#but character writing wise... kind of let down?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
valzhangism ¡ 1 month ago
Text
i know i said i was happy about how mel's story went, but the more i think about it the less i'm sure about that. this is very much connected to how the themes of classism and wealth disappeared in s2, but mel in the beginning was the epitome of piltover. she wanted to advance piltover to prove herself to her mother. to "put piltover—" and by extension herself, "—on the map."
she wanted wealth just to have it. and i'm not blaming her for anything that happened, especially with hextech! she, just like jayce and viktor, could not have known what it would lead to. i mean yeah heimerdinger said so but who the hell listens to heimerdinger? but anyway i think mel changed throughout s1, much in thanks to jayce. by the end she's become more cognisant of the mistreatment of zaunites. she's the first to vote for their peace. she was a good person all along but now she knows how to act on it. it's also seen more in s2 act 1. when she covers her painting with gold, it's symbolic—she won't act according to what her mother might think. she won't let her desire for approval dictate her anymore.
so somehow i wish those themes were. continued, somehow? like again they were dropped not just with mel but the whole show and it makes her story a off to me. there's no meaningful commentary on war or classism or how her ideology stands opposite to her mother's. like some people have said, it feels like she doesn't have much agency, even if she is really cool. and that to me is a shame because agency felt like her thing. "to shape your own destiny" as she says to jayce in s1. i know her collaborating with the black rose (but not fully joining them) and learning magic is supposed to represent becoming independent from her mother, taking her own path, but some other aspects of her character were thrown away... the more i think about it the more i'm thinking they kind of #girlboss-ed her a little bit. maybe to sell another champion. i can't help but feel like even though i enjoyed seeing her on screen, the payoff didn't feel proportionally satisfying compared to her setup in s1.
#mel medarda#her characteristics; the whole point of her dichotomy with her mom;#is that she does not use violence. she fights and controls with words.#with her intelligence. with her knowledge of people and their minds.#so now thinking about it i'm a little :/ that not only#did we not get to see a lot of that in s2#but she just. became another fighter?#i also know there was that whole thing about how mages aren't accepted in noxus but#honestly? kind of stupid. magic violence is still violence.#and i know arcane retcons a lot of things but.#the lore noxus. was not like that iirc. and it feels like a strange thing to just make up.#done in service just to make mel a Cool Badass Mage™ while still saying#hey guys! she's still different from her mom don't worry!#also. hey. hey. why is she going back to noxus. can someone to explain that to me#like ok i know it's her only connection left. i kinda understand.#but at the same time...? what. is she gonna do there#i know sevimel is a crackship but i kinda wished she stayed in piltover to help#better things for zaunites. and help sevika on the council#(god knows she needs it)#that might have been a fitting conclusion to her character. to me!#look i cant lie and say i hated watching mel be all badass like. she's awesome.#but character writing wise... kind of let down?#we didn't even get to know more about her past or where she's from.#and yes i know they're prolly going to explain it in the new show because they were noxusbaiting hard.#but man... i don't know...#sorry holy shit that's a lot of words.#if anyone has any opinions would love to hear them. still very conflicted on this whole thing.#it just feels like i'm missing something.#arcane
28 notes ¡ View notes
shorthaltsjester ¡ 3 months ago
Text
re the first three tlovm s3 episode title teaser fr. vex getting [redacted] while standing in front of percy . i will undoubtedly have Thoughts about plot n adaption once the whole season is out but i will say people acting like vex potentially dying again is a betrayal of the arc is . i say this politely. ridiculous. vex’s most common habit aside from haggling and flirting in campaign 1 was being knocked unconscious. she required full ass resurrection spells on four separate occasions. we currently have no idea what the shape of any arc in season 3 will look like beyond broad strokes and teasing shots. if they end up wanting to incorporate the exandrian magic lore of it’s harder to come back each time you die, vex seems like the obvious opportunity to do so. please at the very least save the panic posting for when you actually have something to panic about .
95 notes ¡ View notes
tasmanianstripes ¡ 2 years ago
Text
Maybe it's the result of my main fandom for the majority of my life being one where canon just genuinely doesn't exist, where there are so many different canons and literally any sort of interpretation of a single character is correct and can range from a moronic maniac with a chainsaw to a depressed old asshole boss, but
Literally who gives a fuck about canon?
Especially when the character is practically a blank slate or if it's an AU
Like, I'm sorry, but if you're butthurt about a mischaracterisation of a fictional character in an Alternative Universe then I don't think you understand what an AU is
#thylacines can talk#Maybe that's the reason I do not have the same violent reaction to mischaracterisation 99% of fandom spaces seems to have#I genuinely think that getting butthurt over somebody not writing a fictional character exactly how they appear in canon is the stupidest#most juvenile pet peeve you could ever have. Literally WHY do you care so much? It's words on a screen. Calm down.#I think it's only a problem when you believe that it's canon or try to shove your own interpretation of a character or AUs onto everybody#else. Otherwise...literally who cares? Somebody else treating characters like dolls is not hurting me. I'm not about to get legitimately#annoyed over fictional characters in a children's cat book. Unless it's like. Bigoted. But then I criticise the person's beliefs not a#goddammed characterisation of a fictional character.#In the fandom I was in most of my life a trigger-happy clown with a chainsaw canon and an old deppressed asshole boss were seen as the same#character and only had like. One design detail in common. And literally nobody batted an eye. You could write a dynamic between two#characters being incredibly hateful and toxic and somebody else could write them as old friends or an old married couple and both of these#interpretations would be equally canon. A single guy could have two wildly different personalities and backstories and he'd still be#treated like the same character as long as the two looked vaguely similar physically wise. Sure there were interpretations of characters#that were more popular than others but literally the only people who would treat one specific interpretation as canon and shove that#interpretation onto everybody else would be people who came from different kinds of fandoms and let me tell you. They were annoying as fuck#So coming from that kind of fandom into more generic mainstream fandoms feels like such a culture shock. Genuinely cannot comprehend why#people care so much.#'oh this character is so far from canon they might as well make an oc' okay...cool...and?#Maybe they don't want to make an oc?? I mean come on. It's fictional characters. You're an adult. It's not a fucking English class#People don't come to fandoms to study book literacy they come here to have fun. Literally WHO CARES if somebody's interpretation of a#character has only name and looks common with the canon version. WHO CARES. ITS WORDS ON THE SCREEN. Who are they hurting if they're just#making AUs in their own corner and not shoving it in anyone's face?#Idk I just see a characterisation I don't agree with and just go oh. Kinda weird but go off. And move on.#This got longer than I meant it to but whatever#I mean if you have that pet peeve but aren't an asshole about it. It's also whatever. That opinion also doesn't hurt anybody. It's only#people who act so butthurt about it and shit on other people having fun that I have a problem with. If you put it on your own blog and#criticise that sort of content in your own space instead of coming to somebody and going 'hey. I don't like what you're doing'. Then I#couldn't care less. Again. That's kinda weird but go off#It's kind of like. I like horror but I dont care if you dont like horror and talk about it in your own space. But I'm gonna care if you#go up to horror fans and go 'hey I think horror sucks' or 'I dont like horror so you shouldn't either'.
22 notes ¡ View notes
fellhellion ¡ 2 years ago
Text
as a Rebecca enjoyer I would really like to see some options in book 4 digging into how little has changed if your detective is seeking or ambivalent to reconciliation, or the absence of apologies. As well as detectives who aren’t seeking/rejecting reconciliation but Rebecca cannot let go of anyways. Especially since we’ve now had one of the few times, according to the detective’s memory, Rebecca explicitly expressing regret for her actions.
#I kind of disagree w most people that the narrative is pushing you into forgiving her#kind of.#I think wayhaven’s writing style is intentionally pretty transparent to the reader on character motivations#even when they/the detective aren’t explicitly aware#there’s enough context clues to get an idea of what’s sitting underneath the surface#so I think the emphasis on Rebecca’s grief around her kid is more about telling the audience that her feelings on these matters ARE sincere#in nature. at least to how Rebecca interprets then#but what id enjoy seeing some more of in book 4 is the choice to pull open the conflicts happening here#Rebecca runs away AND engages w the detective irrespective of their wishes because she simultaneously cannot accept this relationship as#broken beyond repair AND is unable to acknowledge to herself the core issue to their relationship#the job was an obstacle yeah but the true conflict to their relationship is Rebecca’s avoidance w dealing w grief#and it results in what we see in either relationship state#I can’t let you go/I can’t believe it’s broken beyond repair <- can’t acknowledge what I chose to do#I can’t break down these walls/won’t spend time with you <- won’t acknowledge I ran away from you out of grief#and I think the next step narrative wise now that the tone to their relationship has gone through the big revalation arcs#is to start unpacking the WHYS#allow the detective to have those hard conversations and deal w whether Rebecca runs away from those or not#tunes talks wayhaven
24 notes ¡ View notes
em-writes-stuff-sometimes ¡ 4 months ago
Note
OMG no way are you going to write an AU of Daemon's visions at Harrenhal??? I know its AAAAAGES away from where you are in the current story but desperate hos wanna kno ;)
Ask, and ye shall receive!
Tumblr media
until i bleed myself dry
Tumblr media
Note: This is technically using the characters/characterisation I have established in my terms of endearment series, but really you only need to know that the Reader is Rhaenyra's younger sister and that, instead of marrying Laena, he spent a decade ho-ing it up in Pentos before coming home and getting dazzled by his niece before deciding to wife dat gurl.
WARNING: Please note this is dark, dark stuff. Discretion is advised. Please use your judgement wisely before engaging.
Triggers: graphic depictions of violence, violence against children, character d*ath, MAJOR hallucinations, sexual scenes including visibly underaged character/s.
Tumblr media
There is something fucking wrong with this place.
Daemon feels like a skittish child as he withdraws to his chambers, covers drawn up to his neck like the fabric will keep away the very worst of midnight evils. He does not know if the steady drip, drip, drip he hears is in his head or if the stone ceiling is cracked enough to let through the rain. Knowing Harrenhal, he would hardly be surprised by the latter. Still, the noise only serves to speed the racing of his thoughts, turning them fearful as he has not felt since the weakness of his youth.
In this moment, he curses his own doings. If he had stayed his hand—if he had held his tongue—the boy would not be dead, and mayhaps you would not be so wroth with him. He would not be alone in this shithole of a keep a world away, chilled to the bone and miserable as he thinks of you warm and safe in your bed with the children. Without him.
When he finally falls asleep, he dreams.
He knows it is a dream, for he can hear your humming. Soft, sweet, the kind of tune you sing to Daeryx after one of his tantrums. His head lifts from the pillow and he finds himself back in your shared rooms on Dragonstone, eyes finding you in the chair by the hearth. Your hair, unbound, shines like molten amber in the firelight, swaying softly as you tend to business that is concealed from his gaze. Enthralled, he rises, making his way to you.
Drip, drip, drip.
He pauses. That sound… it doesn’t belong here. He calls your name. You ignore him. He moves closer, tentative.
“Come look,” you murmur suddenly, startling him. “Come, kepus.”
His feet move unbidden, out of his control.
Bile pools at the back of his throat, gut curdling at the sight of the boy—the boy—cradled in your lap. You and he are wet with blood, and it drip, drip, drips to the floor, echoing eerily. His eyes are open, face petrified, and Daemon realises that the dark at his neck is not in fact a shadow but a gaping wound, made jagged by the weapon used.
You look up at him, skin shining with sweat and expression exultant. “Look at him, kepus. Look at what you made.”
Memory flashes—he brings his son back down to rest beside his daughter on your lap, two moonshine miracles side by side. “Look at them, kepus,” you whisper, spellbound. “Look at what we made”—and his lungs constrict. You make to lift the child up, but the movement jostles his head off its perch, and it rolls to the ground to stop by his feet. He cannot move. He is frozen, horrified.
You smile, tucking the headless corpse under your chin. Gore pulses against your throat as your chin settles to the yawning maw of the child’s open neck. You rock in your seat, a faint squelch each time your shifting weight disturbs the sodden cushion beneath you.
“I love him,” you whisper, lips pressing to where flesh meets innards. Your mouth comes away red. “I love him so much.”
Daemon awakens with a yell. He swallows once, twice, and then—
He leans over the side of the bed, retching violently. When it is over, he curls up on his side, shaking, staring at his hands. They are wet with blood.
Tumblr media
It does not take long for terror to settle in his bones like a longtime companion. It follows him each day, in every waking moment, manifesting in strange visions that he knows—he knows—must be untrue, cannot possibly be real, and yet… And yet. There is a sort of verity in them.
Dark Sister feels like a leaden weight at his hip as he stalks the keep, a reminder of his earlier encounter with Rhaenyra. Only she was not the Rhaenyra he knows, and instead a strange sort of blend of child-queen, the face of the girl peering out accusingly from under her father’s too-large crown, exclaiming all manner of hurt as she stepped from the Iron Throne upon which she perched.
“You put me on that throne. And you love me, and you hate me for it. You created me, Daemon. Yet you are now set on destroying me. All because your brother loved me more than he did you.”
And, without warning, he had taken his blade up in arms and struck off her head, a puppet on strings pulled by another. As her body fell, it morphed into the boy again. Jaehaerys. The child he had murdered. He heard your humming even while Simon Strong’s voice filtered through his unconscious mind, alerting him of the raven that just arrived.
The healer woman’s concoctions have helped little. He still wakes to strange noises, still finds himself stalking after his monstrous one-eyed nephew down the halls, only to find that it is himself he is pursuing. He hears the words you yelled at him in that last great quarrel— “get away, leave before you turn on us and murder us like you murdered that boy”—interspersed with the sound of your screams, and perhaps they are the screams you let out when birthing his children, or perhaps they are screams of a different kind, a version of himself making good on the implication of your words, steel in hand and pursuing his love, his life, his blood—
These figments blur with reality to the point that he becomes unsure of what is before him and what exists only in his head to haunt him. He comes to dread the resting hours, only to find their horrors bleeding into daylight. Whatever strange power has come to roost in his mind serves only to bring him torment.
Perhaps this is why he is not immediately suspicious when he comes face-to-face with you once more.
You stand by the window, the dim light filtering weakly over your bare form. Your back is to him, curls spilling to brush the tops of your buttocks. Their gentle sway—the barest kiss to your skin—is tantalising, and his mouth dries even as he watches your neck crane, sly smile tossed back over your shoulder at him.
“Daemon,” you beckon. Like a cuntstruck fool, he is helpless to resist the call.
His hands settle to the familiar divots of your waist, up and up and up to cup the fullness of your tits. You lean into him, a quiet huff of pleasure escaping as his fingers squeeze and his lips fall unbidden to the slope of your jaw. He inhales deeply, stirred even now by the simplicity of your scent, a throbbing line straight to his groin. You turn in his hold, nose nuzzling against his chin.
“You were right,” you say, eyes shining. “You were always right.”
He is under some enchantment, surely, for he is incapable of coherent speech. All he can do is feel the satisfaction heat his veins, allow it to tug at the corner of his mouth. I knew it, he thinks. I knew her will would bend eventually.
You speak still, even as he backs you toward the bed. “Papa was weak. Rhaenyra is weak. Only you are the true blood of the dragon.”
You shift backward onto the mattress, legs parting invitingly. The split of you opens, revealing flushed folds and the teasing glimmer of want, shining slick for his hungered gaze.
“Fearless”—your hand trails down your belly, fingers tracing around your pearl—“brave”—you venture lower, pressing teasingly at your cunt, your lip caught between your teeth—“strong.”
Daemon drops to his knees before you, tongue licking through the spill and catching on your finger. He bullies it out of the way, arms locking around your thighs as he gluts himself on the sweet tang of you, senses clouding and narrowing to a singular point of existence. You grip his hair, the arches of your feet digging against his back.
“It is not my place to question you,” you breathe, twisting and writhing with his ministrations. He watches your face, enraptured by the toss of your head and the shape of your lips as they form moan after moan. Your release is quick, a final sobbing yelp followed by a flood of slick warmth. When your eyes reopen, they are blazing with reverence. Reverence for him. Your knees flex up, your lower half folded almost to your chest. Your cunt contracts, fluttering like the wings of a butterfly. “I live to serve you, my king.”
His head feels heavy as he rises just barely to crawl over you. He frowns. When he lifts his hand to extricate yours from his hair, he finds not flesh, but cool metal. A crown.
“My king,” you coo below him.
Your surroundings are changed. It is not the meagre offerings of Harrenhal that frame you now, but the sumptuous trimmings of the king’s chambers in the Red Keep, only brighter, more lavish than they ever have been. Jewels sparkle at your throat, in your hair, at your wrists. The sheets are molten gold against your silver-pale, and you wind your hips up at him provocatively, catching his cockhead against your opening.
“You belong on the throne, husband,” you say, fist closing around his shaft and pumping once, twice. You lead him back to the core of you, nudging him just inside. “Uncle. My love. And I belong at your side—at your feet—under your body.”
“My queen,” he gasps, driving forward with a grunt, and oh, he has missed you, missed this, missed the clutch of your walls like a mother’s embrace and the sound of your breathy cries as he plunges deep. Plunges home.
“My king,” you call out, rising into him with unrestrained abandon, precious gems clinking frantically with each fevered hitch of his hips against yours. “My lord. My master. I was made for you.”
