#from because I believed the exact same shit with 19

[grendelsmom]

No joke I'm gonna need West Germans to stop discussing East German politics on social media (twitter). We all know these results are scary and a sign of what's to come, but if you can't even tolerate one (1) evening not being about you- a person whose direct environment is not changed by these results - but about the very real lives and fears of (queer, poc, etc.) East Germans you need to actually burn your phone and never talk again. But hey man I'm glad you're getting some likes out of being a cunt.

And let's not forget: East Germany doesn't have a Nazi problem, Germany has. Let's not pretend for one second that a bunch of West Germans who vote CDU/FDP wouldn't vote AfD in a heartbeat, if they... you know... had no money like East Germans, who live/grew up in an economy that was in no small part actively destroyed in the re-unification.

[pit-2-podium]

Canada Quali Highlights

Q1

Watching people literally crane their necks to see if their is rain coming

there ain't a lot of grip

Stroll my dude I know your excited to be home but you don't need to be kissing the walls

And george goes off the track (and lewis??)

Mercedes you did something to your car and it was beautiful, leave it alone now

Then Yuki and Lewis impede oscar (its a pretty narrow area but still...)

"Come on they are being ridiculous" - Charles about who i believe is checo

Gasly did a nice 18th to second

Logan to fifth!!

Lewis is holding up first

Williams be honest, did you dabble in the dark arts??

All checo does is swear (he' s out) and his engineer and just goes yeah.

Overall this was such a weird session like it was just constant struggles of people who shouldn't be struggling this much

Out

20. Zhou

19. Hulkenberg

18. Ocon

17. Bottas

16. Perez

Q2

Ruth (from f1tv) is my hero -forget the drivers she's the coolest

Max studying Oscar's back wheel

Oscar showing off just how good he is at qualifying

George Russell I don't talk about you a lot because you just get your shit done and do it well, good job dude

Mad max appearance?

Logan in Q2!!! For the first time this year!!

Carlos whats up my dude, your not doing to hot

Williams and their pitstops /neg

"holy moly I had big moment in corner four" - george (british)

LOGAN SARGENT YOU LEGEND

what is going on with red bull today

Mercedes who did you sell your souls to

Both ferrari's are out in Q2???? wtf

"I guess we are fucked" "yes" - carlos and his engineer

Alex finished in 6th

Out

15. Gasly

14. Kmag

13. Sargent

12. Sainz

11. Leclerc

Q3

commentators are also wondering what the fuck is happening

everyone is just trying to keep their car on track at the moment

Lance in Q3 at home for the first time!!

Merc 1-2??

Oscar up to second then lando bumps him

the Mercedes are on old tires while everyone else are on new one and are absolutely destroying them

Lance to sixth

Damn they really just referenced Villenevue's rant earlier

Max and Russell got the exact same time??

What are the fucking odds - this hasn't happened since like the 70's??? This is the second time ever??

George got his second pole ever!!!

You are a legend good sir!!!

His radio was so fun

Commentators really have been baffled today

10. Albon

9. Stroll

8. Tsunoda

7. Hamilton

6. Alonso

5. Ricciardo

4. Piastri

3. Norris

2. Verstappen

RUSSELL

[fairyofsilence]

RISING STAR | 1/7 | THAT’S THE INDUSTRY, BABY SERIES |

Pairing: Producer!Namjoon x Trainee!Reader

Warnings (there's important trigger warnings mentioned, read each one of them carefully and proceed with caution): +18, Yandere, grooming, age gap (reader is 19 while Namjoon is 31), cursing, extreme abuse of power, manipulation, reader has a bad relationship with her mother, self-deprecation, reader has a low self esteem, mentions of unhealthy diets, mentions of toxic beauty standards, both explicit and non explicit sexual scenes; oral sex (m and f reciving), fingering, spanking, protected sex, sex in the work place, loss of virginity, mentions of blood, slight dubcon (she agrees to have sex after he coaxes her into it), mentions of aftercare, mentions of sex, recording of sexual acts without a partner's knowledge, blackmail, forced relationships.

Summary: It's the opportunity of a lifetime, everything you have ever wished for has been presented to you on a silver platter, becoming the next rising star of the critically acclaimed producer Kim Namjoon was a dream come true.

Too bad you are to naive to confuse a nightmare for a blessing.

I don't agree nor condone any of the actions made by any of the characters throughout the story, I also do not belive that any of the members of BTS would act this way or have this type of behaviour, this story it's fiction and it's written with the sole purpose of entertainment.

Word count:  11.3 k

This is the first of seven parts for the That's the industry, baby series, you cand find my main masterlist here. The stories can be read as one shots, the stories just take place in the same universe.

Hello again! It’s been a while, believe me I know, and I also know I’ve been announcing this fic since practically a year now but get this: I’m a depressed college student who loves to procrastinate, but I shit you not tonight I said “fuck it” and finished this enitre fic in eight hours, this is extreamly unedited and I’m posting this at 6 a.m, I’m not even sure I’ll be able to edit this until June but until then please enjoy and let me know what you think! I created this series because I’ve always been shocked at the ammount of disgusting things the entertainment industry has try to hide from the general public, and this series will tackle most of that, withouth more introductions, here’s the first of them, enjoy!

EDITED ON 05/27/2023

You haven’t moved an inch since you’ve put your eyes on the board.

 You’re trembling, you can feel the air starting to leave your lungs, but you don’t seem able to take a breath because you feel like if you so much as blink, the announcement will disappear from the board, and it all just be an illusion.

 But it’s not an illusion, you’re actually looking at the announcement on the board right now, the letters are big, bright, and bold, and there’s no doubt that what you’re looking at now is your name next to the word “Congratulations.”

 “Congratulations Y/N Y/L/N, you won!

You’ve been chosen as Rkive records new rising star.

For more details, check the inbox on your email in which you’ve been send the instructions on what to do next.”

 All sound seemed to quiet down, you couldn’t hear a single thing except a striking white noise ringing on your ears, and although you can feel some of the trainees jumping around trying to congratulate you, you can’t seem to do anything right now, your body is paralyzed, your eyes fill up with tears and you feel as if your heart had gone all the way up to your throat.

 You’ve won, you’re finally going to debut, Kim Namjoon had chosen you.

 It feels surreal, you’ve been waiting for this moment, four years to be exact, and it has finally going to happen, your biggest dream was just a day away from becoming true, a small laugh leaves your mouth at the thought, you’ve made it, you finally made it happen.

 Reality comes back to you in the form of a hug, you realize the person who’s hugging you is Soowon, one of the newest trainees who, after you got her out of trouble with the singing coach, decided to attach herself to you and proclaim the two of you as best friends, she seems more excited than you right now, jumping around while trying to not break the hug, somehow you manage to wrap your arms around her, giving her a weird side hug, but she doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, she seems even more excited after you returned the hug.

 “You did it! I know you would win” She says after hugging me a little bit tighter “It was only a matter of time before this happened, you’ve been working so hard” You feel a tear rolling down your cheek after her words, you finally turn around to return the energy of the hug and while rubbing your back, she whispers onto your ear “I know you’ll be the biggest star of this company Y/N, I’ve known it since the day we met”

 You allow yourself to feel the praise and hugs from your fellow trainees because you know that once you step a foot inside of your apartment, you know that your biggest obstacle from you reaching your dreams is waiting for you inside, so just for a few more hours, you let yourself be happy, because you know that when she finds out about the news you received today, a light argument is the best thing you can’t expect.

Your mother is already at your apartment by the time you got home, and that was the first weird thing you noticed.

The second was that she made dinner, your mother never makes dinner, she always works until late in the night and you’ve survived on rice and instant ramen because of that, but tonight she seems to gone all out, there’s even meat at the table for god sake, and that’s how you know there’s only two reasons behind this happening; she was either fired or she got a new, better paying job, and you’ll be very surprised if it ends up being the latter.

 She has never been good at maintaining a job, and for someone who’s been poor her whole life, she doesn’t seem to understand that to maintain a job is to be quiet, the workers should never complain to their bosses, at least, that’s what you’ve learned during your time in the company.

 She notices your presence after you stand in the entrance for a while, then again, it’s not hard to do so, your apartment is not big enough for you to go unnoticed anyway, she turns off the stove and walks up to you with a smile, greeting you excitedly.

 “Hi sweetheart, sit down please, I’m just going to bring out some plates, okay?” You don’t say anything, but she doesn’t seem to mind the lack of response, turning away from you to grab two plates from the small kitchen cabinet while you set down your backpack and take a seat on the floor in front of the small table, your palms begin to sweat as you mentally prepare to tell your mother about the news, which you’re sure she won’t take kindly.

“How was your day? You usually come back earlier than this, I told you that this trainee stuff cannot interfere with school” And there she goes, you can even seat down in peace for five minutes before she starts listing all the stupid reasons why you should be a trainee, but today you won’t take any criticism from her, actually, today you’ll prove her just how wrong she’s been.

“It was great, I have good news actually” Your voice loses power for a bit, but you pull through it, your mother sits down and seems curious about the news for once.

“Yeah? What is it? You’re finally leaving that company for good? They’re the reason you got two years behind in school” Your eye twitches at her remark but you ignore her before dropping the bomb.

“No, it’s the opposite actually” Her eyebrows raise at that, and she looks at you expectantly before you say, “I’m signing my contract tomorrow, I’m going to debut soon.”

 The silence that follows after your words seems to last an eternity.

 Your mother puts her utensils down, she licks her lips and lets out a deep sigh after a few seconds, she doesn’t like this at all.

 “I was expecting good news” Her words feel like a dagger piercing right through your heart, but you maintain your posture, you can’t let her, and her hurtful words get to you.

“This is good news mom, don’t you understand? I wasn’t sign to a small company, Bangtan signed me, Kim Namjoon chose me” Your mother makes eye contact, and it makes you falter for a second, she always knows how to bring you down when you’re finally going up.

“Who put those ideas on your head? That Kim Namjoon that you always talk about?” Before you can even talk back she cuts you off before adding “Sweetheart, I thought you were smarter than this, when man want something, they’ll say anything to get you” You hate when she does this, when she makes you feel small, making you think you’re stupid without even listening to what you have to say, you hate her.

“First of all, I’m meeting him for the first time tomorrow, so no mother, he hasn’t been putting any ideas on me, and also, why are you acting so shocked at this? I’ve been training for years, you know that it was bound to happen, I’ve been working so hard for this moment to come and the only thing you can say is something negative, can you just say ‘congratulations’ at least? This is something important to me, can you at least pretend that you’re happy for me?” Your voice breaks by the end and instead of listening to your concerns, your mother decides to do what she does best; get defensive after you call her out.

“Why do you always just assume the worst of me darling? I’m just expressing my concern as your mother, is it wrong to be worried about who my daughter is going to be spending so much time with?” Her tone just manages to push you over the edge every time, you don’t even realize you’re crying until a teardrop land on your lap, you’re quick to wipe your tears before she gets the satisfaction of knowing she can affect you so much, you make eye contact with her before responding.

“Why can you just be happy for me mom?” You’re tired of arguing, but as usual, she doesn’t notice how you feel.

"I'm just worried about you, darling. You know that the career you want is risky. What if they change their minds and leave you without warning? What if you get injured before you even have a chance to perform? And what if they decide you're not good-looking enough after a few years? Have you thought about what you'll do then?" The venomous words spill out of her mouth so effortlessly that you're taken aback. Even your mother seems surprised by what she just said, but she doesn't backtrack or apologize. She only looks at you with a guilty expression, her eyes betraying her harsh tone. You let out a bitter chuckle before responding.

“You know what mom? I don’t think you’re worried” you say, your eyes fixed on your hands in your lap before voicing the thoughts that have been on your mind for a long time “I think you’re jealous” The silence in the room was so prominent you could hear a pin drop “I know you were young when you had me and I’m sorry I screwed up your life, but your misery is not my fault, I have to live my own life and make my own path, and being an idol is the path that I chose, so I’ll let things clear for you, you either accept my choices without any type of criticism or I’ll have to leave this place” You stand up and before she can respond, you leave her with this; “although, after signing my contract, I might just leave either way” with that, you make your way to your shared bedroom, not having the courage to say anything after your fight.

