#geralt loves his bard!

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Humankeeper's second chapter is out!

You can read it here! (and if that doesn't work, here's the link to the story but copy-pastable lol - https://archiveofourown.org/works/63921304) I wanna thank everyone so so so so so much for all the love this fic has been getting, it's a dream come true and it makes me so so very happy! Writing is so much fun knowing that there are people out there who get a giggle out of my words as much as I do! And now a taglist of people I think would be interested in the chapter! Let me know if you wanna be removed or added! No hard feelings for anyone who wants to be removed, I think AO3 emails you when my fic updates anyways lol GFP!!! --- @bakewrite @houseofcharobones @intermixforyou @acaciajules @elkstier-ryttlius @starrschaos @itendswithakiss @wintersshadows @turquoise-kitten @ahumoki0 @carrottheluvmachine @spooky0ats @alphabeticalcrabattical @jahakibe @akelafang

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 149

This prompt has been filled by me! Anyone can write more interpretations and I'd love to see them, but if you're a reader, here's mine! https://archiveofourown.org/works/63921304

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An alternate universe where everything is basically the same, except for that Witchers aren't taught anything about humans, and never truly interact with any. Witchers don't go into towns for contracts. Monster contracts are posted on boards on the outer border of towns. People must check back every day to see if the contract has a knife in it. If it does, it means the witcher is either out fulfilling it, or already has. The witcher will then walk out of the forest with proof of it's kill, you gift them clothing, food, weaponry, sometimes even a steed, and back away slowly. Geralt is a witcher. And the most monstrous of them, if you were to ask him. He has sickly skin, long unnaturally white hair, and those slitted yellow eyes of his. It doesn't matter. Roach doesn't care how he looks, and that's good enough for him. He's hoping this contract will give him some new clothes. He'd even take sewing supplies. His best shirt has a big gash in the sleeve. Which wouldn't normally bother him, he could deal with it, but Roach keeps trying to nibble on it. It's a contract for a bruxa. One that's apparently been causing a lot of issues for some "count." Disrupting parties and attempting to lure people away for the slaughter. Geralt has killed her, and has her head as proof. When he approaches the board with his proof, he sees two humans waiting for him. One of them sneers in disgust, and one of them gasps in horror, tearing up. Geralt presents the head, and then holds his hand out for his reward. The older human shoves the scared one at Geralt. The scared one stumbles as he's shoved, and looks up at Geralt with big, wet blue eyes. Geralt tilts his head and turns back to the older one. That one must be the Count. "Your reward, Witcher." "F- Father!" "Silence, Julian. I don't care what you do to him." The Count turns and leaves. 'Julian' looks at Geralt with fear. Geralt is used to that. Witchers are scary. "I- I thought Witchers only hunted monsters, why did you kill Emmaline?" "...This?" Geralt asks, holding up the head, and the human gags, but nods. "It was a monster. She was a Bruxa. A type of vampire." Julian stares blankly for a moment, before he erupts into laughter. Geralt doesn't usually see or hear laughter very often. He likes when this 'Julian' laughs! Oh, but the laughing turns to sobbing. "I should've known! Of course she didn't like my bloody songs! She liked my bloody blood!" The Julian cries, and Geralt feels awkward. He doesn't quite know how to make a human happy. This would be easier if Geralt were at his camp. He doesn't like being so close to a town. He needs to be in the woods. He scoops up his (apparently) Julian, and throws him over his shoulder and walks him back to camp. Julian is now sitting by Geralt's campfire, still crying, but now it's silent. Geralt sits down beside him. Humans comfort with touch, he thinks. He doesn't truly know. He awkwardly puts his arms around Julian, and it doesn't seem to working.... Aha! Because the tears are still coming! Geralt can fix that! Geralt leans in and licks the salty water away. Julian starts laughing again, and finally relaxes. Geralt did it! He's such a good humankeeper! Having a human around is difficult, but Geralt is quite happy with this new arrangement! Geralt smiles a lot more than he used to. His human is adorable, and he's funny! And Geralt is learning so much more about humans! But sometimes that's horrifying. Geralt learned humans need to eat every day, so Geralt has begun hunting more. Julian didn't tell him this fact, Geralt had to learn it by himself when Julian fainted one day. Geralt also learned that humans are delicate things. Julian tripped over a root in the ground and ended up bleeding! BLEEDING! Geralt nearly lost it, that day. He licked his scratch clean, and bandaged his human, and kept a grip on his arm the rest of the day to balance him. They're sensitive, too.

