#also we very very very clearly stated that the conversation about the queen was in response to people claiming she would have gone

[duchessofostergotlands]

just listened to the pod and although i agree the william doesn’t HATE women’s football, a lot of your arguments relied on “whataboutism”…. like sure the late queen or charles didn’t go to support their patron sports team, or the prime minister didn’t go either, but that doesn’t absolve william. you downplay the importance of his attendance but also stated he’s the reason you even know about some female players. but anyway, i also think he should definitely step down from the FA presidency - it involves too much passion for a “neutral” figure head

I can understand why you've interpreted it that way - to the point where I already had most of this answer prepared in my drafts - but it's inaccurate. I can only speak for the things I said in that episode so if you have a problem with something Grace said you can talk to her (she'd be happy to argue with you and tbh I think it's pretty telling about your view that you chose me to message and not Grace...) but that segment of the episode has two parts:

Why I don't think it's a big deal William didn't go and

Why I'm upset by the general narrative from the public and press

There were only two reasons I didn't think it was a big deal that William didn't go. I can show you my notes if you refuse to believe me.

The work he does for the England WNT and the men's national team is not drastically different now. It's not the same situation as it was in 2022 when William had done absolutely fuck all for women's sport and we both criticised him extensively. The players themselves have spoken repeatedly about the support and engagement they feel from him and

It's Australia. It's 10,000 fucking miles away. Spending tax payer money (from all four nations of the UK) to send a leader in climate change to Australia for what is effectively 5 minutes of work celebrating England is frankly absurd and I genuinely cannot fathom why anyone ever thought he'd go. Especially as it risks inflaming tensions given no one has been to Australia since the change of reign. If you listen back - I don't know, maybe you skipped over this bit, maybe you chose to disregard it - I clearly state that the problem wasn't that William didn't go to Australia it was that he didn't prepare for the fact he wasn't going to Australia. We both stated that he should have done more to support the team but he should have done it from home.

So if you can tell me where the whataboutism is there that would be grand as those were the only two arguments I made.

The rest was about the general narrative - as I said in the episode - and has no impact on my standpoint on William's decision in any way. It wasn't about William at all from my perspective, and what I said was entirely about the undercurrent of bigotry in the criticism of William. I am a Scottish woman and I don't think it's wrong that I find it upsetting when people believe English women matter more than anyone else. See the disparity in the reaction to William not going to Australia vs the reaction when Welsh people spoke about his lack of support for their team. At least he actually wanted the English women to win!! Whether you care or not, it is a problem that William got crucified for not going to Australia, and yet Welsh or Scottish people (and tons of other groups) get crucified for just politely asking for him not to want us to lose. In the course of a conversation about football and the public reaction to inequality in William's support, it is natural that a Scottish woman would mention the fact that the public and the press have shown nothing but bigotry towards us for the entire 17 years William has been President of the FA. It's natural that I would mention that even if William's support for the English women's team could be better, the public and the press treat the English women's team a million times better than they treat the Scottish or Welsh or Australian women's teams. If now isn't a good time to discuss it because it's "whataboutism" but every other day of the year is also not a good time to discuss it because it'll lead to a public hate campaign by the press and the public, when exactly is the right time?

So I don't consider it whataboutism because I was not saying that William's choice was any better or worse as a result of my point. I consider it a related conversation about my personal issues with the fact that people are claiming on social media to be holier than thou because of their standpoint in this while at best deliberately ignoring and at worst actively celebrating other, worse, forms of inequality. If you consider that whataboutism I truly don't care, because I'm right.

[lovelettersbyj]

A King and His Queen ❌

Warnings: Kissing, slight man-handling, intense biting, unprotected sex, slight dom!Coriolanus, ejaculation on body.

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x Fem Reader(?).

Summary: After a surprise Academy ceremony, Coriolanus Snow is now one of 24 Academy students in charge of a tribute for the 10th Annual Hunger Games ceremony. Pearl Whitegrove, desperate to climb her way to the top in Panem, must try anything and everything she can to keep Coriolanus Snow focused on the big picture. Even if that means, extreme, and potentially seductive measures.

Word Count: 2,192.

A/N: Happy holidays! I know it's been a minute, but I hope everyone had a wonderful winter break. I've been attempting to draft out how I want these events to play out; I really love Pearl and this toxic love affair so I want to make sure I include everything I thought of. Some of the dialogue might be slightly off from the movie since I'm shaping it around to my idea. I hope you all enjoy! Make sure to comment and let me know what you think. 💛

Also a very happy birthday to Tom Blyth! An absolute coincidence I'm finally posting part two today, but a great one nonetheless.

Read Part One here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The crowds of students, parents, school staff, and Capitol citizens flooded the ballroom floor; everyone clearly in a mild state of panic. Tributes and mentors? Academy students as mentors? There’s no way they’d be able to train these kids to survive a slaughter in The Games. But that wasn't entirely the point, was it?

I pushed my way through the vibrantly dressed bodies, raising myself up as high as I could in search of Coriolanus’ blonde head. About to admit defeat, a hand wrapped itself around my right bicep and pulled me back. I gasped as I turned around, arms wrapping around me and two familiar blue eyes staring right at me, “Are you alright?”

I nodded warily, “Yes.”

Coriolanus guided us stealthily out of the ballroom, avoiding anyone attempting to approach him and rile up an anger-fueled conversation. We ended up outside by the car loading area, thankfully empty. We stood in between the large concrete columns, attempting to stay relatively hidden from any prying eyes.

“What the hell is going on with Highbottom?” Coriolanus snapped, “Students as tributes? Is he out of his mind?”

I chuckled, “Clearly. Those kids are all going to die anyway; the Games themselves are getting more boring every year. If something doesn’t change they’ll just stop doing them altogether. The Capitol is desperate.”

Coriolanus went silent, his eyes glued to the floor. I watched him a moment, then stepped closer to him, lifting my hands and clutching his pale cheeks in my grasp. “Coryo, look at me.”

His serious expression remained, but his eyes began to soften as he focused on me.

“You’ve got this, Coriolanus Snow. You’re going to show Highbottom and everyone in the Capitol what you’re capable of.”

He chuckled, “But Lucy Gray—” “I don’t care about Lucy Gray. I care about you, and I care about you impressing Dr. Gaul. I know you want to help your family, and I know you want to ultimately work in the Capitol, right?”

He nodded, raising his hands and lightly holding my forearms, “I want to do great things with Panem.” He spoke so softly; a first glimpse at vulnerability. His eyes almost watering, looking at me a bit more desperately now, “I want to be President.”

“And you will, Coryo. I know you will. But you can’t lose sight of what they want out of the games. It’s not just about who survives. It’s about who they remember the most… And they’ve got to remember you.”

Fuck it. Before thinking twice I pulled his face towards me and kissed his warm lips. I felt his hands tense against my arms; fingers pressing a bit harder on the skin. This kiss was so comforting, for both of us. He sighed into the kiss, growing more confident now and pulling me into him. Suddenly a cough followed by someone clearing their throat made us pull away hastily. 

Turning around, we both were uncomfortably joined by Dean Highbottom, who leaned against a concrete pillar with his lips draining the last drops of a clear liquid in a tiny glass bottle.

“Always creeping around, aren’t you Highbottom?” I chuckled dryly, turning to face him as Coryo’s nervous hand gripped my wrist, “Don’t you have children to terrorize?”

A ghost of a smile decorated his face; sarcasm dripping from a chuckle as he looked up at me, “Hanging around the Snows, are we Pearl? That’s low, even for you.”

I took a step closer, but Coryo’s hand held me firm and prevented me from getting any closer, “You better watch how you speak about Coriolanus and his family. They’re more powerful than you could ever dream of being.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t crave power… unlike some people. Isn’t that right, Snow?” His gaze darted over towards Coriolanus, who stood silent behind me.

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms and shaking my head, “You can try to scare the Academy graduates all you want, but Coriolanus is going to win. You’ll see.”

Highbottom chuckled again. “With that little songbird? I don’t think so.” He began to walk away from us, heading back inside to the chaos he had created not long ago. Stopping in his tracks, he turned to face us again, “It’s a good thing Whitegrove is here to stand up for you, huh Snow? But once the Games begin, you’re going to be all alone… Then we’ll see how powerful you really are.”

———————————————————

The sun had set in Panem, everyone holed up in their homes, anxious after the ground-breaking news. I was with Coriolanus in the old Snow mansion, sitting in the living room with my legs crossed and watching the blonde haired man pace back and forth as he explained to Tigris exactly what had happened earlier that day. She was disapproving of the way Snow talked about Lucy Gray Baird, practically chastising him for doing so. She snapped back at him saying that if she was in Lucy’s position, she wouldn’t trust Coryo at all— my blood boiling at the insult.

“What else is he supposed to do then, Tigris? Let her go into the Games knowing full well she’s going to die right away? Let’s be serious for a moment.”

The two of them looked over to me now, Tigris’ eyes narrowed, “So what do you suggest?”

I paused for a beat, thinking sincerely. I still had no idea what Coriolanus should do, but there was no way in hell he was about to lose this ridiculous competition. He needed to win… I needed him to win.

“That’s what I thought.” She spat out dryly.

—————

Tigris had abandoned Coriolanus and I in a bubbling rage, closing herself away in her room for the night. I now sat in an old, worn out chair in the corner of Coryo’s small room. He nervously picked some clutter off of the ground, rummaging around in a quick attempt to make everything seem a bit more presentable.

“It’s okay, Coryo.” I assured softly, “Just relax.”

Resting a broken pencil on his desk, he sat himself on the edge of his small bed, directly across from me. We basked awkwardly in a moment of silence, before he exhaled a nervous breath, “I have no idea what I’m going to say to her tomorrow.”

“I think showing up at the train station is a smart idea. I doubt any of the other mentors would ever think about doing something like that, you’re on the right track.”

I stood up, shrugging my coat off of my shoulders and tossing it onto the back of the chair. Stepping closer to Coryo, I delicately lifted a hand onto a stray curly lock that hung over his forehead, tucking it back behind his ear and cupping his face, “You’re a brilliant man, Coriolanus Snow. You’re going to get Lucy Gray Baird to trust you, and you will be King of Panem one day.”

“King?” His eyebrows furrowed.

I chuckled, “King, President. Whatever you prefer.”

“There’s no way I’m going to win with her, she’s not going to last a day—” “She doesn’t need to last a day. She just needs to be remembered; so that you can be remembered.”

Coryo’s features went soft; eyes watering at the thought of how low his chances were. The fate of his future in Panem rested in the arms of a lowly girl from District 12. I cupped his face with both hands now, brushing away a tear that managed to slip down.

“If you can impress Dr. Gaul by the time all of this is over, you won’t need to worry about some District 12 country bum. You hold all the power, Coriolanus. You are powerful.”

Slowly, I lowered myself in between his legs, straddling his right thigh. His eyes darted down to watch the way I pressed down onto him, his mouth letting out a soft gasp.

“Pearl…”

Coryo’s eyes met mine, and our gazes held a moment. Suddenly he wasted no time in kissing me, his hands gripping the back of my neck to hold me in place as his lips tackled mine. I wrapped both arms around his wide shoulders, using his body to steady myself as my energy quickly grew weak under his touch.

Hastily in between kisses, my fingers fumbled with his white shirt buttons in a desperate attempt to pull the material off of his body, Coriolanus doing the same with the zipper of my golden dress. His hands slowly glided up the sides of my body, long fingers taking in what he could as he made his way up to my breasts. An excited spark went up my spine, feeling his cool, pale hands against my warm flesh. 

His hands cupped the outer curvature, massaging the breasts slowly. I bit my lip at his intricate touch, closing my eyes and slightly leaning my head back as I swallowed hard. At this notion, Coryo immediately leaned forward and clung his lips onto my fully exposed neck, playfully digging his teeth and swirling his tongue on a single, concentrated spot. Eventually his hands expertly unclasped the bra, and the clothing item also found its way quickly to the floor.

My hand rested on his fully hard cock, pressing aggressively against his tight black slacks. I knead my hand slowly, making sure to guide it along the full length. Coriolanus groaned, his head falling onto my exposed shoulder as he was fully at my mercy. I slipped his earlobe in between my lips, biting it teasingly as I slipped my hand past the pant confines and through the boxer briefs. His cock was rock solid, and at the touch of my hand twitched excitingly. I guided my hand along the length, only slightly cupping his balls before working my way up and beginning a steady pump rhythm.

“Oh my god, fuck,” Coriolanus gasped, one hand wrapped around my wrist as I continued to work my way along his cock. His eyes fluttered closed, and I pressed my lips onto his forehead as his breaths grew short and aggressive; I knew he was close.

Suddenly he pulled my hand out, and in a quick switch in attitude, he was back in charge. Coriolanus ripped my dress down, making sure to include my panties as he left me fully nude. He finished pulling off his pants and boxers, and with both hands on my waist, pulled me on slowly over his fully erect dick.

“Those were some pretty inspiring words,” He spoke in a low growl, guiding my hips as he slowly rocked me back and forth against him, “You just want a man with power, huh?”

“Oh,” I shuddered, completely at a loss of control. My core pulsed as my dripping warmth completely coated onto his entire girth. His hands pressed deeply onto my hip bones, guiding my rhythm as his mouth sucked hard on my exposed collar bone. My hands dug into his soft, blonde hair, looping my fingers in his curls as I held onto him dearly.

He continued his pace, my grinding trying to become a bit more desperate as I felt a tight ball of heat build up in my core. I started to pant, pulling tightly on his hair as I moaned out, “I’m going to c-cum.”

Coriolanus smirked in delight, moving a hand down to my clit and rubbing the sensitive bud vigorously with his thumb as he gave me a long kiss, swirling his tongue on my lower lip before pulling away and whispering, “Cum for me, my queen.”

His deep voice was enough to push me over the edge, and I clung to his broad back as I dropped my head onto his right shoulder, my teeth sinking into his skin as I felt my warm juices release completely onto his lap. 

“Coryo,” I gasped out, and I felt his chest rise and fall in a soft chuckle, pleased with the mess I had made on his body. He wrapped his arms around my curves, pulling me close as I continued to slowly ride out my high.

“I can get used to this, sweetheart.” Coriolanus smiled, lifting my chin to look up at him as he left a tender kiss on my lips, “You’re beautiful.”

I chuckled softly, kissing him again on the cheek as he helped lift me up. My legs slightly wobbled as I steadied myself, and he immediately reached over to grab a cloth. We both laughed, slightly embarrassed as we cleaned ourselves up. Coriolanus and I settled in his bed, practically clinging to each other under his bedsheet cover. “You’re going to do great tomorrow, Coriolanus. I believe in you.”

His hand held the side of my face as his thumb repeatedly stroked my cheek softly, “With you by my side, all my doubts are fading away.”

I had him. He trusts me—needs me. He’s mine.

 “Is that why you called me your queen?” I giggled, leaning up to kiss him.

He smirked, nodding his head slightly, “As you said, I’m going to be the King of Panem one day. Every King needs a Queen, right?”

[igncrxntripley]

their secret weapon pt. 8

a/n: finn receives a visit from an old friend to help him realize his wrongs, and y/n opens up to rhea. 

mentions: mostly SFW, brief mentions of violence during wrestling matches, appearance from a demon, fluff at the end, fem!reader, polu!judgement day, taking a shower but nothing NSFW happening in said shower

taglist: @babybatlover @ripleyswhore @auburnwrites​ @odessa-is-my-queen​ @theworldofotps​​

Finn stood alone after his partners all left the dressing room, and he started to think long and hard about the disaster he’d created. As wrong as it was...he wasn’t sure of what exactly he did wrong. Was pushing Y/N to be the best she could be such a bad thing? Was having that conversation with his partners not okay? Finn didn’t get it, and he knew that was worse than recognizing what he’d even done being wrong.  