Later that night, you noticed your mother quietly slipping into bed, assuming you were already asleep. However, you struggled to find peace, tossing and turning as your thoughts continued to plague you. Every time you tried to close your eyes; you could only see the look on your mother's face after your confrontation. The night stretched on endlessly, and despite your efforts to find rest, sleep eluded you. The weight of guilt lay heavy on your heart, and you knew that the rift between you and your mother had only grown wider. Your once-fragile relationship now seemed completely shattered. However, you were resolute in your decision to pursue your career and follow your dreams. While the thought of losing your mother was painful, the thought of losing this opportunity would have been even worse. With this assurance, you finally managed to drift off into unconsciousness, with the hope that tomorrow you’ll be able to forget about the tough time you went through tonight.

You don’t think you’ve ever been more nervous than you are right now.

 You can feel the cold sweat forming on the crown of your forehead, your body feels like a quivering mass of jelly, the subtle trembles barely perceptible to anyone but you, a physical manifestation of your own nervousness, you’ll be biting your nails too if you could, but ever since receiving the most shocking news of your life you don’t think there’s anything left for you to bite off.

 Today, if everything goes according to plan, you’ll become the newest artist under Rkive’s music records, the most prestigious record label in the entire country, owned by one of the most acclaimed producers of the decade, and your own personal God, Kim Namjoon.

 As you step into Rkive's gleaming headquarters, the air is charged with an indescribable energy. You can practically feel the prestige of the company pulsing through the walls, and the faint sound of music drifting through the halls is enough to send shivers down your spine. You check your phone for the last time just to make sure you got everything down, the instructions they gave you were simple, but your anxiety makes you feel hyperaware of everything, taking a deep breath while closing your eyes you try to calm yourself down, chill the hell out, you say to yourself, you’re going to weird him out, granted, Namjoon might not be weirded out by you but he’ll definitely would think you aren’t ready for this and that’s not the case at all, you've worked so hard for this opportunity, and you won't let your anxiety get in the way now that you're so close to being signed, especially by someone like Namjoon, and given his reputation, being signed by him would be the ultimate validation of your hard work and talent.

 Kim Namjoon isn’t an easy man to impress, because not only has he worked with the biggest stars in the industry, but also, any music related award you can think of; he most likely already has won at least two of those, and if his experience wasn’t intimidating enough, his unwavering commitment to achieving perfection on every aspect of his music is both impressive and intimidating, commanding respect from those around him, and you definitely respect him, in fact, there's no one in the world that you look up more than Namjoon, you want to impress him, make him remember who you are, make him wish he had discover you sooner, you want your idol to want you as desperately as you want him, and you won’t leave this building until you accomplish that.

 As you approach the front desk, the receptionist glances up at you with raised eyebrows, silently urging you to speak. Though her harsh glare could be intimidating, you're determined to stay focused on the reason you’re here. You won't let her nasty glare affect you, not even a little bit.

 You take a deep breath and greet her politely, "Hi." Even though she might be looking down on you, you refuse to be rude. You state your business clearly, "My name is Y/N, and I have a meeting with Mr. Kim Namjoon today in his studio."

At the mention of his name, her glare softens up a bit, but still looks annoyed, with a monotone voice, she says “Wait for just a second please” before reaching for the telephone on the desk, it’s only a matter of seconds after calling when the other line picks up, they exchange a couple of words that you can’t decipher and after she hangs up, she looks back at you with a fake smile before standing up, she speaks with a more cheerful tone this time “Mr. Kim’s assistant is coming down to escort you to his studio, please wait for a moment, you’re welcome to sit down in the lounge as you wait” the receptionist points at the small waiting lounge that’s right in front of the elevators, you whisper her a small thank you before making your way over there, sitting down on the individual sleek black leather couch, impatiently waiting for his assistant to come out of one the elevators.

After sitting there for just a few minutes, you begin to feel very out of place, everything in this building looks, feels, and even smells expensive, and somehow here you are, a nameless trainee with second hand bought clothes, with the smallest, cheapest purse which you keep holding on tightly into your lap, shrinking into yourself more each minute that passes by.

You’ve never had a high self-esteem, but it seems the small bit of confidence you’ve had has disappear after knowing that you’ve won the contest and you will be meeting Kim Namjoon in person, you’re scared, your mind tormenting you with all the “what if?” questions, what if he decides you’re not actually the one?, what if he thinks you’re not good enough?

 What if?, what if?, what if?

 Before you can think about any more ways on how this whole thing could go wrong, the small ding sound of the elevator pulls you away from your thoughts, you’re quick to stand up and soon after that, a short, petite woman steps out of the elevator, her eyes find you quickly after coming out and a small smile appears on her face as she approaches you, clutching a clipboard on her hands.

 “Hi!” Her cheerful tone catches you by surprise, but you smile nevertheless “You’re Y/N right?” you answer her with a small nod, which she ends up mimicking before talking again “I’m Sohee, I’m Namjoon’s assistant, do you have everything we asked you to bring?” you respond with a small ‘yes’ before making a gesture towards your bag, she nods again before signaling the elevator “Follow me please, I’ll take you to his studio so you can talk for a bit before signing” You’re quick to follow her request by stepping into the elevator next to her, she presses the button of the 14th floor and you both wait until the doors close and the elevator starts running, Sohee turns to you and smiles before asking “Nervous?” You let out a small laugh before answering.

“Very, I can’t believe this is happening right now” Your palms begin to sweat, and she laughs as you wipe your hands on your pants, you decide to redirect the conversation towards her “So, how long have you’ve been working for him?” Sohee’s eyes widen up a little bit after your question, she seems genuinely surprised by your interest, but she answers either way.

“Three years next month, my best friend got me this job actually, it’s sort of a long story but to keep things short, she works with Kim Taehyung, he told her about Namjoon needing an assistant and that’s how I landed here” She speaks very fast and you have a hard time catching what she’s saying, but before you can respond, the elevator comes to a stop and the doors begin to open, you’re welcomed by a similar lounge than the one in the reception, only that this lounge had a large plaque that read “Rkive Music Records” in a beautiful gold color, the letters engraved in a pitch-black tone, if you though the lobby looked expensive, Namjoon’s floor was a whole different level.

 “Follow me please, I’ll lead you to his office, he’s already waiting for you” Her words make you shiver, you can’t believe it’s finally happening, the excitement is making your legs shake and you can barely breath as you make your way through the long hallway, passing the small reception desk and several doors of what you can assume are different studios.

 Sohee comes an abrupt stop, causing you to hold your breath until she turns to look at you and with a bright smile, she gestures the door right in front of you, which holds a sleek, platinum plaque with Kim Namjoon’s name engraved on it, you gulp and letting out a deep sigh, she says “This is it, good luck!” She holds up two thumbs and you let a nervous laugh at her antics, she leaves quietly and just like that you’re left on your own, with a shaky hand, you reach to know on the studio’s door, you only have to wait for a couple of seconds, but you’re anxiety is making it seem like time going slower than it actually is, you’re beginning to lose your mind until finally, the door handle turns and you’re face to face with the person you’ve never thought you’ll ever see this close, Kim Namjoon stands right in front of you, with a big smile on his face, his dimples only making him look even more attractive, his dark hair is pulled back and he’s wearing all black, he looks hot and he knows it, that’s what makes him more dangerous, it seems like an eternity before he opens his mouth and says, “Well hello there” His deep voice makes you even more nervous, “You must be Y/N, please, come in” Granted, he chose you as the winner of the contest, he must know your name, it’s logical, but your inner fan cannot believe your idol just said your name so casually, you compose yourself before you answer him with an enthusiastic nod, not forgetting to bow before anything, Namjoon let’s out a chuckle before leaning against the wall to make room for you to walk in, you’re quick to follow, entering his studio while a timid “Thank you” leaves your lips.

 The first thing you notice about his studio is how big it is, you had expected nothing less than this, giving that he’s the owner of this record label, but it still doesn’t make it any less shocking, you almost feel ashamed of the fact that his studio seems to be bigger than your shared apartment with your mom. When you first walk in, there’s a small hallway that leads you to the main part of his studio, but instead of a wall, there’s a huge glass to showcase his biggest accomplishments, his awards are perfectly lined up in multiple shelves and there’s some of his biggest songs displayed with as either platinum or gold records, some of the movies he has produced the soundtrack of are also displayed by a frame with the poster on it, you don’t realize you stopped following him until he reached out to tap you in the shoulder, you turned to look at him and you found him with a teasing smirk on his face, you give him a shy smile in return.

 “Sorry, I was just admiring everything" Your face feels hot, and he lets out a deep chuckle that makes you shiver, his presence alone makes you nervous, and having him smiling and talking to you with that deep voice of his was making you crazy.

"Don't worry, it’s a bit overwhelming isn’t it?” You nod and Namjoon imitates the action “Hobi says that all the time when he comes by” The casual mention of such a huge star makes your eyes go wide and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him, he smiles widely and you could swear he mouthed the word cute, but you couldn’t tell if you were just imagining things or if it actually happened, so you only smiled and continued to follow him through the hallway.

 And if you thought the hallway was something, you weren’t prepared to see his actual studio, in fact, you couldn’t even process your surroundings because Namjoon put his right hand on your lower back, a weird feeling washed all over you but noticing he was guiding you to a small sofa, you turned to look at him and he only gestured with his other hand for you to take a seat, suddenly, your nerves made you feel silly, of course he was just being nice, you were just paranoid.

 “Please take a seat and get comfortable, it’s going to be a pretty long session” Namjoon chuckles after that and you let out an awkward laugh.

 His studio was so intimidating, you couldn't even sit down in peace without thinking you'll probably break something that cost more than your apartment, sensing your nervousness, Namjoon puts his hand on your shoulders while giving you a reassuring smile.

 "Don’t panic, everything's going well" You give him a small nod, and he turns his back after you finally seem to catch your breath, walking towards what seems to be a mini fridge "Would you like something to drink? I have water, some energy drinks" Namjoon pauses and looks up at you with a teasing smile, his dimples full on display, this man would be the death for you "I have beer as well, if you can handle it" He raises an eyebrow and it makes you giggle, Namjoon seems to love your reaction, but he waits patiently for your answer, you compose yourself and finally give him an answer.

“Water is fine, thank you” Your voice is barely audible, but you don’t stutter so you consider that a win, Namjoon nods and pulls two water bottles from the mini fridge, and makes his way to his chair after closing the door.

“So, let’s start talking business, shall we?” Namjoon says after handing you the bottle and sitting down in a chair, the only thing between you and him being the small coffee table where a leather folder lays over it, as well as two fancy looking pens.

“Okay” You agree, and Namjoon’s aura seems to take a shift, exuding power and knowledge, two things you very much lack off.

“So, I’m assuming that you read the contract when you entered the contest, right?” His gaze is so intense it makes you grip on the edge of your skirt tightly, responding with a nod because you know that your voice will give out if you try to speak right now, Namjoon takes your answer before continuing, “Basically, the contract says that we’re making an EP, you will be making all types of promotions and you will be making a music video for the main track, I have some songs ready and while I personally think the artist should have an input on the songs, we were given only two months to deliver a full EP, so as soon as you sign we’ll begin to work, okay?” Your enthusiastic nod makes him smile “Perfect, do you have any concerns about the contract? You should ask questions before signing, you know?” That makes you genuinely laugh, and Namjoon seems happy he has eased your mood a little.

“The contract is only for an EP, right?” Your tone is a bit steadier and Namjoon nods before explaining.

“Yes, but I’m sure your EP will be a success, which means a more permanent contract” Namjoon can sense you tensing up at the probability, so he surprisingly, reaches out to squeeze your thigh before adding “Someone as talented as you shouldn’t be worried about that, your debut will go better than you expect, I’ll make sure of that” His words feel like a soft blanket, providing comfort to your worries, the current position of his hand makes you nervous, but you pay it no mind as you nod and smile, Namjoon is just being friendly, there’s nothing to be scared about.

