#but character writing wise... kind of let down?
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i know i said i was happy about how mel's story went, but the more i think about it the less i'm sure about that. this is very much connected to how the themes of classism and wealth disappeared in s2, but mel in the beginning was the epitome of piltover. she wanted to advance piltover to prove herself to her mother. to "put piltoverâ" and by extension herself, "âon the map."
she wanted wealth just to have it. and i'm not blaming her for anything that happened, especially with hextech! she, just like jayce and viktor, could not have known what it would lead to. i mean yeah heimerdinger said so but who the hell listens to heimerdinger? but anyway i think mel changed throughout s1, much in thanks to jayce. by the end she's become more cognisant of the mistreatment of zaunites. she's the first to vote for their peace. she was a good person all along but now she knows how to act on it. it's also seen more in s2 act 1. when she covers her painting with gold, it's symbolicâshe won't act according to what her mother might think. she won't let her desire for approval dictate her anymore.
so somehow i wish those themes were. continued, somehow? like again they were dropped not just with mel but the whole show and it makes her story a off to me. there's no meaningful commentary on war or classism or how her ideology stands opposite to her mother's. like some people have said, it feels like she doesn't have much agency, even if she is really cool. and that to me is a shame because agency felt like her thing. "to shape your own destiny" as she says to jayce in s1. i know her collaborating with the black rose (but not fully joining them) and learning magic is supposed to represent becoming independent from her mother, taking her own path, but some other aspects of her character were thrown away... the more i think about it the more i'm thinking they kind of #girlboss-ed her a little bit. maybe to sell another champion. i can't help but feel like even though i enjoyed seeing her on screen, the payoff didn't feel proportionally satisfying compared to her setup in s1.
#mel medarda#her characteristics; the whole point of her dichotomy with her mom;#is that she does not use violence. she fights and controls with words.#with her intelligence. with her knowledge of people and their minds.#so now thinking about it i'm a little :/ that not only#did we not get to see a lot of that in s2#but she just. became another fighter?#i also know there was that whole thing about how mages aren't accepted in noxus but#honestly? kind of stupid. magic violence is still violence.#and i know arcane retcons a lot of things but.#the lore noxus. was not like that iirc. and it feels like a strange thing to just make up.#done in service just to make mel a Cool Badass Mage⢠while still saying#hey guys! she's still different from her mom don't worry!#also. hey. hey. why is she going back to noxus. can someone to explain that to me#like ok i know it's her only connection left. i kinda understand.#but at the same time...? what. is she gonna do there#i know sevimel is a crackship but i kinda wished she stayed in piltover to help#better things for zaunites. and help sevika on the council#(god knows she needs it)#that might have been a fitting conclusion to her character. to me!#look i cant lie and say i hated watching mel be all badass like. she's awesome.#but character writing wise... kind of let down?#we didn't even get to know more about her past or where she's from.#and yes i know they're prolly going to explain it in the new show because they were noxusbaiting hard.#but man... i don't know...#sorry holy shit that's a lot of words.#if anyone has any opinions would love to hear them. still very conflicted on this whole thing.#it just feels like i'm missing something.#arcane
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re the first three tlovm s3 episode title teaser fr. vex getting [redacted] while standing in front of percy . i will undoubtedly have Thoughts about plot n adaption once the whole season is out but i will say people acting like vex potentially dying again is a betrayal of the arc is . i say this politely. ridiculous. vexâs most common habit aside from haggling and flirting in campaign 1 was being knocked unconscious. she required full ass resurrection spells on four separate occasions. we currently have no idea what the shape of any arc in season 3 will look like beyond broad strokes and teasing shots. if they end up wanting to incorporate the exandrian magic lore of itâs harder to come back each time you die, vex seems like the obvious opportunity to do so. please at the very least save the panic posting for when you actually have something to panic about .
#maybe this is just my âthatâs my favourite character. iâd love to see them Dieâ syndrome#but i see vex get shot i start jumping up and down and clapping. yes . yes#potentially exploring vexâs feelings on dying explicitly in the show whereas laura did it fairly subtly/internally with vexâs choices#in the campaign? iâd love to see it. potentially both vex and percy dying and getting sent to hell by ripleyâs cursed gun and getting the#Where Do The People I Kill Go convo earlier?#i Would miss the true loves nat 20 donât get me wrong. but i also think that moment hits so hard Because of the At A Table-ness of it#part of the moment isnât just vex pleading with percy. itâs laura appealing to talâs sense of story. itâs laura managing to break notable#Rare Crier Sam Riegel. itâs the fact that itâs a dice roll and travis encouraging matt to look and mattâs awed âi believe itâ#and i think dialogue wise thereâs some stuff with the speech itself that might not be super well suited as writing choices#versus when it was improv.#idk man i just. iâm big on letting mediums play into what mediums play into. telling the same story in different mediums is nonsensical 2 me#how you meet a story is Part of the story#tlovm spoilers#kind of#critical role
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Maybe it's the result of my main fandom for the majority of my life being one where canon just genuinely doesn't exist, where there are so many different canons and literally any sort of interpretation of a single character is correct and can range from a moronic maniac with a chainsaw to a depressed old asshole boss, but
Literally who gives a fuck about canon?
Especially when the character is practically a blank slate or if it's an AU
Like, I'm sorry, but if you're butthurt about a mischaracterisation of a fictional character in an Alternative Universe then I don't think you understand what an AU is
#thylacines can talk#Maybe that's the reason I do not have the same violent reaction to mischaracterisation 99% of fandom spaces seems to have#I genuinely think that getting butthurt over somebody not writing a fictional character exactly how they appear in canon is the stupidest#most juvenile pet peeve you could ever have. Literally WHY do you care so much? It's words on a screen. Calm down.#I think it's only a problem when you believe that it's canon or try to shove your own interpretation of a character or AUs onto everybody#else. Otherwise...literally who cares? Somebody else treating characters like dolls is not hurting me. I'm not about to get legitimately#annoyed over fictional characters in a children's cat book. Unless it's like. Bigoted. But then I criticise the person's beliefs not a#goddammed characterisation of a fictional character.#In the fandom I was in most of my life a trigger-happy clown with a chainsaw canon and an old deppressed asshole boss were seen as the same#character and only had like. One design detail in common. And literally nobody batted an eye. You could write a dynamic between two#characters being incredibly hateful and toxic and somebody else could write them as old friends or an old married couple and both of these#interpretations would be equally canon. A single guy could have two wildly different personalities and backstories and he'd still be#treated like the same character as long as the two looked vaguely similar physically wise. Sure there were interpretations of characters#that were more popular than others but literally the only people who would treat one specific interpretation as canon and shove that#interpretation onto everybody else would be people who came from different kinds of fandoms and let me tell you. They were annoying as fuck#So coming from that kind of fandom into more generic mainstream fandoms feels like such a culture shock. Genuinely cannot comprehend why#people care so much.#'oh this character is so far from canon they might as well make an oc' okay...cool...and?#Maybe they don't want to make an oc?? I mean come on. It's fictional characters. You're an adult. It's not a fucking English class#People don't come to fandoms to study book literacy they come here to have fun. Literally WHO CARES if somebody's interpretation of a#character has only name and looks common with the canon version. WHO CARES. ITS WORDS ON THE SCREEN. Who are they hurting if they're just#making AUs in their own corner and not shoving it in anyone's face?#Idk I just see a characterisation I don't agree with and just go oh. Kinda weird but go off. And move on.#This got longer than I meant it to but whatever#I mean if you have that pet peeve but aren't an asshole about it. It's also whatever. That opinion also doesn't hurt anybody. It's only#people who act so butthurt about it and shit on other people having fun that I have a problem with. If you put it on your own blog and#criticise that sort of content in your own space instead of coming to somebody and going 'hey. I don't like what you're doing'. Then I#couldn't care less. Again. That's kinda weird but go off#It's kind of like. I like horror but I dont care if you dont like horror and talk about it in your own space. But I'm gonna care if you#go up to horror fans and go 'hey I think horror sucks' or 'I dont like horror so you shouldn't either'.
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as a Rebecca enjoyer I would really like to see some options in book 4 digging into how little has changed if your detective is seeking or ambivalent to reconciliation, or the absence of apologies. As well as detectives who arenât seeking/rejecting reconciliation but Rebecca cannot let go of anyways. Especially since weâve now had one of the few times, according to the detectiveâs memory, Rebecca explicitly expressing regret for her actions.
#I kind of disagree w most people that the narrative is pushing you into forgiving her#kind of.#I think wayhavenâs writing style is intentionally pretty transparent to the reader on character motivations#even when they/the detective arenât explicitly aware#thereâs enough context clues to get an idea of whatâs sitting underneath the surface#so I think the emphasis on Rebeccaâs grief around her kid is more about telling the audience that her feelings on these matters ARE sincere#in nature. at least to how Rebecca interprets then#but what id enjoy seeing some more of in book 4 is the choice to pull open the conflicts happening here#Rebecca runs away AND engages w the detective irrespective of their wishes because she simultaneously cannot accept this relationship as#broken beyond repair AND is unable to acknowledge to herself the core issue to their relationship#the job was an obstacle yeah but the true conflict to their relationship is Rebeccaâs avoidance w dealing w grief#and it results in what we see in either relationship state#I canât let you go/I canât believe itâs broken beyond repair <- canât acknowledge what I chose to do#I canât break down these walls/wonât spend time with you <- wonât acknowledge I ran away from you out of grief#and I think the next step narrative wise now that the tone to their relationship has gone through the big revalation arcs#is to start unpacking the WHYS#allow the detective to have those hard conversations and deal w whether Rebecca runs away from those or not#tunes talks wayhaven
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OMG no way are you going to write an AU of Daemon's visions at Harrenhal??? I know its AAAAAGES away from where you are in the current story but desperate hos wanna kno ;)
Ask, and ye shall receive!
until i bleed myself dry
Note: This is technically using the characters/characterisation I have established in my terms of endearment series, but really you only need to know that the Reader is Rhaenyra's younger sister and that, instead of marrying Laena, he spent a decade ho-ing it up in Pentos before coming home and getting dazzled by his niece before deciding to wife dat gurl.
WARNING: Please note this is dark, dark stuff. Discretion is advised. Please use your judgement wisely before engaging.
Triggers: graphic depictions of violence, violence against children, character d*ath, MAJOR hallucinations, sexual scenes including visibly underaged character/s.
There is something fucking wrong with this place.
Daemon feels like a skittish child as he withdraws to his chambers, covers drawn up to his neck like the fabric will keep away the very worst of midnight evils. He does not know if the steady drip, drip, drip he hears is in his head or if the stone ceiling is cracked enough to let through the rain. Knowing Harrenhal, he would hardly be surprised by the latter. Still, the noise only serves to speed the racing of his thoughts, turning them fearful as he has not felt since the weakness of his youth.
In this moment, he curses his own doings. If he had stayed his handâif he had held his tongueâthe boy would not be dead, and mayhaps you would not be so wroth with him. He would not be alone in this shithole of a keep a world away, chilled to the bone and miserable as he thinks of you warm and safe in your bed with the children. Without him.
When he finally falls asleep, he dreams.
He knows it is a dream, for he can hear your humming. Soft, sweet, the kind of tune you sing to Daeryx after one of his tantrums. His head lifts from the pillow and he finds himself back in your shared rooms on Dragonstone, eyes finding you in the chair by the hearth. Your hair, unbound, shines like molten amber in the firelight, swaying softly as you tend to business that is concealed from his gaze. Enthralled, he rises, making his way to you.
Drip, drip, drip.
He pauses. That sound⌠it doesnât belong here. He calls your name. You ignore him. He moves closer, tentative.
âCome look,â you murmur suddenly, startling him. âCome, kepus.â
His feet move unbidden, out of his control.
Bile pools at the back of his throat, gut curdling at the sight of the boyâthe boyâcradled in your lap. You and he are wet with blood, and it drip, drip, drips to the floor, echoing eerily. His eyes are open, face petrified, and Daemon realises that the dark at his neck is not in fact a shadow but a gaping wound, made jagged by the weapon used.
You look up at him, skin shining with sweat and expression exultant. âLook at him, kepus. Look at what you made.â
Memory flashesâhe brings his son back down to rest beside his daughter on your lap, two moonshine miracles side by side. âLook at them, kepus,â you whisper, spellbound. âLook at what we madeââand his lungs constrict. You make to lift the child up, but the movement jostles his head off its perch, and it rolls to the ground to stop by his feet. He cannot move. He is frozen, horrified.
You smile, tucking the headless corpse under your chin. Gore pulses against your throat as your chin settles to the yawning maw of the childâs open neck. You rock in your seat, a faint squelch each time your shifting weight disturbs the sodden cushion beneath you.
âI love him,â you whisper, lips pressing to where flesh meets innards. Your mouth comes away red. âI love him so much.â
Daemon awakens with a yell. He swallows once, twice, and thenâ
He leans over the side of the bed, retching violently. When it is over, he curls up on his side, shaking, staring at his hands. They are wet with blood.
It does not take long for terror to settle in his bones like a longtime companion. It follows him each day, in every waking moment, manifesting in strange visions that he knowsâhe knowsâmust be untrue, cannot possibly be real, and yet⌠And yet. There is a sort of verity in them.
Dark Sister feels like a leaden weight at his hip as he stalks the keep, a reminder of his earlier encounter with Rhaenyra. Only she was not the Rhaenyra he knows, and instead a strange sort of blend of child-queen, the face of the girl peering out accusingly from under her fatherâs too-large crown, exclaiming all manner of hurt as she stepped from the Iron Throne upon which she perched.
âYou put me on that throne. And you love me, and you hate me for it. You created me, Daemon. Yet you are now set on destroying me. All because your brother loved me more than he did you.â
And, without warning, he had taken his blade up in arms and struck off her head, a puppet on strings pulled by another. As her body fell, it morphed into the boy again. Jaehaerys. The child he had murdered. He heard your humming even while Simon Strongâs voice filtered through his unconscious mind, alerting him of the raven that just arrived.
The healer womanâs concoctions have helped little. He still wakes to strange noises, still finds himself stalking after his monstrous one-eyed nephew down the halls, only to find that it is himself he is pursuing. He hears the words you yelled at him in that last great quarrelâ âget away, leave before you turn on us and murder us like you murdered that boyââinterspersed with the sound of your screams, and perhaps they are the screams you let out when birthing his children, or perhaps they are screams of a different kind, a version of himself making good on the implication of your words, steel in hand and pursuing his love, his life, his bloodâ
These figments blur with reality to the point that he becomes unsure of what is before him and what exists only in his head to haunt him. He comes to dread the resting hours, only to find their horrors bleeding into daylight. Whatever strange power has come to roost in his mind serves only to bring him torment.
Perhaps this is why he is not immediately suspicious when he comes face-to-face with you once more.
You stand by the window, the dim light filtering weakly over your bare form. Your back is to him, curls spilling to brush the tops of your buttocks. Their gentle swayâthe barest kiss to your skinâis tantalising, and his mouth dries even as he watches your neck crane, sly smile tossed back over your shoulder at him.
âDaemon,â you beckon. Like a cuntstruck fool, he is helpless to resist the call.
His hands settle to the familiar divots of your waist, up and up and up to cup the fullness of your tits. You lean into him, a quiet huff of pleasure escaping as his fingers squeeze and his lips fall unbidden to the slope of your jaw. He inhales deeply, stirred even now by the simplicity of your scent, a throbbing line straight to his groin. You turn in his hold, nose nuzzling against his chin.
âYou were right,â you say, eyes shining. âYou were always right.â
He is under some enchantment, surely, for he is incapable of coherent speech. All he can do is feel the satisfaction heat his veins, allow it to tug at the corner of his mouth. I knew it, he thinks. I knew her will would bend eventually.
You speak still, even as he backs you toward the bed. âPapa was weak. Rhaenyra is weak. Only you are the true blood of the dragon.â
You shift backward onto the mattress, legs parting invitingly. The split of you opens, revealing flushed folds and the teasing glimmer of want, shining slick for his hungered gaze.
âFearlessââyour hand trails down your belly, fingers tracing around your pearlââbraveââyou venture lower, pressing teasingly at your cunt, your lip caught between your teethââstrong.â
Daemon drops to his knees before you, tongue licking through the spill and catching on your finger. He bullies it out of the way, arms locking around your thighs as he gluts himself on the sweet tang of you, senses clouding and narrowing to a singular point of existence. You grip his hair, the arches of your feet digging against his back.
âIt is not my place to question you,â you breathe, twisting and writhing with his ministrations. He watches your face, enraptured by the toss of your head and the shape of your lips as they form moan after moan. Your release is quick, a final sobbing yelp followed by a flood of slick warmth. When your eyes reopen, they are blazing with reverence. Reverence for him. Your knees flex up, your lower half folded almost to your chest. Your cunt contracts, fluttering like the wings of a butterfly. âI live to serve you, my king.â
His head feels heavy as he rises just barely to crawl over you. He frowns. When he lifts his hand to extricate yours from his hair, he finds not flesh, but cool metal. A crown.
âMy king,â you coo below him.
Your surroundings are changed. It is not the meagre offerings of Harrenhal that frame you now, but the sumptuous trimmings of the kingâs chambers in the Red Keep, only brighter, more lavish than they ever have been. Jewels sparkle at your throat, in your hair, at your wrists. The sheets are molten gold against your silver-pale, and you wind your hips up at him provocatively, catching his cockhead against your opening.
âYou belong on the throne, husband,â you say, fist closing around his shaft and pumping once, twice. You lead him back to the core of you, nudging him just inside. âUncle. My love. And I belong at your sideâat your feetâunder your body.â
âMy queen,â he gasps, driving forward with a grunt, and oh, he has missed you, missed this, missed the clutch of your walls like a motherâs embrace and the sound of your breathy cries as he plunges deep. Plunges home.
