#misgendering

[fubkakky]

Holy fuck! I heard about this, but it was retold in a post somewhere and I didn’t follow up on how accurate it was.

I wasn’t expecting an “old white guy” to be the one who wasn’t going to take any bullshit.

You won’t see this every day but making sure the system cannot proceed unless women have a seat at the table is the best possibly thing you can do in a place of privilege.

[takemetodragonstone]

the therapist misgendering situation has escalated from she/her pronouns to her calling me a “girlie”. on a completely unrelated note i think every nonbinary person should get a free pass to kill someone of their choosing with no consequences if they deserve it

[drmajalis]

Brb going to wotc to get this card printed and included in every pre-con

Let's just say I had a bad experience at mtg today.

[imstillalexcomic]

I get “sir”-ed a lot, but it’d be kind of weird if I didn’t right now. 

My hair is still pretty short and has been affected by male pattern baldness a little.  Despite my laser hair removal treatments on my face and neck, I have ton of white hairs which laser doesn’t remove, so I’m often sporting a snowy goatee.

I look like a dude.

A dude with a bit of a chest, but a dude nonetheless. 

I’m not going to pretend that getting called “sir” doesn’t bug me now that I’m almost a year into hormone replacement therapy.  It does, and every time it happens it serves as a reminder that I don’t pass.

…but I am feeling better and more confident every day, so after letting my feelings have their needed attention, I go back to my silly self.

I deserve to be able to keep my head up.

We all do.

[gendermuddledenby]

Detrans Me Notes Game Challenge

17/03/2025 - 17/03/2026

So. I decided to join in on the Notes Games I've been seeing around the place. 😳

I've been thinking I'd like to test expecting people to try more interesting ways of upping the note count though, hopefully turning the post itself into something fun for everyone else to be engaging with itself, not just the knowledge I'll be doing everything the hit Note Goals say. [Thereby upping the note count as more people engage with it...]

PLEASE READ EVERYTHING BELOW BEFORE ENTERING THE COMMENT SECTION

(I will be honest about this and stick to my promises here because the point of this game is me enjoying being ‘forced’ into accepting these consequences. I myself chose to put them on here. Nothing I've included has been coerced in any way. I'm a consenting adult who has decided to do this challenge specifically because I've found I really enjoy degradation and handing over control in certain ways. Forced Feminisation - especially through brainwashing - is apparently a big one, so feel free to go as hard as you like on anything listed here which gives you any level of control over how feminine things I get end up being or how much I'm being hypnotised into behavioural and mental modification. And obviously do try to get these notes up; I'm excited to have no choice but to do these things, even the big, riskier goals at the end. I know I firmly say 'this is just a kink' all the time, but engaging with this post specifically hoping it changes me is fine. I really want to test the line/experiment a little and see if my brain can resist that much conditioning and still feel masc-leaning nonbinary at the end, or if that identity is shaky and easily remoulded into a more feminine form. 😳 The risk of actually being pushed over the line is part of the kink here this time. The only exception is that I will NOT be stopping my Testosterone until I have the voice I want. I may play with people encouraging me to go off it, but going off it suddenly without consulting a doctor is dangerous and I'm not doing that for kink. And if my mental health starts to take a real life hit, I will be either pausing the game on my end or closing it entirely. My safety comes first.

Transfemmes please DO feel welcome to comment NSFW directly toward me on this post. [See my Pinned for why this is relevant. My personal limits are complex for trauma reasons, but I've decided to try opening up a little with this game as part of getting the fuck over it because most transfemmes are wonderful people and my fear is disproportionate and ridiculous. Help me relax and enjoy it again if you feel comfortable doing so. If you always follow boundaries, you are a safe person. It's as simple as that.]

Please only post sexual comments directed straight at me like the type I've suggested below if you are 25+. I've explained this in my Pinned. You can like and reblog if you're 18-24, and please do if you want to,  but please also stay out of the comments section itself unless you're directing your comments at someone else other than me, it's a not-direct-kink suggestion for the Notes Goals like ‘what if you do this thing for longer to make the stakes higher’ or something, or it's SFW in nature. Interactive goals I want only 25+ year olds to interact with will be marked as [25+ Only] at the beginning. Please feel free to interact with/follow any that don't say that.

