#fuck you ocd

[vroomvroomwee]

Wanting top surgery while having OCD is one of the most awful experiences.

Like, yes, I KNOW I'm non-binary, "Butwhat if you're actually cis and just confused?"

I KNOW I want the surgery. "But what if you don't, and it's actually the wrong decision?"

I KNOW that ultimately it will make my life significantly better. "But what if it doesn't and you end up regretting it?"

"What if?" OCDs job is to make you as miserable and unhappy as possible. Its purpose is to make you doubt yourself, morally, psychologically, in every way it can.

Fuck you OCD

And it's even worse when combined with autism and my fear of change

Not enough people are talking about this, so if anyone is suffering from this dilemma, you're not alone.

[hamptersadness]

tw sh

I saw a fresh barcode on someone today at school.

Don't even know them.

It hurts so much to see that.

My skin is burning so much, it wants it needs. But I can't. Im going to see my bsf soon and I can't mess up my clock. I can't do it.

But.... so images are flashing thorugh my mind.

I have sleeping pills next to my bed. Two years ago they would be locked up in my moms room. Now there on my end table, becuase I am trusted to deal with them.

I am so scared. So so scared. What if one day I snap and take them all?

I don't want to.

I need to see my bsf.

If seeing a fresh barcode on someone triggers me so much I can't imagine what my scars do to people.

I hate them so much. It reminds me of so many things. I hate it.

Everything is reminding about sh lately.

I don't.... I don't have my clock anymore. Its gone. Like I don't even know the day I last did it.

My brain is telling me to just do it to restart the clock.

Tell me not to. please.

[1337wtfomgbbq]

me: *about to post something*

OCD: That could be misconstrued as homophobic though.

me: *groans* Yes Ronnald, what do you want now? More money? A check? A car? My Soul?!

OCD: Okay, chill out, was just saying. Just warning you. You know, looking out for you.

Me: I can do that myself, thank you. Can I have the floor now?

[hismercytomyjustice]

Truly fucking wild how much I willingly want to practice piano now that my OCD is out of the driver’s seat with it. I’m enjoying it so much sans existential dread/panic.

Also made this new song I’ve been frustrated with practicing my bitch, so, yeah. Feeling pretty good lmao.

It’s so exciting to see how far I’ve already come when I’ve only been doing lessons for two months now.

[gophergal]

Guilt tripping people does nothing but cause vulnerable folks to spiral and make folks who dont live with moral OCD feel negatively toward your cause

[ghostslimu]

you will never be a bad person for not reblogging a post on tumblr, please remember that

[lucabyte]

A belief in Nominative Determinsim

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 131

Jasker is a dragon, sure. But he prefers his human form. He prefers pretty clothing and lutes over his scales and wings. He hasn't a hoard yet. He thinks. He's never truly cared for gold, though he knows that not all dragons have hoards of gold. That's just the default. What if he did have a hoard, and it just wasn't some boring old gold pieces? At first he thought his hoard must be his many exuberant outfits, but when he got into a scuffle and one outfit was ruined, he was disappointed but that was it. There was no anguish, no mourning, no big depressive meltdown over it's destruction... So probably not a hoard. Just an interest. He then thought it must be his songs. But when he heard a bard in some town playing one of his songs, he didn't erupt into scales and roars. He didn't burn down a city. He didn't even rip out his hair or anything. He wasn't even mad. He thinks you'd be more possessive and jealous over a hoard. He was mostly proud. The bard said it was a song he didn't write, he said it was by Jaskier, and he sang it quite well. But even if he didn't do any of those things, Jaskier would be mad, sure, maybe even mad, but never MAD. He thought of lovers being his hoard, but the thought went away very quickly. None of his lovers stay, and though it stings sometimes, he thinks he'd be flinging himself off a cliff if a treasure of his hoard literally got up and walked away from him. And then one day he meets a Witcher. The witcher looks at him with these piercing golden eyes, and Jaskier feels an audible shift in his soul, his being. He found it. His treasure. Maybe witchers are his hoard, and Geralt is just his first one. Maybe his hoard is just friends he meets. He doesn't know, all he knows is that he can't stop himself from staring at the gold of Geralt's eyes. Perhaps Jaskier does care for gold.

[antimony-medusa]

Incidentally, because I have been seeing some wild guilt-tripping posts today to the point that I'm kind of concerned, if you are not reblogging every post you see you are not killing your fandom, you are not a terrible person who doesn't care about artists, and you are not destroying the culture of fandom space in general.