âMy king,â you call out, rising into him with unrestrained abandon, precious gems clinking frantically with each fevered hitch of his hips against yours. âMy lord. My master. I was made for you.â
âYesâŚâ
âChain me to this bed, my king.â Your spine arches toward him, hands grabbing for his own and leading them above your head. He takes this for the encouragement it is, pinning your wrists to the pillow and rutting harder. You shout, elbows flexing to no avail. âGive to me my purpose. Give me your heirs.â
He is helpless to stop the noises escaping his mouth, feral and uninhibited, fucking with near painful intent. You take it all, curving yourself deeper, holding yourself more open so that he may lay claim to his conquest. As only a king can.
âAnd when I have birthed one,â you say, though now it is more a prolonged keening sound, âgive me another. Never stop. Oh! Make meâmake me take itââ
He does not know if he is imagining it or if it is happening before his eyes, but he can see it: ruling the Seven Kingdoms, sitting the Iron Throne the way his brother never could, striding down the halls of the keep as the commons bow and scrape to their sovereign, bursting into his chambers after small council to find his queen, to find you where you always are, naked in his bed and belly round and leaking milky white between your thighs, for it is his kingly law that the only part you play here is this, waiting for him to find you and fuck you and fill you and keep you, his little niecewifequeenpetâ
He snarls, pulsing and burning. You squeal as he pushes past onslaught and straight to violence, bodies colliding so forcefully that his bones ache and his brain feels like jelly wobbling in his skull. What leaves his mouth can only be bestial in nature now. âIâll make youââ
âYes, make me take it until I cannot. Until my cunt is ruined by you.â He feels his end rushing up with every word you wail, his joints locking and grinding and gut roiling with the anticipation of it. âUntil my womb is destroyed. Until I bleed myself dry, my king. Only for you.â
âWhaââ
The horror of it escapes him, for it is too late: the release crashes on him like a tidal wave, shoving him below its surface and imprisoning him in its current. He makes a noise like a wounded boar, chasing through the high despite the alarm in his mind, so at odds with the soaring rhythm in his loins.
You laugh, tilting welcomingly to receive him. âMake me bleed, my king. Make me bleed like my mother.â
It is enough to chill the heat in his blood to ice, destroying any semblance of enjoyment. But he cannot stop the unsteady eking out of what remains of his peak. He tries, but he cannot stop.
âNo,â he says, a contradiction to the enthusiasm of his flesh prison. âNo, no, I cannot. Noââ
âWhat do you mean?â you ask, a strange quality to it. A duality. It crystallises into something comprehensible with every word that comes from your lips. All at once, it is not your voice he hears, but something much higher, younger, blending and overlapping with the cadence he recognises. âYou already have.â
He looks down as he makes his final groaning thrusts, only to feel his stomach drop through the floor. Your thighs are soaked in blood, his cock sluicing a path through it all the while. All that flesh covered in red, and he glances up, only to see that you are gone, you are replaced by someone so small, so frightfully small, and he realises you are not replaced, it is you, but it is a you he has not seen for well over ten years, eyes wide and frightened and gleaming like game stuck through by an arrow and taking its final breath.
Daemon rears back, but it is too late. You begin to cry. A dark patch spreads out from underneath your broken body, from where he had torn your fragile opening apart. What have I done? he thinks.
âIt hurts, kepus,â you say. âIt hurts.â
âIâm sorry,â he chokes out, fixed to stillness by revulsion. âIâm sorry. I never meant toââ
âBut you did,â you insist, childish pout despite your obvious agony.
Your hands reach out, and he leans away, too horrified to touch youâand he doesnât know if it is you or he that he is more afraid of in this momentâbut you are not searching through the air for him, no. Instead, a bundled weight is settled in them, and you bring it into the crook of your arms, gripping it as though it is the most precious of objects. You smooth the fabric from the top of it to reveal a tiny head of silver hair. The babe gurgles and roots at your flat chest, absurd and awful.
âThis is what you wanted,â you say, eyes filled with betrayal. âAm I going to die now, kepus?â
Your GraceâŚ
He shakes his head, but he is no fool. You are too little to withstand the sheer volume of blood you have lost if the bedding is anything to go by. He feels it stain his legs. He feels it drying on his cock.
âYour Grace?â
âI will, though. Iâm too young. Youâve killed me.â The babe begins to suckle, and you cry harder. Your body isnât built for this task, not yet, not like this. He wants to protest, to tell you that this is not his work, cannot be, for he has and would never do something so foul, so wholly inhuman, that the you he has gotten with child has only ever been a woman grown, but it is like you know his thoughts for you scoff and say, âYouâre lying to yourself. I was always too young. You just refused to see it.â
He stares down at you, immobile, unable to even think. The metallic scent of your life leaving you fills the air, floods his nostrils with stinging heat.
â⌠Your Grace?â
Daemon jolts, blinking. Ser Simon Strong looks back at him. âIs the duck not to your liking, Your Grace?â
All at once, you are gone. The kingâs chambers are gone. He is not even within his dank chambers at Harrenhal. Instead, he sits at the table in what passes for the dining hall here, a plate full of food steaming before him. The smell makes him ill.
âThereâs also goose, if youâd preferâŚâ
He swallows, trying to ground himself in the present. Voices waft all around him, but he finds it difficult to pay attention.
âIâm not hungry,â he says shortly. It sounds stronger than he feels.
A pause, and thenâ
Simon clears his throat, turning to his companions. âI was saying, given the rather dire newsâŚâ
Daemon tries to concentrate. He does. He knows the others are speaking of matters of utmost importance. Of  Rookâs Rest, of his nephew, of the war. But his mind can only turn over his encounterâhis vision? His nightmare? Or is it merely truth finally unveiled to unworthy eyes?âwith you, the last of your words haunting him near to madness.
âI was always too young. You just refused to see it.â
He has grown restless here, revolving between the frustration of securing an army from those who see naught in him but the very worst and the torment of these terrible visions that seek him out at their pleasure, heedless of his duty or desire. Tedium or terrorâwhen he is entrenched in one, he wishes for the other, and there is always a sick sort of irony in the granting of said wishes. In truth, he is able enough to tolerate the resistance of these riverlanders, insulting as it is. The phantasms that pursue him have almost become too much to bear.
What is worse? The accusations from the mouth of a juvenile Rhaenyra, full of admonishments for the way heâd so thoroughly undermined her claim before she ever got the right to exercise it? The condemnations from Viserys, a retracing of steps trod so long ago, brought to life once more and forcing Daemon to relive the very worst of his brother? The boyâs laughter darting through the stone halls, an ominous prelude to the sickening sound of steel sawing through skin and the rolling of his head, landing always at the feet of the one responsible for his fate?
They are all bad enough as they are, but for the simple fact that they do not surprise him. Monster, they call him, and he wears the name well. In most all aspects, he is a monster. But never has he thought himself monstrous to you.
He has come to despise the sight of you here, sometimes docile and worshipful, sometimes angered and raving. Sometimes you appear as a siren come to lure him to iniquity, and like a fool he always falls into the trap. Other times, you are battered, caged, a shell of yourself. No matter how it begins, the end is always the same: bloodied, beaten, fading from the world, and it is always his hands he finds the cause of it in. A new reminder every time of all the ways he has thought of taking you, owning you, keeping you. Always, he thinks to save youâto protect you. Always, he destroys you.
Just as he thinks himself finally driven to the edge of all reason, the Rivers woman beckons him to the godswood.
âWhen you came here,â she says, âyou were a closed fist. You wished to bend the world to your will. But youâve discovered, I think, that⌠this world will not be governed. There are omens here for those who seek them.â
She pauses. The air seems to whisper, to creak in the dark. Daemon suppresses the urge to shiver. Her eyes move to him, an odd little quirk to her mouth. Amusement, he thinks. Or pity.
âYou do not scoff?â she asks.
How can he, after all he has seen here? He has been brought to the very edge of sanity by these omens. What irony, it is, after the great complaints he has made of superstition in past weeks (and months, and years).
âIâm no longer inclined to,â is his short reply.
She laughs. âIâm pleased to hear it.â
She stops before the heart tree and turns to him, expression solemn.
âDo you wish, then, to learn what is given to you?â The answer must lie in his face, for he cannot do anything but stare, silent, tense. âAll your life, you have sought to command your own fateââshe takes his handââbut today, you are ready.â
Gentle pressure at his wrist, and something in him knows to move past her, to take those final few steps so that he is close enough to make out the details of the face carved into the wood. His arm raises by itself, acting on its own power, or perhaps some higher power, his fingers brushing bark and the hot pulse of⌠blood? But he has no time to truly question it forâ
He is flyingâ
Noâ
He is a raven, staring at the face of a pale-haired man with a wine-dark stain on his face and he flies into the forest, towards an army, only there is something wrong with the soldiers, they are blue and their eyes glow ice-cold and their breath is frosted with death and their bodies carry the look of corpses stood upright once moreâ
And then the dragons are dead, all of them, the ground wet not with water but with blood and he walks through it, falls straight into the ground and he is drowning, steel plate armour dragging him down into the depths and he looks up at the skyâ
A red comet bursts through the air, hot like fire, and he sees eggs embroiled in flame, a girl sat in ash cradling the bodies of three newly-hatched dragons, a whisper of a memory on the air, âwe are the only ones able to bring the fire to life⌠It is the secretââ
And he is before the Iron Throne, suddenly silent.
Rhaenyra stands before the seat. Viserysâs crown is in his hands. She moves toward him, down the stairs of the throne. He hears her speak.
âFrom my bloodâŚâ
But she does not finish. A roaring conflagration engulfs her and she screams, twisting and warping before him, burning, only not, because you step from the flames, unburnt, voice mingling with that of your sisterâs, a haunting echo.
â⌠come the Prince Who Was PromisedâŚâ
You are before him, taking the crown from his grasp and retracing the steps your sister took, and then you are stepping over a charred body, Rhaenyra, oh gods, and ascending the steps. You sit. You lift the crown. You place it on your head.
â⌠and his shall be the song of ice and fire.â
He is on his knees now, right on that final step at your feet. He feels the warmth of you as you bend forward, your palm caressing his jaw. You look otherworldly in the shadow, backlit silver and gold and wearing a kingâs accoutrements far better than any of your predecessors.
âYou know what must happen now, Uncle,â you say gently, kindly. âYou know what you must do.â
He bows his head to kiss your ringâthe seal of the kingâno, the queenâand then wind is whistling in his ears, chilling him to the bone and spraying his hair about wildly, so much so that he can barely hear the words yelled at him by the boy sitting astride Vhagar.
âYou have lived too long, nuncle.â
âand he wrenches away, panting, body collapsing before the heart tree like a puppet with its strings cut. The world comes back to him in fragments: the scent of dirt and woodlands, the sharp sting of cold, the ache in his muscles that has since settled like sludge at the bottom of a river, ever-present and persisting. Finally, finally, he withdraws with hands washed clean, free of his many sins.
At last, he has come to the crux of it. At last, he understands.
He sits at the base of the tree, stunned and overcome, as faint words slither on the breeze, a final knell from the liminal space of prophecy. Your name. A cheer.
âLong live the queen! Long live the queen!â
Read on AO3:
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Click here to apply for the general taglist! Click here to apply for the terms of endearment taglist!
#daemon targaryen#daemon targaryen fanfiction#daemon targaryen x reader#daemon targaryen x you#daemon fanfiction#daemon x reader#daemon x you#house of the dragon#house of the dragon fanfiction#hotd#hotd fanfiction#a song of ice and fire#asoiaf#asoiaf fanfiction#a song of ice and fire fanfiction#daemon targaryen x oc#daemon x oc#matt smith#terms of endearment au#terms of endearment blurbs
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About the "kwamis as mentors" angle: Interesting to read and analyse, yet I can't help but feel they were not necessarily meant to be seen as mentors. At least to me, they seemed to be kind of whacky mascot characters who are tied to the lore, who have a personality to crack a joke or point something out or cause a little situation or be cute, but nothing more.
They are rather naive magical entities chained to jewelry (a fact they don't seem to mind that much or think about at all except for Plagg) and all that talk about "being around for 5000 years" and having seen many holders before is just there to make them seem more wise than they actually act like. From what I've seen on the show I would even assume there's a threshold to how much they can even mature emotionally and understand humans. Sometimes Tikki and Plagg even come off as indifferent and egoistical towards their holders (like an example you gave with Tikki, or Plagg's fixation on cheese over Adrien at times).
So...sorry if I missed it, but why do you view them as mentor characters? You made an interesting post about rom-com vs magical girl and the magical girl part is exactly why I always viewed them just as critters to appeal to kids, but nothing more. I can see that the show's writing is so inconsistent that sometimes they are portrayed as wise but more often then not they are just background noise to get a little interaction on screen so that the characters are not talking to themselves about miraculous stuff or to point something out for the audience.
The show's writing is pretty weird, so there are elements that are hard to get a clear read on. The Kwamis are one such element. When they're one-on-one with their chosen, they often feel like mentors to me. When they're all together, they almost always read like "critters to appeal to kids" (mostly because there are too many of them to let them have individual personalities when they're all together). So while I think that they're supposed to be mentors, it's not like that's the only canon-accurate read.
To dig into what I mean by the one-on-one writing, let's look at this exchange from Feast:
Master Fu:Â See, Wayzz? If Marinette had kept her Miraculous, the sentimonster would have swallowed her right up. Wayzz:Â Or she would have transformed into Ladybug and fought it. Master Fu:Â Sometimes fighting is futile, Wayzz.
And then later on we get this:
Wayzz: Master, look! Ladybug and Cat Noir, despite their ridiculous costumes, they haven't let you down! Wang Fu: That's impossible! They don't have their Miraculous! Wayzz: Master, it's obvious it's themâwho else would do something so crazy? Cat Noir (Adrien): Hey, have a taste of this! Some exploding banana split from Bananoir! Ladybug (Marinette): Much tastier than any Miraculous! Wayzz: Look, Master, there's no use in running! Your disciples never give up the fight, no matter what! With or without their Miraculous, they are Ladybug and Cat Noir!
That's some pretty active mentoring right there.
Wayzz is probably the character that feels the most like a mentor to me. When he's with Fu, he feels like Fu's partner or adviser, which is why I think that the Kwami's aren't supposed to just be cute critters. They're regular ol' Jimmy Crickets meant to act as a conscience that the characters can talk to since this is visual media and you want a way for the characters to talk through their thoughts instead of having them do it all internally.
I also present this exchange from Desperada as evidence:
Adrien: Plagg, Ladybug needs me. She needs "Adrien"! Plagg: If you asked me, this whole idea is worse than cheese in a can. Adrien: She thinks I'm the perfect guy for this mission. Plagg: You can't be Cat Noir and another superhero at the same time! Which means that you're not the perfect guy for this mission. Adrien: The Lucky Charm told her I am. Plagg: That's not how it works. Why am I bothering? You're not even listening.
We then get Plagg reiterating that this is a bad idea through multiple loops, ending with this:
Plagg: Ah! At last, you've come to your senses. Adrien: I'm not sure Ladybug will have very fond memories of her experience with "Adrien Agreste". Plagg: Then make up for it as Cat Noir.
See? I told you Plagg can be a good mentor when he wants to! Tikki, take notes!
I'd even call this bit from Sapitos some quality subtle mentoring from Trixx:
Alya: Oh please, Ladybug! We'd make a great team! I could help Cat Noir and you every day! Ladybug:(her earrings ring) I'm about to transform back! Hurry! Alya: Please? Ladybug: I have to go! I'm trusting you! (opens a nearby door and goes inside, so she can detransform) Trixx: You're absolutely right, Alya. I'm sure the three of you would make quite the team! You have all the makings of a true superhero. You're strong, brave; but most of all, you're trustworthy.
Way to both build Alya up and reminder her of her duty, Trixx. Gold star. Quality mentorship!
So are the Kwamis supposed to be mentors? Who knows! I just see them fill the role often enough to feel comfortable judging them through that lens.
Miraculous also isn't the only magical girl team show to make the cute critters into mentors. That's a pretty standard path even though it's also common to see the critters used to sell merch/appeal to kids and nothing more. In terms of classic magical girl team shows, I'd say that the Kwamis are written way more like Luna and Artemis from Sailor Moon than Mini Mew from Tokyo Mew Mew.
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Character Development: 70 Questions
Self-Reflective Questions. To help jumpstart self-reflection (Woronko, n.d.):
Am I using my time wisely?
Am I taking anything for granted?
Am I employing a healthy perspective?
Am I living true to myself?
Am I waking up in the morning ready to take on the day?
Am I thinking negative thoughts before I fall asleep?
Am I putting enough effort into my relationships?
Am I taking care of myself physically?
Am I letting matters that are out of my control stress me out?
Am I achieving the goals that Iâve set for myself?
The following are questions you can ask yourself every day to get to know yourself better (William, n.d.):
Who am I, really?
What worries me most about the future?
If this were the last day of my life, would I have the same plans for today?
What am I really scared of?
Am I holding on to something I need to let go of?
If not now, then when?
What matters most in my life?
What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life?
Why do I matter?
Have I done anything lately thatâs worth remembering?
Have I made someone smile today?
What have I given up on?
When did I last push the boundaries of my comfort zone?
If I had to instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby, what advice would I give?
What small act of kindness was I once shown that I will never forget?
How will I live, knowing I will die?
What do I need to change about myself?
Is it more important to love or be loved?
How many of my friends would I trust with my life?
Who has had the greatest impact on my life?
Would I break the law to save a loved one?
Would I steal to feed a starving child?
What do I want most in life?
What is life asking of me?
Which is worse: failing or never trying?
If I try to fail and succeed, what have I done?
Whatâs the one thing Iâd like others to remember about me at the end of my life?