As he sat on the couch with his eyes closed and his fingers digging into his temples, he’d decided the best thing to do was just relax and try to sleep some of this off for a few minutes. Maybe he’d come up with some ideas of where to go from here while he did so. It didn’t take long for Finn to doze off as he laid on the couch, but as he did, Finn could feel a presence of someone - no, something - with him. He had no clue who it was, but he tried to ignore it. 

Try as hard as he wanted...but Finn would never be able to ignore his demons. 

He took a deep breath and tried to push away everything that he was feeling; oddly enough, the darkness surrounding him was comforting. It gave him the space to feel what he needed to feel without anyone else there telling him what to do. However, as his light slumber took over his body he noticed that presence finally showing their true identity. 

“Christ, haven’t seen you in awhile.” Finn mumbled in slight annoyance, looking straight at the red and black Demon in front of him. Bálor stood in front of him in all his glory, smiling and swaying on all fours as he finally made his grand entrance. 

“It’s been way too long, friend!” Bálor said in excitement. “I needed to come see you after the mess you’ve made.” Nothing about the Demon King was a good sign, and Finn knew that. He was the last person Finn wanted to see at the moment. 

Finn rolled his eyes at Bálor’s words and shook his head. “Don’t even start.” He said, clearly agitated and wanting nothing to do with this conversation. “If you’re here to tell me I fucked up and they’re upset with me, don’t waste your time. Everyone else has already made it pretty clear.”

Bálor couldn’t help but laugh a bit, moving closer to Finn and standing in front of him. Just the sight alone made Finn’s skin crawl, but he’d also learned a long time ago to embrace his demons rather than pushing them away; that only made it worse. Bálor quickly caught onto that as well and used it to his advantage whenever he wanted to make his presence known. “I’m not going to repeat much of what’s already been said, friend. Especially because they’re all right.” The Demon stated matter of factly. 

The Irishman was even more agitated. “Fuck this, I’m not having this conversation-”

“Oh, yes we are!” Bálor interrupted. “And you’re going to listen, which is something you haven’t been very good at.” The Demon began pacing around on all fours, watching Finn like a hawk as he began talking. “It’s no secret you love the humans, all four of them. Whether you’ve been acting like it, it a different story.” He smirked at how furious those words made Finn, who almost interrupted. But the Demon held up his finger as if to remind Finn to keep quiet. “You don’t show love by hurting others. And you’ve especially hurt the small one.” Bálor said, speaking specifically of Y/N. “She injured herself for you, and it still wasn’t enough?”

Finn listened carefully, seeing where Bálor was going with this but still not understanding why he was in the wrong. “I never said it wasn’t enough.” He answered softly. “I just...I want to make her the best she can be. Sure I’m harsh but how is that such a bad thing?”

Bálor tsked softly, showing his fangs as he watched Finn squirm due to the lack of comfort. “She shouldn’t have to hurt herself to prove to you she’s loyal.” The Demon said slowly and carefully. “Not only that, but she has already sacrificed enough. Leaving behind someone she loved, causes more pain than anything physical.” He reminded Finn softly. “Think of what happened when you met the humans...you did the same, didn’t you?”

He thought carefully about Bálor’s words. The Demon was right; not only did Finn have this same period of loss and grieving of previous relationships before joining The Judgement Day, but everyone else did as well. Hell, Dominik was still grieving and coming to terms with his own situation after all this time. Bálor was right - Finn wasn’t seeing the progress Y/N had been making. He looked up at the Demon before letting his posture relax. “Yeah...yeah, I did.” He answered softly. “I don’t know how to fix it though. I want to...I just don’t know how.” 

A soft smirk crawled onto the lips of the Demon King himself, his fangs once again making an appearance. “You show each of them how much you love them, and you stop treating them this way.” Bálor said softly. “Your actions will speak much louder than your words.” 

The Irishman gave another small nod as he thought through his conversation with Bálor. “I can do that.” He said softly, watching as the Demon smiled in satisfaction. 

“Who would’ve thought I’d be the one teaching you to be human.” Bálor noted, a hint of sarcasm and pride in his voice. “You should work on that before I get too soft for you silly people.” That was when Bálor began to make his exit towards the darkness once again, hoping that his old friend would learn his lesson after this. 

Finn came to and opened his eyes, back in the dressing room on the couch where he’d dozed off to think through what had happened. Oddly enough, Bálor was right and had taught him what it means to be human; how backwards that was. 

All he knew, was that he had work to do. And that work began the next morning, knowing that none of his partners wanted anything to do with him for the rest of the night. 

--- ---

The remainder of The Judgement Day had gotten back to their hotel long after finally leaving the venue. None of them were thrilled with the circumstances, but they needed to have faith that Finn was putting the work in to think through what he’d done and how he was going to fix it. 

While Damian and Dominik crawled into bed, Rhea took Y/N into the shower so she could take some time for herself. She also wanted to hear what Y/N was thinking, as she hadn’t said much since leaving the arena earlier in the night. Rhea turned the water on and turned to where Y/N was sat on the bathroom counter, gently moving the ice pack away from her jaw and sighing at the sight of the bruise. “How are you feeling?” She asked softly. 

Y/N gave a small shrug and took off the t-shirt she was wearing (courtesy of Damian) and revealed some more forming bruises on her back from the table spot. “I could be better. I’m just tired I think.” She noted quietly. Who wouldn’t be tired after getting kicked in the face and falling through a table? She thought to herself. 

Rhea nodded and took a makeup wipe to start removing left behind eyeliner and mascara on Y/N’s cheeks. “I promise we can go to bed soon.” She gently stood Y/N up afterwards and helped her discard of her shorts, both of them stepping under the hot water and letting the steam relax their sore muscles. Y/N sighed in content, a small smile on her face for the first time almost all night. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful for a shower.” Y/N said softly, making Rhea chuckle. She leaned in to kiss her smaller partner’s forehead and grabbed some shampoo. “Is Finn coming back tonight?” She hated to admit it, but part of her missed the idiot. Yes he pissed Y/N off, but she still hoped he would come back that night and try to make things better. 

The Aussie gave a small sigh and started to wash Y/N’s hair, gently getting at her scalp with her nails. “I don’t think so, bug.” She said quietly. “It’s probably for the better. He just...he needs the night.” Up to this point, Rhea had no clue Y/N heard anything Finn had said regarding her loyalty. She and the boys were living in ignorant bliss because of it; but Y/N knew she needed to tell Rhea. 

So Y/N leaned her head back under the water as the shampoo was rinsed from her hair before looking up at Rhea. “I know what he thinks of me.” She said, Rhea furrowing her brows in confusion. “I heard you guys talking about...about whether I was loyal or not. I heard his doubts.” The sadness was written all over Y/N’s face, and Rhea knew she couldn’t change what had been said.

Rhea frowned and kissed Y/N’s forehead again. “I’m so sorry,” she said before giving Y/N a kiss on the lips. “He...I know it’s not good. He just has such high expectations of people. And we wanted him to think through what he said but he just gets so in the moment when he cares.” 

Y/N shook her head and stood on her toes to give Rhea one more kiss. “I know, I heard you guys sticking up for me.” She said quietly. “I just wish I knew when...when I’d be good enough.”

With one more kiss, Rhea held Y/N’s cheeks and made eye contact with her. “You are.” She whispered. “You’re all we could ask for. And he’s going to come to his senses soon.” That was more to convince herself than Y/N. 

The two spent the rest of the shower in silence, helping each other clean up and exchanging slow kisses with one another. Eventually they finished and got changed before heading out to bed, and they maneuvered their way into the mess of limbs that Dominik and Damian already created; Rhea took the easy way and laid on the outside next to Dominik, and Y/N shimmied between the two boys to take her rightful spot with Damian. 

Damian’s arms easily wrapped around Y/N on instinct and she snuggled into his chest, the sound of the large man’s heartbeat lulling her to sleep. But as she laid there, alone with her thoughts, she couldn’t stop thinking of their missing Irishman who she wanted nothing more than to just admit he was wrong and fix everything. 

The question was, would be even admit it?

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Trying to start a giant-ass meta on why I ship Mycroft/Albert and what there is to see of it and right off the bat I'm like...I want people to look at every single panel of their interactions.

No, it's not Sherliam levels. And BIG OLD DISCLAIMER: very little of what I'm going to present here is like "We were clearly intended to read it this way." I'll always argue that Sherliam is meant to be romantic: it hits so many well-established notes and tropes it's almost impossible to think otherwise. MycAl is a bit different. I do think it's definitely like...we're welcome and even invited to see it. But a LOT of my shipping it comes from the way I personally read and interpret things. So this is about explaining what I'm seeing that makes me ship it, rather than trying to be like "This is canon and you should agree with me." Anyway, for reference, I'll be using the official translation as far as it goes and then swapping to teawaffles' wonderful translation for the rest!

So...like right off the bat throughout the entirety of their Chapter 4 interactions their body language and expressions and ways of talking are so flirty? (Also, I still find it funny that in the manga Mycroft is introduced before Sherlock and thus Mycal is introduced before Sherliam. Older bros first lol.)

Maybe it's just that 2 decades on the internet have skewed me towards reading suggestiveness into everything, but the way Mycroft addresses Albert feels so flirtatious even if he's literally just being normal. "And what would an Indian Army official such as yourself want from an intelligence official such as myself this late in the evening?" Like...am I crazy? Does that not kinda sound like a porn intro? 😂 (This could also be Sherliam Side-effects. The way they call each other Professor and Detective in That One Scene is like...almost undeniably foreplay. Now every time anyone calls each other by title/profession/rank is this series I assume they're hitting on each other.)

But also Albert is just so...handsy throughout that scene. He's touching Mycroft's knickknacks, and just sort of limp-wristing all over the place. And I mean, I think that's just one of Albert's public-facing personas (customer service peeps, you know what's up) but it definitely lends itself to the existence of Vibes.

Anyway, there's this parallel of "You have my attention. What do you want?" that I think is kinda neat. (But look how comparatively sad Mycroft looks in the second version!!!)

Chapter 4:

Chapter 23:

Btw, in Scandal in the British Empire...why does Mycroft introduce himself to the Queen? Never mind, not why we're here. Again, my weird innuendo sensors perk up in Chapter 17 at "I did not drag you out of bed this early for nothing." Maybe it's because my perception of Victorian niceties, whether it's factual or not, is that there was this sense of avoiding talk of physical realities. We don't speak of pregnancy, we speak of "her condition" and "confinement." We don't "go to bed," we "retire." And so on. So conversely, it feels almost suggestive to even acknowledge that someone was in bed. In whatever state of undress the might imply. *Kellen Goff Sasaki voice:* OOOH how sCanDaLOus. (Mind you I DON'T believe there is anything of authorial intent in this, again, just trying to explain the factors that make me read things a certain way.)

The little mind games: Albert immediately recognizing that he's being tested, and Mycroft well aware that something is off, that he and Albert are using each other to their own ends. All juicy ship ingredients.

Then there's this...I can't articulate why it's important. But it is. Something about mouths and thoughts. If I wasn't terribly lazy, I'd go digging for examples in various manga series and I have a pretty firm suspicion that I could prove that, often, Mouth-Focus Thinking Panel + Name = Ship.

Jumping forward to the start of The Riot in New Scotland Yard (Chapter 29), Mycroft's demeanour has really changed. During the meeting at the British Museum he's radiating "I'm not angry I'm just disappointed" energy. He's tense, he's not sure if the Moriartys are enemies and when he understands their plan he seems understandably sad about it even as he accepts it. But now, he's radiating an almost Sherlock-like excitement. He's just gotten to see a miniature version of The Plan in action during the Jack the Ripper case, and it worked. He says he's just visiting Albert as an acquaintance (read: friend in Mycroftian), and that's what it feels like. They're chummy. It's cute. Also Albert teasing Mycroft over his squabbles with Sherlock when he leaves? When did Albert find out about that, hmm? (I mean, could be spying of course. But I like to think it just suggests they've talked more than we've seen.)

Annnnnd....cutting this part off here because I'm bored of it for now and it's long. I'll do the rest when the mood strikes. 😂

[ruthlesslistener]

Wanderer's Journal (pt. 3)

Now, as is inevitable with me, I am compiling the info on the Higher Beings, starting with the Pale King.

Here's the bit that states outright that PK was an accomplished civil engineer! I love that the Queen's Station apparently barely disturbed the environment too, likely out of deference to the White Lady. Additionally, the Queen's Station links the areas of Hallownest that allied with the King (Fog Canyon/Greenpath, the Fungal Wastes, Dirtmouth), which is a cool tidbit that I didn't notice until now.

Wyrm moment. It's fun to note that the White Palace as we find it in-game is not in this book, as a mortal would not have been able to enter. Very fun to learn that PK was once an 'unfathomably large' wyrm though (at least according to mortal bug standards!), and that it seems the dev notes on him gaining a gender after he transformed into his kingsbug form did stick around into canon, though of course that could just be because the narrator did not know that he hatched out of the wyrm (Bardoon does, and still uses it/its for the wyrm in-game, but that's not super important, I just think it's interesting worldbuilding).

We also see some of the Pale King's cowardice and willingness to omit the truth to get what he wants here, with him running from his sins and lying about what strips mind from bugs in the Wastelands. We know from Quirrel's comic that it's not him who does it, but if it keeps worshipers in without him having to resort to conflict? Jackpot.

Here's WL, and a mention of Dryya + Radi's puppet. Kinda amusing how WL apparently has no problem with visitors, but then again if I were a very powerful root goddess then I likely wouldn't really care about passive intruders either.

Aaand here's Radi! I find it curious that the glyphs seem to be made by the Moth Tribe, yet are clearly soul totems when we see them in game- maybe they changed from Radiance's power to the Pale King's when they made their conversion? Because they're certainly from the Moths, given the winged nature and the fact that their language seemingly has been stricken from record- though I should note that Ellina cannot read the Pale King's writings, either. I also can't help but feel sorry for the Radiance here, longing to be remembered, even if she did go ham with the genocide in canon.

And now the Grimm Troupe:

I have nothing else to add. I just love how they're hanging out and having fun. Ellina doesn't seem at all afraid of them, so perhaps it's just Elderbug who dislikes them setting up shop in his quiet little town.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

[blindtaleteller]

thank you for previous explain. It was so long and detailed. I had now another question. About lady's life in Asgard. Sigyn x Loki for me. And Sigyn is not warrior, but typical lady. Can you write something about it?

Honestly if you're looking for an example of that in canon MCU, much of Frigga's character and especially her surroundings as expressed on screen does have quite a few examples.

In fact, we aren't even given the idea she can still fight until she absolutely has to in The Dark World.

And, it's in Dark World (and a little of both Ragnarok [geh] and Endgame if you take both the premise of the Valkyries and the time travel scenes in it seriously) that we are given those examples.

Remember, whether they are fighters themselves or not: if they're Asgardian, they're still raised as a part of that previously mentioned warmongering imperialist society: and that would be (as also told to us in their dialogue about Jane and Sif, and their King Odin's expectations) even more strictly observed by someone like a lady in that kind of royalist/imperialist hierarchy, rather than a warrior.

That is why I say 'much' of Frigga's character and surroundings.. but not all. It's not the fighting you need to look at, though that can help. It's her mannerisms, her rooms (look at TDW including the fight with Malekith), her maids, and more. Frigga is, as Queen and even without the fight or ability itself: the top and more importantly leading example of what to expect of a lady of the royal court: as she should be in that kin of society.

And that's also VERY probably why she doesn't fight in any of THor 2011 on screen: even when Laufey shows up, regardless of her being nearer to the main palace then, than she was in TDW: where she was shown being in a separate side palace at least a few miles away when Algrim/Kurse broke out of the dungeon: all the way up until her life, and Jane's, are in immediate danger after having left that portion of the palace during the attack that Kurse opened the shields to manage.

