#god i miss the mom she used to be
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oh...
#i really wish my mom could have called me her daughter at least once before she died#but that's something she never would have done...#god i miss the mom she used to be#before she got all angry and bigoted#i remember her being so supportive of Chaz Bono#she used to be safe. she used to like queer people. she had lesbians offering to be with her and she genuinely considered it#but she changed and became more Christian and more judgemental and more angry#i told her i was trans a couple months before she died and she said 'no you arent' and then made it about her#sorry for using tumblr for sharing things i should probably talk to a therapist about#vent
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Thinking a bit more about this Steve Has Older Siblings AU I’ve got going on (here, here, and here). Specifically about Richard Harrington’s first wife, and two things:
1. She’s a saint. Theresa Kline (former Harrington) stood by her husband through multiple extramarital affairs but a not-quite-yet nineteen year old mistress with a baby was her breaking point. She bowed out gracefully.
Richard married his mistress and Theresa moved on. She never said a bad word about him to her kids or to anyone. She never spat an insult at the child that ruined her marriage or about her baby boy.
Though, she didn’t have to.
Her kids said enough bad things about Steve and his mom on her behalf to fill a book. They never miss an opportunity to remind Steve that while both their parents were from two of Hawkins’ more influential and wealthy families, his mother was a high school dropout homewrecker and a whore that didn’t love him.
Even after his siblings tried fixing their relationship with him, they all still take shots at his mom. Jason’s favorite analogy seems to be that him and his siblings are ‘purebred’ and Steve is a ‘mutt.’
Or, well. It was until Robin heard it and said, “Pure? Like the Nazi’s ideology?? Yikes.”
2. I realize that this AU does not really contradict anything important in the Officer Noodles (and also here) universe. You’d just have to make Angela Harrington Callahan’s little sister.
#I think there’s another officer noodles post out there but god forbid my blog let me see something I posted#I think Theresa would’ve always been really nice to Steve when there were functions that both families had to attend#but Steve’s parents talked so negatively about her that he was always kinda suspicious#she would send a Christmas gift with the kids for him when they did the holiday with their dad#it was hit or miss if he actually received it#he used to kinda wish she was his mom but then would feel so bad about it that it’s make him feel sick#steve harrington#stranger things#phil callahan#Officer noodles#Steve Has Older Siblings AU
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Toei does not like Vegeta part #12849, this is their Vegebul moment.
vs Toriyama's Vegebul moment:
I will continue complaining under the cut (with additional samples)
toei's vegebul moment:
Toriyama's Vegebul moment:
toei's:
toriyama's:
ykwim??
I'm don't even want to talk about how bad they fucked up the Goku Black arc from what I can tell so far so just have this instead
LIKE THEY EVEN CHANGED WHERE VEGETA WAS SITTING??
WHY?
FOR WHO??
ANYWAY it's fine if you like the anime I'm just gently loudly suggesting reading the manga if you're a fan of Vegeta and Bulma separately and/or together
#Toei loves writing him hesitant and Toriyama is like 'no Vegeta will headbutt god for his wife in public he's just not used to PDA yet'#the GB arc is literally. like. Vegeta's Entire Motivation in that plot is Trunks telling him Zamas killed Bulma#and Vegeta wanting to beat that man To Death on Live TV#And then Trunks telling Vegeta how much his mom loved him and missed him and Vegeta being so emotional about it he instigates fusion#And Bulma jumping him when he gets home because Bulma does love and miss him so so much and in the Very Next Arc she's pregnant#anywaY READ THE MANGA IF YOU HAVEN'T IT'S GOOD SHIT IDK WHAT TOEI'S DOING#PLUS you'll get to meet Vegeta's boyfriend Granolah and I think Bulma would approve of it and invite him over for a fun weekend#dbtag#idek what to tag this#media crit#i guess
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i know i said i was happy about how mel's story went, but the more i think about it the less i'm sure about that. this is very much connected to how the themes of classism and wealth disappeared in s2, but mel in the beginning was the epitome of piltover. she wanted to advance piltover to prove herself to her mother. to "put piltover—" and by extension herself, "—on the map."