Does it really matter what others think about me?
To what degree have I actually controlled the course of my life?
When all is said and done, what will I have said more than Iâve done?
These prompts and questions are great ways to put your journal to use (Tartakovsky, 2014):
My favorite way to spend the day is . . .
If I could talk to my teenage self, the one thing I would say is . . .
The two moments Iâll never forget in my life are . . . (Describe them in great detail, and what makes them so unforgettable.)
Make a list of 30 things that make you smile.
âWrite about a moment experienced through your body. Making love, making breakfast, going to a party, having a fight, an experience youâve had or you imagine for your character. Leave out thought and emotion, and let all information be conveyed through the body and senses.â
The words Iâd like to live by are . . .
I couldnât imagine living without . . .
When Iâm in painâphysical or emotionalâthe kindest thing I can do for myself is . . .
Make a list of the people in your life who genuinely support you, and whom you can genuinely trust. Then, make time to hang out with them.
What does unconditional love look like for you?
What things would you do if you loved yourself unconditionally? How can you act on these things, even if youâre not yet able to love yourself unconditionally?
I really wish others knew this about me . . .
Name what is enough for you.
If my body could talk, it would say . . .
Name a compassionate way youâve supported a friend recently. Then, write down how you can do the same for yourself.
What do you love about life?
What always brings tears to your eyes? (As Paulo Coelho has said, âTears are words that need to be written.â)
Write about a time when your work felt real, necessary and satisfying to you, whether the work was paid or unpaid, professional or domestic, physical or mental.
Write about your first loveâwhether itâs a person, place or thing.
Using 10 words, describe yourself.
Whatâs surprised you the most about your life or life in general?
What can you learn from your biggest mistakes?
I feel most energized when . . .
âWrite a list of questions to which you urgently need answers.â
Make a list of everything that inspires youâwhether books, websites, quotes, people, paintings, stores, or stars in the sky.
Whatâs one topic you need to learn more about to help you live a more fulfilling life? (Then, follow through and learn more about that topic.)
I feel happiest in my skin when . . .
Make a list of everything youâd like to say no to.
Make a list of everything youâd like to say yes to.
Write the words you need to hear.
Source â More: Writing Notes & References â Writing Resources PDFs
#character development#writing reference#writeblr#writing inspiration#writers on tumblr#spilled ink#dark academia#literature#writing prompt#character building#poets on tumblr#psychology#light academia#fiction#creative writing#writing inspo#writing ideas#writing tips#writing advice#james tissot#writing resources
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So wooo it's been a while since I stepped foot in here, started posting around May (and then took down the first fic because I didn't like it) and I'm really glad I did because writing is the one thing that has really resonated with me my whole life.Â
I reached 200 followers at the beginning of November and now I'm 6 from 300, which, again, is crazy! And I have a tag list now, it's unbelievable. Thank you so much to each one of you, I love you.
So I definitely want to give something back to this amazing community.
Starting today I'm going to try to do a monthly post dedicated to all the amazing stories I've read.Â
This month will be a list of all the works that have stuck with me since I have been here, unfortunately I will never remember them all because my memory sucks, but I hope I have included most of them.
I am so looking forward to discovering many more authors (my tbr list is so long, so many fics so little time, I really hope to read more over the Christmas holidays) in the coming months and I hope to grow this little space more and more into something safe, friendly and nice for everyone.
(Feel free to add me on discord if you like and you haven't already, I'm always happy to chat and make friends, you can find it in my bio).
Anyway, let's cut to the chase, it's a long list of outstanding work below the cut:Â
⢠The Wolf You Feed - @arcanefox207 Joel Miller x f!reader
Look, I'm so in love with her Joel. Heâs hot, he's grumpy but also comforting, he plays guitar, he feels true to character. So precious.
⢠BDSMaid - @mountainsandmayhem
Basically, my Roman Empire. Everything about this is so damn good and this Joel? Hello? Please marry me? I will never stop screaming about him. Also, yes, itâs an AU but he feels so Joel, you know.
⢠Do your worst, Little Dove from Little Dove series - @mountainsandmayhem Joel Miller x f!reader
This changed my entire brain, okay. Probably the hottest thing I've ever read and if you're into sub!Joel this is something you should read immediately.
⢠Never made it as a wise man and following chapters - @almostempty Joel Miller x f!reader
Never laughed so hard for a fic and honestly, after this I learned that Wed could write whatever and I'll worship that.
⢠He knows - @almostempty
Lucien x f!reader
The way itâs written itâs out of this world, I loved it so muchâĽď¸
⢠Self esteem series - @almostempty
She managed to make me fall in love with fuckboy!Joel, which is remarkable because thereâs nothing I hate more in this world than fuckboys, like I despise them with all my heart but Iâm still here wanting to kneel in front of him. Damn, Wed, stop doing this to me. (Jk)
⢠Paris, Texas - @almostempty
Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier PeĂąa
*laugh hysterically* I want to live in this fic. I want to be reader. No, actually I want to be the fourth.
⢠Unscripted desires - @gothcsz Javier Peùa x f!reader
The way Kat writes Javi is something unique, I don't even know how she managed to write so much about him doing a fucking banger every single time. This one was probably the first thing I read written by Kat and I'm not going to forget my first love anytime soon.
⢠Blackmail - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier Peùa
I read this series in one day and I was so needy when I finished, jeez! Milla is so damn good and sheâs an absolute queen at writing dirty talk, it's honestly unbelievable the way she delivers every single time and leave me speechless.
⢠Her - from 5 days collection - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader
Itâs so dear to my heart (odd to say this about a pegging fic? Probably, but I still stand by what I just said). It was so good that inspired me to write a pegging fic myself and she was so kind about it 𼚠And she was probably the first person engaging with me here and Iâm so fucking grateful that she did. Milla, if I have people reading me itâs because you reblogged me and gave me a chance in the first place, I will never forget this.
⢠Table for Three - Who's your daddy - @aurorawritestoescape Joel Miller x f!reader x Dave York
I read those in my early days here and wow Kate definitely sets a bar in terms of hotness for me. So good. And sheâs another person that I cherish so much, thanks for being so supportive and encouraging.
⢠Keep on your mean side - @aurorawritestoescape and @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader
These two are dead dove queens and this one is simply amazing 10/10 no notes.
⢠Cherry, Cherry - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
You have to know something about Adriana, sheâs one of the nicest people Iâve ever met, just a beautiful soul. Iâm still in awe of how she managed to write this series with so many characters and such a rich plot, itâs so sweet and comforting but also angsty and so good, I teared up a little bit at the end đĽ˛
⢠Daddy can fix it - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
Handyman Joel lives in my mind rent free and the fact that this one feature a plus size!reader is the cherry on top âĽď¸ All bodies are beautiful and should be considered worthy of Joelâs love.
⢠Like a good girl should - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader
WELL. I mean. This one gave me an inexhaustible desire to be spanked sooo yeah. So hot.
⢠Flesh for fantasy - @syd-djarin Joel Miller x f!reader
I thought about that for days after reading it and itâs still one of my fav things ever, like my brain just exploded, I remember having a conversation with @almostempty about this. The fuck Syd, you just broke my mind.
⢠Pink - @netherfeildren
Joel Miller x f!reader
One of the first thing ever that I read in this fandom and honestly sets a bar so high I was afraid to start writing anything. The urge, the need that drips from every word, the way the shaving scene is still stuck in my brain. Wow. Just wow.
⢠Touch Tank - @thundermartini
Javier PeĂąa x f!reader
So beautifully written and soft!Javi made my heart melt âĽď¸
⢠Spiaggia, amore e limone - @thundermartini
Javier PeĂąa x f!reader
It sets in Italy, of course I am the biggest fan of this. And not only that, Javi is so cute, smut is so hot, everything in this fic feels like a warm hug.
⢠TrÄs series - @whocaresstillthelouvre
Marcus Acacius x f!reader x Lucius Verus
This is the first time I've ever popped into an author's notes and I'm so fucking proud 𤣠Thank you Mallory, you made my day, my week and my whole month đĽš
Plus, this is so good, think about your fav indulging dessert⌠itâs this series.
⢠Fifteen - @whocaresstillthelouvre
Din Djarin x f!reader
So comforting and endearing, I love it so much. Like, she made me read Din. I rarely read Din, enough said.
⢠Do I move you? - @lemon-nomel
Joel Miller x f!reader
Iâm so damn proud of her for finding the courage to finally publish this and Iâm also honored that she sent me her draft to read 𼚠Sheâs the sweetest person ever and stood by my side all these months through hard and happy times. Thank you love, for everything and your writing is amazingâĽď¸
⢠maâam - @mssalo
Joel Miller x f!reader
Another sub!Joel I wonât forget anytime soon, wow, so damn beautiful, so hot, perfectly executed. Iâm so weak for sub!Joel itâs honestly ridiculous.
⢠So Cal to North Cal - @lotusbxtch
Frankie Morales x f!reader x Joel Miller
It features two of my fav Pedro boys and itâs honestly so good. Would love to take a trip with them and not only that.
⢠Guilty pleasure - @for-a-longlongtime
Joel Miller x f!reader
Typical DBF!Joel? No, itâs not! And I loved that, no spoiler but my jaw literally dropped to the floor lol
⢠To Dig a Grave - @softpascalito
Joel Miller x f!reader
I love this series so much, angsty and sad but also comforting in so many ways.
⢠Wherever you stray, Iâll follow - @cavillscurls
Joel Miller x f!reader
I think this was my first omegaverse fic and it was incredible, so beautifully written.
⢠Big fat tally - @toxicanonymity
Joel Miller x f!reader
I will probably never forget Joel in a harness, itâs carved in my brain, thanks Toxi for providing this delicious image to me.
⢠In the woods - @tonysopranosrobe
Frankie Morales x f!reader x Santiago Garcia x Benny Miller
First sex pollen fic I read and I loved it so much. So desperate, so good.
⢠How do you sleep? - @thriftedtchotchkes
Joel Miller x f!reader
Honestly so good. Wow.
⢠each man madâs desire - @pascalispretty
Marcus Acacius x f!reader
This is so beautiful, itâs like a poem, I still have no words.
⢠The Real Deal - @strang3lov3
Frankie Morales x f!reader
Oh this one was so damn good, please, this Frankie is perfect. I still yearn to have him.
⢠Bedridden - @strang3lov3
Joel Miller x f!reader
Iâm still laughing, itâs so damn good, well written, funny, sick Joel is unbearable but still the hottest ever.
⢠Doctorâs pet - @evolnoomym
Dave York x f!reader
Oh this one. I mean Iâm a secretary in a clinic, itâs clear I need to work for Doctor Dave.
⢠Ptolemaea - @lovely-vamp-princess
Joel Miller x f!reader
She just started this and it already feels so original to me, like something I never read before and Iâm so curious to see how it unfolds.
⢠Smooth operator - @penascigarette
Joel Miller x f!reader
Joel calls a sex line and OMG. Theyâre softer than I thought, so good and funny. Lovely, just lovely.
Happy reading âĽď¸
#v recs#pedro pascal#joel miller#frankie morales#lucien flores#lucien de leon#javier peĂąa#marcus acacius#lucius verus#dave york#pedro pascal characters fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#ppcu#ppcu fics#ppcu fandom#fic recs#writers on tumblr
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i just kind of hate how every time someone is writing a female character, there is far more scrutiny on whether she is âgoodâ representation. like no one ever writes a male character and is like âhmm⌠is this good representation for men?â because theyâre ALLOWED to be written as smart or stupid, or serious or funny, or sensitive or mean, or loud or quiet, or competent or irrational, or jovial or angry, or wise or inexperienced, or pathetic or badass, or good or evil, or complex or one-dimensional. and they will ALWAYS be loved in some shape or form.
but the MOMENT a woman is any one of those things (even tho women irl can ALL have these traits), there are video essays and entire blogs and articles dedicated to Why Thatâs Not A Good Woman. and like YES, good female representation is important. i acknowledge and agree with that to hell and back. but god damn let these writers breathe. no one is ever going to want to write women again if we shove these impossible standards down their throats.
#me when the fuckingn. media illiterates get their hands on my favorite female characters#like what if i killed you!!!#this is an entire rant on One aspect of fandom misogynyâŚâŚ.. what if i kept it goingâŚ..#and donât even get me STARTED on fandom racism. but iâm scared to talk about that one with tumblr. the piss poor reading comprehension site#oh MAN but do i want to rant about it#erros doesnt know how to shut up
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looking through your eyes + nine
authors note: i know i've said this before, but this one might be my favorite. there are a few subtle hints spread throughout as well.....
i also listened to the song i named the story after while writing most of this chapter, so maybe recommended listening?
if any cw/twâs are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!
cw/tw:Â fluff, angst, language, inebriation, character being triggered, references to past csa, and suggestive themes
song inspo: âlooking through your eyesâ by leann rimes
masterlist
words: 12k (i can't be stopped, clearly)
And I see a girl Who is learning to trust
---Leann Rimes
In many ways, Roman is a simple man. The kind that believes obvious gestures, actions, or even lack of inaction should speak for itself. That there are some things that are just so clear as day, it doesnât make sense for him to have to explain himself.Â
For him to have to repeat himself.Â
Well, thatâs gone out the window as of recent months, because heâs constantly found himself having to do just that. And his day is starting off no different with a surprising and unwanted guest showing up at his office demanding to speak to him.
Bayley stands across his desk with her arms crossed and an almost glare on her face. âIâve been texting you.â
The fact that she even has his number is an issue in and of itself, but heâll tackle that another day. âIâm aware.â
The avoiding of said texts is that obvious thing that she seemingly doesnât understand the why behind.Â
Bayley nods, very visibly keeping in a comment sheâs at least smart enough to not make to the head of the Bloodline. Friend of his wife, or not. âWell, I would like to talk to you.â
Roman rolls his eyes, moving up from his desk to his filing cabinet to swap out expense reports he was trying to review before her rude, unwanted interruption. âI bet you would.â
âSeriously?â Ignoring her once again is the plan, Roman hoping thatâs all it takes so that he doesnât have to lose his temper before he even has his first meeting of the day. âItâs about Solana.â
And that is what finally catches Romanâs attention. Heâs quick to turn around, expression suddenly hardened. âTalk.â She has his full attention. âNow.âÂ
Bayley takes note of how easily it is to gather Romanâs attention with the simple mention of Solana. Itâs surprising to say the least and telling as hell to say the most, but she keeps this little observation to herself.Â
âWeâre having a Cinco De Mayo celebration at my familyâs restaurant tomorrow night.â
âWhat does that have to do with Solana?â
Roman watches her hesitate for a second. âI want to invite her.â
For a split second, Bayley thinks she may have hit a stroke of luck when Roman doesnât immediately shoot down her request. He seems to actually be thinking about it. And then he asks the question she knew would be the nail in the coffin. âWill Escobar be there?â
Sheâd like to just say no, as itâs highly unlikely he will attend, Bayley unsure if her cousin is even in the country. But, lying to the man before her has never turned out well for anyone, so she answers as honestly as she can. âI donât know. You know he pops up at random timesââ
Roman doesnât even need to hear the rest. âMy answer is no.â
She canât be too surprised. Bayley wisely anticipated getting Roman to budge would be damn near impossible, if not entirely impossible.
âRomanââ
âWhy the fuck would I allow her to be anywhere around that son of a bitch?â
To be fair, Romanâs relationship with Santos Escobar is tamer than most. Theyâre not allies, certainly not friends, and he doesnât hate the man. It irritates him a bit how Escobar is a stubborn bastard and refuses to pledge loyalty and allegiance to the Bloodline, but that anger is eased by the fact that Escobar gives an even bigger middle finger to the Nightmare Factory.
His loyalty is to himself and the Legado Del Fantasma. That makes him a wildcard and potentially dangerous.
Roman wonât have Solana anywhere where danger could be present.
âYou know as well as I do that while both you and my cousin have this weird ass QuĂŠ en es mĂĄs macho thing going on, thereâs all but a ceasefire. You've never attacked one of his men the same way heâs never attacked anyone in the Bloodline. Thatâs not going to change overnight just because your wife is present at a chorcha.â
Roman isnât too full of himself to admit when someone has made a valid point, but as this involves Solana, the standards are a bit different. He wonât give Bayley that much. âWhy should I even take the chance? You want to do something with Solana, take her somewhere else thatâs on Bloodline or neutral territory.â
âMy familyâs restaurant is on neutral territory.â Bayley is happy to have another point of his she can counter. âAnd contrary to what the average, ignorant American thinks, Cinco De Mayo is an important part of our culture and our heritage, Solanaâs heritage. I think she would really enjoy herself, that it wouldâŚ.that it would help her feel close to her mom.â
Roman is excellent in the way he remains absolutely unreadable even at Bayleyâs point that has him seriously reconsidering his prior answer.
He has no doubt that would help her feel connected with her mom, being around reminders and in a space thatâs so representative of half of who she is, who her mother was. He canât see her not enjoying herself, which is something that doesnât seem to happen a lot in her life thus far.
Just as he continues to mull over the options, Bayley adds on another defense. âI get where youâre coming from with the safety angle, but Iâll be there and Naomi will be there. Between the two of us, no one will touch her.â
Roman easily reads between the lines and identifies her unspoken request. âYou donât want Solo there.â
On one hand, he can understand it. Bayley not wanting his Enforcer there. Soloâs presence could be seen as him potentially scoping versus the real reason of serving as Solanaâs personal guard.
Bayley doesnât seem to be backing down, reminding with all the confidence in the world of her capabilities. âLike I said, Naomi and I got this.â
Roman will give her that. Bayley and Naomi could fight on his team any day. Theyâre just as brutal as the men, if not more when pushed. He knows theyâd be able to keep Solana safe if need be. Itâs that realization as well as the concern of depriving her of something that could make her happy that brings him to a revised answer.
