will.

- She's alright. What are you doing y/n?

- Mac and cheese, your mother's recipe, remember?

- fuckin' hell, yeah, i haven't eaten it in a while, but I can taste the flavor in my mouth.

Both start to talk about those days when you learned how to make that pasta, when he got sick for eating it for a whole weekend. For some minutes he forgets the emptiness that was bothering him, until you talk again.

- Alex?... Why did you call? Talk to me.

He loudly sighs.

- Do you remember when we talked about the divorce?

- Of course. Why?

It's a bittersweet memory, you remember the day of that conversation, how he told you he wanted to divorce, why he wanted to leave and continue working far from home, it hurt and was painful, but you found the courage to understand and respect his motives.

- Well, you told me it was fine, that you would be okay, but now I don't know if I did the right thing, sometimes I want to go back. Do you think we made the right decision?

- You did..., we did. Listen, perhaps I never said this before but I signed those papers because... Alex, I love you, okay? and I'll always want you to be the best version of yourself, even if that means to stay behind or admire you from afar.

Both stay in silence, you're smiling, you understand, he wanted to hear something like that. He wanted to hear you're still supporting him.

Both are still on the call, talking about your work, how many people you saved, you even talked about the new grocery store and the prices, he told you about a funny joke Farrah made some nights ago, modification he did in a gun, he feels better when you're laughing, when you're talking, he's good knowing everything is cool between you two.

[n3m3r]

I really hate when my parents are like "ALL YOU EVER WANT TO FUCKING EAT IS RAMEN AND FUCKING MAC AND CHEESE" but like, you are literally the one who suggests that I eat what stuff when you don't want to make me food. I can't cook my own food because you won't teach me and the stove always has something on top of it then you complain about stuff being on top of it and not being able to do anything.

Also, when we do buy fruit or veggies, it's always when I either don't want them or when I'm too exhausted to do anything and I just got yelled at for being exhuasted and not wanting to do anything. Yes, I love fruits and veggies, I love that shit, but I like literally can't get myself to get up and do anything, so I'm not going to eat them. With strawberries, I have to cut the top off, then cut them in half, which I don't want to do half of the time and I just want them pre fut like that so I set it up with blueberries and enjoy from fruits.

My parents buy me a lot of ramen, like 5 to 10 boxes of ramen when they go grocery shopping and they get me a lot of velveeta cheese to put on bowtie pasta or elbows (not very good on elbows) and then complain that I don't want to eat anything else. Like, stop buying it then?!?! Come on! It feels like I can't even live around them because I am always doing the wrong thing.

Don't even get me started on how much more they hurt than me. I once complained to my mother about my shoulder hurting and then she went on a whole ass rant about how her shoulder as been hurting for 12 years and I will be fine and shouldn't be complaining. My fucking bad that I want to feel better, like sorry that you are in pain, but I don't care when I am in pain. I bet if I got shot and was crying over the pain, my parents would just brush it off or complain about how much more they hurt than I do. Please just help me feel better, I don't want to always be in pain.

Back to the food part, I also love smoothies and I told mama that we could've used the bananas we had on the counter for smoothies and she suddenly got annoyed at me, saying, "why didn't you tell me you wanted smoothies twhen we were shopping?!" THE FUCKING BANANAS REMINDED ME OF SMOOTHIES. MY FUCKIGN BAD THAT I DON'T REMEMBER EVERTHING WHRN WE ARE FUCKING SHOPPING.

And when we have a lot of food and I have barely eaten all day, I will go up for seconds or thirds, and my dad will comment something like, "you go more piglet?" And makes pig noises, I know he is joking, but it really hurts my feelings. I am already so self-conscious and your stupod fucking Comment is going to make me not want to eat anymore. I already over eat because you yell at us for not finishing our food and my sister has learned how to hide her food in the trashcan because she is afraid of being yelled at.

I hate my parents so much, yet I don't know if my sister and I should call the cops from how they treat us, because they have done way worse at some point and I'm afraid my dad might snap at one of us one day and kill us all. I know this is probably an overreaction on my part, but I'm just really scared here and I don't know what to do.