(Which side note was REEEEALLY questionable at the time with a human housing an infinity stone in tow at the time, but is neither here nor there with other things taken into account... just a very dangerous for Jane choice, given what enemies they did have even without the elves being taken into account.. but eh, it is canon and it does fit the flavors of Asgard's, Odin's, and Frigga's own arrogance and ignorance in regards to Asgard's 'impervious' mindset state, as far as the upper echelons of their society seems to be concerned as portrayed on screen.)

In a way, it's made pretty clear that while Frigga still retains much of her skills as a fighter and mage/witch (Or the daughter of three witches at least as we also now know through canon dialogue:) the things she does and doesn't do, while also comparing that to someone like Brunhilde (aka Valkyrie) and how they were clearly recieved during and well after their term as an active female-only fighting force, the canon makes it pretty clear that unless they do retain that fighter status, women (perhaps including the queen) either do not tend to hold as much sway or dignity in other pursuits outside the household.

In other words and as an canon example.. even as the other ruler on the throne and his adoptive mother; Frigga is easily able to set aside the throne and any responsibility for doing so even in that situation. Regardless of, the fact that; at that point the situation is that Jotunheim had declared war in response to Thor's treasonous invasion, and regardless of being closest to Loki (we know this through the words of every character in the family: Thor says it repeatedly, Odin goads and attempts to guilt trip him with that close relationship too, and Frigga does the same with her own wierdness during her conversation with him in TDW's dungeon cell scene) knowing full well not only what she was asking of Loki, but also what Loki was going through in having just recently discovered that he wasn't only not of the same species: but on top of that was Laufey's biological son AND Jotunheim's only known of prince. Whom, Odin admitted he had taken to 'forge a permanent peace.'

A peace that, probably wouldn't have happened anyway if he and it had been handled just as poorly as well, it was.

Think about that for a little bit; really think about it: and the fact that she did so, while playing the part and claiming she was closest to him and cared about him the most.

That canonically casts some seriously gross and awkward truths into the realm of how their their relationship actually is versus how Frigga and the rest of them tried to paint it. As well as touching her own guilt evasion there too: and is something that both in the first Thor and the second film both: Frigga absolutely side steps taking any responsibility for, as the mother, the mentor, and the lady who raised him with that lie: regardless of their supposed closeness.

And, why that's important? Is because, under that king, husband and society as it goes: she is not just allowed to do that without complaint from any of the above, their society OR the foster-brother that she raised and lied to right next to him: she's allowed to thrive and remain in her position STILL without that question or any apparent explanation of ANY of those nuances or her part in putting him in charge in taht mental and emotional state; well after the fact and into 2013 two years later.

When she refers to that massive erasure of not just who but WHAT he is? Frigga almost always shifts that blame fully onto Odin in her dialogue; and steers as hard as she can away from words reminding the viewer that, she was Odin's wife and partner: through all of that. Instead, it's always 'your father' or 'he' rather than 'we' or 'he and I.'

Which is very blatantly another portion of Loki's response in this same scene when asked 'And am I not your mother..?' because, he's right in every form of the answer.

It's -possible- that she was being honest about her relationship with Loki, at least later on? But it's -not- very -probable-, or believable at that stage.. and her lack of self awareness and ownership of her part even when alone with him in Thor 2011 (not to mention carrying that on a year later in Dark World) makes that very hard to miss as a thing in truth: especially with the given facts being that this went on for over a thousand years.. and still over all that time she didn't have enough regard, respect, or love for her supposed favorite son, to even hint at any of his origins even after she taught him to shapeshift or cast illusions herself, to change the outcome.

And again.. no one raised a question as to why. Or held her accountable. No one questioned the one person in the royal family who was capable of taking Loki's place on the throne back in 2011 either.

Given how little we see women in honored fighting positions in Asgardian culture, and are given the very blatant information between the films that it's been literal centuries since even since a female fighting force has been a thing, PLUS the literal views we've been given with Sif as the only woman in the training yard in modern eras...?

It's pretty likely that raised-in bit of social ugly is pretty well dug into their society as well.

Again and that said: figuring out how a lady rather than a fighter might run her life, or fit in at those upper tiers without picking up a weapon: has been put on some display.

Asgard has a very wonky, heavy half ren/medieval approach to their upper heirarchy on display, complete with ladies in waiting (which Tony takes a little off jab at in GROUNDED too lol,) and healers especially seeming to be a majorly female profession.

There wasn't a single dude in that scene with Jane that wasn't either royalty or a guard, if you look at it again. Every single one of the healers is a woman.)

That mentioned, another place to look for examples, are again: Frigga's personal surroundings. And Dark World gives us a good look at those.

One thing to note, is that besides the healers: pretty much every Asgardian lady has armor in some portion of their wardrobe. Whether that's a breastplate, vanbraces (wrist/forearm,) gorgets (neck guard, like Loki's) or something else to accompany their dresses.

Vanbraces (Thor 2011)

Vanbraces and Archer's breastplate (Dark World Dungeon Scene)

Vanbraces, Pauldron, and partial Chestplate (Dark World, final scene)

There are moments when we see her and them without armor pieces (or in some scenes with even fewer of them at least, like teh carefully disguised set in the top gif) but for the most part those outfits are reserved for really important parties that are the equivalent of formal-dress parties: in which case we can see that even Sif doesn't escape from the expectation of wearing a literal dress: though even then.. hers is the odd one out of the others shown/on display in the room as far as style:

Which tells us a couple of things, but first and foremost and something that makes sense in their culture: is that even if they're not mainline fighters, and having been invaded enough to need and upkeep those shields in the first place?

Other than fancy events/celebrations and or coronations? The armor pieces are definitely as much local every day cultural fashion thing, as they are functional in some cases.

It's pretty likely that even the ladies of the court at least know and are expected to upkeep at least minor skills in self defense, if not the defense of their own homes: and are probably taught to do so from a very young age. They're not going to be as good at it outside of their own personal territory, or a territory they know well like say the Valkyrie were supposed to be, as the equivalent of a special forces military task unit: but they probably are expected.

Another side note..? This above, is ultimately; also among the forgiving reasons I don't question why Frigga went to the main palace outside of her taking Jane with her when she went. As Queen and lady of the house under that form of society, it absolutely passes without Jane in tow. However.. without Jane in tow, there's also the bit she couldn't have known at the time; that the writers did of course .. the fact that any of the elves were even alive and kicking. [And gee; thanks for that again Bor, lol! like father like son, I guess? Bor, his son, and said son's wife DO seem to have a habit of -not- telling their kids about world and universe ending enemies being alive after the fact, don't they? coughcoughHELAcoughcough.. XD]

There is one other bit, besides that: that we do get about the society from all that too though. At least about the surviving upper echelons of the ruling class: and that is?

That Odin had a really tight reign on the upper royals and his fighting forces surviving the Great Wars as King.. lips and all: unless amongst the entirety of their armies, council, other generals (besides Hela, which HOO is that a whole conversation unto itself Loki and Laufey related when you look at that timeline with Hela in it omg..) and pretty much every lady in waiting, servants .. or just other lords and ladies? Just didn't notice a surprise baby that the Queen -didn't- give birth to, was randomly being presented as a new baby prince to the Asgardian Empire. Which.. is next to impossible; especially when you take into account that this wasn't another country he took this kid from, or a society unfamiliar with magic: he took Loki from an entirely differing species and PLANET elsewhere in the universe in the middle of the last battle of one of the largest and bloodiest wars in their generation: and forced passing him off as his own.

Even if, he did manage that; maybe sequestering his wife and passing Loki off as a twin or some shizz? Someone if not a whole lot of someones probably knew.. but especially the healer or healers who would have treated any wounds throughout Loki's lifetime.

We could, almost say that they could have presented him as an adopted Asgardian kid.. and maybe he and Frigga did, to some of them on the sly to help keep it under wraps.. but that doesn't fit how their relationship is depicted, shown or talked about prior to or even after the reveal of his species and bloodline at all, either.

And that still wouldn't pass the first time this kid hurt himself, or was injured in battle under the scrutiny of an uninformed healer's ability in that society, with magic and high tech and more very much at their fingertips and in their alliances and enemies too, to be recognized.

Meaning, at least a portion of the populace closest to the crown, and especially those types old enough to have taken part in the last of the Great Wars or tending Loki as he grew and fought and more as a captive prince: were either just as complacent or, shut up by either if not both portions of the crown house really damned fast and really efficiently likely through threat, exile or worse. Keep in mind, the Great Wars and especially that one was still freshly finished, and they made a great show of making sure we knew there would be problems having the future ruler of the enemy they had been killing for an un-foretold length of time next to the crown in how even mention of Jotnar was allowed to form in Asgardian society: through Loki's words, through Thor's reactions and words, through Odin and through Frigga too.

The hate was strong enough even a thousand years plus of Odin's rule with Loki as prince later, that Thor thought it was A-Okay to go ahead and invade the planet and restart that war, against the literal warnings not just from every single person around him before he did it: and not just warned but told outright by his father and the King 'don't you fuckin' dare' well before even that.

That.. is the kind of society and expectations, an Asgardian Lady would have been raised into and led by along with the rest.

All that said, this is getting long; and there are metas rather than canon they come from that I could mention regarding Vanaheim as the most prevalent colony of Asgardians/partial Asgardians too, but.. we don't get a whole lot of them or their off world society other than to know that Odin doesn't care about them NEARLY as much: or at least not enough to even provide them defensive cannons or other defenses that Asgard otherwise VERY clearly has and has had for literal ages as put on display in the Dark World.

Being a woman in that society would probably be a very, well...

Probably, brainwashed to accept a lowered expectation of self worth over all, without the ability to fight on a greater tier than just home and self defense. And those who don't fall into those already asserted social standards would definitely be outliers if not outcasts. We have Loki himself and how Frigga's skills are viewed and worded even by her own family, as example of that.

So.. that's a lot to keep in mind but.. yeah. It is there, and more that; I probably haven't touched or missed while in the process of going on and explaining that.

For Sigyn though, for me: I do have some planned for her but as she doesn't exist in the MCU and adapting her would for me have to take all of that in mind: that is being approached very back burner for late Vestibule 2 (after Mixology) and Vestibule 3 as what ultimately boils down to an OC version of her. In part because I like that character in real life lore, and Skadi's character: and when I do write for them both.. I want to try and convert them to fit into the MCU base in a way that feels right to me.

Which is going to be rough when getting into more detailed versions of stuff like the very brief mentions of Skadi's tale and others I've already done in fics like Simon Says/Bail: given the MCU is twice removed from actual Norse Mythos; being Asgard in the MCU is more loose in being based off of Marvel, which in turn is then just as loose in the comics' basing their characters from that Norse Mythos.

Also, am tired .. is eleven PM lol sorry for not continuing, and getting extra rambly. But will add more pretty pictures to make up for it a lil bit? lol

If you have more questions or want some elaboration on anything, by all means feel free to send me asks just like this one.

I generally try to answer pretty quickly when I see them lol.

[toothlespoggers]

sometimes I feel like everyone gets so caught up in their own head and Fanon that they forget to actually look at undertale and deltarunes actual content to see the messages and themes that are very clearly on display.

the lore of undertale isn’t exactly a mystery apart from Gaster everything else has been given to us, the only thing we haven’t gotten are things that simply never came up in conversation or had a reason to be explained. Toby never needed to explain anything more than he did because it wasn’t relevant and still isn’t. He gave us enough information for everything with or without the external content he’s produced for undertale.

deltarune is definitely more of a mystery, but there’s still a lot of world building that’s been set in stone that gets ignored even there.

but the problem is mostly with undertale.

like how am I still seeing people debating things that are already in undertale like it’s subtext u don’t need to know every detail or have it be shoved down ur throat to know it’s the truth it’s kinda implied.

taking everything at face value is wrong but making everything too speculative and too made up is also bad. Because then u loose the actual game and the brilliance of it. And good characters get undermined or misinterpreted.

like why do people think chara is the reason you kill it’s literally stated in the game that the player woke chara up when they named the fallen human and then when you gained LV from YOUR genocide that the game tells you outright that you caused yourself, they became stronger and like saw a new purpose or whatever. And referred to themselves as a demon.

like chara never made you do anything u did that like that’s the entire point of undertale it’s connecting the player, YOUR actions to that of the game. Like that’s the same with deltarune the player isn’t an ingame character, the player is YOU whoever is playing the game. That’s why it’s called the player. Seriously how do so many of you miss this?? It’s like. Literally the entire game

I see so many long time undertale fans seeming to have played a completely different game to me, like bro are we talking about the same game here?

Kris isn’t controlled by “the player” kris is controlled by YOU. Because. You are playing it. It’s connecting you to the game in the storytelling style that suits the genre the best as toby has previously used. The games magic stems from this inherent connection that gives the characters life as they literally live inside their own world inside a video game. Like that’s literally their reality.

There is no evil murder chara outside of the genocide ending. There is no “player” fictional character, there is no queen of England.

play the game after relearninghow to analyse media texts from your high school English class.

maybe then it’ll make sense to u and you’ll realise it’s not a giant mystery

[misery-has-no-company-now]

character ask game 15, 18, 20 for New Jersey, New York, Connecticut

Hey, thanks for the ask! Here we go-

Connecticut -

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

I haven't really given this one much thought since I've neither thought of Connie a lot nor do I really go that deep into shipping since it's not the most interesting part for me, but I've read a bunch of Connecticut/Florida fics and so far that's been my favourite one to read (: [Also Flo called Connie Butter-cut in one of the videos 🥹]

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

I really like Flo's and Connie's conversations, of course. Connecticut is always just right at the edge while talking to Flo, who is either confused by them or keeps provoking them, and it's hilarious. Then the little bit of Connie and Rhodey we've seen - love that. But my favourite is actually Connie and Gov's relationship. I can explain.

For example, in the WNY 9/8 pt 1: A Wild Beefalo Has Appeared! video, Connie is just...so patient while explaining something to Gov - or at least patient in comparison to some of the other states we've seen yelling at and insulting Gov while giving him an answer. He doesn't do either of those or makes Gov feel stupid for not knowing the answer or what is going on in the state - he just takes a deep breath and calmly explains the whole 'part bison, part cow' thing to him. I feel like Gov really needs to talk with someone who doesn't get mad at him very easily, and Connie just fits that role in my eyes. Also, I bet that while Gov was still the Continental Congress, he and Connecticut would often get mixed up with each other since they both were called 'Con' for short. Till Connecticut gradually moved to the nickname 'Connie' and Congress started being called 'Connor' more often [then eventually Gov], they used to amuse each other by annoying the other states (Connie was one of the few rare states that Congress was not scared to loosen up and relax around) through answering to that name when someone was clearly calling for the other one (:

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screen time they share doesn't matter?

Rhodey. They both are two peas in a pod - small, feisty, and ready to bite with a whole lotta attitude. They were definitely pirates back in the day and uh... you know what @crazedstoryteller I feel like I should just tag you at this point since many of these headcannons are either yours or developed from yours anyway <3

Also, they both love the Boardwalk and are willing to take down anyone in a fight, no matter their size. They'll call each other in the middle of the night and ask them to join them in a fight - not because they need help but because they know the other one would love to be a part of the fight too. You know like how sometimes you might look at some picture and think "yeah, this friend of mine would want to see this"? Rhodey and Connie do that but with partaking in fights.

New Jersey -

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

Dara, come get your boys again because it's New Jersey/New York (: They're one of the sweetest couples I can think of really.

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

I don't remember which episode it was but there's one in which NJ says he's got to tell RI even Mass (I think?) doesn't like New York coming over. I can just imagine New Jersey and Rhode Island being the gossip queens of the Northeast lmao. And it doesn't hurt that they both are small enough to hide in places to secretly get the tea to spill to each other later...