ALL ages above 25 are welcome to directly engage me in kink. Yes, that includes dirty old people. I'm almost 30; I've pretty much reached the most sexually mature I'm going to get as far as I can tell. You're doing nothing wrong interacting with me sexually. I know what I'm doing and I doubt even more age can take that any further now, but feel free to talk to me in DMs first if you want to test how mature I am to feel sure I know what I'm doing with myself.)

MINORS DNI ENTIRELY OBVIOUSLY - LEAVE THIS POST ALONE AND GO BACK TO YOUR OWN SPACES

SPAMMING IS ALLOWED, HOWEVER, THIS GAME HAS RULES TO HOPEFULLY MAKE IT A LITTLE MORE ENGAGING:

1. NO Daddy/Mommykink, Ageplay, Inc*st, Scat/Piss/etc, Rimming mentions, or any type of Anus/Urinary Tract To Mouth, thank you. I reserve the right to those hard limit boundaries still. Ykinmkato of course. I'm not saying this to shame you. I just need it kept off my post. [If you manage to come up with something else I didn't know existed and it turns out to be a hard limit for me, I'll just add it on here/my Pinned limits list and your comment will be deleted but still counted with a ‘Good for one note’ comment from me in its place.]

2. No single numbered comments or the same comment over and over again or single word comments, or anything else you think of to make this too easy and quick or it won't be fun for anyone. Every sentence must be complete. You can send one sentence per comment if you want to be facetious, but they must be complete sentences; no breaking them up to double your note count. BE CREATIVE. Everyone does lazy spamming. I want to make something new with this. 🧐 [25+ only] If you can come up with multiple comments with each taunting me in different ways with how you'll go about making this get lots of notes quickly, your usual repertoire of kinky detrans ideas, etc - go for it. :D You can degrade and belittle and misgender and demoralise me to your heart's content in there, just focus on fun and let the note count be a secondary bonus. [You can approach it like posting about the same kinks and ideas in multiple different ways on your blog if that helps. If you can write 50 different posts about forcing a fakeboy to suck your cock, you can do the same in my notes to keep things fresh, interesting and exciting]. Don't you want to keep me in suspense, always nervously checking the notes to see if they've gone up again? Half the fun is making the game last and steadily making me do more and more... keyword 'steadily'....

3. Each comment must be original, at least in the sense that you as an individual haven't said it in the comments yet; other people having said it is fine and your version still counts.

4. Each comment will be counted as a note even if it's in a reply tree, so feel free to talk to each other as well, just stay relatively on topic even if you’re not talking about me specifically.

5. [25+ only] Surprise me. Amuse me. Delight me. DEGRADE ME. Talk about how these things will turn me into a girl no matter how much of a game I'm treating it or other things along those lines or whatever else you can think of to really drive home the forced feminisation theme of this game. Go about your day, think of something else, and come back into the comments to share it. Attack my psyche and question why I'm doing this. Am I doing it for fun as a sure-fire nonbinary with a kink or do I just secretly want permission to be a girl? Try to convince me of it. This is consensual kink. Go for your life. [If it accidentally crosses a boundary I forgot to lay or didn't clearly communicate then I'll just delete it and write a comment in its place saying ‘Good for one note’ since that was still a note and should count toward the game. This will only be done if the comment definitely doesn't violate already existing limits listed here.] DO feel free to talk about me like I'm not even there reading all of these. [Just remember boundaries because I will in fact be reading them.] DO misgender me in the third person. Speculate on what my deadreal name might be and why you think it suits me. Talk about what you want to do to me/how you would forcibly detransition me if you had more control than I've already given you here and compare notes with others [25+ only] etc. Just because I won't do something irl doesn't mean you can't taunt me with the idea of it, like making me go without my IUD to an orgy and get men to creampie me and don't take a plan B. Talk about what a coward I am for not going off T and how much better I'd feel if I just stopped taking it, etc. Whatever you like. Just have fun with it. :D This is about all of us enjoying degrading me through forcing feminisation onto me/talking about most things to do with that even if it's not a goal on here, and me having fun being ‘forced’ to do these things. I want to come into the comments both horrified by the note count and actively intrigued by what people are saying to me/about me to others. ����

Don't just spam random sentences/focus solely on increasing the note count. Enjoy yourselves. Get creative with it. The note count will go up just fine. :D

6. [25+ only] DO actively try to bait me into replying to you. Every Note counts, including my own. 😥😳

7. OH AND REMEMBER TO REBLOG FOR REACH. Also, there's a very special goal set for 500 notes involving reblogs, and if you get REBLOG note count up high enough I'll have to say a LOT of extremely feminising lines including calling myself my deadname. Just think, if you get me hundreds reblogs I'll be saying "My name is ...." so much I might accidentally deadname myself when someone asks my name...😰

NOTE GOALS:

Every 10 Notes - I listen to one round of Mistress Lillith’s Passive Feminisation track with a vibrator on my clit, edging myself while touching both of my nipples. [Countering with Passive Masculinisation is allowed. For now...]