[beneathsilverstars]

you could. probably think if some characters are texture eaters and if so which textures they would prefer or what reactions they'd have over disliked textures

@kimdokjafan replied

I would love to hear what you have to say about the party's food preferences! Things like favorite food, things they dislike/won't eat

i started answering this anon and then got this reply, so i'll combine them. got really long lol, food is such a complex topic!

bonnie enjoys the multi-textured fish head, so they're probably big on texture! i think they're starting to have enough cooking experience to get put off when a texture isn't correct. like the problem isn't the texture itself but rather that rice should not be like that, they overcooked it, yuck, ugh! they would probably make a new batch if possible. however, they're also used to eating what you have because it's all you have — sometimes the nice neighbor drops off her shitty mac n cheese and it's better than nothing, or you mix up salt and sugar for today's bread but you're almost out of flour — so they'll try to come up with a new use for the fucked-up batch where the weird texture works better, or just eat it themself. unpleasant, but better than serving it to someone else or wasting it! as for what they enjoy the most: lots of different textures mixed together, like a salad or deluxe burrito. and chewy things!

we know bonnie's favorite foods are pineapple, rice, and samosas. i'd say they love sweet things as most kids do, but they're really starting to prefer a little more complexity to their sweet treats, like the tart acidity of pineapple. rice is a great favorite bc it's a comforting plain staple, but it can also be used in such a variety of dishes, as the entire base or to add texture! bonnie likes spicy, sour, etc... bring on the flavor! honestly i don't think there's many ingredients they don't like, it's more often a case of that flavor doesn't go there, why would you do that??? maybe they haven't grown into bitter vegetables yet.

siffrin also likes the fish head, so they really enjoy a fun texture, and they like trying new foods as they travel — but when they don't like something they hate it. but they also hate to raise a fuss! so if they're eating with other people, they'll try to just eat around the offending element without making it too obvious that's what they're doing, and then claim they're just not that hungry. if they're by themself, they'll spit it out and rinse out their mouth and eat something crunchy. they don't like tomatoes, which is convenient bc they also don't like when sandwich bread gets soggy at all. they don't like mushrooms or caramalized onion. they enjoy super crunchy things and a nice thick soup!

we know malanga fritters are presumably his favorite. i think he likes mashed potatoes too. fish, of course, and hearty stews. he loves clam chowder! he used to be a big sweet pastries fan, but post-canon he pivots to fruity sweetness bc he can't stand caramel-marshmallow-candy sweetness anymore, and even fruit's on thin ice. most of his disliked foods are about the texture, not the taste. but he's also really sensitive to associations - if he coincidentally gets sick after eating something, eats something badly seasoned, etc, it'll put him off of that taste for a while even if he doesn't remember why.

iirc isabeau wasn't into the fish head. he likes simpler and more predictable foods! he gets yucked out by overripe fruits, but luckily it's usually pretty easy to tell if a fruit will be good. if he does accidentally bite into a bad one, he makes a face and swallows it as quickly as possible, and asks if anyone else wants the rest before he donates it to the local wildlife. he likes fluffy breads and nuts! he's the kind of guy to pack a stack of pb&js and an apple for lunch every day, just buying a different flavor of jam each time he runs out. he doesn't like anything too spicy or bitter! probably a cheese fiend too.

mirabelle isn't super particular about textures, but she is pickier about tastes; she doesn't like a couple common vegetables, like green beans and cooked carrots, and a couple common sauces, like mustard and marinara. she doesn't like nuts, but sometimes eats them anyway because they're so popular in dormont's house for some reason and she gets tired of refusing to eat them, and now she sorta hates them even more but also will absentmindedly stand there munching on them? in general if she doesn't like a food she's served she'll still try to eat enough to be polite, but sometimes can't manage it. some foods she loves are honey, olives, and apple pie. she does love plums too, but it's less that they're objectively her favorite taste and more that they're her thing. it's fun having a thing!

odile likes delicate textures like flaky pastries and watermelon, and doesn't like purely glop-based foods like oatmeal, though it's tolerable with a crunchy topping. she really enjoys a good meat, like a nice herby steak or buttery pork belly. she doesn't dislike sweets, but she doesn't indulge in them in often; when she does, she prefers lemony desserts or bitter chocolate. she finds most foods tolerable at least, and especially likes sharp flavors, like vinegar and vodka!

