#azer_posts

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Okay. Maybe tonight is my turn to be a bully. Prepare yourselves. Here goes my bully take!

Struggling to gender people correctly because

a) you've known them for a long time pre-transition

b) they don't pass

is a skill issue in either case. Even if you love them and want to be an ally, even if you wouldn't misgender them on purpose – in that case it's not a failing of your morals, it's a failing of your literal skills and habit-forming patterns.

Hone those skills. Break whatever it is in your brain that ties them to their post-birth name/pronouns so strongly. Unlearn the rigid image of what "men" and "women" can and cannot look like. Carve the existence of people who don't fall into either (or fall to both) into your worldview.

Your trans loved ones will appreciate it so much.

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So, I was curious... Czech trans people (or trans people from anywhere who medically transitioned in Czechia), let's all bind together in the name of curiosity and find out how many of us got a writing task from their sexologist!

Putting your answer and the name of the doctor in the notes is also appreciated.

[suspiciouscatastrophe]

I know, I know, the audacity I have barging into Czech Tumblr speaking English... (I have lost the ability to express myself comfortably in my native language) BUT this might come in handy to someone!

It'sssss... ✨ DOCTOR REVIEW ✨ time! (The trans kind. Of the sexologist sort.)

The subject of this review is MuDr R. Mužný (must be one of the top names for someone who can prescribe you T) of Fakultní nemocnice Ostrava. He's a sexologist currently accepting new patients.

My experience: I have only visited him once so far, so I have a concrete idea of his requirements to let you transition and his general attitude, but if something to add comes up in the future, I'll update and reblog the new version. It's also important to mention that I'm an adult transmasc, transfems or minors might have different experiences.

Attitude: The doctor's very young and seems laid-back and very friendly. He was affirming to me, and apologetic for some of the more sexual questions. He assured me that he didn't want to complicate my transition.

He didn't have any comments, derisive or supportive, when I mentioned having identified as non-binary in the past.

He thinks that even non-intersex people can transition. (yes, I was also surprised to learn about sexologists who don't)

He accepted a vague response to his question about sexuality. No need to pretend you're hetero if you aren't with this one.

He didn't seem to be against my ability to transition even though he was made aware I was autistic and had OCD.

Requirements: When making my first appointment, I mentioned to the nurse that I had spoken with a clinical psychologist about transsexuality before, and it led to them wanting a gender-related report from a different professional. I don't know to what extent is that a necessity, or if you can just come without any "recommendation" whatsoever.

Now here's the kicker: Dr. Mužný asks you for an essay (he calls it "životopis") in which you describe your relationship to your gender identity throughout your life, minimal length 3 A4s, written by hand. On top of that, it should include a written testimony from your PARENT. He also offered to invite the parent to come with me next time instead. I reiterate that I am not a minor, I'm in my mid twenties. The parental voice having to basically fact-check you if what you're writing about your childhood is true is, in my opinion, more than demeaning and terrifying. I voiced my disapproval and concern to him, to which he assured me that if the parent seems dismissive, unaccepting or simply transphobic, he won't give their words much weight. So at least there's that.

As for something positive, he doesn't do any violating, archaic physical examinations. (no physical examinations at all, actually) I was not asked to strip down.

The length of the real life test with him is 1 year. When he was answering this question of mine, he seemed to pause and ponder my case, since I came already fully socially transitioned (and had been for more than half a year), so there's a chance that it could be even shorter, if it turns out he takes your initiative into account.

The other doctors he sends you to are, as expected, an endocrinologist, a gynecologist (transmasc special, I don't know if transfems get sent for a "your genitals seem fine health-wise" paper somewhere, too, I'm sorry), but also a geneticist. (He told me that it was to complete a general patient anamnesis, but also to determine whether I was intersex. When I asked whether the result impacted my ability to transition, he said no.)

You may notice I didn't mention a psychiatrist. Neither did he. Whether that was because I already came armed with a paper saying that a clinical psychologist finds me sane enough to make medical decisions, or because he just doesn't do that (or forgot to tell me), I have no idea.

Oh yeah, and be prepared for the auto[insertgender]philia question. He will ask you whether transitioning turns you on and you will say no, because [even if you low-key think being trans is hot], your sexologist is not your friend and could only use it against you.

My conclusion so far: You could probably do worse with a sexologist, just make sure you have a functioning relationship with at least one parent and hope. My opinion might be object to change.

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A long post with a fun poll at the bottom! Skip to the poll if you don't feel like reading!