âFine, she can go.â Roman is quick to add on as an ominous warning, borderline threat, âbut if anything fucking happens to her while sheâs with youââ
âIt wonât,â Bayley vows. âSheâs our friend, and sheâs family to Naomi. We look out for each other.â
Roman believes that. Believes that Bayley has seemingly pledged a loyalty to Solana that matches that of Naomi, and while heâd never fucking tell her this, heâs grateful she has someone like Bayley to talk to.
At his fill of socialization with people he doesnât like, Roman is quick with the dismissal. âIf you donât have anything else to discuss with me about Solana, you can get the hell out of my office.â
Bayley is actually surprised she made it this long without being kicked out, so itâs under her breath she mutters, âa true gentleman.â Sheâs halfway to his door when manners get the best of her. âHey, Roman.â
Heâs back at his desk, gaze as irritated as when she first stepped in. âWhat?â
With a nod of respect and appreciation, she simply says, âthank you.â Whatever his response, or lack thereof, is after that is unknown because Bayley is out the door and on her way to invite Solana to what is sure to be a night of fun.
________
âMan, I tell you every dish Solana makes seems to get better and better.â Jimmy is rubbing his stomach as he places the now cleaned plate on the coffee table. âWhere she been at all our lives?â
Once upon a time, Roman had a nice, quiet house that was his and his alone. Now though, itâs shared with a wife who really isnât an issue, two obnoxious cousins who need to start paying rent at this point, and a dog whoâs currently at the sliding door leading to the backyard having a one-sided bark off with a squirrel.
âWhy are yaâll always fucking over here?â Romanâs question is said with all the irritation manifesting in his muscular body. At the same time, he stands up from the sofa to retrieve the puppy he doesnât feel like yelling at to shut up.Â
She might piss herself in fear or something.
âCome on,â he grunts, leaning over and taking up Dulce who is almost instantly quiet. âMaking all that damn noise for nothing.â
Roman places Dulce in her bed in the living room and returns to his previous seat on the sofa when she hops up and walks her ass right over to lean up on the sofa to stare at him with her unspoken request.
Jimmy is the first to notice this. âI think lil Nacho Libre likes you, Uce.â
Jey chimes in between bites of whatever Solanaâs latest dish is that sheâs made for them. âShe know English yet or Soso still got her only speaking Spanish?â
âMan, the dog canât speak.â
âYou know what I mean, motherfucker. Damn.â
Roman ignores the two imbeciles currently freeloading in his house and relents to just letting Dulce on the sofa. Heâs not sure why sheâs downstairs with them instead off on the second level where the girls are getting ready, but sheâs already here now, so no sense in transporting her.Â
Dulce seems satisfied with her placement right next to him.Â
âI still canât believe we werenât invited.â
âI can get why they didnât invite us, but they could have at least given Nicki an invite.â
Jimmy is quick with the obvious answer. âYou know Nicki donât fuck with Naomi like that, or Bayley, and definitely not Soso.â
âCause sheâs fucking psychotic.â Roman has zero issues with his cousinâs wife having little to no interest in getting to know Solana. Itâs for the better. As he said, the bitch is psychotic.
âOnce again, Big Dog, you ainât gon keep disrespecting my wife like that.â
Roman is as unfazed by Jeyâs threat as Dulce is.Â
âI gotta agree with Uce on that one. Nicki ass crazy as hell. One minute she love you, the next minute she pulling a Left Eye and burning your shit.â That emits a chuckle from him. His cousin's sneaker collection being burned in the backyard that one year was pretty funny.Â
âLook, that was during a rough patch. Thatâs all.â
âDamn bruh, yaâll must got a whole goddamn quilt then, cause your relationship been nothing but rough patches since we was in high school.â
âSo what, you and Naomi never have no issues, huh?â Jey lives up to his hotheaded reputation, jumping into defensive mode. âYaâll just got the perfect marriage, right?â
âOf course we got issues, man, but never to the point where she turned into a lil arsonist!â
Completely disinterested in hearing dumb and dumber argue, Roman grabs his phone and shoots out a text.
Roman: You almost ready?
Solanaâs reply comes in less than five minutes later.
Solana: Just aboutâŚ..is Dulce by you?
Roman: Yeah. SleepingâŚ.as always.
Solana: LolâŚ.sorry about that, I meant to grab her before we got started.
Roman: Itâs fine.
Roman: I need to talk to you before you leave.
Heâs not surprised by the longer time it takes for her to reply. He can imagine sheâs reading too much into his text.
Solana: Okay....I can come now?
Solana: I just have to put my shoes onâŚ.
Roman: Iâll come to you.
Roman knows better than to ask the bumbling idiots to watch Dulce. Their attention span when they get this heated is almost non-existent, so he opts to just take her upstairs with him, figuring he can deposit her in her bed in Solanaâs room and thatâll be it for the night.Â
One down.
Two more to get rid of.
Roman is standing outside of Solanaâs door ready to knock when itâs ripped open, and heâs met with an instantly smiling Naomi.Â
Sheâs smiling at the damn dog, of course.
âThere you are, Dulce.â Roman has no issue whatsoever with letting her take the puppy, talking to it in that weird ass baby voice everyone seems to use around Dulce. He doesnât get it, but itâs not something he desires to try to get anyway. Naomi calls out over her shoulder, âIâm gonna take her out to pee.â
Bayley shouts from inside the room, âIâll come with you.â
Roman also has zero issues with that as well. He wants to be alone with Solana before she heads out.
Naomi is heading to the steps when Bayley walks past him, throwing out a rushed, âtell her she looks nice.â
Thatâs a given, but he gives her a nod, easily stepping in and closing the door behind him. He looks around the room, eyes settling on the connected bathroom where the door is suddenly swung open.
âGuys, are you sure I should wearââ Solana stops when she sees that Bayley and Naomi are no longer present, just him. âOh, sorry, I thoughtânever mind.â
Roman would call her out on her apologies, both in the text and just now, but his attention is on something entirely different.Â
Solana is fucking stunning.
Her dress is orange, thin sleeved and hugs her in a way that makes his jaw clench and dick stiffen. Itâs more low cut in the front than he knows sheâs probably comfortable with, but if anything, it accentuates just how fucking nice her chest is. Thereâs a slight split on the side of said dress that shows off her thighs, thick and soft to the touch, heâd imagine. She also has her hair down, something he hasnât seen in some time, makeup that covers the scar, and lips painted in a teasing red.Â
Roman has to catch himself because for a brief second, heâs tempted to completely change his mind. She looks too good to leave the house, especially without him present because thereâs not a single doubt in his mind that sheâll turn heads.
She always does.Â
Finally, heâs able to get words to leave his mouth that arenât as filthy as the thoughts heâs trying to keep locked in the back of his mind. âJesus, you look amazing.â
Roman has noticed an increasingly difficult time in restraining himself around Solana, not in the sense where heâd completely ignore her trauma and try to touch her in a way that would trigger her. Never that. More so in the way he fantasizes about her in that way, dreams of having her in that way, solely because of his growing physical attraction.
Granted, itâs always been there.Â
Anyone could see her beauty even in how she would dress down and try to hide her figure, but now that Naomi and Bayley have been encouraging her to be less conservative in her appearance, itâs increased that difficulty exponentially.Â
âThank you.â The makeup on Solanaâs cheeks helps to mask her growing blush at Romanâs unabashed compliment. She suddenly looks down, nervously running her hand down the dress. âIs itâŚ.is it too much?âÂ
Not at all. He might not want anyone else looking at her, but Roman could see her dress like this everyday and never grow tired. Still, his approval isnât needed nor should she ever look for it. âDo you think it is?â
âI always think itâs too much.â Itâs an honest answer, one thatâs followed up with a caveat heâs surprised but pleased to hear. âButâŚ.but, I do like it.â
âThen thatâs all that matters.â
Solanaâs smile does something to him. She looks even more beautiful when sheâs smiling. âLookâŚ.â Roman steps closer to her, trying to ignore her perfume, sweet and soft, a dangerous combination that matches her perfectly. âYou need anything tonight, you call or text me, alright?âÂ
She nods and asks. âWhat about Solo? Isnâtâisnât that his job?â
Itâs not a conscious in as much it is a unconscious thing when he steps even closer to her, moving his hand to the small of her back. Roman gently tugs her toward him, and to his surprise, she doesnât tense under his touch. âYouâre my wife, Solana. My job is always to protect you. He just guards you when I canât.â
She looks like sheâs trying to memorize this piece of information, storing it for future use as necessary knowledge. âDoâdo you want to come with us?â Solanaâs hand resting on his chest is as surprising as her question. âI could talk to Bayley.â
Roman has never been a social person. To say he hates most people isnât necessarily an exaggeration. So, the thought of being around a bunch of people he doesnât know or like outside of Solana and maybe Bayleyâsheâs not entirely awfulâis not appealing as well. That doesnât stop him, however, from considering the question at hand.
Heâs tempted to ask her if she wants him to come, because Roman can find it in himself to withstand socialization for a couple hours.Â
Heâll do it for her.Â
But, thereâs another part of him, a larger part of him that thinks she needs to do this on her own. That she needs to establish a life and something for herself that doesnât include him. Itâll be good for her.
âNo.â Is his final answer, delivered much gentler than if she was literally anyone else. Roman reaches and plays with a piece of her hair. âNot my scene. Too many people.â Not to mention that his presence would draw too much attention, potentially not good attention. He wonât do that to her. Wonâtâ risk ruining her night. âGo. Have a good time.â Again, for good measure, he reminds, âbut I mean it. Something is wrong. You call me.â
She nods, and he readies to remind her of his need for words when she answers, âokay.â She then adds on, âI already gave Dulce dinner, so she should mostly sleep, but if you could take her outside every so oftenâŚ.â
âI got it.â Heâd much rather sacrifice the couple minutes it takes to bring her outside than risk her shitting or pissing somewhere in his house. Granted, he has to give credit where credit is due. Sheâs doing great with her potty training. Solana takes great care of her, but thatâs not surprising. Itâs obvious how much she loves the puppy. âYou should be back by midnight, though.â
Itâs more a strong suggestion than a demand. Solana is a grown woman. Heâs not going to dictate what she does and doesnât do. Sheâs had enough of that in her life. He had to give his approval for her to go with Bayley because of safety issues, but this, he wants to leave up to her as long as she understands the later sheâs out, the riskier things can get.
After a certain time, only bad or not so great things can happen.
âOf course.â She seems to understand this clearly, but heâd also bet thatâs her preference to be back earlier than later. Solana grabs her purse and walks towards the door, having to pass him in the process. Roman catches her, arm around her waist.Â
She looks up, curious, and he makes note of how she again doesnât tense under his touch. Thatâs happening less and less, it seems.Â
He likes that.Â
âText me when you get there.â
She smiles, and Roman suddenly feels a layer of his irritation with his cousins melt away. âI will.â Solana gives him one more glance before walking out the room.Â
Roman scratches his beard, a part of him wondering if he made the right decision to let her go alone. Granted, he knows he would have never even initially agreed if he didnât trust Bayley and Naomiâs abilities.Â
Theyâd defend Solana as ruthlessly and violently as any of his best men.
That helps to chip away some of his second guessing along with the fact that this is something she clearly wants, and he wants to give her that. Give her anything he can that makes her happy.Â
She deserves that much. Â
Granted, that temporary peace is short-lived with the shout from one of his cousins who are apparently still present.Â
âAyo, Big Dog, did you change the WiFi password again!â
________
Roman needs a new house.
Maybe have Solana let him know what she likes as far as interior designing goes and have something built with an impenetrable wall around it.
That seems to be the only thing that will keep his annoying ass twin cousins from being at his place so much.
Roman just knew that when the ladies left, theyâd leave too. But no, thatâs too good to be true, because theyâve been gone almost an hour, and their asses are still here.
Even Dulce is sleeping peacefully like the unemployed bum that she is in her bed kept in the living room.Â
And as always with them, theyâve been talking damn near the whole hour. One would think Roman straight up ignoring them as he works on his laptop would be a clear sign they need to go the hell home, but that would be too much like right.
He either needs an Excedrin or for his cousins to leave, the latter being preferred most. Itâs especially needed when they seem to be watching whatever dumb ass Tok or Reel video over and over again.Â
âWait. I know that song,â Jey announces, face scrunched up as he tries to recall the name. All Roman knows is that itâs in Spanish and repetitive as hell on top of being played on repeat. Annoying as hell too. âThat lil freak from Miami I used to mess with used to have this shit playing at her crib all the time.â
Jimmy sucks his teeth, asking. âWhat happened to her?â
âMan, she moved.â Jey shrugs. âShe went to go be a freak in Cali.âÂ
Finally, Roman snaps. âWould yaâll use some damn headphones or something?â
Jimmy is the first to speak. âYou might want to watch this, Uce.â
âI donât care.â
Jey slaps Jimmy on the arm, knowing how to get his cousinâs attention. âYeah, why would he want to see a video of Solana?â
At that, Roman lifts his gaze.
Jimmy smirks knowingly. âNaomi sent some videos. Check your phone.â
That would explain it. Why Roman was out of the loop. It wasnât from Solana.Â
Heâd selected a specific text and ringtone notification for her, so he wouldnât be unnecessarily checking his phone. Hence why he hasnât checked it since she text that theyâd made it to the restaurant.
Opening up the thread that has himself, Naomi, and the twins, he sees the set of messages and videos.
Naomi: Having a blast! Solana especially. I kinda feel like the odd one out cause clearly I donât know none of these dances đŠ I kinda got the Bachata one, but Merengue and Punta are killing me.
Naomi: Bay and Solana keep trying to teach me, but itâs not going well lmao
Roman watches them all. Every video shows Solana smiling and laughing as she dances with Bayley and Naomi. One of the videos shows her and Bayley trying to instruct Naomi who seems to be failing miserably at learning what heâd guess are traditional Hispanic dances. Thereâs even a clip of her trying to help a little girl learn whatever dance theyâre doing, and she looks just as patient as heâs seen her with the kids she reads to at the library.
She looks fucking gorgeous and happy.
He likes that for her. After everything sheâs been through, she deserves all of the happiness.
But, itâs in watching the last video with the song that he kept hearing on loop from his cousinâs phone that he understands why they have it on repeat.
Itâs a different kind of dance Bayley and Solana do together along with other women he doesnât know or give two fucks about. What he gives a fuck about and focuses in entirely on is the way Solanaâs hips and ass move, rhythmically, teasingly, drawing out an uncomfortable tightening in his pants.
Fuck.Â
Roman does his best to push his erotic thoughts away, still trying to figure out how to balance his sexual desire for Solana with the knowledge of her sexual trauma. It almost feels wrong, to feel and want her in that way when he knows how traumatizing that subject is for her. It doesnât stop the desire though.
âDamn, I knew it had to move, just not like that.âÂ
âLike water.â
Itâs probably a combination of his pent up usual, general and sexual frustration, but the dangerously slow way Roman lifts his head and equally slow way he sets his murderous gaze on his cousins is all they need to see to know theyâve gone too far.
And they know it.
Jimmy is instantly on damage control. âI meantâBayleyâyou know, cause sheâsheâs also thick.â
Jey coughs awkwardly, hitting Jimmy on the arm. âI think, uh, we shouldâwe should head out.â And Roman is just as slowly rising from the sofa when the twins literally almost trip over their feet and make a mad dash for the door.Â
It takes a couple minutes for him to calm down, and he too suddenly finds himself watching said video, casually commenting to Dulce, âabout time they fucking left.â
Dulce barks in agreement.Â
________
Solana laughs along with Bayley and Naomi as they plop down in their seats after an almost four minute song of full out merengue. All are reaching for their respective drinks as Bayley playfully nudges Solana.Â
âArenât you glad you came?â
Just then, Juanita Escobar walks over, Bayleyâs mother who carries the same dimple and friendly disposition. She places her hand on Solanaâs back, reminding in Spanish, âyou must come back and see us again!â
Solana smiles, agreeing, âI will.â She then looks over at Bayley. âIf thatâs okay?â
Bayley waves her off. âAre you kidding? With how soft and girly you are, you can come be my replacement any timeâÂ
Juanita glares at her youngest, muttering to Solana, âmaybe you can rub off on my Bay, hmm? Never wanted to do girl stuff. Always wanted to fight with the boys.â
Bayley chugs back some of her drink. âHell yeah.â
Solana thinks sheâd prefer the fighting too. Maybe then she could have defended herself better. Defended her mom even.
Juanita shakes her head, looking at Solana. âYes, come again, child. You look so much like someone, but I canât put my hand on it. Iâm sure my husband would know. He knows everyone.â
That doesn't necessarily make Solana want to come back, meeting someone, a man specifically. However, if heâs anything like Bayley or Juanita, maybeâŚmaybe it wonât be so bad.
And maybeâŚmaybe she could ask Roman to come with her. Thatâd make her feel moderately to significantly better. Safer, even.
Juanita is soon pulled away from the table by a customer at the same moment Solanaâs phone rings.
Roman: You good?
Solana: Yes.Â
She bites down on her lip, contemplating if she should hit send on her message. It feels like a risky thing to say, but itâs also how she feels.
And heâs always telling her to be honest with him.
So she is.Â
Solana: Kinda wish you would have came.
Her fingers nervously tap against the table as she wait for his reply that ends up coming almost immediately.Â
Roman: Thatâs your world. Not mine.
Roman: Do you not feel safe?
Solana: No, not that. I guessâŚ...Nvm.
Roman: Tell me.
Again, more hesitation, and sheâs not entirely sure where this desire to be honest and almost vulnerable with him comes from, but she does her best not to push it away, almost welcoming the slight discomfort that comes with sending such a risky text.
