#genuinely cannot believe that this has been in my drafts for a year and a half but I digress

[cheeseceli]

Skz meeting a pretty fan

Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: fluff, just a tiny little bit of angst, headcanons

Description: their reaction to meeting a pretty fan during a fan meeting

Warnings: kind of love at first sight trope, delusional, some of them are dramatic, they are all idols, not proofread

A/n: the way it's been over a year that this has been in my drafts | daily click

Bang Chan

He was kinda of tired already so he was zoning out

When he sees you he is like "...oh"

He is so invested in your conversation

If you comment about the production behind the music he will be so happy

Genuinely loves when someone acknowledges his work so his eyes will shine and he will smile so hard while explaining everything to you

He is upset when you need to move on to the next member

Sees you laughing with the other members and he's like 🤨

Wonders what they did that managed to make you laugh that much

Lee Know

He would stare at you

You know when his mouth is open and you can see his eyes shining?

Yeah, that's him right now

You say hello and he would give you his nervous laugh before looking at you again with those stary eyes

I swear he is such a softie

Would listen to every single word that you say, you can tell he is paying so much attention

Autographs something for you and makes a funny drawing as well hoping you'd laugh

Side eyes the staff when they say the time is up

Even when you move to the next member and other fan is talking to him, he would still look at your direction sometimes and get so flustered if you catch him looking at you

Changbin

Starts small talk right away

Will 100% compliment you

You ask him an autograph and he wonders how bad would it be if he gave you his number instead

Like he knows he cannot do that

But maybe if he was sneaky enough...

Doesn't do it by the end but he low-key regrets it for the rest of his life

He will wake up one day after five years and be like "damn I should've given them my number"

And he will make that everyone's problem

The boys can't stand it anymore because they've heard enough about you by now 😭

Convinces himself that he will see you again one day

Hyunjin

He sees you before you see him, so he is panicking

Is looking at the line all the time wondering if you will want to talk to him

Asks han if his hair looks good before it's your turn to talk to him

No but fr, he can't take his eyes off you

When you start talking he is like 😯

You look and sound like an angel, he must be in heaven

Even after the fan meeting he can't stop thinking about you

If he's feeling bold enough, he will definitely flirt with you

Low-key forgot he was an idol and was ready to risk it all for you

Han

Might believe in love at first sight after your meeting

Compliment him once and he will get so shy

Like sir, weren't you the one flirting like two seconds ago🤨

Would feel so betrayed if he isn't your bias LMAO

He has like a minute and a half to convince you he's the best stray kids member and he WILL try that

And he hopes that someone will record his flirty antics and post it on tiktok just so he can find your socials

He will make all the boys stalk the internet to try to find you

"but you can't contact them even if you find their account, so what's the point?" idk bro but he wants to see you again somehow

Felix

SUCH A FLIRT

The moment he looks at you he is already trying to win your heart

Kinda forgot he was an idol pt.2

Except he didn't forget

He just doesn't care

He wants to flirt with you and that's precisely what he will do

Will even flirt through his autograph if he can

Uses any kind of excuse to make physical contact with you ✨

And side eyes the staff when they tell him it's time to move on

Like no it's not??

Seungmin

Actually pretty good at hiding his new crush??

The most normal one out here surprisingly lol

He will be able to cover it up as just "good mood" but let's be for real

It's because of you

Anyways

Will smile so much

If you compliment his smile (please do!) he will get shy but so so happy

Also steals glances when you go to the next member

He'll be talking to the next fan but ends up laughing because of something he heard you say to another one of the boys

The fan is like ?? but Seungmin is able to play it off

I.N

So dedicated to give you a good impression

If you tell him your favourite skz song is one of his solos (or that your favourite has that title because of his vocals) this man is in heaven

Forgot he was an idol pt.3 except he didn't forget

He just lowkey very lowkey didn't want to be an idol in that exact moment

Had it been on any normal occasion he would probably try to charm you over

But this was his job

He couldn't possibly get delulu over a fan 😭 although he was already midway to that

Ends up covering a song you said you thought would fit his voice

Sees the comments of the cover wondering each one of those were yours

Masterlist | you'll probably like: unrequited love

Reminder that this is all fiction, this does not represent the members in real life!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143 @sleepyleeji @jinnie-ret @sheraayasherrecs

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto | Images 1, 2 and 3

[sbd-laytall]

Some miscellaneous panels about what it means to be a hero.

Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #50, Ms. Marvel (2014) #5, Daredevil: The Man Without Fear (1993) #4, Batman (2011) #32, Daredevil (1964) #13, Adventures Of Superman (1987) #505

[81folklore]

new years day - STYLES

pairings: harry styles x gn!reader (fc: none)

summary: harrys partner reminisces on instagram over the past 2 years of love on tour before the final show

authors note: i was listening to my sleepy taylor playlist and this song started playing and it took me back to all the love on tour edits so i had to create a smau for it.. i promise im working on the drafts i put on that poll!!

authors note 2: i used they/them pronouns when writing because nothing ever really specified readers gender so please imagine as you will!!

masterlist

yourusername has added to their story

*text on first photo reads: a couple of my favorite love on tour fits over the years💙*

seen by harrystyles, gemmastyles and 637,572 others

yourusername

liked by harrystyles, harry_lambert and 826,891 others

its going to be impossible to not miss this☹️

view comments

harrystyles: ❤️❤️

user7: oh i love them so much

user18: the support you show for harry is so lovely :’)

user73: im going to miss guessing what the styles will be wearing every night☹️

harry_lambert: so many outfits! so many fun nights!

yourusername: ahh ill miss seeing what youve put together for h

annetwist: ill miss seeing you so often darling!!

yourusername: you wont be able to get rid of us, promise🤍

yourusername added to their story

*text on first photo reads: and with that my final love on tour outfit is done💗* *text on second photo reads: bring on the finale🥹*

seen by harrystyles, annetwist and 752,174 others

yourusername

liked by harrystyles, lloyddddddddddddddddd and 1,118,592 others

tagged: harrystyles

theres glitter on the floor after the party, girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby…

i have never been as sad as i am right now writing that love on tour is officially over! this has honestly been one of the craziest experiences for everyone; myself, the fans and for you harry. being able to watch you grow as an artist and an individual on and off stage for the past two years has been an honor and i cannot thank you enough for bringing me on this incredible journey with you

the love i feel for you is one i struggle to describe, its a feeling of joy when i see you on stage, its a feeling of hurt when i see you at your lows, its a feeling of pure happiness when i see you being who you are. loving you is something so genuinely special and i cannot believe i am the one who gets to witness all of you, all of your life

love on tour is truly something that is one of a kind and the family you were able to create with it will be something that lasts forever along with the memories created these past years

i dont think i will ever get over being the one to see you achieve everything you have ever wanted, getting to be the one you come to after a show and just hug until your hearts content, getting to be the person you cry on after a show like slane or wembley where you just felt so overwhelmed by the love and support you received

i will thank you everyday for choosing me to be that person, to be the person you love, to be the person you have join you in this life youve created for yourself

thank you love on tour and thank you harry

i will love you both forever and ever❤️‍🩹

view comments

capitalofficial: im not crying you are🥲

harryflorals: we love you both💐

gemmastyles: 😭😭😭🤍🤍

harrystyles: 💗💗

user6: i need harry to learn how to use instagram properly i NEED to see his response😭

user89: sobbing and screaming

user35: they love him so much😭😭

harrystyles: baby the love i have for you is endless, thank you for coming with me on this journey and thank you for letting me love you. i love you so so much

user35: and HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH😭😭

user62: i feel sick they love eachother so much❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

yourusername added to their story

seen by user56, user77 and 916,473 others

*first story has the song ‘new years day’ by taylor swift attached* *second story text reads: 🏠*

[almostfoxglove]

Absolutely loved the new chapter of see you at three! Those lovebirds have my heart 💘 I was wondering if you’ll explore Nelle being a bit more maternal towards Sarah - do you think Nelle would feel like she’s overstepping (I feel like maybe Joel would just fall deeper for her because of it), do you think Ellie would get a little jealous as it’s her aunt?! Cannot wait for the next chapter x

eeee hi sweetheart!! thank you so much omg, I'm so happy you liked the new chapter :,) they have my heart too! and I LOVE THIS QUESTION - I've been working out the next few chapters in my head and your timing is incredible, honestly (are you peekin around in my drafts?? very sneaky!!)

I'm going to pop some thoughts under the cut because I think they might be spoiler-y - I'm gonna try not to give anything away plot-wise, but this will obviously spoil some of the vibes / general themes from future bits sooo....

*~ !! SPOILERS FOR SEE YOU AT THREE BELOW THE CUT !! ~*

(I AM SO SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR HOW LONG THIS GOT I JUST HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT THIS)

okay: if you were to ask nelle, she'd insist she is not a maternal person, but I think she is - just not in what she perceives to be the "typical" way. similar to anna, she doesn't talk to the girls how most adults would (her filter is... loosely attached) and she's never wanted kids herself - but she obviously likes kids, cares pretty fiercely for ellie, and is genuinely happy to spend extended periods of time with the girls with zero complaints.

when it comes to sarah going forward - I don't think nelle is ever going to feel she's overstepping because in her mind, she's never gonna step, if that makes sense? she loves that kid & will love her more as time goes on, will feel very protective of her, but I think she'll see her role in sarah's life similar to her role in ellie's: a core adult / protector, but not an authority. she might not know the story with sarah's mom but can clearly see she isn't in sarah's life, and I think she'll always see sarah as being joel's and won't feel the desire to encroach on that dynamic. I don't see her as someone who's going to "parent" sarah in any disciplinary way (at most, I could imagine her telling a teenaged sarah off for doing something dangerous for the sake of her safety - like idk if sarah ever came home drunk from a party and didn't call one of them for a safe ride home or smt, I can see nelle pulling the whole "don't be a fucking idiot if you're drunk you call and we will bring you home safe" card), but I do see her as becoming a confidant to her, especially as sarah gets older. because she's blunt, I think sarah would approach nelle for advice / emotional support because she trusts that nelle wouldn't lie to her (which is true)

NOW... THAT BEING SAID, I 100% think that sarah will come to see nelle as a parental figure in the future. I'm not sure if she'd ever call nelle Mom per se, but when she's older and can see all the years nelle's been in her life (sob) I believe she'll feel that nelle has been that to her, ya know? and sarah will love her like that.

similarly, I think joel will come to see nelle as that too, down the line - perhaps even more so because nelle will never assume herself to be in that role. (and you're so right - he is gonna love her even harder for that) he already sees how much sarah cares for nelle / how comfortable she is with her (and in some ways looks up to her already) and as they spend more time together it's going to be really clear to him that nelle is that in sarah's eyes. he'll never ask sarah to feel any particular way about it, he'll never expect sarah to think of nelle as "mom," but he'll see it the second sarah feels it, if that makes sense :,)

so GIVEN ALL THAT - I think re: ellie & feeling jealous is a maybe. because nelle is never going to make any conscious move to be a "mother" to sarah, I don't think ellie will ever actually feel she's losing nelle or that sarah "has" more of nelle than she does - but especially as ellie gets older / hormonal I think it's fairly likely that if she's feeling cornered or angry that a superficial jealousy could flare in a heated moment, and she could lash out in a fight with some little comment about nelle & sarah when she's defensive or upset about something else she's too scared to say and then would immediately regret it (because nelle would take that hard, imo, even if she knew ellie didn't really mean it). but ellie's a good kid. when she cooled down, she'd go apologize and admit whatever she's actually upset about. but I don't see jealousy as becoming a genuine / long term conflict between them in this way!!