[petermorwood]

Here’s a dish from French Cooking Academy, another of my subscribed YouTube channels.

I like the business of stuffing each chunk of beef with a bit of garlic and bacon; I’ve done this with lamb, using garlic and lemon. Another interesting detail is the use of cinnamon, suggesting a way-back-when influence either from the Moors or having access to spices as they passed through from Dpain Spain or North Africa on the way to somewhere else.

Kokkinisto (Greek) and Tajine (Morocco) also use cinnamon - and cloves, and nutmeg, and ginger etc. etc. depending on recipe. I’ve made both, they’re really excellent.

@dduane​ and I got Very Interested because the use of what Mum used to call “cake spices” is also quite medieval and, in DD’s case, adaptable for the Middle Kingdoms project.

The Corsican one recommends rigatoni, cannelloni or similar large hollow pasta (presumably to hold lots of sauce!) For a more medieval approach I’d try Loseyns from late-1300s cookbook “The Forme of Cury” (that’s “cookery” without the k, so “coo’rey” not “curry”.)

*****

These are often regarded as Richard II-era ”lasagne”, though I wonder if there’s also an association with heraldic “lozenges”, easily created by cutting a sheet of pasta dough slantwise...

Either way, here’s “Tasting History with Max Miller” (subscribed of course!) having a go at Loseyns, which turn out like mac & cheese with extra spices.

Max ended up eating them with a stick because forks hadn’t been introduced yet, but IMO a better utensil would be the historical eating pick, like one of these.

...or even a spoon, especially if the loseyns were cut small with that in mind.

However eating pasta with the fingers - like many other foods - may have been done in the 1300s; it was certainly recorded in paintings from the 1600s...

...right up to the 1800s...

...though I don’t think these were dressed with anything more than oil or butter and some grated cheese, and the potential for messy eating was still pretty high. Eating small pasta rather than dangly strands with the fingers was probably much tidier, especially if diners knew the proper etiquette for doing it...

Finally, here’s something from our own store-cupboard, bought out of curiosity during a recent visit to Polonez in Dublin.

This is pasta cut into little squares; both the front and the back of the pack calls them łazanka...

...and according to Google Translate, this just means “pasta noodles”.

However...

Can any followers tell me if "łazanka” has any relationship to “lasagna” or “lozenge”? An enquiring mind wants to know! :->

ETA: @seriously-mike​ says “...łazanki were brought to Poland in 16th century by queen Bona Sforza (so) the relationship with lasagna might be there.” See his Reply for more info.

ETA (2): A little bell went off in my head about the shapes in the bag and I suddenly remembered seeing them as something call “torn pasta” - the Italian word is “maltagliati“ - which were made using re-rolled scraps of dough from “formal” shapes; more info at that link.

[mynameisjag]

Drabble: Holiday Feast

Characters: Gambit, Jean, Scott

“How can you be one of the most powerful mutants and still be a basic white woman?!”

“It just needs some salt and a dash of pepper.”

“It needs Kurt in here giving it a farewell eulogy and a blessing so it won’t come back to haunt us when I throw it out the window. Cause whatever is in that pot, it is not food.”

“Its edible!”

“Poisonous mushrooms are edible but most people have enough sense not to stick them in their mouth!”

“Are you saying my cooking is deadly to eat?!”

“It's cursing us being in the same room with it!”

At this point Jean was standing near her pot of…something…arms out like she was a goalie and she was trying to stop Remy from snatching it off the counter and throwing it out the window like he said he would do earlier.

Said man was pointing a large ladle at her, “If the X-men are to die, it ain’t going to be because of some terrible cooking not when Gambit can stop such misfortunes from happening!”

“Its fine! There is nothing wrong with my cooking!”

Both of them turned to glare at the door slowly opening and Scott peeking in, hiding most of his body behind the door, “Everything okay?”