The night had a light breeze, or so Geralt thought. Julian was shaking, teeth chattering, breaths visible. Hm. Perhaps it was colder than Geralt thought. He drags the human over, making Julian let out an odd "whoop!" sound, and wraps his arms around him. Julian scoots closer before settling, wrapping around geralt.

Humans are also curious. Too curious. Julian followed him on a hunt once and almost got hurt. Geralt shouted at him, immediately felt horrible, and apologized, but made sure to let Julian know that Julian was the one who did something stupid. Geralt thinks about getting a leash to keep his human safe at camp, but he doesn't think Julian would go for it.

His human seems happy! Until he doesn't. All of a sudden he's walking slower, and constantly frowning, and he sighs every few minutes! It's driving Geralt crazy not knowing how to fix it! He's tried all the things that have worked before! He licked him, he hugged him, he let him pet Roach, he made him a bigger portion of food, but nothing is working!

"What troubles you?" "…Hm? Oh, sorry. It's just… I wanted to be a bard. Before." "Before?" "…My father.. Sold me to you, Geralt."

Oh yeah.

"…What's a bard?" "G- Geralt, you don't know what a bard is?" "No." "Why, it's simply the best career out there! At least for me. Bards make music. They travel the continent singing their sweet melodies and sharing their feelings and hope to every townsperson out there. Farmers and nobles alike love a good bard."

Julian twitters on some more about these 'bard' titles.

"How do you become a bard?" "Well, you need an instrument. I had a lute, once. And you write songs in a notebook or journal. And all you have to do is sing them."

Thus Geralt makes a plan. Geralt goes searching for these items, loots here and there, and he believes he has a perfectly functional 'lute' and a journal. Geralt has a journal. It's too full of monsters to be given to his human, though. His human deserved one just for his songs.

When Geralt gave these items to his human, his human started sobbing. Shit! But Julian insists it's "happy" sobbing??? That's a thing? Humans will also cry when happy? Geralt will take note of this.

Geralt's Julian is MUCH happier now! And he makes such nice noises! He sings for Geralt all the time now. He strums his lute, and sings, and when he's not doing that, he's humming, and when he's not doing that, he's excitedly chatting away to Geralt, and it all makes him so happy. His human is happy! He likes his little human friend. And Geralt now knows for sure his human friend likes him back.

"Though it hurt so much at the time, I'm so very glad my father gave me to you. I've truly never been happier."

It appears Julian's last humankeepers were bad at their job, despite being humans themselves. Oh well. Doesn't matter now. Geralt would never rehome him.

Thus comes Geralt's problem. Winter is coming. He needs to head to the keep. He can keep his human alive up the path, Geralt's sure of it. He's skilled in humankeeping by now. But the actual staying part is what scares him. What if when Julian meets the other witchers, he finds one that can keep him even happier than Geralt? What if Geralt loses his Julian!? It's just unthinkable!

[fimloly]

His wife <3

[ladyannemarie5]

Jaskier graduated summa cumme laude from the most prestigious university on the continent. He acts like a superficial and disinterested bard all the time, but from time to time he acts like what he is, a master of the 7 liberal arts: Grammar, Rhetoric, Logic, Geometry, Arithmetic, Music and Astronomy.

Geralt doesn't notice this until Radovid shows up.

Every now and then Jaskier would blurt out a nonsensical comment that usually isn't meant for anyone, other than Geralt with his great ear, to hear.

The prince, hears everything that comes out of the bard's mouth and it is surprising when he laughs at whatever Jaskier said to the bard's amazement. Most amazingly, Radovid responds with another nonsensical comment that makes Jaskier laugh.