THIS WAS SO LONG. I'M SO SORRY. I hope literally any of this was interesting HA but I'm really excited to explore more of nelle's relationship to sarah in the future, especially as her relationship w joel solidifies!! ILYSM. thank you for asking this it was fun to yap :,)

[spadesolace]

what if i told you that i've fallen?

pairings: idol! yeji x fan! reader

you fell first, yeji fell harder

warning/s: n/a

request: no, this was sitting on my drafts for quite some time.

part 1

your mind still cannot comprehend the fact that you have yeji’s number.

or the fact that after you had gotten her number, and spent an entire day trying to think of a message to send only to end up with ‘hey, is this yeji?’

or after sending that message, the non-stop communication followed suit, then your first date, first kiss, or making things official.

being a fan since debut, 3 years since you met ITZY, and yet it still amazes you how they managed to get your heart. yeji did see you, more so than you thought.

it wasn’t a parasocial relationship at all. from the subtle glances to always picking your phone amongst the crowd. here, you thought you just had insane luck as a midzy. still, being a fan and having a relationship with an idol… it seemed a little off for you.

maybe it was the fact that you knew everything about yeji and that she had to learn about your likes and dislikes during fanmeets. maybe it was the way you would watch yeji do fanservice on the other side of the world, missing her deeply. or it was the fear of being exposed.

you’ve been dating yeji for quite some time, it's the first fansign since you two became official. the members know your face and are very close to you. everything seemed a bit off but then again, you were dating an idol who you assumed wouldn’t look at you the same way you tried to push away. the girls have been gone for quite some time, especially since they just finished their tour in the states. seeing yeji on stage again after months, it brought back a lot of memories.

her genuine smile, trying to show affection to you, she did see you. it wasn’t fanservice, she was thankful that you were a loyal fan, and it was all genuine… yeji saw you from the very beginning.

you don’t believe in love at first sight… you still don’t but merely watching yeji perform to her heart’s content during their debut stage. maybe you were also denying the fact that you fell for her first. watching her perform again during the MAMA stage, the butterflies in your stomach erupted, you kept on falling and falling and falling… you love her performance, you love her passion, still you can’t say it to her face that you love her.

it was only the night before her flight to kick off the Asia leg of the tour. arms entangled, her humming their song nobody like you because you told her that it was your favorite b-side, that you just said it with eyes closed and a contented smile.

“i love you, yeji.” you couldn’t see it but yeji was smiling back at you. there were a lot of things you didn’t know. how you fell first but yeji fell harder, there was something about you that pulled yeji in and she tried to push it away.

like you, she saw the dangers of having a relationship with a fan, the hate, the controversies, and yet subconsciously she developed a parasocial relationship with you. that alone was already dangerous but when her own group mates had persuaded her into confessing to you or atleast deepen the relationship… she took it.

she saw you and she still does, confessing your love for her was all she needed to finally come to terms that she has fallen.

“i love you too.”

[fazball]

I want to start this with why You should listen to Me about this :^3! Hi, I'm Chip and I have had a special interest in Minecraft roleplay since I was about 9 (assuming Aphmau's Minecraft Diaries was truly my first mcrp) and that would mean I have had this special interest for Nine Years and I'd like to think I know what I'm talking about.

Now onto what I actually want to talk about! I feel that Minecraft roleplay is simply not explored as much as it truly could be. There is so little of this genre, at least compared to things like let's play series and challenge videos, and it is so baffling to me that a game like Minecraft, an open-world sandbox game with little to no actual canon, would not have a surplus of content like this! Of course recently there has been a significant uptick in content like this because of the DSMP, and I am honestly overjoyed about that, but before this there has been almost nothing? Now obviously I cannot know every single mcrp series ever created, nor have I even watched every series I've seen come on my recommended, but I can confidently say there is a lack of content! Specifically a lack of intentional content.

There are so many series/servers that are completely non-rp, but include things with jokey moments where they allude to things in the past as if it was serious and affected their MC character, or are half-and-half. What I mean by half-and-half is that the series is not actually called an rp (or even just not intended to be and slowly became a thing that regularly happens), but there are many moments where there is clearly a story that everyone is following in some way. I think a good example of this is Hermitcraft, of course I have not seen every single Hermitcraft episode and cannot say if its always been like this, but, for example, in season 7 (which I have fully seen a few creators series) there is a semi-clear story with occasional rp moments, but it is still just a normal SMP. I honestly love servers like this as it's hard for me to actually sit down and watch something that could be considered a show, but the amount of wasted potential is so upsetting to me!!!

There are even many series and SMPs that have no rp at all outside of jokes and the push is from the fandom surrounding it. I unfortunately don't have an example from off the top of my head, but they do exist trust me!!!! I think I could, once again, loosely say Hermitcraft as the creators tend to be involved in the fandom. There are a few moments where they did not consider something as a story moment, they saw fanart or someone talking about it in a more serious way, then they bring it up! I love this aswell, I think it's so fun!!! (if i am completely wrong about this do not point it out :( simply believe me)

You could make any story you'd ever want, you have literally anything at your disposal and so little people actually go for it. In a game where you can: customize your character, literally build (and even specifically retexture) the world around you, have others join you as a character in your story, or make your own NPCs and dialogue, you could genuinely make any story you could ever want and I encourage everyone to dip their toes into it. If you have ever thought of making a story, try using Minecraft. I'd say it's even the perfect place to start.

Final messages!!!! If this all sounds like word vomit, thats because it is! I don't tend to make large posts like this and even struggle to make comprehensible paragraphs, I literally started talking about this on my Twitter account then drafted all of it in a personal discord server. Anyways, thank you for reading if you got this far!!! If you'd like any mcrp recommendations let me know, I will warn you that most of my favorites are Old and aren't the greatest quality Or could be considered a complete normal series. I just love mcrp so bad and it's my longest lasting spin, and I hope there are others who share this!!!!!! Okay goot bye :^3 thank you again for reading if you did

[redr0sewrites]

Hey so I just saw your post about writing about Alastor. And firstly I just wanted to say (As an Aroace person) that its really sweet of you to try and not misrepresent anybody.

Now what I'm about to say may only apply to me but this is my opinion on what you can do.

I personally see no problem with you writing Alastor in sexual or romantic stories because he IS a fictional character, and not a real person. However I understand your views on not wanting to hurt anybody or change him so here are some little tips.

Aroace people can come in different forms and styles (In a simple way of putting it.) Such as me, personally. I do not have the desire to be intimate with anybody ever or at all, or get into a romantic relationship with anybody. While others may be just Asexual (or aroace but we will just say Asexual for simple terms) and is willing to have sex and enjoy it.

Asexuals is defined by someone having little to no desire or feel the need to get intimate with anybody, however they can have sex. There are different types like acespikes and such but I'd just suggest sticking with the basics and to not over stress about it. Some asexuals like the pleasure themselves, while others may prefer to pleasure their partner.

I think that this is all I can really tell at the moment, because I have been aroace for only about 1-2 years now, but asexual for 3-4. And as said before, this is just my views on some info if you want some help, while others may feel differently, and that is perfectly okay.

So overall, I believe you should do whatever the fuck you want because its your blog and its a fictional character. But not wanting to misrepresent is also okay, and you can research if you want to. Or if you just don't feel comfortable writing stuff like that, that's perfectly fine and don't let anybody make you feel like you can or cannot.

Much love <3 have a great day. (I wrote this on two hours of sleep so I'm sorry if its shitty)

aaaa tysm for the feedback!! i've recieved sm positive commentary and information and im so so grateful for anyone who has replied to my previous post!!!! ur all so sweet and im genuinely so grateful. once i finish up the rough draft i'll prob send it to a few aro/ace people who offered to be beta readers for their insight, and im just so excited! <3333333

[spacexseven]

Inspired by the wonderful work of Tuna, and prince fyo and the numerous contributions of 🌺 with this ask and this ask + 🩹 ask

Links bc tumblr nerfted this once:

For prince fyo: https://www.tumblr.com/spacexseven/716304129101905920/ik-the-royal-au-is-my-ida-but-i-wanna-hear-more-of

🌺 1: https://www.tumblr.com/spacexseven/715673822625513472/im-the-possibilities-are-endlessss-like-at-first

🌺 2: https://www.tumblr.com/spacexseven/715545715174146048/this-is-not-a-request-but-like-im-rambling-my

dazai 🩹: https://www.tumblr.com/spacexseven/716312685221920768/tuna-tuna-princes-and-knights-you-are

Excellent Pieces and excerpts from the first fic:

“the maids that giggle about how weak he looks. even the other nobles don't hide their insults, spreading rumours that tarnish his reputation and drag his name through the mud though they knew nothing about him.”

“ as far as you're concerned, his highness prefers working from the shadows. he isn't as popular as the other princes, nor does he have any offensive skills to show—his influence is weak and his demeanor mild.”

“ He liked watching you leap up and put your life before his, even if the slightest scratch you received in return would lead to the complete annihilation of the person who planned the attack.”