“So, what about management? Who is going to be my manager?” Your question makes him smile and you’re shocked to the core when his index finger rises up to point at himself, there’s no fucking way “But Mr. Kim, you’ve never- “Namjoon cuts you off before you can finish your sentence.

“There’s a first time for everything, right?” You’re speechless and Namjoon takes your silence as a cue to keep talking, “You know, when I saw your audition, I was starstruck, I even got mad at the management because how in the fuck have they kept you training for so long? Such a talented person deserves to be seen by the whole world” His dragon shaped eyes look directly into yours and you’re left breathless by his praise, hearing those words coming from his mouth seemed unreal “I wanted to be in control of your debut because while this people might have underappreciated your talent, I saw your potential right from the start” His praise makes you feel dizzy and you can’t believe what’s happening right now, you can barely register him reaching out for one of the pens at the table, putting in one of your palms before he asks “What do you think then, would you give me the chance to make you the star you’re meant to be?” You almost feel hypnotized, slowly nodding your head while gripping the expensive pen on your hand, Namjoon’s smile almost seems to shine as he hands you the leather folder containing the contract, you read quickly through the pages before reaching the final one, where your name is beneath a long line, waiting only for your signature, because Namjoon had already signed this.

 With a trembling hand and with a deep sigh, you put the folder on your lap and click on the small button on the pen, you only pause for a second before signing the contract, you’re still in the clouds even after looking at your signature on the strikingly white paper, you lift your head only to see Namjoon looking at you with mischief written all over his face, his eyes seem to hide something you can’t quite decipher, but he soon opens his mind to let you know exactly what his thoughts are.

 “Don’t worry darling, I’ll make sure you become the biggest star this company has ever seen.”

 You knew that becoming an artist was never going to be an easy job, but the amount of times you’ve stayed working late this week alone was ridiculous, turns out, the rumors about Namjoon’s work ethic were true, his perfectionism was driving you insane, the amount of times he had asked you to start a song all over again because he wasn’t a ‘100% sure’ if he like the way you sounded almost made you bang your head against the recording booth wall, but you didn’t, you stayed put, only smiling and responding by putting your thumbs up until he gave you the sign to get ready to start recording again. You sang until your throat became sore, you danced until you stopped feeling your limbs, the fatigue was quickly catching up to you and everything started to pile up fast, you needed to memorize all lyrics and choreographies in less than two months without mentioning all the physical changes the agency was demanding from you, your mother’s words ringing loudly through your ears every time you were reminded to not eat until you were done for the day and even then, your single daily meal would barely make you feel full, you had to control your hunger by eating a small bowl of ice cubes and drinking water.

 You were in the verge of a breakdown when one night after your first month of working together, Namjoon had finally told you that you did great and that you could come out to join him while he worked, you were so caught up with singing your heart out that you didn’t realized that Namjoon had ordered dinner for the two of you, you thanked him by giving him a small bow and a tired smile, he only gestured her to sit down and to eat, and you did exactly that, pulling your chair closer to him before sitting down, to which you could see from the corner of your eye that he smirk at your actions.

 “I didn’t ask for what you liked but I supposed that you can’t go wrong with McDonald’s” Namjoon said while putting his earphones down to his neck and grabbing his own dinner, you made a hand gesture to let him know that it’s fine, McDonald’s right now seems like heaven to your starved stomach.

“It’s okay, you shouldn't worry about me, I would’ve eaten something at home” You dig into some fries and Namjoon sends you a look you can’t quite comprehend.

“Nonsense, how can I not worry about you? Don’t think I haven’t noticed about the stupid diets the company is forcing you to do” You freeze at his words and Namjoon lets out a deep sigh before adding “You should’ve told me before; I would’ve done something earlier” His concern makes you feel guilty, so you try to make excuses to make him (and yourself) feel better.

“They’re just making sure I look good before the filming starts, I have to look my best before debuting, you know that” You can’t even look at him while you’re talking, you don’t know if it’s your shitty diet or Namjoon’s words that make you lose your appetite, but he wasn’t content with your answer, pulling his chair even closer to you, forcing you to finally look at him in the eye for the first time tonight.

“It’s bullshit, you already look perfect to me” His words make your heart jump “And besides, if you don’t eat well, you won’t have enough energy for the live performances, so you better start eating good after today, you got that?” You haven’t even noticed than Namjoon’s hand has made it’s way to one of your thighs, whilst your knees were faintly brushing against his, his sudden closeness catches you off guard, but you make no effort to separate yourself from him.

 During this past month, you have started to catch up on some patterns, patterns that make you feel somewhat uneasy, because while you know it might just be your imagination, you can’t help but to realize how isolated you’ve become after you started to work on your EP, you haven’t spoken to any of your fellow trainee friends because, according to Namjoon, they might be jealous of your upcoming debut so you must focus on yourself right now, which is a fancier way of telling you to not speak to them, besides that, the only interactions you get outside of the building is with your mother, which, after your fight, your relationship with her now consisted on greeting each other at night and leaving the apartment before either one of you woke up, and while you talked with Sohee every now and then, the only constant human interaction you had for the past month has been with Namjoon, and while your silly crush on him remains very much alive, you can’t help but to feel like something isn’t right, his lingering touches make you jump every time it happens, and some of the things he says makes you feel uncomfortable, but you’ve blame it all on your nerves, the deadlines are approaching too fast and Namjoon is only trying to make things easier for you, it makes you feel ungrateful to doubt on him like this but you can’t help it, he’s a man with too much power and you think it’s only natural for someone in your position to feel like this.

 You brush off your inner dilemma when Namjoon asks you if you want to listen to your last recording, passing you a pair of headphones and waiting until you’ve put them before playing it, you’re soon welcomed by the perfect instrumental before hearing your voice through the headphones, no matter how many times you’ve done this by now, listening to your own voice feels just as exciting as the first time, the unfinished song quickly comes to an end, you and Namjoon continue to talk about minor details until you pause the conversation to drink some water, your focus on the large screen on Namjoon’s mixing table makes you unaware of the intense stare he has set on you.

 “Do you have a boyfriend?” Namjoon’s unexpected question takes you by surprise, and stare at the screen in shock before you can answer him.

“What?” You let an awkward laugh out as you look in his direction, his expression being unable to read. Your brain still can't comprehend a reasoning behind his question or why he would be interested in such meaningless matters, but he was your boss now, and you didn’t want to make him mad at you just because you felt a little uncomfortable by his question, so you responded “I don’t have a boyfriend, I never had one actually” You’re anxious and that makes you share more information than what he has asked for, however, he seems to take this information as if it was exactly what he needed to know, he leans back in his chair and gives you a teasing smile after your confession.

“Now that I can’t believe it” You're about to protest in your defense but he finishes what he wanted to say before you get a single word out of your mouth “A beautiful girl like you has never had a boyfriend? That just can’t be true” His smile grows bigger as you get more flustered by his compliments, his hand reaches out towards your hair and tucks the loose strand that covered one side of your face, caressing your cheek with his long fingers as you lean into his touch, welcoming his soft touch after longing for it for what felt like an eternity "I'm convinced now that boys your age simply cannot see a real women even if it’s right in front of them” Namjoon seems to thrive on the effect he has caused in you after you let out a shy giggle at his words, how does he always know what’s the right thing to say?, you feel so giddy inside you feel like you might burst with how happy you felt after hearing those words come out of his lips, did Namjoon really see you as a woman? You simply cannot believe it, a man like him would never set his sight on such a meaningless, young, and stupid girl like you, no, a man like him needed a mature and sophisticated woman who matched his good looks and graceful nature.

“You don’t mean that” Your lack of confidence makes you take distance from him by standing up and trying to walk away from him, but Namjoon seemed to have different plans.

 You gasped loudly as he spined you around before picking you up so easily and placing you over his mixing table, it was a little uncomfortable giving that you were sitting over so many buttons, but right now that didn't bother you in the slightest, especially now that his mouth has quickly found it’s way on yours, the two of you sharing a such a messy kiss that will make you feel ashamed if you were on your right mind, he bites your bottom lip and you let out a small whimper at his actions, Namjoon separates from you only after your lips are red and swollen,  you’re too far gone to notice him parting your legs open with his large hands, looking at you dead in the eyes as he slowly sinks down on his knees and you could help but to stare at him in shock.

 Kim Namjoon, the man who’s technically your boss and the man you have fantasized about for years, is getting down on his knees to pleasure you.

 "Namjoon, what are you.." He raises a single finger motioning you to be quiet and you quickly follow his command, he keeps looking at you as his hands make their way to your ass, gripping it tightly as you let out a soundless gasp.

"Don't you want it baby? I see the way you look at me" His deep voice lures you, his experience showing through on how easily he got you longing for more, his eyes leave yours as he starts kissing up from your knee to your inner thigh, giving you  goosebumps all over "Your pretty eyes light up whenever you see me, it drives me crazy, I can’t hold myself back any longer" He's the one that’s driving you crazy, touching you in ways no one ever has, making you feel desired, willing to give you all the pleasure you can take "Let me do this beautiful, let me taste that pretty pussy of yours" His crude words make you moan as his mouth gets closer to your cunt, you can't this anymore, you need him, as his hands start to grip your underwear, you softly grip his hair and make him look up at you, the sight of him is sinful, messy hair, his dragon eyes filled with lust and his beautiful lips are swollen after the kiss you shared, you need him so bad, you cradled his face in your hands as you speak.

"I just-I've never" You're so desperate for him you can't even form a proper sentence, he chuckles darkly and starts to pull at your underwear, the action making you even more anxious, and without thinking straight, you spit out the truth behind your nervousness "I'm a virgin" His antics stop and his eyes gleam with mischief, although he stopped his movements, his hands didn't move from their position.

"Do you want me to stop then? I would understand if you wanted to, but…" He takes a deep breath while he buries his face onto your inner thigh, you run your fingers through his hair before he speaks again "I really want to eat you out" Namjoon's word send a wave of shivers down your spine and while you’re scared shitless, you don't really feel like it's the right decision to deny a men like him the opportunity to pleasure a little nobody like yourself.

"I want that too" You whisper loud enough for him to hear and the dimples that appeared after you said that made you think that it was completely worth it to ignore your fears.

“I’ll be taking this off then” Namjoon’s deep voice gives you goosebumps as he pulls down your underwear, slowly dragging them down your legs until they hit your ankles, taking them off completely after that.

 You’re shaking and he hasn’t even done anything yet.

 His hands continue to brush up and down your hips, before making its way to the back of your thighs, gripping them tightly, opening your legs just a tiny bit more before starting to kiss on your inner thighs, your hands instantly reaching out to his hair, gripping it tightly at the roots, Namjoon lets out a deep groan that makes you shiver, his touch becomes rougher after your antics, bruising the inside of your thighs as his tongue lapped on your clit, you couldn’t recognize the sound that came out of your mouth, you’re moans becoming louder as his lips latch onto your clit, you can feel his fingers starting to tease your entrance, collecting your slick before pushing a single finger inside, he continues to make out with your cunt before easing a second finger inside you, and your brain stops working as soon as he easily finds your sensitive spot, pushing his fingers in and out quickly, making your eyes closing harshly and your thighs trap him as you let out a scream before coming on his tongue, your legs shaking as he greedily laps your orgasm, he doesn’t stop until you whimper in pain and pull at his hair trying to separate his mouth from you, Namjoon looks sinful with his lips glistening with your slick, you can’t help but moan as you look at him, his hands make their way to your neck and he harshly pulls you into a kiss, it’s so messy and you’re loving it, your small hands caress his back and after a while Namjoon ends the kiss while brushing your hair with his fingers, looking into your eyes before smiling.