Geralt looks at them with a frown. Jaskier stops his laughter and eagerly asks the prince if he has read the philosopher he was apparently quoting. Radovid launches into a story of how his private tutor forced him to read the philosopher and he subsequently became enchanted with the man's writings and read his work for his own pleasure.

The more they travel, the more that happens. It turns out that the apparent nonsense Jaskier occasionally spouted is actually quotes, references and facts from philosophers, poets, astronomers, mathematicians, etc., that he was taught in college or read himself. Radovid responds to each of them with charm and delight, because apparently, Radovid has read them all as part of his royal education.

Geralt is not jealous. He isn't. No matter what Ciri and Yennefer say. He just doesn't like being out of the joke, doesn't like both of them acting like others aren't there and having to listen to their academic conversations when no one but them seems to care.

He just doesn't like that Jaskier smiles like never every time Radovid quotes an old poet of yesteryear that no one but them has read, as if it's an inside joke, because there should be no secrets in their group. He also doesn't like it when Jaskier laughs so loud because that can attract monsters. He hates that Jaskier sits next to Radovid every night talking about boring books because they are mere humans and if something attacks them, then both will be in danger and Geralt will only be able to save one (cof cof Jaskier), it's simple strategy. And absolutely not jealous because the bard now asks the prince for his advice when he writes songs, it's just that was something that used to de-stress Geralt and now he can't sleep well anymore. It's simple comfort.

But it all finally goes to shit when Jaskier turns down Geralt's invitation to spend the winter in Kaer Morhen because stupid Radovid invited him to his castle on the coast where he apparently has the best collection of maritime astronomy on the continent.

Geralt spends all that winter stuck in the library of Kaer Morhen reading anything that might interest Jaskier other than bestiaries. He tries very hard not to think about his bard and the prince huddled in front of the fire looking up at the stars until late at night drinking wine, getting closer and closer and closer until…

No. He won't allow it. When he sees Jaskier in the spring, he'll be sure to casually mention everything he read in winter, he'll make a fool of the prince when Geralt shows his bard the ancient books he brought him from the Wolf school library (not that Vesemir needs to know what came out of his precious library).

He'll graduate summa cumme laude from freaking Oxenfurt if it means getting his bard's attention again.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

I second the "Jaskier and the kaer morhen moving company" tags from dearest @penandinkprincess I want to read a fic about Jaskier getting his strapping beautiful lads

Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting

[0dde11eth]

Chubby jaskier: *sitting and chilling*

Geralt: *comes and kneels in front of him and places his head on jaskiers belly*

Chubby Jaskier: what are you doing?

Geralt: ooh I just felt the baby kick!

Chubby jaskier: *trying not to laugh* I'm the baby and I WILL kick you, you ass!

[annmarcus63]

The first time Jaskier says it they're washing their clothes at a river. As always Jaskier is talking Geralt's brains out. The bard only says it to see if Geralt is paying attention “I love you.” As if one is commenting on the weather. The witcher, of course, is not listening. So Jaskier resorts to this strategy to know when it is convenient to be silent, when his witcher needs silence.  

"I love you. I love you and oh don't close my eyes to yours, my... sweet ? mmmh no, my dove... well your hair is white so...." but Geralt is lost in his thoughts even when he says he'll hear Jaskier's poetry, that ungrateful man! But Jaskier loves him all the same. 

He even whispers it in Geralt's arms, after a very satisfactory fuck "I love you" followed by the witcher's snores. Ugh! 

He even tries when Yennefer is there, flirting with Geralt with her indifference across the room. As always, Geralt's attention is on her, on her every move, and Jaskier is left like an idiot talking with Geralt, acting like he holds a small portion of him with the witch in the picture.

"I don't like it here, you know? That man, yes the one with the weird double chin, is looking at me like I'm a fine dessert, I sure am, but not for him. Only for you my dear, if you so want me. But no, oh no, you don't want me, at least not right now, you're not even here! You're there, yes! with your powerful, man-eater witch, she's a cannibal, dear, you should know that by now. But of course you don't care, you're not even listening! Why am I surprised? You'd not hear when I say that I love you, you bastard, or yes! there's a hole on your trousers right on your left cheek, we all can see everything, my darling, didn't take you for an exhibitionist” 

And then…

“I'm not, but this one was the only clean one.” Geralt says without taking his eyes from Yen. 