“Yes…”
“Chain me to this bed, my king.” Your spine arches toward him, hands grabbing for his own and leading them above your head. He takes this for the encouragement it is, pinning your wrists to the pillow and rutting harder. You shout, elbows flexing to no avail. “Give to me my purpose. Give me your heirs.”
He is helpless to stop the noises escaping his mouth, feral and uninhibited, fucking with near painful intent. You take it all, curving yourself deeper, holding yourself more open so that he may lay claim to his conquest. As only a king can.
“And when I have birthed one,” you say, though now it is more a prolonged keening sound, “give me another. Never stop. Oh! Make me—make me take it—”
He does not know if he is imagining it or if it is happening before his eyes, but he can see it: ruling the Seven Kingdoms, sitting the Iron Throne the way his brother never could, striding down the halls of the keep as the commons bow and scrape to their sovereign, bursting into his chambers after small council to find his queen, to find you where you always are, naked in his bed and belly round and leaking milky white between your thighs, for it is his kingly law that the only part you play here is this, waiting for him to find you and fuck you and fill you and keep you, his little niecewifequeenpet—
He snarls, pulsing and burning. You squeal as he pushes past onslaught and straight to violence, bodies colliding so forcefully that his bones ache and his brain feels like jelly wobbling in his skull. What leaves his mouth can only be bestial in nature now. “I’ll make you—”
“Yes, make me take it until I cannot. Until my cunt is ruined by you.” He feels his end rushing up with every word you wail, his joints locking and grinding and gut roiling with the anticipation of it. “Until my womb is destroyed. Until I bleed myself dry, my king. Only for you.”
“Wha—”
The horror of it escapes him, for it is too late: the release crashes on him like a tidal wave, shoving him below its surface and imprisoning him in its current. He makes a noise like a wounded boar, chasing through the high despite the alarm in his mind, so at odds with the soaring rhythm in his loins.
You laugh, tilting welcomingly to receive him. “Make me bleed, my king. Make me bleed like my mother.”
It is enough to chill the heat in his blood to ice, destroying any semblance of enjoyment. But he cannot stop the unsteady eking out of what remains of his peak. He tries, but he cannot stop.
“No,” he says, a contradiction to the enthusiasm of his flesh prison. “No, no, I cannot. No—”
“What do you mean?” you ask, a strange quality to it. A duality. It crystallises into something comprehensible with every word that comes from your lips. All at once, it is not your voice he hears, but something much higher, younger, blending and overlapping with the cadence he recognises. “You already have.”
He looks down as he makes his final groaning thrusts, only to feel his stomach drop through the floor. Your thighs are soaked in blood, his cock sluicing a path through it all the while. All that flesh covered in red, and he glances up, only to see that you are gone, you are replaced by someone so small, so frightfully small, and he realises you are not replaced, it is you, but it is a you he has not seen for well over ten years, eyes wide and frightened and gleaming like game stuck through by an arrow and taking its final breath.
Daemon rears back, but it is too late. You begin to cry. A dark patch spreads out from underneath your broken body, from where he had torn your fragile opening apart. What have I done? he thinks.
“It hurts, kepus,” you say. “It hurts.”
“I’m sorry,” he chokes out, fixed to stillness by revulsion. “I’m sorry. I never meant to—”
“But you did,” you insist, childish pout despite your obvious agony.
Your hands reach out, and he leans away, too horrified to touch you—and he doesn’t know if it is you or he that he is more afraid of in this moment—but you are not searching through the air for him, no. Instead, a bundled weight is settled in them, and you bring it into the crook of your arms, gripping it as though it is the most precious of objects. You smooth the fabric from the top of it to reveal a tiny head of silver hair. The babe gurgles and roots at your flat chest, absurd and awful.
“This is what you wanted,” you say, eyes filled with betrayal. “Am I going to die now, kepus?”
Your Grace…
He shakes his head, but he is no fool. You are too little to withstand the sheer volume of blood you have lost if the bedding is anything to go by. He feels it stain his legs. He feels it drying on his cock.
“Your Grace?”
“I will, though. I’m too young. You’ve killed me.” The babe begins to suckle, and you cry harder. Your body isn’t built for this task, not yet, not like this. He wants to protest, to tell you that this is not his work, cannot be, for he has and would never do something so foul, so wholly inhuman, that the you he has gotten with child has only ever been a woman grown, but it is like you know his thoughts for you scoff and say, “You’re lying to yourself. I was always too young. You just refused to see it.”
He stares down at you, immobile, unable to even think. The metallic scent of your life leaving you fills the air, floods his nostrils with stinging heat.
“… Your Grace?”
Daemon jolts, blinking. Ser Simon Strong looks back at him. “Is the duck not to your liking, Your Grace?”
All at once, you are gone. The king’s chambers are gone. He is not even within his dank chambers at Harrenhal. Instead, he sits at the table in what passes for the dining hall here, a plate full of food steaming before him. The smell makes him ill.
“There’s also goose, if you’d prefer…”
He swallows, trying to ground himself in the present. Voices waft all around him, but he finds it difficult to pay attention.
“I’m not hungry,” he says shortly. It sounds stronger than he feels.
A pause, and then—
Simon clears his throat, turning to his companions. “I was saying, given the rather dire news…”
Daemon tries to concentrate. He does. He knows the others are speaking of matters of utmost importance. Of  Rook’s Rest, of his nephew, of the war. But his mind can only turn over his encounter—his vision? His nightmare? Or is it merely truth finally unveiled to unworthy eyes?—with you, the last of your words haunting him near to madness.
“I was always too young. You just refused to see it.”
Tumblr media
He has grown restless here, revolving between the frustration of securing an army from those who see naught in him but the very worst and the torment of these terrible visions that seek him out at their pleasure, heedless of his duty or desire. Tedium or terror—when he is entrenched in one, he wishes for the other, and there is always a sick sort of irony in the granting of said wishes. In truth, he is able enough to tolerate the resistance of these riverlanders, insulting as it is. The phantasms that pursue him have almost become too much to bear.
What is worse? The accusations from the mouth of a juvenile Rhaenyra, full of admonishments for the way he’d so thoroughly undermined her claim before she ever got the right to exercise it? The condemnations from Viserys, a retracing of steps trod so long ago, brought to life once more and forcing Daemon to relive the very worst of his brother? The boy’s laughter darting through the stone halls, an ominous prelude to the sickening sound of steel sawing through skin and the rolling of his head, landing always at the feet of the one responsible for his fate?
They are all bad enough as they are, but for the simple fact that they do not surprise him. Monster, they call him, and he wears the name well. In most all aspects, he is a monster. But never has he thought himself monstrous to you.
He has come to despise the sight of you here, sometimes docile and worshipful, sometimes angered and raving. Sometimes you appear as a siren come to lure him to iniquity, and like a fool he always falls into the trap. Other times, you are battered, caged, a shell of yourself. No matter how it begins, the end is always the same: bloodied, beaten, fading from the world, and it is always his hands he finds the cause of it in. A new reminder every time of all the ways he has thought of taking you, owning you, keeping you. Always, he thinks to save you—to protect you. Always, he destroys you.
Just as he thinks himself finally driven to the edge of all reason, the Rivers woman beckons him to the godswood.
“When you came here,” she says, “you were a closed fist. You wished to bend the world to your will. But you’ve discovered, I think, that… this world will not be governed. There are omens here for those who seek them.”
She pauses. The air seems to whisper, to creak in the dark. Daemon suppresses the urge to shiver. Her eyes move to him, an odd little quirk to her mouth. Amusement, he thinks. Or pity.
“You do not scoff?” she asks.
How can he, after all he has seen here? He has been brought to the very edge of sanity by these omens. What irony, it is, after the great complaints he has made of superstition in past weeks (and months, and years).
“I’m no longer inclined to,” is his short reply.
She laughs. “I’m pleased to hear it.”
She stops before the heart tree and turns to him, expression solemn.
“Do you wish, then, to learn what is given to you?” The answer must lie in his face, for he cannot do anything but stare, silent, tense. “All your life, you have sought to command your own fate”—she takes his hand—“but today, you are ready.”
Gentle pressure at his wrist, and something in him knows to move past her, to take those final few steps so that he is close enough to make out the details of the face carved into the wood. His arm raises by itself, acting on its own power, or perhaps some higher power, his fingers brushing bark and the hot pulse of… blood? But he has no time to truly question it for—
He is flying—
No—
He is a raven, staring at the face of a pale-haired man with a wine-dark stain on his face and he flies into the forest, towards an army, only there is something wrong with the soldiers, they are blue and their eyes glow ice-cold and their breath is frosted with death and their bodies carry the look of corpses stood upright once more—
And then the dragons are dead, all of them, the ground wet not with water but with blood and he walks through it, falls straight into the ground and he is drowning, steel plate armour dragging him down into the depths and he looks up at the sky—
A red comet bursts through the air, hot like fire, and he sees eggs embroiled in flame, a girl sat in ash cradling the bodies of three newly-hatched dragons, a whisper of a memory on the air, “we are the only ones able to bring the fire to life… It is the secret”—
And he is before the Iron Throne, suddenly silent.
Rhaenyra stands before the seat. Viserys’s crown is in his hands. She moves toward him, down the stairs of the throne. He hears her speak.
“From my blood…”
But she does not finish. A roaring conflagration engulfs her and she screams, twisting and warping before him, burning, only not, because you step from the flames, unburnt, voice mingling with that of your sister’s, a haunting echo.
“… come the Prince Who Was Promised…”
You are before him, taking the crown from his grasp and retracing the steps your sister took, and then you are stepping over a charred body, Rhaenyra, oh gods, and ascending the steps. You sit. You lift the crown. You place it on your head.
“… and his shall be the song of ice and fire.”
He is on his knees now, right on that final step at your feet. He feels the warmth of you as you bend forward, your palm caressing his jaw. You look otherworldly in the shadow, backlit silver and gold and wearing a king’s accoutrements far better than any of your predecessors.
“You know what must happen now, Uncle,” you say gently, kindly. “You know what you must do.”
He bows his head to kiss your ring—the seal of the king—no, the queen—and then wind is whistling in his ears, chilling him to the bone and spraying his hair about wildly, so much so that he can barely hear the words yelled at him by the boy sitting astride Vhagar.
“You have lived too long, nuncle.”
—and he wrenches away, panting, body collapsing before the heart tree like a puppet with its strings cut. The world comes back to him in fragments: the scent of dirt and woodlands, the sharp sting of cold, the ache in his muscles that has since settled like sludge at the bottom of a river, ever-present and persisting. Finally, finally, he withdraws with hands washed clean, free of his many sins.
At last, he has come to the crux of it. At last, he understands.
He sits at the base of the tree, stunned and overcome, as faint words slither on the breeze, a final knell from the liminal space of prophecy. Your name. A cheer.
“Long live the queen! Long live the queen!”
Tumblr media
Read on AO3:
Tumblr media
Taglist:
Now in the comments!
To be on the taglist:
Click here to apply for the general taglist! Click here to apply for the terms of endearment taglist!
526 notes ¡ View notes
miraculouslbcnreactions ¡ 5 months ago
Note
About the "kwamis as mentors" angle: Interesting to read and analyse, yet I can't help but feel they were not necessarily meant to be seen as mentors. At least to me, they seemed to be kind of whacky mascot characters who are tied to the lore, who have a personality to crack a joke or point something out or cause a little situation or be cute, but nothing more.
They are rather naive magical entities chained to jewelry (a fact they don't seem to mind that much or think about at all except for Plagg) and all that talk about "being around for 5000 years" and having seen many holders before is just there to make them seem more wise than they actually act like. From what I've seen on the show I would even assume there's a threshold to how much they can even mature emotionally and understand humans. Sometimes Tikki and Plagg even come off as indifferent and egoistical towards their holders (like an example you gave with Tikki, or Plagg's fixation on cheese over Adrien at times).
So...sorry if I missed it, but why do you view them as mentor characters? You made an interesting post about rom-com vs magical girl and the magical girl part is exactly why I always viewed them just as critters to appeal to kids, but nothing more. I can see that the show's writing is so inconsistent that sometimes they are portrayed as wise but more often then not they are just background noise to get a little interaction on screen so that the characters are not talking to themselves about miraculous stuff or to point something out for the audience.
The show's writing is pretty weird, so there are elements that are hard to get a clear read on. The Kwamis are one such element. When they're one-on-one with their chosen, they often feel like mentors to me. When they're all together, they almost always read like "critters to appeal to kids" (mostly because there are too many of them to let them have individual personalities when they're all together). So while I think that they're supposed to be mentors, it's not like that's the only canon-accurate read.
To dig into what I mean by the one-on-one writing, let's look at this exchange from Feast:
Master Fu: See, Wayzz? If Marinette had kept her Miraculous, the sentimonster would have swallowed her right up. Wayzz: Or she would have transformed into Ladybug and fought it. Master Fu: Sometimes fighting is futile, Wayzz.
And then later on we get this:
Wayzz: Master, look! Ladybug and Cat Noir, despite their ridiculous costumes, they haven't let you down! Wang Fu: That's impossible! They don't have their Miraculous! Wayzz: Master, it's obvious it's them—who else would do something so crazy? Cat Noir (Adrien): Hey, have a taste of this! Some exploding banana split from Bananoir! Ladybug (Marinette): Much tastier than any Miraculous! Wayzz: Look, Master, there's no use in running! Your disciples never give up the fight, no matter what! With or without their Miraculous, they are Ladybug and Cat Noir!
That's some pretty active mentoring right there.
Wayzz is probably the character that feels the most like a mentor to me. When he's with Fu, he feels like Fu's partner or adviser, which is why I think that the Kwami's aren't supposed to just be cute critters. They're regular ol' Jimmy Crickets meant to act as a conscience that the characters can talk to since this is visual media and you want a way for the characters to talk through their thoughts instead of having them do it all internally.
I also present this exchange from Desperada as evidence:
Adrien: Plagg, Ladybug needs me. She needs "Adrien"! Plagg: If you asked me, this whole idea is worse than cheese in a can. Adrien: She thinks I'm the perfect guy for this mission. Plagg: You can't be Cat Noir and another superhero at the same time! Which means that you're not the perfect guy for this mission. Adrien: The Lucky Charm told her I am. Plagg: That's not how it works. Why am I bothering? You're not even listening.
We then get Plagg reiterating that this is a bad idea through multiple loops, ending with this:
Plagg: Ah! At last, you've come to your senses. Adrien: I'm not sure Ladybug will have very fond memories of her experience with "Adrien Agreste". Plagg: Then make up for it as Cat Noir.
See? I told you Plagg can be a good mentor when he wants to! Tikki, take notes!
I'd even call this bit from Sapitos some quality subtle mentoring from Trixx:
Alya: Oh please, Ladybug! We'd make a great team! I could help Cat Noir and you every day! Ladybug:(her earrings ring) I'm about to transform back! Hurry! Alya: Please? Ladybug: I have to go! I'm trusting you! (opens a nearby door and goes inside, so she can detransform) Trixx: You're absolutely right, Alya. I'm sure the three of you would make quite the team! You have all the makings of a true superhero. You're strong, brave; but most of all, you're trustworthy.
Way to both build Alya up and reminder her of her duty, Trixx. Gold star. Quality mentorship!
So are the Kwamis supposed to be mentors? Who knows! I just see them fill the role often enough to feel comfortable judging them through that lens.
Miraculous also isn't the only magical girl team show to make the cute critters into mentors. That's a pretty standard path even though it's also common to see the critters used to sell merch/appeal to kids and nothing more. In terms of classic magical girl team shows, I'd say that the Kwamis are written way more like Luna and Artemis from Sailor Moon than Mini Mew from Tokyo Mew Mew.
770 notes ¡ View notes
literaryvein-reblogs ¡ 6 days ago
Text
Character Development: 70 Questions
Tumblr media
Self-Reflective Questions. To help jumpstart self-reflection (Woronko, n.d.):
Am I using my time wisely?
Am I taking anything for granted?
Am I employing a healthy perspective?
Am I living true to myself?
Am I waking up in the morning ready to take on the day?
Am I thinking negative thoughts before I fall asleep?
Am I putting enough effort into my relationships?
Am I taking care of myself physically?
Am I letting matters that are out of my control stress me out?
Am I achieving the goals that I’ve set for myself?
The following are questions you can ask yourself every day to get to know yourself better (William, n.d.):
Who am I, really?
What worries me most about the future?
If this were the last day of my life, would I have the same plans for today?
What am I really scared of?
Am I holding on to something I need to let go of?
If not now, then when?
What matters most in my life?
What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life?
Why do I matter?
Have I done anything lately that’s worth remembering?
Have I made someone smile today?
What have I given up on?
When did I last push the boundaries of my comfort zone?
If I had to instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby, what advice would I give?
What small act of kindness was I once shown that I will never forget?
How will I live, knowing I will die?
What do I need to change about myself?
Is it more important to love or be loved?
How many of my friends would I trust with my life?
Who has had the greatest impact on my life?
Would I break the law to save a loved one?
Would I steal to feed a starving child?
What do I want most in life?
What is life asking of me?
Which is worse: failing or never trying?
If I try to fail and succeed, what have I done?
What’s the one thing I’d like others to remember about me at the end of my life?
Does it really matter what others think about me?