she wanted wealth just to have it. and i'm not blaming her for anything that happened, especially with hextech! she, just like jayce and viktor, could not have known what it would lead to. i mean yeah heimerdinger said so but who the hell listens to heimerdinger? but anyway i think mel changed throughout s1, much in thanks to jayce. by the end she's become more cognisant of the mistreatment of zaunites. she's the first to vote for their peace. she was a good person all along but now she knows how to act on it. it's also seen more in s2 act 1. when she covers her painting with gold, it's symbolic—she won't act according to what her mother might think. she won't let her desire for approval dictate her anymore.
so somehow i wish those themes were. continued, somehow? like again they were dropped not just with mel but the whole show and it makes her story a off to me. there's no meaningful commentary on war or classism or how her ideology stands opposite to her mother's. like some people have said, it feels like she doesn't have much agency, even if she is really cool. and that to me is a shame because agency felt like her thing. "to shape your own destiny" as she says to jayce in s1. i know her collaborating with the black rose (but not fully joining them) and learning magic is supposed to represent becoming independent from her mother, taking her own path, but some other aspects of her character were thrown away... the more i think about it the more i'm thinking they kind of #girlboss-ed her a little bit. maybe to sell another champion. i can't help but feel like even though i enjoyed seeing her on screen, the payoff didn't feel proportionally satisfying compared to her setup in s1.
#mel medarda#her characteristics; the whole point of her dichotomy with her mom;#is that she does not use violence. she fights and controls with words.#with her intelligence. with her knowledge of people and their minds.#so now thinking about it i'm a little :/ that not only#did we not get to see a lot of that in s2#but she just. became another fighter?#i also know there was that whole thing about how mages aren't accepted in noxus but#honestly? kind of stupid. magic violence is still violence.#and i know arcane retcons a lot of things but.#the lore noxus. was not like that iirc. and it feels like a strange thing to just make up.#done in service just to make mel a Cool Badass Mage™ while still saying#hey guys! she's still different from her mom don't worry!#also. hey. hey. why is she going back to noxus. can someone to explain that to me#like ok i know it's her only connection left. i kinda understand.#but at the same time...? what. is she gonna do there#i know sevimel is a crackship but i kinda wished she stayed in piltover to help#better things for zaunites. and help sevika on the council#(god knows she needs it)#that might have been a fitting conclusion to her character. to me!#look i cant lie and say i hated watching mel be all badass like. she's awesome.#but character writing wise... kind of let down?#we didn't even get to know more about her past or where she's from.#and yes i know they're prolly going to explain it in the new show because they were noxusbaiting hard.#but man... i don't know...#sorry holy shit that's a lot of words.#if anyone has any opinions would love to hear them. still very conflicted on this whole thing.#it just feels like i'm missing something.#arcane
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kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.
and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.
and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?
hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.