One thing I keep thinking about is the fantasy genre and trans people. Granted, I do think about each of them separately way too much already, but sometimes I think about them together.

Does your favorite setting have trans people? Or, if you're a worldbuilder, does your setting have trans people?

Wait! Don't run, this is not a call-out! This is not a post to tell you that you're a bad person if your answer is no. (although, you might benefit creatively from adding some, if that's the case!)

But if your answer is yes; I have another question! How?

Let me propose that there are two ways how to do transness, transitioning and gender variety (and sex variety) in fantasy settings.

1. "The Sex-Switch Button"

It can be a potion. (looking at you, Pathfinder) It can be a belt. (looking at you, Forgotten Realms) It can be a ritual done by a host of naked she-elves dancing. (looking at you, Forgotten Realms for some reason twice) The "button" isn't an actual button.

Nevertheless, it gets pushed – and poof, transition done. A body cis in all but history is the result.

2. "The Realism Way"

I cannot point at any particular settings, because I haven't yet seen any character in fantasy media transition this way. I'm not saying that they don't exist! I'm just saying that I'm familiar with way too few things.

However, "realism" here is an earnest effort to take methods of transitioning and apply them to the fantasy setting. Be it through magic (characters taking "HRT" potions or getting surgeries through forbidden fleshgrafting sorcery,...) or mundane means (binding, tucking, making home-made breastforms or packers,...).

And here's the kicker of the post: Personally, I'm really uninterested in the Button method. I wanted to go as far as to say that I disliked it, but fuck it, who am I do that? If a fellow trans person loves the idea, who am I to go, "Uhm, akshully, I find your fantasy really PROBLEMATIQUE?"

Because there are reasons why someone might really enjoy it! I know that for some people, if they could push a button and switch all their sex characteristics to the cis perisex version of their gender, they would not think twice. I'm sorry that it's not an option in reality, at least not yet, and I don't think that it's problematic, wrong, or bad writing to want that option to exist at least in your favorite fantasy world.

I really do dislike it when cis people implement it as a way to be inclusive of trans people in their work, though. And you – yes, you! – just got tricked into reading my reasons why! (which is, as far as I am concerned, the most important part of this post)

The reason it grinds my gears so much is that it trivializes the trans existence. It makes it into a condition with only a temporary effect on one's life. It's sparkly transmedicalism for allies. It will always fail to represent people whose transition goals include mixed sexual characteristics. It will only account for intersex people as long as they want to erase their intersex features. Non-binary people break the system completely.

It's also so eager to embrace trans people that it erases... transness. There is no place for trans bodies in a world where gender dysphoria is solved with a "cis-ifies you!" spell. So eager to show trans readers/viewers/players they're accepted that it makes sure no character claiming to be like them will ever have a body that looks or works anything like theirs.

It's the same logic with which some fans and authors justify their ableism. There's no place for disabled characters in a world with healing magic, and there's no place for trans characters in a world where magic allows you to shapeshift your sex.

And last but not least, in my humble opinion, the magic does nothing but removes the magic. The magic of being trans! There are as many different, nuanced feelings about transness as there are trans people in the world, but I think we can all agree that for a great many of us, it's not all just dysphoria and discrimination.

(you don't need dysphoria to be trans, btw)

There is love in seeing your presentation and your body itself slowly change. There is joy in building yourself from ashes. There is pride in feeling your scars, looking at those past pictures, and knowing your journey. There's beauty in traditionally trans features. Features, that we have learned to associate with being trans in any given direction. There is hardly any exclusive to trans people, no, everything you find on your body, a cis person somewhere has as well, but in us, they're a little more common, a little more likely. They mark the transformation. They're beautiful.

That's my case for preferring the Realism method! What do you prefer, and why? I'm asking with trans people in mind, however, if you're cis and feel passionate about the topic, go ahead, I'm not your father.

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The expectation to be physically strong (or at the very least as strong as the average man) is getting my ass. Rationally I know that your physical prowess or fitness has nothing to do with your gender or even gender performance (and to claim otherwise is extremely ableist and sexist), however I would lie if I didn't say that struggling with carrying things, opening doors and bottles doesn't trigger my dysphoria and make me think that nobody will ever take me seriously as a man.

In other words, I tried to open a water bottle and the only thing I achieved was to grate some skin off my palm. The bottle stands unconquered.

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Me, an intellectual: There is actually no way to speak or act like a particular gender. It is but a mirage of societal conventions and cultural tropes. Men can express themselves in all kinds of ways. Women can express themselves in all kinds of ways. Non binary people can express themselves in all kinds of ways.