To what degree have I actually controlled the course of my life?
When all is said and done, what will I have said more than I’ve done?
These prompts and questions are great ways to put your journal to use (Tartakovsky, 2014):
My favorite way to spend the day is . . .
If I could talk to my teenage self, the one thing I would say is . . .
The two moments I’ll never forget in my life are . . . (Describe them in great detail, and what makes them so unforgettable.)
Make a list of 30 things that make you smile.
“Write about a moment experienced through your body. Making love, making breakfast, going to a party, having a fight, an experience you’ve had or you imagine for your character. Leave out thought and emotion, and let all information be conveyed through the body and senses.”
The words I’d like to live by are . . .
I couldn’t imagine living without . . .
When I’m in pain—physical or emotional—the kindest thing I can do for myself is . . .
Make a list of the people in your life who genuinely support you, and whom you can genuinely trust. Then, make time to hang out with them.
What does unconditional love look like for you?
What things would you do if you loved yourself unconditionally? How can you act on these things, even if you’re not yet able to love yourself unconditionally?
I really wish others knew this about me . . .
Name what is enough for you.
If my body could talk, it would say . . .
Name a compassionate way you’ve supported a friend recently. Then, write down how you can do the same for yourself.
What do you love about life?
What always brings tears to your eyes? (As Paulo Coelho has said, “Tears are words that need to be written.”)
Write about a time when your work felt real, necessary and satisfying to you, whether the work was paid or unpaid, professional or domestic, physical or mental.
Write about your first love—whether it’s a person, place or thing.
Using 10 words, describe yourself.
What’s surprised you the most about your life or life in general?
What can you learn from your biggest mistakes?
I feel most energized when . . .
“Write a list of questions to which you urgently need answers.”
Make a list of everything that inspires you—whether books, websites, quotes, people, paintings, stores, or stars in the sky.
What’s one topic you need to learn more about to help you live a more fulfilling life? (Then, follow through and learn more about that topic.)
I feel happiest in my skin when . . .
Make a list of everything you’d like to say no to.
Make a list of everything you’d like to say yes to.
Write the words you need to hear.
Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs
188 notes ¡ View notes
itwasntimethatdidit40 ¡ 14 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
So wooo it's been a while since I stepped foot in here, started posting around May (and then took down the first fic because I didn't like it) and I'm really glad I did because writing is the one thing that has really resonated with me my whole life. 
I reached 200 followers at the beginning of November and now I'm 6 from 300, which, again, is crazy! And I have a tag list now, it's unbelievable. Thank you so much to each one of you, I love you.
So I definitely want to give something back to this amazing community.
Starting today I'm going to try to do a monthly post dedicated to all the amazing stories I've read. 
This month will be a list of all the works that have stuck with me since I have been here, unfortunately I will never remember them all because my memory sucks, but I hope I have included most of them.
I am so looking forward to discovering many more authors (my tbr list is so long, so many fics so little time, I really hope to read more over the Christmas holidays) in the coming months and I hope to grow this little space more and more into something safe, friendly and nice for everyone.
(Feel free to add me on discord if you like and you haven't already, I'm always happy to chat and make friends, you can find it in my bio).
Anyway, let's cut to the chase, it's a long list of outstanding work below the cut: 
• The Wolf You Feed - @arcanefox207 Joel Miller x f!reader
Look, I'm so in love with her Joel. He’s hot, he's grumpy but also comforting, he plays guitar, he feels true to character. So precious.
• BDSMaid - @mountainsandmayhem
Basically, my Roman Empire. Everything about this is so damn good and this Joel? Hello? Please marry me? I will never stop screaming about him. Also, yes, it’s an AU but he feels so Joel, you know.
• Do your worst, Little Dove from Little Dove series - @mountainsandmayhem Joel Miller x f!reader
This changed my entire brain, okay. Probably the hottest thing I've ever read and if you're into sub!Joel this is something you should read immediately.
• Never made it as a wise man and following chapters - @almostempty Joel Miller x f!reader
Never laughed so hard for a fic and honestly, after this I learned that Wed could write whatever and I'll worship that.
• He knows - @almostempty
Lucien x f!reader
The way it’s written it’s out of this world, I loved it so much♥️
• Self esteem series - @almostempty
She managed to make me fall in love with fuckboy!Joel, which is remarkable because there’s nothing I hate more in this world than fuckboys, like I despise them with all my heart but I’m still here wanting to kneel in front of him. Damn, Wed, stop doing this to me. (Jk)
• Paris, Texas - @almostempty
Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier PeĂąa
*laugh hysterically* I want to live in this fic. I want to be reader. No, actually I want to be the fourth.
• Unscripted desires - @gothcsz Javier Peña x f!reader
The way Kat writes Javi is something unique, I don't even know how she managed to write so much about him doing a fucking banger every single time. This one was probably the first thing I read written by Kat and I'm not going to forget my first love anytime soon.
• Blackmail - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier Peña
I read this series in one day and I was so needy when I finished, jeez! Milla is so damn good and she’s an absolute queen at writing dirty talk, it's honestly unbelievable the way she delivers every single time and leave me speechless.
• Her - from 5 days collection - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader
It’s so dear to my heart (odd to say this about a pegging fic? Probably, but I still stand by what I just said). It was so good that inspired me to write a pegging fic myself and she was so kind about it 🥹 And she was probably the first person engaging with me here and I’m so fucking grateful that she did. Milla, if I have people reading me it’s because you reblogged me and gave me a chance in the first place, I will never forget this.
• Table for Three - Who's your daddy - @aurorawritestoescape Joel Miller x f!reader x Dave York
I read those in my early days here and wow Kate definitely sets a bar in terms of hotness for me. So good. And she’s another person that I cherish so much, thanks for being so supportive and encouraging.
• Keep on your mean side - @aurorawritestoescape and @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader
These two are dead dove queens and this one is simply amazing 10/10 no notes.
• Cherry, Cherry - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
You have to know something about Adriana, she’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, just a beautiful soul. I’m still in awe of how she managed to write this series with so many characters and such a rich plot, it’s so sweet and comforting but also angsty and so good, I teared up a little bit at the end 🥲
• Daddy can fix it - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
Handyman Joel lives in my mind rent free and the fact that this one feature a plus size!reader is the cherry on top ♥️ All bodies are beautiful and should be considered worthy of Joel’s love.
• Like a good girl should - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
WELL. I mean. This one gave me an inexhaustible desire to be spanked sooo yeah. So hot.
• Flesh for fantasy - @syd-djarin Joel Miller x f!reader
I thought about that for days after reading it and it’s still one of my fav things ever, like my brain just exploded, I remember having a conversation with @almostempty about this. The fuck Syd, you just broke my mind.
• Pink - @netherfeildren
Joel Miller x f!reader
One of the first thing ever that I read in this fandom and honestly sets a bar so high I was afraid to start writing anything. The urge, the need that drips from every word, the way the shaving scene is still stuck in my brain. Wow. Just wow.
• Touch Tank - @thundermartini
Javier PeĂąa x f!reader
So beautifully written and soft!Javi made my heart melt ♥️
• Spiaggia, amore e limone - @thundermartini
Javier PeĂąa x f!reader
It sets in Italy, of course I am the biggest fan of this. And not only that, Javi is so cute, smut is so hot, everything in this fic feels like a warm hug.
• Trēs series - @whocaresstillthelouvre
Marcus Acacius x f!reader x Lucius Verus
This is the first time I've ever popped into an author's notes and I'm so fucking proud 🤣 Thank you Mallory, you made my day, my week and my whole month 🥹
Plus, this is so good, think about your fav indulging dessert… it’s this series.
• Fifteen - @whocaresstillthelouvre
Din Djarin x f!reader
So comforting and endearing, I love it so much. Like, she made me read Din. I rarely read Din, enough said.
• Do I move you? - @lemon-nomel
Joel Miller x f!reader
I’m so damn proud of her for finding the courage to finally publish this and I’m also honored that she sent me her draft to read 🥹 She’s the sweetest person ever and stood by my side all these months through hard and happy times. Thank you love, for everything and your writing is amazing♥️
• ma’am - @mssalo
Joel Miller x f!reader
Another sub!Joel I won’t forget anytime soon, wow, so damn beautiful, so hot, perfectly executed. I’m so weak for sub!Joel it’s honestly ridiculous.
• So Cal to North Cal - @lotusbxtch
Frankie Morales x f!reader x Joel Miller
It features two of my fav Pedro boys and it’s honestly so good. Would love to take a trip with them and not only that.
• Guilty pleasure - @for-a-longlongtime
Joel Miller x f!reader
Typical DBF!Joel? No, it’s not! And I loved that, no spoiler but my jaw literally dropped to the floor lol
• To Dig a Grave - @softpascalito
Joel Miller x f!reader
I love this series so much, angsty and sad but also comforting in so many ways.
• Wherever you stray, I’ll follow - @cavillscurls
Joel Miller x f!reader
I think this was my first omegaverse fic and it was incredible, so beautifully written.
• Big fat tally - @toxicanonymity
Joel Miller x f!reader
I will probably never forget Joel in a harness, it’s carved in my brain, thanks Toxi for providing this delicious image to me.
• In the woods - @tonysopranosrobe
Frankie Morales x f!reader x Santiago Garcia x Benny Miller
First sex pollen fic I read and I loved it so much. So desperate, so good.
• How do you sleep? - @thriftedtchotchkes
Joel Miller x f!reader
Honestly so good. Wow.
• each man mad’s desire - @pascalispretty
Marcus Acacius x f!reader
This is so beautiful, it’s like a poem, I still have no words.
• The Real Deal - @strang3lov3
Frankie Morales x f!reader
Oh this one was so damn good, please, this Frankie is perfect. I still yearn to have him.
• Bedridden - @strang3lov3
Joel Miller x f!reader
I’m still laughing, it’s so damn good, well written, funny, sick Joel is unbearable but still the hottest ever.
• Doctor’s pet - @evolnoomym
Dave York x f!reader
Oh this one. I mean I’m a secretary in a clinic, it’s clear I need to work for Doctor Dave.
• Ptolemaea - @lovely-vamp-princess
Joel Miller x f!reader
She just started this and it already feels so original to me, like something I never read before and I’m so curious to see how it unfolds.
• Smooth operator - @penascigarette
Joel Miller x f!reader
Joel calls a sex line and OMG. They’re softer than I thought, so good and funny. Lovely, just lovely.
Happy reading ♥️
170 notes ¡ View notes
erros429 ¡ 6 months ago
Text
i just kind of hate how every time someone is writing a female character, there is far more scrutiny on whether she is “good” representation. like no one ever writes a male character and is like “hmm… is this good representation for men?” because they’re ALLOWED to be written as smart or stupid, or serious or funny, or sensitive or mean, or loud or quiet, or competent or irrational, or jovial or angry, or wise or inexperienced, or pathetic or badass, or good or evil, or complex or one-dimensional. and they will ALWAYS be loved in some shape or form.
but the MOMENT a woman is any one of those things (even tho women irl can ALL have these traits), there are video essays and entire blogs and articles dedicated to Why That’s Not A Good Woman. and like YES, good female representation is important. i acknowledge and agree with that to hell and back. but god damn let these writers breathe. no one is ever going to want to write women again if we shove these impossible standards down their throats.
286 notes ¡ View notes
trippinsorrows ¡ 5 months ago
Text
looking through your eyes + nine
Tumblr media
authors note: i know i've said this before, but this one might be my favorite. there are a few subtle hints spread throughout as well.....
i also listened to the song i named the story after while writing most of this chapter, so maybe recommended listening?
if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!
cw/tw: fluff, angst, language, inebriation, character being triggered, references to past csa, and suggestive themes
song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes
masterlist
words: 12k (i can't be stopped, clearly)
And I see a girl Who is learning to trust
---Leann Rimes
In many ways, Roman is a simple man. The kind that believes obvious gestures, actions, or even lack of inaction should speak for itself. That there are some things that are just so clear as day, it doesn’t make sense for him to have to explain himself. 
For him to have to repeat himself. 
Well, that’s gone out the window as of recent months, because he’s constantly found himself having to do just that. And his day is starting off no different with a surprising and unwanted guest showing up at his office demanding to speak to him.
Bayley stands across his desk with her arms crossed and an almost glare on her face. “I’ve been texting you.”
The fact that she even has his number is an issue in and of itself, but he’ll tackle that another day. “I’m aware.”
The avoiding of said texts is that obvious thing that she seemingly doesn’t understand the why behind. 
Bayley nods, very visibly keeping in a comment she’s at least smart enough to not make to the head of the Bloodline. Friend of his wife, or not. “Well, I would like to talk to you.”
Roman rolls his eyes, moving up from his desk to his filing cabinet to swap out expense reports he was trying to review before her rude, unwanted interruption. “I bet you would.”
“Seriously?” Ignoring her once again is the plan, Roman hoping that’s all it takes so that he doesn’t have to lose his temper before he even has his first meeting of the day. “It’s about Solana.”
And that is what finally catches Roman’s attention. He’s quick to turn around, expression suddenly hardened. “Talk.” She has his full attention. “Now.” 
Bayley takes note of how easily it is to gather Roman’s attention with the simple mention of Solana. It’s surprising to say the least and telling as hell to say the most, but she keeps this little observation to herself. 
“We’re having a Cinco De Mayo celebration at my family’s restaurant tomorrow night.”
“What does that have to do with Solana?”
Roman watches her hesitate for a second. “I want to invite her.”
For a split second, Bayley thinks she may have hit a stroke of luck when Roman doesn’t immediately shoot down her request. He seems to actually be thinking about it. And then he asks the question she knew would be the nail in the coffin. “Will Escobar be there?”
She’d like to just say no, as it’s highly unlikely he will attend, Bayley unsure if her cousin is even in the country. But, lying to the man before her has never turned out well for anyone, so she answers as honestly as she can. “I don’t know. You know he pops up at random times—”
Roman doesn’t even need to hear the rest. “My answer is no.”
She can’t be too surprised. Bayley wisely anticipated getting Roman to budge would be damn near impossible, if not entirely impossible.
“Roman—”
“Why the fuck would I allow her to be anywhere around that son of a bitch?”
To be fair, Roman’s relationship with Santos Escobar is tamer than most. They’re not allies, certainly not friends, and he doesn’t hate the man. It irritates him a bit how Escobar is a stubborn bastard and refuses to pledge loyalty and allegiance to the Bloodline, but that anger is eased by the fact that Escobar gives an even bigger middle finger to the Nightmare Factory.
His loyalty is to himself and the Legado Del Fantasma. That makes him a wildcard and potentially dangerous.
Roman won’t have Solana anywhere where danger could be present.
“You know as well as I do that while both you and my cousin have this weird ass Qué en es más macho thing going on, there’s all but a ceasefire. You've never attacked one of his men the same way he’s never attacked anyone in the Bloodline. That’s not going to change overnight just because your wife is present at a chorcha.”
Roman isn’t too full of himself to admit when someone has made a valid point, but as this involves Solana, the standards are a bit different. He won’t give Bayley that much. “Why should I even take the chance? You want to do something with Solana, take her somewhere else that’s on Bloodline or neutral territory.”
“My family’s restaurant is on neutral territory.” Bayley is happy to have another point of his she can counter. “And contrary to what the average, ignorant American thinks, Cinco De Mayo is an important part of our culture and our heritage, Solana’s heritage. I think she would really enjoy herself, that it would….that it would help her feel close to her mom.”
Roman is excellent in the way he remains absolutely unreadable even at Bayley’s point that has him seriously reconsidering his prior answer.
He has no doubt that would help her feel connected with her mom, being around reminders and in a space that’s so representative of half of who she is, who her mother was. He can’t see her not enjoying herself, which is something that doesn’t seem to happen a lot in her life thus far.
Just as he continues to mull over the options, Bayley adds on another defense. “I get where you’re coming from with the safety angle, but I’ll be there and Naomi will be there. Between the two of us, no one will touch her.”
Roman easily reads between the lines and identifies her unspoken request. “You don’t want Solo there.”
On one hand, he can understand it. Bayley not wanting his Enforcer there. Solo’s presence could be seen as him potentially scoping versus the real reason of serving as Solana’s personal guard.
Bayley doesn’t seem to be backing down, reminding with all the confidence in the world of her capabilities. “Like I said, Naomi and I got this.”
Roman will give her that. Bayley and Naomi could fight on his team any day. They’re just as brutal as the men, if not more when pushed. He knows they’d be able to keep Solana safe if need be. It’s that realization as well as the concern of depriving her of something that could make her happy that brings him to a revised answer.
“Fine, she can go.” Roman is quick to add on as an ominous warning, borderline threat, “but if anything fucking happens to her while she’s with you—”
“It won’t,” Bayley vows. “She’s our friend, and she’s family to Naomi. We look out for each other.”
Roman believes that. Believes that Bayley has seemingly pledged a loyalty to Solana that matches that of Naomi, and while he’d never fucking tell her this, he’s grateful she has someone like Bayley to talk to.
At his fill of socialization with people he doesn’t like, Roman is quick with the dismissal. “If you don’t have anything else to discuss with me about Solana, you can get the hell out of my office.”
Bayley is actually surprised she made it this long without being kicked out, so it’s under her breath she mutters, “a true gentleman.” She’s halfway to his door when manners get the best of her. “Hey, Roman.”