it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh
#genuinely begging for discussion on this bc im too tired to think about it anymore but i think it's cool#yyh#yu yu hakusho#also apologies if any of the atsuko stuff's iffy im anime-only </3 i skimmed the wiki but. it's the wiki so grain of salt#atsuko urameshi#shizuru kuwabara#shiori minamino#keiko yukimura#genkai#yyh meta#<- i never tag stuff w that but i probably should..#this is making me a little emo about all of them but on the side more quietly kurama bc like. bro he loves his mom so much and he can't tel#her ANYTHING. houghhh she will never ever know him she will live and die within his lifetime and not know any of the big beautiful terrible#life of his that she's missed. god that fucking sucks dude wait#anyway something that's only grown in importance to me is how prickly the relationships in yyh can be. like damn they do love each other#and it's even mostly a good thing. but sometimes that means you're shitty to each other. sometimes you're not great at it yk#and the characters therein are complicated and flawed without feeling like it's a huge focus. like plenty of media go here's these fucked u#guys look at how they scuttle and that's cool fr but with yyh it feels so subtle and gentle and real. it's so personal and human and i love#it. even when it means hiei doesn't reunite with the gang at the end or when genkai never tells yusuke what he means to her#y'know? that stuff used to hurt me and now it hurts me in a good touching 'god i love people' kinda way. yeah
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I've been gone for a while. Cambe back to make a post because I'm. Fucking drunk. And really fucking angry at a lot of fucking people. So I shoved that loooong angryass essay in my drafts and am making this one less inflammatory
who else up doin some advanced substance abuse and crying. the person at the gas station gave me a hug and some free reeses bc I came in crying to get more smokes and a fountain drink for the rest of my bourbon. Alexis u da MVP
cheers, friends. My mom and some friends didn't survive the last go round, here's hoping more of us survive this time
#us politics#my wife already said she's going back in the closet. we all are#we're jn deep red territory with no wat out and nowehree to go#we have no choice#alcohol tw#tw alcohol#i am. devastated and SO FUCKING ANGRU#FFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK#i miss my fucking mom dude. god fucking dammit
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Whenever I feel bad about symptoms from my illnesses, I think of my sibling's horse growing up, whose name was Batman and who was so allergic to grass he had to be wrapped up like a christmas present every summer to prevent rashes. I don't know if that makes me feel better exactly, but if Batman could cope and continue to mosey around like the gentle old man he was, then maybe I can cope with being completely bedridden certain days.
#idk ANY english horse terms but if you google gotlandsruss thats the type of horse he was#he was such a sweet darling we have no idea who gave him the name Batman of all things#he came to us when he was 14#most of the horses we had when i grew up were named by us since they were born in our stables#but then you get the occasional ones such as Batman or Duchess Kash#(idk what the sport is called in english. harness racing? anyway thats the type of horse duchess was)#as the name implies she was a huge diva. super sweet with me and my sibling though! an angel!#which just proves she knew how to behave with others she just chose not to <3 just like Mirka#god i miss horses. and i miss harness racing. but mostly i just miss cuddling with horses and tending to them#on one hand its nice to not have to worry so much for their well being. and it IS a lifestyle or at least it was for me.#sometimes i dream of having like 2 or 3 shetland ponies just to dote on and go out with on walks#or like 2 swedish ardennes to put a cart behind like mom did with willmar a couple years back#those are so iconic for their long history in my village. not the only place of course. but its still so notable here#maybe one day who knows.......#im rambling idk why#silvi talks
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Fuck all of y'all in Florida how dare you misrepresent my liberal king that man loves women (not in that way) and he would not STAND for this smh
#yk damn well he'd make the vague but absolutely not vague threats and then actually follow through on them#HE WOULD NOT MISS!!!!!!!#anyways this week has sucked so bad dear god#the cold I've had for a month has apparently been pneumonia#And I coughed so hard I TORE A FUCKING MUSCLE in my ribs and I could barely move for days and had to sleep in a recliner#also finally got diagnosed with adhd but found out all my old teachers told my mom they think I have it and I should get tested but NOOOOOOO#SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT#there literally couldn't have been a clearer sign than when I almost failed fourth grade because I couldn't turn in my homework on time#The election obviously my immediate family are full Kamala but my grandparents are VERY Trump#Oh and my brothers therapist told us he apparently has the most severe case of executive dysfunction he's seen in his 30 years of working#He literally told us to just take him out of college and let him live at home forever because he won't be able to finish school#because of it so THAT'S gonna be fun since my dad said if he ever tries to come live back here he'll throw him out on the streets#THIS IS JUST IN A WEEK#WHO IS MY OPP I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I DON'T DESERVE THIS FANFIC WRITER ASS LORE#LEAVE ME ALONE 😭#red vs blue#rvb#rooster teeth#rvb florida#election 2024
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Will there be actual persona in the PMD? Will this weird Luxio who is standing on two feet just whip out a demon from hell? Its just very funny to me, but I am not two sure how closely these worlds will collide.