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screen time they share doesn't matter?

Hmm, for this I'd have to say Nevada for sure. Nevada's a gossip queen too so that's also there. Then they both have large gambling centers that they regularly discuss about with each other. And NJ's one of the few rare states that (and the only one who regularly) allows Nevada to experiment with new hairstyles and make-up looks on him, partially because he's his friend and partly because he likes most of the looks himself too.

New York -

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

New Jersey/New York again, enough said (:

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

You know how in MA joins the table, Mass gives those ventilators to NY because he's not well and "Ain't nobody gonna kill no-how but me."? They're brothers, your honour, I swear. And because I can't stick to one alone; New York and Florida, outside the table, get along well too. NY's like his uncle that keeps visiting.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screen time they share doesn't matter?

California, California, California, Cal-

They have so much in common - Broadway and Hollywood, loud big cities that never sleep, major economies, technology and the stock market, etc. etc. They hang out a lot and discuss all this stuff. Cali would be going through the script of the latest musical New York is in to see where the lights would need to be switched on and all that while New York is reading about California's next acting role to see the best outfits he should wear at all those show premieres.

This turned out longer than I expected, but I hope you're happy with the answers, anon!

[petalsmooth]

Ep 8 should have been Colin and Penelope after their honeymoon in a deserved period of happiness before Cressida crashed it with her blackmail.

The episode should have been them deciding how to respond together, admission by Pen his fears were justified about her discovery but also showing Colin had overcome his jealousy and was proud of her and understood her need for purpose too. As well as side plot of his own manuscripts.

You could have kept the Portia plotting in there, of her being present when Cressida issued the blackmail because I liked her redemptive arc this season. As well as reconciliation with Penelope

You could have actually shown the conversation with Violet.

AND I repeat...THE BOOK SCENE SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN SOME FORM. I will NEVER be ok with her groveling to those people and acting as if the column was worth apology. Horrible story decision by the show to have her apologize to the ton that largely bullied and ignored her. Penelope only owed a few people apology, she did not owe everyone an apology.

Ep 7 concludes with a HAPPY wedding, which theirs wasn't. It should have been. You've had these 2 characters for 3 seasons, the audience deserved that moment and there was no reason needed that angst. Or if you had to have angst, it could have been what we saw with Cressida. Searching for Lady W.D. as the tag line. It did not need to be internal with Polin. Could have had Cressida and the Queen searching if wished it for the drama. without touching the wedding

Mirror scene should have been THIS ep where they REALLY saw each other completely and it could have been before the wedding with the "Stay" line from the book after resolve their dispute. To me this ep should have should have revolved around the wedding preparations and Bridgerton/Featherington women for Pen/bachelor party for Colin alongside with the continued tension from Colin's personal jealousy over her writing that she doesn't understand and finally admits to her as well as fears for her safety with the Queen's hunt.

Ep 6- This is where pick up from ep 5 and should have started with the confrontation had ep 7 at beginning only instead of Colin walking away they have that 2nd fight that gives him insight into why she wrote what she did. They don't resolve it here, but he does take her home in carriage. Still keep the church scene with the bans proceeding and the tension between them would be heaviest in THIS episode Pen still admits to him always loved him HERE, AFTER he knows about W.D. And you see her fight FOR him and make him understand does love and respect him because he's clearly having doubts. That she kept it secret because feared she'd lose the love of her life. Back half you'd have it reversed with Pen's speech about needing a purpose and all the luxuries Men have that women do not with Colin and Pen arriving full circle from that wedding conversation in season 2. That they are very alike in this sense. Still has simmering jealousy under surface he doesn't address yet but the animosity over L.W. disappears. I don't think it should be completely resolved this ep because allows for some tension in ep 7 but not so much the audience is put off by it.

ep 5 can stay mostly as is only instead of Cressida's announcement or Eloise being a black cloud would have had the Eloise/Cressida breakup happen this ep and Penelope and Eloise have a conversation at the engagement dinner working to fragile reconciliation and deciding Pen should respond suspecting what Cressida would do. Queen could have issued her bounty, Cressida could still have resolved to claim she was LW and issue her own pamphlet. Colin could have still seen them huddled together but thought Eloise maybe resolved to fix things after their conversation. Only instead of Pen fainting we have Pen sneaking out of her house at end with Colin spying her and following her and catching her at printer's. Also, personal preference? I would have it stated in conversation with Eloise once she delivered to printer's was going to talk with Colin the next day and finally tell him she was w.d. If the show wants to play up him catching her for drama I am fine with that, but I see no reason they had to write Pen as resolved not to tell him.

This is my idea of a fix it. Now I don't claim to be perfect and people can have some disagreements with it or suggestions to improve but there is still tension, still combines book/show elements but doesn't leave the audience feeling miserable at end imo and has plenty of Colin/Pen, Polin scenes including room to explore both their internal issues.

I also want Colin's book confession of her being his home in there somewhere.

[horatio-fig]

Neurodivergent Coding in TBB (‘Good’ vs ‘Bad’)

I believe that all the members of the bad batch could be seen as neurodivergent coded, and if you have any sort of neurodivergence, you will probably see yourself in at least one of them.  

I see a lot of myself in Tech, as a lot of us do. When we first see in him in The Clone Wars, he is introduced by rapidly firing off a lot of facts. Something I do a lot in social situations. But, in the same scene, Crosshair is seen hanging back and it takes him the longest to open up and speak, something I do too. 

In this arc Crosshair gives his unfiltered opinion, and all he does is state things that he sees as facts. You could make the argument he is fully aware his words will hurt, but he seems pretty surprised when Rex swings for him, so maybe not. (Also, when I first watched the arc, I was kinda thinking what he was thinking about the loyalty thing) 

Crosshair is easily hurt and takes things very personally, his alterations give him a skill but unlike the others it’s only one very specific skill, he lacks social nuance and craves order to the point he is incapable of changing his path.  

However, in TV there is sort of two types of autistic. ‘Good; cinnamon roll too pure for this earth autistic’ and ‘Bad; weird, there’s something off about him, creepy autistic’. Despite Tech and Crosshair showing very similar traits, especially in their lack of social awareness and penchant for planning and order, they are getting two very different portrayals. 

I have my theories why. Tech is the more relatable of the two, chances are people sitting at home aren't elite sniper assassins but we’ve read a couple of Wikipedia pages and can recite a few facts.  

This isn't me saying forgive fascists if they are neurodivergent or we can't tell stories in case we accidently code the bad guy. It’s more a look at how differently they are being portrayed and received by audiences. 

Why is it when Tech is blunt and hurts people's feelings, he’s a ‘sass queen’ or ‘a poor socially awkward baby’ but when Crosshair is clearly hurting and struggling to understand, he doesn't get the same reception. 

We know they do the hero/villain coding thing with physical disabilities and people are cracking down on that, but I think the conversation should be opened to look at neurodivergence as well.  

[pbandjesse]

We just watched three episodes of Interview with the Vampire. And it is ridiculously good. Like when I was a kid Queen of the Damned was everything to me. And I loved the original movie. But this is a different animal. The costumes are incredible. It's sad and funny and infuriating. It's so good. Highly highly recommend. But I am now very tired. I knit basically the whole time and got 7 squares done. Felt nice to be productive.

It was a pretty productive day overall. I really appreciated getting to sleep a little bit later. I did sleep a little better last night but it did feel really hot in here at time. Its probably just from the sun beating on us for a lot of the day but the temperature is supposed to lower again tomorrow so I have hopes of it being cool in here again.

When I woke up I would lay in bed for a bit. Getting up at 845. I took a shower and made sure my tablet was charged. I would have to leave here at about 940. The museum is only 10 minutes away but I was worried about parking. Thankfully I didn't need to be in the end.

Once I got dressed I actually felt pretty good. I had a little breakfast. Well I had a glass of a milk and a cookie. That's basically a breakfast. And I laid on the couch with sweetp until it was time to go. I would end up sitting on the stairs for the last few minutes because I was anxious about leaving. But in the end it was totally fine.

I got over to Little Italy and got an excellent parking space literally three cars from the front door of the place. I was really lucky. Also very nervous because the signs were all bent so I was only mostly sure I was parking in a legal space. And thankfully I was.

I wandered the wrong way for a second but turned around and found the house. I liked that you could see where the next row house clearly has been, but is now a courtyard. I took pictures of all the signs. I particularly loved their ground map of the United States with each state being represented by the state stone, donated by that state. It was really cool to see.

Chris would come outside to the courtyard to get me. He was a really nice guy. He is the second replacement for the woman I was originally in contact with last December. The person who replaced her apparently only stayed for two months and he's the replacement of the replacement. He knows a ton about the civil war and we had lots to talk about.

I was really blessed. I not only got a private tour of the house, I got a behind the scenes look at spaces they don't currently have open to the public, he moved ropes so I could see artifacts and spaces close up, and I got to go into the archives. It really truly felt like I was living the dream today. And I had so much fun.

I got to learn how to flag, the actual star spangled banner that Mary Pickersgill made, was constructed. With 15 fussy cut stars and special seams for each of the 15 stripes. I got to see paintings of Mary and her family. I learned a lot!

And the house was really neat as well. I loved seeing the artifacts and especially her bedroom, where the flag was most likely sewn. It wasn't just her. Her daughter, her servant, her sister, and two slave girls, all helped. But she was the business woman commissioned. And because of the enslaved girls, she didn't have to do any of the other house things and was then able to just focus on the flag. Which I think gets lost in the conversation a lot about the time (very quick) she was able to finish the flag. Chris is really interested in putting that story more forward, I appreciated that.

We talked about aesthetics. What he was hoping for for the colors of the bear and the dress she would wear. Accessories she may have, tools and such. We landed on a yellow body and a blue dress, but pink and peach were also thrown around. I would take lots of reference pictures and felt really excited for the project.

Before I left we discussed cost and he seemed really cool about it. I'll get everything in writing. And then I wished him a great rest of the day and headed out. I was in an excellent mood.

I thought the excellent mood would carry me through going to run some errands. But the heat got to me and I started feeling really woozy. I would change my GPS half way to the store, and went straight home.

When I got back here I parked and went inside and was sad about how hot it was outside. But inside was a lot better. I would put the oven on to make cream cheese wontons. I put together a bowl for my pasta salad. And went to work on stuffing some of my quilt squares for my puff quilt in the studio while my lunch cooked.

And lunch was very good. I had strawberry ice tea. I tried very hard to be hydrated. It was tough.

While I ate my lunch I tried the new video game James got me. Frog detective. It wasn't a long game, only about an hour. But it was fun. A simple little puzzle where I had to give different characters objects to get other objects to solve a mystery. Very low stakes. Cute art. It was funny and it was fun. There are two more games in the series. I may play them tomorrow. It was a good time.

I would lay down for a little. But soon I went upstairs to work on my commission.

I was a little stuck at first. But once I got going I felt really inspired and good. I got the bear itself done fairly fast. The accessories always take the longest. I would trace the table and chair from her room. Cleaned that up. Worked on a draping flag. Some little sewing tools. I have more plans but I just think it's the cutest thing. She came out so sweet. I really hope they like her. I quoted him about 5 hours of drawing, and were about 2 hours in. I may make her an actual background, but we will see. I don't want it to be to busy!

Around 4 I moved downstairs. I asked James to bring me French fries home. I didn't realize they were having such a tough day today. A flat tire. Hurt their leg. Internet went down. More and more things just weighing on my poor husband. But they would still get me fries. Even if they were in hold for 7 minutes! I love them so much.

I heated up nacho cheese for the fries when they got home with them. We shared them and James told me about their day while they started making crepe batter. I was very happy to have them home.

They went upstairs to record something for their podcast. And when they were done we would have crepes and watch interview with the vampire. And it was just a really nice night. I got really woozy at times. And my stomach hurts a little. But overall I was good. It was probably the best I've felt for the longest periods. It wasn't perfect. But I was happy.

And now I am tired. I am going to shower soon. And get ready for bed. And hopefully tomorrow is good too.

We were supposed to get our washer and dryer delivered tomorrow but now we think it was canceled because it's backordered? But we are very confused because the number in the email said we still have a delivery so I will stay home to wait just in case. Celia may come over after lunch. I just hope it's not as hot and I feel okay.

I hope you all have a good day tomorrow. I hope you sleep well. Be safe everyone. Until next time. Goodnight!

[anime-kia]

Sleeping Beauty (Part 1)

(I'm no longer going to warn you guys about swearing cuz it's to be expected. Also, I'm not making anymore warnings about spoilers either) No Warnings for this chapter.

Relationship: Soulmates - King Erik x Reader

What no one knew was that Erik didn't only come to Wakanda to seek revenge, or to claim his spot on the throne, but a powerful force kept him searching. Searching throughout his time at MIT, on missions, and sometimes in Oakland on any regular day... It nagged him day and night, keeping him up at times. But as soon as he crossed the Wakandan border, the feeling started to ease off of his chest...

You were placed under a spell 3 years ago on your 18th Birthday, laid to rest in a small room similar to a garden with plants, flowers and herbs native to Wakanda. Each flower possessing healing powers in hopes to keep you alive in your dormant state.

You were not related to the royal family by blood, rather you were King T'Challa's love interest. He was going to propose to you as soon as you awoken from your slumber. Unfortunately, a stranger who entered the border had other plans that would change the both of your lives.

He was clearly a foreigner. American, W'Kabi decided, hearing the young man speak. He presented the nation with a gift. More like a cruel joke, some would say, but with reason. 

Erik was granted access into Wakanda, hands tied behind his back before meeting the king. He entered the throne room, in a cocky manner, where everyone was called to inspect this stranger. All eyes were on Erik, but he was too busy looking around the room, thinking about how he would be taking over, and making the palace his.

T'Challa commands Erik, in which W'kabi translates, "Speak."

Erik felt a rush before answering, "I'm stayin' in ya house. Serving justice to a man who stole your vibranium and murdered ya people... Justice your king couldn't deliver."

How insulting, the audacity of this man to walk in this room like he owned it, then to one up with the King of Wakanda!

Upset from his failed mission, T'Challa got off of his throne and approached Erik, Okoye and the Dora Milaje following behind. 

"I don't care that you brought Klaw. Only reason I don't kill you where you stand is because I know who you are. Now what do you want?"

"I want the throne."

His words erupted a mocking laughter from each corner of the room. Him? The king? Ha, as if.

Erik wasn't phased by the ridicule, he explained to them why he would be a better king, and the blindness of Wakanda. 

T'Challa was not happy with Erik's choice of words, and made sure that he knew that the people of Wakanda mean a lot to him. The rest of the world can handle themselves. 

"Son, we have entertained this charlatan for too long, reject his request." Queen Ramonda stepped in. 

"Oh, I ain't requestin' nothing. Ask who I am."

"You are Erik Stevens," Shuri voiced, everyone looking at her, "An American Black Operative, a mercenary nicknamed Killmonger, that is who you are."

Though proud of his name, Shuri missed out on one very important title, "That's not my name, princess. Ask me, King."

"No." T'Challa declined.

"Ask me." He jeered him on.

T'Challa turned around, heading back to his rightful seat on the throne. "Take him away." He demanded with a simple hand gesture.

But... There's always that one person who doesn't know how to keep quiet.

"Ungubani!" The Elder from the River Tribe called out.

"I am N'Jadaka, son of Prince N'Jobu! I found my daddy with panther claws in his chest! You ain't the son of a king, you're the son of a murderer!"

All members in the throne room were stunned, conversations coming from all around. N'Jadaka? Son of Prince N'Jobu? But how can this be? He's only an American!

Disgusted, Queen Ramonda stepped forward calling out, "Lies!" 

"I'm afraid not, Queen Mother." He raised a familiar piece of jewelry in his hand, and everyone gasped in disbelief. 

She demanded W'Kabi to show her the necklace up close.