He’s back at his desk, gaze as irritated as when she first stepped in. “What?”
With a nod of respect and appreciation, she simply says, “thank you.” Whatever his response, or lack thereof, is after that is unknown because Bayley is out the door and on her way to invite Solana to what is sure to be a night of fun.
________
“Man, I tell you every dish Solana makes seems to get better and better.” Jimmy is rubbing his stomach as he places the now cleaned plate on the coffee table. “Where she been at all our lives?”
Once upon a time, Roman had a nice, quiet house that was his and his alone. Now though, it’s shared with a wife who really isn’t an issue, two obnoxious cousins who need to start paying rent at this point, and a dog who’s currently at the sliding door leading to the backyard having a one-sided bark off with a squirrel.
“Why are ya’ll always fucking over here?” Roman’s question is said with all the irritation manifesting in his muscular body. At the same time, he stands up from the sofa to retrieve the puppy he doesn’t feel like yelling at to shut up. 
She might piss herself in fear or something.
“Come on,” he grunts, leaning over and taking up Dulce who is almost instantly quiet. “Making all that damn noise for nothing.”
Roman places Dulce in her bed in the living room and returns to his previous seat on the sofa when she hops up and walks her ass right over to lean up on the sofa to stare at him with her unspoken request.
Jimmy is the first to notice this. “I think lil Nacho Libre likes you, Uce.”
Jey chimes in between bites of whatever Solana’s latest dish is that she’s made for them. “She know English yet or Soso still got her only speaking Spanish?”
“Man, the dog can’t speak.”
“You know what I mean, motherfucker. Damn.”
Roman ignores the two imbeciles currently freeloading in his house and relents to just letting Dulce on the sofa. He’s not sure why she’s downstairs with them instead off on the second level where the girls are getting ready, but she’s already here now, so no sense in transporting her. 
Dulce seems satisfied with her placement right next to him. 
“I still can’t believe we weren’t invited.”
“I can get why they didn’t invite us, but they could have at least given Nicki an invite.”
Jimmy is quick with the obvious answer. “You know Nicki don’t fuck with Naomi like that, or Bayley, and definitely not Soso.”
“Cause she’s fucking psychotic.” Roman has zero issues with his cousin’s wife having little to no interest in getting to know Solana. It’s for the better. As he said, the bitch is psychotic.
“Once again, Big Dog, you ain’t gon keep disrespecting my wife like that.”
Roman is as unfazed by Jey’s threat as Dulce is. 
“I gotta agree with Uce on that one. Nicki ass crazy as hell. One minute she love you, the next minute she pulling a Left Eye and burning your shit.” That emits a chuckle from him. His cousin's sneaker collection being burned in the backyard that one year was pretty funny. 
“Look, that was during a rough patch. That’s all.”
“Damn bruh, ya’ll must got a whole goddamn quilt then, cause your relationship been nothing but rough patches since we was in high school.”
“So what, you and Naomi never have no issues, huh?” Jey lives up to his hotheaded reputation, jumping into defensive mode. “Ya’ll just got the perfect marriage, right?”
“Of course we got issues, man, but never to the point where she turned into a lil arsonist!”
Completely disinterested in hearing dumb and dumber argue, Roman grabs his phone and shoots out a text.
Roman: You almost ready?
Solana’s reply comes in less than five minutes later.
Solana: Just about…..is Dulce by you?
Roman: Yeah. Sleeping….as always.
Solana: Lol….sorry about that, I meant to grab her before we got started.
Roman: It’s fine.
Roman: I need to talk to you before you leave.
He’s not surprised by the longer time it takes for her to reply. He can imagine she’s reading too much into his text.
Solana: Okay....I can come now?
Solana: I just have to put my shoes on….
Roman: I’ll come to you.
Roman knows better than to ask the bumbling idiots to watch Dulce. Their attention span when they get this heated is almost non-existent, so he opts to just take her upstairs with him, figuring he can deposit her in her bed in Solana’s room and that’ll be it for the night. 
One down.
Two more to get rid of.
Roman is standing outside of Solana’s door ready to knock when it’s ripped open, and he’s met with an instantly smiling Naomi. 
She’s smiling at the damn dog, of course.
“There you are, Dulce.” Roman has no issue whatsoever with letting her take the puppy, talking to it in that weird ass baby voice everyone seems to use around Dulce. He doesn’t get it, but it’s not something he desires to try to get anyway. Naomi calls out over her shoulder, “I’m gonna take her out to pee.”
Bayley shouts from inside the room, “I’ll come with you.”
Roman also has zero issues with that as well. He wants to be alone with Solana before she heads out.
Naomi is heading to the steps when Bayley walks past him, throwing out a rushed, “tell her she looks nice.”
That’s a given, but he gives her a nod, easily stepping in and closing the door behind him. He looks around the room, eyes settling on the connected bathroom where the door is suddenly swung open.
“Guys, are you sure I should wear—” Solana stops when she sees that Bayley and Naomi are no longer present, just him. “Oh, sorry, I thought—never mind.”
Roman would call her out on her apologies, both in the text and just now, but his attention is on something entirely different. 
Solana is fucking stunning.
Her dress is orange, thin sleeved and hugs her in a way that makes his jaw clench and dick stiffen. It’s more low cut in the front than he knows she’s probably comfortable with, but if anything, it accentuates just how fucking nice her chest is. There’s a slight split on the side of said dress that shows off her thighs, thick and soft to the touch, he’d imagine. She also has her hair down, something he hasn’t seen in some time, makeup that covers the scar, and lips painted in a teasing red. 
Roman has to catch himself because for a brief second, he’s tempted to completely change his mind. She looks too good to leave the house, especially without him present because there’s not a single doubt in his mind that she’ll turn heads.
She always does. 
Finally, he’s able to get words to leave his mouth that aren’t as filthy as the thoughts he’s trying to keep locked in the back of his mind. “Jesus, you look amazing.”
Roman has noticed an increasingly difficult time in restraining himself around Solana, not in the sense where he’d completely ignore her trauma and try to touch her in a way that would trigger her. Never that. More so in the way he fantasizes about her in that way, dreams of having her in that way, solely because of his growing physical attraction.
Granted, it’s always been there. 
Anyone could see her beauty even in how she would dress down and try to hide her figure, but now that Naomi and Bayley have been encouraging her to be less conservative in her appearance, it’s increased that difficulty exponentially. 
“Thank you.” The makeup on Solana’s cheeks helps to mask her growing blush at Roman’s unabashed compliment. She suddenly looks down, nervously running her hand down the dress. “Is it….is it too much?” 
Not at all. He might not want anyone else looking at her, but Roman could see her dress like this everyday and never grow tired. Still, his approval isn’t needed nor should she ever look for it. “Do you think it is?”
“I always think it’s too much.” It’s an honest answer, one that’s followed up with a caveat he’s surprised but pleased to hear. “But….but, I do like it.”
“Then that’s all that matters.”
Solana’s smile does something to him. She looks even more beautiful when she’s smiling. “Look….” Roman steps closer to her, trying to ignore her perfume, sweet and soft, a dangerous combination that matches her perfectly. “You need anything tonight, you call or text me, alright?” 
She nods and asks. “What about Solo? Isn’t—isn’t that his job?”
It’s not a conscious in as much it is a unconscious thing when he steps even closer to her, moving his hand to the small of her back. Roman gently tugs her toward him, and to his surprise, she doesn’t tense under his touch. “You’re my wife, Solana. My job is always to protect you. He just guards you when I can’t.”
She looks like she’s trying to memorize this piece of information, storing it for future use as necessary knowledge. “Do—do you want to come with us?” Solana’s hand resting on his chest is as surprising as her question. “I could talk to Bayley.”
Roman has never been a social person. To say he hates most people isn’t necessarily an exaggeration. So, the thought of being around a bunch of people he doesn’t know or like outside of Solana and maybe Bayley—she’s not entirely awful—is not appealing as well. That doesn’t stop him, however, from considering the question at hand.
He’s tempted to ask her if she wants him to come, because Roman can find it in himself to withstand socialization for a couple hours. 
He’ll do it for her. 
But, there’s another part of him, a larger part of him that thinks she needs to do this on her own. That she needs to establish a life and something for herself that doesn’t include him. It’ll be good for her.
“No.” Is his final answer, delivered much gentler than if she was literally anyone else. Roman reaches and plays with a piece of her hair. “Not my scene. Too many people.” Not to mention that his presence would draw too much attention, potentially not good attention. He won’t do that to her. Won’t’ risk ruining her night. “Go. Have a good time.” Again, for good measure, he reminds, “but I mean it. Something is wrong. You call me.”
She nods, and he readies to remind her of his need for words when she answers, “okay.” She then adds on, “I already gave Dulce dinner, so she should mostly sleep, but if you could take her outside every so often….”
“I got it.” He’d much rather sacrifice the couple minutes it takes to bring her outside than risk her shitting or pissing somewhere in his house. Granted, he has to give credit where credit is due. She’s doing great with her potty training. Solana takes great care of her, but that’s not surprising. It’s obvious how much she loves the puppy. “You should be back by midnight, though.”
It’s more a strong suggestion than a demand. Solana is a grown woman. He’s not going to dictate what she does and doesn’t do. She’s had enough of that in her life. He had to give his approval for her to go with Bayley because of safety issues, but this, he wants to leave up to her as long as she understands the later she’s out, the riskier things can get.
After a certain time, only bad or not so great things can happen.
“Of course.” She seems to understand this clearly, but he’d also bet that’s her preference to be back earlier than later. Solana grabs her purse and walks towards the door, having to pass him in the process. Roman catches her, arm around her waist. 
She looks up, curious, and he makes note of how she again doesn’t tense under his touch. That’s happening less and less, it seems. 
He likes that. 
“Text me when you get there.”
She smiles, and Roman suddenly feels a layer of his irritation with his cousins melt away. “I will.” Solana gives him one more glance before walking out the room. 
Roman scratches his beard, a part of him wondering if he made the right decision to let her go alone. Granted, he knows he would have never even initially agreed if he didn’t trust Bayley and Naomi’s abilities. 
They’d defend Solana as ruthlessly and violently as any of his best men.
That helps to chip away some of his second guessing along with the fact that this is something she clearly wants, and he wants to give her that. Give her anything he can that makes her happy. 
She deserves that much.  
Granted, that temporary peace is short-lived with the shout from one of his cousins who are apparently still present. 
“Ayo, Big Dog, did you change the WiFi password again!”
________
Roman needs a new house.
Maybe have Solana let him know what she likes as far as interior designing goes and have something built with an impenetrable wall around it.
That seems to be the only thing that will keep his annoying ass twin cousins from being at his place so much.
Roman just knew that when the ladies left, they’d leave too. But no, that’s too good to be true, because they’ve been gone almost an hour, and their asses are still here.
Even Dulce is sleeping peacefully like the unemployed bum that she is in her bed kept in the living room. 
And as always with them, they’ve been talking damn near the whole hour. One would think Roman straight up ignoring them as he works on his laptop would be a clear sign they need to go the hell home, but that would be too much like right.
He either needs an Excedrin or for his cousins to leave, the latter being preferred most. It’s especially needed when they seem to be watching whatever dumb ass Tok or Reel video over and over again. 
“Wait. I know that song,” Jey announces, face scrunched up as he tries to recall the name. All Roman knows is that it’s in Spanish and repetitive as hell on top of being played on repeat. Annoying as hell too. “That lil freak from Miami I used to mess with used to have this shit playing at her crib all the time.”
Jimmy sucks his teeth, asking. “What happened to her?”
“Man, she moved.” Jey shrugs. “She went to go be a freak in Cali.” 
Finally, Roman snaps. “Would ya’ll use some damn headphones or something?”
Jimmy is the first to speak. “You might want to watch this, Uce.”
“I don’t care.”
Jey slaps Jimmy on the arm, knowing how to get his cousin’s attention. “Yeah, why would he want to see a video of Solana?”
At that, Roman lifts his gaze.
Jimmy smirks knowingly. “Naomi sent some videos. Check your phone.”
That would explain it. Why Roman was out of the loop. It wasn’t from Solana. 
He’d selected a specific text and ringtone notification for her, so he wouldn’t be unnecessarily checking his phone. Hence why he hasn’t checked it since she text that they’d made it to the restaurant.
Opening up the thread that has himself, Naomi, and the twins, he sees the set of messages and videos.
Naomi: Having a blast! Solana especially. I kinda feel like the odd one out cause clearly I don’t know none of these dances 😩 I kinda got the Bachata one, but Merengue and Punta are killing me.
Naomi: Bay and Solana keep trying to teach me, but it’s not going well lmao
Roman watches them all. Every video shows Solana smiling and laughing as she dances with Bayley and Naomi. One of the videos shows her and Bayley trying to instruct Naomi who seems to be failing miserably at learning what he’d guess are traditional Hispanic dances. There’s even a clip of her trying to help a little girl learn whatever dance they’re doing, and she looks just as patient as he’s seen her with the kids she reads to at the library.
She looks fucking gorgeous and happy.
He likes that for her. After everything she’s been through, she deserves all of the happiness.
But, it’s in watching the last video with the song that he kept hearing on loop from his cousin’s phone that he understands why they have it on repeat.
It’s a different kind of dance Bayley and Solana do together along with other women he doesn’t know or give two fucks about. What he gives a fuck about and focuses in entirely on is the way Solana’s hips and ass move, rhythmically, teasingly, drawing out an uncomfortable tightening in his pants.
Fuck. 
Roman does his best to push his erotic thoughts away, still trying to figure out how to balance his sexual desire for Solana with the knowledge of her sexual trauma. It almost feels wrong, to feel and want her in that way when he knows how traumatizing that subject is for her. It doesn’t stop the desire though.
“Damn, I knew it had to move, just not like that.” 
“Like water.”
It’s probably a combination of his pent up usual, general and sexual frustration, but the dangerously slow way Roman lifts his head and equally slow way he sets his murderous gaze on his cousins is all they need to see to know they’ve gone too far.
And they know it.
Jimmy is instantly on damage control. “I meant—Bayley—you know, cause she—she’s also thick.”
Jey coughs awkwardly, hitting Jimmy on the arm. “I think, uh, we should—we should head out.” And Roman is just as slowly rising from the sofa when the twins literally almost trip over their feet and make a mad dash for the door. 
It takes a couple minutes for him to calm down, and he too suddenly finds himself watching said video, casually commenting to Dulce, “about time they fucking left.”
Dulce barks in agreement. 
________
Solana laughs along with Bayley and Naomi as they plop down in their seats after an almost four minute song of full out merengue. All are reaching for their respective drinks as Bayley playfully nudges Solana. 
“Aren’t you glad you came?”
Just then, Juanita Escobar walks over, Bayley’s mother who carries the same dimple and friendly disposition. She places her hand on Solana’s back, reminding in Spanish, “you must come back and see us again!”
Solana smiles, agreeing, “I will.” She then looks over at Bayley. “If that’s okay?”
Bayley waves her off. “Are you kidding? With how soft and girly you are, you can come be my replacement any time” 
Juanita glares at her youngest, muttering to Solana, “maybe you can rub off on my Bay, hmm? Never wanted to do girl stuff. Always wanted to fight with the boys.”
Bayley chugs back some of her drink. “Hell yeah.”
Solana thinks she’d prefer the fighting too. Maybe then she could have defended herself better. Defended her mom even.
Juanita shakes her head, looking at Solana. “Yes, come again, child. You look so much like someone, but I can’t put my hand on it. I’m sure my husband would know. He knows everyone.”
That doesn't necessarily make Solana want to come back, meeting someone, a man specifically. However, if he’s anything like Bayley or Juanita, maybe…maybe it won’t be so bad.
And maybe…maybe she could ask Roman to come with her. That’d make her feel moderately to significantly better. Safer, even.
Juanita is soon pulled away from the table by a customer at the same moment Solana’s phone rings.
Roman: You good?
Solana: Yes. 
She bites down on her lip, contemplating if she should hit send on her message. It feels like a risky thing to say, but it’s also how she feels.
And he’s always telling her to be honest with him.
So she is. 
Solana: Kinda wish you would have came.
Her fingers nervously tap against the table as she wait for his reply that ends up coming almost immediately. 
Roman: That’s your world. Not mine.
Roman: Do you not feel safe?
Solana: No, not that. I guess…...Nvm.
Roman: Tell me.
Again, more hesitation, and she’s not entirely sure where this desire to be honest and almost vulnerable with him comes from, but she does her best not to push it away, almost welcoming the slight discomfort that comes with sending such a risky text.
Solana: Idk, I feel better when you’re around. 
He doesn’t reply after that.
Bayley and Naomi share a knowing expression, having watched Solana quietly for the past few minutes. Naomi ends up being the one to lead the conversation. “So how are things going with Roman?”
The question takes her off guard, Solana trying her best to think just how to handle said question.
Roman no longer confuses her. Not nearly as much as her feelings about him confuse her. 
She wasn’t lying. She does feel better when she’s around him. And it’s not even that she feels unsafe currently. It’s just that he makes her feel safe in general. That’s such a foreign concept. One she hasn’t experienced in such a long time. 
If ever.
Because the truth of the matter is that while Solana felt an indescribable amount of happiness with her mother, there was never really safety. Not with her father’s wrath always waiting around the corner.