Solana: Idk, I feel better when youâre around.Â
He doesnât reply after that.
Bayley and Naomi share a knowing expression, having watched Solana quietly for the past few minutes. Naomi ends up being the one to lead the conversation. âSo how are things going with Roman?â
The question takes her off guard, Solana trying her best to think just how to handle said question.
Roman no longer confuses her. Not nearly as much as her feelings about him confuse her.Â
She wasnât lying. She does feel better when sheâs around him. And itâs not even that she feels unsafe currently. Itâs just that he makes her feel safe in general. Thatâs such a foreign concept. One she hasnât experienced in such a long time.Â
If ever.
Because the truth of the matter is that while Solana felt an indescribable amount of happiness with her mother, there was never really safety. Not with her fatherâs wrath always waiting around the corner.
So while this is new and unfamiliar, itâs also nice, and she finds herself enjoying his presence. She likes being around him beyond the safety aspect. The way he talks to and with her, like he genuinely enjoys their conversations. When he meets her for work and asks how her day was or finds her in the house to see how her day was, it makes her feel like he actually cares about what she has to say.
Like he actually cares about her.
Itâs such a stark contrast of how she sees him interact with others. Always on edge, it seems.Â
Heâs never made her feel that way though. Maybe at the beginning, but thatâs starting to feel less like anything heâs done and more like her own trauma.
TraumaâŚ.
Thatâs also been an interesting experience. For the past few weeks, sheâs worked out of The Courage to Heal, reading every page as instructed. And itâs beenâŚ.an emotional time, to say the least. Definitely tears. A lot of them. Mostly shed in the middle of the night when she canât sleep or on the bathroom floor as she sits against the tub, reading and writing, Dulce right beside her, offering that unspoken emotional support.
Itâs been therapeutic and challenging and awful having to confront her demons but also freeing in a strange sort of way. Especially the poems. The words of other victims who express so eloquently and hauntingly beautifully what she still cannot.Â
One of the things sheâs really latched onto and tries to remind herself of is that there are different kinds of touch. Because of the assault, her brain has naturally associated any kind of touch as dangerous, which isnât always true. Especially in the past few months.Â
So, thereâs been a conscious and active effort to remind herself when Naomi and Bayley hug her or playfully bump her, that itâs safe. That sheâs safe.
EspeciallyâŚ.especially with Roman.
Especially with how touch between them has seemed to also increase over the past couple weeks. Or maybe less increase in levels and more in frequency. Sheâll find his hand on the small of her back, or him taking her hand in his, and sometimes, if theyâre close enough, Solana also finds herself reaching for him, for his hand, her hand on his chest.
Itâs all so innocent in presentation but something much deeper for her. A level of comfort sheâs developed with him that she never had in any prior relationship.Â
She likes it.
She likes him.
âSolana.âÂ
Jumping at being pulled from her inner dialogue, Solana remembers the initial question being posed.Â
She clears her throat, finally answering, âummâŚ.good. Itâsâitâs good.â
âHeâs not being an ass to you, is he?â She asks, almost protectively. âI mean outside of the natural ass that he always is.â
Immediately, Solana is shaking her head, almost feeling a duty to defend him. âNo. No. Heâhe would never. HeâsâŚ.always nice to me.â
Bayley nearly spits out her drink. âNice?â She coughs a bit, also shaking her head. âAre we still talking about Roman here? Roman Reigns? That man has never been nice a day in his life.â
Naomi shrugs. âI mean, she has a point. I donât think Iâve seen him be cruel to her.â
CruelâŚ.Solana also could never find it in her to use that word to describe Romanâs disposition towards her. Maybe others, but never her.
Bayley sits on Naomiâs point, suddenly sharing to the table, âyou know what, now that you mention it, when I went to go ask him if I could invite you tonight, he was ready to bite my head off for bothering him. But, the minute I said it had something to do with you, he was all ears. Like an instant switch.â
Solana is also all ears, slightly intrigued. âReally?â Doubt and insecurity creeps in as she weakly suggests, âhe was probably like that with Samantha too.â
At that, Bayley and Naomi laugh aloud, Naomi nearly in tears.
âNow that is funny. Solana, Roman donât give a fuck about that girl. Not outside of sex.â
Solana must look unconvinced, so Bayley points out, âthink about it. Sheâs been around for years, and itâs not her he took down the aisle, soâŚ..â She then adds, âarranged marriage or not.â
The girls bringing up their points takes Solana back to her run-in with Samantha in the bathroom and Niaâs jaw-dropping information.Â
An idea appears, and Solana is instantly torn on whether to pursue or pop it. Something tells her itâs a bad idea, that she should take his information to the grave, but thereâs also that side that feels like she can trust Bayley and Naomi to keep it between the three of them.
Sitting forward, Solana decides to take a risk. âCan Iâcan I tell you guys something?â Nervously, she stipulates, âbut it has to stay between us.â
They look expectedly worried. âSolana, if it has something to do with your safetyââ
âNo, no that.â Solana almost feels confident enough to say that sheâd go to Roman if that was the case. She trusts that she could talk to him if it was something like that.
âOf course, then.â
âSolana, you can tell us anything.â
And for some reason, she knows this to be true. Itâs why she battles against her trepidation to open up. âItâsâummm. IâŚ.I found out that whenâŚ.when Roman wasâŚ..having sex with Samantha, heâŚ.â Thereâs a pause caused by the discomfort of such a discussion, but Solana manages to push through. âHe said my name.â
Both Bayley and Naomi wear shocked expressions, the former of the two whispering harshly, âholy shit, what?â
Bayley then asks, âwait, how do you know?â
âNia told me.â Solana has zero desire to wholly revisit that night in the bathroom with Samantha, so she only provides the important part. âShe said that Samantha told her friend, I guess. T something?â
âTiffy.â Bayley rolls her eyes. âMakes sense. That girl canât hold water.â
âI donât get it then. He obviously was imagining it was you and not Samantha, so why go fuck her and not you?â
Naomiâs question makes all the sense, but Solana doesnât really know how to tackle it. This conversation is already difficult enough for her.Â
But her face must give it away, Bayley seemingly putting two and two together.
âYou two havenât slept togetherâŚ..have you?â Solana simply shakes her head, unable to verbally confirm and slightly mortified that itâs reached this level of detail.Â
Solana is certain they must have a million thoughts floating around their head, starting with the how and why. That partâŚ..that part she doesnât know if she is ready to discuss.
An ironic thing considering sheâs just started the chapter in her workbook on sharing her story with trusted people.Â
The irony.
But instead of invasive questions that heighten her anxiety, Naomi places a comforting hand on her arm.Â
âLook, Iâve known Roman my whole life, and the guy has been a dick the entire time. He would never hurt a woman, I know that, but heâs also never given a fuck about any of them either. So for him to be the way he is with you when you two havenât even had sexâŚâŚthereâs something there, Solana.â
âI agree,â Bayley cosigns, saying what Solana has struggled to admit even to herself. âI think he really does like you. In his own Roman sort of way.â
Solana canât deny the fact that itâs getting increasingly difficult to push away that possibility, even if she still canât understand the why.
Just what has she done to deserve him liking her?Â
Maybe itâs not like. Maybe he just tolerates her better than he does others for some reason. Whatever it is, she canât negate the fact that it must mean something if Naomi, whoâs known him her whole life, believes that something is there.
âIâm gonna go to the bathroom.â Solana just needs to get away. Just for a couple minutes. This conversation took a turn she wasnât expecting, and she needs to settle her emotions.Â
Bayley seems cautious. âWant me to come with you?â
âNo.â The rejection is paired with a kind smile. âIâll just be a few minutes.â
And before she can get any pushback, Solana makes her way through the dancing crowd and to the back restroom that sheâs grateful to see is vacant. Closing and locking the bathroom door, she goes straight for the mirror.
Despite the unexpected amount of dancing and slight sweat, she still looks relatively the same.Â
The sameâŚ.
Same.
Even with the makeup and tight little dress, sheâs still the same person. Sheâll go home tonight, take off the makeup and remove the dress to find the same damaged, scarred girl who can never have something like what Jimmy and Naomi have.
Even if Roman does like her, it wonât last.Â
She canât please him.Â
She could never make Roman happy, could never truly satisfy him, satisfy his needs.
Sheâs too broken for that.
It brings tears to her eyes.
Unable to withstand the sight of herself, Solana grabs a couple napkins to blow away her tears, tosses them out and heads out the bathroom. Instead of heading back to the table, Solana makes a beeline for the bar.Â
Sheâs only had white wine, but white wine isnât enough. She recognizes where her emotions are taking her, and itâs nowhere good.Â
Solana refuses to ruin this night for Bayley and Naomi.
The bartender is a young girl, pretty, early to mid twenties. She asks in a friendly, deeply accented voice, âwhat can I get you?âÂ
Solana is naive to this, to the great array of alcoholic options that litter the counter before her, so she answers the best way she can. Thinking back to the few events sheâd be forced to attend with her father and brother, the drinks she always heard people order before getting drunk.
âVodka and Gin, pâplease.â
________
Meanwhile, Bayley and Naomi sit at the table still partially stuck on this unexpected news. But also not entirely surprising. With how sittish Solana can be at times, they have a good, albeit depressing guess as to why sex hasnât happened between them.
It does bring up a valid question though.
âWasnât the whole marriage for the purposes of giving Roman an heir? How is thatââ
âYour guess is as good as mine,â Naomi murmurs. âBut, I think we both know itâs obvious Solana has some trauma. Touch is clearly hard for her.â
âI know.â Bayley frowns. âI guess Iâm just surprised Roman of all people has been soâŚ.patient with her.â
âYou and me too.â Naomi blows out a breath before again reiterating what she said to Solana. âHe must really like her.â
âItâs just hard to tell with him. Heâs so damn stoic, butâŚ.I think youâre right. I think she likes him too. Sheâs justâŚ..scared.â Fear is also something Solana deeply struggles with, though Bayley and Naomi both can recognize the progress sheâs making towards overcoming those fears.
With a gasp, Naomi grabs her phone, directing Bayley. âGet your phone.âÂ
Bay is confused but follows suit just as Naomi says, âI know who may know.âÂ
Less than a minute later, Bayleyâs phone dings with a text notification from a new group sheâs in that includes herself, Naomi, Jimmy, and Jey.
Naomi: Sooooo, Bay and I were just talking, and between the four of us, how do you think Roman feels about Solana?
Bayley: And please be honest.
Bayley quickly ensures. âWeâre not going to tell them what Solana said, right?â
âHell no. We could never betray her trust like that.â Bayley is relieved but also not surprised.Â
Naomi values loyalty just as much as she does.Â
Jey: Man, I think he really like oleâ girl. Bruh got her a dog, seems to drop whatever he doing when she needs something, and I donât think I ever heard him say nothing bad about her.
Jimmy: He was definitely annoyed at first when Soso had her lil breakdown at the Warehouse, but that didnât last long at all.Â
Bayley: Plus Roman is always annoyed with something or someone.
Naomi: Except her đ
Jey: Why yaâll ask?
Naomi: We think Solana really likes him too but is scared to push on it because of her past and just donât want to encourage her to give it a chance if heâs just gonna hurt her. Yaâll know how Roman is.
Bayley: A certified ASSHOLE. And a hoe.Â
Bayley: But, it seems like thatâs not the case with her.
Jimmy: I would say he definitely likes her too.Â
Jey: I mean they are married soâŚ.
Naomi: It was arranged. That doesnât count.Â
Bayley: Do we know if heâs still fucking around? Primarily with Samantha since sheâs been his go-to the past couple years?
Jimmy: I donât think so. Matter of fact, I guess she said some smart shit to Soso in the bathroom on NoC and Big Dog wasnât having it.
Jey: Heâs apparently planning to pay her a lil visitâŚ.with Nia.
Naomi: Oh my god, is he finally gonna let Nia kill her?
Jimmy: Naw, just fuck her up real good, I think.
Naomi: Damn.
Bayley: Thatâs wild for him to cut her off like that after all this time. Def sounds like he likes Solana to me tooâŚ..
Jey: Yaâll really think he about to admit that shit though?
Naomi: No more than she is. Heâs stubborn, and sheâs so insecure.
Jimmy: Yaâll thinking what Iâm thinking? đ
*Jimmy changed the group chat name to Operation RoSo*
Naomi: Bae, what is this damn title?
Jimmy: Itâs our latest covert operation. We gotta get Roman and Soso to admit they like each other!
Jey: And just how the hell is we supposed to do that? Like Bay said, Uce is an ass sometimes.
Bayley: All the time unless youâre SolanaâŚ.
Naomi: I mean, not to be vain, but if you look like Roman, you can kinda get away with being an ass. To some extent.
Bayley: Youâre not wrong. He is gorgeous. đŽâđ¨
Jimmy: He alright, I guess. His ears kinda big.
Naomi: Bae, I love you, but letâs not lie. Your cousin is an asshole, yes, but heâs also fine as hell.
Bayley: Thatâs not the only thing said to be bigâŚ..
Naomi: GirlâŚ.
Bayley: They canât all be lying.
Jey: ANYWAYS!
Jey: What if theyâre coming together at they own pace and we should just leave shit alone?Â
Jimmy: đ
Jimmy: Thatâs about the dumbest fucking thing I done heard all day. What next you gon say, huh? That they just magically gon fall in love on their own too? No! They clearly need our help!
Naomi: Maybe less help and more a shove in the right direction?
Bayley: A gentle push!
Naomi: Yes!
Jey: All I know is if shit backfires, Iâm not taking the heat for none of yaâll asses. Yaâll gon have to deal with Big Dog.
Jimmy: Then weâll just put Solana in front of us. He canât hurt us then!
Jimmy: SeeâŚ..Iâm smart with this shit. Thatâs why Imma be the brains of this operation.
________
âWhat do you mean sheâs drunk?â
Romanâs night suddenly went from uneventful and quiet, his preference, to unexpected and infuriating, all with a walk from upstairs to downstairs where he finds Solana awkwardly standing in the living room. Bayley and Naomi wait at the bottom of the steps with nervous expressions.
Good.
They should be scared shitless, because one glance at Solana, the gloss over her eyes, and he can tell sheâs all but wasted.Â
âYou were supposed to be watching her.â Roman is fucking irritated. He knew it was a bad idea to leave these two in charge of Solana.
Bayley, however, seems unbothered by his anger. âSheâs not a child, Roman. Were we supposed to stop her from drinking too? We had no idea she asked for something stronger.â
Itâs an excuse, and Roman doesnât do excuses. âWhat happened?â
Naomi answers this time around. âWe donât know.â
âYou donât know?â One. Theyâre lying, and Roman hates liars. Two. Theyâre lying, and Roman has literally killed people for less. Three. Theyâre lying, and he wants to know why. âYouâve both got less than a minute to give me the truthââ
âLook, we talked about some things, and we promised to keep it between the three of us, so Iâm not telling you what exactly it was, but I can tell you sheâs not in danger.â Bayley is smart. She must know that heâd literally torture the information out of her if it had anything to do with Solanaâs safety.Â
âIt was justâŚsome stuff about her past. I think it may have been too much, and she decided to get drunk to not think about it.â Naomiâs suggestion makes sense and pans out, but Roman canât stop thinking about just what she shared with them.Â
Was it the rape? But why? He remembers her terror in the locker room that day, the fear and pain in her eyes and voice as she pleaded with him to not make her talk about it. It doesnât make sense why she would suddenly share it.
Even with how close she seems to them.
âJust leave.â
Roman will deal with them later. Right now, his priority is getting Solana settled.
They seem to know better than to push his patience, asking that he at least keep them updated on how sheâs doing in the morning.
He neither agrees or disagrees. Itâll heavily depend on how fucked up Solana is.Â
Once theyâre gone, Roman walks into the living room to find her laid on the sofa, eyes glazed over from her drunkenness but that same beautiful smile on her just as beautiful face.
âSolana.â Sheâs so gone that it makes him wonder even more again just how upset she must have been. âI need to get you to bed.â
He needs sleep too, feeling the length and weight of the day starting to take a toll.
Sheâs protesting almost right away. âIâm not tâtired.â
âMaybe not, but you will be tomorrow.â Roman knows sheâs in for one hell of a hangover.
âI donâtâI donât want to sleep.â Sheâs almost pouting, brows caved together as she stumbles through more words. Solana suddenly stands up, and he naturally moves closer to her, noticing the almost sway she does onto the floor. âI justâhave bad dreams andâand youâre justâjust gonna leave once I sleep anywâway.â
âWhat do you mean by that?â He asks. Getting answers from a drunk person usually isnât the best or smartest thing in the world, but something tells Roman that Solana is the type of drunk person who ends up spilling secrets. And heâs certain thereâs a lot sheâs probably still keeping in.
She then issues an unexpected accusation. âYouâyouâreâyouâre gonna go be with Samanthaâthatâs who you want.â
Roman finds her question slightly ironic considering heâs been letting Samantha think she got away with whatever disrespectful shit she said to Solana on the Night of Champions. Heâs letting her think sheâs safe and waiting for the right moment to set her ass straight, Nia tagging along to deliver the physical message he canât.
âAfâafter all.â Solana continues, surprising him with her openness thatâs most definitely fueled by her inebriation. âWhyâwhy would you want me?â She points to herself, voice taking on a softer, vulnerable tone. âWhyâwhy would anyone want me?â
Heâs silent for a good minute, sitting on such a heavy question. âIs that really what you think?â Itâs asked in a low voice, and heâs not entirely sure if itâs more him thinking aloud or if he genuinely wants to know if that is how she really views herself.Â
She shakes her head, nodding in a way that further signifies how drunk she is. âItâs like you said, Iâm mentally uâunstable.â
For a second, Romanâs confused, but he quickly thinks back to their wedding night, to his hurtful words to her. Words heâd give anything to take back now.Â
With an almost frown, he acknowledges his fault. âI was wrong to say that to you, Solana. You are not that.â Truthfully, with all sheâs been through, even if she was, he couldnât fault her.