“ He liked knowing that you had already dedicated your life to serving him. and if letting you believe he was weak would mean you coddled him even a little more, he didn't mind keeping up the appearances for a little longer.

“ but the charade had to end someday, and as he observed the look of admiration and surprise from you, who was witnessing him for his true nature,”

🦄: Okay! so this was a major inspiration for the rumors section of royal au. I liked the idea of rumors both by the public and more fabrication for power. I took some of the ideas presented in this concept fic and Used them for the au, especially with the Dazai and Fyodor section. Most of the princes have some drama in their lives and are considered black sheeps by the royal court of the kingdom. Fyodor was and still is one of the most ominous and dangerous of the princes, but he isn’t omniscient. The plan for “this” Fyodor is vague because I wanted to make space for any future installments or ideas expanding by anyone who wishes to add more thoughts to this au (feel free anybody!). However, something that was previously done in the drafts of the aus was him not being completely human (as the rumours say). The finished piece i sent you was running with idea that Fyodor might’ve be a homunculus of some kind, similar to Albedo (Genshin Impact) or a clone situation like Chuuya (underrated aspect of his lore) — or the fact that Fyodor might be a regressor or a transmigrator like Sigma. I also thought briefly in older drafts that Fyodor was a demon king who died and reincarnated every hundred years to attempt and restore his glory but fails as he get thwarted by a holy knight, but I didn’t want to put the Knight Darling into the ringer (Dazai does that for me).

on the princes:

🐟: chuuya my beloved :( cannot believe darling killed him bfr!! and the fact that he was genuinely trying to warn them about dazai </3 chuuya feels a lot more human than the others (ironic bcs of the 'imposter' rumors lol) but i cant help but wonder how different things would have been if darling followed chuuya instead of dazai…

okay so first: “ chuuya feels a lot more human than the others ” — YES! Thank you, this was on purpose and I'm glad I was able to properly showcase it. Chuuya is the most human and down to earth out of all the unhinged princes, but he still has red flags that don’t get shown because he dies early on in most timelines for being a slightly better human.

however, In some early drafts: “Chuuya is pretty to look at, and you wouldn’t have minded waking up next him if you didn’t know about the rotting lookalikes that lay chained to the chamber’s of his manor.” Uncanny valley “Chuuya.” my beloved + Draft! Dazai: “It’s a nightmare that you live between both reality and delusion. You lead each fair maiden and gentleman — sacrifices — into the maze and watchas Dazai lets the chain go off Akutagawa. The screams that follow always haunt you as you close your eyes”. The og drafts had awful royalty dazai that hunted people for sport since some of those “rumors” held some truth + plus cursed! aku. As you know by the previous answer, Fyodor has also gone through multiple different ideas, but frankly just thinking about an ambitious, always wanting and scheming human Fyodor is already enough nightmare fuel as it is.

Okay, So if darling followed Chuuya, Darling would end up dying. Chuuya is cursed by “something” that actually consumes anybody that takes the place of a “lover” by chuuya sides. As long as Chuuya doesn’t think about anybody as a “lover” the curse won’t affect them, but the moment Chuuya falls in love and starts fantasizing about Darling it always ends up with them dead. Rip Darling. Because of this, Darling never really gets to be a personal knight to Chuuya via Sigma intercepting and making sure Darling at least gets to live for a couple of more years.

Sigma is always working around this, and at the knight pledge event chuuya was out because his winery had been spiked and burglarized. Sigma is a good prince who’s acting like a guardian angel for Darling. So Darling would probably go for it (50 - a no for guilt of the past, but 50 - for yes for redemption) but it’s unlikely since Sigma will do anything to ensure darling’s survival. Sigma is always in bcakground, stressing and gathering more trauma with each loop he fails.

And yes, this the curse is somewhat of an open secret, and Dazai did have Chuuya Killed off partially because of this. He noticed Chuuya Attraction towards what is “his” and didn’t need the danger attached to it to possibly harm darling so chuuya had to go. (and if that information came from a certain jester attached to the hip of the fourth prince — well, he merely heard it from someone who told someone else about the rumours)

Chuuya was also aware of the possibility of a fellow “imposter” but didn’t know which prince it came from. All the princes have suspicious and secretive origins. Chuuya was searching for a fellow “outsider” as he saw himself be. rip chuuya. however, he is pretty unhinged later on when he gets to live longer.

🐟 : I love prince dazai :((( even if hes a little bit scummy i adore him and his terrible ways <3 love the idea of him picking out a weapon for darling and engraving his name onto it before giving it to them like a constant reminder of whose grace they're under ahh the thought of him avenging everyone who hurt darling even after their death is soo yummy loosing his mind bc the guilt and the way he failed to save you is eating him up. (also the line; a different monster will lead you astray is soo mmmm)

Thank you! I genuinely had a lot fun writing for the Dazai part, lowkey got converted to the Dazai base via 🩹 and their dazai asks. They really fueled a lot of Dazai’s character when I went to look back to see how Dazai would act and behave. You mentioned how Dazai would feel about breaking his darling, and even if in this au Dazai is slightly Yan (more scummy and unhinged than full yan (for now)) that did inspire me to make him the “first love that betrayed” trope in typical manhwa otome isekai. Chuuya would contrast him by being the “green flag” of the duo. The collar asks also came into play because I was super duper close to writing Dazai collaring the Knight as a sign of ownership before backpedaling into a dagger. I’m a coward Tuna. I love it when in media Lovers use or push away their beloveds and lose their mind when said beloved dies by their accidental plans backfiring or going the wrong way than what they expected. its so good watching them lose their minds be it self destructing or destroying everyone else.

And yeah: a different monster will lead you astray - I loved that line and i had to rewrite some aspects of the au to fit it! im glad it stood out of you too!!

🐟: i love the comparison of fyodor and dazai, how darling 'chooses' fyodor this time bc they see dazai in him...also very curious that his death was overwritten in their memory hmm i wonder why. i think maybe the fact that fyodor was weak and seemingly defenseless except for his words and his charm, unlike dazai who always seemed to be dangerous to everyone, was what ultimately attracted darling this time? maybe they want to believe he would need them more than dazai did, and wouldn't betray them after all?

Yes! Darling likes feeling needed. They also were looking for someone they deemed as good natured (🫠 yeah…) and they found it within Fyodor. However Darling is very unreliable and actually went with Fyodor because he’s filled with rumors to brim like Dazai and is unconsciously searching for pieces of Dazai in anothers and immediately ignores the red flags and pledges their loyalty and support to Fyodor. They know deep down that it’s their past going to repeat itself but it feels familiar and so much like dazai. They need to feel like they won’t be thrown away and Fyodor doesn’t have as many allies or any true allies that have enough political or physical power, so maybe Fyodor will hesitate with throwing them away unlike Dazai.

(Darling is really going through it. They have abandonment and trust issues.)

Fyodor and Darling are using each other and exploiting their weakness but it's also depressing because they’re getting closer to each other than anyone else before (rip sigma). Fyodor likes the fact that Darling needs him and depends on him. He starts leaving some blindspots open because he knows Darling will cover them. There was a situation in which darling got poisoned and all hell broke loose. Darling doesn’t recall this as they were astral proejecting via poison, but they remember a “weird dream” where fyodor was nursing them back to health before an odd jester would come at night and babble about a life in “Yokohama?” 👀

Fyodor killed the og “sigma” because he was useless and cruel, someone who was unnecessary and incompetent in every manner. In return by sacrificing the soul of the crown prince, he would get “an all powerful and amazing ally that would bring anybody to their knees.”

and… he got sigma.

anyway to mister sad isekai himself!

🐟: i love love love prince sigma. seriously he'd be pretty good at it, with his dedication to his post, if not because of his general insecurities. i wonder who's really pulling the strings here, fyodor, nikolai or someone else? im really curious about nikolai's part in all this...sigma realizing he and darling are connected by fate and death and all else is insane!! makes for a great development. because now not only does his life (and return to life) depend on them, it's in his best interest to keep them by his side. seeing them work for fyodor hardly eases his mind, however, because he knows the fourth prince has something else planned, and maybe he already is aware of sigma's connection to darling...?

Crown prince sigma is one of my faves in this au. He’s very dedicated and attempts to be somewhat of a neutral party as the crown prince and avoiding conflict with his rival princes.

THEY ARE (somewhat unfortunate) SOULMATES!!! Sigma is doing his best while navigating his whole isekai life experience and is going through it x100 because the one person he loves can’t stay alive. It doesn’t help in some timelines darling manages to get hitched be it the princes or some randoms (see: ex-prince candidate and former archduke turned scholar fukuzawa, scholar apprentice ranpo, rival scholar and poet poe, investing nobleman fitzgerald, ex-prince candidate and wandering plague doctor yosano, royal detective and ex-consort candidate ayatsuji, consort candidate tsujimura, Poet and court lady Kouyou, commoner turned errand boy atsushi, that one weirdo novelist conman who disappears and makes really weird face (sigma got conned by oguri in a timeline and keeps a grudge and it grows worse when you and oguri get together), and the list keeps going on and on. darling is a popular suitor who pulls people in by their whimsical and depressing hopeful desperation for a place to belong and feel needed in.)

Sigma does keep knight darling close and he struggles with reputation since his memory grows fuzzy with each timeline that keeps happening. Is he the hated crown prince or the glorious king? Sigma doesn’t know.

Darling did ran away only once with Sigma. It was the quickest death for both because all that sigma remembers was a coat and booming laughter turned into anguish sobbing.

and now, drumming sound: about our dear jester and favorite clown man, Nikolai knows more about the time shenanigans than Fyodor. and from all the little bits and pieces i have been throwing around in here, you can already tell that Nikolai isn’t a good person in this cursed au.

He isn’t happy about it, but Nikolai personally kills knight darling in all the timelines. He won’t allow it to be done by any other hand, it has to be his own hands that take their life. so why does he kill darling? because darling is his sk darling and can’t stand a life where they’re “confined” to another.

yeah, buckle up because its gonna get weird. my brain likes making everything complicated and nonsensical.

Nikolai recalls a life where he fell in love with a serial killer. In this life, their relationship in a city, yokohama, and culture and jobs are different. He is happy and free with his beloved. He even has a dos-kun! Happy, happy, happy! He can’t recall how it happend, but sk darling dies, and then Nikolai dies. his memories blur after that. he can’t remember anything after sk reader’s death.