So while this is new and unfamiliar, it’s also nice, and she finds herself enjoying his presence. She likes being around him beyond the safety aspect. The way he talks to and with her, like he genuinely enjoys their conversations. When he meets her for work and asks how her day was or finds her in the house to see how her day was, it makes her feel like he actually cares about what she has to say.
Like he actually cares about her.
It’s such a stark contrast of how she sees him interact with others. Always on edge, it seems. 
He’s never made her feel that way though. Maybe at the beginning, but that’s starting to feel less like anything he’s done and more like her own trauma.
Trauma….
That’s also been an interesting experience. For the past few weeks, she’s worked out of The Courage to Heal, reading every page as instructed. And it’s been….an emotional time, to say the least. Definitely tears. A lot of them. Mostly shed in the middle of the night when she can’t sleep or on the bathroom floor as she sits against the tub, reading and writing, Dulce right beside her, offering that unspoken emotional support.
It’s been therapeutic and challenging and awful having to confront her demons but also freeing in a strange sort of way. Especially the poems. The words of other victims who express so eloquently and hauntingly beautifully what she still cannot. 
One of the things she’s really latched onto and tries to remind herself of is that there are different kinds of touch. Because of the assault, her brain has naturally associated any kind of touch as dangerous, which isn’t always true. Especially in the past few months. 
So, there’s been a conscious and active effort to remind herself when Naomi and Bayley hug her or playfully bump her, that it’s safe. That she’s safe.
Especially….especially with Roman.
Especially with how touch between them has seemed to also increase over the past couple weeks. Or maybe less increase in levels and more in frequency. She’ll find his hand on the small of her back, or him taking her hand in his, and sometimes, if they’re close enough, Solana also finds herself reaching for him, for his hand, her hand on his chest.
It’s all so innocent in presentation but something much deeper for her. A level of comfort she’s developed with him that she never had in any prior relationship. 
She likes it.
She likes him.
“Solana.” 
Jumping at being pulled from her inner dialogue, Solana remembers the initial question being posed. 
She clears her throat, finally answering, “umm….good. It’s—it’s good.”
“He’s not being an ass to you, is he?” She asks, almost protectively. “I mean outside of the natural ass that he always is.”
Immediately, Solana is shaking her head, almost feeling a duty to defend him. “No. No. He–he would never. He’s….always nice to me.”
Bayley nearly spits out her drink. “Nice?” She coughs a bit, also shaking her head. “Are we still talking about Roman here? Roman Reigns? That man has never been nice a day in his life.”
Naomi shrugs. “I mean, she has a point. I don’t think I’ve seen him be cruel to her.”
Cruel….Solana also could never find it in her to use that word to describe Roman’s disposition towards her. Maybe others, but never her.
Bayley sits on Naomi’s point, suddenly sharing to the table, “you know what, now that you mention it, when I went to go ask him if I could invite you tonight, he was ready to bite my head off for bothering him. But, the minute I said it had something to do with you, he was all ears. Like an instant switch.”
Solana is also all ears, slightly intrigued. “Really?” Doubt and insecurity creeps in as she weakly suggests, “he was probably like that with Samantha too.”
At that, Bayley and Naomi laugh aloud, Naomi nearly in tears.
“Now that is funny. Solana, Roman don’t give a fuck about that girl. Not outside of sex.”
Solana must look unconvinced, so Bayley points out, “think about it. She’s been around for years, and it’s not her he took down the aisle, so…..” She then adds, “arranged marriage or not.”
The girls bringing up their points takes Solana back to her run-in with Samantha in the bathroom and Nia’s jaw-dropping information. 
An idea appears, and Solana is instantly torn on whether to pursue or pop it. Something tells her it’s a bad idea, that she should take his information to the grave, but there’s also that side that feels like she can trust Bayley and Naomi to keep it between the three of them.
Sitting forward, Solana decides to take a risk. “Can I—can I tell you guys something?” Nervously, she stipulates, “but it has to stay between us.”
They look expectedly worried. “Solana, if it has something to do with your safety—”
“No, no that.” Solana almost feels confident enough to say that she’d go to Roman if that was the case. She trusts that she could talk to him if it was something like that.
“Of course, then.”
“Solana, you can tell us anything.”
And for some reason, she knows this to be true. It’s why she battles against her trepidation to open up. “It’s—ummm. I….I found out that when….when Roman was…..having sex with Samantha, he….” There’s a pause caused by the discomfort of such a discussion, but Solana manages to push through. “He said my name.”
Both Bayley and Naomi wear shocked expressions, the former of the two whispering harshly, “holy shit, what?”
Bayley then asks, “wait, how do you know?”
“Nia told me.” Solana has zero desire to wholly revisit that night in the bathroom with Samantha, so she only provides the important part. “She said that Samantha told her friend, I guess. T something?”
“Tiffy.” Bayley rolls her eyes. “Makes sense. That girl can’t hold water.”
“I don’t get it then. He obviously was imagining it was you and not Samantha, so why go fuck her and not you?”
Naomi’s question makes all the sense, but Solana doesn’t really know how to tackle it. This conversation is already difficult enough for her. 
But her face must give it away, Bayley seemingly putting two and two together.
“You two haven’t slept together…..have you?” Solana simply shakes her head, unable to verbally confirm and slightly mortified that it’s reached this level of detail. 
Solana is certain they must have a million thoughts floating around their head, starting with the how and why. That part…..that part she doesn’t know if she is ready to discuss.
An ironic thing considering she’s just started the chapter in her workbook on sharing her story with trusted people. 
The irony.
But instead of invasive questions that heighten her anxiety, Naomi places a comforting hand on her arm. 
“Look, I’ve known Roman my whole life, and the guy has been a dick the entire time. He would never hurt a woman, I know that, but he’s also never given a fuck about any of them either. So for him to be the way he is with you when you two haven’t even had sex……there’s something there, Solana.”
“I agree,” Bayley cosigns, saying what Solana has struggled to admit even to herself. “I think he really does like you. In his own Roman sort of way.”
Solana can’t deny the fact that it’s getting increasingly difficult to push away that possibility, even if she still can’t understand the why.
Just what has she done to deserve him liking her? 
Maybe it’s not like. Maybe he just tolerates her better than he does others for some reason. Whatever it is, she can’t negate the fact that it must mean something if Naomi, who’s known him her whole life, believes that something is there.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” Solana just needs to get away. Just for a couple minutes. This conversation took a turn she wasn’t expecting, and she needs to settle her emotions. 
Bayley seems cautious. “Want me to come with you?”
“No.” The rejection is paired with a kind smile. “I’ll just be a few minutes.”
And before she can get any pushback, Solana makes her way through the dancing crowd and to the back restroom that she’s grateful to see is vacant. Closing and locking the bathroom door, she goes straight for the mirror.
Despite the unexpected amount of dancing and slight sweat, she still looks relatively the same. 
The same….
Same.
Even with the makeup and tight little dress, she’s still the same person. She’ll go home tonight, take off the makeup and remove the dress to find the same damaged, scarred girl who can never have something like what Jimmy and Naomi have.
Even if Roman does like her, it won’t last. 
She can’t please him. 
She could never make Roman happy, could never truly satisfy him, satisfy his needs.
She’s too broken for that.
It brings tears to her eyes.
Unable to withstand the sight of herself, Solana grabs a couple napkins to blow away her tears, tosses them out and heads out the bathroom. Instead of heading back to the table, Solana makes a beeline for the bar. 
She’s only had white wine, but white wine isn’t enough. She recognizes where her emotions are taking her, and it’s nowhere good. 
Solana refuses to ruin this night for Bayley and Naomi.
The bartender is a young girl, pretty, early to mid twenties. She asks in a friendly, deeply accented voice, “what can I get you?” 
Solana is naive to this, to the great array of alcoholic options that litter the counter before her, so she answers the best way she can. Thinking back to the few events she’d be forced to attend with her father and brother, the drinks she always heard people order before getting drunk.
“Vodka and Gin, p—please.”
________
Meanwhile, Bayley and Naomi sit at the table still partially stuck on this unexpected news. But also not entirely surprising. With how sittish Solana can be at times, they have a good, albeit depressing guess as to why sex hasn’t happened between them.
It does bring up a valid question though.
“Wasn’t the whole marriage for the purposes of giving Roman an heir? How is that—”
“Your guess is as good as mine,” Naomi murmurs. “But, I think we both know it’s obvious Solana has some trauma. Touch is clearly hard for her.”
“I know.” Bayley frowns. “I guess I’m just surprised Roman of all people has been so….patient with her.”
“You and me too.” Naomi blows out a breath before again reiterating what she said to Solana. “He must really like her.”
“It’s just hard to tell with him. He’s so damn stoic, but….I think you’re right. I think she likes him too. She’s just…..scared.” Fear is also something Solana deeply struggles with, though Bayley and Naomi both can recognize the progress she’s making towards overcoming those fears.
With a gasp, Naomi grabs her phone, directing Bayley. “Get your phone.” 
Bay is confused but follows suit just as Naomi says, “I know who may know.” 
Less than a minute later, Bayley’s phone dings with a text notification from a new group she’s in that includes herself, Naomi, Jimmy, and Jey.
Naomi: Sooooo, Bay and I were just talking, and between the four of us, how do you think Roman feels about Solana?
Bayley: And please be honest.
Bayley quickly ensures. “We’re not going to tell them what Solana said, right?”
“Hell no. We could never betray her trust like that.” Bayley is relieved but also not surprised. 
Naomi values loyalty just as much as she does. 
Jey: Man, I think he really like ole’ girl. Bruh got her a dog, seems to drop whatever he doing when she needs something, and I don’t think I ever heard him say nothing bad about her.
Jimmy: He was definitely annoyed at first when Soso had her lil breakdown at the Warehouse, but that didn’t last long at all. 
Bayley: Plus Roman is always annoyed with something or someone.
Naomi: Except her 👀
Jey: Why ya’ll ask?
Naomi: We think Solana really likes him too but is scared to push on it because of her past and just don’t want to encourage her to give it a chance if he’s just gonna hurt her. Ya’ll know how Roman is.
Bayley: A certified ASSHOLE. And a hoe. 
Bayley: But, it seems like that’s not the case with her.
Jimmy: I would say he definitely likes her too. 
Jey: I mean they are married so….
Naomi: It was arranged. That doesn’t count. 
Bayley: Do we know if he’s still fucking around? Primarily with Samantha since she’s been his go-to the past couple years?
Jimmy: I don’t think so. Matter of fact, I guess she said some smart shit to Soso in the bathroom on NoC and Big Dog wasn’t having it.
Jey: He’s apparently planning to pay her a lil visit….with Nia.
Naomi: Oh my god, is he finally gonna let Nia kill her?
Jimmy: Naw, just fuck her up real good, I think.
Naomi: Damn.
Bayley: That’s wild for him to cut her off like that after all this time. Def sounds like he likes Solana to me too…..
Jey: Ya’ll really think he about to admit that shit though?
Naomi: No more than she is. He’s stubborn, and she’s so insecure.
Jimmy: Ya’ll thinking what I’m thinking? 👀
*Jimmy changed the group chat name to Operation RoSo*
Naomi: Bae, what is this damn title?
Jimmy: It’s our latest covert operation. We gotta get Roman and Soso to admit they like each other!
Jey: And just how the hell is we supposed to do that? Like Bay said, Uce is an ass sometimes.
Bayley: All the time unless you’re Solana….
Naomi: I mean, not to be vain, but if you look like Roman, you can kinda get away with being an ass. To some extent.
Bayley: You’re not wrong. He is gorgeous. 😮‍💨
Jimmy: He alright, I guess. His ears kinda big.
Naomi: Bae, I love you, but let’s not lie. Your cousin is an asshole, yes, but he’s also fine as hell.
Bayley: That’s not the only thing said to be big…..
Naomi: Girl….
Bayley: They can’t all be lying.
Jey: ANYWAYS!
Jey: What if they’re coming together at they own pace and we should just leave shit alone? 
Jimmy: 😐
Jimmy: That’s about the dumbest fucking thing I done heard all day. What next you gon say, huh? That they just magically gon fall in love on their own too? No! They clearly need our help!
Naomi: Maybe less help and more a shove in the right direction?
Bayley: A gentle push!
Naomi: Yes!
Jey: All I know is if shit backfires, I’m not taking the heat for none of ya’ll asses. Ya’ll gon have to deal with Big Dog.
Jimmy: Then we’ll just put Solana in front of us. He can’t hurt us then!
Jimmy: See…..I’m smart with this shit. That’s why Imma be the brains of this operation.
________
“What do you mean she’s drunk?”
Roman’s night suddenly went from uneventful and quiet, his preference, to unexpected and infuriating, all with a walk from upstairs to downstairs where he finds Solana awkwardly standing in the living room. Bayley and Naomi wait at the bottom of the steps with nervous expressions.
Good.
They should be scared shitless, because one glance at Solana, the gloss over her eyes, and he can tell she’s all but wasted. 
“You were supposed to be watching her.” Roman is fucking irritated. He knew it was a bad idea to leave these two in charge of Solana.
Bayley, however, seems unbothered by his anger. “She’s not a child, Roman. Were we supposed to stop her from drinking too? We had no idea she asked for something stronger.”
It’s an excuse, and Roman doesn’t do excuses. “What happened?”
Naomi answers this time around. “We don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” One. They’re lying, and Roman hates liars. Two. They’re lying, and Roman has literally killed people for less. Three. They’re lying, and he wants to know why. “You’ve both got less than a minute to give me the truth—”
“Look, we talked about some things, and we promised to keep it between the three of us, so I’m not telling you what exactly it was, but I can tell you she’s not in danger.” Bayley is smart. She must know that he’d literally torture the information out of her if it had anything to do with Solana’s safety. 
“It was just…some stuff about her past. I think it may have been too much, and she decided to get drunk to not think about it.” Naomi’s suggestion makes sense and pans out, but Roman can’t stop thinking about just what she shared with them. 
Was it the rape? But why? He remembers her terror in the locker room that day, the fear and pain in her eyes and voice as she pleaded with him to not make her talk about it. It doesn’t make sense why she would suddenly share it.
Even with how close she seems to them.
“Just leave.”
Roman will deal with them later. Right now, his priority is getting Solana settled.
They seem to know better than to push his patience, asking that he at least keep them updated on how she’s doing in the morning.
He neither agrees or disagrees. It’ll heavily depend on how fucked up Solana is. 
Once they’re gone, Roman walks into the living room to find her laid on the sofa, eyes glazed over from her drunkenness but that same beautiful smile on her just as beautiful face.
“Solana.” She’s so gone that it makes him wonder even more again just how upset she must have been. “I need to get you to bed.”
He needs sleep too, feeling the length and weight of the day starting to take a toll.
She’s protesting almost right away. “I’m not t–tired.”
“Maybe not, but you will be tomorrow.” Roman knows she’s in for one hell of a hangover.
“I don’t—I don’t want to sleep.” She’s almost pouting, brows caved together as she stumbles through more words. Solana suddenly stands up, and he naturally moves closer to her, noticing the almost sway she does onto the floor. “I just—have bad dreams and—and you’re just—just gonna leave once I sleep anyw—way.”
“What do you mean by that?” He asks. Getting answers from a drunk person usually isn’t the best or smartest thing in the world, but something tells Roman that Solana is the type of drunk person who ends up spilling secrets. And he’s certain there’s a lot she’s probably still keeping in.
She then issues an unexpected accusation. “You—you’re—you’re gonna go be with Samantha—that’s who you want.”
Roman finds her question slightly ironic considering he’s been letting Samantha think she got away with whatever disrespectful shit she said to Solana on the Night of Champions. He’s letting her think she’s safe and waiting for the right moment to set her ass straight, Nia tagging along to deliver the physical message he can’t.
“Af–after all.” Solana continues, surprising him with her openness that’s most definitely fueled by her inebriation. “Why—why would you want me?” She points to herself, voice taking on a softer, vulnerable tone. “Why—why would anyone want me?”
He’s silent for a good minute, sitting on such a heavy question. “Is that really what you think?” It’s asked in a low voice, and he’s not entirely sure if it’s more him thinking aloud or if he genuinely wants to know if that is how she really views herself. 
She shakes her head, nodding in a way that further signifies how drunk she is. “It’s like you said, I’m mentally u–unstable.”
For a second, Roman’s confused, but he quickly thinks back to their wedding night, to his hurtful words to her. Words he’d give anything to take back now. 
With an almost frown, he acknowledges his fault. “I was wrong to say that to you, Solana. You are not that.” Truthfully, with all she’s been through, even if she was, he couldn’t fault her.
With a family like hers, she never had a fucking chance.
Solana seems almost confused by his apology, taking him back with the next thing that leaves her mouth. “Is it—is it true you—you said my name when you were with S—samantha?”
He definitely wasn’t expecting that, has no idea how she even knows that. Is that what Samantha told her in the bathroom? Why would she? It does nothing to make her look good. Regardless, drunk or not, Roman sticks with his word that he won’t lie to her.
“Yes.”
Even drunk, he can tell how shocked she is by his admission. Shaking her head, she says either to herself or him—he can’t really tell. “I—I don’t get it.” Before he can say anything else, she starts on this train of self-hatred. “She’s pretty and—and—skinny and—she’s not—broken like me.”