The humble dysphoria on my shoulder: They ALL see you type like girl. You speak the girl-speak. Post anything, type out a message and you'll be clocked!

[suspiciouscatastrophe]

Me: I think I'm a pretty agreeable person, and I can be sociable.

Place: *has music playing from the speakers*

Me: No, actually, I am evil and I will bite anyone who tries to talk to me.

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"One day they'll see me for what I really am!" (motivational)

vs

"One day they'll see me for what I really am." (existential dread)

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I can often recall my dreams after I wake up, so with that being said, I'm pretty sure I mostly dream only of 3 distinct things:

1. My father coming back to life to fight with me for one last time

2. Hurrying to catch a train and getting lost on the way

3. Finally being on T

Cannot wait for the Ultimate Dream, where I will traverse the world on the train that I caught accompanied by my father who has finally gotten his testosterone prescription (we're fighting) (I steal his T) (the train leaves without me)

[suspiciouscatastrophe]

Things I wish to un-notice:

The it/its pronouns.

They don't follow the subjective/objective case pattern other pronoun sets do. The correct way to write down this pronoun set would be:

it/it

My pronouns are it it.

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Intro

In case I would ever return to active blogging, I wanted my blog to have a pinned post that would introduce me and my positions. Nothing extra, nothing fancy, nothing very helpful.

I am Azer. I'm 18+ and that might reflect on the subject matter of my blog sometimes, buyer beware. I mostly reblog, but it might happen that an original post appears from time to time. I usually keep my distance from engaging with Tumblr because I have OCD and this website is basically a minefield of triggers, but sometimes my curiosity and the want to self-express just overpowers my self-preservation instincts.

My pronouns are it/its and he/him exclusively.

My positions:

Queer identity discourse of any type is inherently harmful and only benefits those, who would see us all eradicated. It is just bullying in progressive coating done by those who have adopted progressive terminology without the mindset. That being said, no amount of me bitching about it will erase the discourse or its impact, so I feel the need to disclose my positions on the discourse topics I've encountered for the sake of clarity:

Lacking heteronormative sexual/romantic atraction is a queer experience. There is no such thing as stolen valor. Ace discourse did irreparable damage to our community. People's experience with their sexuality and gender is often complex and that creates space for "contradictory" labels. Not understanding something is not a reason for condemning it. Transandrophobia is a useful word for talking about bigotry against queer expression of masculinity. It doesn't mean that trans women aren't opressed or are less opressed, or that transmisogyny is acceptable.

Every trans person's existence is an affront to cispatriarchy, and thus all are affected by a mix of transmisogyny, transandrophobia and exosexism to varying degrees depending on their unique individual situation.

Transitioning is morally neutral and doesn't say anything about the validity of one's trans identity. Both transitioning and non-transitioning (be it by choice or necessity) people deserve to be represented in conversations about transness and respected.

Fiction impacts reality, but not on 1 to 1 basis. There is no moral weight to media consumption. Proshipper.

Online harrassement is not activism. Mockery is not activism.

Being a marginalized identity doesn't protect you from having biases and holding phobic positions.

Sex work is work and pornography is morally neutral.

Kinks and fetishes are morally neutral.

There is no such thing as thought crime.

Informed self-diagnosis is not harmful to professionally diagnosed people and is often the only way for someone to stop demonizing their symptoms, access community and develop more effective coping strategies.

People with personality disorders aren't "scary" or inherently abusive.

Feeling empathy is a neutral trait.

Body shaming is always harmful, regardless of the deeds or political opinions of the victim.

Abortion is morally neutral regardless of reason.

Children are a marginalized group.

ACAB

Cats always belong indoors.

Capitalism kills.

The only privileged minority are the rich.

Aside from politics and social justice, I like reblogging/posting about my interests, especially cats, fantasy media and DnD.

I have a running series of posts about gnomes of the Forgotten Realms setting (known for example from the Baldur's Gate games or the Drizzt novels) that I haven't touched for years, but might pick it up any day now:

The Forgotten Folk: All Things Gnome

For original posts, I use the tag #azer_posts.

Recently I have made myself a heavily NSFT kink side-blog for a little bit of sexuality exploration, and, well, out of sheer curiosity. If you're 18+ and interested in that sort of shit, feel free to have a look. If you run a NSFT blog of your own, I followed you and you want to check me out for a potential mutual, that's probably what you're looking for.