He’s reborn in a world where only the powerful get chosen and rule.

The original crown prince candidate that stepped down to become a mere royal jester. oh the drama! His name is forgotten, only to be linked back to a jester and few nobles who share bare minimum of similarities. The suprise he feels is all to real when he meets a baby version of prince fyodor. It hit it off like always and it all comes coming down when that prophet comes into his life.

A prophet, who only appeared in the original and first timeline because Nikolai is always careful with making sure in snapping his neck before he can arrive to the palace and utter those cursed words.

“A knight born on the day of origin of the kingdom with the past of hunter will lead the kingdom and the future king to prosperity as long they blossom by the side of their true king. the world will wither and break if the tyrant king takes the throne.”

Among the hundreds of people and millions of citizens, only one person who was found to have signed up to be knight. Among the thousands of people it could’ve been it had to be his beloved.

The look that Fyodor gave him when Nikolai fell to knees and laughed like madman is one that Nikolai will never forget — especially the confused and scared look that darling had which contrasted and rivaled the annoyed, confused, and slight murderous look that all the other princes had.

It was a bloodbath and the worst timeline. His darling was treated more like a prize than a person and watching them wither away, killed something inside him. It was awful to watch darling lose their freedom and be confined to a place to ensure they keep the prophecy into the “proper road.” lest it becomes a tragedy. They take darling’s freedom away and with it, something breaks inside their mind and something else stirs inside. something awfully familiar. However this Nikolai is kinder and even has a far better sense of “morals” as this Dos-kun comments. So, naturally he does his best to save his beloved even if it always end in futile death. People grow desprate when they’re cornered and neither darling, nor Nikolai are any different than them.

It ends with Nikolai holding you each night as you weep miserably for him to end it all. Eventually, the treatment of being seen as a prize and tool for the princes and members of the court take their toll on you, and you simply stop talking.

In another world, Nikolai committed many, many awful crimes, and who would ever say that Nikolai can’t simply do it again? nobody. And so nikolai drowns himself in red and magic that resembles his old ability.

(what nobody else but Nikolai knows in the distant future: Every time darling wakes up from their dreams, they feel less hopeful for something. they notice the way people move, speak, and sometimes they feel so vex for magic users who are simply so.. so, so, so boring! they have abilities why do aren’t being creative with them?)

It didn’t matter how hard he tried but his plans always seemed to fail even with outside help.

In the original timeline that his darling lived: the world ends with a familiar grin painted on their face, even the kindest and most patient of people grow tired and apathetic into brutality after facing so much. they dance together as the world gets destroy and Nikolai wakes up once again.

and again. again. again. againagain-

it’s rather easy for someone already toeing the line between delusions and reality to lose their minds when they’re stuck in a bizarre time loop.

Nikolai isn’t sure what is causing the time loop, but he is aware that only he is able to properly recall it. until he arrives of course.

The he bumbling, buffoon, arrogant, and downright idiotic crown prince sigma is trying his best. an anomaly is occuring and Nikolai is losing it. He tried everything. he’s killed the princes. destroyed the kingdom. cursed the kingdom. saved the kingdom. acted as the king. married his darling, and yet everyone still dies no matter what he does.

Sigma remembers too. His darling is remembering as well, but it’s different. Instead of standing by Nikolai side… darling always seems to be pulled by sigma, and that is perhaps the final straw that breaks the camel’s back.

This Sigma who almost broke and brought back some sort of relief to darling, but it wasn’t him. it wasn’t nikolai who was next you.

(why can’t they see that he’s saving from the awful imprisonment that has been placed on them? they’re so caged into a loop that doesn’t change no matter what they do. and even if does change if darling gets with sigma, Nikolai can’t and won’t accept that. it wasnt love at first sight the first life and neither in the second one, but they eventually got there, didn’t they? So in this 100000th life Nikolai will make sure the two you get the proper life you both deserve)

I’m sorry if this all confusing.

and to explain the whole drafting idea, ahhhhhh here: okay to explain just how unhinged and confusing this au became i give you the backstory that came into existence via your birthday in 2 hours and 34 minutes.

This is an unhinged au because it’s actually an sk au in disguised, and i throw you the utter nonsense this au started off with: originally an ability user got the dropped on sk reader and some of their suitors and they woke up in a hazy like dream world where they played out the storyline. This idea then spinned out of control into an isekai au with sigma dying via getting murdered by sk reader and nikolai (they were on a date) and sigma waking up in a parallel universe. It got more derailed into a sigma isekai horror plot with an omniscient nikolai who remembers all the timeline and is attempting to bring back his “darling” (see: sk reader) via terrible time loops and mind breaking them. Something about soul swaps and sacrificed people with a literal devil! Nikolai and an uncanny valley, not human, creature being reborn into prince! fyodor. It was meant for more horror and yan centric, but I also wanted more mushy and fluffy vibes (wow wasn’t fluffy through the angst??/joking) so i decided to give more redemption and background to the characters instead of having a purely outsider horror pov.

so does draft! nikolai kill darling for them to “turn” into sk darling?? yeah kinda but nikolai also loves this kinder aspect of darling so he conflicted and mourning it. and then it went into the world end and darling having to meet their proper soulmate to save the world, but nikolai doesn’t believe in soulmates but im freedom and choice.

this au spiral from the first idea into multiple different aus in a matter of minutes since i wanted to give you something fresh and new instead of any of my backlog stories or unfinished wips for your birthday. It literally got out of control and I had to revise and rewrite until I found it worthy enough to get sent out as a present for you.

None of my ideas are though out. i think about i once and write before putting it in my notes and never checking about it in months. I think you’re far better about this than me. most of my things are wips. we’re both doing our best and wishing you luck and happy days to come!

my brain is a little hamster ball that spins and ends up everywhere and anywhere.

I’m so so sorry Tuna about me rambling in the ask box. I just had a really wacky and fun time writing this concept for you - 🦄 (Tumblr pls don’t nerf this)

you know the first time i tried answering this my laptop crashed and because of that i will be trying to keep this reply concise TT i think it may be the size that it couldn't handle </3

quickly before we start. i need to take a moment and say Wow because this is 3k words in an askbox and if that number isn't surreal i think the fact that you took almost 3 hours for the original ask is?!?! absolutely insane. that is an astounding amount of dedication and i suddenly feel a little shy and i wish words could encapsulate how much joy this brought me. (after all, i am a reader before a writer, and who doesn't enjoy getting to see such wonderful ideas?) so much respect to you and thank you so so much, really. it's amazing to see what you have and i'm really so honored to be able to see and respond to it like this :)

fyodor lore...i think regressor fyodor may work, in which case i believe he will be the first to realize that he's not the only one who remembers his past lives. maybe this could work into why he's so involved with sigma and darling, despite them not having any reason to be connected w each other. it must be irritating to know that both sigma and darling play a role in his plans, because they become an unpredictable variable now. sigma, at least, remembers a lot of his deaths and lives, so the only way fyodor can rein him in is by keeping a close eye on him.

darling is an anomaly, though, since they don't appear to remember more than the first life with dazai. based on sigma's Many deaths, I'd suppose there are more where darling has experienced, but can't remember, for some reason or another. i'm inclined to believe a certain prince with an affinity for magic may have something to do with that, or perhaps it's the new court jester whose gaze doesn't seem to leave darling...except, that's not even their first life, is it? they've probably lived a hundred more without knowing. which is crazy...

i like to think there was a life where darling stayed by fyodor's side forever, but even as he achieved his plans and became king, there's nothing that changes. he just wakes up to see darling in their ordinary uniform with their ordinary weapon, and no sign of the sword he gave them, but the hope that he could win them over again is all he needs to try again. maybe the memories linger, and sometimes darling walks past fyodor's room only to suddenly remember a time when they were knelt by fyodor's bedside and huh? when did that happen?

the cursed aku thing reminded me of the minotaur story </3 poor aku i'll save you </3 (adds him to the list of Characters I Will Save)

chuuya's curse is...interesting. i doubt he'd be able to live long with a curse like his, because how does he know it only kills a lover he has? what if he believed it may kill anyone by his side? so, if there's any one who doesn't die, he might begin to believe that they aren't entirely loyal to him, hence why they weren't dead yet. eventually the loneliness and paranoia gets to him and he's just destined for a tragic end either way. the greatest mercy for him is a death before he learns the true extent of his curse. but chuuya is really clever, so i guess it's inevitable that he does realize what his curse is. either way, it's a miserable existence. :(

because fyodor easily views everyone else as pawns, i don't think he'll be so upset at the idea of darling using him to satisfy whatever feelings they have. maybe they hope to learn why dazai betrayed them by working with fyodor, if only to satiate their own curiosity. it doesn't matter, anyway, because fyodor ensures that once darling takes the pledge to put fyodor's life before theirs, they would only have eyes for him.

(and… he got sigma. i'm crying about this line. come on fyodor, it doesn't get better than sigma :>)

omg...sigma...all his lives are angst-coded. him having to watch his literal soulmate fall in love with some less than favorable people (but it's worse when darling falls for the actual good ones, the ones he knows will keep darling happy. it hurts because he knows he can never give darling that content lifetime with no worries about crazy jesters and cunning princes). at the very least, he hopes to break the curse so at least one of you could be happy.

ultimately his role has always been for another; a replacement for the previous crown prince, a pawn for fyodor, and now, he exists as darling's counterpart in this strange revival/death thing, but he doesn't really mind when it concerns them. for once, he plays the role of the protector, of the one in charge, and they aren't privy to his plans. and he knows his intentions are pure, his role in their life will always be of their own benefactor. he's the one who makes sure they don't go hungry in the lives they're imprisoned or banished, and he's the one who ensures darling and their partner live well in the lives they leave the palace. he's the one who stops them from getting too close to chuuya, and tries to ward off fyodor's watchful gaze (unaware of his knowledge), and desperately attempts to keep nikolai away. but after all this, he cannot ask them to pledge their life to him, not after knowing the cruel end darling will face by doing so.

this nikolai twist is Insane. Like woahhh where do i go from here?!

i think nikolai carries a lot of resentment at himself (and the world) because of how his life w sk darling ended. why didn't he save them? why did he end up here? how did things turn out this way? and he's more infuriated that the once free and unreadable soul, bloodstained and calculating, that lured him in and trapped him all those years ago became...this other person, this foolish, compassionate knight of all things. it's quite ironic. darling still kills now, but not because they can, not because they want to, only because they have to for whichever pathetic prince they've decided to serve.

and it's horrible because here, darling has never done anything to warrant such a cruel fate, but they've been subjected to a painful life as long as the stupid prophecy exists. he wonders, bitterly, if this is their past catching up with them, punishment for a crime they don't even remember committing.

but as the lives turn by and everyone takes notice of darling, nikolai finds himself starting to learn more about them, too. he learns that their eyes burn with the same silent fury when anything irritates them, that their lips curl in the same way when they notice something amusing, and that they're still just as dedicated to their work, whether it be murder or serving a prince. and i think. nikolai feels some guilt for starting to like knight darling, who's more compassionate/warm than the original sk reader. maybe he feels like he's betraying them by doing so, because he may have 'reverted' back to his 'original' state, but darling is entirely different where it matters. this darling doesn't understand his ideas and thoughts, they would never approve of his crimes, and worst of all, they don't even care for him.

not once in their many lives did they spare him more than a single glance, except when he killed them to reset the timeline. and each time, they looked at him like they didn't understand, like they couldn't recognize him. but when sigma came in and started helping, darling recalled those moments. even when serving fyodor, they seemed to remember their past. but not with nikolai.

he's not sure what's worse; falling for someone who will never understand him, or having someone not even remember a single moment after spending thousands of lives together.