I'm a huge fan of reblogging, I do it all the time because I am a gremlin who likes sticking pictures of my blorbos on the walls of my cardboard box, and I like showing things to my followers. It's the hold up blorbo to friends emotion. I encourage people to reblog and also have fun making their blog their own with lots of fun posts. But I also see thousands of posts a day and I can only reblog like 250 of them, and I'm not always on social media, and sometimes I see art that contains a character I don't care for, or stuff that is intended for another audience, or jokes that don't do it for me, and I scroll past. I am firmly convinced that that is not an immoral way to do fandom. I'm not here to be an SEO optimized marketing machine, I'm here to be unwell about the blorbos for a bit. I am not ascribing a moral quantity to the way I reblog posts.

Reblog stuff you like! Without shame! Take those 40 pictures of a movie you just watched and inflict them on your followers, go for it! But also if you just scroll and like you are not going to be struck down by heaven for your sins. It's literally fine to be a lurker. I know plenty of people who lurk on one site and engage and keep their fandoms spinning on others. You're fine.

[lastoneout]

you know sometimes you get a diagnosis after answering a lot of questions in an interview and filling out worksheets and screening questionnaires and having a test done, and that's all fine and dandy...

...but sometimes getting one is you explaining how you have this bone deep, incredibly fierce belief within you that you're a monster who should never be forgiven for the bad things you've done and how you always live in debilitating fear of causing harm because that's just what monsters like you do and then having your therapist look you dead in the eyes and say in the most compassionate yet confident voice "Yeah, that's OCD" which imo actually feels more validating than the tests and worksheets despite also feeling like having your soul yanked out of your body with no warning

[did-sm1-say-catfish]

yknow, i usually disagree with the trope of "this girl gets in the way of my mlm ship so im gonna make her an asshole and a villain" but with sam from house md?? fuck her man. she made fun of my disorder and ever since then i have been holding myself back from throwing a shoe at the screen every time shes on.

[hamptersadness]

So found a word for something that happens to me it's called wordnesia and it's when you repeat a word so much that the whole thing loses meaning.

Happened to me today and someone was like oh you're just playing around so I just spent 10 minutes on Google. This is not fun. OCD is not fun.

I can't even spell the fuckign word anymore.

Now I found an article about OCD and now my brain is like "you don't do that or that you don't have OCD" and I want to crrrryyyy.

[chaosfantasmic]

as someone who has actually played hw this is true I can confirm

art creds to @linkeduniverse (hey I remembered that time yayyy :D)

[local-limebug]

adhd is an emotional storm and NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT !!! like... executive dysfunction and forgetfulness and time blindness and all are a huge part of it and i see those being talked about all the time but no one fucking talks about the depression, the risk seeking, the hyperactive thinking, the things understimulation can lead to, like?? ADHD IS HELL. AND ALL ANYONE FUCKING TALKS ABOUT IS HYPERFIXATIONS.

[formulapisces]

reblog or <horrific thing will happen to parent>

reblog to get <specific amount of money>

reblog for <luck and something about a crush>

reblog if you aren’t <racist, homophobic, etc>

reblog or else <terrible tragedy happens>

reblog if you care about <obviously a good cause but is baiting you to look like a horrible person if you don’t reblog it>

SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP

[smokbeast]

(UPDATED) COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!

Hi hello hi! Commissions are open! if you are interested here is a google form below with all the info at hand about my commissions and workflow! If you have any questions my DMS are open to answer and talk it out, thank you so much, reblogs are extremely appreciated to spread the word as I would like this to be my main post for commissions from now on!

Busts sketches(colored/BW):20$ Fullbody sketches(colored/BW): 30$ Busts cleaned Lines(colored):30$

Fullbody cleaned Lines(colored):40$ Full Rendered illustrations:80-86$ (price range may change depending on complexity)

-an extra character counts as another illustration and will be a fee of the price doubled of what you have chosen. 

-There is an allowance of 3 revisions after the line art is complete, 

after that if you want changes, it will be a fee of 5+dollars for any additional changes after the line art has been considered approved.

-simple backgrounds are allowed for the Cleaned Flat commissions if the client so desires. 

-sketch commissions may be shaded in black and white or simple flat colors (no rendering). lineart commissions can be with or without colors if so desired.

-Illustration pieces are large entirely intricate rendered scene artworks with very detailed backgrounds and character.

-tips are optional and greatly appreciated!