Im very excited for this because pmd is very important to me. Im going to have fun either way <3
OMG Akira with Arsène here would go fucking crazeyyyyyyyy but ALAS I wanna keep it to just the Pokémon universe right now ;w; !!
not saying he won’t remember Arsène at some point and desperately call out for him …. even though he won’t appear ……………. not saying that at alll….. ehehehe
ALSO HELL YEAAHSSSSS THANK U SO MUCH FOR ENJOYING !!! I’m so glad to see people reblogging and tagging saying PMD is an important part of their lives bc BRO YES ME TOO LIKE!!! My copy of explorers of sky doesn’t WORK because I played it TOO MUCH and wore out the GROOVES ON THE GAME CHIP LIKE,,,, GOD I love this game I love this game so muchhhhhhhh ooooooooooooo
all my love for you anon,,,, pmd blood run deep
#pmd#p5 pmd au#ask#i was in LITERALLY every big PMD group on DeviantArt…..#pmde….. pmdu…….. god so many……#the pmd lore run so deep#i miss my teams so bad#i named my version of Akechi’s mom after one of my pmd mons I’m not even joking#miyu chu you will forever be famous I love you girlie#and SHE was based on my psmd team. God I LOVE POKEMON MYSTERY DUNGEON RAAAAAAAAHHHHH#love my pmd bros#y’all are the goats we are the goats of the pokemom fandom no one’s doin it like us#I LOVE MY PMD PEOPLE AAAAAAAAAA
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I started reading Lord of the Rings (bought Fellowship of the Ring like… last spring but never got around to starting) and I’d just like to say. Holy fuck what a slow book. You mean to tell me I’m over a hundred pages in and this man is only just leaving the Shire? Sign me up for MORE I love this shit. Tolkien said “I will take exactly as much time as I want to describe things and you will like it”. AND I DO
#i can already tell this is the sort of thing that’s going to be so good I’ll never recover from it#I’ve watched the movies like casually-in-the-background a couple times so I know the approximate plot#(they often run on TV somewhere around Christmas and New Year’s in Sweden so they’ve been on more than twice)#but there’s so much detail here that’s just… missed out on… in the films#Or I forgot about it lmfao#Either way loving the book detail#And also reading a book for the first time in months i told my mom id been reading today and she was like YOURE READING?!#It’s part of my social media healing process. Forcing me to like… sit down and take shit in#Used to DEVOUR books when I was younger#Just Kinda Stopped at some point (much like every other former gifted kid)#But it’s a well missed moment of escapism and calm and centering myself. meditative almost#I find lotr to be good also because it’s like… a little heavy. You can read a chapter and then sit with it for a little while#Im not quite reaching the heavy cliffhangers yet either#Each chapter feels pretty concluded#It’s a healthier reading method I feel than the ‘devour in one night then don’t read for 6 months’ thing I did in high school#the few times i DID sit down to read a book#God damn those are some long tags#z talks#not horse game#I feel so late to the party because I always see all these people enjoying lotr ;-; its so established and here am i….#but alas
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Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness
#vent#<- slightly? not that strongly? this is a pretty chill post like. I feel pretty chill#but also :( sad#I miss my family and friends at home#I haven’t really talked to my roommates#including the one who’s been my friend since high school bc she’s been sick (?) for the past few days#and this semester is definitely going to be A Lot#I got accepted into another choir but I’m most likely not joining bc my schedule is so packed#but the main thing is#I FEEL LIKE A BABY#my parents never really made me cook or clean and I just feel kinda useless#I’m just gonna have to force myself to learn which is fine#and my parents have offered to walk me through stuff over the phone when they can#but idk I just feel really immature bc like. damn I am 20 and don’t know how to cook Anything#I’m gonna go grocery shopping either tonight or tomorrow and get some sandwich supplies and other non-cooking stuff#so we are not completely doomed lol#also I need to do laundry tomorrow.. which. I can do and have done before. but I’m still gonna call my mom for guidance 😅#idk I think the main thing that’s stressing me out is spending money on food vs. groceries#and trying to eat at least some protein and fruits/vegetables etc. while also not spending exorbitantly#bc I am SOOOO irrationally anxious about money. I hate hate hate spending money#so the whole idea of grocery shopping is just kind of filling me with dread 🥲#but I will do it bc I need to Adult at some point#I just. idk I guess most students do this and I’m being whiny about it bc I’m not used to it??