"Hey, Auntie." He smirked and said without a hint of shame in his voice. "I'm exercising my blood right. I challenge for the mantle of king and Black Panther!"

Panic was wide spread across the room, but T'Challa remained calm accepting the challenge. 

A fatal mistake that he made...

Mere moments later, Erik sat upon his throne talking down to everyone as if they were children, despite the age differences. He educated them on how he was going to run Wakanda, and how he would conquer America and end all of the messed up shit going on there. 

After the meeting came to an end, Erik was given a tour of the palace by a dainty servant named Anathi. His crude personality and aggressive nature placed fear onto the poor girl who was no older than 17. She feared messing up, already knowing the wrath of her new King.

"This is the library," She did her best to speak confidently while opening the large mahogany door, "We have all kinds of books from around the world. The king has his private room to read as well, if you're into that kind of thing."

"Nah..." He wasn't even paying attention to her, his attention was fixed onto something else, "Show me that room."

The girl turned around to see what he was talking about. His index finger was aimed at a room, located right underneath the sunroof. It appeared to be a garden, but there laid a female body.

Before Anathi could even take the lead, Erik guided himself towards the room. It was almost as if it were pulling him in.

"Y-your highness, wait." She called to him, but of course, he didn't take orders from anyone.

He grabbed onto the golden handles, pulling the door, but it would not open.

"Why is it locked?"

"We cannot allow anyone in there, your highness. Not even you."

Erik glared at Anathi from the corner of his eyes, her knees almost buckled. "Why not?" He asked sharply.

"It might interfere with her healing."

Healing? Erik thought to himself. "Where's the key?"

"Um, there's no key... There's a spell placed on the door."

"And who can break it?"

"N-no one, only she can."

Erik rolled his eyes, "Why lie?"

She didn't respond and he chuckled at her silence.

"You thought I ain't notice." He smirked, "Yeah, I know you got some tricks up ya sleeve." He grabbed her collar, "Open the fuckin' door."

Scared shitless, she wobbled over to the door and ran her hands across it in a pattern. "T-there, it's open."

"Nah, you open it first. Just in case y'all trynna set me up."

"It's not a trap, your highness."

"What did I ask you to do?" He rose his voice. 

Anathi complied, grasping the two handles and pulled the door open. She stepped to the side, allowing Erik to access the room.

The first thing he noticed was your dormant body, and that feeling he was experiencing became steady.

"This is, (y/n), she was placed under a spell a few years ago. We thought she was poisoned, but T'Challa saved her. He gathered all of these lovely seeds, planting them specifically for her. He didn't want her to perish like a normal flower, she was special to him. He loves h-"

Erik's hand was around Anathi's throat, holding her in the air, "I ain't come to hear allat sappy shit. Now be a good servant and get the fuck out before you get just like her. But I'll make sure it ain't no flowers keeping you alive." He dropped her small frame onto the ground and she immediately scampered away from the area. 

Erik watched you from a distance, admiring your every feature. Today your hair was neatly braided into a bun, while your frame was covered in a satin red gown defining your goddess-like figure. The palace servants, like Anathi, made sure that you were taken care of in terms your hygiene. They did your hair every month, trimmed your nails and changed your outfit, as cleanliness was very important to the people of Wakanda.

He wondered what you were like, how you sounded, what your interests were.

Though he didn't know you, it felt like you've known each other since birth. This feeling driving him closer to you, wanting to know who you are...  It made him go crazy... This feeling caused by a mere woman?

This ain't that soulmate bond shit- Nah, it couldn't be. He tried to brush off the thought.

He left the room, carefully locking the door. 

Surely he would return soon.

"I ain't ask for that, just gimme her status report." He huffed, frustrated, sitting on his new throne.

"Sh-she's in perfect condition, your h-" Anathi stuttered, her eyes gazing onto the floor, head low. For the past month, Erik continued to pester her about your condition. She wondered what his fascination with you was, but she wouldn't dare to ask him that.

"Then why the fuck she still sleep?"

"It's a spell."

"Then break it."

"I cannot... I am not her true love."

Erik deadpanned, almost laughed too. "True love? Stop playing with me, this ain't no fairy tale princess bullshit. This is real life!" He got up from the throne, towering over the poor girl. "You better find a way to wake her up."

Anathi hesitated for a moment, she was afraid to wake you up out of her concerns for you meeting the new king. Your heart and loyalty laid with T'Challa, you would never betray him. Anathi feared that Erik would try to kill you, or make you a servant, to tend to his every need.

His gaze was burning into her flesh as if he knew she had the key to waking you out of your slumber, "A-alright," She gave in, "There is a way..." 

The silence from Erik indicated that she could continue to speak.

"I was serious when I said true love..."

Erik rolled his eyes.

"I'm not sure if you ever heard of soulmates, but there is a thing called Soulmate Bonds. It's a very powerful attraction between the two people. Ki- I mean, T'Challa has tried to wake up her, but it has not worked... We're not even positive he is the right one."

Erik scoffed, "Y'all are really on some shit."

Ignoring his statement, she continued, "This may sound silly, but a kiss would do the trick... We're trying to find a possible match, but we don't want a thousand different men kissing her."

And Erik sure as hell would not want that to happen either...

He made his way to the door.

"Where are you going, King?"

"Don't worry about it, you're dismissed for now... Aye and clean up, you're drowning in sweat."

Erik strode down the long corridors of the palace, following a familiar shortcut that he discovered within two weeks of walking exploring that vast space. He soon found himself at the door where your body rested. Anathi made it easily accessible for him so she would not have to follow him down every visit. He pulled the handles and entered the room.

This visit, your curls were styled in an up-do, and you were dressed in a bright green, pink and yellow dashiki dress that complimented your melinated skin.

Erik approached you, his hand running across your cheek. He felt chills through his body. Is this love? He pondered. Am I her soulmate? He stared at your lips, wondering if what Anathi said was true, or if she was trying to make him look like a fool. His thumb gently pulled your bottom lip down, revealing your pearly whites.

For all the times that Erik has come down to see you, he never tried to cross the boundaries. But each visit made it harder and harder for him to keep his hands off of you. If he was actually the one for you, he could brag about it for the rest of his life. T'Challa could not do it, this would prove Erik more worthy than him.

"A kiss, huh..." Erik said to himself, chuckling at the ludicrous situation. His hands cupped the bottom of your chin as he leaned in, centimetres away from your face. But the only thing that made contact with you was his forehead that pressed against yours. It was moments like these that made him feel human again, not like the killing machine he was designed to be. He was at ease in your presence, which sure confused the hell out of him, but at least he was happy. 

Maybe not today... 

And with that, Erik lifted himself up and made his way out of the room.

To be continued...

Okay so I decided to make this a two part one-shot, only because it's taking me forever to update this and it might be a really long chapter if its just one whole thing. 

P.S. This month is going to be very busy for me, so I'll try to update whenever possible.

(Start/Finish: May 25-June 2, 2018)

[aadmelioraa]

Hi, i've seen your pretty and angsty edit about Eärien (saving it for a reblog later in the day), the one where you used the quotes "My trouble has been too hard-won" , and i wonder if you have discussed somewhere the meaning of his quote? I've tried to make sense of it using the cast's interviews but so far it's still a mystery for me. She doesn't seem to be the kind of girl that provokes troubles for her family, the rebel kind (she has a career plan and isn't after boys). So what is it?

Oooh yes I love this question! (Also thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed the edit!).

I interpreted that quote as Eärien letting Kemen know she's not going to be easily distracted or charmed by him (basically "keep your sacred wine, I have no interest in forgetting my troubles"). She's not remotely impressed by him at first lol, and I love that for both of them tbh. I do also think there is some foreshadowing at play.

In terms of the more direct meaning, Eärien has been through a lot for a young Númenórean, and she is wrestling with some major uncertainties in a way Kemen (clearly, to her) isn't. She doesn't have the security/status/wealth he does, she's trying to carve her own way AND hold her family together as best she can after the tragic loss of her mother (and being abandoned, as she or Elendil may perceive it, by Anárion). 

In the show, Elendil and his family have recently moved to Armenelos, and Ema Horvath has stated in interviews that Eärien is excited to finally be in the city and at the center of things, but she's also very cautious to be entering this new world. She's ambitious, but it's a very calculated ambition. She's not the sort of person to do things on impulse (unlike Isildur), and I think she's really aware of the risks associated with each step she or her father or brother take. She's less connected to the world of Armenelos, the Queen Regent's court, the guilds, and has the additional burden of being part of a Faithful-aligned family (a burden that lies heavier since she herself is not convinced of the truth or efficacy of those beliefs). 

I do think it's important to note Eärien says "my troubles have been too hard won" directly after watching Pharazôn make his speech to the guildsmen, which touched on the tension between the King's Men and the Faithful. It also reminded me of Míriel's response Galadriel in the previous ep, when she said that the men of Númenor were not gifted the island, they earned it. G: "It was because of the elves you were given this island." M: "Our ancestors were not given anything, they paid for this isle with the blood of their kin." I find that parallel interesting because it's clear from ep 3 that Eärien is not a fan of Míriel (she refers to her by her name only, no title, and seems very skeptical of Elendil's involvement with her). There's definitely something to be said about how Míriel's statement can be interpreted as mostly political posturing, and she's playing her cards close to the chest for most of the season, but it's a very clear indication of the general anti-elf sentiment in Númenor at this time, and I think Eärien is very aware of this sentiment as well, whatever her personal beliefs are. 

In the context of the whole season, I also think about Elendil's below-deck conversation with Míriel in the finale. M: "My father once told me that the way of the Faithful is committing to pay the price...even if the cost cannot be known. And trusting that, in the end, it will be worth it." E: "Sometimes the cost is clear...we have little choice then but to keep serving, and I for one will see to it that we make the end worth the price." There's definitely a lot to be said about mortality, suffering, loss, who is meant to bear those burdens, and what it means. The "cost" of faith, the presumption that such losses are to be taken in stride, that death is to be considered a gift, vs the position that mortality and the associated expectations are unreasonable or arbitrary at best, cruel and vindictive at worst. I'm really looking forward to the show digging into this tension in future seasons, I'm hopeful we'll see the points to be made on either side, as well as acknowledgement that there are positions which fall between the two extremes (which this post addresses really well imo). Thinking about how Elendil is committed to making Isildur's death "worth the cost," compared with how Eärien is keenly aware of the hardships she's experienced and how they've shaped her outlook and skepticism and work ethic...they both trying to hold it together the only way they know how! And they're kind of on opposite trajectories and can't really see each other clearly! It's a lot!

Based on Ema's interviews, it seems like several of Eärien's scenes which got cut could have provided more context about how her mindset shifts over the season (I am thinking in particular of a dinner scene Ema mentioned where Kemen and Pharazôn were both present, if I can track down the interview she mentioned it in, I will link it below). I get why some of her scenes were cut, but I would love it if there was any way to see them in an extended cut or something…probably wishful thinking though. Anyway, Eärien is a really fascinating character to me and I'm excited to see more of her in s2. They could go a few interesting ways with her, so however it plays out I'm looking forward to writing more Eärien-focused fic and meta. 

[causethisismyblog]

Episode 3! Here we go...

Did August really never realize that publishing the video meant he could go to prison? Really?

Ayub and Rosh being very awkward and quiet when Simon says he doesn't understand why he can't just fall in love with Marcus. Why do they react like that and yet still push him towards Marcus?

When Wille brings up Erik and Boris then says "so you don't feel like you might hurt someone". This comment makes me think that Erik might have been self-harming or suicidal, or thinking about those things... What if his crash wasn't an accident...?

I really appreciate angry petty Sara when the people come to take a look at Rousseau

What is the history of this school that a song about heartbreak sounds like it is fitting for a school song....

Simon saw Marcus before he entered the barn to talk to Sara. I feel like he went in there to talk to her about Marcus and his thoughts and how unsure he was about things. But when he so that August was there with her, and the fact that she got really closed off when he asked her about August made it so that he couldn't have that conversation with her.

The way Marcus treat Simon gives me the heebie-jeebies. The scene where Simon says he isn't ready for a serious relationship, I just feel so tense and anxious my body actually has a physical response.

I know some people say that August really just invited Sara over to talk but, I can't get over the fact that he is working out moments before she gets there so that he looks "buff"er. So as much as I think he did invite her over to talk, I think he was also hoping something more might happen.

August turned off the light just before him and Sara had sex. Is that because he's insecure about his body, or was he being considerate for Sara? The light was on when he and Felice were together if I remember correctly, but they weren't facing each other and August clearly did not care about Felice

As much as I hate August, and everything Sara did this season, they are just too freaking adorable together.

Why would Felice read the "if you're in a relationship" part of Sara's horoscope to her? She believes that Sarah is single.

Forest Ridge was ahead of the other team even after Vincent fell off. They can't blame Simon for them losing if they lost after that it happened.

Fuck, I hate Marcus. Simon just looks so uncomfortable from the second he showed up at the rowing competition.

Also August standing up for Simon against Vincent. Uh, what why?!?! He has nothing to gain from that. And Wille just saying nothing... 😢😢 (I don't think Wille is even paying attention to the conversation in front of him until Simon says fuck you I quit.)

The amount of thought that goes into every aspect of this show.. the tone of the music changing when Wille goes from moping inside to wandering and moping outside. Just add so much to the scene that I didn't know I needed.

If August thinks he is going to be punished why does he so willingly go to meet the queen?

The queen knows what a terrible person August is . But, Jan-Olaf and the Royal Court could not have known about what August did. Otherwise they would never have recommended to pull him in as next in line and prepare him to be Crown Prince if Wille fails, could they? They're afraid of Wille failing because they think he's unstable, but what August did just screams horribly unstable.

How is August related to Wille? Was his father the queens brother? I know it is stated they are cousins, but how is the link?

Edvin has spoken in an interview about the fact that Simon and Wille are so comfortable together because they allow each other to be awkward, and that's a stark contrast to the scene Wille shares with Felice. But I just can't find any interaction between Wille an Simon to be awkward, in my brain it's just reads as adorable and quirky and cute and passionate. However, the scene with Felice, every second of that makes me feel unbearably awkward.

Bless Henry. That is all.

[miraculouscontent]

It’s heeeeere! Another summasalt, this time with nearly twice the length of the first one!

(Turns out that not having caffeine doesn’t help me talk any slower.)

Script below:

Anonymous asked:

Thoughts on Rocketear?

Can you Rocketear the newest episode apart with your salt, my beloved Salt Queen?

Penny for your thoughts on Rocketear?

Aw, anon! You can have that for free! I'm a generous goddess.

"Rocketear" begins with Chat Noir and Carapace - just Carapace, really - holding back a pack of what I presume to be the physical manifestation of the writing staff's age, or at least a representation of how behind the times the writing seems.

Just as the dinosaurs break through Shellter. Ladybug shows up with the scientist who revived the dinosaurs in the first place and said scientist uses a whistle to calm the dinosaurs down. There's also a line from Bob Roth about putting the dinosaurs in a theme park to make money and I know what it's referencing but it's so incredibly random that it doesn't really come off as a proper joke.

Carapace was notably sad right after battle, but insisted that he was fine when Ladybug asked. Rena, sporting a... - I would like to say "new design" but it's a recolor in every sense of the word - is hiding behind part of a building and smiles after the heroes before walking off. Ladybug takes Nino's miraculous back but sees that he's still upset and asks him again what's wrong. Nino asks where Alya was and Ladybug claims that she only needed Carapace for the job, which cheers him up but only until Ladybug is already gone.

Mm, I guess Nino and Adrien relate in heroism not being enough for them unless they have their respective love interest to flirt with.