That does something to him, Roman moving closer to bring one hand to the small of her back and the other to her face. “You’re not broken, Solana.”
“Yes–yes, I am. You don’t—you don’t know what—what happened to me.” Her bottom lip trembles as she shakes her head, hands on his chest. “I can’t—I can’t do what—what she does—can’t—give you t–that.”
He shifts his hand to the back of her head, forcing her blurry gaze to stay on him. “Baby….” It tears him the fuck up hearing her acknowledge the lingering trauma he’s certain she’ll always carry to some extent, but even more to hear how lowly she really thinks of herself. “I don’t—”
“I can’t—I can’t because—” Her voice cracks, her eyes focused everywhere but him as she almost comes to this heartbreaking realization that her drunkenness briefly helped her escape these thoughts that have now returned. “—b–because they r–raped me, and now I don’t—I don’t know how—how to be with anyone.” She gasps and sniffles, shaking her head. “I should—should have f–fought h-harder—”
“Don’t you ever fucking say that, you hear me?” Roman’s voice somehow contains all the conviction yet gentleness he can muster. Hearing her even think that makes him feel something he can’t fully describe. It’s heavy as fuck though. “You were a child, Solana. It wasn’t your fault.”
“You were a kid.” He has to say it again, because that’s the hardest part in all of this, knowing how young she was. “You should have been protected, and you weren’t, and I’m going to make sure every son of a bitch involved in what happened to you pays for that shit. I promise you that. The same way that I promise with my life, I’ll never let anyone ever hurt you again.”
She’s clearly taken back by his words, by his vow. “I don’t—I don’t—understand w–why? Why—why would you do that?”
Roman isn’t sure he has an answer for that specifically, but he does have something else he can provide her, a small part of him knowing, hoping maybe, there’s very little from tonight she remembers come tomorrow morning. 
“Because someone needs to protect you.” Roman swallows, adding before he even realizes what he’s saying. “Because I don’t want Samantha.” He brushes his thumb over her cheek, intentionally wiping her tears. “I want you.”
And suddenly, it’s so much easier to say it aloud, to voice to her what he still doesn’t entirely understand, why he feels drawn to her in ways he doesn’t understand. There’s a connection almost, a connection of mutual loss that’s formed some sort of bridge Roman is unsure just when he started crossing 
She looks more stunned at his admission than anything else he’s ever said to her. Still, she seems to try to discredit him. “But—but she—”
“She’s not you.” His voice unintentionally softens. “No one’s like you.”
Selfishly, he hopes she doesn’t remember much or any of this conversation, less painful for her, more time for him to figure out what it is about this woman that he feels so deeply drawn to.
Again, she tries to downplay her worth. “I can’t—I can’t—give you what you need.”
And somehow he knows exactly what she means. What she’s referring to.
“I don’t need that from you.” Truth be told, he doesn’t want to need anything from her. Needing anything in general has never been his thing. He just knows that, for some reason, he wants her around.
He likes having her around him. 
She’s blinking again and places her hand against her head, sharing, “my h–head hurts.” It’s not an intentional deflection, he’s certain, but it’s appreciated.
This is a much deeper conversation than he anticipated having tonight.
“You need to get to bed. The sooner you can start sleeping this off, the better.” He eyes her skeptically, asking, “can you walk?”
He should have already known the answer, because the minute she tries to pull away from him to walk, she sways almost immediately, Roman going right back to holding her. “Come here.” He expects her to tense up as he moves to lift her up bridal style, but she doesn’t. She just continues to look confused, clearly overwhelmed with all of her emotions. 
Roman doesn’t say anything as he carries her up the stairs and doesn’t think twice about taking her to his room instead of hers. 
He needs to monitor her tonight, and that’s easier done with her in his room.
She looks around still confused but doesn’t say anything as Roman lowers her down on the edge of his bed. Naturally, he’s on one knee before her.
“I’m gonna take these off.” He refers to her heels which could largely be a contributing factor for her to inability to walk. She nods, and he quickly unstraps and tosses the heels to the side. “Do you want to change?”
She nods and then adds, “I don’t have—my clothes….”
Roman is at his dresser, pulling out a shirt that he reaches to her. “You can wear this for tonight.”
She accepts it from him, turning to walk to the bathroom, Roman relieved to see the removal of her heels helps her to at least make it without falling.
While she’s changing, he heads back downstairs to get Dulce.
He knows she’s used to sleeping with Solana and will probably throw a fit or spend the night crying if that doesn’t happen, so a small sacrifice is made as he also brings up Dulce’s bed from the living room and places it on the side of his bed.
One night of her sleeping in his room won’t kill him.
It’s then that Solana walks out the bathroom, changed out of her dress and her face free from the makeup. 
“I washed my face….hope that was o–okay.”
“It’s fine, Solana.” Roman is half expecting to have to instruct her to lay down, but she again stays with the theme of surprises tonight and walks over to the bed, pulling back the covers and climbing in. 
He’s again ready to explain that he’ll be in the guest room across the hall but will be available if she needs anything. He’ll still be checking in on her occasionally, regardless.
But, before he can explain as such, she asks in the softest, most vulnerable voice, “will you lay with me?”
It’s an extremely unexpected question with an easy answer.
Roman’s answer is to move into the bed with her, half expecting her to freak out in one way or another. This close proximity is so unlike her, a complete contrast to what she’s usually comfortable with.
However, what he doesn’t expect is the way Solana moves her body close against his, pressing herself into his side, arm over his stomach and head on his chest.
In a switching of roles, Roman is the one to initially tense. This is more physical contact than they’ve ever had, and there’s not a doubt in his mind that if not for the alcohol in her system, she’d have a fucking meltdown touching him this much.
But in her drunken, highly intoxicated state, that’s not an issue. She wants to be close to him, wants to be pressed up against him. 
She’s looking for comfort.
And truthfully, he wants it too. Roman likes the feel of her next to him, actually uses his other arm to tug her closer, noticing how she adjusts her head on his chest.
Her hand is planted against his chest, and he starts to tell her to rest, to encourage her to sleep this off. But, she once again beats him to it, asking yet another question. 
“Why—why are you doing this?”
To be fair, Roman only answers her truthfully because he’s betting on her being so close to the edge of sleep that the chances of her remembering this rare shred of vulnerability are slim to none.
“Because—because I know what it’s like to not have anyone.” There’s a sense of hesitation and discomfort as he verbalizes what he’s never once openly discussed with anyone. “Because I didn’t just lose my mom when I was ten. I lost my entire family. My parents. My aunt. My uncle. And all of my siblings. I—I was the only one who made it out alive that night, and I spent years not knowing why, why I was left alone.”
Roman doesn’t want sympathy, doesn’t want people feeling fucking sorry for him. He never has. But the way Solana lifts her head to look at him is a look of something else, something that likens understanding and compassion.
The latter of which is almost an unfamiliar concept. 
“I didn’t—I’m sorry.” She lays her head back against his chest, moving even closer. She then murmurs into him, almost reassuringly, “you don’t—you don’t have to be alone anymore.”
Roman doesn't know what to say to that, so he doesn’t.
He says nothing.
________
Waking up in Roman’s bed wearing only his shirt is the last thing Solana expects along with the fact that the minute her eyes open, she’s hit with instant throbbing of her head.
She winces, confused about so many things as she forces herself to sit up, mind immediately wandering to a single question.
Where is Roman?
Her question is easily answered when she spots the notebook on his nightstand. She reaches for it, squinted eyes reading over his words.
Solana,
I’m sorry I had to leave. I have a meeting with the Elders I, unfortunately, can’t miss. I’ll be back right after.
If not for that, I would have stayed with you.
You most likely won’t remember last night, but you got drunk. Very. You’re gonna wake up with a nasty hangover. Take the Aspirin. It’ll help. 
I gave Dulce her breakfast and took her outside. She should be fine. 
I also let your job know you’re not coming in today.
Rest.
Roman
There’s so much to process in such a straightforward letter. What did he mean by stay with her? Did—did they sleep in the same bed? 
For some reason, that’s not as anxiety inducing as she imagined it would be. She doesn’t know the why or how, but it doesn't bring that heavy weight on her chest.
The drunk part triggers brief memories of the night prior. Bayley and Naomi. The celebration. Dancing. Fun. Happiness.
A switch.
At some point in the night, her mood shifted into something else. Solana remembers asking for a drink, but she doesn’t remember much after that. Glimpses. An almost sympathetic look from Roman. His arms around her. Him holding her.
It makes for a confusing story she doesn’t really have the wherewithal to deal with. She instead reaches over and swallows the Aspirin. 
And she goes right back to sleep.
________
Roman finds himself completely bypassing his office, clearing his schedule, and moving his phone’s status to Do Not Disturb.
He’s not in the mood to deal with any of that shit today. At least not for a couple more hours. He needs to make sure Solana is situated first. 
Thinking about her resurfaces his earlier level of anger at how the meeting with the Elders ended.
“What of the girl?”
This was the part of the hour meeting that caught his attention the most. Everything else was trivial and, in his opinion, a waste of time. But, it’s when Elder Aleki brings up Solana that Roman’s focus is recentered.
“What about her?”
He’s not stupid. Far from it. Roman knows exactly where this is headed. It was partially expected. What he didn’t expect was the anger that’s already brewing at just how Solana was referred to as ‘the girl.’
Aleki is bold with his questioning, jumping straight to the point. “Is she still not pregnant yet? It’s been almost four months.”
Roman’s jaw clenches, and he finds himself squeezing the armrest of his chair as he does his best to keep his voice somewhat subdued. “I’m aware of how long it’s been.”
Another elder, Sione, decides to join in on this conversation that Roman is about to shut down in less than a minute. “Perhaps she should have another medical evaluation. By one of our doctors—”
“The hell she will.”
Rikishi shoots Roman a warning look, quietly, muttering an equally pleading, “language, Uce.”
Roman straight up ignores him. Rikishi still adheres to those outdated traditions that just because someone has more years on this earth than you that they automatically deserve respect. Fuck that. Roman gives respect when it’s earned, and Aleki and Sione have been on his shit list for years.
He’ll never forgive them for their behavior after the death of his family, their questioning of Roman’s birthright to the throne.
Aleki releases a heavy sigh, and Roman has to restrain himself from not bashing the old man’s head into the table. “All we’re saying is if she is incapable of producing a child to continue the Bloodline, then we have no use for her and should seek to find you a better—”
That’s when Roman has enough. To suggest Solana be examined again. which would no doubt be triggering as fuck for her, is one thing. But, it’s an entirely different thing for them to have the unmitigated gall to suggest he get rid of her.
Over his dead fucking body.
Roman shoots up from the chair. “My wife isn’t going anywhere nor is anyone at this fucking table going to make her do shit.”
Rikishi shoots more than just his subtle warning this time around. “Roman, please—”
Roman’s not trying to hear that shit from him, though. He’s not trying to hear shit from anyone. 
“Our marriage is nobody’s fucking business but our own. That includes when she gets pregnant. We’ll share it when we want to.”
Truthfully speaking, this isn’t something Roman has thought much about, an intentional thing. The fact that the marriage was originally and solely arranged so that she could give him an heir is irrelevant to him right now, regardless of what they think.
That’s not a priority. 
“You may be the Elders, but I sit at the head of the table.” The Bloodline has always been successful and profitable, but it’s no doubt exceeded any and all records and expectations since Roman became the head. That’s an indisputable fact. “Don’t fucking forget who made this table what it is today.”
The ending of the meeting is still playing in the back of his head like a bad song on repeat. If not for his semi level of respect and acknowledgement of their standing as Elders, he would have put a bullet in their heads the minute that disrespectful shit started leaving their mouths.
In no fucking universe is anyone taking Solana from him. He doesn’t give a flying fuck whatever the original reason was for their marriage. She’s his now, and nothing is changing that. 
Roman makes active efforts to calm himself before walking back into the house. After last night, the last thing she needs is to be unintentionally triggered. 
He finds her on the sofa, writing in her journal, Dulce right beside her sleeping peacefully without a care in the fucking world. Roman halfway expected her to be out back on the patio, a seemingly favorite spot of hers.
But the sunlight would no doubt exacerbate the remnants of her hangover he’s certain she’s still battling, so it makes sense she’s indoors. It’s when she looks up, noticing his presence that Roman also realizes she’s still only wearing his shirt. 
For some strange reason, he likes that. Likes seeing her in his clothes.
“Hey…”
“Hey.” Roman sits on the sofa opposite from her. He takes her in, watching her set her journal to the side and as he notices her hair is pulled up. “How you feeling?”
She shrugs, making a face that suggests some level of discomfort. “My head still kinda hurts, but I guess—that’s to be expected.” He starts to ask her if she’s drunk enough water, recognizing the importance of staying hydrated a night after heavy drinking, but she’s suddenly pleading with him almost. “Please don’t be upset with Bayley and Naomi. It’s not their fault.”
To be fair, he hadn’t thought about them until now. “They were supposed to watch you.”
“They did. I—I got back fine.” She seems almost worried for them, for their safety. He would never actually kill either woman. He’ll just probably never trust them to take Solana out again in life. But no murder would actually happen. Still, it’s the part where Solana says she got back fine that irks him. He does his best to mask that irritation though. 
“You weren’t fine last night, Solana.” She was far from it, more emotional than he’s seen her in some time, if ever. 
Her shoulders drop, almost in shame. “I don’t—I don’t remember much of it.”
He’s thankful for that. For the both of them. “You were upset.” It’s not a lie nor is it specific. It’s just the truth. 
She then asks with almost hesitant curiosity. “W–what did I say?”
Roman shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.” He doesn’t like being dismissive towards her, doesn’t like being dishonest, something he swore he wouldn’t do. But, she was an emotional wreck last night, and the last thing he wants is for her to go through all of those emotions yet again.
He doesn’t like seeing her upset.
But then she looks at him, studying him almost, a sad, almost tearful chuckle leaving her mouth. He watches as she brings her legs up to her chest and rests her chin against her knees. She asks, volume barely over a whisper, “I told you last night, didn’t I?” Roman realizes it’s less a question and more a heavy realization. “That—that I was raped. Didn’t I?”
It’s a bit of a lose–lose situation. Either he tells her no and risks her feeling bad for sharing something she didn’t have to or he confirms what she already knows and still feels not great.
They’re both shitty options, but he ultimately goes the route of honesty. “Yes.”
“It’s weird. I—” She looks away, eyes shutting for a minute before she unexpectedly explains, “I’ve been—I’ve been working out of this book for people who were…assaulted like me, and I’m–at the part where its recommended I tell at least one person because—because it’s not healthy to keep it to myself.” 
Roman knows exactly what book she’s talking about. It was the key that led to him figuring out just what happened to her. That still fucks with him. Still makes him fill with silent rage at her piece of shit family letting that happen to her. 
“You’re now the first person I’ve ever told.” Roman hates that even more.. Hates that someone like him is who she ended up breaking her silence with. He wishes it was either Bayley or Naomi. They’re much better at this sort of thing. The feelings thing. “I don’t—I don’t like talking about it.”
“You don’t have to.” He isn’t sure he’d be able to control his anger hearing details, hearing anything about it to be honest, not coming from her. His rage would be intractable. 
She nods, almost appreciatively. “That's why sex is—it’s hard for me.” He fully understands that, and a small part of him hates how he tried to initiate that with her on their wedding night. He figured her nerves were because of her naturally anxious personality. Never once did it cross his mind that it was because of something much darker. “And it’s not—it’s not like I don’t think about it sometimes, about being close to someone like that, I do.” This piece does surprise him, but he works hard not to think too much about it right now. He wants to be in this moment with her. “ I—I have. But, every time I try, I just—I get flashbacks, and I can’t.” She ends on an almost whisper, Roman’s stomach tightening as she quickly wipes at a tear. 
He doesn’t like seeing her cry. 
“You don’t owe me an explanation, Solana.” Not him or anyone else, for that matter. 
She doesn’t say anything for a good minute before asking, “what happens now?”
That’s a great fucking question, and he almost has the same towards a lot of things. He’s curious though what she’s specifically referring to. “What do you mean?”
Solana seems almost frightened as she asks, “are you—are you gonna send me back to my father?” 
Yeah, he could have never in a million years guessed that. “Why would you ever think I would do that?”
And he suddenly hates asking, hates seeing the way the emotion builds back up. “I’m not—not a virgin, and—” Her eyes close, her grip around her legs tightening. “You….you only married me because—”
“I don’t care about that.” This is his second time today having to face some level of this discussion, but this round is significantly gentler. Roman does his best to illustrate the conviction in his voice while also being mindful of her emotions. “What do you want, Solana?”
He has no idea what she’s going to say, but he does know for a fact he would never send her back to that hellhole. It would be like sending her to her own death. 
She seems to really think about his question, think about something he’s certain she’s never had a lot of. 
Options. 
Finally, after what feels like hours, she answers. “I want to stay here.” Roman’s unsure why he feels a small sense of relief at her answer, like anything other than that would have made him uncomfortable or upset. Solana wets her lips, continuing, “I like—I like living here.” And in an even smaller voice, she adds, “I like being with you.”
He doesn’t say anything, and neither does she. Roman is certain it’s because they’re both trying to process and register what this may mean, what this new piece of information means for them moving forward. 