[duchessofostergotlands]

just listened to the pod and although i agree the william doesn’t HATE women’s football, a lot of your arguments relied on “whataboutism”…. like sure the late queen or charles didn’t go to support their patron sports team, or the prime minister didn’t go either, but that doesn’t absolve william. you downplay the importance of his attendance but also stated he’s the reason you even know about some female players. but anyway, i also think he should definitely step down from the FA presidency - it involves too much passion for a “neutral” figure head

I can understand why you've interpreted it that way - to the point where I already had most of this answer prepared in my drafts - but it's inaccurate. I can only speak for the things I said in that episode so if you have a problem with something Grace said you can talk to her (she'd be happy to argue with you and tbh I think it's pretty telling about your view that you chose me to message and not Grace...) but that segment of the episode has two parts:

Why I don't think it's a big deal William didn't go and

Why I'm upset by the general narrative from the public and press

There were only two reasons I didn't think it was a big deal that William didn't go. I can show you my notes if you refuse to believe me.

The work he does for the England WNT and the men's national team is not drastically different now. It's not the same situation as it was in 2022 when William had done absolutely fuck all for women's sport and we both criticised him extensively. The players themselves have spoken repeatedly about the support and engagement they feel from him and

It's Australia. It's 10,000 fucking miles away. Spending tax payer money (from all four nations of the UK) to send a leader in climate change to Australia for what is effectively 5 minutes of work celebrating England is frankly absurd and I genuinely cannot fathom why anyone ever thought he'd go. Especially as it risks inflaming tensions given no one has been to Australia since the change of reign. If you listen back - I don't know, maybe you skipped over this bit, maybe you chose to disregard it - I clearly state that the problem wasn't that William didn't go to Australia it was that he didn't prepare for the fact he wasn't going to Australia. We both stated that he should have done more to support the team but he should have done it from home.

So if you can tell me where the whataboutism is there that would be grand as those were the only two arguments I made.

The rest was about the general narrative - as I said in the episode - and has no impact on my standpoint on William's decision in any way. It wasn't about William at all from my perspective, and what I said was entirely about the undercurrent of bigotry in the criticism of William. I am a Scottish woman and I don't think it's wrong that I find it upsetting when people believe English women matter more than anyone else. See the disparity in the reaction to William not going to Australia vs the reaction when Welsh people spoke about his lack of support for their team. At least he actually wanted the English women to win!! Whether you care or not, it is a problem that William got crucified for not going to Australia, and yet Welsh or Scottish people (and tons of other groups) get crucified for just politely asking for him not to want us to lose. In the course of a conversation about football and the public reaction to inequality in William's support, it is natural that a Scottish woman would mention the fact that the public and the press have shown nothing but bigotry towards us for the entire 17 years William has been President of the FA. It's natural that I would mention that even if William's support for the English women's team could be better, the public and the press treat the English women's team a million times better than they treat the Scottish or Welsh or Australian women's teams. If now isn't a good time to discuss it because it's "whataboutism" but every other day of the year is also not a good time to discuss it because it'll lead to a public hate campaign by the press and the public, when exactly is the right time?

So I don't consider it whataboutism because I was not saying that William's choice was any better or worse as a result of my point. I consider it a related conversation about my personal issues with the fact that people are claiming on social media to be holier than thou because of their standpoint in this while at best deliberately ignoring and at worst actively celebrating other, worse, forms of inequality. If you consider that whataboutism I truly don't care, because I'm right.

[lostcitysystem]

Man it’s been a hell of a week.

Found out on Tuesday that I will no longer be homeless!! I have a place to live!! I’m so excited and I genuinely can’t believe the journey this has been.

As a vulnerable person living in the UK, living off of what little money the government decides to give me, I (stupidly) assumed that it wouldn’t be too hard to find a place to live. Since June of last year I have sent off at least two applications a day for viewings and contacted landlords that live more than two hours outside of my city. That’s around 420 applications (minimum) that I have sent just to get the most basic housing. That might not sound like a lot and some people may think I’m just whining because housing is hard to come by these days and everyone is struggling. I have had two viewings in that time. Two. Out of four hundred and twenty. One of which was the flat I’m moving into soon. The call with the landlord/estate agent would be completely normal and fine, they’re happy in fact to have applicants for a place that has visible black mould in the photos. And then it would get to the stage where they ask about my finances. I state I’m not in debt and that I’m going to be paying with government benefits (which fully cover rent and bills and other expenses). Complete silence, until they ultimately tell me that they can’t accept that as a form of payment or the flat has gone to someone else (but when you check, the place is still on the website, just sitting there).

I cannot describe the pit that would form in my stomach every time I had to tell an estate agent that I’m on benefits. The shame and sadness I felt every single day, at least twice a day. The consensus it seems across the UK is that people on benefits are just scam artists who make it so that the working man has to pay for them to live a life of luxury. What luxury do I have? Sleeping on the floor at my friend’s house for seven months, feeling like the worst person on earth but there’s nothing I can do because no one will accept my ‘form of payment’. What are people in my position genuinely supposed to do? I can’t work, at all, not even charity work or part time. I can barely leave my bed most days because I’m so depressed and psychotic. “Oh but you could work from home”. I can’t even focus on a screen for more than an hour because I’m so unwell. “Oh but it’s illegal for them to deny you a place to live just because you’re on benefits”. Do you genuinely think that stops them? “You could stay with family”. What family? The ones who abused me until the age of 18?

I’m sorry this is such a rant but I’m so sick of this perception of people on benefits living the good life and taking it easy. It’s hell. I wish I could work. I wish I could wake up in the morning, get up and go somewhere. But I can’t. My doctors say I can’t. Three psychiatrists have said the same. But I’m the problem with society right now. I’m bringing down the economy and making it so hard for everyone.

This will probably stay in my drafts but I just can’t keep it in anymore.

[khaire-traveler]

please go off about the Zeus hate in the wider community some time because I would love to have this conversation

Oh gods, I'm not sure if you know what you're asking for lol. I could go on for a long time about it, for a variety of reasons.

(I can't add a cut because this is so far down in my drafts that I don't think I'll be able to find it again, even if I tried, so for those uninterested, I just recommend scrolling past this. I'm sorry. 💀)

***TW: MENTIONS OF SA, R*PE, AB*SE, AND OTHER SENSITIVE TOPICS***

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Where to even begin? There are so many faults and flaws within the argument that Zeus is just generally a "bad person". That's the argument I see most often, anyway.

I guess to start, I'll just get right into the controversial stuff: Zeus and sexual assault/rape. I'll start with me personal experience, as an assault and sexual abuse survivor. I can guarantee you that if I felt Zeus was a r*pist or an assaulter, I would not be worshipping him, personally. It would make me wildly uncomfortable, and I feel like it would seriously taint my view of him. So, when people claim that Zeus is a r*pist, or otherwise, I think it's important to acknowledge that you are talking about mythology. Just as the Christian Bible has been heavily influenced by the opinions and thoughts of its writers, Greek mythology works similarly. The surviving stories that was have were written by people who lived in a VERY different society than our modern one. Not only is mythos not meant to be taken literally (unlike Christianity, which is very mythos literal, most of the time), but Greek myths were often very metaphorical or served the main purpose of explaining an natural phenomena. It was also heavily influenced by the culture, at the time, so to understand why so many Greek myths discuss sexual assault, r*pe, and the like, you really need to take a hardcore look at the culture behind the myths. In not doing so, you make yourself look like an uneducated fool, honestly.

And I don't know how many times this had to be fucking said, but the gods are not their myths. Instead of making all these assumptions about them, maybe just, I don't know, talk to them yourself? Maybe do your own research into the behind the scenes of the stories they were featured in? Maybe stop taking mythos so damn literally? Like, even at the time, there has been some talk of historians believing that the ancient Greeks themselves didn't take mythos literally and interpreted the stories more as lessons to be learned. It's kind of obvious that many of these very impossible stories are most likely not what literally happened and are more metaphorical or sometimes even entertaining. The idea of mythic literalism feels like something that is very Christian - although I could be wrong, so do not take my opinion at face value - and frankly, Hellenic religion is not Christianity, it came before Christianity. Taking these myths of Zeus and interpreting them so literally does nothing but harm you as a worshipper and hinder your growth as a Polytheist, in my opinion. Plus, it makes you look bad. Why shit on an entire pantheon of gods? It's just dumb and disrespectful, even outside of mythic literalism stuff.