With a family like hers, she never had a fucking chance.
Solana seems almost confused by his apology, taking him back with the next thing that leaves her mouth. âIs itâis it true youâyou said my name when you were with Sâsamantha?â
He definitely wasnât expecting that, has no idea how she even knows that. Is that what Samantha told her in the bathroom? Why would she? It does nothing to make her look good. Regardless, drunk or not, Roman sticks with his word that he wonât lie to her.
âYes.â
Even drunk, he can tell how shocked she is by his admission. Shaking her head, she says either to herself or himâhe canât really tell. âIâI donât get it.â Before he can say anything else, she starts on this train of self-hatred. âSheâs pretty andâandâskinny andâsheâs notâbroken like me.â
That does something to him, Roman moving closer to bring one hand to the small of her back and the other to her face. âYouâre not broken, Solana.â
âYesâyes, I am. You donâtâyou donât know whatâwhat happened to me.â Her bottom lip trembles as she shakes her head, hands on his chest. âI canâtâI canât do whatâwhat she doesâcanâtâgive you tâthat.â
He shifts his hand to the back of her head, forcing her blurry gaze to stay on him. âBabyâŚ.â It tears him the fuck up hearing her acknowledge the lingering trauma heâs certain sheâll always carry to some extent, but even more to hear how lowly she really thinks of herself. âI donâtââ
âI canâtâI canât becauseââ Her voice cracks, her eyes focused everywhere but him as she almost comes to this heartbreaking realization that her drunkenness briefly helped her escape these thoughts that have now returned. ââbâbecause they râraped me, and now I donâtâI donât know howâhow to be with anyone.â She gasps and sniffles, shaking her head. âI shouldâshould have fâfought h-harderââ
âDonât you ever fucking say that, you hear me?â Romanâs voice somehow contains all the conviction yet gentleness he can muster. Hearing her even think that makes him feel something he canât fully describe. Itâs heavy as fuck though. âYou were a child, Solana. It wasnât your fault.â
âYou were a kid.â He has to say it again, because thatâs the hardest part in all of this, knowing how young she was. âYou should have been protected, and you werenât, and Iâm going to make sure every son of a bitch involved in what happened to you pays for that shit. I promise you that. The same way that I promise with my life, Iâll never let anyone ever hurt you again.â
Sheâs clearly taken back by his words, by his vow. âI donâtâI donâtâunderstand wâwhy? Whyâwhy would you do that?â
Roman isnât sure he has an answer for that specifically, but he does have something else he can provide her, a small part of him knowing, hoping maybe, thereâs very little from tonight she remembers come tomorrow morning.Â
âBecause someone needs to protect you.â Roman swallows, adding before he even realizes what heâs saying. âBecause I donât want Samantha.â He brushes his thumb over her cheek, intentionally wiping her tears. âI want you.â
And suddenly, itâs so much easier to say it aloud, to voice to her what he still doesnât entirely understand, why he feels drawn to her in ways he doesnât understand. Thereâs a connection almost, a connection of mutual loss thatâs formed some sort of bridge Roman is unsure just when he started crossingÂ
She looks more stunned at his admission than anything else heâs ever said to her. Still, she seems to try to discredit him. âButâbut sheââ
âSheâs not you.â His voice unintentionally softens. âNo oneâs like you.â
Selfishly, he hopes she doesnât remember much or any of this conversation, less painful for her, more time for him to figure out what it is about this woman that he feels so deeply drawn to.
Again, she tries to downplay her worth. âI canâtâI canâtâgive you what you need.â
And somehow he knows exactly what she means. What sheâs referring to.
âI donât need that from you.â Truth be told, he doesnât want to need anything from her. Needing anything in general has never been his thing. He just knows that, for some reason, he wants her around.
He likes having her around him.Â
Sheâs blinking again and places her hand against her head, sharing, âmy hâhead hurts.â Itâs not an intentional deflection, heâs certain, but itâs appreciated.
This is a much deeper conversation than he anticipated having tonight.
âYou need to get to bed. The sooner you can start sleeping this off, the better.â He eyes her skeptically, asking, âcan you walk?â
He should have already known the answer, because the minute she tries to pull away from him to walk, she sways almost immediately, Roman going right back to holding her. âCome here.â He expects her to tense up as he moves to lift her up bridal style, but she doesnât. She just continues to look confused, clearly overwhelmed with all of her emotions.Â
Roman doesnât say anything as he carries her up the stairs and doesnât think twice about taking her to his room instead of hers.Â
He needs to monitor her tonight, and thatâs easier done with her in his room.
She looks around still confused but doesnât say anything as Roman lowers her down on the edge of his bed. Naturally, heâs on one knee before her.
âIâm gonna take these off.â He refers to her heels which could largely be a contributing factor for her to inability to walk. She nods, and he quickly unstraps and tosses the heels to the side. âDo you want to change?â
She nods and then adds, âI donât haveâmy clothesâŚ.â
Roman is at his dresser, pulling out a shirt that he reaches to her. âYou can wear this for tonight.â
She accepts it from him, turning to walk to the bathroom, Roman relieved to see the removal of her heels helps her to at least make it without falling.
While sheâs changing, he heads back downstairs to get Dulce.
He knows sheâs used to sleeping with Solana and will probably throw a fit or spend the night crying if that doesnât happen, so a small sacrifice is made as he also brings up Dulceâs bed from the living room and places it on the side of his bed.
One night of her sleeping in his room wonât kill him.
Itâs then that Solana walks out the bathroom, changed out of her dress and her face free from the makeup.Â
âI washed my faceâŚ.hope that was oâokay.â
âItâs fine, Solana.â Roman is half expecting to have to instruct her to lay down, but she again stays with the theme of surprises tonight and walks over to the bed, pulling back the covers and climbing in.Â
Heâs again ready to explain that heâll be in the guest room across the hall but will be available if she needs anything. Heâll still be checking in on her occasionally, regardless.
But, before he can explain as such, she asks in the softest, most vulnerable voice, âwill you lay with me?â
Itâs an extremely unexpected question with an easy answer.
Romanâs answer is to move into the bed with her, half expecting her to freak out in one way or another. This close proximity is so unlike her, a complete contrast to what sheâs usually comfortable with.
However, what he doesnât expect is the way Solana moves her body close against his, pressing herself into his side, arm over his stomach and head on his chest.
In a switching of roles, Roman is the one to initially tense. This is more physical contact than theyâve ever had, and thereâs not a doubt in his mind that if not for the alcohol in her system, sheâd have a fucking meltdown touching him this much.
But in her drunken, highly intoxicated state, thatâs not an issue. She wants to be close to him, wants to be pressed up against him.Â
Sheâs looking for comfort.
And truthfully, he wants it too. Roman likes the feel of her next to him, actually uses his other arm to tug her closer, noticing how she adjusts her head on his chest.
Her hand is planted against his chest, and he starts to tell her to rest, to encourage her to sleep this off. But, she once again beats him to it, asking yet another question.Â
âWhyâwhy are you doing this?â
To be fair, Roman only answers her truthfully because heâs betting on her being so close to the edge of sleep that the chances of her remembering this rare shred of vulnerability are slim to none.
âBecauseâbecause I know what itâs like to not have anyone.â Thereâs a sense of hesitation and discomfort as he verbalizes what heâs never once openly discussed with anyone. âBecause I didnât just lose my mom when I was ten. I lost my entire family. My parents. My aunt. My uncle. And all of my siblings. IâI was the only one who made it out alive that night, and I spent years not knowing why, why I was left alone.â
Roman doesnât want sympathy, doesnât want people feeling fucking sorry for him. He never has. But the way Solana lifts her head to look at him is a look of something else, something that likens understanding and compassion.
The latter of which is almost an unfamiliar concept.Â
âI didnâtâIâm sorry.â She lays her head back against his chest, moving even closer. She then murmurs into him, almost reassuringly, âyou donâtâyou donât have to be alone anymore.â
Roman doesn't know what to say to that, so he doesnât.
He says nothing.
________
Waking up in Romanâs bed wearing only his shirt is the last thing Solana expects along with the fact that the minute her eyes open, sheâs hit with instant throbbing of her head.
She winces, confused about so many things as she forces herself to sit up, mind immediately wandering to a single question.
Where is Roman?
Her question is easily answered when she spots the notebook on his nightstand. She reaches for it, squinted eyes reading over his words.
Solana,
Iâm sorry I had to leave. I have a meeting with the Elders I, unfortunately, canât miss. Iâll be back right after.
If not for that, I would have stayed with you.
You most likely wonât remember last night, but you got drunk. Very. Youâre gonna wake up with a nasty hangover. Take the Aspirin. Itâll help.Â
I gave Dulce her breakfast and took her outside. She should be fine.Â
I also let your job know youâre not coming in today.
Rest.
Roman
Thereâs so much to process in such a straightforward letter. What did he mean by stay with her? Didâdid they sleep in the same bed?Â
For some reason, thatâs not as anxiety inducing as she imagined it would be. She doesnât know the why or how, but it doesn't bring that heavy weight on her chest.
The drunk part triggers brief memories of the night prior. Bayley and Naomi. The celebration. Dancing. Fun. Happiness.
A switch.
At some point in the night, her mood shifted into something else. Solana remembers asking for a drink, but she doesnât remember much after that. Glimpses. An almost sympathetic look from Roman. His arms around her. Him holding her.
It makes for a confusing story she doesnât really have the wherewithal to deal with. She instead reaches over and swallows the Aspirin.Â
And she goes right back to sleep.
________
Roman finds himself completely bypassing his office, clearing his schedule, and moving his phoneâs status to Do Not Disturb.
Heâs not in the mood to deal with any of that shit today. At least not for a couple more hours. He needs to make sure Solana is situated first.Â
Thinking about her resurfaces his earlier level of anger at how the meeting with the Elders ended.
âWhat of the girl?â
This was the part of the hour meeting that caught his attention the most. Everything else was trivial and, in his opinion, a waste of time. But, itâs when Elder Aleki brings up Solana that Romanâs focus is recentered.
âWhat about her?â
Heâs not stupid. Far from it. Roman knows exactly where this is headed. It was partially expected. What he didnât expect was the anger thatâs already brewing at just how Solana was referred to as âthe girl.â
Aleki is bold with his questioning, jumping straight to the point. âIs she still not pregnant yet? Itâs been almost four months.â
Romanâs jaw clenches, and he finds himself squeezing the armrest of his chair as he does his best to keep his voice somewhat subdued. âIâm aware of how long itâs been.â
Another elder, Sione, decides to join in on this conversation that Roman is about to shut down in less than a minute. âPerhaps she should have another medical evaluation. By one of our doctorsââ
âThe hell she will.â
Rikishi shoots Roman a warning look, quietly, muttering an equally pleading, âlanguage, Uce.â
Roman straight up ignores him. Rikishi still adheres to those outdated traditions that just because someone has more years on this earth than you that they automatically deserve respect. Fuck that. Roman gives respect when itâs earned, and Aleki and Sione have been on his shit list for years.
Heâll never forgive them for their behavior after the death of his family, their questioning of Romanâs birthright to the throne.
Aleki releases a heavy sigh, and Roman has to restrain himself from not bashing the old manâs head into the table. âAll weâre saying is if she is incapable of producing a child to continue the Bloodline, then we have no use for her and should seek to find you a betterââ
Thatâs when Roman has enough. To suggest Solana be examined again. which would no doubt be triggering as fuck for her, is one thing. But, itâs an entirely different thing for them to have the unmitigated gall to suggest he get rid of her.
Over his dead fucking body.
Roman shoots up from the chair. âMy wife isnât going anywhere nor is anyone at this fucking table going to make her do shit.â
Rikishi shoots more than just his subtle warning this time around. âRoman, pleaseââ
Romanâs not trying to hear that shit from him, though. Heâs not trying to hear shit from anyone.Â
âOur marriage is nobodyâs fucking business but our own. That includes when she gets pregnant. Weâll share it when we want to.â
Truthfully speaking, this isnât something Roman has thought much about, an intentional thing. The fact that the marriage was originally and solely arranged so that she could give him an heir is irrelevant to him right now, regardless of what they think.
Thatâs not a priority.Â
âYou may be the Elders, but I sit at the head of the table.â The Bloodline has always been successful and profitable, but itâs no doubt exceeded any and all records and expectations since Roman became the head. Thatâs an indisputable fact. âDonât fucking forget who made this table what it is today.â
The ending of the meeting is still playing in the back of his head like a bad song on repeat. If not for his semi level of respect and acknowledgement of their standing as Elders, he would have put a bullet in their heads the minute that disrespectful shit started leaving their mouths.
In no fucking universe is anyone taking Solana from him. He doesnât give a flying fuck whatever the original reason was for their marriage. Sheâs his now, and nothing is changing that.Â
Roman makes active efforts to calm himself before walking back into the house. After last night, the last thing she needs is to be unintentionally triggered.Â
He finds her on the sofa, writing in her journal, Dulce right beside her sleeping peacefully without a care in the fucking world. Roman halfway expected her to be out back on the patio, a seemingly favorite spot of hers.
But the sunlight would no doubt exacerbate the remnants of her hangover heâs certain sheâs still battling, so it makes sense sheâs indoors. Itâs when she looks up, noticing his presence that Roman also realizes sheâs still only wearing his shirt.Â
For some strange reason, he likes that. Likes seeing her in his clothes.
âHeyâŚâ
âHey.â Roman sits on the sofa opposite from her. He takes her in, watching her set her journal to the side and as he notices her hair is pulled up. âHow you feeling?â
She shrugs, making a face that suggests some level of discomfort. âMy head still kinda hurts, but I guessâthatâs to be expected.â He starts to ask her if sheâs drunk enough water, recognizing the importance of staying hydrated a night after heavy drinking, but sheâs suddenly pleading with him almost. âPlease donât be upset with Bayley and Naomi. Itâs not their fault.â
To be fair, he hadnât thought about them until now. âThey were supposed to watch you.â
âThey did. IâI got back fine.â She seems almost worried for them, for their safety. He would never actually kill either woman. Heâll just probably never trust them to take Solana out again in life. But no murder would actually happen. Still, itâs the part where Solana says she got back fine that irks him. He does his best to mask that irritation though.Â
âYou werenât fine last night, Solana.â She was far from it, more emotional than heâs seen her in some time, if ever.Â
Her shoulders drop, almost in shame. âI donâtâI donât remember much of it.â
Heâs thankful for that. For the both of them. âYou were upset.â Itâs not a lie nor is it specific. Itâs just the truth.Â
She then asks with almost hesitant curiosity. âWâwhat did I say?â
Roman shakes his head. âIt doesnât matter.â He doesnât like being dismissive towards her, doesnât like being dishonest, something he swore he wouldnât do. But, she was an emotional wreck last night, and the last thing he wants is for her to go through all of those emotions yet again.
He doesnât like seeing her upset.
But then she looks at him, studying him almost, a sad, almost tearful chuckle leaving her mouth. He watches as she brings her legs up to her chest and rests her chin against her knees. She asks, volume barely over a whisper, âI told you last night, didnât I?â Roman realizes itâs less a question and more a heavy realization. âThatâthat I was raped. Didnât I?â
Itâs a bit of a loseâlose situation. Either he tells her no and risks her feeling bad for sharing something she didnât have to or he confirms what she already knows and still feels not great.
Theyâre both shitty options, but he ultimately goes the route of honesty. âYes.â
âItâs weird. Iââ She looks away, eyes shutting for a minute before she unexpectedly explains, âIâve beenâIâve been working out of this book for people who wereâŚassaulted like me, and Iâmâat the part where its recommended I tell at least one person becauseâbecause itâs not healthy to keep it to myself.âÂ
Roman knows exactly what book sheâs talking about. It was the key that led to him figuring out just what happened to her. That still fucks with him. Still makes him fill with silent rage at her piece of shit family letting that happen to her.Â
âYouâre now the first person Iâve ever told.â Roman hates that even more.. Hates that someone like him is who she ended up breaking her silence with. He wishes it was either Bayley or Naomi. Theyâre much better at this sort of thing. The feelings thing. âI donâtâI donât like talking about it.â
âYou donât have to.â He isnât sure heâd be able to control his anger hearing details, hearing anything about it to be honest, not coming from her. His rage would be intractable.Â
She nods, almost appreciatively. âThat's why sex isâitâs hard for me.â He fully understands that, and a small part of him hates how he tried to initiate that with her on their wedding night. He figured her nerves were because of her naturally anxious personality. Never once did it cross his mind that it was because of something much darker. âAnd itâs notâitâs not like I donât think about it sometimes, about being close to someone like that, I do.â This piece does surprise him, but he works hard not to think too much about it right now. He wants to be in this moment with her. â IâI have. But, every time I try, I justâI get flashbacks, and I canât.â She ends on an almost whisper, Romanâs stomach tightening as she quickly wipes at a tear.Â
He doesnât like seeing her cry.Â
âYou donât owe me an explanation, Solana.â Not him or anyone else, for that matter.Â
She doesnât say anything for a good minute before asking, âwhat happens now?â
Thatâs a great fucking question, and he almost has the same towards a lot of things. Heâs curious though what sheâs specifically referring to. âWhat do you mean?â
Solana seems almost frightened as she asks, âare youâare you gonna send me back to my father?âÂ
Yeah, he could have never in a million years guessed that. âWhy would you ever think I would do that?â
And he suddenly hates asking, hates seeing the way the emotion builds back up. âIâm notânot a virgin, andââ Her eyes close, her grip around her legs tightening. âYouâŚ.you only married me becauseââ
âI donât care about that.â This is his second time today having to face some level of this discussion, but this round is significantly gentler. Roman does his best to illustrate the conviction in his voice while also being mindful of her emotions. âWhat do you want, Solana?â
He has no idea what sheâs going to say, but he does know for a fact he would never send her back to that hellhole. It would be like sending her to her own death.Â
She seems to really think about his question, think about something heâs certain sheâs never had a lot of.Â
Options.Â
Finally, after what feels like hours, she answers. âI want to stay here.â Romanâs unsure why he feels a small sense of relief at her answer, like anything other than that would have made him uncomfortable or upset. Solana wets her lips, continuing, âI likeâI like living here.â And in an even smaller voice, she adds, âI like being with you.â
He doesnât say anything, and neither does she. Roman is certain itâs because theyâre both trying to process and register what this may mean, what this new piece of information means for them moving forward.Â
Roman sits forward and motions with his index and middle finger. âCome here.â
He sees it instantly. The initial hesitation, the brief flash of fear, but itâs gone before he can offer reassurance. Solana lowers her legs and walks over to him, Dulce remaining sleeping and unmoving. Not once does Roman remove his gaze from her as he takes her hand, giving a gentle tug to guide her down on the sofa next to him. He slides his arm behind her, holding her body against him, his tattooed forearm across her stomach.