 “You’re such a good girl baby, cumming into my tongue like that” His words make you blush, you’re face gets warmer and he laughs at your reaction “Don’t be shy now baby, not after you screamed my name like that” You hide your face into his chest from the embarrassment, and Namjoon continues to laugh as he embraces you in a tight hug.

This only last for a couple of minutes before he turns his head towards you, his mouth being dangerously close to your ear before whispering; “You know, good girls also return the favor” His words make you gulp and you know that it’s only fair what he’s asking for, hell, if it was any other man, he probably would’ve expected you to get on your knees without giving anything in return, and besides, you’re truly wondering how does Kim Namjoon taste like.

“I’ve never done it before” The deep groan that leaves his lips makes you tremble; he gives you a small kiss before smiling down at you.

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll be guiding you ok?” You nod before standing up while holding hands with him, Namjoon takes a step back before sitting down on his chair and the look on his face makes your legs feel like jelly, with a low, deep voice, he commands “Get on your knees for me baby.”

Taking a step forward so your body fits inside his open legs, you slowly sink down onto your knees, Namjoon lazily motions at his crotch before saying “Go on then, pull my cock out.”

 Your nerves make your hands shake as you reach for his belt, unbuckling him with minimal effort was well as unbuttoning his pants with ease, Namjoon seems desperate with the way he’s helping you by dragging his pants mid down his thighs, his hard cock hitting his lower stomach, making your mouth water at the sinful sight, Namjoon smiles at your reaction “Take it with your hands baby, c’mon” your small hand reaches out to touch him and Namjoon lets out a hiss before adding; “Suck on my tip baby”.

 Gradually, with Namjoon’s help you soon started to set a slow peace, making him lose his mind at the sight.

 Your pretty young self on your knees, mouth full of his cock, gagging all over him making him go feral, he doesn't know why he's losing his mind this bad, truthfully, this isn't the best blowjob he's ever had, but it's the fact that it's your first time doing this, making him the only men who's ever gotten to see you like this makes his hips buckle into your mouth making you gag even louder, and he can't help but to let out a deep groan while gripping your hair even tighter. He must completely ruin you now, he needs to mark you so that every man knows who’s doing this to you, that you did everything you could to please him and him only, that you belong to him, forever.

 Your lazy blowjob only last for a couple more minutes before Namjoon decides he’s had enough, with a single pull of your hair, he forces you to separate your mouth from his cock, a trail of saliva connecting you to his tip, Namjoon has never seen something so hot in his life.

 You look up to him expectantly, and you can only let a small yelp after his strong arms push you up until your standing onto your shaky legs.

 He roughly bends you over his mixing table, his equipment making you feel slightly uncomfortable giving the position he had chosen but you stay put, not wanting to disappoint him, he coos at you for being so obedient and quietly apologizes is he has hurt you, you appreciate his concern and decide to wiggle your hips at him in anticipation, Namjoon laughs and spanks your ass, making you squeal and jump at the unexpected action, you feel him leaving his position behind you, you try to look for him without leaving the position he has put you in and you find him looking through one of his drawers, he's probably looking for a condom, you thought, and your suspicions turn to be correct, the platinum package shining under his studio lights, you can feel the anticipation running through your veins, you're about to have sex for the first time with none other than Kim Namjoon, you were one lucky bitch.

 While you feel excited, you're also anxious, what if he's not satisfied with what you have to offer? How can you compete with the types of women that have been like this with him? What if you're not enough for him?

 You're panicking and Namjoon only notices after taking a condom out of the box, he walks up at you and quickly wraps his arms around your waist and begins to shush you after your breathing starts to rapidly increase.

 "Relax baby, I'm not doing anything you don't want me to" He whispers into your hair and then gives you several pecks, his actions relaxing you only briefly before you start panicking again.

"I just… What if you don't like me afterwards?" You whisper pitifully while a single tear rolls down your cheek, Namjoon holds you even tighter after that.

"Oh baby, I feel like it's the opposite" His arms lift you enough so that he can kiss your cheek, helping you clear your negative headspace for a bit "I don't think having you just once it's going to be enough for me" You turn your head to look at him just to find him already staring at you, with one look you could tell that he means what he said, and that it's what makes you give in, you nod your head a couple of times and bend over the mixing table again, taking a deep breath and clutching at the border of his keyboard, you gain the courage to ask for what you want.

"Take me Namjoon, I want to be yours" You try to sound as sensual as you can but you don't think it worked giving how much your voice was trembling, but Namjoon savored each word that you just said, silly girl, of course you'll do anything to please him, and now that he knows he's going to be the first man to claim you, he's sure now that he won't let any other man taint you the same way he's going to.

 Coating his fingers with the remains of your previous orgasm, he starts by stretching you by inserting a single finger inside, your walls almost instantly gripping his finger tight  as you let out a loud moan, look at yourself, being such a good whore for him, he's going to reward you for being so good for him but right now the only thing on his mind is fucking you, so he quickly sets up his peace and starts to finger you, adding another finger inside and having his palm rub directly onto your clit, knowing that with your inexperience, this would probably be enough for you to cum once more.

 You couldn't even try to hold in your screams, everything felt like it was too much but also felt like it wasn't enough, you couldn't understand if you needed him to stop or to go even faster, his long fingers pumping into you and reaching all the right places, making you moan and close your eyes in pleasure, at this point you didn't even know your own name, the only thing you knew is that when he plugged a third finger inside of you, you were not going to last any longer.

 "Oh god! Namjoon, please-I, please" You couldn't even form a sentence, you wanted to tell him how desperate you were to cum, yet words came out of your mouth like a bunch of gibberish, you reach out to grip his arm and Namjoon was thrilled watching you struggle, the effect he has on you it's almost comical to him.

"It's alright baby, I know what you're trying to say," His other hand reaches out to roughly grab onto your breast and you're right there, needing that extra push to finally let go, and his next words are the push that make you climax "Cum on my fingers like the good girl I know you are".

 You felt like your soul left your body, if the first orgasm felt good, this one was heavenly, waves of pleasure rolling through your body in ways you couldn't describe, Namjoon stops his ministration but doesn't pull his fingers out, relishing how your release is coating his fingers as you're panting for air, he delivers a series of kisses into the back of your neck and lets you take several breaths before letting go of your body for a brief moment, you're about to ask him why he's pulling away but then you hear the sound of his pants drop into the floor, he rubs your lower back as he reaches for the condom, you look over your shoulder to find him ripping the package open and when noticing you having your eyes on him, he smirks as he rolls up the condom onto his length, you gulp as you're reminded that everything about Namjoon is huge, he doesn't take his eyes off of you as he finally positions himself behind you and rubs your hips as a form of reassurance, you smile at him and try to lift your hips a bit more, slightly rubbing your cunt against his cock, Namjoon hisses and spanks your ass after that, you let out whimper and his hands grip onto your hips.

 "Dirty girl, I'm trying to be nice to you and here you are, rubbing yourself all over me” His hand rubs your ass as he drags his cock up and down your opening, teasing you as he barely pushes in before backing out, repeating the action until he finally pushes in, filling you to the hilt, you whimper at the unfamiliar feeling and Namjoon shushes you at the sound “Sorry baby, does it hurt too much?” His voice flatters and you think he’s also having a tough time by containing himself like this, his struggle making you feel better.

“Doesn’t hurt, just feels weird” You weren’t lying, while Namjoon was on the bigger side, you were also wet enough and stretched for him, you only needed a couple of minutes before saying “You can move now.”

 It only took him a moment before grabbing your hips tightly and started to rapidly thrust into you, his actions making you grip the table for dear life as his movements quickly became all too much, with each snap of his hips, your body sunk into too a much deeper pleasure, your breast starting to bounce at the same time his hips slammed into your ass, you couldn’t control the screams that left your mouth with all the pleasure you were experiencing now.

 “Namjoon, fuck-baby” You don’t even understand what you’re saying, especially as Namjoon’s hands leave your hips as one of them reaches out for your throat and the other one reaches out for your clit, his fingers making fast circular motions that make you grip on his wrist, you have no force left to stop him from overstimulating you, you’re forced to take everything he gives you.

“It’s alright my love, cum for me, cum on my cock like the dirty slut you are” His degrading words only make you wetter, your legs shake and your body spams uncontrollably as you cum, your tight walls making it impossible to Namjoon to hold his own orgasm in, he comes hard clutches you tightly into his arms, slowly thrusting into you until his cock turns soft, only then he pulls out from you.

He looks down only to be greeted by the sight of your wet cunt, both of your thighs covered in a deep crimson shade, Namjoon chuckles darkly at this, he takes out the condom and discards it into the trash can before taking you in his arms, bringing you to lay down on his large dark sofa with him, you’re too far gone to notice his sinister smile as he looks into the top right corner of his studio, where the faint sight of a red blinking dot can be seen only for those who look for it, and Namjoon knew exactly where to look.

 He was after all, the person that set it right there.

The first time you stepped into the Bangtan building, you expected to be stared at, nobody knew who you were and being a stranger to them you couldn’t expect them to not be curious about you, plus, the stares started decreasing after they found out who you were and why you were there all of the sudden, but right now, the back of your head was burning with the amount of people looking shamelessly at you, and it wasn’t just the fact they were all staring, it was the fact that their looks were full of hatred, they were looking down at you and you don’t have a single clue of why would they do that, you’ve never been mean to any of the staff, you start to overthink in the middle of the hallway before you realize the reason why they could be staring, shit, do they know what happened last night between you and Namjoon? No, you quickly say to yourself, that’s impossible, no one else was in the floor when you and Namjoon got out of the studio until late hours of the night, he took you to his house, where you repeated what you did in his studio all over again in the late night, and in the early morning as well, but there still isn’t an explanation on why everyone had suddenly turned on you like this.

 For the last month, walking into Namjoon’s studio always felt like you were coming into the place you belonged, a safe space where you could be free and be yourself around him, but today, it felt like you were walking into your death sentence, you didn’t want to believe everyone found out because of last night, that couldn’t be true, right? Maybe Namjoon told Sohee that you were together now, and she probably spread the word around the label, right? Namjoon would never betray your trust like this, right?

 Wrong.

 You don’t find Namjoon in his studio, instead, you find a laptop on top of his mixing table, the screen is turned off but the sound it’s making and the turn on button being lit up tells you that it’s on, you take a seat in your usual chair but the sticky note over the screen makes you want to snoop in a little bit.

 “Here you go Hyung, and don’t worry about anything, it looks and sounds amazing ;)” What could it be? Namjoon didn’t say anything about working on anything else besides your EP, and he also said he wasn’t compromised with any projects right now, so you doubted this was about work, what could this be?, the curiosity got the best of you, so you move your fingers around the touchpad until the screen lit up.

 You didn’t want to look into his stuff without permission, but you were so curious about what this could be. The screen showed a video player with no thumb nail on it, so you pressed play and waited for the video to show.

 How badly you wish you didn’t do it.

The first thing you hear is a moan, your moan, it’s loud and it’s filthy, your eyes fill with tears as you realize what’s going on.

 It’s a video from last night, and not only does the video show everything that happened last night, but your face is also very visible, the quality doesn’t let it up to speculation.

 Namjoon recorded you having sex with him, and he made sure your face was visible on the entire video.

 You’re too horrified watching the video play to notice the presence of that man behind you, you only notice after him getting close enough to catch his shadow onto the screen.

 “Namjoon, what is this?” You could barely speak, air seemed to abandon your lungs after what you just watched, the most vulnerable and intimate moment in your life, captured on video like it meant nothing. You turn around to face him while Namjoon keeps a neutral expression despite your distress, the man you’ve come to know, and love was nowhere to be found, in his place was this mean and coldhearted man who doesn’t seem to realize how much he’s hurting you.