Another thing: cancel culture is heavily influencing this Zeus debate, in my opinion. People feel the need to "cancel" thousand year old deities who stem from cultures that were vastly different from ours - like, do they not realize how they sound? First of all, that shit was from thousands of years ago; do you not think that the gods have changed since then? Do you not think that they adapt to human culture as it grows and changes? Like, what? Second of all, cancelling gods from a literal ancient civilization is just plain ridiculous and very ahistorical, in my opinion. For real, I cannot stress enough that ancient Greece has a vastly different culture from our own. Shit was genuinely VERY different back then, and topics we now recognize as fucked up we're not recognized as such, back then. And there is nothing you, or anyone else can do, to go back in time and magically change the ancient Greek culture as a whole, so what's even the point of "calling out" this supposed behavior of Zeus? What's the point if he is very different now and interacts very differently with humans? What's the point if you are pulling your "evidence" from stories meant to be largely fictional? Like??? What exactly do you hope to accomplish by shitting on the King of the Gods in modern times with a very different cultural viewpoint? Tell me what you're hoping to achieve. Tell me why you're projecting all of this hatred towards Zeus, a literal fucking GOD, about fictional stories. Go ahead, I'm curious.

Along with all that, it's SO important to consider how Zeus was viewed in ancient times. It's not as though people saw him as a playboy and were like, "Ew, don't worship that god, he's doing all these bad things, blah blah blah." No, Zeus was actually HIGHLY respected. He was considered the King of the Gods, King of Olympus. He was worshipped for SO many different aspects of his and was extremely popular. He represented all kings, in a way, and was on top of everyone, in regards to hierarchical status. He was literally even considered to be the most powerful of all the gods, even instilling fear into the other gods with how strong he was! Like, Zeus wasn't someone to fuck around with or to criticize. I cannot emphasize enough how wildly disrespectful it is to call him shit like a r*pist (again, based on fucking fictional stories, y'all) - this literal King of Kings and God of All. He is ZEUS. He's not some celebrity that got into a scandal and deserves to be called out for their shitty actions. He is fucking ZEUS, people.

Honestly, my anger is very muted, on this topic. I have a lot of just "I'm so done with this debate" energy. Like, personally, I don't know how Zeus can be so patient with these people, especially after such a long time of them bashing him publicly for no good reason, treating him as though he's some celebrity or something that needs to learn his lesson. Human morality cannot be applied to non-human gods. It just can't. That's simply not how it works. They are not human, and I feel like it's very easy for people to forget that, especially when it comes to debates like these. Zeus - not a human, Apollo - not a human, Hermes - not a human. They are gods. Literal gods. Maybe instead of shitting on gods due to their mythical stories people should be focusing on the humans in today's world that are chasing actual harm - current harm, even. Because frankly, there are more important things to focus on.

I literally love Zeus. He is a fantastic god who literally helped me escape from a wildly abusive person. He is the reason I got out of that situation unharmed spiritually. Zeus is not some cruel god who doesn't give a shit about how other people feel. He is a kind, considerate, and thoughtful leader who holds much wisdom and knowledge from his thousands upon thousands of years reigning as King of the Gods and Olympus. He is not indifferent or disrespectful. He is not cocky or rude. And even with the flaws he may have (since everyone makes mistakes), he is still a god who deserves worship, praise, and acknowledgement for his great deeds. There is SO much Zeus does for humanity, outside of just lightning bolts and weather, and I'm just so exhausted from people who refuse to acknowledge that. Zeus is a damn blessing. He is a fucking King. He deserves respect.

That's all I've got to say for now. I'm not much of an angry person, so it takes a lot of energy for me to be mad about something. Thank you for letting me rant. May Zeus be with you, if you so wish. 💜⚡

[deep-space-lines]

Have you ever wanted to draw something but you fought due to your skill level at the time you decide not to do it

Honestly I don't think there's been a time in my life where I haven't experienced this. There's a file on my ipad I've had on the backburner for like probably over 4 years now; there's a really clear image in my head of a poster showing the detailed anatomy of an astronaut from the perspective of aliens who believe the spacesuit to be part of its body, and every time I come back to it, I keep saying I'll do it later because I just can't pull it off yet :') so yeah the struggle is real

That being said, I've personally found that apart from just 'don't draw it and let it haunt you for years until your confidence improves', there's two solutions that work for me

1: Just draw it the best you're able now, with the knowledge that it might suck (in your eyes) but there's no rule that says you can't come back and re-draw it a few months or years down the line once you've learned more, if you still want to. It can be super frustrating if you have a really concrete awesome image in your head that you know you can't execute the way you'd like, but treating it more like a rough draft than something that has to be perfect the first time around can help get around this. Genuinely I think about this post all the time now, I think it rewired my brain chemistry as an artist. Just accept it'll look bad, who give a shit!!!! If you draw the rough draft now, it'll either turn out better than you expected, or you'll figure out what you struggled with for next time. Either way you'll at least temporarily get The Image out of your head and satiate the Art Beast.

Which leads into...

2: Figure out if there's a specific aspect of the Thing that intimidates you the most and put some time into low-stakes practice with the skill that's blocking you. Usually it's gonna be something like perspective, anatomy, rendering/painting, struggling with dynamic poses, etc.

Starting a completely new skill from scratch sounds intimidating, but you're not starting from scratch, and if you sit yourself down and give it some dedicated practice, you WILL see improvement within the same day. Keep it up for a week or a month and you'll have learned a lot. If it's dynamic perspective, tell yourself "ok I am GOING to learn how to draw with perspective" and mess around with references, look up tutorials, draw other art pieces with perspective until you feel like you have a somewhat decent grasp of it. If it's anatomy or dynamic poses: (once again, cannot stress enough) use references. Trace and then copy references until you get a feel for the shapes (AdorkaStock is really good), practice figure drawing (Quickposes, Line of Action), watch Proko because they have really good videos on these things (1) (2) (3).

'Practice makes perfect' is simultaneously very correct and very unhelpful advice, but if you've got a good grasp of the fundamentals of art, picking up specific, individual skills to a 'good enough' level is not nearly as time-consuming and frustrating as trying to just get better at 'art' as a whole. It can be really good motivation tbh (at least for me), to have an image of something I want to create and telling myself "I am going to intentionally practice [indoor environments]/[perspective]/[faces]/[painting with unrealistic colors]/[insert specific skill] for a few weeks until I feel confident enough to draw this thing".

anyway sorry that was so long. idk if this is any help, just my personal experience

[whoops11]

I think i chose the wrong wording my fault. I mean for azzi for have her own light if that makes sense. We can all say that all eyes will be on Paige this year. We all say how much azzi is in Paige’s shadow or at least I feel like she is. Granted she is in recovery what can she really do but I feel like she has always been in her shadow. In units there is always one that outshines another in this case Paige outshines azzi. I would just love her to prosper herself as an individual first not seen as an extension I love the p and a unit they work well together. But we cannot or at least can’t deny that everyone is in Paige’s shadow on the UConn team. I’m not blaming Paige for that tho It makes sense , her fame has increased and of course the #1 draft pick will be talked about the most . Granted all the stuff I could be saying could hold no value because maybe azzi doesn’t want any of that. It’s just my personal opinion.

i personally dislike the idea that azzi is stuck in paige’s shadow but i get it paige is basically the face of the team. i think that’s partially why she’s so hesitant to take over games because she wants everyone involved as much as possible. also along with being an amazing player, paige is very visible. she’s active on social media, outgoing, likes going to events and meeting people etc. azzi may not be that way. she might prefer the privacy and being selective on events that she goes to.

however i believe azzi has potential to shine while playing on the team with paige. i genuinely do think they complement each other’s game but there are external influences that sometimes hinders them being viewed as individuals.

like you said at the end of the day we don’t really know what she wants or what she really cares about fr. whether she stays another season at uconn or plays in the W she’ll be recognized as her own person more.

[1d1195]

Hi Sam my love!! I know I’ve been gone for a bit but for once life has been super busy! I’ll explain later obviously lol (also I fear this will also be a part one of two ask lol)

Bestie when I tell you I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW YOU MENTIONED AUDIO PORN BAHAHAHHAHA OMG absolutely obsessed with how your train of thought led you to that 😂

It’s probably just the blindness speaking tbh! Idk all I know is if given a chance even with a mullet I WOULD TAKE IT HAHAH plus I can’t say shit when I literally have a fuck ass bob rn soooo yeah HAHAH and omg look we all have different hair types and routines so honestly if it works for you and you like it then that’s all that matters lol plus finding the proper hair care/routine is TOUGH bc scalp stuff is involved and like hair types too lol plus i TOTALLY feel you about the hair washing aspect! My hair luckily doesn’t get greasy if I don’t wash it BUT I simply will not feel good or “clean” if I don’t wash it lol

SAM WDYM WE ALREADY MET THE HARRY WITH THE BREEDING KINK?!? BESTIE?!?😭😭😭😭 you have no idea the way my mind is RACING to figure out who!!! Like realistically I think all of them lowkey would bc they are obsessed with their MC BUT I feel like some just radiate that vibe more than others if that makes sense lol

Oh I’ve tired the Quinn app and the Dipsea app and cannot lie I was pleasantly surprised!! (Btw there’s nothing wrong with indulging in that too!) and the plots are honestly so good?!? Like I had low expectations the first time I tired it but these plots kinda go crazy in a good way lol love that these audios have inspired you!

I genuinely believe any route you would have taken you would genuinely be so good at it!! Given like your strong work ethic and the way you do get things done, i wouldn’t be surprised if you thrived in it! You’re teaching AP calculus this year right(I’m so sorry if it’s wrong 😭) so anything AP is kinda hell in general so the fact that you aren’t too exhausted from teaching is good at least! I’m glad this year’s group isn’t too bad and HOPEFULLY it will stay that way!!! I’m always sending you the best vibes and I hope things will stay pretty calm for the rest of the school year💗

The shimmery dress is a bit out of comfort zone but the fabric is just so top tier and it was a STEAL for the price so I’m super excited! Awww Sam you have no idea the smile I had on my face while reading this!!! THIS IS BIG!! It makes me so happy that you’re finding your vibe and style!!! It’s so nice and fun to find things you actually like to wear and feel good about it! And the fact your students notice it like thats so adorable! Especially since kids are super honest sometimes so I don’t think they are fucking with you lol and honestly some people just are so naturally good with their own personal style and they are so lucky!

Truly loved that spin you did for Sunflower! Thought it was really cute!! Also the way I’m not even surprised that you have all these drafts outlined/planned lol like it’s very you thing to do and I mean this in the nicest way possible way! I love that about you bc I wish I could be that organized!

