#genderfluid men

[indio-politics]

I don’t give a fuck if I make white women uncomfortable. It’s not my job as an Indigiqueer to make myself palatable, small, quiet, and center the comfort of my oppressors. This world is unsafe because of the actions of white women just as much as it is because of white men. Black, Brown, and Indigenous men shouldn’t have to mask and assimilate to be viewed as the non-threatening man of color. But sadly that’s our reality. I wish I could say something inspiring like “be loud! take up space! make those crackas uncomfortable” but that could get us beat shot or killed.

[genderqueerdykes]

i got to thinking about something i said... going to turn these into prints, stickers, shirts, buttons, etc. soon. thought folks might like this, i'm way more pleased with the design than i thought i would be (: consider adding more flags too!

happy pride to everyone who refuses to be cisgender (or cissexual!) in the face of a world that demands we bow to their needs. we do not owe anyone cisgenderism or cissexuality- we owe it to ourselves to be who we are instead.

you can buy these prints here on a variety of items!

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[placeboelysium]

Each of these was recommended by a different friend (can you tell I drew the t-shirt Harrys like weeks apart)

Forgot to include the reference for the first one:

[midwestemokilledmygrandma]

they/them is not an all-inclusive pronoun that you can use to refer to anyone just because it is gender neutral.

the very basic sentiment of "don't misgender people" seems to go over even the heads of trans people and cis people alike when it comes to they/them pronouns.

not everyone wants to be called they/them. if someone strictly uses she/her or he/him or she/he or neopronouns etc. anything that is not they/them.... using they/them would still be misgendering. in the same way calling someone who doesn't use any other pronoun that pronoun would be misgendering.

You don't get a free pass to call people whatever pronouns you want to call them rather than the pronouns they use just because they them is a gender neutral pronoun.

also not all nonbinary people use strictly they/them pronouns or they/them pronouns at all.

i feel like this is very simple yet is misunderstood by a lot of people

[my-midlife-crisis]

[dragoncuspid]

Gay ass 😒😒😒

[gigifluidcat]

How I feel scrolling down the Queer tags only to find out it's mostly just porn:

[rouge-the-bat]

ribbons of genderfluid rage

[justdavina]

Such a pretty transgender woman!

[isabellascarlett1]

All Trans men are men, but not all Trans men aren’t women.

All Trans women are women, but not all Trans women aren’t men.

Gender can be far more complex and less binary for many folks 💗

[genderqueerdykes]

trans men are trans. if you hate trans men, you are transphobic.

if this is difficult for you to parse, start from the beginning of this post and read it again until you digest it.

you can try to 4D chess yourself into thinking it's okay to hate trans men and that somehow doesn't make you transphobic, but you're being transphobic by definition whether or not you think you are, and nobody fucking cares whether or not you think you're transphobic: you are.

[blorpingtonn]

Reminder that you are not inherently a terrible person just because you're a man/masculine. You're not disgusting, you're not a villain.

[dayangaytransman]

Pride events (and also the whole plot) in Queer movies are like:

No pets

No POC

No trans

No Bi

No Ace

No Polyamorus

No children

No straight looking guy

No Ally

No Enby

Only Cis Lesbian and Gays

Are you telling me those gays can’t have a fucking friend who is queer in another way?!

And also, most trans people are lesbians and gays.

We need the entire community represented in movies.

[purple-raspberries]

Genderfluid Julie, again! Named Jules because the name is right there!

I like to think he changes his voice a bit with the help of Sally, who calls him Julian or Julius (so Greek sounding).

Eddie and Frank are already friends with him, so they love him already, which makes the thought of friend crushes (also called “squishes”) very possible. Like when you have a close friend and you’re hanging out as usual, but you’re suddenly confused if you like them more than just a friend or if you just really like them as a person (platonic).

[thehealingsystem]

It's so wild to me that as a community we're still so hostile to multigender and genderfluid people existing in gay and lesbian spaces.

You...are aware that people who are both men and women are allowed to be gay, right? And lesbian? Their other genders doesn't cancel their connection to womanhood, or manhood, or whatever else they id with. They are allowed to be gay despite their fem-alignment, and they are allowed to be lesbian despite their masc-alignment.

It comes from these weird online spaces that the standard to be gay or lesbian is to be a "non-woman" or a "non-man," which is inherently transmultiphobic and...extremely ahistorical. And completely misunderstands nonbinary identity. So if you're both then you just don't belong anywhere I suppose.