Roman watches the way her eyes close, recognizes that sheâs trying to manage her emotions. He sees the little nod she gives herself, as if assuring herself that sheâs safe. And he swears he sees her mouth as such.
Mouth the word âsafe.â
Solana moves her hands to his forearm, as if holding onto him for some sense of comfort.Â
He does his best to reassure her. âRelaxâŚâAnd it seems to do something to help her, offering such a simple yet strong form of solace. âIâd never send you back there. Ever.â And thatâs a fucking promise. âYouâll stay here. With me.â
âIâmââ Her voice is less emotional than before. Itâs still there, but he can tell it's waning with each second that passes, her comfort level growing. âIâm supposed to give you an heir. What ifâwhat if people startââ
âIâll take care of it.â And he will. He already started with the Elders earlier today, but she doesnât need to know that.Â
She angles her head up to look at him. âButââÂ
Roman brings his hand to her face, gently palming her cheek. âIâll take care of it.â He moves his thumb over the apple of her cheek and part of her scar. âAlright?â
Solana nods with her acknowledgement but says nothing else as she lays back against him. He notices the absence of tension and discomfort. Sheâs fully relaxed against him, and Roman acts more out of instinct than anything as he presses lips against her temple for a brief kiss, still mindful of her comfort level. âIâve got youâŚâ
Everything happening in the past few minutes has been both unexpected and confusing, but thereâs nothing confusing about the way Solana suddenly turns her body into him, laying her head on his chest. He watches her eyes close, signifying another layer of fear being peeled back.Â
He sits there for who knows how long with her, holding her, noticing the slight rise and fall of her body against his, a sign that sheâs fallen asleep. He lets her sleep, lets her rest, lets her stay close to him, under him, with him.
Roman thinks back on his question to her about what she wanted. Heâs not sure what he would have said if she said she wanted to leave, because the truth of the matter is that Romanâs starting to think that he couldnât let her go.
That he canât.
Even if she wanted to leave.Â
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In the latest trope talk you used Odo as part of your examples. I think You've talked about Star Trek: The Next Generation before but not Deep Space Nine and I just had some questions about what you thought about the show.
What did you most/least enjoy about the series?
What did you think of DS9's syndicated episodes compared to contemporary trek's (TNG, VOY) episodic nature?
How do you feel about the Dominion storyline as a whole? Did you feel like it went against Star Trek's utopian future?
Which characters stood out to you the most/had the most engaging development?
What do you think gagh tastes like?
Any other thoughts about the series?
Oh man, DS9.
I have this very consistent pattern of thinking that the star trek I have most recently watched is the best star trek. When I watched TNG it was the best because of its standout episodes that let Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner show off. Then when I watched Voyager it was the best because Janeway was incredible and 7 of 9's arc was a beautiful iteration on the "inhuman character explores humanity" star trek trope. Then when I got to DS9 I was like "Oh, so this is what actually good Star Trek looks like." I do think I'm actually right this time, though.
I think they really took advantage of how different the core premise of the show was from previous Star Treks. Because the setting was very consistent, the episodic variations on the formula weren't dedicated to seeking out Weird New Shit, but to focusing on the characters and their dynamics with one another. Correspondingly I think the best thing in the show is the character writing and how everyone's arcs are built up. This was something I think they were building towards with the previous series; TNG would occasionally have character-focused episodes, but for the most part everybody on the ship operated like a well-oiled machine, inputting the Weird Thing Of The Week and outputting a solution. Voyager destabilized the formula by yeeting the heroes halfway across the galaxy and well outside the safe confines of federation space, so you got a lot more opportunities for drama caused by limited supplies or existential despair, and a lot more character-driven conundrums without clean or flawless solutions. DS9 is kind of the apotheosis of this shift away from "seek out new life and new civilizations, boldly go etc etc" because instead of our heroes briefly interacting with Bajor and then fucking off into the end credits, they're sitting right on top of a planet undergoing tumultuous social restructuring after the end of a long and horrible military occupation, and they're there for 7 seasons. Because they aren't following an adventure-of-the-week formula, absolutely everything they do has consequences they have to deal with later down the line, and that lends itself very well to longform character arcs.
I liked the Dominion storyline well enough, and I think the existence of an evil space empire to fight doesn't preclude the Federation being a utopia. Utopias are internally perfect systems, not worlds that have absolutely no conflict. I think the part of DS9 that does undercut the utopia is the whole thing with Section 31, but I think that's part of a very intentional move on the writers' part to highlight that Section 31 is not as necessary as they think they are, and that doing all this stuff unethically is a moral concession and a shortcut that demeans the principles of the Federation. That's part of why I like that they serve as a nemesis to Doctor Bashir, who has very personal reasons to despise the idea of taking the easy way out.
Character-wise, I have very predictable favs. Jadzia Dax is fascinating to me, and I love the way they play with her past lives and centuries of experience to create this very layered character packed with plothooks. Also I have very simple tastes, and "woman fills narrative Man Role trope and nobody is weird about it" is an itch I so rarely get scratched despite how not complicated it is. Jadzia gets to be a swashbuckling romantic hero with a tragic starcrossed lover; she gets to be a wise yet cheerful mentor to Captain Sisko; she gets to be a noble warrior honoring debts from a lifetime ago. And I adore how her dynamic with Sisko plays out over the seasons - another completely uncomplicated trope I so rarely get to enjoy, male and female leads who are profoundly ride-or-die for one another and have absolutely no interest in making out. I am still so mad about how Jadzia gets iced, but that doesn't mean I don't like Ezri, and there is something very beautiful about how when she gets Dax'd and her existence becomes an absolute mess of confusion and conflicting memories and she doesn't even know who she is anymore, her single point of stability is Sisko.
That said, Garak is probably my overall fav. The man is an absolute drama hound and since he's not technically main cast it's a rare treat to get him focused on. He is so much fun on a rewatch when you can see exactly when and how he's lying and when he's telling the truth in a way that everyone thinks is lying, and what I think is most interesting about him is how absolutely everybody else on the station has him figured out. There's this "I know he knows I know they know" loop underlying almost every interaction. Everyone knows he's a spy, he knows everyone knows, and they're all just vibing anyway. It's like his entire character is built on telling the truth in a way that sounds like a lie, to the point where it always manages to surprise people when he does something absolutely ruthless. He's been saying he's a bad guy the whole time! People seem to keep forgetting!
Also, fun fact, the very first chunk of DS9 I caught was the back half of the episode "The Wire", and when I was mentioning this to my dad, I was like "yeah I don't remember their names but these two guys seemed extremely married-" and he immediately went "oh, Garak and the doctor?" so that's very telling I think
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Hey, it's platonic anon again, I hope you don't mind me asking, as I have been feeling a little bit insecure lately, if you do one with alcina + daughters separate reactions to a fem head maid reader slowly getting deeper in depression because she has a little pudge that she doesn't like, but it just makes he look like a teddybear, and the maids have been making fun of her recently, and then she stops showing up to work all together, staying in her room and only eating one meal a day?
-platonic anon
Awhh, this is hella adorable, absolutely! :) Imma have to remove Alci though, hunny, I don't write for her though might occaisonally include her in pieces when I feel like it
Also oops, this got way longer than I thought it would, so imma have to split it into 3 parts. This oneâs Belaâs
Let's get into it! :)
Masterlists found at pinned; rip, my linking is busted
Bela
Being involved with the maidens by far more than her sisters, professionally so even, Bela notices when you don't show up for work immediately
And at first, she's willing to turn a blind eye to it, thinking that maybe you're simply too tired too work, or in need of a vacation
She does admit, there isn't all that much of that at the castle
But, she likes you
And as such, she's willing to ignore that you aren't working as you should be
That is, for the first two days, at least
She is sure: you know to come to her when in need of a break
It's not like she won't grant you one, so long as it isn't harvesting season or the beginning of winter and all staff members are needed
But it isn't, and your disappearance starts to feel a little...odd
Now, she wouldn't describe herself as someone caring for the maids, head maiden or not
But, she likes you
A kind, loving, hard working woman
Someone she finds: she enjoys spending her time with, and someone she has enjoyed getting to know
Not showing up to work is so...unusual for you. So out of character
And as such, despite what she's sure her sisters would say, she seeks you out
Knocking on the door to your room- despite not having to knock at pretty much any door in the castle due to her status- she waits patiently until you open the door for her
What she takes in has her gasp in surprise and take a step back momentarily
Your room is warm, yes, but the air has adapted a strange scent that has her scrunch up her nose. She never thought sheâd want to open a window
Youâre curled in bed, underneath the blankets, but she still sees the thick clothing covering you
Briefly, she worries this might be too warm for a little human, but drops the thought again
- temperature wise, you seem well and healthy enough
She takes a step closer again, her golden eyes finding yours at last
You seemâŚoff
Yet now that she stands in front of you, she seems at a loss for words, unsure what to say
Itâs not like sheâs used to cheering up anyone but her sisters
Glancing to the side, she sees multiple plates by your nightstand
One for each day you spent in your room
Is that all youâve eaten?
In her mind, she recalls: humans are supposed to eat three days a meal. Especially those hard at work
You donât speak, only stare at her, as if too tired and drained to do much
For once, she doesnât mind the lack of respectful bows and what not
For once, she supposes she can let this be a casual, friendly conversation
Still unsure of what to say, she sits by your bed, her flies buzzing anxiously
You look up for a moment, your eyes trailing across her face, down her neck and to her exposed collarbone, her chest and slim hips and waist
You canât help but fiddle with the blankets, canât help but compare her build to yours
Normally, you donât care
But the words from the maidens, the mockery aimed at you, hurt recently
You almost wish you could be like Bela, so confident, so strong, so strikingly beaufiful
You only ever want to be that, you think
âDidâŚsomething happen?â, she asks eventually, frowning slightly, as if unsure about her words
She really isnât sure about this, or how to go about this, and just hopes her awkward words come out right
For once, she wishes she was a little more like Daniela and could effortlessly keep this conversation up and ask whether youâre alright without this awkwardness
You gulp, pulled from your thoughts
Itâs a little unusual to see her like this- soâŚout of her element, almost
Still, you treasure her company, and see what sheâs doing
âIâm fineâ, you lie, pressing your eyes shut and refusing to whimper
You donât want to lie to her
You want to tell her all about it, want to even throw your arms around her and cry
Belaâs just always had this aura about her that made you seek her favor and praise
At the same time, you donât want to drive her away now, donât want to âbotherâ her with your problems
She frowns, confused. Hearing your heart quickening and picking up the scent of your sweat, sheâs hardly fooled by your answer
Only does she not quite understand why youâd lie. Especially to her
Instead, she does what she often does when her sisters lie to her and she sees through it. She stays quiet
You whimper as her golden eyes stay on you, a gentle gaze, but one that tells you sheâs awaiting your response and giving you the opportunity to correct yourself
And, wise enough, you do so
You feel tears welling up in your eyes as you pull away the blankets and pull the hoodie covering you up just slightly, just enough to show her the small pouch at your belly from under your top
Alas, she doesnât react, unsure what this means
While having been taught to express herself always, Bela is almost a stranger to insecurity- at the very least as it comes to her body
Sheâs never felt worried about the way she looks, paying little mind to it
You envy her
Then, just when you cover yourself up again, she asks again;
âDid something happen, little one?â
You crack
The nickname is enough for tears to run down your cheeks and- to your surprise- you feel her arm wrap around you
Youâre pulled to her, sniffling
You pick up her scent, her elegant perfume and the metallic scent of blood lying underneath, only picked up this close to her
And briefly, just briefly, you have a dark thought, wishing she could just kill those that treated you so unfairly
With her arm around you, you feel impossibly safe- likely unlike most others that are this close to her
You begin to talk, begin to tell her of everything
Of the mockery, of the laughter
Of the little, stabbing comments made here and there
Of the looks
Of the mean glances and words
Of your insecurities and the growing feeling of anxiety and emptiness in you
And Bela?
She doesnât interrupt, doesnât talk. She only listens to you, humming occasionally to let you know you have her full attention
Itâs a wonderful feeling
As you elaborate and cry a little more, she holds you tighter
She seems a little less awkward now, as if used to hold someone when they cry, and briefly you feel a strike of envy, wondering if thereâs other maidens held by her and comforted like this. Then, the feeling fades when you figure; it must be Daniela, her younger sister, who you know cries easily from own experiences of holding and comforting the young woman after one of her episodes
You find, Bela offers the best hugs, though, and likely quite the rare ones
You stay close to her, breathing out a sigh of relief when you finish talking
Itâs almost like speaking about it helped
She doesnât quite understand their behavior, writes it off to the general behavior of scum
She finds, as such, they deserve to be treated just as certain way, too
Youâre granted another day of staying in your room until Bela insists you return to work
More surprisingly, though, you find a maid, one of the newer ones, a little shy, but friendly, bring you a meal three times a day that day
She doesnât say a thing, too nervous in the castle still, but youâre certain she was tasked to do so by Bela
And when you do return to work, anxious and dressed in slightly bigger clothes than normal, as if you could hide away, you find no trace of those who mocked you
Perhaps wickedly, you wonder what happened to them, whether theyâve been dragged away, killed, mauled, toyed with my the sadistic Dimitrescu sisters
Whether Bela in particular killed them. Is killing them. Is hurting them
But itâs like they never even existed, instead
You hear no screams at night. No whispers of what might have happened at all
Itâs almost like your problems dissolved into thin airâŚ
And you know you have none other than Bela Dimitrescu to thank for it
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You can always tell when the writing for two characters and their conflict is compelling because you start to see continuous fights break out about which character is "right."
But in the case of Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo in particular, it really feels like the entire point of this drama is being missed by a mile to engage in that kind of thinking.
It does remind me of that quote from Blueming that my mind comes back to from time to time.
About pain, it's an absolute thing for a person. It's not something you can compare. If I feel pain, then it is pain. No body can judge you.
Some very wise words about how pain is not something that can truly be compared. And I do think those ideas continue through this narrative as well, but with the nuance of what if it's the person who you love that hurts you because you are both trying to manage that pain.
I know for many people it comes down to how one person treats the other - either directly (Dohoe pushing on Juyoung, challenging him, trying to make it seem like he can cut off Juyoung because it doesn't matter) and indirectly (Juyoung keeping a relationship with Dohoe's father who was both their abuser, pushing him to confront things he isn't ready to confront, thinking he needs to protect Dohoe from himself by keeping the gym even when that is the opposite of what Dohoe says very directly).
It's interesting because I identify with Juyoung's way of dealing with this trauma more, but it doesn't make it the correct way. And I do feel like the story is trying to say that. The 12 year separation really emphasizes that you can't make someone else deal with their trauma on your timeline no matter how much you love them. Love isn't this magic balm. You can't save someone else. But love can be a brightness in the dark, love can be hope. It's a really beautifully nuanced message.
And when you love someone you can hurt them and be hurt by them. You have to be able to see outside yourself and listen to the other person's needs to be in a relationship. And sometimes you have to decide that loving that person is too harmful to you.
It's Dohoe we see struggling with this, thinking loving Juyoung might be too harmful to him, thinking him loving Juyoung is harmful to Juyoung.
Juyoung is not thinking of that harm so people want to protect him, but that is about his own issues he also needs to deal with. He is just as responsible for figuring out his boundaries and deciding what he can manage and what he can't. He has to communicate his truths to Dohoe. There is still so much that he has held back.
And we see him start to do it. We see Juyoung calling Dohoe out on not saying how he feels and retreating so quickly. We see Juyoung saying what he needs. We see them starting to communicate, starting to smooth some of those edges and we can only hope they keep doing that.
Juyoung apologizes to Dohoe, but it seems like it's for trying to push Dohoe too hard too fast. Dohoe is being very clear about what he needs and Juyoung is now finally listening.
It's like a quote from To My Star (another Hwang Da Seul drama) I think of often:
I really like people like you. People who have their walls up. They seem really strong.
Dohoe's shutting things out is what has helped him survive. You can't just open the flood gates up all at once. Dohoe's avoidance is his protection and you can't just bulldoze it down.
This is a dance of loving someone where their needs are in direct conflict with yours and trying to manage that and figure out how much you can accept a little less of them or give a little more of yourself and hopefully bit by bit you come to some place in the middle together.
#let free the curse of taekwondo#this is such an accurate portrayal of a relationship that has faced trauma#I just can't stop thinking how viscerally real this all feels
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Could I maybe ask for your take on how the dorm leaders react to their SO playing with their hair (and their ears/horns when it comes to Leona/Malleus)?