"That's not true, you have at least a spare pair of trousers. Wait... what?" Geralt huffs a laugh and the corner of his lips lifts in a mocking smile. So charming, the bastard. 

"Were you listening?" 

"I'm always listening, Jaskier." 

"Ha! that's not true, you see, I have a way of knowing..." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yes, but you wouldn't know it, because you don't always pay attention to me." concludes Jaskier like a petulant child. 

"This have anything to do with the last ten times you’ve said I love you to me at random times?" Jaskier's jaw drops like a fish out of water, panicking.   

"Did you listen all those times? Why didn't you say anything? you...you damn..." Geralt sighs and turns to the bard to cup his face in his hands, squeezing hard enough to crush the bard's cheeks. 

“Because I was looking for the right moment to say it back, but you're always ahead of me” Jaskier pouts and it's kinda cute. “Every. fucking. time”  Geralt growls after placing each one of the three kisses on the plump lips. 

"I love you, Jaskier" the bard huffs annoyed and frees his face form Gralt's grasp to say "yeah? well, I don't care, go to your witch, as you always does" 

"I love it when you get jealous” 

“What?!”

[carrottheluvmachine]

Jaskier: I'm starving! Geralt: You just ate. Jaskier: I'm wasting away! Geralt: You're fine. Jaskier: I'm dangerously underweight! Geralt: Your sides have fat rolls… Jaskier: :C Geralt, sighing: Fine. Here's a snack.

[feral-harpy]

I really want more fanfics of Jaskier saving geralt from some Bandits / Nobleman / other by lying that he is his witcher and wouldn't hurt anyone without his permission. And then he would have to prove it.

The whole time Geralt is planing how they could get out of this situation until he hears Jaskier calling him his and everything freezes while he feels his heart hammering in his chest. And in his mind he is like Fuck. He definetly felt something when Jaskier said that.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 140

"What?" Geralt asks, frowning, a furrow in his brow. "I turn into a wolf every full moon." Jaskier repeats. "How-" "You were always away on a hunt. You'd just meet me back in the morning." "...You were a werewolf this whole time?" "..Yes. I- I'm sorry, Darling. I never wanted to lie." "Why didn't you trust me with this? Did you think I would hurt you?" "No! I thought I would hurt you. I'm not myself on full moons, Geralt. I can't even remember them. All I know is that the moon raises, i feel this ache in my bones, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up the next morning, nude, with a full stomach of what is HOPEFULLY nothing gross." "...You've not transformed in towns, have you?" "No! Of course not! I'm terrified of hurting someone, Geralt! That's the only reason I'm telling you now! I got the charts mixed up, I thought the moon was still a week away, but it isn't, and we're near a town, and I need you to keep me restrained." A long pause settles between them. "You want me to guard you?" "Guard them. From me. Keep me trapped in a shack and- And lock it up tight. Chain me, hurt me, knock me out, whatever you must do. Keep me from being a danger. I never wanted to be a terrifying beast, Geralt." Jaskier says, with those damned wet doe eyes of his. Geralt agrees. Because he doesn't know a world where he wouldn't. Mere hours later, Jaskier is sat against a beam in an old rundown barn. He's tied up with rope, and chained on top of that. There are no windows in the barn, the door is fully barricaded and locked, and Geralt guards it. "You really should guard it from outside" Jaskier had said. "I'm not leaving you to do this alone. You never should have had to." Geralt replied. Thus, Geralt stands and watches as Jaskier pales and starts twitching. The moon is rising. "It's coming- I'm going to be a beast." Jaskier says with fear, before the transformation takes the air out of his lungs. Geralt watches in horror and awe as Jaskier's body changes, changes, changes.... In... Into a songbird? sitting on the ground is a fat little songbird. It easily hops over the ropes and chains, now much too lose to hold it. Him. Oh my gods. Jaskier's not a werewolf. He's a... were.... werebird... And not even a scary one. Jaskier starts pecking the barn floor and Geralt rubs a hand over his face in exhaustion. He prepared for the worst, and instead is treated to watching Jaskier struggle to bathe in a trough. "Jaskier, it's too deep." He tells the bird, as it fluffs up it's wings. "Jaskier, you're going to-" Jaskier tries to take a step into the birdbath, only to fall, dunking his whole fat little body into the depths of the trough. He flails about in the water, chirping panickedly. Geralt rushes to his aid, gently lifting him out of the water with gentle hands. Perhaps guarding over Jaskier will still be a challenge after all.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