Roman sits forward and motions with his index and middle finger. “Come here.”
He sees it instantly. The initial hesitation, the brief flash of fear, but it’s gone before he can offer reassurance. Solana lowers her legs and walks over to him, Dulce remaining sleeping and unmoving. Not once does Roman remove his gaze from her as he takes her hand, giving a gentle tug to guide her down on the sofa next to him. He slides his arm behind her, holding her body against him, his tattooed forearm across her stomach.
Roman watches the way her eyes close, recognizes that she’s trying to manage her emotions. He sees the little nod she gives herself, as if assuring herself that she’s safe. And he swears he sees her mouth as such.
Mouth the word ‘safe.’
Solana moves her hands to his forearm, as if holding onto him for some sense of comfort. 
He does his best to reassure her. “Relax…”And it seems to do something to help her, offering such a simple yet strong form of solace. “I’d never send you back there. Ever.” And that’s a fucking promise. “You’ll stay here. With me.”
“I’m—” Her voice is less emotional than before. It’s still there, but he can tell it's waning with each second that passes, her comfort level growing. “I’m supposed to give you an heir. What if—what if people start—”
“I’ll take care of it.” And he will. He already started with the Elders earlier today, but she doesn’t need to know that. 
She angles her head up to look at him. “But—” 
Roman brings his hand to her face, gently palming her cheek. “I’ll take care of it.” He moves his thumb over the apple of her cheek and part of her scar. “Alright?”
Solana nods with her acknowledgement but says nothing else as she lays back against him. He notices the absence of tension and discomfort. She’s fully relaxed against him, and Roman acts more out of instinct than anything as he presses lips against her temple for a brief kiss, still mindful of her comfort level. “I’ve got you…”
Everything happening in the past few minutes has been both unexpected and confusing, but there’s nothing confusing about the way Solana suddenly turns her body into him, laying her head on his chest. He watches her eyes close, signifying another layer of fear being peeled back. 
He sits there for who knows how long with her, holding her, noticing the slight rise and fall of her body against his, a sign that she’s fallen asleep. He lets her sleep, lets her rest, lets her stay close to him, under him, with him.
Roman thinks back on his question to her about what she wanted. He’s not sure what he would have said if she said she wanted to leave, because the truth of the matter is that Roman’s starting to think that he couldn’t let her go.
That he can’t.
Even if she wanted to leave. 
259 notes ¡ View notes
comicaurora ¡ 10 months ago
Note
In the latest trope talk you used Odo as part of your examples. I think You've talked about Star Trek: The Next Generation before but not Deep Space Nine and I just had some questions about what you thought about the show.
What did you most/least enjoy about the series?
What did you think of DS9's syndicated episodes compared to contemporary trek's (TNG, VOY) episodic nature?
How do you feel about the Dominion storyline as a whole? Did you feel like it went against Star Trek's utopian future?
Which characters stood out to you the most/had the most engaging development?
What do you think gagh tastes like?
Any other thoughts about the series?
Tumblr media
Oh man, DS9.
I have this very consistent pattern of thinking that the star trek I have most recently watched is the best star trek. When I watched TNG it was the best because of its standout episodes that let Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner show off. Then when I watched Voyager it was the best because Janeway was incredible and 7 of 9's arc was a beautiful iteration on the "inhuman character explores humanity" star trek trope. Then when I got to DS9 I was like "Oh, so this is what actually good Star Trek looks like." I do think I'm actually right this time, though.
I think they really took advantage of how different the core premise of the show was from previous Star Treks. Because the setting was very consistent, the episodic variations on the formula weren't dedicated to seeking out Weird New Shit, but to focusing on the characters and their dynamics with one another. Correspondingly I think the best thing in the show is the character writing and how everyone's arcs are built up. This was something I think they were building towards with the previous series; TNG would occasionally have character-focused episodes, but for the most part everybody on the ship operated like a well-oiled machine, inputting the Weird Thing Of The Week and outputting a solution. Voyager destabilized the formula by yeeting the heroes halfway across the galaxy and well outside the safe confines of federation space, so you got a lot more opportunities for drama caused by limited supplies or existential despair, and a lot more character-driven conundrums without clean or flawless solutions. DS9 is kind of the apotheosis of this shift away from "seek out new life and new civilizations, boldly go etc etc" because instead of our heroes briefly interacting with Bajor and then fucking off into the end credits, they're sitting right on top of a planet undergoing tumultuous social restructuring after the end of a long and horrible military occupation, and they're there for 7 seasons. Because they aren't following an adventure-of-the-week formula, absolutely everything they do has consequences they have to deal with later down the line, and that lends itself very well to longform character arcs.
I liked the Dominion storyline well enough, and I think the existence of an evil space empire to fight doesn't preclude the Federation being a utopia. Utopias are internally perfect systems, not worlds that have absolutely no conflict. I think the part of DS9 that does undercut the utopia is the whole thing with Section 31, but I think that's part of a very intentional move on the writers' part to highlight that Section 31 is not as necessary as they think they are, and that doing all this stuff unethically is a moral concession and a shortcut that demeans the principles of the Federation. That's part of why I like that they serve as a nemesis to Doctor Bashir, who has very personal reasons to despise the idea of taking the easy way out.
Character-wise, I have very predictable favs. Jadzia Dax is fascinating to me, and I love the way they play with her past lives and centuries of experience to create this very layered character packed with plothooks. Also I have very simple tastes, and "woman fills narrative Man Role trope and nobody is weird about it" is an itch I so rarely get scratched despite how not complicated it is. Jadzia gets to be a swashbuckling romantic hero with a tragic starcrossed lover; she gets to be a wise yet cheerful mentor to Captain Sisko; she gets to be a noble warrior honoring debts from a lifetime ago. And I adore how her dynamic with Sisko plays out over the seasons - another completely uncomplicated trope I so rarely get to enjoy, male and female leads who are profoundly ride-or-die for one another and have absolutely no interest in making out. I am still so mad about how Jadzia gets iced, but that doesn't mean I don't like Ezri, and there is something very beautiful about how when she gets Dax'd and her existence becomes an absolute mess of confusion and conflicting memories and she doesn't even know who she is anymore, her single point of stability is Sisko.
That said, Garak is probably my overall fav. The man is an absolute drama hound and since he's not technically main cast it's a rare treat to get him focused on. He is so much fun on a rewatch when you can see exactly when and how he's lying and when he's telling the truth in a way that everyone thinks is lying, and what I think is most interesting about him is how absolutely everybody else on the station has him figured out. There's this "I know he knows I know they know" loop underlying almost every interaction. Everyone knows he's a spy, he knows everyone knows, and they're all just vibing anyway. It's like his entire character is built on telling the truth in a way that sounds like a lie, to the point where it always manages to surprise people when he does something absolutely ruthless. He's been saying he's a bad guy the whole time! People seem to keep forgetting!
Also, fun fact, the very first chunk of DS9 I caught was the back half of the episode "The Wire", and when I was mentioning this to my dad, I was like "yeah I don't remember their names but these two guys seemed extremely married-" and he immediately went "oh, Garak and the doctor?" so that's very telling I think
297 notes ¡ View notes
muffinsin ¡ 1 month ago
Note
Hey, it's platonic anon again, I hope you don't mind me asking, as I have been feeling a little bit insecure lately, if you do one with alcina + daughters separate reactions to a fem head maid reader slowly getting deeper in depression because she has a little pudge that she doesn't like, but it just makes he look like a teddybear, and the maids have been making fun of her recently, and then she stops showing up to work all together, staying in her room and only eating one meal a day?
-platonic anon
Tumblr media
Awhh, this is hella adorable, absolutely! :) Imma have to remove Alci though, hunny, I don't write for her though might occaisonally include her in pieces when I feel like it
Also oops, this got way longer than I thought it would, so imma have to split it into 3 parts. This one’s Bela’s
Let's get into it! :)
Masterlists found at pinned; rip, my linking is busted
Bela
Being involved with the maidens by far more than her sisters, professionally so even, Bela notices when you don't show up for work immediately
And at first, she's willing to turn a blind eye to it, thinking that maybe you're simply too tired too work, or in need of a vacation
She does admit, there isn't all that much of that at the castle
But, she likes you
And as such, she's willing to ignore that you aren't working as you should be
That is, for the first two days, at least
She is sure: you know to come to her when in need of a break
It's not like she won't grant you one, so long as it isn't harvesting season or the beginning of winter and all staff members are needed
But it isn't, and your disappearance starts to feel a little...odd
Now, she wouldn't describe herself as someone caring for the maids, head maiden or not
But, she likes you
A kind, loving, hard working woman
Someone she finds: she enjoys spending her time with, and someone she has enjoyed getting to know
Not showing up to work is so...unusual for you. So out of character
And as such, despite what she's sure her sisters would say, she seeks you out
Knocking on the door to your room- despite not having to knock at pretty much any door in the castle due to her status- she waits patiently until you open the door for her
What she takes in has her gasp in surprise and take a step back momentarily
Your room is warm, yes, but the air has adapted a strange scent that has her scrunch up her nose. She never thought she’d want to open a window
You’re curled in bed, underneath the blankets, but she still sees the thick clothing covering you
Briefly, she worries this might be too warm for a little human, but drops the thought again
- temperature wise, you seem well and healthy enough
She takes a step closer again, her golden eyes finding yours at last
You seem…off
Yet now that she stands in front of you, she seems at a loss for words, unsure what to say
It’s not like she’s used to cheering up anyone but her sisters
Glancing to the side, she sees multiple plates by your nightstand
One for each day you spent in your room
Is that all you’ve eaten?
In her mind, she recalls: humans are supposed to eat three days a meal. Especially those hard at work
You don’t speak, only stare at her, as if too tired and drained to do much
For once, she doesn’t mind the lack of respectful bows and what not
For once, she supposes she can let this be a casual, friendly conversation
Still unsure of what to say, she sits by your bed, her flies buzzing anxiously
You look up for a moment, your eyes trailing across her face, down her neck and to her exposed collarbone, her chest and slim hips and waist
You can’t help but fiddle with the blankets, can’t help but compare her build to yours
Normally, you don’t care
But the words from the maidens, the mockery aimed at you, hurt recently
You almost wish you could be like Bela, so confident, so strong, so strikingly beaufiful
You only ever want to be that, you think
“Did…something happen?”, she asks eventually, frowning slightly, as if unsure about her words
She really isn’t sure about this, or how to go about this, and just hopes her awkward words come out right
For once, she wishes she was a little more like Daniela and could effortlessly keep this conversation up and ask whether you’re alright without this awkwardness
You gulp, pulled from your thoughts
It’s a little unusual to see her like this- so…out of her element, almost
Still, you treasure her company, and see what she’s doing
“I’m fine”, you lie, pressing your eyes shut and refusing to whimper
You don’t want to lie to her
You want to tell her all about it, want to even throw your arms around her and cry
Bela’s just always had this aura about her that made you seek her favor and praise
At the same time, you don’t want to drive her away now, don’t want to “bother” her with your problems
She frowns, confused. Hearing your heart quickening and picking up the scent of your sweat, she’s hardly fooled by your answer
Only does she not quite understand why you’d lie. Especially to her
Instead, she does what she often does when her sisters lie to her and she sees through it. She stays quiet
You whimper as her golden eyes stay on you, a gentle gaze, but one that tells you she’s awaiting your response and giving you the opportunity to correct yourself
And, wise enough, you do so
You feel tears welling up in your eyes as you pull away the blankets and pull the hoodie covering you up just slightly, just enough to show her the small pouch at your belly from under your top
Alas, she doesn’t react, unsure what this means
While having been taught to express herself always, Bela is almost a stranger to insecurity- at the very least as it comes to her body
She’s never felt worried about the way she looks, paying little mind to it
You envy her
Then, just when you cover yourself up again, she asks again;
“Did something happen, little one?”
You crack
The nickname is enough for tears to run down your cheeks and- to your surprise- you feel her arm wrap around you
You’re pulled to her, sniffling
You pick up her scent, her elegant perfume and the metallic scent of blood lying underneath, only picked up this close to her
And briefly, just briefly, you have a dark thought, wishing she could just kill those that treated you so unfairly
With her arm around you, you feel impossibly safe- likely unlike most others that are this close to her
You begin to talk, begin to tell her of everything
Of the mockery, of the laughter
Of the little, stabbing comments made here and there
Of the looks
Of the mean glances and words
Of your insecurities and the growing feeling of anxiety and emptiness in you
And Bela?
She doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t talk. She only listens to you, humming occasionally to let you know you have her full attention
It’s a wonderful feeling
As you elaborate and cry a little more, she holds you tighter
She seems a little less awkward now, as if used to hold someone when they cry, and briefly you feel a strike of envy, wondering if there’s other maidens held by her and comforted like this. Then, the feeling fades when you figure; it must be Daniela, her younger sister, who you know cries easily from own experiences of holding and comforting the young woman after one of her episodes
You find, Bela offers the best hugs, though, and likely quite the rare ones
You stay close to her, breathing out a sigh of relief when you finish talking
It’s almost like speaking about it helped
She doesn’t quite understand their behavior, writes it off to the general behavior of scum
She finds, as such, they deserve to be treated just as certain way, too
You’re granted another day of staying in your room until Bela insists you return to work
More surprisingly, though, you find a maid, one of the newer ones, a little shy, but friendly, bring you a meal three times a day that day
She doesn’t say a thing, too nervous in the castle still, but you’re certain she was tasked to do so by Bela
And when you do return to work, anxious and dressed in slightly bigger clothes than normal, as if you could hide away, you find no trace of those who mocked you
Perhaps wickedly, you wonder what happened to them, whether they’ve been dragged away, killed, mauled, toyed with my the sadistic Dimitrescu sisters
Whether Bela in particular killed them. Is killing them. Is hurting them
But it’s like they never even existed, instead
You hear no screams at night. No whispers of what might have happened at all
It’s almost like your problems dissolved into thin air…
And you know you have none other than Bela Dimitrescu to thank for it
77 notes ¡ View notes
incandescentflower ¡ 2 months ago
Text
You can always tell when the writing for two characters and their conflict is compelling because you start to see continuous fights break out about which character is "right."
But in the case of Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo in particular, it really feels like the entire point of this drama is being missed by a mile to engage in that kind of thinking.
It does remind me of that quote from Blueming that my mind comes back to from time to time.
About pain, it's an absolute thing for a person. It's not something you can compare. If I feel pain, then it is pain. No body can judge you.
Some very wise words about how pain is not something that can truly be compared. And I do think those ideas continue through this narrative as well, but with the nuance of what if it's the person who you love that hurts you because you are both trying to manage that pain.
I know for many people it comes down to how one person treats the other - either directly (Dohoe pushing on Juyoung, challenging him, trying to make it seem like he can cut off Juyoung because it doesn't matter) and indirectly (Juyoung keeping a relationship with Dohoe's father who was both their abuser, pushing him to confront things he isn't ready to confront, thinking he needs to protect Dohoe from himself by keeping the gym even when that is the opposite of what Dohoe says very directly).
It's interesting because I identify with Juyoung's way of dealing with this trauma more, but it doesn't make it the correct way. And I do feel like the story is trying to say that. The 12 year separation really emphasizes that you can't make someone else deal with their trauma on your timeline no matter how much you love them. Love isn't this magic balm. You can't save someone else. But love can be a brightness in the dark, love can be hope. It's a really beautifully nuanced message.
And when you love someone you can hurt them and be hurt by them. You have to be able to see outside yourself and listen to the other person's needs to be in a relationship. And sometimes you have to decide that loving that person is too harmful to you.
It's Dohoe we see struggling with this, thinking loving Juyoung might be too harmful to him, thinking him loving Juyoung is harmful to Juyoung.
Juyoung is not thinking of that harm so people want to protect him, but that is about his own issues he also needs to deal with. He is just as responsible for figuring out his boundaries and deciding what he can manage and what he can't. He has to communicate his truths to Dohoe. There is still so much that he has held back.
And we see him start to do it. We see Juyoung calling Dohoe out on not saying how he feels and retreating so quickly. We see Juyoung saying what he needs. We see them starting to communicate, starting to smooth some of those edges and we can only hope they keep doing that.
Juyoung apologizes to Dohoe, but it seems like it's for trying to push Dohoe too hard too fast. Dohoe is being very clear about what he needs and Juyoung is now finally listening.
It's like a quote from To My Star (another Hwang Da Seul drama) I think of often:
I really like people like you. People who have their walls up. They seem really strong.
Dohoe's shutting things out is what has helped him survive. You can't just open the flood gates up all at once. Dohoe's avoidance is his protection and you can't just bulldoze it down.
This is a dance of loving someone where their needs are in direct conflict with yours and trying to manage that and figure out how much you can accept a little less of them or give a little more of yourself and hopefully bit by bit you come to some place in the middle together.
117 notes ¡ View notes
rainbowsillz ¡ 1 year ago
Note
Could I maybe ask for your take on how the dorm leaders react to their SO playing with their hair (and their ears/horns when it comes to Leona/Malleus)?
I love your writing! 💜
“How are you so carefree with this? I swear you are full of surprises..”
Tumblr media
Pairings: Multiple Characters X GN! Reader.
Tumblr media
-*-
Note: Sure! Thanks for this request(*^o^*)✨ I admit I got a bit lazy so no Vil and Idia qwq.