Every 25 Notes = People get to pick their favourite/whichever tracks they like of detrans/feminisation/bimbofication hypnosis from anywhere and I have to listen to them all the way through, with people submitting them specifying if they want me to close my eyes for it or watch a spiral. [I'll pick and listen to one for each 25 notes. So if, for example, I get 10 sent to me in the next day or so after this reaches the first 25 notes, I'll be listening to them over the course of 250 notes. Up to you if you want to send those to the comments to be counted for further notes or send me an ask if you want to include a specific spiral you want me to watch while listening etc]

Every 50 Notes = I shave and keep my leg hair to feminine smoothness for another week.

75 Notes = I listen to a Mistress Lillith feminisation or bimbofication file every night before bed for a week. [Safety File allowed. This time…]

100 Notes - I listen to every single one of @ confusedcunny's detransition audio files [excepting Detrans December as I want to do that in December if I do it at all] in one night, edging the whole time. I'm not allowed to cum until the end. When I am close to cumming I have to say “My name is …. “ and then my deadname as I climax. The files will have already made me say it repeatedly too.

200 Notes - [25+ only] I will put a handful of lingerie pictures up as potential purchase options in a poll and people can vote on what I get. I'll send a picture of the lingerie as proof I got it when it arrives.

300 Notes - I have to wear feminine clothes all day. I'm allowed to avoid contact with anyone in my general life while I do this and just stay home, but I'm not allowed to take any of it off until bed time.

400 Notes - [25+ only] I have to look at a spiral with my vibrator on my clit and state any mantras you guys give me (be mindful of listed boundaries!!!!), allowing a minute for each mantra. One mantra per person. Maximum of 15 because my attention span can probably only last that long with too much repetition. [You can send me spiral gifs too if you put it in an ask. If you decide to post the mantra you want me to say in the comments, please put it in "" and maybe even say 'Mantra:' before it if you like. You absolutely can send me your mantra BEFORE I hit 400 notes and yes those count as notes.😳]

500 Notes - I edge myself with my vibrator and have to say “I am female. I am a girl. I am a woman. My name is…” and then my deadname, while looking at a spiral. I have to say this once for every reblog note I get. I'm not too worried though because so few people reblog nowadays… 😅 UPDATE: Apologies for not making this part of the rules to begin with. I now have to take however many reblogs are done by the time I actually get around to starting this task. So the longer I delay, the more repetitions of calling myself a female/girl/woman AND my deadname per repetition you get to make me do. 🫣😳😰 And I simply don't have time today to finish that task, so as of this edit, you have at least 12 hours to pump those reblogs if you want... 😰😰😰😰 Let's cap it at say, 10 per person though now, k? So people can still have fun brainwashing me/I can have fun being brainwashed over time and over multiple angles of tasks rather than in one big hit, k?😰Max of 300. I do have attention span limitations to factor in as well. Sorry.😔

750 Notes - I play Mistress Lillith’s Passive Feminisation over my earphones, listening to it constantly in my ears on loop for an hour a day for a week regardless of what I'm doing, giving it plenty of chances to creep into my mind and make me more receptive to feminisation. [Countering with Passive Masculinisation is no longer allowed. 😥]

1,000 Notes - I'll get my ears pierced and pick the girliest piercing option to have to wear constantly for 6 weeks while the holes heal.

1,250 Notes - I learn how to do makeup and doll myself up. I can’t send any pictures of my face so I'll try sending a chin and lips shot only if anyone wants to see.