omg... geralt is a baby confirmed

[casually-eat-my-soul]

The continent always wondered what was the last straw for the Witchers before they snapped and stopped. Before they united, together as one rather than live separately. Before they become one kingdom.

Some thought it was due to the fall of Cintra.

The hunt for the lion cub, the heir to the blue mountains and the daughter of the White Wolf. The girl of elder blood and magic of an ancient time. The hope of the new bloods and of future for Witchers. While Ciri is beloved by many Witchers, this was not what caused the divide between Witcher and human.

Other thought it was due to the white wolf, the warlord of the north. A man who brought all the Witcher schools together. Who brought enemies, brothers and strangers and banded them under one cause. And while Geralt become their king, it was not him who caused the turning point. Why would Witcher fight for a man who didn’t care about them. Someone, who even became myth among the legends of Witchers, he lived just the same as any of them. Who lived, fought and died on the path. Those who thought it was Geralt of riviera were wrong.

In reality, it all came down to Jaskier, the bard.

The man who sang of Witchers as heroes. Who gave them a story beyond monster. Touched them with the kindness that was not afforded to them. Who loved with all this heart. Someone who wanted more for Witchers than to die on the path, fight for people who hated them. A human whom defended, in all counts of what was know, Monsters. And whom expected nothing back. And when the Witchers learned that he was to be executed they rebelled. For the continent, may not have Jaskier, who was a home for Witchers. They had lost enough, they would not lose their songs.

And so it began. The greatest change of the age, all due to a man with a heart that could love a monster.

[ladyannemarie5]

Geralt hates to stop in taverns when traveling with Jaskier. He tells the bard that he hates crowds of people and that it's not worth spending coins on.

The truth is that he hates people crowding around his bard. Always without fail, when they enter a tavern, admirers of all ages surround Jaskier clamoring for his attention. Attractive men and women flirt with the poet.

When they camp outdoors, all the bard's attention is for the witcher, he will comb and perfume his hair, massage his muscles, sing just for him and at the end of the night, they will both share the sleeping bag arguing that it is too cold for Jaskier.

So every time they stop at a tavern, Geralt lets the bard act normally, but as soon as he starts getting too much attention, Geralt feigns a headache arguing that there are too many stimuli around him. Jaskier, without fail, apologizes to his admirers and takes Geralt to his room to bathe him and sing to calm him down.

Jaskier only needs people's coins, not their flirting. Luckily for the bard, his witcher will always take care of him.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

i am once again asking if it is possible to marry a piece of art

this post from @0dde11eth inspired me lmao

go through the notes on that post to find some of the continued inspiration :)

tl;dr sleep-cuddly geralt is a headcanon you can pry from my cold dead hands!

[iwouldhavebroughtyouviolets]

No because jaskier making jokes about geralt dying as a coping mechanism for them BOTH like the reason they work together and have lasted so long is because geralt NEEDS that lightness and the jokes and the downplaying how bad it is bc otherwise he gets too in his head he NEEDS jaskier to come in a joke about milking his death for at least three songs (and one epic poem) because they both know deep down that geralt dying would change jaskier as a person forever and so jaskier joking about it (IF geralt dies) is a way for both of them to take heart because geralt knows that jaskier just has this complete faith in him and THAT’S why jaskier makes the jokes because the alternative to jokes is too horrifying to even consider

[0dde11eth]

Ok but jaskier and geralt eating at an all you can eat rib restaurant

Faces smeared with bbq sauce, hands sticky and stomachs painfully full

Just a cute date night of sore stomachs and happy smiles