Also, I know this is an obvious set-up, but the show can't tell me that Ladybug just always brought Nino and Alya whenever she needed one of them. Season 3 required her to go to Master Fu to get the miraculouses, and unless she already knew that Nino and Alya would be in the same location - which, okay, the show does basically shove the two of them together whenever Nino is onscreen, fair, if two characters are in a relationship in this show then it's weird for them to NOT be with that person - but it just seems like a gamble, not to mention proof to Shadow Moth that the two are close if Ladybug constantly brings both of them.

Anyway, Ladybug goes into the sewer and asks Rena if she's seen any sign of Shadow Moth or his traps. Rena didn't see anything and they de-transform. Marinette is about to leave when she thinks of something, but Alya assumes it's about her new look, which was apparently not voluntary on her part and the suit automatically adapted to Alya's new role as Rena Furtive, which she has now named it as.

Marinette reminds her that this is supposed to be a secret and that they agreed that the fox has no owner. When Alya is evasive about whether she told Nino that she won't be Rena anymore, Marinette stresses that everyone needs to believe that Alya won't be using a miraculous anymore so that she can remain an undercover spy.

What's the point in changing the look if you're not going to show yourself anyway? I mean, insurance, I guess, but still.

Alya, exasperated, parrots what Marinette has apparently told her before: that she helps Ladybug with Mirage in case Shadow Moth tries to follow her so Rena can follow him instead. Marinette stresses the situation again and Alya tries to get Marinette to agree on her telling Nino that she's Rena Furtive, but Marinette refuses.

At Marinette's house, Alya talks further and explains that she doesn't know if she can lie to Nino since they don't keep any secrets--Alya, babe, you kept Rena Rouge from him and didn't tell him that you knew he was Carapace until Ladybug was forced to give you your miraculouses at the same time. I don't wanna hear it.

Marinette states that it's too late for that and also not technically a lie, but Alya gets upset and says that Nino will never trust her again if he finds out that she kept something from him. Marinette brings up how she had to keep secrets from Alya too, but they're interrupted by Tom appearing and wanting to play games with them. Marinette makes an excuse about homework that she's repeated many times, as Tom comments that the teachers give her too much. After Tom is kicked out - hang on, lemme just... - Marinette uses the moment to show Alya that she's lied to her family a lot and hasn't played games with her father in months. She states that there's no other option as they have to protect their identities, and Alya agrees to talk to Nino.

In Alya's room - I just presume at this point that Nino's house doesn't exist and Chris is an illusion - Alya tells Nino that they need to talk, but stammers and states that it's hard to talk about. Nino thinks that she wants to break up with him, but Alya assures that she loves him. She finally gets to the cover story that Rena herself made up in "Sentibubbler" and Nino understands, sad that she won't be around anymore but agreeing if it's what Ladybug thinks is best.

Is it weird that Nino respects Ladybug's wishes more than Alya does?

Nino hugs her and is confused by why Alya was nervous to tell him, as she can tell him anything and nothing will change their relationship. Alya feels guilty and hugs back, murmuring about how they don't have any secrets; that's not what Nino said, but sure, push this plot to its already predictable conclusion. I mean, I thought it was vaguely sweet that Nino switched to seriousness immediately when Alya said that she wanted to talk, but how am I supposed to be invested in this couple when their dynamic boils down to "STRONG, INDEPENDANT WOMAN who wears the pants in the relationship because her boyfriend is portrayed as a wimpy coward"? Like, the show constantly dragged Nino down to make Alya look "powerful" by comparison, and then when it comes to characters like Marinette, we get a girl who works very well outside of her relationship with her endgame love interest.

It's the fakest form of "girl power," dragging guys down to raise girls up or actually making a strong girl character but having her love interest be a weakness that creates flaws in her that weren't there originally and having that love interest be who she's "destined for."

I'm rambling, sorry.

In class, Marinette assures Alya that she did the right thing and Alya agrees. As they're leaving school, Marinette talks about how their "night walks" start soon, and Alya non-subtly talks about how Rena Furtive will be on the lookout while Ladybug and Chat Noir patrol. She stops, however, as gets excited about some pictures she took of herself as Rena Furtive, which has a lot of details that Marinette hasn't seen. I don't know whether to groan at what I just heard or remind everyone that Rena Furtive is literally just a recolor and therefore this is the writers patting themselves on the back for this design, so let's just move on.

Alya then shows Marinette her phone--AUGH, MY EYES--and suggests making a poll on her Ladyblog so people can vote for their favorite Rena design. Marinette has to stress again that Rena Furtive is supposed to be a spy and thus invisible, which Alya admits that she forgot about.

Okay, I've been holding off on talking about this, but now seems like the best time to bring it up. Alya has been a trash friend as well as a trash confidant, and her role as Rena Rouge boiled down to, "it was convenient for her to be the fox at the time it was needed." She's not particularly stealthy like one would expect of a fox, and she was easily one of the worst candidates to be told Marinette's big secret. I'll get more into this later, but I have to stress that Alya has treated Marinette no differently since learning of Marinette's identity and has already gone against Marinette's orders once before at the time of this episode airing. Episodes are constantly torn between validating their decision to have Marinette tell Alya, having Marinette be worried about the decision while the show considers her to be ridiculous for it, and then having Alya either consider or make choices that clearly don't gel well with what's good for her role. Much like Marinette, she lacks a sense of self-control and--wow, a female character who's impulsive, never seen that stereotype before.

Point being, "Sentibubbler" stressed over and over that Alya was the right choice and deserved to be both the permanent fox and the understudy for guardian, but then we have "Rocketear" here where Alya is making basic emotionally-driven errors that I'm not even remotely sympathetic to when Marinette has gone through so much worse over the course of three+ seasons.

*sigh*

Alya laments that it's hard to find new content for the Ladyblog - ah, yes, tell me more about your struggles, Alya - but figures that at least she can post stuff about Chat Noir instead of--I don't know--making fake Ladybug theories to lead people off Marinette's trail. Marinette says that it's a great idea, though Alya still doesn't look too happy. The scene then rewinds to a little bit to show a different point of view, this time with Adrien and Nino. Wait, this feels familiar, wasn't there another episode that did something like--ohhhh no, this is going to hurt.

After saying good-bye to Adrien - something I wish I could do every time he's mentioned or on-screen - Nino catches the bit of conversation where Alya talks about the Ladyblog. Nino talks as if Marinette isn't there and asks Alya out to the movies because Marinette is chopped liver and this is about Alya and how sad she is, guys.

Wow, she's turning into Adrien faster and faster.

Alya hesitates, but Marinette assures her that there's still time. Alya excitedly runs off with Nino and they watch what I presume are previews given the narrator, featuring recycled footage from the Ladybug PV. Nino is upset because Rena is mentioned but not Carapace, and the preview features Rena telling Chat Noir to forget Ladybug because it's Chat and Rena herself who are trulu made for each other.

I don't know what's funnier; the complete lack of self-awareness or the suggestion that a biracial couple would exist in this show outside of a special that gives them maybe a minute of screentime and acts more like suggestive canon anyway. I think I might've been too generous with that line about dinosaurs.

Nino is offended by the preview and Alya brushes off his comments, stating that it's just a cartoon and it's made to entertain people, though Nino himself is certainly not entertained. Can't say I entirely blame him considering that Alya doesn't really try to say anything substantial or even agree with him. No cuddling or reassuring kisses, she just gets slightly sad and turns to her phone for a bit.

After the movie, Nino is cheered back up again until he catches Alya on her phone once more. He offers to take her home, but she's distracted, and he comments that what she showed to Marinette looked pretty nice; I don't know because they didn't show it. Nino asks what it was and Alya evades the question, stating that her battery is running out. Nino is suspicious, but spots Andre's ice cream cart and the two head over there. Andre calls them his favorite couple and asks what they want, but Alya sees Ladybug gesturing for her and has to run off, giving Nino a cheek kiss as she goes which feels like too little too late at this point.

Nino catches some conveniently-placed kids arguing over who Chat Noir loves, but they settle on the fact that girls in general love Chat Noir. Nino is then seen at the Seine watching the Ladyblog's latest video, where Alya is talking up how amazing Chat Noir is. I hate to stop every five seconds to complain - okay, actually I don't - but I presume this video must've been made after the movie since Nino seems like the type who would actively follow his girlfriend's blog, yet not only is this video perfectly set up to echo the kids and the movie preview, but Alya - despite apparently caring about her boyfriend soooo much that she kept trying to convince Marinette to bend the rules - didn't even try to warn Nino or text him so he doesn't take it too seriously. It's like "Sentibubbler" with the conflicting messages about identity rules; Alya cares about her boyfriend but both isn't thinking about how he'll take the things she says and apparently doesn't know him well enough to realize that he wouldn't be mad over her keeping a secret that she was told to keep. I already talked about how they play up Nino to be the emotionally weaker one of the relationship, but then they don't have Alya try to cover or make up for that. She's been acting very much not like Alya - you know, the one who in "Sapotis" practically bragged about how great she'd be at covering for Ladybug - with her stutters and weak excuses, so I can't completely blame Nino for being upset after everything that's happened when he sees the writers projecting onto Alya as she talks about how Chat Noir is brave and funny and cute and showing all these images of him as well. I don't agree with all of his actions, but--oh yeah, speaking of which--

Nino calls Adrien and is talking to him about how Alya must be in love with someone else. Adrien dismisses the idea, as Alya and Nino are together basically all the time, and asks who she could possibly be in love with. When Nino suggests that it's Chat Noir, Adrien laughs and jokes about it being Fang instead. Nino points out the video but Adrien did see it but is overall unphased and convinced that it means nothing. Nino says that he'll find proof and hangs up, but Adrien is certain he'll find nothing. Plagg comments that Nino will find someone because Plagg's charisma has definitely contaminated Adrien.

Ugh.

Adrien expresses concern that he put on the cat's charm too much and accidentally made Alya fall for him, and decides to visit Alya as Chat Noir to be sure.

Meanwhile, we get a reference to film noirs as Nino narrates. That's the second blatant reference this episode and now I feel like they wrote this script while doing a movie marathon.

Chat Noir arrives at Alya's house and Trixx hides before Alya opens the curtains to reveal her surprise guest. Nino is nearby watching the scene with his phone as Alya wonders aloud if something's wrong. Chat assures that everything's fine, but brings up the video she posted. He insists that it made him happy, but points out that she's been following him and Ladybug since the beginning and that they know each other much better due to everything that's happened. He has some conveniently-worded dialog as he starts to say that he hopes something's just an illusion and Alya gets worried that he's about to bring up Rena. Chat continues and clarifies that he wonders if she started to feel something for him, though adds that he understands because just look at him.

UGGGGH.

Chat clarifies by making a heart with his hands, which Nino sees. Alya laughs at this gesture and states that she has a boyfriend, doing the same heart gesture and suggesting that her love for Nino is even more than that. Chat Noir apologizes - hm, I didn't know he had the capacity to do that - and hugs Alya, saying that he was just confused.

An absolutely unnecessary hug for two people who, at least in terms of their current selves, have had very little screentime together, but this is also the show where making eye contact basically means your friends and it's all just to push the plot along so Nino inteprets that Alya is in love with Chat Noir, so whatever I guess.

Alya states that Nino is far more irresistable than Chat, then adds that she doesn't even know his secret identity, and she'd never fall in love with someone she doesn't know. Nino then runs away upset and the scene cuts away to the next day where--

Wait, wait, wait, hang on a second. Two things right off the bat there.

First off, we're just gonna sidle past that "wouldn't fall in love with someone you don't know the identity of" while ignoring the existence of the love square? Not even Chat thinking about how he doesn't know Ladybug's identity and trying to excuse that he doesn't have to? This guy is that certain of their relationship?

Secondly, Nino is practically sobbing and Shadow Moth doesn't take this as his opportunity? Same guy who akumatized Mr. Pigeon 72 times and has akumatized Gigantitan more than once? What is this pacing???

But--alright, so Adrien comes into school and sees Nino, still dressed up in his detective gear, which gets ignored completely as Adrien goes to tell him about Chat Noir and Alya. Because the show doesn't know how Adrien would convey this within reason, Nino interrupts him, taking him down into the lower part of the school where he has a desk and chairs set up. Adrien goes to ask when Nino had time to do this, but Nino slams his hand on the desk to cut him off. Nino presents the evidence he took and they go back and forth, likewise with Adrien turning off the background music while Nino turns it back on. Adrien insists that it's a misunderstanding, but pleads innocent when Nino asks how he knows. Adrien states that Alya is just a superhero fan and that she and Chat Noir have nothing in common.

Again, the complete lack of self-awareness is astonishing.

Adrien repeats what Alya said about secret identities and how she wouldn't fall for someone she doesn't know - they're really ignoring this, aren't they? - and continues hitting Nino's soft spots about how unlikely it is until Nino decides to tell Adrien something he's not supposed to.

He tells Adrien, not only that Alya is Rena Rouge, but that he's Carapace. Adrien goes through a range of emotions beyond sAD for once, shocked at the fact that they know each other's identities. Nino states that they don't keep secrets from each other, except now Alya is with Chat Noir. Adrien still doesn't understand and brings up how secret identities have to be protected, or else Nino wouldn't have told him because Ladybug wouldn't agree to it.

Oh, here we go. So that's why they waited.

Nino states that it was Ladybug herself who gave them their miraculouses at the same time; not giving the reason why, of course, nor pointing out that they're temporary heroes so there's understandably some leeway. Adrien is having a moment, but manages to bring the subject back to Alya and Chat Noir, who he still doesn't think are a thing. Nino argues that it's because Adrien doesn't know Chat Noir, but he does because he's Carapace and knows how Chat Noir acts. He says that it's all flowers and confessions when Ladybug appears, but he gets rejected because Ladybug thinks that he's annoying, and she's right. He adds that Chat flirts with Rena Rouge and that's all that needs to happen, with Chat stepping in on the first mission Carapace lost in. Nino laments the loss of the love of his life and wishes to shut Chat Noir up forever; we all do, Nino, we all do. Shadow Moth finally steps in with - oh, less than eight minutes left in the episode, yikes - and Nino is akumatized into Rocketear.

Rocketear rejects Adrien's pleas to stop, insisting that Chat Noir is who he's after, not Adrien, and Adrien transforms in sad fashion despite Plagg's reminder of who Rocketear is after. Alya, meanwhile, is in the art club with Marinette - wait, since when was Alya in the art club - telling Marinette about how Chat Noir thought she was into him due to the video, which Marinette groans at. There's an earthquake and they peek outside to see Rocketear firing his tears at Chat Noir, shouting that he stole Alya from him. Chat Noir tries to tell him otherwise, but Rocketear won't listen.

Alya groans at Nino doing this, then she and Marinette set off to find a place to transform. They conveniently go to the same place Adrien and Nino were, so they see the desk that Nino had set up.

Genuine question, how seriously does this episode want me to take itself, because now when I recount all the unnecessary love square drama in my head - because you know that's where this is going - I'm going to have to think, "Nino, dressed in a detective outfit, ripped off his fake mustache and told Adrien both his and Rena's identities, and also that Ladybug was totally cool with it and thinks that Chat Noir is annoying."

Gettin' two completely different vibes here. The episode clearly wants to be important but it doesn't take itself seriously either, which it totally could while including enough jokes to keep things light. Instead, I'm just left scratching my head and wondering what tone they're going for.

Marinette finds Nino's phone on the desk - I'm calling continuity error on that one because he at no point put it on the desk, at least not on-screen - and she questions Alya on the video she sees. Alya insists that nothing happened, apparently completely unphased by her boyfriend having spied on her, and says that he wouldn't have misunderstood if he'd heard the actual conversation.

The two transform and Ladybug immediately uses Lucky Charm, receiving a projector. Ladybug is clueless and Rena Furtive suggests creating an imaginary movie like Nino. Ladybug gets an idea, remembering Alya's earlier comments, and Rena confirms that she remembers every word of it.