Tumblr media
RIDDLE was near to conjuring his signature magic with you, and he was very tempted to it when he felt a hand tucking a strand of his ruby hair behind the back of his ear until his eyes met yours. The howling snarl in his mind settled when he downed his cup of tea. In an attempt to remind himself. What kind of person would he be if he loses his conduct with a spouse of his because of his mania? And because you informed him how much he was as exquisite as if he was a prince from a mythology you heard from.
Tumblr media
LEONA was generally meh with it. Just don't touch his tail, 'kay? Or else, he'll be making you his pillow for the rest of his evening. Let's say, you're lucky to be his mate because if it's the others, he'd probably flip with this blunder, deemed it as an annoyance for him. He's also extremely prideful with your display of affections and reassuring words, it somewhat feeds into his ego that at least he's number one in your opinion (unlike that damned lizard). It means a lot to him even if you are as dense as a rock or something too.
Tumblr media
AZUL has an intriguing reaction. Internally, he's kicking his feet and beaming like a high-school boy interacting with his crush, how about external wise from your point of view? Gripping his coat, as he forced another customer service smiling face (that looks unnatural) as if he wasn't on the urge to hide himself in his octopus pot. Does that mean you'll marry him? Is this a yes? He's delusional. Not that I would blame him, he's overjoyed after all. From his tone, he seemed to be okay with these gestures...?
Tumblr media
KALIM behaved as you'd guess. Zero hesitation. Poke his forehead? Go ahead. Hold hands? Wonderful. I wholeheartedly believe that he would encourage you to because it means that you were at ease with his presence. Easy to talk him into your sort of thing (while Jamil suffered). With how dazzling and happy-go-lucky he is, you wouldn't have the heart to refuse him either. He jumped up and dragged you to his drawer as he motioned you to pick out a brush so you could use it on him as you wished.
Tumblr media
MALLEUS was ecstatic, that wouldn't be enough to describe him. For you, it may be due to your own curiosity or you being adventurous with the said fae, his pupils intently gazing into you. Is this how humans express their emotions? What's the underlying meaning? Too invested in his thoughts at this time. You ran your fingers along the curve, sturdy and bony sprouts on his height. Amusement was creeping on his features as he let out a chortle at it. How brave. You differ from everything he knew of, aren't you?
630 notes ¡ View notes
konpeitonom ¡ 14 days ago
Note
jimmy nsfw alphabet PLEASEE and maybe curly too
jimmy nsfw alphabet.
nsfw — lowercase intended ^_^
fem reader — cw for jimmy overall.. manipulation/dubcon. this might be a little heavy to some so if you’re extremely sensitive to anything i’d just skip this one. he is misogynistic to hell. hints of bi jimmy :^
requests are open and heavily encouraged, i write for every mw character ^.^
notes; using every guy i’ve ever known as inspo for writing this. don’t like? don’t read. block button is right there. i never write jimmy in a positive light and never will! curlys is already posted!
nsfw under the cut! minors do not read
Tumblr media
a — aftercare, (what they’re like after sex)
— i mean. if you ask for water or food he’ll give it to you (begrudgingly..), but it’s not something he’ll actively do. you know? he knows he can be rough at times but it’s not really a priority to him. besides, he kinda likes the sight of you all used up.
b — body part (their favorite body part, and their partners)
— for himself, his arms/shoulders. since he lifts i think he is quite lean..
— for you? probably your chest! he likes to grab at your boobs and squeeze at them, laughing at how you yelp or whatever.
c — cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
— i think his favorite would be on your face, like it gets in your hair and it’s all gross and stuff. that or would force it down your throat. wouldn’t let you go until you’ve swallowed it full. he’s scummy!
— i’ve mentioned it once before but he’s not the kind to just. not pleasure you. he has to make sex worthwhile for you to wanna do it- without much work on trying to convince you on his end. he’ll make sure you cum eventually.
d — dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)
— man where would i even start..
— i’ll keep it a bit light for now, maybe. he’s jerked off to you, on you, as you sleep. it’s into stuff like that. you just look so sexy laid there. sometimes he cleans it and sometimes he doesn’t.
— he always tells you the next day, however.
e — experience (how experienced are they?)
— he’s like the opposite of curly. very little committed relationships, many, many one night stands. he thinks if girls are willing to give their bodies up like that after one night, there’s no reason to be in any sort of committed relationship.
f — favorite position (self explanatory)
— you bent over some sort of table, or wall sex. whatever constrains you where he doesn’t have to do much work to do so. he also loves to pull on your hair so positions where he’s able to do that he’s into.
g — goofy (are they more serious in the moment?)
— he doesn’t think about it. like mood and tension? as long as he gets off. might make a few jokes here or there but doesn’t think much of it.
h — hair (how well groomed are they?)
— he trims if it gets too much, but it’s not really anything he cares about. doesn’t care if you’re bothered by it.
i — intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic wise?)
— he’s not the most romantic. maybe on special occasions like your first time together, or your birthday, anniversary.. he’ll say ‘i love you’, just maybe. but in the long run he really only does it so you’ll stay.
j — jack off (masturbation headcanon)
— he jerks off whenever possible. maybe a bit of an exaggeration. the type to just jerk off while scrolling on his phone, ‘just cause’- he doesn’t think much of it and doesn’t really have one to one sessions. if he’s alone and bored he’s jerking off.
k — kink (one of their kinks)
— as a community of jimmy fuckers (i am not apart of said community, but i see you) i appreciate how we all agree he is into ddlg. he’s gross. and honestly for kinks, i’d be better to write off things he isn’t into. he’d watch women get tortured to get off, there really isn’t much he wouldn’t do.
— i won’t elaborate much on the ddlg thing because it’s personally not something i’d want to write about. but he’s into it, 100%.
— things like slapping, air restriction, tying his partner up, free use, water sports, somnophilia, corruption.. fuck- anything. really anything. just ask and he’s probably willing to do it.
l — location (favorite places to do it)
— likes bathroom stalls in gas stations because he thinks they are especially degrading and gross. even more so when you’re on your knees and pleasuring him. semi-public settings just turn him on.
m — motivation (what turns them on)
— this man gets horny to the smallest things..
— tease him even a little- show him skin on purpose and he’s fucking you straight. doesn’t take much for him to get hard.
n — no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
— blank
— okay but anything that feels as if he’s not in full control. he likes tying you up, but he would not want to be. no way.
o — oral (preference in giving, receiving)
— he prefers receiving. eating pussy is not something he really likes to do. what pleasure could he derive from that, even? if you asked then maybe, if it’s something you really wanted.
p — pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)
— fast and rough. maybe slow and rough if he’s tired. he thinks rougher is better, and maybe to him but maybenot for you..
q — quickie (their opinion on quickies, how often)
— he’s into them. his goal with sex is to just get off, doesn’t care if it’s quick or ‘intimate’ as people would say. if you like them then that’s great! he’d rather do quickies than bother with actual, actual sex.
r — risk (are they willing to experiment? do they take risks?)
— he’s willing to risk a lot.. nothing that would ruin his public image, but like.. fucking in a park late at night, where someone might catch you. yeah, he’d do that. he thinks it’s hotter if you’re all exposed, and he’s masked and shit.
s — stamina (self explanatory)
— uh. like 2 rounds? anything more than that would just tire him out i think.
t — toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on themselves or their partner?)
— owns a fair share of toys, i won’t lie.. yes he owns a dildo and yes it’s for himself. he has toys for his partner as well he likes to use them often, multiple forms of stimulation- and seeing your reaction to that is extremely sexy..
u — unfair (how much do they like to tease?)
— a lot, he teases a lot.. he likes orgasm delay and stuff like that- sometimes he wouldn’t let you cum at all. he’d say such mean things in bed to, to mock you and such. shaming you for letting him do this to you. all round horrible guy.
v — volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make?)
— he likes your noises over his. is that a surprise? thinks it’s one of the prettiest things about you. so he likes to keep it down. he’d say some stupid shit like.. making noises is a ‘girl thing’.
w — wild card (a random headcanon)
— occasionally he likes to overstimulate you, making you cum over and over. makes him feel as if he could control you if he could please you like that. no other man could, right?
x — x-ray (what’s going on underneath?)
— his penis is extremely mediocre and regular. he’s seen curlys and is extremely jealous of him. it’s funny sorry. not every guy can have a good dick, and jimmy is apart of that percentage.
y — yearning (how high is their sex drive?
— pretty high. if you’re open to fucking 1-2 times a day he is open and willing. but if that’s too much, maybe once every other day.
z — zzz.. (how quickly they fall asleep)
— falls asleep quick, but only needs like- a 10 minute nap or so. not the type to sleep, sleep- even if it’s late at night.
Tumblr media
134 notes ¡ View notes
shinestarhwaa ¡ 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
Waterfall / C.S
Genre: Fluff, Smut
Pairing: Husband!San x Fem reader
Word count: 1,8k
Warnings/tags: newlyweds, husband!san, honeymoon, pool sex, unprotected sex, teasing, fingering, dirty talk, hand job, mild breast/nipple play, semi-public sex, cumplay, squirting, talking about making a baby
After seeing this clip on Instagram I had to write a pool sex smut for Sannie, oop-
Tagging @a-soft-hornytiny to go down with me
ENJOY!
Your wedding had only been three days ago, yet you felt like you were husband and wife for years. It had always been that way, easy. When you met San, almost four years ago, he was still a twenty year old boy.
His voice still quite high, very playful and loving. It didn't take long for the two of you to fall in love. Your personality and energy matched his, and he cared for you.
When you were sick he'd take the train all across Seoul to your home to bring you soup. When it was Summer he'd plan all kinds of dates, often meaning you two would go swimming.
Growing up in Namhae, an island in the South of the country, he's always loved water. Even if it was just sitting beside the water, he'd feel peaceful and calm.
Now it's four years later, and you married the boy, who turned into a beautiful and sophisticated man. Some people disagreed with your marriage, saying you had married too quickly, and some people tended to misjudge his character. But you knew inside the handsome shell there was a warm heart.
While you thought about his kind nature, you felt a familiar hand on your shoulder. San sat down next to you on the edge of the pool, two glasses with champagne in his hands. He smiled sweetly, revealing his charming dimple.
''What are you thinking about, honey?'' he asked as he handed you a glass. ''Just how much I'm in love with you. I made the right decision marrying you,'' you smiled, sipping the champagne.
It was mid March and you were at a hotel in Thailand for your honeymoon. San had almost begged you to get a private pool on your stay, so he was pleased to know your room was at the highest floor of the hotel, with a pool on the large balcony where you could look over the entire city.
San was over the moon to be with you, unable to believe you're actually his wife now. He smiled at you, admiring the way your red bikini flattered your body shape.
After finishing his champagne, he took off the black tanktop he was wearing and let himself sink into the water.
''It's so nice, my love, it's like a big jacuzzi,'' he smiled. You grinned at him, still drinking your champagne. You watched him for a while, just swimming around, seeing him enjoy the water.
You shotted the last bit of your drink before letting yourself sink into the water as well, feeling the warm water hug your body. You swam towards him, but he smirked and you knew he'd just swim to the other side of the pool to tease you.
''San-ah~'' you whined, ''stay still!'' you laughed. He grinned and stopped swimming away. He stilled in the middle of the pool, where you met him, wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss on his temple.
''I love you, sweetheart,'' he whispered in your ear, ''and I want the whole world to know.''
''Then why did you whisper?'' you grinned, teasing him. San laughed and rolled his eyes.
''I love my Y/N!'' San yelled into the far distance. You quickly put your hand over his mouth, laughing. ''Shut up, San, you're loud.''
''As if you don't like that,'' he winked, causing you to smirk.
San had a very high libido, which resulted in you two having sex at least five days a week usually, and most days it wasn't just once. It was hard to keep up with him at first. You had never expected your sweet boy to be so horny.
As the two of you got older you kept exploring each other and found each other's turn on's. The way he turned from a more lean boy into the muscular man he is now made you weak. He now lifts you with ease, holds you still with ease and there's no way you could beat him strength-wise.
You snapped back in reality when you felt San's wet lips and tongue in your neck, causing you to moan his name. He brought the two of you closer to the edge, so you could hold onto the poolstairs. You wrapped your legs around his hips tightly, hoping to stay above water properly.
He slipped his fingers between your legs, rubbing your clothed core. You whined softly, being sensitive to his touch. He slid your bikini bottom to the side and slowly entered your pussy with 2 fingers.
Countless of times you two had been in the water together, feeling each other up. But tonight, as a married couple, with the light of the moon and the stars and the burning torches it felt special. You'd remember the feeling of his fingers in your cunt forever.
His pace was quick and he knew just how to hit your sweet spots. You tried to stay quiet, knowing there would be people who could hear you, but San was lapping at your clothed nipples and you felt yourself going insane. You couldn't help but let a moan slip from your lips.
''You're so pretty, my love, so perfect for me,'' he whispered in your ear, causing goosebumps to show up on your skin.
He undid the clasp of your top, letting it fall into the water. He licked and sucked at your bare breasts. San seemed to be so eager to have them in his mouth. You thought you'd faint at the sight of him groaning with his mouth full of your boob.
''I need your cock, San,'' you begged, not being able to hold back anymore. Your nails clawed in his back as he fucked three fingers into you.
''Yeah? You need my cock?''
''Yes, San, I need your cock.''
''You need my cock to fill your fucking pussy?''
You thought your lungs would give out, the way he'd speak to you every time you had sex. He was pure filth and you loved it.
He yanked both your bottoms off, nearly ripping them causing you to curse under your breath. ''Those aren't cheap, San,'' you warned him.
''Shut up,'' he said before sinking you down on his hard cock. ''Just take my cock, hm? Like a good girl, my good wife, hm?''
''Yes, yes, I'll take your cock,'' you moaned as he pushed himself deeper inside your hole. ''You better.''
San pushed you against the wall of the pool and you swore you scratched your back against the tiles, but with his length inside you, you couldn't care less at the moment.
You wrapped your legs around his waist so tight, causing him to smirk. He held your hips as he moved you on his dick. The water made it a heavy job, but San loved a challenge.
Your moans grew louder with every thrust, and you felt as if your bodies were colliding in the most passionate and sinful way in the silver moonlight.
Your breasts bounced lightly, splashing the warm water on his chest. He took your right nipple in his mouth, giving it a harsh suck.
''San! O-oh god, I'm close,'' you moaned. San picked up his pace, feeling you clench around him.
''Ah! A-ah, ah, San, yes, San, San!''
Groans and whines fell off your lips while you moaned his name like a mantra, feeling posessed by his love spell.
''Oh San, I'm coming, I'm coming!''
''That's it, baby, cum on my cock, tell the world who's fucking you so good,'' he groaned.
''Yes, San! Y-you, San!'' you moaned.
It took a few more thrusts for you to unravel in his arms, coming on his pulsating cock. He pulled out of you before he could cum, stopping his own orgasm.
You whined at the familiar sensation, still sensitive from your high just a minute ago.
He smirked and rubbed your clit with his thumb, causing you to whine. San kissed your head and laid you on the edge of the pool.
He climbed out of the water and hovered above you, pushing his cock inside you again.
San moved fast and quick, panting heavily now himself. He fucked you deep and hard, your eyes rolling back out of pleasure.
''You're taking my cock so well, baby, do you think you can cum on my fucking cock again? Coat it with your cum so fucking beautifully? Show me how good you are? Hm? Fuck baby,'' he cursed.
''Yes, I'm gonna cum!''
He nearly made you scream with how hard he fucked you, his knee scraping on the tile. It was worth it. Anything to see you come undone on him.
Only a minute later you felt yourself climax on his dick, sending yourself in a heavenly headspace. Your body shook around him, your nails digging in his shoulders as you squirted all over his lower body.
San smirked, his tongue darting out his mouth to lick his lips. He slowly rode out your orgasm and pulled out of your sopping cunt.
''Such a good girl, squirting all over me like a fucking waterfall,'' he groaned.
He brought himself closer to your chest, dick standing proud against his muscular stomach.
''Gonna take care of me now hm? Look at that... My hard cock with all your arousal and squirt still on it... You like that?''
''Fucking love it, San, I fucking love it!''
You spat in your hand and pumped it over his dick, making sure he was well covered before you started to jerk him off.
He groaned loudly, throwing his head back. By the way he was panting and the way his chest moved you knew he was close, and you opened your mouth.
''Cum for me, Sannie, give me all your cum,'' you begged.
Before he could say anything, San spurted his cum all over your chest and your mouth. You licked your lips as you milked him dry, getting all of his sperm out.
You panted heavily when he started licking the cum off your body, gathering it all with his tongue, which he then slid into your mouth.
You felt the cum coat your tongues while they swirled against each other.
''Swallow,'' San ordered when he pulled back from you. You gulped down the mixture of his cum and your combined saliva and closed your eyes.
After a while of laying on the cold tiles in your afterglow, he gently lifted you up and walked back into the hotel room. He put you down in the bathroom and wrapped a large sauna towel around the two of you and smiled.
''My perfect wife,'' he smiled, ''next time we'll make a baby,'' he teased.
You giggled at the thought and you wrapped your arms around his waist. ''That sounds nice, I'd like that.''
''It'll be perfect, sweetheart.''
1K notes ¡ View notes