#but it just feels like So Much to be taking five classes and doing a bunch of extracurriculars and living on my own for the first time!#like! ahhh! too much at once!#😰😰😰#and I need to get an internship soon 😀 and if I don’t get one this semester I need to at least get a job so I can stress less about money 😀#but I always stress about money regardless 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 even though I have scholarships savings etc 😀😀 ocd things! 😁 (🥲)#thank god for my meds and the thought that I’ll be starting therapy in the next week or two#and also my mom for being like the sweetest wver
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#tw abuse#hi#im just lying down in the dark on a rainy day and need to vent here because I can’t get myself to journal#today i miss my mom so so much#I miss who she was before the drugs and alcoholism#she can be so nurturing and generous and kind when she’s not using#she couldn’t be the mother she was capable of being because of her addiction and severe mental health issues#I was emotionally and physically abused til I was 16 and the thing is#I don’t have hate or resentment for her#I only want the best for her#I just ache inside knowing that because she’s still in denial and addiction and we can’t have a relationship#I have no immediate family left and my extended family aren’t the nicest people#lately my ptsd has been triggered a lot and old trauma has been resurfaced#witnessing an incredible amount of domestic violence growing up still fucks with my head#it was so scarring#won’t get into details there but god it really did a number on me#the bottom line is I miss who my mom was before the alcohol and abuse#and more importantly#I miss myself#I miss laughing until I cried#I miss not running from everything#I miss letting myself feel#personal
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sry my beef eith that pastor is unending i fucking hate that guy like ugh . he soent maybe 5 minutes talking abt the actual ppl who actually died and then spent 2 hours just preaching and telling us we were all going to hell. is that how it is at all christian funerals. protestant i think if that means anything.
#like he tried to talk himself up abt how close he was eith alda mae and didnt even pronounce her fucking name righttt#and i remember talking with my papaw after granbys service and he was like I fucking hate that guy .#but its like her whole side of the family is buried in this one specific cemetery and her mom was at that funeral home and then a year later#alda mae went to that funeral home like. yk. its judt like The funeral home for that part of the family but god all of us fucking hate it#like nobody liked the service. even if the guy was aldas pastor maybe the extended family liked it better#but like. my immediate/immediate extended family (papaw cousins aunts uncles and then like. immediate) All of us were pissed w how grannys#funeral went. yk. UGH it made me so mad.#nd like. idk. idt thats what my granny would've wanted like . she was religious but i dont think she wouldve wanted the guy preaching to us#abt how we were going to hell. like i think she wouldve cussed him out DJFNFJNG. yk. my granny was not like. a good person . tbh.#tip if an older southern relative you rly rly rly love dies Donttt check their facebook bc yr sad and you miss them and just want to see#their face again. it will rly sour your opinion on them quite quickly. but yk. it did make me mad that service. bc i love my granny and that#service was justtt awful. but it was nice being in the cemetery yk. i cleaned up my great grand tombstone my aunt shae got to see her dad nd#everything. i still havent been able to actually see grannys proper tombstone outside of findagrave but i wanna try n visit this year . if#we get a car. you know. bc the picture is nice its a joint one for her and my papaw. who is not dead yet Obviously and hopefully wont be for#a longgg time hes young. i think hes like 60ish. so hes still got a while thank god. but mannn. wtvr.