“Just peachy-“

“She is trying to curse us!”

“I am not! It’s goulash!��

“Oh, its definitely something ghoulish.”

Scott slowly moved back out of the room, “I’ll just-“

“Scott, love, you like my cooking right?”

“Don’t ask him, the two of you match perfectly in everything including thinking salt is too spicy!”

At this point Scott was slowly closing the door behind him, flinching as the sound of what sounded like pots and pans being thrown across the room. One must know what battles to pick and this was one he wasn’t going to get involved in.

There was a loud angry screech and more words yelled in Cajun French followed by another bang.

He wondered the mansion would be up for ordering in or if that would just focus “the chefs” wrath on him instead...

The door thumped as something hit it from the other side hard and a liquid started oozing from the bottom.

“You know what…pizza sounds good.”

This was inspire by two things, a scene from the TAS show (I think it was a holiday special, can't remember off the top of my head), where Jean and Remy where arguing in the kitchen and Gambit ends up with a pot of boiling something falling on him. He doesn’t react to the heat, though, even when what ever it was streaming before hand.

The other thing, is my sister, who can only make Mac and Cheese…and the one time she made a casserole, she asked her husband if it was good in front of the entire family and the poor guy looked like he just got news he was going to go fight in a war.

He told her he liked her Mac and cheese…she glared at him during the remainder of the family dinner.

[azucar-skull]

Tips on how to get cheap food:

As someone who has to steal, ration, and coupon my way through a family crisis, here are some tips to help you out too.

1) Stealing

Yes, stealing is unlawful but not unethical if you play your cards right. Don't go for local markets, attack big chain corporations do to some real damage.

3 things are required to pull this off successfully. 1, keep items to a minimum. 2, use self-checkout. 3, shop during the rush hour.

In my case, there's a chain supermarket nearby a high-school. When the students are out for lunch, most head to the store and the place gets waaaay too packed for staff to supervise self-checkout. I use a basket and grab what I need and then go to self checkout and scan only 1 item (usually a $0.50 sauce cup). I save roughly $20 during each visit.

2) Coupons

Ever received coupons in the mail? Hold onto them. Remember the expirations. And map out your orders wisely.

For me, I use Fetch Awards to earn gift cards from time to time. Idgaf if it's a ploy to seller consumer information for advertising, that shit fucking works and honestly I just need food ffs.

I currently have a $10 gift card for Panera where I'm going to buy me a big baguette sandwich and Mac n cheese. A $24 order for the price of $14 and it'll last me 5 meals when rationed.

3) Too Good To Go

TGTG is an app that helps prevent good waste. Local businesses that have "sell-by-date" foods, would make a surprise goodie bag of whatever leftovers they have and sell them for like $5 instead of $20. You get cheap dinner for the night and help prevent food waste. A win-win for everyone.

4) Rationing

You know how GEM Casey had to ration? Yeah. Guess who he got his skills from...

Know your limits and what you can handle. For my disabled folk, this one will be very hard. But still possible.

For me, I can't eat a lot in one sitting and I use this to my advantage. I meant it when I said my usual Panera order would last me 5 meals, my stomach is tiny lmfao. If I space my meal time correctly, I can get by on 1 or 2 meals a day.

*This is borderline ARFID eating disorder. If anyone has seen my tiktoks from pre-pandemic you could see a major difference in my shape. That was because I used to ration 1 meal a day and a "meal" would be microwave popcorn. Please be careful when rationing or else you will slip into ARFID just like me and GEM Casey. Only resort to this method when it's your only option left.

Bonus:

It helps if you dress somewhat decent. Unfortunately, those in poor clothing are almost immediately kicked out or kept a close suspicious eye on because they look homeless and have no money and will probably steal. In a world with every person for themselves, if you are able to, dress decent enough so that you don't stand out. It'll lower suspicion.

.

Those are my tips on eating cheap. Good for college students lmfao. Also dw about me, I'm okay. Yes, supplies are low again, but like I said I'm gonna steal from the store today and go to Panera. So I'll have..*does math* 25 meals for the price of $14.60--

Damn! Ikr? I'll be fine, dw. 😎👍