1,500 Notes - [25+ only] The first 5 people to notice I hit this mark and want to DM me to participate get to go on Temu and pick any feminine thing they want me to buy and use. Only rules are that we discuss my price range at the time (remembering that 4 others will be doing the same thing) and I get to ask for another choice if I know it won't fit me or will be a sensory issue etc. But I do have to let you pick something else and keep letting you until you find something that will work. I'm not allowed to reject it for any reason except for price, incompatible sizing options or likely sensory issues. [Edit: I'm thinking of saving $200 over the time it takes to get to this goal, and then splitting it up on a first come - 😜 - first serve basis. 1st person to DM gets $80, 2nd gets $60, 3rd gets $40, 4th gets $12, and the 5th gets $8. I suggest the last two look at jewelery as even the cheaper clothes tend to cost at least $13 from what I've seen. It's 100% up to you of course, that's just a suggestion in case you're wondering if you can even pick anything with that. Temu has some lovely jewelery options for often between $2-$10. Remember also I'll still be the one buying it. You're not paying or being given money; you just get to do all the fun parts. 😉]

1,750 Notes - I'll get a more feminine haircut like a pixie or something and I have to keep it like that for a minimum of 3 months. Who knows, maybe I'll like it and permanently keep it that way. 😳

2,000 Notes - I have to wear all feminine clothing and makeup while at home in private, no exceptions. Heels (unless I start experiencing health risks from them in my body), lingerie, skirt&blouse/dresses, jewellery and makeup. All day (other than when I have to interact with people but don't worry I'm still home every day for at least 8 hours of a nighttime even if I have a busy interactive day), every day, until the end of the year. If you want me dressing like this for something like 12hours a day for the next however many months there ends up being between time you get this post to 2,000 notes and the end of the year [17/03/2026], making me behave like the girliest girl I can possibly manage for over half my year, then you know what to do. 😥

3,000 Notes - I listen to Mistress Lillith’s Feminine Patterns and Heel Slave files - her most dangerously effective feminisation hypnosis files - all the way through every day for a week. [I've changed this goal because I found out Heel Slave is actually far more dangerous and also I get bored listening to files too frequently so I figure if I have to listen to all three once each every that not only keeps in the spirit of the original goal, but also makes it stronger due to Heel Slave being involved now] If you guys manage to get me to this goal by the end of May, I’m not allowed to listen to the Safety File either, exposing me to deep behavioural and mental changes which will last a while even once the conditioning and reinforcement have stopped, potentially turning me behaviourally and mentally into a girl for real until it wears off. 😰

4,000 Notes - I put together a few outfits and put them up in a poll, and people here can vote which one I wear. Then I'll wear that outfit out to a pub and sit there for an entire hour minimum while everyone there assumes I'm a girl and I'm not allowed to correct them about it if they talk about me with feminine markers. If you guys get me here by July and I can use my name non-legally while there, I’m only allowed to give my deadname.

5,000 Notes - I listen to every one of Mistress Lillith’s most dangerously effective feminisation hypnosis files - including Feminine Patterns - all the way through every day for 2 weeks, without listening to the Safety File… This has an extremely high and demonstrable risk of changing me into an actual girl behaviourally and mentally until it wears off. With this level of conditioning it will probably stick around for months. 😰

Every Note Over 5,000 - is one day I have to listen to one of MistressLillith's feminisation and/or bimbofication hypnosis files all the way through without listening to the Safety File. With this level of conditioning the behavioural and mental changes will stick around for ages. 😰

7,500: I have to wear a temporary womb tattoo constantly until it peels off on its own, then immediately put on a new one all the way through until the end of the Note Game Year. If I fuck people they get to see it right there on my skin and I'll have a difficult time explaining why I insist on being seen as masc-leaning nonbinary but have a very obvious womb tattoo right there making them question otherwise...😖😥😳 I am planning on hopefully dating again properly soon which means people will see me naked...🫣😥😳

10,000 Notes: I continue as above, but I have to start listening to Mistress Lillith's Resist Or Forget file before the day's main file. On top of this, for 3 days a week I get a little inebriated and wait until it fully hits before listening. I may still try to fight it [provided I even have any fight left in me by this point], but with the inebriation weakening my mental faculties - and after so much constant conditioning to submit and obey her voice, suggestions and commands already, let alone with a daily resistancebreaker file added to the mix - it's going to be soooo much harder, and soooo much easier and nicer to just relax and allow the hypnosis in like raindrops falling over a tropical ocean, eliminating any masculinity and driving the feminine transformation deep into the furthest recesses of my identity...

This is your chance to keep my brain constantly marinating in conditioned feminine behaviours and mentality for much of a year, and if I'm still fighting it by 10,000 notes, the inebriation and resistancebreaker file will whittle away at and eventually destroy it, leaving me wide open and completely helpless as all this conditioning and training finally gets its chance to break me completely and permanently take control. If anything is going to convert me back into and keep me a girl, it's this.