I love your writing! đ
âHow are you so carefree with this? I swear you are full of surprises..â
Pairings: Multiple Characters X GN! Reader.
-*-
Note: Sure! Thanks for this request(*^o^*)⨠I admit I got a bit lazy so no Vil and Idia qwq.
RIDDLE was near to conjuring his signature magic with you, and he was very tempted to it when he felt a hand tucking a strand of his ruby hair behind the back of his ear until his eyes met yours. The howling snarl in his mind settled when he downed his cup of tea. In an attempt to remind himself. What kind of person would he be if he loses his conduct with a spouse of his because of his mania? And because you informed him how much he was as exquisite as if he was a prince from a mythology you heard from.
LEONA was generally meh with it. Just don't touch his tail, 'kay? Or else, he'll be making you his pillow for the rest of his evening. Let's say, you're lucky to be his mate because if it's the others, he'd probably flip with this blunder, deemed it as an annoyance for him. He's also extremely prideful with your display of affections and reassuring words, it somewhat feeds into his ego that at least he's number one in your opinion (unlike that damned lizard). It means a lot to him even if you are as dense as a rock or something too.
AZUL has an intriguing reaction. Internally, he's kicking his feet and beaming like a high-school boy interacting with his crush, how about external wise from your point of view? Gripping his coat, as he forced another customer service smiling face (that looks unnatural) as if he wasn't on the urge to hide himself in his octopus pot. Does that mean you'll marry him? Is this a yes? He's delusional. Not that I would blame him, he's overjoyed after all. From his tone, he seemed to be okay with these gestures...?
KALIM behaved as you'd guess. Zero hesitation. Poke his forehead? Go ahead. Hold hands? Wonderful. I wholeheartedly believe that he would encourage you to because it means that you were at ease with his presence. Easy to talk him into your sort of thing (while Jamil suffered). With how dazzling and happy-go-lucky he is, you wouldn't have the heart to refuse him either. He jumped up and dragged you to his drawer as he motioned you to pick out a brush so you could use it on him as you wished.
MALLEUS was ecstatic, that wouldn't be enough to describe him. For you, it may be due to your own curiosity or you being adventurous with the said fae, his pupils intently gazing into you. Is this how humans express their emotions? What's the underlying meaning? Too invested in his thoughts at this time. You ran your fingers along the curve, sturdy and bony sprouts on his height. Amusement was creeping on his features as he let out a chortle at it. How brave. You differ from everything he knew of, aren't you?
#twisted wonderland x you#twisted wonderland x reader#twst imagines#twst scenarios#twst prompts#twst riddle x reader#twst leona x reader#twst azul x reader#twst kalim x reader#twst malleus x reader#disney twisted wonderland#twst headcanons#gender neutral reader#etihw.writes
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jimmy nsfw alphabet PLEASEE and maybe curly too
jimmy nsfw alphabet.
nsfw â lowercase intended ^_^
fem reader â cw for jimmy overall.. manipulation/dubcon. this might be a little heavy to some so if youâre extremely sensitive to anything iâd just skip this one. he is misogynistic to hell. hints of bi jimmy :^
requests are open and heavily encouraged, i write for every mw character ^.^
notes; using every guy iâve ever known as inspo for writing this. donât like? donât read. block button is right there. i never write jimmy in a positive light and never will! curlys is already posted!
nsfw under the cut! minors do not read
a â aftercare, (what theyâre like after sex)
â i mean. if you ask for water or food heâll give it to you (begrudgingly..), but itâs not something heâll actively do. you know? he knows he can be rough at times but itâs not really a priority to him. besides, he kinda likes the sight of you all used up.
b â body part (their favorite body part, and their partners)
â for himself, his arms/shoulders. since he lifts i think he is quite lean..
â for you? probably your chest! he likes to grab at your boobs and squeeze at them, laughing at how you yelp or whatever.
c â cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
â i think his favorite would be on your face, like it gets in your hair and itâs all gross and stuff. that or would force it down your throat. wouldnât let you go until youâve swallowed it full. heâs scummy!
â iâve mentioned it once before but heâs not the kind to just. not pleasure you. he has to make sex worthwhile for you to wanna do it- without much work on trying to convince you on his end. heâll make sure you cum eventually.
d â dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)
â man where would i even start..
â iâll keep it a bit light for now, maybe. heâs jerked off to you, on you, as you sleep. itâs into stuff like that. you just look so sexy laid there. sometimes he cleans it and sometimes he doesnât.
â he always tells you the next day, however.
e â experience (how experienced are they?)
â heâs like the opposite of curly. very little committed relationships, many, many one night stands. he thinks if girls are willing to give their bodies up like that after one night, thereâs no reason to be in any sort of committed relationship.
f â favorite position (self explanatory)
â you bent over some sort of table, or wall sex. whatever constrains you where he doesnât have to do much work to do so. he also loves to pull on your hair so positions where heâs able to do that heâs into.
g â goofy (are they more serious in the moment?)
â he doesnât think about it. like mood and tension? as long as he gets off. might make a few jokes here or there but doesnât think much of it.
h â hair (how well groomed are they?)
â he trims if it gets too much, but itâs not really anything he cares about. doesnât care if youâre bothered by it.
i â intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic wise?)
â heâs not the most romantic. maybe on special occasions like your first time together, or your birthday, anniversary.. heâll say âi love youâ, just maybe. but in the long run he really only does it so youâll stay.
j â jack off (masturbation headcanon)
â he jerks off whenever possible. maybe a bit of an exaggeration. the type to just jerk off while scrolling on his phone, âjust causeâ- he doesnât think much of it and doesnât really have one to one sessions. if heâs alone and bored heâs jerking off.
k â kink (one of their kinks)
â as a community of jimmy fuckers (i am not apart of said community, but i see you) i appreciate how we all agree he is into ddlg. heâs gross. and honestly for kinks, iâd be better to write off things he isnât into. heâd watch women get tortured to get off, there really isnât much he wouldnât do.
â i wonât elaborate much on the ddlg thing because itâs personally not something iâd want to write about. but heâs into it, 100%.
â things like slapping, air restriction, tying his partner up, free use, water sports, somnophilia, corruption.. fuck- anything. really anything. just ask and heâs probably willing to do it.
l â location (favorite places to do it)
â likes bathroom stalls in gas stations because he thinks they are especially degrading and gross. even more so when youâre on your knees and pleasuring him. semi-public settings just turn him on.
m â motivation (what turns them on)
â this man gets horny to the smallest things..
â tease him even a little- show him skin on purpose and heâs fucking you straight. doesnât take much for him to get hard.
n â no (something they wouldnât do, turn offs)
â blank
â okay but anything that feels as if heâs not in full control. he likes tying you up, but he would not want to be. no way.
o â oral (preference in giving, receiving)
â he prefers receiving. eating pussy is not something he really likes to do. what pleasure could he derive from that, even? if you asked then maybe, if itâs something you really wanted.
p â pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)
â fast and rough. maybe slow and rough if heâs tired. he thinks rougher is better, and maybe to him but maybenot for you..
q â quickie (their opinion on quickies, how often)
â heâs into them. his goal with sex is to just get off, doesnât care if itâs quick or âintimateâ as people would say. if you like them then thatâs great! heâd rather do quickies than bother with actual, actual sex.
r â risk (are they willing to experiment? do they take risks?)
â heâs willing to risk a lot.. nothing that would ruin his public image, but like.. fucking in a park late at night, where someone might catch you. yeah, heâd do that. he thinks itâs hotter if youâre all exposed, and heâs masked and shit.
s â stamina (self explanatory)
â uh. like 2 rounds? anything more than that would just tire him out i think.
t â toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on themselves or their partner?)
â owns a fair share of toys, i wonât lie.. yes he owns a dildo and yes itâs for himself. he has toys for his partner as well he likes to use them often, multiple forms of stimulation- and seeing your reaction to that is extremely sexy..
u â unfair (how much do they like to tease?)
â a lot, he teases a lot.. he likes orgasm delay and stuff like that- sometimes he wouldnât let you cum at all. heâd say such mean things in bed to, to mock you and such. shaming you for letting him do this to you. all round horrible guy.
v â volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make?)
â he likes your noises over his. is that a surprise? thinks itâs one of the prettiest things about you. so he likes to keep it down. heâd say some stupid shit like.. making noises is a âgirl thingâ.
w â wild card (a random headcanon)
â occasionally he likes to overstimulate you, making you cum over and over. makes him feel as if he could control you if he could please you like that. no other man could, right?
x â x-ray (whatâs going on underneath?)
â his penis is extremely mediocre and regular. heâs seen curlys and is extremely jealous of him. itâs funny sorry. not every guy can have a good dick, and jimmy is apart of that percentage.
y â yearning (how high is their sex drive?
â pretty high. if youâre open to fucking 1-2 times a day he is open and willing. but if thatâs too much, maybe once every other day.
z â zzz.. (how quickly they fall asleep)
â falls asleep quick, but only needs like- a 10 minute nap or so. not the type to sleep, sleep- even if itâs late at night.
#nomnompyon#mouthwashing#mouthwashing fic#mouthwashing x reader#jimmy x reader mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing x reader#co pilot jimmy#jimmy x reader#jimmy mouthwashing#jimmy mw
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Waterfall / C.S
Genre: Fluff, Smut
Pairing: Husband!San x Fem reader
Word count: 1,8k
Warnings/tags: newlyweds, husband!san, honeymoon, pool sex, unprotected sex, teasing, fingering, dirty talk, hand job, mild breast/nipple play, semi-public sex, cumplay, squirting, talking about making a baby
After seeing this clip on Instagram I had to write a pool sex smut for Sannie, oop-
Tagging @a-soft-hornytiny to go down with me
ENJOY!
Your wedding had only been three days ago, yet you felt like you were husband and wife for years. It had always been that way, easy. When you met San, almost four years ago, he was still a twenty year old boy.
His voice still quite high, very playful and loving. It didn't take long for the two of you to fall in love. Your personality and energy matched his, and he cared for you.
When you were sick he'd take the train all across Seoul to your home to bring you soup. When it was Summer he'd plan all kinds of dates, often meaning you two would go swimming.
Growing up in Namhae, an island in the South of the country, he's always loved water. Even if it was just sitting beside the water, he'd feel peaceful and calm.
Now it's four years later, and you married the boy, who turned into a beautiful and sophisticated man. Some people disagreed with your marriage, saying you had married too quickly, and some people tended to misjudge his character. But you knew inside the handsome shell there was a warm heart.
While you thought about his kind nature, you felt a familiar hand on your shoulder. San sat down next to you on the edge of the pool, two glasses with champagne in his hands. He smiled sweetly, revealing his charming dimple.
''What are you thinking about, honey?'' he asked as he handed you a glass. ''Just how much I'm in love with you. I made the right decision marrying you,'' you smiled, sipping the champagne.
It was mid March and you were at a hotel in Thailand for your honeymoon. San had almost begged you to get a private pool on your stay, so he was pleased to know your room was at the highest floor of the hotel, with a pool on the large balcony where you could look over the entire city.
San was over the moon to be with you, unable to believe you're actually his wife now. He smiled at you, admiring the way your red bikini flattered your body shape.
After finishing his champagne, he took off the black tanktop he was wearing and let himself sink into the water.
''It's so nice, my love, it's like a big jacuzzi,'' he smiled. You grinned at him, still drinking your champagne. You watched him for a while, just swimming around, seeing him enjoy the water.
You shotted the last bit of your drink before letting yourself sink into the water as well, feeling the warm water hug your body. You swam towards him, but he smirked and you knew he'd just swim to the other side of the pool to tease you.
''San-ah~'' you whined, ''stay still!'' you laughed. He grinned and stopped swimming away. He stilled in the middle of the pool, where you met him, wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss on his temple.
''I love you, sweetheart,'' he whispered in your ear, ''and I want the whole world to know.''
''Then why did you whisper?'' you grinned, teasing him. San laughed and rolled his eyes.
''I love my Y/N!'' San yelled into the far distance. You quickly put your hand over his mouth, laughing. ''Shut up, San, you're loud.''
''As if you don't like that,'' he winked, causing you to smirk.
San had a very high libido, which resulted in you two having sex at least five days a week usually, and most days it wasn't just once. It was hard to keep up with him at first. You had never expected your sweet boy to be so horny.
As the two of you got older you kept exploring each other and found each other's turn on's. The way he turned from a more lean boy into the muscular man he is now made you weak. He now lifts you with ease, holds you still with ease and there's no way you could beat him strength-wise.
You snapped back in reality when you felt San's wet lips and tongue in your neck, causing you to moan his name. He brought the two of you closer to the edge, so you could hold onto the poolstairs. You wrapped your legs around his hips tightly, hoping to stay above water properly.
He slipped his fingers between your legs, rubbing your clothed core. You whined softly, being sensitive to his touch. He slid your bikini bottom to the side and slowly entered your pussy with 2 fingers.
Countless of times you two had been in the water together, feeling each other up. But tonight, as a married couple, with the light of the moon and the stars and the burning torches it felt special. You'd remember the feeling of his fingers in your cunt forever.
His pace was quick and he knew just how to hit your sweet spots. You tried to stay quiet, knowing there would be people who could hear you, but San was lapping at your clothed nipples and you felt yourself going insane. You couldn't help but let a moan slip from your lips.
''You're so pretty, my love, so perfect for me,'' he whispered in your ear, causing goosebumps to show up on your skin.
He undid the clasp of your top, letting it fall into the water. He licked and sucked at your bare breasts. San seemed to be so eager to have them in his mouth. You thought you'd faint at the sight of him groaning with his mouth full of your boob.
''I need your cock, San,'' you begged, not being able to hold back anymore. Your nails clawed in his back as he fucked three fingers into you.
''Yeah? You need my cock?''
''Yes, San, I need your cock.''
''You need my cock to fill your fucking pussy?''
You thought your lungs would give out, the way he'd speak to you every time you had sex. He was pure filth and you loved it.
He yanked both your bottoms off, nearly ripping them causing you to curse under your breath. ''Those aren't cheap, San,'' you warned him.
''Shut up,'' he said before sinking you down on his hard cock. ''Just take my cock, hm? Like a good girl, my good wife, hm?''
''Yes, yes, I'll take your cock,'' you moaned as he pushed himself deeper inside your hole. ''You better.''
San pushed you against the wall of the pool and you swore you scratched your back against the tiles, but with his length inside you, you couldn't care less at the moment.
You wrapped your legs around his waist so tight, causing him to smirk. He held your hips as he moved you on his dick. The water made it a heavy job, but San loved a challenge.
Your moans grew louder with every thrust, and you felt as if your bodies were colliding in the most passionate and sinful way in the silver moonlight.
Your breasts bounced lightly, splashing the warm water on his chest. He took your right nipple in his mouth, giving it a harsh suck.
''San! O-oh god, I'm close,'' you moaned. San picked up his pace, feeling you clench around him.
''Ah! A-ah, ah, San, yes, San, San!''
Groans and whines fell off your lips while you moaned his name like a mantra, feeling posessed by his love spell.
''Oh San, I'm coming, I'm coming!''
''That's it, baby, cum on my cock, tell the world who's fucking you so good,'' he groaned.
''Yes, San! Y-you, San!'' you moaned.
It took a few more thrusts for you to unravel in his arms, coming on his pulsating cock. He pulled out of you before he could cum, stopping his own orgasm.
You whined at the familiar sensation, still sensitive from your high just a minute ago.
He smirked and rubbed your clit with his thumb, causing you to whine. San kissed your head and laid you on the edge of the pool.
He climbed out of the water and hovered above you, pushing his cock inside you again.
San moved fast and quick, panting heavily now himself. He fucked you deep and hard, your eyes rolling back out of pleasure.
''You're taking my cock so well, baby, do you think you can cum on my fucking cock again? Coat it with your cum so fucking beautifully? Show me how good you are? Hm? Fuck baby,'' he cursed.
''Yes, I'm gonna cum!''
He nearly made you scream with how hard he fucked you, his knee scraping on the tile. It was worth it. Anything to see you come undone on him.
Only a minute later you felt yourself climax on his dick, sending yourself in a heavenly headspace. Your body shook around him, your nails digging in his shoulders as you squirted all over his lower body.
San smirked, his tongue darting out his mouth to lick his lips. He slowly rode out your orgasm and pulled out of your sopping cunt.
''Such a good girl, squirting all over me like a fucking waterfall,'' he groaned.
He brought himself closer to your chest, dick standing proud against his muscular stomach.
''Gonna take care of me now hm? Look at that... My hard cock with all your arousal and squirt still on it... You like that?''
''Fucking love it, San, I fucking love it!''
You spat in your hand and pumped it over his dick, making sure he was well covered before you started to jerk him off.
He groaned loudly, throwing his head back. By the way he was panting and the way his chest moved you knew he was close, and you opened your mouth.
''Cum for me, Sannie, give me all your cum,'' you begged.
Before he could say anything, San spurted his cum all over your chest and your mouth. You licked your lips as you milked him dry, getting all of his sperm out.
You panted heavily when he started licking the cum off your body, gathering it all with his tongue, which he then slid into your mouth.
You felt the cum coat your tongues while they swirled against each other.
''Swallow,'' San ordered when he pulled back from you. You gulped down the mixture of his cum and your combined saliva and closed your eyes.
After a while of laying on the cold tiles in your afterglow, he gently lifted you up and walked back into the hotel room. He put you down in the bathroom and wrapped a large sauna towel around the two of you and smiled.
''My perfect wife,'' he smiled, ''next time we'll make a baby,'' he teased.
You giggled at the thought and you wrapped your arms around his waist. ''That sounds nice, I'd like that.''
''It'll be perfect, sweetheart.''
#choi san#san#ateez#smut#oneshot#this is filth#san in the pool had me going crazy#fluff#i love husband san
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