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we have a client at work whose "type" is like black pitty mixes (she keeps getting them) and she came in w one the other day and my coworker was like "that's great cause there's that black dog syndrome" and the client was like "oh yeah i have that i love these black dogs" and my coworker was like "no it's about how black dogs are way less likely to get adopted in general" (i added "black cats too") and the client was like ??? WHAT???? FOR REAL??? i love that she's so obsessed w her (gorgeous, well behaved) dogs that she couldn't even conceive of a world where people didn't like them
#Work#Vet med is like. You really do see the WORST of humanity sometimes#Neglect abuse disinterest. You argue w some clients over 'does this dog need pain relief' or 'should you spay your dog w mammary tumors'#And it's super discouraging. Tons of burnout. BUT#You also get people like our client who exclusively rescues old/sick/unadoptable cats#She has like 10 at any given point in her huge immaculate house. All cared for perfectly. Clean. Amazing#You get people digging in their pockets for change for vaccines#Helps I work in a wealthy area too but god damn the love I see every day is genuinely healing#I do want to leave the field still (broke af) but there is so much joy and wonder and love and beauty in it#Also it's funny sometimes. One client used to bring her last dog in a lot (heart issues; now deceased)#And when she dropped him off for echoes or whatever she would say 'he loves large breasted women' AND HE DID????#Charlie I miss you. Your mom is fucking crazy but she loved you and I loved you. And you did love stacked women
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watched an unrelated to grief movie and am currently sobbing my eyes out bc theres a cat who is left behind by a family member who dies and it reminds me of plur which reminds me of tia. was going to rewatch midsommar in hopes of coming to terms with my grief through seeing it elsewhere but i dont think thats a good idea anymore. um yeah i dont even know what to do. i want to move into college already but i know its going to be so upsetting all over again when i come home and they arent here. its everywhere its all in my life and my home and i dont know how to deal with it at all. let alone move on
#i know its selfish and just not a healthy thing but it feels like ill only feel better if we get a new pet#not to replace them. but to give me something to focus on. and to give the love that i cant give to plur and tia to#it feels like somethings missing but it also feels like i have no way to fix it#i know how to deal with people dying but tia has been with me every day for years. we went to bed together every night in the old house#i miss her obnoxious snoring and how she would bark at me when it was bed time because i had to go upstairs if she wanted to go to bed#i miss how she would get so riled up after a bath and rub herself all over the floor#i didnt know plur for nearly as long but he also used to sleep with me every night#to the point where i called the chair in my room HIS chair#i miss looking over and seeing him looking more comfortable than i could ever aspire to be#i miss him yowling randomly in the middle of the night because he wants attention#and how he would lick you given then chance—as long as he could also knead#god and i miss plur and beerus together#its so clear beerus misses him and its so upsetting#he wont leave my side these days and its so worrying and it makes me so much more sad#its like- i miss plur and tia but more so i miss life with them#i miss seeing plur in my chair or digging him out from under my moms bed to give him his meds#and seeing tia sprawled in the most ridiculous ways in her bed#it was a part of my life and its just so much to lose all of it so fast i guess
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im GOING to write today ........ i WILL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the sky speaks#i havent used twitter in so long and lemme say i missed using tumblr like twitter. just putting my long rambly notes into a single post#anyways onto the rambling#i havent been writing or drawing like at alllll#too busy#also was so sick#but now that i have my new job and i know what my schedule is gonna sorta look like#3 days at joann 2 days cleaning w mom and 2 days nothin#PLUS i dont have to spend money on therapy til after the new year now#and mom is coming home and she seems rly optimistic abt sobriety#im feeling like i can finally create again !!!!#i have 2 creative presents i need to do before christmas#but aside that and 1 prompt still in my inbox (that i rly wanna do anyways) everything else i wanna do is all for Me :)#im kinda put out bc a lot of stuff i wanted to do this fall got shelved.. i wanted to make bday art of kirishima xinyan and kazuha.#i wanted to open comms. but im way too rusty w art rn to be confident doing that. maybe after new years?#god i wanted to come out to my parents properly. the day my mom went to rehab was national coming out day.#it was also one of my last therapy sessions. i came out to her instead#i still managed to do stuff tho. started my new job and got together with friends TWICE !! and i've kept up w doing my moms job alone#idk where im going w this anymore ive lost steam. but yeah. i wanna write today! idk what yet. i hav so many wips i could work on..
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