“What do you mean darling?” You don’t even realize you’re standing up and he’s in front of you now, his tone being so condescending that it makes you feel disgusted, he traps you into his arms and forced you to look at him in the eyes by harshly gripping your chin up, his mocking smirk breaking your heart when you realize that he doesn’t want to comfort you like he has done so many times before, right now, Namjoon is making fun of you “Don’t you like it? Because personally I loved it, it really captured how well you took me last night, how you were a good little slut just for me” A heart wrenching sob left your mouth and Namjoon tsk at you while shaking his head, his evil smirk doesn’t leave his face for a second “What’s the matter baby? You don’t like me calling you a slut? You didn’t seem to mind that nickname last night” He has the audacity to laugh at you and instinctively you begin to weakly try to break free from his hold, tears streaming down your face.

“How could you do this to me?! Fuck you!” Each time you try to get out of Namjoon’s tight hold and run as far as you could from him, his grip only became tighter, so tight that it started to hurt, you let out a pained whimper, but Namjoon didn’t seem to care at all, gripping your chin even harsher this time.

“And where do you think you’re going baby, huh?” You can’t stand his fucking tone anymore, you need to get out of here, now.

“You won’t get away with this, I’m going to tell everyone what you did!” You try to stay firm, but every time Namjoon laughs you seem to get smaller and smaller, his mocking tone making you feel dumb.

“Yeah baby? What exactly are you going to say?” He spins you so that you’re facing his laptop and keeps a tight grip on your waist with one hand as he presses play once more with his other hand, the lewd sounds from last night echoing his studio, making a new set of tears appear into your eyes, you closed your eyes while shaking your head, Namjoon grips you by the hair while forcing you to watch the awful video, you whimper as you are forced to relive what you thought was an intimate moment and  you’re horrified realizing it’s anything but that. “You look pretty willing to me, in fact, if we go back to it you can even hear you begging for me” Another sob leaves your lips and Namjoon kisses your cheek after hearing your distress “Aw, don’t cry sweetheart, it’s not like you think, this wasn’t meant to hurt you” He tries to wipe your tears off but you swat his hand before it comes close to your face “Why are you so mad at this? I thought you would like it” You're in a daze right now, and his words only make you feel more confused. How could he think that you will like this? He invaded your privacy and betrayed your trust by unknowingly filming you in the most intimate moment of your life, Namjoon seems to sense your confusion and lets out a small cooing noise.

“Oh baby, you really don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this, don’t you? I had to make sure you didn’t chicken out on me, I can’t let you go that easy, not after waiting too long to have you” His words only confuse you even more and you’re left with more questions than with answers.

“How could you possibly met me before this?” Your voice was barely audible at this point, but you know he heard you just fine, your throat closing up even more when he laughs while not breaking eye contact, before all this mess, Namjoon’s presence was already intimidating, but right now is downright terrifying, you can feel your legs giving out when he comes closer to you, gently cradling your face in his hands, more tears rolling down your cheeks as he begins to speak again.

“Oh darling, you’ve always been so eager, so gullible” The confusion your feeling must be visible to him because he lets a small tsk whilst grabbing a small strand of your bangs to push it behind your ear, his playful tone doesn’t leave his voice.

“It was a mere casualty really, Hoseok asked me to come to the main Bangtan building after one of his rehearsals, but on my way to his practice room, I saw a group of trainees in the smallest dancing studio in the building, dancing to the same part of a song over and over again, most of them messing up every time, except for one” Your entire body freezes and you feel like you might collapse at any moment, this can’t be happening, this isn’t the way things should be going now “I knew from the moment I saw you were going to be a star, and when I started to find out more about you, let me just say I was delighted with what I learned” You need to run, you have to get out of here, but before you can even make a run for it, Namjoon holds you tightly into his arms before he says “I don’t think that’s a good idea baby, you don’t this video to end up in the wrong hands, do you?” Your eyes widen up in fear at the mere though and Namjoon has the audacity to laugh at this “My career will remain intact after this, it might even become good publicity for me, but yours? Oh darling, this will be your downfall, a trainee fucking her producer to assure her success, that’s just low” You violently shake your head at his words.

“That’s not true! That’s not what happened, and you know that!” You’re yelling but no matter how loud you yell, it doesn’t seem like he can hear you, he only brushes you off with an uninterested look.

“I know that darling, but other people don’t, I know you’re a hard working girl who’s fought to be in this position, but they won’t see it that way, if their looking at you like scum now just thinking that we might be dating, imagine how they’ll treat you when they found out you let me fuck you so easily” You can’t control the heartbreaking sob that comes out of your mouth, and Namjoon coos at your pathetic attempt to make him feel guilty, pushing your head into his chest as he embraces you in a hug “Oh but don’t cry baby, I won’t let that happen to you, your my little superstar aren’t you? As long as you stay with me, I’ll make all your dreams come true” His loving and caring tone doesn’t give you butterflies in your stomach anymore, it only makes you feel like you want to puke, and although his actions say otherwise, you’re left with the only option you have left: you believe him, what else can you do after all? No matter what you do, every choice will make you lose, but one will make you lose everything you’ve worked hard for, while the other will make you lose your dignity, and frankly, you don’t know which one is worst.

 Namjoon continues to hug you, his hold feels like poison now, who you once considered the man of your dreams has become your biggest nightmare in the blink of an eye and there’s nothing you can do to get away from him now, he kisses you harshly, your tears coming in the way but he seems to be great at ignoring them, and as he deepens out the kiss, there’s only one thought that bitterly crosses through your mind.

 You should’ve listened to your mother when you had the chance.

[yowyowyaoi]

Hidan’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Deidara:

Fuck you

Where’s the money you owe me

I KNOW it was you asshole

At least mine isn’t 91!

Pizza or Chinese?

No bc if you killed him Leader would just blame ME.

Help me prank Itachi and I’ll give you half my next check 

Scared of a little gengetsu? Pussy

Go smell Tobi’s hair then ask me who took your damn cheap-ass shampoo 

Why would you eat it it HAD MY NAME ON THE LABEL bastard!

Ok but can ya’ll go to HIS room once in a while?? I don’t need to be kept up all night!!

From Kisame

Do that to Itachi again and I’ll eviscerate you and floss with your intestines.

That Jashin voodoo crap doesn’t scare me kid

Why the hell would you eat that?! You don’t even LIKE tuna!!

You better hope you can outrun Deidara then 

I think you meant that for Kakuzu. GOD I hope you meant that for Kakuzu.

From Zetsu

You left that guy outside can I eat him?

Are you done with that body yet?

Believe it or not fear actually seasons the meat 

Weird question but can I lick your scythe before you clean it 👀

From Konan

Lol pretty sure his are bigger than mine kid

He’s not that old he just looks like that 

Leftover ribs in fridge for you 

Pls stop harassing him. He blows up my phone for hours complaining about you 😒

Get back down here and clean all this blood you trailed in! I JUST cleaned the floor!! 😤

Dinner. Last warning.

Me and Deidara going to get manicures, you in?

You think I can’t knock you out just because you’re taller? Challenge accepted.

From Sasori

I’m not a pervert he’s 19 he’s an ADULT.

Best friend? Since when??

That medicine won’t take effect if you don’t LAY DOWN and GO TO SLEEP, brat.

For as fascinated as you seem to be with my anatomy you’d think YOU were the one sleeping with me, not Dei 🧐

If Kakuzu already said no then NO.

Next time I’m stitching that mouth shut so we can all get some peace and quiet.

Yes but I can make mine any size I want at any time. You’re stuck with what you’ve got. 

From Nagato

Because I said so.

Yes, really.

Be thankful that’s the ONLY punishment you received.

What she and I do is none of your concern, brat.

I’m sorry but you know Kakuzu has the final say in all financial matters.

You either apologize or I’m going to let Zetsu eat you.

Because you two cause too much trouble when we let you take missions together.

From Itachi

I’m not falling for that one again.

Never. Never in a thousand lifetimes.

Because it’s unsanitary!!

I know you took it I saw you wearing it yesterday.

Why were you even listening anyway? Pervert.

Only if Tobi comes too, I don’t trust the two of you alone.

Literally a few greens won’t kill you.

Yes you did know that!! I told everyone on the VERY FIRST DAY how allergic I am to that! 😡

Either finish your ritual or take that guy somewhere else I can’t sleep with all the screaming.

From Tobi

Of course not! We’re just friends! 

Wait do you think I might have a shot with him?! 👀

Idk I left after I saw Zetsu chewing on the guy’s foot

Is there a way to take back a picture after you send it before the other person looks at it? 

Want some cake? Want to eat myself but Konan says to share or I’m gonna die 😅

From Kakuzu

How much is it?

Did you use the coupons I gave you?

That shit is coming out of your paycheck brat

Sorry. Next time I won’t make them so tight.

Because I don’t have the patience and you’re not responsible enough.

I stg if you bring one more lawsuit against this organization 😡

My room. Now. 

Everybody gets the exact same. If you waste yours that’s your own fault.

Make me ask again and I’ll come get you and throw you over my shoulder

This is getting ridiculous how many times am I gonna have to sew it back on?!

Come see me tonight I’ll take care of it.

It was you and Deidara. I KNOW it was you and Deidara.

Maybe if you’re a good boy.

[backup-baby-backup]

Very preliminary and speculatory writing of Midnights timeline

Disclaimer: All the exact dates are based on tracking Taylor's private jets, which is a controversial activity (to say the least). Those are sourced from @youareinlovees' detailed masterposts.

Aaron Dessner confirmed that High Infidelity and Would've, Could've, Should've were written and recorded during Grammys week in March 2021. Since Taylor was in LA between March 7th and March 15th only, we can safely assume that those songs were written within that period.

The Great War and Hits Different were probably written before Jack Antonoff became the main co-writer of Midnights, because (according to Dessner in the podcast above) that signified a change in concept, but they probably also weren't written in March 2021 since Dessner mentioned them separately.

According to Taylor, most Taylor/Antonoff co-writes were written in New York, when JA and Jack's fiance were filming in Panama. This means they were written between November 22nd, when Taylor flew back from Panama to New York, and December 16th, when Taylor flew to Panama.

According to Rolling Stone, Lavender Haze and Glitch came out of a session where Jack Antonoff, Sounwave, Sam Dew and Zoe Kravitz worked on Zoe's debut album. This was before Jack started working on Midnights (so before November 2021), but also Jack only sent those tracks (demos?) a few months later, which might put the date around late 2021/early 2022.

Also in the same article, Karma was a "last-minute Hail Mary"-- wouldn't be surprised if it was the last song to be written on the album.

Sweet Nothing mentions a trip to Ireland "last July", i.e. July 2021, which probably implies the song was written in 2022. Additionally, on 19 April 2022, JA did an interview where he mentioned he didn't intend to write any more songs under a pseudonym, which either means 1. he signed an NDA or 2. he had already written Sweet Nothing at this point. For wishful thinking purposes I will assume the latter.

Snow On The Beach, which was co-written with Lana Del Rey, was finished by 4 April 2022, as on that day Lana posted this photo on her Instagram, a colourized version of which was later included in this Instagram post.

Now on to the solo writes: Vigilante Shit is a mystery. It mentions Scooter Braun's ex-wife so that puts it after July 2021, but that's it. Maybe she saw the news of Scooter getting a divorce and cackled manically? (also I don't think the FBI line points to anything concrete-- more of a revenge fantasy than anything IMO)

Bigger Than The Whole Sky is also a mystery, but if you believe that it's about Claire Winter then that would place it after March 2022.

You're Losing Me... um... I really don't know? I think there is a possibility it was written along with most of Midnights in that Nov-Dec 2021 session, especially since JA was in a different country then, but it also could have literally been written last month and we would be none the wiser. Here I'm going to give Taylor the benefit of the doubt. Also Hits Different is a breakup anthem but we don't talk about that...

Midnights was most likely finished by May at the latest, when she quoted a lyric from Labyrinth in her NYU speech and may or may not have teased the name of the album in this Instagram post.