Aaaaand, just like that, all of the tension has been completely sucked away. You know, "Backwarder" was a trash episode, but at least when Ladybug was showing every step of her plan, she didn't tell us what it was.

Meanwhile, Rocketear and Chat Noir are still arguing--I started zoning out at hearing the same thing over and over again at this point, so I just presume they were fighting over who does stuff behind their love interest's backs better; I don't think they came to an agreement but they're both losers anyway.

Chat Noir says that he'll prove his innocence, tossing his baton aside to show him giving up, but Rocketear points out that it proves nothing and strikes Chat Noir with his tears.

Our endgame love interest, everyone. Straight As yet about as smart as a sack of bricks, and that at least won't flirt with anyone non-consensually.

Chat Noir makes a point that he doesn't want to hurt Rocketear, and Shadow Moth tells Rocketear to take his miraculous before finishing him. Chat Noir can only weakly tell him not to before Ladybug snags Rocketear's wrist and diverts the shot. Ladybug explains to Rocketear about the projector and how it'll let him hear the audio of the recording he took. She adds that she doesn't know what Chat said, but she trusts him.

Marinette, I'm sorry, I feel so bad for you.

Ladybug turns on the projector and Rocketear relaxes at actually hearing what was going on. Rena then de-transforms and hurries out to meet with Rocketear, hugging him as Rocketear apologizes for doubting her. Alya also kinda sorta apologizes in a way I don't understand and Rocketear then breaks his akumatization, very casually, all on his own.

Yeah, just--casually, in a matter of seconds in fact. You know, it's really sad when people resisting akumatizations are more tense and emotionally compelling than them breaking them. This is twice in one season now and has zero impact considering that Nino's reason for being akumatized was already taken care of so he had no reason to stay akumatized anyway. Him breaking his own object to release the akuma would've at least been different, but instead it's just a repeat of what Alya went through with even less tension considering that Alya's wasn't even that good in the first place, relying on her relationship to Ladybug rather than who she knew to be her best friend.

Moving on, Ladybug captures the akuma and uses Miraculous Ladybug to bring everything back to normal. Shadow Moth monologues about how love and secrets don't go well together and he's sure that she has a lot and I'll talk about this later.

Ladybug hands over the magical charm, which Nino takes but insists that he won't need it, as he'll never let Shadow Moth use his love to manipulate him again. Plenty of other things to get akumatized over, but they gave the supposedly ace character a robot to help him stick out and also gave the supposedly aro character a miraculous back in season one to give her more importance. If characters aren't in love then they need something to ceompensate for it.

Nino apologizes to Chat Noir for being wrong and Chat Noir assures him that everyone has doubts, even him. He gets sad and Ladybug asks him what's wrong, but he insists that he's fine - officially throwing away his right to be upset at her later as far as I'm concerned - and they do their usual fist buuuuu--

...Really?

Everyone then splits up and Chat Noir sulks by himself instead of--you know, talking to Ladybug, or asking her anything, or making any sort of excuse for her because that would mean he actually has faith in her and understands that their partnership is different from temporary heroes, even if the excuse was as basic as her wanting to protect him more than the others because he would be that egotistical if they didn't want to stretch out this unnecessary drama.

Later on, Adrien is staring at a picture on the Ladyblog that might be a metaphor for the show considering how "in the foreground" Chat Noir and Rena are.

Adrien vents about Ladybug giving miraculouses to Alya and Nino, but Plagg states that she's the guardian. Adrien clarifies that he's referring to Alya and Nino knowing each other's identities, but Plagg doesn't see the issue. Adrien gets huffy and asks why the rule exists for LadyNoir but not Ninya, but Plagg again points out that she's the guardian, so she makes the rules, though obviously he uses cheese metaphors to convey it.

Okay, Plagg is only, like--half-right because he doesn't have all the information. If you don't mind me rambling for a bit, I'm on the fence here because, on one hand--yes, I agree that Marinette should be allowed to make her own rules, and I often do that in my writing because I think she should be permitted leeway in order to let herself be happy, but on the other hand, it's not technically her rule, as she had to let Alya and Nino in on their identities back in the Season 2 finale, so Fu was still around for a season. She wasn't even guardian yet!

Now, presumably so the fandom could blame Marinette if anything happened, Marinette never discussed this with Fu on-screen, so I can't say whether or not Fu knew, but I feel like he must've since Marinette had to have told him the heroes' identities off-screen, given "Party Crasher," and thus I imagine that Marinette would tell Fu everything that happened, which is consistent with what she does on-screen even if she'd keep things from him for a little while.

"Furious Fu" had also established that not even Master Fu followed rules completely, meaning that Marinette is in this awkward spot of mostly following what Fu taught her, which aren't all guardian rules anyway, and having to break the rules on occasion for various purposes. I can't say what Fu approved of and what he didn't, because episodes spend so much time on the love square that they forget about Marinette as a person and how she interacts with everyone else. From an emotional standpoint, I can't blame Marinette for not revoking the miraculouses of people whose identities get discovered because of her, as I imagine she feels guilty and it probably doesn't seem fair to force them into another miraculous or have them be entirely without one because of a mistake that she made, meaning that someone needs to be throwing a lot of red flags for Marinette to be through with them.

Though obviously, from the show's standpoint, it's just an excuse to not make new models, but I complained about that enough in "Sentibubbler" and this episode even went out of its way to design a detective model for Nino while spraypainting Alya's bodysuit in the same breath, so this is the world we live in.

Anyway, Marinette is essentially in this position where she still has Fu's rules hovering over her, but she's also trying to step out on her own and make her own decisions to varying degrees of success or failure depending on your point of view. Tikki--wait, no, bad idea--Su-Han then, could easily give input on these things, perhaps with Marinette discussing a modern day set of rules for someone her age and going back and forth with Su-Han on what the right choices to make are, finding something that's comfortable but within a realm of predictable control. Su-Han was okay with some rules being broken after seeing how Ladybug handled them and they could've easily made this episode about that instead, but instead, we get rules being set and then being broken on a writer's whim.

Which now brings us to the end of the episode, where Marinette is on the phone with Alya and apologizes for causing trouble between her and Nino. Alya tells her not to worry and she'll fix things - you know, those things that, to Marinette's knowledge, have already been fixed - and asks if Marinette trusts her. Marinette does, and Alya hangs up in order to face Nino.

Yeah, that feeling of dread in your stomach? That means you know how predictable the writing is and what's about to happen, good for you.

Alya explains that she has to tell Nino something and he's worried, this time trying to sheepishly break the tension. She explains that she's still Rena Rouge, much to Nino's shock, and adds that she's in hiding, which is why Ladybug didn't want her to tell anyone. Nino asks why she's telling him if she's not supposed to tell anyone - proving my point from a while back that he wouldn't have been upset had she kept it a secret - then asks if Ladybug agreed with it.

I want to give him a pat on the back for considering Ladybug, but he didn't even tell her when he had the chance that Adrien knows his identity now, so I'm just beaten down at this point.

Instead of answering the question directly, Alya says that she can't hide her identity from him because she loves him and they don't have secrets.

You know, like Nino telling Adrien about Rena's identity, or Alya saying specifically that she's a permanent holder, which I'm sure both of them will confess to since they said that they don't have--aaaaand the episode ends on happy triumphant music, okay.

I mean, I guess Alya at least didn't tell him that Marinette was Ladybug, but that is such a low bar and not even remotely worthy of congratulations when Alya told Nino the specific thing that Marinette told Alya not to tell; the thing that they had agreed on.

Nino wasn't upset anymore. He won't be getting akumatized either. Alya endured the supposed hardship of being a permanent fox holder for four episodes before breaking down and telling her boyfriend. Even her excuse doesn't hold any water because, again, they're both still technically keeping a secret, particularly Alya who knows Marinette's identity as Ladybug. The episode also apparently forgets that Alya and Marinette's friendship must not be as strong by her logic of telling Nino specifically everything, as Alya kept Rena Rouge a secret from Marinette for all of Season 3, but tells Nino about continuing to be Rena Rouge in Season 4. Boyfriends before BFFs without explicitly saying it, or to be more specific, whatever screws Marinette over the most, because that's what this comes down to, made worse by "Optigami" where Marinette told Alya that she'd tell her everything and I guess that doesn't go both ways.

"Sentibubbler" had Alya stress that no one would ever know. She promised Marinette and told Marinette to trust her, and the episode spent its entire running time talking her up and assuring Marinette that she was the right choice, even considering Marinette ridiculous for worrying when Alya had done something without Marinette's permission the episode right before it. Then, three episodes after "Sentibubbler," when Marinette is finally comfortable and trusts Alya completely, Alya betrays that trust. Nino betrayed that trust, knowing he wasn't supposed to do so but telling Adrien his and Rena's identity anyway, because he was losing an argument and needed to PROVE something.

Marinette gives them an inch and they take a mile. Marinette bent the rules so that they could continue to have the miraculous they'd started with and they disrespected her because it was hard for like a day.

And if this bites them back, it won't reflect poorly on them, it'll reflect poorly on Marinette.

It's not like Alya just overrode Marinette. She didn't go, "Hey, I'm telling Nino, I'm sorry," or tried her hardest to go back and forth with Marinette until they both agreed. No, she did what she told Marinette she wouldn't do without saying a word to her, because LOVE and SEEEECRETS.

And this only applies to her, of course, because don't think I didn't notice the parallels between this episode and "Truth," because WOW.

Episode begins with Marinette hoping for something and it blows up in her face? A date at the cinema that ends on a sour note? Plot-centric couple trying to get Andre's ice cream and the female with a secret needing to leave in a hurry? Boyfriend character getting akumatized over their girlfriend's secret? Boyfriend assumes/suggests that the girlfriend's secret involves Aaaaaadrien - or his alter-ego in "Rocketear"'s case - and the episode hints as much to him even though he's completely wrong? Akuma's colors are blue and black? THE BRIDGE?

But, ahhh, little difference, here and there, y'know, like how Marinette was forced to break up with her boyfriend while Alya got to keep hers, and Nino got to have long talks with Alya while Luka got little to nothing with Marinette.

Because do note that Alya, while trying to convince Marinette and talk to Nino about not keeping secrets, at no point suggests that Marinette deserves to be happy and deserves to have a boyfriend and that Marinette should be allowed to tell Luka her secret so they can get back together, so you have Alya here selfishly prioritizing her relationship with Nino while making no comment about Marinette's relationship, essentially asking Marinette to allow her what Marinette herself didn't have the luxury of, and Alya knows this because Marinette told her. It is both incredibly insensitive of Alya and incredibly insulting of the show to make so many parallels between this episode and "Truth" just to have everything crash down for Marinette because she's Marinette while everything goes well for Alya and Nino because they're not Marinette.

We've talked before about the formulas that are literally baked into the show, and one of those is how Marinette makes a mistake in every episode and has to learn from it. What that mistake is in this episode, I don't know, but considering that she apologizes for Alya and Nino's problems, I guess the show blames her for what they themselves had taught her.

Point being, there's a clear karma system in place, but it only applies to Marinette, and forcing her to mess up in every episode means that she is literally not allowed to be with Luka because had she been able to clear things up between them, he would've eagerly accepted her and they could've been happy. It'd be too difficult for her to mess up when Luka doesn't put mountains of pressure and expectations on her like everyone else. Factor that in with how she can be herself around him and it leads to situation that are too difficult for her to screw up in because her mistakes - more often than not - center around Adrien or her role as guardian.

And because another rule in the show is to bring up Adrien so they don't "lose him for too long," she can't avoid bringing him up either. If he's not in the plot, he has to be mentioned, leaving Marinette in a lose-lose situation that she'll never be free from.

So, let me just get this straight then:

The guy who spied on his girlfriend instead of talking to her about his assumptions gets to keep his girlfriend, not because he realized it was wrong regardless of whether he was correct or not, but because the situation had been cleared up for him, yet the guy who actively resisted his akumatization, saddened by his girlfriend's secrets but wanting her to share them when she was ready, gets broken up with and tossed to the wayside because he's not a rich blond boy who got a miraculous because he happened to be within the twenty meters of space where Fu was searching for new holders?

Meanwhile, the girlfriend who has gone against the wishes and insistence of her best friend - guardian of the miraculouses, by the way, so she calls the shots, something that Alya herself said in "Optigami" BEFORE GOING ON TO DO HER OWN THING IN THE SAME EPISODE AND BEING REWARDED FOR IT - is allowed to go against the wishes and insistence of her best friend again for the sake of "all love, no secrets" with her boyfriend and so she can have the happy ending she wants, yet the girl who was chosen for a miraculous without her consent, forced to screw up and talk about a random boy who doesn't even go out of his way to spend time with her, treated like absolute trash by writers who find humor in her misery, and is the only one to receive overly harsh and long-lasting consequences for her actions while also covering up and forgiving the actions of others within the episode where they do it...

doesn't get her happy ending, and won't ever get her happy ending. That thing Shadow Moth said about love and secrets not going well together? Yeah, only goes as far as the writers want it to, because both Nino and Alya still have secrets, and some of the ones they did tell each other were forced by someone else and kept until that very moment. This idea that people in love have to tell each other everything and that it makes a relationship stronger makes me immensely uncomfortable, and that lesson is also in "Guiltrip."

People should be allowed their secrets, and obviously there are exceptions for things that are being hidden with malicious intent, but being essentially forced to share everything or risk not having a "full and complete" relationship is stifling and sounds like it'd only cause stress.

This episode sucks. It furthers and confirms everything I've already thought about the show, Nino's screentime continues to be dependent on Adrien, Alya, or both, there are pointless references that completely take me out of the experience, and the utter betrayal from Alya and supposed message of the episode just reminds me that Marinette is inevitably going to be stuck with a guy who didn't even DO anything in this episode and is going to let himself stew instead of asking for any sort of clarifications from someone he apparently trusts so much.

So the takeaway is that Marinette's life is awful, she'll be forced to apologize for rules that she didn't even come up with herself, her best friend will walk all over her for the sake of her relationship with a guy - not even for the sake, really, they were going to be fine, it was more for HER personal comfort if anything - and the guy who actually makes Marinette happy and could've known her identity instead BECAUSE HE AT LEAST DIDN'T HAVE A TRACK RECORD OF SPILLING HER SECRETS gets treated in the exact same way that she does; like nothing, just something to abuse unfairly.

What a waste of an episode.

[court-of-forever-undone]

I Knew You’d Come Back to Me

Chapter Two: Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you (Cardan’s POV)

Summary:  While homesick and heartbroken in the mortal world, Jude finds a pile of letters on her doorstep that include an official pardon and a love confession from Cardan. What is supposed to be a happy reunion quickly falls apart when Jude is told Cardan has returned to Nicasia in her absence. 

Cardan is determined to make it up to Jude. 

**This fic is inspired by the love story between Taylor Swift’s characters Betty, James, and August.**

Should you wish to listen: Cardigan | Betty | August

Tags: Multiple POVs, angst and a happy ending, Jurdan, post-wicked king, canon divergence

Masterlist

Read on AO3

Four Months Post Exile

If she has decided that she wishes to stay away and forget about Elfhame, me, then I will forget about her as well. Except that I can’t because for the eternity she has been gone there has been nothing to rid my thoughts of her.

I grab the nearest pitcher of wine, not that they are ever far from my reach as of late, and swallow as much of the tart liquid as I can. At least if I pass out there is a chance I may dream of her, or dream of losing her. But it is a chance I am willing to take.

There is a revel happening, for a reason I cannot remember. Probably honoring some guest that I cannot be bothered to care about at this point. I tend to the kingdom as best as I can for the day, but by the time the dawn is rising I do everything I can to forget the subtle human features that haunt me. The curve of her ear, the flush in her cheeks, the softness of her form.