I support any check in tbh! Like you know I’m basically a Stan for all of them it’s crazy lol I typically have so many questions and not because you don’t do a good job or anything! I’m just a curious person lol miscommunication tropes are always so painful but I’m a good way!! But honestly idk why angst always comes to mind for certain couples lol

ALSO BESTIE WHAT ABOUT THE MADE TO BE COUPLE?!?? I saw someone get hit with a baseball(don’t worry they’re fine lol) and it reminded me of them!! And I kinda miss them like how’s their life now? Did the delivery go okay? How’s life changed with the baby?! Any insecurities popping up about being good parents???? Anyways maybe it’s time for a re-read lol

Hopefully October can be manageable at least! So please don’t feel pressure to post anything if you simply can’t do it! -💜

I would sell my soul for mullet Harry. I would probably shave it off once present but still. I would sell my sould.

HEHEHEHEHE You're honestly so right about the breeding kink 😭 they probs all have one. This one I've mentioned before and I think you've commented on but I like the idea of it being a surprise kinda? I'm sure it'll be obvious once I write it.

I haven't heard of Dipsea. Seems like it would be up my alley though... 🤭 Totally nothing wrong with it. It's hot af but I think it's funny I like the plot more than sex part of things (naturally) 😂 y'all get smut from me like once a month and it almost always coincides with I'm ovulating 💀 whoops. OH WELL at least I'll stay inspired long after everyone is done hearing about Harry (which I hope is never).

AP Calc is new to me this year and AP Stats as well (old news though, this is my fourth year). I am LOVING AP Stats because now I know what I'm doing, but Calc is really throwing me for a loop. I love Calculus (nerd alert, I know) so I want to be good at teaching it. I'll get there I'm sure :)

I bet the shimmery dress is going to look stunning on you! Getting it for a steal is also almost better than the dress itself. I think I've always had a very basic style but I like colors and flowers so it's fun to play with a little. You're right about the honesty. My kids tell me all the time I look tired and I'm like "ten out of fourteen of you have asked me to go to the bathroom in the last fifteen minutes and I haven't been able to ask what (x + 4, y - 2) means without being interrupted; of COURSE I'm tired." I'm a lucky teacher, my students seem to genuinely enjoy my presence. If one of them tells me I look "bad" it would be like if a friend told me I had food stuck in my teeth 😂

If I don't right my idea down it's *poof* bye and then y'all will have to wait ten to fifteen business days for it to reappear.

Angst is really fun to write tbh. Gets the plot moving. My next check in is super mushy. Like 0% angst and it's so cute, like I thoroughly enjoyed it but obviously without angst we don't have a storyline.

You know I had an idea for them the other day! Maybe I'll have to revisit them. I had a fun little idea unrelated to yours so maybe now I'll have two (heading to my drafts to write it down before I forget!) I also have another teacherry idea as well. Gotta write that down too!

Hopefully 🤞

See you in part 2!

xoxo

[a-curious-little-thing]

Good morning/afternoon/evening/night (???) @worth-beyond-a-number-scale !

Genuine question. Not a callout post, or anything negative, I am literally just... genuinely curious and want to ask, but it's been two months of me trying to figure out how I'm even gonna go about this without coming across as rude so I'm just gonna try giving it a go now and hope for the best.

In this post, you said that "95% of all weight loss attempts fail, which is an actual statistic from decades of studies and not an exaggeration." I did some looking, found the site you were quoting from a different post and read it. The site you linked specifically was just one paragraph from a longer article, so I read that too. They all mention the 95% thing.

But then I visit this website (yes, I know it has nutrition in the name, I didn't realize that until just now, I'm sorry if that was a poor move on my part!) which states:

I included the "there are some people who believe that intentional weight loss is not only... [rest of it]" bit because from how you talk about it, when i read that part it really did feel like something similar to what you've said before.

Again, i cannot stress enough just how much I'm not trying to be confrontational, or call you out, or just anything like I'm implying you're wrong. I really don't want to argue. I just want to know why you hold the opinion you do, and to understand it and evaluate my own opinion and see if I need to reflect.

I tried writing a draft to this like two months ago, and I read the New York Times article then, but when I tried reading it just now it said that I need to pay a subscription. By frantically refreshing the page and highlighting as much text as possible and hitting ctrl+c, I was able to copy the entire article into my google docs! (i'm only including this bit because imo this is really the only important part of the article, the rest is just diet stuff related... :/

The whole article does do a lot of framing weight-loss as the goal of everything, which does admittedly drag my point down a bit. (I would've personally preferred a much more neutral telling, imo) But, my point is, Dr. Stunkard has stated he no longer supports his study, though it has become so widespread at this point a lot of people treat it as fact.

You also say that there's been years of research behind the 95% study, but I will be honest. I couldn't find them. It could've been that I just wasn't using the right keywords, or I skimmed them by accident, or my inability to find the right articles when doing research has struck once again, but either way I couldn't find anything besides a handful of articles supporting this study and the rest quoting this NY article.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'm confused. I don't want to seem like I'm publicly calling you out or I'm accusing you of lying or anything like that. But I don't know how else to get your attention (asks closed, you said you haven't really been looking at your messages, reblogging your posts would just... get very cluttery after a certain point) and doing this seems like it'll be my best chance. I've also been mulling over this in my head since December and it's starting to bother me. Even if you could just link me more articles that support your opinion and have verifiable research behind them besides Dr. Stunkard's study (what i mean is, any other study about this that wasnt done by him) that would be great, and if I'm still confused then I'll ask more questions. Politely. If you're alright with that.

I don't know how to end this post. I hope your day has been well? I hope I didn't say anything rude or offensive, if I did please correct me. Have a good day/night.

[boldlyvoid]

Million Dollar Man | chapter two

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, drinking mention, lowkey perv!Spencer, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), grinding, love confessions, arrangements, Spencers anxiety, (more to add)

word count: 3.4K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and saturdays at 2 pm est

Chapter Two | Masterlist

She sat on the subway with an anxious pit in her stomach and her purse held close to her chest. Her laptop in her bag, she didn’t want to lose it on her way to the most important meeting of her whole life.

Her story was becoming a book, she was almost done the final draft, they were making touch-ups to the cover and picking the type of paper today.

Her dreams were coming true within the next month, soon she’d have a physical copy of her book, her pre-sales were showing that she’d be on the bestseller list, and her name was finally going to be on the cover of this one.

She sighed and reached for her necklace, holding it between her fingers as she took a few deep breaths. She was doing so much better today than she was last year and it was all because of Spencer, he was the best thing to happen to her. To think she complimented his sweater vest and now he’s the only person in her life she can count on.

All she can think about is him for the rest of her journey, through 4 more stops she keeps her eyes closed as she thinks of all his little facts and his cute laugh. She smiles to herself and the anxiety slips away, she loves him and she knows that for sure, but she just doesn’t know how she loves him.

She’s never had a sibling, her best friends are all women, her previous boyfriends were all shit and her other sugar daddies were never this wonderful, and her parents are lesbians… she doesn’t know what her feelings really are for Spencer, mainly because she’s never known any other men to compare him to.

But she does know the exact moment she realized she fell for him.

He booked a hotel room in DC after a local case, asking her to meet him in there at 10 pm. She was waiting in the bathtub when he arrived, bubbles galore, her hair up and arms open, “welcome home, honey.”

He laughs, “you want me to get in there with you?”

She just nods, “let me take care of you, daddy?”

He takes off his blazer, pulls his tie off and starts to unbutton his shirt. She watches patiently as he gets undressed, and it’s not sexual to her. He’s her person, her best friend, the only human being she would ever share a moment like this with and that’s when it hits her.

She doesn’t accept it just yet.

It’s not until he’s lying on her chest, between her legs, cheek resting on her boobs as she runs a sponge over his back while he gives her a little run down on his terrible week. His co-worker almost died, his mom is stressing him out, the only good thing he has left is her and she knows that.

“And then I get to my moms facility and she’s had a really good day, she knows me and she knows all of my childhood again and she’s all right there in front of me and yet she’s so far away. I’m never going to get all the time I want with her and it’s really hard to accept.”

He shares things with her that he doesn’t even tell his therapist. Because his therapist doesn’t hold him like a child against her chest and tell him he’s okay when he get’s upset.

Y/N loves him, so she kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry, I have 2 moms if you’d like to have one?”

“It’s okay, I would love to meet them sometime though,” he wraps his arms around her waist a little tighter under the water. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Did I mention my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe?” She asks in the middle of the silence, quoting pretty woman, knowing he hasn’t seen that far into the movie yet. “So basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy for the bargain price of $800 dollars a week.”

Her legs wrap around him and their naked bodies are closer than they’ve ever been and yet it’s completely platonic, “I’d spend a million dollars on you if it always meant feeling this good after.”

She runs her cheek along his wet hair as he snuggles into her neck, “mmm, I like the sound of that,” she teased. “My million dollar man.”

Her stop rolls around and she pulls herself out of her day dreams to get off the train and head to her meeting. She smiles as she walks through the station, up the stairs and onto the busy downtown streets when she gets a text with Spencers special chime. She opens it when she gets to where she’s going, safely inside and in the waiting room.

It makes her laugh in the waiting room. People look at her but she doesn’t care, he’s so special to her she feels butterflies in her stomach even when he’s not around.

“Y/N!” She hears her name being called by her editor, he’s over ecstatic as he comes running out to get her. “Come, come we have so many choices to make!” He jumps up and down as he holds her arm, like a child in a candy store.

“Andy, chill man,” she laughs at him and plays it cool, “It’s just the cover being finalized.”

“It’s our baby!” He teases back, pushing his glasses up and tugging her behind the glass doors of the office.

She’s surrounded by people and paper and huge versions of her book cover. She has a sharpie as she fixed mistakes and jots down final ideas. “And I wan’t Phil to look more human and less like data from Star Trek?”

“But Dorothy looks okay?” The artist asks, nervously and Y/N can tell.

“She looks beautiful! You really brought her justice,” she smiles, “really she looks the same in my head! It’s just Phil and I’m sure it’s tough getting a drawing to look like a robotic human, let alone human.”

“I have some ideas?” She opens up more, taking her iPad out and sliding it across the table, “I wanted to give him more of a Sophia feel? His face is silicone but his joints and everything are more like an Elon Musk crash dummy.”

“That’s perfect!” She’s shocked, “why didn’t that go in the first draft?”