To conclude:

7-15 March 2021: High Infidelity, Would've, Could've, Should've

March-November 2021: The Great War, Hits Different, Vigilante Shit

22 Nov-16 Dec 2021: Maroon, Anti-Hero, You're On Your Own, Kid, Midnight Rain, Question...?, Bejeweled, Labyrinth, Mastermind, Paris, Dear Reader, You're Losing Me

Late 2021-Early 2022: Lavender Haze, Glitch

2022 (before May): Bigger Than The Whole Sky, Snow On The Beach, Sweet Nothing, Karma

Feel free to comment if you think I've missed something important or got something wrong, though I might not respond immediately (busy week coming up).

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

This is from the fastpass preview that I stumbled across but genuinely nobody gives a flying fuck about Hades. Out of everything that this comic has disrespected Leuce with the most insulting out of all of them has to be her lowering her standards for an absolute man child like Hades, there’s nothing inherently attractive about him and the only reason Persephone is so infatuated with him is because of the fact that she’s literally 19 FOREVER and her brain is too underdeveloped to get better taste. But to sit up here and say that Leuce is just so incredibly desperate for Hades of all people when she’s so desired and sought after that the king of all gods deemed her worthy of marrying his brother is absolutely incredibly insulting. If this was realistic no one would be scared of Persephone’s pick me ass, I’m so sick and tired of Lore Olympus making every woman make an absolute fool of themselves over someone as low as Hades, literally any guy would be more worthy than fucking Hades like come on man are you serious?

Anyways, I’m just so over the mistreatment of the nymphs and I’m over people calling this a girl boss move. The fans love to sit up here and say that this is women supporting women but brutalizing women of a lower class and making fun of their mistreatment isn’t something we should deem feminist worthy. Like genuinely why the fuck is anyone applauding this shit? The fact that nymphs are at the gods’ mercy and they’re constantly being degraded, insulted, and abused by the upper class just for existing is sick. I can’t even say that it’s because of greek mythology since the nymphs were at least respected, like you knew the difference between them and their power but they weren’t treated like disposable waste like the nymphs in LO are. The nymphs have to be the only characters in the comic who deserve nothing but love and support from everyone since every chapter seems like a dig at them and it’s getting really awful to watch.

Another thing is the title of the episode. Are you fucking delirious? Leuce is a homewrecker?? How?? Homewrecking is blaming someone for a breakup of either a marriage or relationship because they engaged into an AFFAIR or other things in that matter with the member of the relationship. Unless Rachel is saying that because of Leuce they’re finally breaking up I don’t ever wanna hear about homewrecking ever from Lore Olympus trying to describe a character like that. Quite literally the only legitimate homewrecker in this entire series is Persephone’s ass and no one gives a fuck because the way she did it was “cute” and “pure”, she’s your little cinnamon roll while everyone else who does the exact same thing are evil witches. Which brings up my main point, Leuce barely poses a damn threat this woman is as small as a mouse and not up to anything nefarious, instead of focusing on KRONOS possibly coming back and taking over your ENTIRE kingdom that you’ve only ruled over for a few days you’re worried about some poor confused woman who got led on by your cheating ass husband while you were away. The major reaction is cringe and laughable, you don’t feel angry towards people disrespecting you or stomping on your values but as soon as it’s something with Hades you’re suddenly the biggest bad guy ever, give me a damn tissue. It’s truly sad that this is giving me more of a reason to believe that Persephone has no personality outside of being a “soft wife”, like where are your morals? What the hell do you stand for if you allow shit like this to happen.

This is why I get so angry and upset with Lore Olympus as a whole it’s upsetting seeing this insufferable main character do the most hypocritical shit that another character got dragged through the mud over yet we’re all supposed to clap our hands and put them on the highest pedestals. The fans don’t make it any better either because they survive off of stuff like that, that’s quite literally all they do all the damn time. They just eat up every little thing Persephone or any of the main cast does and enables this shitty behavior to continue because I swear if there was a time where Rachel decided to do something in her story that a massive amount of the fans hated she would never implement it into her story again, but since everyone absolutely loves these two women idiotically fighting over a pathetic man she keeps this stereotype around every other season.

Moral of the story is stop taking the dignity of these women and stop using them as some sort of cover up for your main character being incredibly boring and bland because I know the only reason for Lore Olympus’ demonization of Leuce is because they needed to prove how “much better” Persephone is. How about Persephone takes her red eyes and shove it in the faces of those who actually fucking deserve it instead of acting cowardly and only using it against nymphs because “they’re beneath you” since I have yet to see her have an actual backbone towards anyone deserving of this shit.

[cowboypossume]

I'm Holding You To That

Hehe! @kamikothe1and0nly asked for a fedex sick fic and I will deliver !! I more went disabled rather than sick becasue that's something I have more experience with! When I'm sick I just pass out for 24 hours and mix medicine and don't talk to anyone, so I don't feel like that would have been the best story.

However, this has been in the drafts for long enough so...

Its time !!

Fitz couldn’t open the front door. 

The keys were in his hands, he was already on the porch, the next step should have been easy: moving. Just two more steps, a slight of the hand and he was inside. 

His vision was starting to blur, though. His heartbeat was too elevated. He knew the signs well. Something was about to go really wrong. 

Dex leaned against the door frame, barely cracking the door open. “We talked about this, Fitzy. You can’t expect your body to just suddenly jump back into full force.” 

“I know.” “Do you?” Dex swung the door open fully and started to walk away. 

“Yes, Deck.” Fitz came inside, barely closing the door behind him. “I’m in the same doctor’s appointments you are.”

Somehow they moved to the kitchen. Fitz knew somewhere that he should pin this and bring it up when his body wasn’t on the verge of collapsing, or he didn’t feel 3 seconds away from throwing up, yet he wanted this fight. It felt easier, somehow. “I know that losing a leg doesn’t mean I can go up from five miles in the morning to seven. I know that my body has 17 and half things wrong with it, and pushing the exercises only makes it worse. I know the same shit you do.”

“So why do you keep trying to over-exert yourself?” Dex’s words were harsh. Sharp and built up. “Why do you push yourself so hard you can’t even come inside the house because your body freezes? Why don’t you try gradually building up? Or any other option. It’s like you don’t care about yourself. Or how it’ll affect me.”

“That’s a bit of a fucking selfish viewpoint. What’s wrong with my body should have more weight than how you feel.”

There was a pause as they’d realized their feet were all-but-touching. 

“Ok, pause.” Dex sighed, taking a step back. “We’ve both had a long morning and this isn’t fair for either of us. Go take a shower, and we’ll come back to this when we’ve cooled down.”

Thirty minutes later, as Dex was plating something off the stove, Fitz sat on the kitchen counter. He was too tired to fully tell what was happening across from him, but it smelled good, and his body was in no position to object. 

The time of transition was filled with the clanging of pots and pans, until Dex handed him a fried egg on toast with something green alongside it. “About before, I know reminding you all the time doesn’t help. I’m just-” Fitz lightly grabbed the snack, putting it on the counter beside him. He brought his head against Dex’s, “Worried. I know. I appreciate that, I really do. But you have to remember this is my body. I've had the same one for 19 years now. I know its signals.”

“I know that, objectively.” Dex squeezed his eyes close and brought his nose against Fitz’s. “And I’m not trying to control you but you’ve said that exact phrase before. And I’ve believed it before. And I don’t want to be overbearing. I just . . .”  

Fitz brought his hand between Dex’s curls. “There was more going on than just my body Dex. We were literally kidnapped and tortured. Of course my health was at risk. ”

Dex wouldn’t look at Fitz. 

“But my gadget still failed you.” 

“Even if they worked we were still being tortured, Dex.” Clearly Fitz wasn’t getting through. He brought him in for a tight hug, trying to get him back. “You’re a wizard with the mechanical stuff, but that doesn’t fix shitty people being shitty. Or trauma being trauma.”

Dex’s head stayed down and his brain was somewhere else. “You’re changing the topic,” he mumbled. 

 Fitz shrugged. “I think it’s related, but we can just not address it, too. I can eat my toast in silence.”

Dex held him to that.

As Fitz washed off the dishes while Dex dried them, he let out a heavy sigh. “I know what happened to us isn’t easy to talk about, but not talking about its effects doesn’t change them. Maybe you’re right; I could be overstepping-” “No. I brought it up. Clearly I have something there that I still haven’t resolved. I just don’t think you and I should be the ones to unpack it in. Especially in the middle of the kitchen while you’re regaining strength from another stupid idea.” Dex winked at that last part. 

Fitz brought him in for a hug. 

“Ok sap,” Dex rolled his eyes. “We’re finishing these dishes.” “And this conversation.”

“Ok but that is going to happen after I go to therapy on Wednesday. We can finish this task now.”

“I’m holding you to that.” Dex kissed his cheek.

And Fitz finally felt safe.

[angelwolf985]

finished watching supernatural s1-15 in 3 months! here are my opinions on the finale!

(warning: probably unintelligible, and very ranty) (+ obvious spoiler warning)

episode 18 was fuckin emaculate. genuinly. it was amazing. the one thing i didnt like about it was how it jumped about, same with 19.( i dont blame them for it tho, it makes sense with the story, i just didnt really love it.) 19 was good for the most part and served as a decent ending but was missing castiel and eileen (mention + presence) which sucked but what can you expect yk,,

episode 20. i have. so many issues with episode 20. WHY DID THEY EVEN????? LIKE TWO MENTIONS OF CAS, NO MENTION OF EILEEN, DEAN FUCKING DIEING, SAMS WIG, ???HEAVEN BEING LACKLUSTER???? it was so. just disappointing. cuz it could've been great. the end part of 20 was the only good part (jared and jensen signing off of the show). the show should've ended on 19 tbh. thats how im seeing it anyway. in my mind thats where it ended, but like, with cas and eileen back.

what i really disliked:

deans death. im pretty sure everyone hated that. and the whole like thing of him dying was really,, sorta,, weird? like; why did it go on so long?? did it happen bc he doesnt have god given plot armor anymore or was it just cuz?did jack see it? how did he feel about it? did he care or did he be all omniscient because he became god?? how did he survive that long? logistically? there was a fucking rusty rebar thing IN HIS SPINE (or like RIGHT NEXT TO IT??). WOULD THAT NOT?? PARALYZE?? OR WORSE???. and, im sorry, but i hated the forehead touch. it felt weird man. i get that they were close but,, not that close? even when they were more unhealthily codependent they wouldn't have done that. i think so anyway. i dunno. also. DEAN HAS SHOWN MULTIPLE TIMES AND IM SURE THE WRITERS WERE OVERTLY AWARE THAT DEAN DID NOT WANT TO DIE ON THE JOB. HE WANTED TO RETIRE WITH SAM AND CAS. ALWAYS WANTED THAT. he often said shit like "we're gonna die on the job, draw the short stick, thats just how it is, how its gonna end for us." (mixing quotes from the top of my head so, not exact) which he clearly thought would happen because pessimism but he NEVER wanted that. for HIMSELF or SAM. dean dying in this episode IS A CRITICAL DISSERVICE TO HIS CHARACTER.

sams mystery wife and (non mystery) child. BLURRY FACE WIFE. WHY IS SHE. WHY. also- how did he recover (seemingly) so quickly? i mean- if he really believed dean was gone FOREVER. when death hasnt meant forever in forever, how would he be so okay? idk. also, idk why, but sam having a kid seems very bizzare. could just be me. also. where tf is eileen. is she the blurry face wife? why would they do that if yes? (could be a load or reasons, either way they couldve like, said it was eileen, if it was supposed to,, idk,,,)

one or two mentions of castiel. did the writers just forget his CHARACTER IMPORTANCE?!?!? HES SO IMPORTANT TO THE STORY??? HE GRIPPED DEAN TIGHT AND RAISED HIM FROM PERDITION. HE LOVED DEAN. DEAN (INARGUABLY) LOVED HIM BACK. he (castiel) deserved SO. much better. my friend who has watched spn since she was a baby AGREES WITH ME. i GRRR I GRR I GRRR!!!! cas not being in this episode is such an aggravating disservice to his character. he deserved more. the fans deserved more.

alright im done ranting now. may add more on later. im gonna go rewatch the show and read fix it fics.