This Game ends a year from now. Let's see if I'm still masc-leaning non-binary by the end of it.

🧑😥😳😖😣😵😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🥵🤤😊👧

See link below to where I'm attempting to keep track of what I owe and will be crossing things off as I do them. Polls will also be linked to through here:

And track the overall results of this detransition training here:

If I hit Stage 7 my identity is probably lost forever...

🧑😥😳😖😣😵😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🥵🤤😊👧

[midwestemokilledmygrandma]

they/them is not an all-inclusive pronoun that you can use to refer to anyone just because it is gender neutral.

the very basic sentiment of "don't misgender people" seems to go over even the heads of trans people and cis people alike when it comes to they/them pronouns.

not everyone wants to be called they/them. if someone strictly uses she/her or he/him or she/he or neopronouns etc. anything that is not they/them.... using they/them would still be misgendering. in the same way calling someone who doesn't use any other pronoun that pronoun would be misgendering.

You don't get a free pass to call people whatever pronouns you want to call them rather than the pronouns they use just because they them is a gender neutral pronoun.

also not all nonbinary people use strictly they/them pronouns or they/them pronouns at all.

i feel like this is very simple yet is misunderstood by a lot of people

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I had a disembodied voice narrate and constantly misgender me as I tried to cook dinner.

[dumbcuntboy]

i'm doing a little notes game!!

100 notes and i'll put my deadname in my bio

200 notes and i'll buy a cute outfit of your choice!

300 notes i'll post an audio of me touching myself

500 notes i'll go out dressed fully fem and correct people if they call me he/him

my dms and asks are always open for more ideas 💕 i'll keep adding to this post

[bisexualgenderfemme]

we have misgendering (someone not gendering you correctly at all,) degendering (someone gendering you as neutral when you aren't or refusing to gender you at all,) & malgendering (someone gendering you correctly only to use it against you)

but we need a word for when someone has multiple genders (/ isn't monogender) & ppl technically "gender them correctly" but only /partly/ & only in the way they find most acceptable

mingendering maybe?

[mxjackparker]

Let's talk a little about why the phrase "prostituted women" sucks.

Here's an example of a radfem referring to sex workers as "prostituted women", demonstrating how this language is used to ignore sex workers' autonomy. The author uses this term for me, a trans guy who sells sex with no-one controlling me, to imply that selling sex is an action which happens to me instead of something I do. (The misgendering is unsurprising - TERF and SWERF rhetoric go hand in hand.)

The quote above is from an article I wrote, Pre-Prostitution Jitters, where I speak openly about experiencing PTSD and fearing meeting with clients. I talk about how past sexual abuse often prompts this response for sex workers who have it. This is treated as soft language because... I don't describe selling sex as "earning [my] livelihood by getting raped". Me choosing to sell sex, and being stressed or nervous beforehand, is treated as evidence that the sex I seek out and consent to is rape.

The term "prostituted women" exists to treat sex workers as if we are all women and are merely acted upon and make no choices for ourselves about our sex work. The phrase implies that a third party is controlling us, because otherwise who are we being "prostituted" by? Ourselves?

Do not be fooled by people who claim to be worried about sex workers, who won't even refer to us by the terms we prefer.

[radical-emo]

Misgendering someone is always wrong, even if its a bad person.

Misgendering a bad trans person implies that trans identity is conditional.

Misgendering Chris Chan and Ava Chris Tyson (who are both bad people) is transphobia.

Misgendering a theoretical trans hitler would be transphobic.

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

[incognitopolls]

Anon's left-leaning roommate once changed anon's pronouns on a sign to they/them even though anon is cis and uses she/her pronouns. She's curious if other people have encountered things like this.

–

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[suspiciouscatastrophe]

Okay. Maybe tonight is my turn to be a bully. Prepare yourselves. Here goes my bully take!

Struggling to gender people correctly because

a) you've known them for a long time pre-transition

b) they don't pass

is a skill issue in either case. Even if you love them and want to be an ally, even if you wouldn't misgender them on purpose – in that case it's not a failing of your morals, it's a failing of your literal skills and habit-forming patterns.

Hone those skills. Break whatever it is in your brain that ties them to their post-birth name/pronouns so strongly. Unlearn the rigid image of what "men" and "women" can and cannot look like. Carve the existence of people who don't fall into either (or fall to both) into your worldview.

Your trans loved ones will appreciate it so much.

[random-victim]

Real men are upset when called a woman; you just get wet.