“I was worried it was too much,” she’s a little older than Y/N, and yet her anxiety is that of a teenage girl. “I’m going to get working on the final, do you want some emailed versions tonight?”

“Yes please,” she smiles.

“So we’re done?” Andy asks, “we’ve made all our final calls?”

“I believe we have,” Y/N closes her laptop and takes her phone out, taking a photo of the final rough sketch of her book cover on the table to send to Spencer before he comes to pick her up. She can’t wait to see him now.

—

They’re sitting side by side in matching spa robes, he’s getting a pedicure while she gets her nails done. Leaning back in her chair with a face mask and cucumbers on her eyes, she’s never felt more relaxed in her life. And just in time too, her back was killing her from writing, her knuckles hurt and she just needed a break.

Spencer did too, he was genuinely not having a good time at work anymore, every case made him spiral and he always looked to Y/N on days like that. They met more than once a week now, she got $800 every Friday and she didn’t even really need it anymore. He was coving for so much of her bills and lively hood that her savings account was growing and growing because of him.

For the first time in her life she thought she would be okay if a man left her. As terrible as it was, as much as her moms tried to raise her differently, she fell down the daddy issues rabbit hole and she’s never going to find her way out— however, luckily for her, Spencer is down here too, and he brought a flashlight.

He understands her, more than anyone else on earth. He knows all her secrets, every crush and bad grade and snide remark she’s ever kept to herself. He didn’t judge her, he could actually listen to her issues and tell her why she had them. He gave better advice than a therapist and he was able to get information for her if he didn’t know the answer to what she was going through.

He’s absolutely everything to her and yet he’s 14 years older than her, he’s still traumatized beyond belief, he’s sad and ashamed and recovering… but he’s the best man in the whole world and she wishes he could see that. If he just looked at himself from her eyes, if he felt how she did in her soul when they were together, he’d love himself.

They’re too relaxed to drive home, and Spencer knew that would happen beforehand, bringing her a change of clothes (lingerie) and that robe me mentioned. He books a hotel above the spa and takes her to it. Arms linked as they enter the suite, she’s amazed to find more than one gift bag on the bed.

“How many gifts is this now?”

“We’re at 5 out of 24.”

She laughs as she wraps her arms around him in a thank you hug, “this is what you consider 4 gifts? Spencer there are like 8 things on the bed, let alone the massage and manicure?”

“If you think this is too much I guess you’re going to get really mad next week,” he teases as she looks up at him with a surprised look on her face.

“Spencer, I am so busy next week, I cannot be galavanting around with my sugar daddy,” she tries to act like she doesn’t want to go on an adventure with him again.

The last trip they took was the best week of her life. They went to all the historical sites in the UK that she and Spencer had talked about. Mainly old churches and castles, strange poets graves, random art and most importantly; stone henge. It was a trip of a lifetime and he took it with her.

“I watched the rest of Pretty Woman the other day,” he smiles, “and I thought I’d pull an Edward Lewis and really surprise you because you deserve it.”

“You know how the movie ends, right?” Her heart beats really fast in her chest and she wants him to love her so bad but it’s also terrifying now that she’s this close.

“He lets her choose,” he whispers.

“He rescues her,” she corrects him.

“And she rescues him right back,” he really did watch the end of the movie.

It makes her heart skip a beat as she swallows sharply, “what does this mean for us?”

“I have a whole plan, a whole sequence of events I want to stick to. I wanted to make you fall in love with me this week and ask you on your birthday, can we still do that?” He pleads with her, he’s so serious. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into this.

“Absolutely,” she smiles, “but if you’re going to make me wait that long for you to ask, you still can’t kiss me till then. No matter how much I already love you.”

“Really?” He’s so soft with her, she knows he’s not reacting to the teasing. He’s never had someone tell him they love him and then stay after.

“I would never lie to you about that, spence. I know what love means to you, I know how scared you are and I’m scared too. But I know there is no one else in the whole world I’d rather be scared with than you,” she holds him tighter and rubs her nose against his, “so what’s in the bags, daddy? Finish your surprise.”

She plays along perfectly, stepping back and hauling him towards the bed. “I got you some outfits and things for the next 2 weeks, we have a few things planned. We’re going on a flight soon, I have new luggage being delivered to your apartment this week and we’re going to see your moms for 3 days.”

“No,” she shakes her head, “there’s no way, Spencer, I haven’t seen them in 5 years, I’m going to cry.”

“I know,” he cups her jaw with his hand. “They’re really excited to see you.”

She hugs him tight, kissing his neck as she holds him. “Thank you, daddy, do you want me to put something on for you now?”

“I’m just going to take it off you, plus, what your wearing is sexy enough, he whispers back. “You’re always so beautiful, baby.”

“I thought you were saving the best for last?” She asks as she pulls back, overly eager and he can tell.

“I want to repay the favour from the other night.”

She doesn’t mean to gasp and yet she does, “please?”

He pulls on the tie of her robe, opening it enough to snake a hand behind her back and draw her in with a hand on her bare back. “Please what?”

“Please, daddy?” She looks up with her best begging eyes, perfect pout and all. “I want you to touch me, I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

He steps away from her to swipe all the bags off the bed before picking her up and laying her back against the pillows. He kisses down her body, hand on her lover back as she arches, he drags his bottom lip from her belly button to her cleavage. Nipping and sucking at the exposed skin on her chest, pulling her breasts out of the bra to suck on her nipples, she moans and it’s louder than she expected.

As she plays with his hair, he marks her, bruising small little love bites all the way down as he makes his way between her legs, “take me, please?”

He’s been dreaming of this for so long, he can’t even give you an accurate number of times his mind has drifted to the thought of how wonderful she would taste, how beautiful she’d sound…

“Tell me how badly you want me?” He asks as he spreads her legs and kisses her left thigh.

“I haven’t had sex in 10 months while waiting for you. Daddy, please you’ve owned me for so long, just take what’s yours already for gods sa- OH!”

With a broad lick, his tongue flattens against her core and it shuts her up. She gets what she wants, holding into his hair as she tosses her head back, taking it all in and enjoying it. He’s been on her mind for months, every time her vibrator was where he is now, she thought of him. he’s been the man of her dreams longer than she’s known him, and he was proving it.

“Right there, daddy,” she speaks through shallow breaths, “do you know how much I’ve thought of this?”

“You know I don’t,” the vibrations of his voice against her skin are glorious, he looks up at her through his lashes as his tongue flicks over her clit and she shakes a bit.

“Fuck,” she gasps, gripping his hair tighter, “better than I thought you’d be, fuck, too bad you— Jesus, don’t have the stash anymore…”

He stops and looks up at her, the smirk on his face glistening with her juices, “the stash?”

She nods, “I’ve thought about calling it the pussy tickler,” she teases, running her hand down his cheek and swiping her thumb across his bottom lip before bringing it up to her mouth to taste, “I want more of you.”

He kisses back up her body and she reaches for his robe the second he’s close enough. “Just grind against me? I know you’re waiting but we can still feel good together?”

He kisses the side of her mouth and she takes that as a yes, wrapping her legs around him so his hard cock is pressed right against her core as they move their hips in synchronicity with each other. His breathing is heavy as he kisses her cheek and jaw, her nails scratch down his back, he feels absolutely amazing against her.

She feels so empty, she wants him so bad she’s clenching around nothing as she squirms against his cock and wishes she was full.

“I wish I could move time,” she whispers. “Fuck, why can’t it be my birthday?”

He laughs against her, grazing his teeth over her neck and drawing another moan from her but then he stops moving his hips, “why are you so impatient?”

“Remember I said I stopped enjoying everything? Well, taking a 10 month break from sex and thinking about you every time I got off has made me desperate,” her hand cups his cheek, “I’d wait forever for you, but a girl needs to be fucked hard every once in a while.”

Only she could find a way to make something both profoundly beautiful and whorish at the same time, he loved her for it and she knew that now. He smiles and leaned in to rub his nose against hers and it takes everything in her not to kiss him. The same way it was taking everything in him not to slip into her as he began to grind against her once more.

She’s so close, the accidental edging has added a whole new level of desperation she’s never felt before. She wants to cum for him so bad, but more importantly she wants him to cum for her.

“Take my bra off,” she whispers, Spencer’s hands travel behind her back to unclasp it and he helps her out of it before tossing it to the floor.

“Cum for me daddy,” she whispers in his head with a hand in his hair, gripping him tightly as he bites at her neck, “cover me with your cum like you’re marking your territory.”

“Shit,” his hips sputter against hers.

“Say it, I know you want to,” she teases, so close to the edge but it’s too good of an opportunity. She loves seeing him fall apart like this and she can’t wait to see it again. “Who’s am I?”

“Daddy’s girl.”

He grinds down on her harder and faster and she’s so close, the bubble in her gut is reaching a fever pitch and with a gasp, she’s cumming and then she feels it. His load covers her stomach as he pants against her neck and grips her hips tighter as he comes down.

She wraps her arms around him and holds him as close as humanly possible, her breathing still heavy as he rises and falls on her chest. He’s heavy but she doesn’t care, she just kisses the top of his head and thanks him.

He brushes his nose against her neck, nuzzling her like a cat, “do you really mean it?”

“What, honey?” He remembers so much, this could be a question about something she said 2 months or 2 minutes ago and she has no clue.

“You’re not just playing along with my kinks right, you genuinely want to be mine?”

For being her million dollar man, his heart sure was broke. This is why he wasn’t ready, he still didn’t understand why she would want to stay without anything in return, he’s gotten so used to paying her for her time now that his anxiety has managed to convince him that she’ll leave when he stops being worth it to her.

“What does my necklace say?” She asks, knowing how close he was to it. “Read it to me, I forget.”

“Daddy’s girl,” he smiles again.

She soothes her hands over his back, “I would do anything with you because I love and trust you, but also because everything you do is sexy… you could read me the dictionary and I’d still want you to pump me full of cum after.”

“It sounds so crude after,” he laughs, “speaking of, we really need to have a shower.”

“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” She teases as he gets up.

“Only if you let me wash the front too?”

She smacks his bare ass and races him into the bathroom, turning on the water and getting in with him while still laughing and carrying on. He’s her best friend in the whole world, there’s no one else she would rather do this with… there was no one she has done this with. No one has made her feel this good, before during and after sex.

Spencer Reid was an anomaly, but he was hers.

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