[lyriumlullaby-ao3]

So could you please give your TED talk about Meredith Stannard and why you want to rip her throat out with your teeth?

ahhh yes lmao i forgot i said that! disclaimer as i get into this that i think she's an amazing character and a great antagonist, and i'm by no means saying that anybody shouldn't like her. (idk, i just don't wanna get rude asks or anything if this post makes the rounds!)

okay so i mean, aside from the basic black and white thinking that, combined with the paranoia and other issues brought on by the red lyrium, made her behave tyrannically and commit ethical missteps with the mages under her charge, i have serious problems with the way she treats Cullen. let's just take a tally of how that goes, yes?

the kid is no older than 20 when he arrives in Kirkwall, and he is immediately made Knight-Captain, as far as I can tell. he was 19 during the events of Origins, and he says in Inquisition that he took his vows at 18, so he's just plain old 'knight-templar' when shit goes down in Ferelden. that's a leap of two ranks by the time he gets to Kirkwall. and granted, after the events with Uldred and all he probably gets promoted to Knight-Lieutenant out of sheer necessity, but still! 20 years old. second in command of one of the largest circles in Thedas. and yes, i think she did that on purpose. being younger and less experienced makes him easier to manipulate.

i also think it's likely that she chose him based on what happened in Ferelden. (and yes, i do think she chose him. i don't think he would have ended up in that position without Meredith's express approval.) i think she probably saw in him something of a kindred spirit based on his disapproval and hostility towards mages at that point in time, and wanted like-minded people on her team as she sought to exert power and control over the circle there. because let's be honest: the red lyrium made her faults worse, but it didn't manufacture them. otherwise, we would have seen the exact same mage panic in Bartrand, but his paranoia took a very different form.

we know she kept things from Cullen. 'things he wouldn't approve of,' he tells us in Inquisition. it was his job to keep her in check, relieve her of duty if she got out of control, and so she concealed things from him that might have led him to do so. if those first two weren't red flags, this one should be a dozen red flags plus neon lights plus sirens.

okay, so with that in mind, i'm going a little off book now, away from the canon and into speculation based on my understanding of the world. as Knight-Commander, Meredith would have directly overseen the lyrium rations of (if not most/all of Kirkwall's templars, then certainly) Cullen. he answered directly to her and no one else. that's one hell of a tool to use to exert power over someone. and i believe she probably did. i think she probably utilized her control of his access to lyrium to control his behavior, either by reducing his rations or increasing them, whichever suited her needs. as a recovering addict myself, this thought makes my stomach turn.

so all in all... this list makes me sick. it disgusts me to think of the ways she must have been manipulating him, playing on his fears and trauma and addiction and naivety to get what she wanted. this list reads to me like abuse, and i hate that for Cullen. sure, he wasn't a great person at that point in time, and that's partly due to trauma and partly due to anger and prejudice.

but how much of it is due to Meredith?

[oldmanjenkins985]

Alright, let's do this. Tw for pedophila as I will mention it at some point. Also, just while I'm here, any pedos on my blog should leave now before I turn you to ash

So someone made some posts going over stuff I said and I think they did a pretty shit job so I'm going over what they said

You're right, it doesn't mean Tessa is 16-19. While I have a hard time believing Tessa is younger than 16, I'll admit I think 14 is the true lower limit.

Maturity thing is interesting since I often see a lot of people using the *inverse* as evidence she's a child. Saying she acts immature and child like. Also, I wouldn't say her obsession with worker drones is childish by any means.

Anyone can be belittled by their parents for behaviors they dislike. I've heard *several* stories from adults that live with their parents that have the exact same thing happen, or even adults that don't live with their parents any more. I'm just lucky my parents are understanding and supportive, unlike the Elliotts who are pieces of shit to their daughter.

Yes, the model is *not* an indication she's an adult. It's an indication she's been through puberty. Pubert usually ends 5-6 years after it starts, and in girls it usually starts at ages 8-10. Less likely 8, more usually 9 or 10. This means puberty ends anywhere from ages 14 - 16 and, oh would you look at that! 14 is the exact lower limit I placed! After that, combined with the fact women don't typically grow taller either after ages 14 - 15, Tessa would likely look very similar to how she does then into adulthood. It's *possible* things could change, but likely only minor things. So her appearance is a moot point for both sides of the age debate.

I assume Michael is a confirmed adult. He has a job and looks adult *enough*. Plus I think Sister Location takes place in the 2020s and Michael was born in the 70s or 80s if I remember the lore correctly.

I'll have you know I debunk the "bloody wine thing" being valid evidence for her age in that very fucking post you took the screenshot from. You just didn't show it. How very convenient. Also yes, 18 *is* the legal drinking age in Australia. You can just look that up. Also, why put adult in quotation marks? Just a like...genuine question (not that they can answer). Drinking age is 19 over here where I live btw.

wh- 12??? Really???? Look, I think 13 is by the SLIMMEST fucking chances possible. Extremely unlikely, but possible. But *preteen*???? Really??????? Also, if Tessa can be as old as 15 she can be as old as 16. There's really like, zero difference between a 15 and 16 year old. Aside like, legally being able to start getting a liscense depending on where you live. And what do you know? There's not really a big difference between 17 and 16 either, nor 17 and 18. I was basically the exact same person I was leaving highschool as I was entering it. Entered at age 15, left at age 18.

So this was the "killing factor" apparently for them. I will stand by this *is* a typically sexual pose. But most people saying it isn't are minors so I don't exactly expect them to know it. I also went over how the creators might've intended it as a joke or had no intent at all with it and it simply happened to be this pose. I'd normally say do your research first before dismissing things but I'm not going to encourage minors to research "sexy poses" Also, I was just asking *why* people weren't calling it out for being that kind of pose because it was the very first thing I thought of when I saw it and I myself was very confused at seeing it.

Won't cover the other people from the original post as that's not my fuckin' business.

Now let's talk about the next person.

How is it a stretch? Sure, maybe make it 14-19 instead, but how is it a stretch? Also, what risk? I'm not here to sexualize Tessa and any weirdo who *really* wants to sexualize Tessa will do it regardless of confirmed age. Pedophiles or anyone attracted to younger girls will sexualize her even if she's a confirmed minor. They'll use excuses like "Oh I'm talking about *if* she's an adult" All the age stuff only changes what excuses they'll use.

As I've said before, anyone who is uncomfortable with the sexualization of Tessa or Flesha is COMPLETELY understandable. And anyone who likes those characters purely for sexualization IS a fucking weirdo to me. That is an actual serious problem which I think should be dealt with.

Also, there's no contradiction. I *personally* believe Tessa is 18, but I give a possible range of 16-19 because I think that's what it actually is. And even then, I think the real range, my thoughts aside, is 14-19.

Yeah, because she is. Ambigious age. 16 year olds and 18 year olds are *really* not that much different.

Already went over the Flesha thing, again I think they're just too young and innocent to know and honestly, better to keep it that way.

So, you completely ignore that all those points are being compared to what I believe is a younger Tessa. Why would her head become less mature looking over the years? And yes, obviously she's going to resemble her mother, but that doesn't disprove anything of what I said because she still needs to go through puberty to get those kinds of features. Again, I was saying the difference between ep 5 Tessa and ep 2 Tessa, who I believed to be 10-12 years old. Even if she's 12, it's likely pubert wouldn't have affected her body to that degree until she was a bit older, 14 - 16 specifically as I mentioned earlier.

And final thing, teenagers and adults can be the same thing. Proof? I'm a teenager, but I'm also an adult. 19. NineTEEN. Just like eighTEEN.

Thank you for reading. And for future reference, when you make post with sensitive content, don't write the words like this:

It's more important for tags but it's just kinda stupid to write it like that at all.

[annieguardian]

There's a lot to unpack here...

The way that Milena treats GodofAmphibians is so unhinged and creepy. The dehumanizing and gross way that she refers to him with it/its pronouns, that's a major yikes. But I want to address the random name drop... of what being okay Milena? For teenagers to discuss abuse? I'm not even sure what they are trying to say here, other than claiming Courtney is a pedophile because she allows Froggy to be in on this emotionally charged discussion, and using me because they believe I also am a pedophile. Milena has been incredibly weaselly about these types of claims for quite some time, considering the only thing I've said of the sort, was that I didn't block minors who followed my main Twitter account, which had a lot of discussions about abuse trauma and 18+ subject matter. Like, Oh gee, I wonder why they'd follow someone who frequently calls out predators and sticks up for vulnerable people might want to see me discuss shit that protects them from such people. The truth of the matter is, kids online SHOULD NOT trust me, because they shouldn't trust ANY adult online. There are a ton of creeps who are looking to take advantage of children, and oftentimes, they include the ones that try to advertise themselves as "Safe adults." Don't get me wrong, I care a lot about protecting vulnerable people, children included. But none of you have any way of knowing whether I or anyone else is telling the truth. That being said, I call out people like CEO of Fate for a reason, and I feel it's wrong for me claim they can't follow my public account if they choose to. Now, it's another story if it's shit like a NSFW account, or my Discord server, but this is literally Milena clutching her pearls over the fact that children may engage with more mature topics, despite the fact that she told me herself that she was an "absolutely filthy 15 year old. So, Milena believes its okay for teenagers to watch porn, but to not see someone discuss kinks in a way that's easier for them to process? Or to discuss signs of a sexual predator? That sounds like what a predator would say! But we also know that Milena had no problems with this, because she was financially supporting me at the time. So, know anyone who advertises themselves as a "safe adult?" Perhaps as a sort of safe haven from Zena and Poppy? For fucks sake, a survivor of child sex trafficking went into excruciating detail into how similar Milena is to his handler, and how the exact same tactics are used. And what was Milena's response? That Night Wyld was too young and mentally ill to recognize the parallels between one abuser and another. IE, the same way she responds to Froggy's criticism of her. This is clearly someone who does not respect young and vulnerable people, despite her supposed advocacy for them. Now, I've made my opinion on Courtney perfectly clear, but the one thing I agree with her on, is Milena's tendency to infantalize and to deny the agency of young and vulnerable people, so that she can justify further abuse of them. This is probably because, much like myself, Courtney is a survivor of CSA, and can recognize the overwhelming amount of red flags present. Notice how Milena uses the same line of attack used to deny trans people access to puberty blockers or medical treatment. Now, with all this in mind, think about why Milena is fine with Noehflake fucking 19 year olds, despite the fact that she thinks 20 year olds are not old enough to criticize her.

And her covering for Noehflake befriending someone who has done legit apologia for pedophilia

Or her going on Stream with Stardust, who has said the following about Cuties.

None of this is to say that Milena is a pedophile, but it does say that she does not care about protecting children, and is willing to protect predators for her own benefit.

[depressed-teacup-inc]

Double double toil and trouble

Hi so Gloob decided that after leaking the entire season 5 finale of miraculous (which for the sake of those that don’t wish to be spoiled I will not discuss until is actually released) they needed to release some more episodes out of balance, so today we shall review episode 19 and 20 of Miraculous Ladybug season 5! Pretension and Revelation!

19: Pretension

So. Felix is still the only nice thing here, but we have to shove a live interest in the mix because it’s not like this show can have the concept of friendship!

So episode starts , marinette complains about not being public with Adrien (which ok whatever), and the show literally pokes fun at how Marinette used to stalk Adrien but then says it’s ok be it was “OuT Of LOvE” (I’m not even go comment at this point) and that they need to go confront Gabriel to clear up the misunderstanding that marinette is def not a crazy stalker (Yknow, after she broke into a private event of his an episode ago. Great.)

Gabriel disapproved and has a weird pancake monologue which is meant to be a metaphor of how Gabriel controls everything and everyone through fashion? And Marinette is like “no fashion is about giving people what their heart’s desire” or something, and then says Gabriel can’t cook for shit (which admittedly funny) as a way of saying his old-minded and stupid.

So I’m general I don’t know who to quote side with? Gabriel is not wrong that the main reason marinette loves Adrien is because he’s a famous star that she’s been stalking for years, but the show frames it in a way that’s less “yeah you stalked him” and more “yeah I just like controlling him and you’re annoying” to make marinette seem like a hero.