Since she has been gone there has been an unbearable ache in my chest that only seems to worsen at her memory. I’ve taken back up with a variety of powders that I grew accustomed to at Balekin’s parties. The numbing sensation is highly preferable to the agonizing dread that awaits me in sobriety. At least when time passes differently, I can imagine that she is home again, or at the very least, I can pass more days until she returns.

Her return seems more and more uncertain because despite my letters, she has not come home, nor even responded to them. She has made no inclination that she intends to return, which is ridiculous because she is the queen. When she returns I will have to remember to remind her of all the accusations she threw my way at neglecting responsibilities, meanwhile she has spent months in the mortal world as if waiting for me to come bring her home myself.

I grin at the idea. A trip to the mortal world could quickly end this ridiculous torture. At least I would have the chance to see her in the flesh.

She could get her anger out and then return home with me. At this point, a curse from her lips would sound like music and her fingers curled around my neck would be ecstasy.

In time, that anger might turn to forgiveness and we can all move on from this nonsense.

Present Day

What a dreadful day today has been. I should have returned to my chambers the moment I was given news of a wine shortage because poisoned wine had been found in the castle’s cellars, because that meant I had to suffer through the small council’s bickering mostly sober, followed by hours of grievance hearings from folk. For a kingdom full of people who find me utterly incompetent, they sure do make plenty of pleas to the crown.

Only one hour remains until I can leave the presence of my court and scout for my own wine to drink, poisoned or otherwise.

“Cardan…?” Nicasia said with the air of a question.

I respond with a non-committal sound before glancing in her direction to my left. Again, she had found a seat nearest mine, despite my repeated reminder that she was no longer entitled to that spot. We were nothing beyond friends with a bit of history, even if my entire council, mother, and Nicasia herself thought it was ridiculous to prolong a “land-sea” alliance any longer.

I turn back to the conversation I had been ignoring and make an appropriate response, before quickly tuning them out again. Courtiers have nothing better to do than waste my time.

Admittedly, I could see my advisors’ point and I haven’t exactly fought to deny Nicasia’s advances anymore. Not when the one I want has rejected me entirely, favoring a mortal over me and forsaking our kingdom to my inadequate rule.

If I were a kinder soul, I might have been content to see her happy and adjusted to the mortal world, but I am not. I hate myself for sending her away and I hate her just as much for not wanting to return. Every time someone suggests I marry, I want to scream the truth for the entire kingdom to hear.

I married the mortal Jude Duarte. I did it so she would release her hold over me, but I also did it because I wanted to. I wanted to make her my queen and share this dreaded life with her; the powerful, defiant, occasionally murderous, human woman with all her soft features and perfectly odd ears.

Pride be damned. If she returned, I’d allow her anything. She would never need a geas to command me. She was already a ruler, she deserved the credit. The court would eventually adjust to the idea of a human ruler once they recognized her rule. I would lead the most devoted of her court and in our bedroom, I would further prove to her just how devoted I was by spreading --

Nicasia’s hand sliding over my knee snaps me from my thoughts. The touch of her hand felt sickly wrong considering my thoughts of Jude. I brush her hand aside and purposefully ignore the hurt look on her face. I may allow her into my room on nights where even the wine and the powders cannot bring me peace, but she knows I am far too sober and there are too many people around for that.

At the edge of my peripheral I see a dark shadow approaching. The Roach; always a welcomed distraction usually armed with wonderfully bad news.

“Come to tell me of another attempt on my life?” I murmur as he bows down to whisper in my ear.

“You are needed at once, your majesty” the goblin reports.

At that, I laugh but make no effort to move. “There is a first for everything. What is it?” I am happy to use whatever matter it is as an excuse to leave, but I am curious what requires my attention that the spies could not handle themselves.

“Jude has returned. She is waiting to see you.”

His words hit like the hilt of a sword to the chest. I stand, jumping the courtier closest to me.

“I have matters to attend to. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” I say to no one in particular, trying to ignore the loud pounding in my ears as my heart threatens to beat out of my chest.

I begin to follow the Roach out of the room when I feel a hand on my arm.

“What is going on?” Nicasia asks, her eyes wide. I shake out of her grasp.

“It is a matter of great importance that does not concern you.” Instead of moving away, like my body demands to, I move in closer to her so only she can hear me. “I meant my words in the gardens. Do not show up this evening or any evening again.”

Her mouth fell slightly open as water rimmed her eyes. I didn't stay for her response, instead I turned back and followed the Roach into the tunnel, knowing every step was bringing me closer to Jude. As we stalk through the hallways, I cannot slow the questions bombarding my mind.

Did she decide against her life in the mortal world? Did she miss me as I have missed her? What should I say to her? Will she allow me to embrace her? Should I announce her return tonight?

I have envisioned dozens of scenarios of what I would say or do when she returned, but now that she is only a few steps away I have no plan past seeing her, holding her if I can, to make sure she is real and not my imagination come to life.

We take the final turn that I know leads to the headquarters for the Court of Shadows when Livier blocks the doorway.

“Where is she?”

I watch as her face contorts. She opens her mouth to respond before closing it again, clearly unsure how to answer. I don’t have patience for this. I have to see her now.

“Move Livier,” I demand.

How many months has it been since we had fallen asleep together after our vows? How long has it been that I’ve felt her pressed against me?

“Cardan, wait!” She exclaims as I try to move past her. “She doesn’t want to see you.”

I stop dead at her words.

Before I can speak, the Roach asks for me, “What do you mean? She sent us to get him.”

The pixie nods. “Yes. She went to the royal chambers, but she returned soon after and has stated she does not wish to speak.”

I cannot help the bite to my words. “To speak to anyone, or just me?”

Her silence gives me my answer. “Why?” I spit out.

She is on the other side of the wall. It has been months, what about my room could have made her decide against seeing me? A darker thought crosses my mind; what if she has decided to return to the mortal world again? The idea threatens to break me then and there in the dark tunnels beneath the castle.

Livier looks at her companion with unease.

“Why?” I demand again.

The Bomb swallows before explaining, “When she returned, she asked how long you and the Princess of the Undersea had been back together.”

My desperation melted into cruel pitiful laughter. She was jealous of Nicasia, while she had herself a human plaything. The hypocrisy was grand. I wonder how her face would look when I asked about the man and how she could possibly blame me when she broke our vows first. My laughter quickly fizzled into a frozen anger.

I needed to leave before the weight of the situation could bear down on me. In all my imaginations, I never predicted this. I had hoped she’d run to my arms or more realistically, slap me followed up with a kiss. But never returning and refusing to see me.

I want to beg to see her. Beg for her forgiveness. Beg her to stay even if she hates me.

As a king, I have every right to go wherever I please. But as a queen, she has the right to deny entry to anyone. So I turn in the tight hallway and take the turn that leads to my rooms.

She is home. She wouldn’t see me, but she is home, which meant I could fix this. She might not see me tonight, but I would win her forgiveness and maybe her love too.

****

After almost two weeks of announcements and planning, Jude’s coronation ball will begin soon. I have still yet to see her in person, but through messengers and letters she agreed to rule with me and begrudgingly accepted my proposal for a party to celebrate her return and status.

The actual coronation will not take place for another few weeks due to the time needed to gather all the court’s representatives, but this evening would be a full celebration nonetheless. She is home and that enough is cause to celebrate.

The party will also finally force Jude out of the shadows. I suspect she has moved around the castle quite a bit as I heard she met with her sisters and the Living Council, but she has made a careful effort to avoid me.

There have been several times where I have made it all the way to her door before deciding to leave and giving her the space she demands. For months now, I have had dreams of the moment we saw each other again; I have imagined her vulgar words and sweet touches. Tonight is the last night I can imagine because in a matter of hours I will see her again. For the evening, she will have no choice but to stand in the same room as me. I already announced her as my wife and Elfhame’s High Queen. After this evening, she can avoid me outside of official business, if she wishes. It would be devastating, but no more devastating than how it felt when she was gone.

I pace back and forth in my chambers thinking through all the details of the evening since I have nothing better to do. I dressed long ago in a suit twin to the dress I had sent for Jude. If I thought the last dress I designed for her was stunning, I am not sure I’ll be able to survive seeing her in tonight's creation. I gave the tailor a sketch of a silver gown with a fitted bodice and twin streams of fabric that flow from the shoulders. The hope was to create an illusion of the armor she seemed to favor. I doubt the tailor will disappoint and frankly, Jude could wear an old sack and still be devastatingly beautiful.

Before long I receive the signal to head to the ballroom. As I enter the room, I admire for the first time the servant’s efforts to fulfill my image for the evening. The decoration for a typical revel was nothing compared to the fanfare visible this evening. Long strings of lights and streamers hung from the ceiling and sweet and savory treats of all varieties are piled high on trays. The musicians and other entertainment for the evening are already in full swing keeping the guests happy and amused.

As is customary, the party has been going on for some time now, before the king and now queen enter. The center of the space is filled with revelers dancing and singing. At any other party, I would have gladly joined, but I cannot help the pooling sense of unease as I glance through the crowding looking for a particular face.

I do find the face I am looking for, but not the right person. Taryn is standing on the side of the dance floor chatting with some courtier. Locke is nowhere to be seen, which is for the best. If I notice him even causing Jude to frown this evening, I will have him locked in the dungeons for the night.

I occupy myself with some wine while I wait and use the opportunity to boast of Jude’s brilliance to anyone who decides they wish to speak with me. After about a dozen of these conversations, I finally catch a glimpse of her walking into the room with Vivianne at her side.

My Jude.

I admire her with total abandon. She is absolutely stunning. The movement of her steps causes the fabric to shimmer as it flows obscenely over her body. While I will imagine her in this dress for many nights to come, it is the crown that sits atop her head that captures my attention.

The crowd cheers at her arrival and many bow to her. While she keeps her emotions well concealed, I can see the smallest of smiles appear on her face. She enjoys the recognition. Seeing her now, if I could have given her this from the start I would have.

My heart-stopping queen.

I stay to the side where I am and watch her enjoyment from afar. She dances with her sisters from time to time and speaks to members of the gentry with ease. I know she has noted my presence, even if she has yet to look in my direction. When it is time to address the crowd, it is my turn to avoid her direction. I keep my speech to the folk short, enough to praise her and remind anyone who may be considering treason exactly who Jude Duarte is. At the final toast, I steel myself before addressing her directly.

“Welcome home, Jude.”

Our eyes meet for the briefest of moments, burning with a million unspoken words before she breaks away and turns to address the now-growing crowd around her.

It was the first time she acknowledged me since the morning I sent her away and suddenly the emotion behind that realization hits me all at once. I let my eyes linger on her turned back a moment longer, before downing my drink and disappearing into the gardens to wallow in my own self pity.

I told myself I would be happy if she just returned home, but now I realize how badly each moment I spend away from her aches. In school, I hated the way I longed for her. I had chalked it up to being a disgraceful obsession; one I would have been glad to be rid of whatever that meant for Jude. Now, I am equally obsessed with my mortal queen, but rather than having just my thoughts occupied with her, I feel a feral desperation to be near her, to set things right with her.

It is not uncommon for me to be followed, but when I hear soft steps behind me, the last person I expect to turn and see is Jude. Her brown eyes widened in surprise, as if she was not the one following me. We both stare at each other for a half a second too long, before Jude mumbles something and turns to leave. I take her by the arm before she can take a single step away. I won’t let her get away a second time.

“Ask me how hideous you look tonight,” the words tumble from my mouth before I can stop them.

She turns back to face me. I loosen my hold on her arm, but let my hand linger until she decides to brush it away.

“This again?” She asks, sounding more tired than annoyed. I didn’t realize how much I missed her voice.

Desperate to hear her again, I reply, “I can’t. You look like a knight from a story tonight.” A filthy story, perhaps.

Jude’s cheeks pinken as she shifts away from me. If I wasn’t afraid to lose her, I might have found her unease at my closeness cute.

“I’m glad to see the kingdom is still in one piece.” Jude acknowledges, changing the subject away from her. The distance between us feels infinitely greater than the foot of space physically separating us. I’d give anything to embrace her now.

“I had help,” I state simply. It is the truth. The Court of Shadows kept tabs on everyone, friends and enemies, and the Living Council for all the headaches they cause me, they did their job as well.

“Nicasia?” Jude didn’t try or simply failed to hide the accusation in the question.

I sigh heavily and take a seat on one of the garden’s benches. “Ahh that. Yes, it is about time we talked.” I motion for her to join me, to which she refuses.

“I don’t want to hear anything about the two of you. I understand we married out of political strategy, I won’t hold you to human standards of monogamy.” Jude echos my sigh, “After your letters, I thought… Well, I misunderstood the situation.”

My core twists at the way her voice trembled on the words. When did her pain stop being cruel amusement and instead became a twin knife that hurts us both?

“I meant every word in those letters” I murmured softly. How many times had I imagined this conversation before?

Anger burns across her face, “So, what? You got bored of waiting for me to return from the exile YOU-” she jams her pointer finger into my chest hard enough to bruise, “ordered! Maybe next time make sure your letters are actually delivered or perhaps don’t send me away in the first place.”

I stand, challenging her anger with my own. “You think I wouldn’t have waited? I went to bring you home. I saw you dancing with the mortal. Don’t pretend I was the first to stray.”

I expected more anger, denial perhaps, but not... confusion?

“What the hell are you talking about? I haven’t been with anyone else,” Jude yells exasperated.

“The blond male. I came to see you and…” I trail off when Jude laughs suddenly. “What could possibly be funny?”

She covers her face with her hands, shaking her head side to side, “Cardan, you saw me with a friend. Nothing ever happened between us, ever.”

Shame washes over me like a tidal wave. I had returned from that trip thinking Jude had made her decision to forget me and stay behind. I had walked straight into a revel and drank every drop of wine in sight. Nicasia found me a few hours later laying in the grass outside the castle and when she came near I did the one thing I thought would make me feel better.

Nicasia had been the first to notice me, my first real friend then lover. After Jude, I thought she could be the thing I needed again, but I was wrong. It didn’t take long for me to realize it would never be as it was before because my heart still belonged to Jude. If I had only spoken to Jude that night in the mortal world, none of this would have happened.

“I believed the reason for your continued absence was because you were still mad. I thought I could go to the mortal world and convince you to come home, but I saw you with the mortal man. I did not handle the thought of you with another well. Nicasia was there when I got back and… I let her into my bed, but it was you that I thought of every moment you were gone.”

Several emotions ripple across her face before she quickly schooled her face into the impenetrable mask she wears around others. She wears around me too. I continue before the fear of her rejection can stop me.

“There are no tricks within my words, so please hear me when I promise you, Jude, mortal High Queen of Elfhame, it is you I love. My heart is yours and forever will be. There will be no other’s, and if you choose to have me again, it will only be you.”

I raise my hand to cup her face and watch as her eyes flutter close. My name falls off her lips like a plea and I think it might be the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. I lower myself to meet her soft lips. Her hands soon find the front of my jacket and I don't fight when she tugs me closer to her.

Without breaking the kiss, I use my free hand to grip her lower back and pull her back into the garden seat with me. On my lap, Jude opens herself up to me and I greedily take in more of her, missing the taste of her. I can’t help but continue to caress her body with my fingertips, long after we break to catch our breath. I place a series of kisses along her neck, each more drawn out than the last before I speak the cruel fact still on my mind, “of all my terribleness, the worst thing I ever did was what I did to you.”

It hurts knowing I can speak those words aloud. I reach up to wipe a stray tear that has fallen from her eyes.

“Will you have me again, Jude?” My heart pounds in the wake of the question. I watch as she considers it. Truthfully, I wouldn't blame her if she refused me, but it would be torturous to have her so near and not mine.

Slowly, she gives a subtle nod and I don’t hide my sigh of relief. She stares at me for a second longer, before smiling, “I love you, Cardan."

I capture her lips again, finding her more addictive than the sweetest wine.

“My sweet nemesis, how glad I am you have returned.”

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