In general the entire conversation was really weird, and the metaphor of pancakes was weird, but I did actually like the moral debate of what fashion and style is? I’m a personal believer of fashion being a tool of self expression, and something from inside you, but then how much of what’s inside you is just originally you and what is as a result of your life and how you were raised?

My point is go watch Meryl Streep’s blue sweater monologue, it’s a lot more fun.

Anyways Felix and Kagami are healthier then the love square (shocker) the show should stop poking fun at how bad stalking is and then endorse it, the show is trying to make other parents look worse then Gabriel to redeem him and I’m mad, and thats all there really is to this episode. NEXT!

20: Revelation

Oh boy a Lila episode let’s go. SO FUCKING SOMEHOW LILA MANAGED TO LIE TO HER TWO MOMS ABOUT HAVING ANOTHER FUCKING PARENT?! I’ve already come across this information when all the leaks for season 5 were happening, but the fact absolutely fucking boggles me?! Like this show is so hellbent on making Lila a bad person (worse then an actual terrorist that has been abusing his song for years) that they just do the most unrealistic shit to ever exist just to make her “an evil liar OoOoOo”

Which speaking of before the show tries to tell you Lila was manipulative for lying about being fired in her art class, I would have done the exact fucking same in her shoes. If someone without telling you, fires you (which I believe is btw ILLEGAL) and you were in a public setting, what the hell are you supposed to do? Start crying and telling everyone how you got fired? No, you would quickly try to resolve the situation and then go demand answers! I understand Lila’s anger in Gabriel (tho the show tries to say it’s unreasonable because of Lila’s and Gabriel’s deal, but the show just thinks she’s evil so yknow)

Anyways, Marinette starts saying how awful Chloe is and being like “I’m standing for Justice” and whatnot, and Lila (because she has a deal with Chloe) is like “it’s ok marinette you’re busy with your love life, if you don’t believe in people getting second chances then maybe I should be class president” which tbh? I literally do not see as evil!

Like first of all what does the class representative even do in this show? At the time it was just an episode to show Marinette’s leadership skills, and the most they do is like pass some papers and go talk to students, so it’s not like Lila can do real damage by being a class representative for two weeks (tho I’m sure the show will pull something unrealistic as hell to claim otherwise)

Second of all, Marinette morally is awful? Like this entire episode’s message is legit fucking awful! Lila’s argument for being class rep is saying that she will promote more second chances and opportunities for students, meanwhile Marinette’s argument is “Chloe is awful bad people don’t deserve second chances, PERIOD.”

…I’m sorry bestie but I’m fucking voting for the one that wants to actually do something

And the show obvs tries to write it off like “no it’s a ploy to make Marinette’s life suck” which is something they already did season 3, but I just don’t know if I fully agree with this mindset

Of course, bad people exist and in real life they often don’t change and use the kindness extended towards them, so it’s important to stand your ground, but like the show is trying to tell us that two 14 year old girls are an irredeemable type of evil that will never change! I personally think that some people are incapable of redemption but more that some people don’t want to redeem themselves, so to speak, but it just feels like the show lacked nuance this episode.

I feel like if this episode was used to a more concrete example (say Gabriel, an abusive dad and a terrorist) to explain how sometimes people don’t change rather then use this as an opportunity to tell us how evil Lila and Chloe are, the message would have been more compelling

You can tell the show clearly used this episode as a means of commenting on “Chameleon” and episode that caused many people to hate Adrien for telling marinette to wait and not keep screaming at Lila and digging her own grave, saying he was endorsing abuse? So the show was like “yeah guys look Adrien was in the wrong and apologized, Marinette’s the best and forgives him, have love square”

Again, it’s just another Lila episode which makes marinette a martyr, Adrien a powerless princess that isn’t listened to, Lila way more evil then she actually is on paper to make marinette look good, and everyone stupid in comparison

(Also y’all stop the hate on Alya and Nino, Alya is fucking right, Marinette only ever been a dick to Lila because of Adrien and is digging her own grave with the girl)

(Also also half the time marinette is worse then them, lying and hurting others to get what she wants, she just got Adrien now so she doesn’t commit as many crimes, tho she did break into a private event for idiotic reasons, and also the show likes her so they keep justifying her)

Anyways, didn’t like the episode, Lila episodes are awful, Marinette’s morality is a bit skewed and hypocritical, Hoaxer is just red Volpina on the iPhone rings, but at least she was smart

[one-abuse-survivor]

i feel kinda shitty rn because i was almost convinced my dad had. like. stopped? being an abusive asshole to me? i told myself that he did it because he was so stressed and upset bc of stuff happening and that now it was over even though i know he goes through stages where he seems fine and then abruptly turns into an asshole. i was telling myself it was over and it was going to be weird that i had a period in my life where my dad abused me but now it was over and i could just lowkey hate him for it but it was over.

but then, of course, because i'm a dumbass, the other day, my dad started making fun of me for literally being a cripple? (i am crippled, to be clear, he was just making fun of me for how i walk and being slow and using a cane and how it makes him have to wait for me to get out of the way, which inconveniences him or whatever.) and i was feeling so bad that day that i got pissed at him and then i got in trouble for telling him that making fun of my disabilities isn't okay. (because that's petty somehow ._. )

and now he's avoiding me bc he knows he was an asshole and didn't apologize and he doesn't want to do that. and im just so done. like. i used to think i couldn't call him abusive bc we were all in such a stressful situation and he was just dealing with it like a dickhead but we're out of it now, almost 2 years, and he's still on/off treating me like shit, avoiding me so he doesn't have to apologize, and then trying to come back and chat like nothing happened. i feel like im going insane or maybe im just stupid for letting him do this to me. im just barely an adult but still an adult, i should know what to do in this situation right? but my family just says 'forgive him' and i don't know what else to do when im stuck living with him. :/

Hi there, nonnie.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. You were starting to feel that you were safe around him and he turned around and abused you again. That's awful beyond words, and sounds so scary and confusing. I don't think you're a dumbass for believing the abuse was over. I think downplaying what happened and believing it wouldn't happen again might have been a coping mechanism/survival strategy, because you can't exactly process his abuse while still living with him, so your mind might have resorted to just hoping for the best so you could keep going.

Good job standing up for yourself when he made those ableist comments! And I'm sorry he didn't budge and painted you as petty for that. Any good parent would be proud of their kids when they stand up for themselves, even against their own parents when they say something insensitive.

You're not stupid for struggling, nonnie. Being an adult doesn't automatically mean you should know how to handle being abused. For one, the abuse-victim relationship has been established between you since you were a minor. That's not a dynamic you can just snap out of. Even as adults, victims of child and teen abuse can very easily fall back into that dynamic, even if it's been years or decades since they got out. In my case, whenever I run into my mother, I still fall back into survival mode, and I'm in my mid-twenties. And, until I was able to move out of her house at 20, I kept living in survival mode constantly in her house. Being 19 wasn't any different than being 16 when it came to living in that house. I was exactly the same amount of traumatised and helpless until the moment that I left.

And, moreover, there are many adults who become victims of abuse in adulthood, for example within the context of romantic relationships, workplace relationships, or friendships. Being an abuse victim isn't a minor-only thing. Sure, it's not the exact same experience, but adults are definitely not immune to abuse. So, no, nonnie, you shouldn't know what to do in this situation. The vast majority of people of all ages wouldn't know how to escape from an abusive relationship if they found themselves in one.

It's horrible that your family isn't supporting you and is telling you to forgive him. They're basically telling you you don't deserve boundaries, respect, or reparations when you're hurt, and you should just let others mistreat you without complaining. They're condoning and facilitating his abuse of you when they should be supporting you and confronting him instead. That's incredibly unfair, and you deserve so much better than that.

Sending a virtual hug ❤️

[digitalsmokebreak]

Identity Crisis: Labels

April 19, 2021 I've been kind of having a second wave identity crisis ever since I heard Bob the Drag Queen say that they don't have any preferred pronouns. He, she, they, etc., as long as you're coming from a place of love and are recognizing them as a human, you can use whatever pronoun makes you the most comfortable. That's really stuck with me and it hit me that, deep down, I feel the exact same way. Yes, I may have felt offended in the past when someone would refer to me as "ma'am" over the phone or whatever. But that was fueled from the social norms placed upon me, being AMAB.

I still don't have a label for what I'm feeling and I'm still figuring out if I even "need" a label for it. Because at the end of the day, I am Me. I don't feel like I'm constantly shifting in between the spectrum of male and female binaries, so I'm not gender fluid. And I don't feel stuck in the middle or feel trapped in the male gender binary. So I don't feel that I fit in the non-binary label either. This brings me the main issue I have with labels. Labels were created so that those who don't feel they belong somewhere have somewhere to go when they feel out of place. But our individual uniquenesses are what makes us who we are. Sure, growing up, labels help us navigate the vast spectrums of sexuality and gender. However, I feel that I'm at a point where I don't feel the need for labels. I truly believe that labels hold us back from owning our true identities.

There's a certain power in being unapologetically yourself, and that scares the hell out of people. I always get asked, "Why did you choose to be gay?" ... This is repeatedly the most ignorant question I've ever been asked being openly queer. It's baffling. What you're implying with that single question is that I chose to be hated. I chose to get bullied. I chose to live in the constant fear of my rights getting stripped away from me. That I chose to be afraid of being myself. Unfortunately being a people pleaser, I need to constantly remind myself that I don't owe shit to anyone. As long as I am confident in who I am, I can conquer anything.

September 28, 2023 A lot of what I wrote has stuck with me since. I'm just me and I don't need to label it. While I may not feel comfortable with an introspective revelation in the moment, that's the beauty of living. Feeling, experiencing, learning. All key aspects of the human experience and are what shape us into the people we dream to be. I just hope that in the future I'm still in-tune with my emotion so that I don't lose myself.

[todayisafridaynight]

NO YEAH Ichi being The Baby of the family was definitely a contributing factor in Arakawa mellowing out. It's one thing with Jo and the others being grown men when they joined, but Ichi's not only younger than even Arakawa was, but is of course also the exact same age as his son. I do think it's worth considering.

Especially with RGGO because RGGJo couldn't have been older than 18 or 19 when he joined, and that's if he and Ichi joined almost back-to-back. Y7Arakawa's got pretty solid reasons to turn Ichi away consistently for as long as he did, but I've always wondered what made RGGOArakawa do that when Jo is hardly any older.

Pure Speculation Here, but he's honest about not wanting Jo to kill people anymore (not that he listens because like Mine he has I Know Best disease) and being bothered by it, so perhaps if there is anything there, it could be partly about regretting who he's shaped Jo into being and not wanting to repeat those mistakes with Ichi. And with those themes of powerlessness being reinforced with regard to Y7Jo's violent tendencies, it is potentially interesting to examine when it comes to looking at Y7 in relation to RGGO <- hasn't connected shit

Speaking of, I was thinking that might be why Y7Arakawa doesn't have The Drip. Because the point of the decision to have RGGOArakawa and RGGJo both predominantly wear a neutral shade with an accent color and then have their palettes be complete opposites was, I think, to set them up directly as foils. Whereas of course with Y7Arakawa and Y7Jo, once you peel back a layer or two, they have that inverted coordination Thing going on and are perfectly harmonized. But this is why you using Jo's pink and purple is galaxy-brained lol we COULD'VE still had it

ALSO I probably should've explained it to begin with but 223 = 2 in katakana is pronounced tsu and the kanji for 3 can be read as mi :')

16 v 18 can be big for some people versus other people- like how 18 is technically an adult in most cases, so i can see that being a reason as to why RGGOarakawa would be more lenient towards jo versus ichi 😷

naw i think that a fair connection to make it dont seem like a hard one to believe anyway ♪(´▽｀) i mean i dont imagine jo was AS brutal as he is nowadays versus when he first joined the family, and i want to believe arakawa mightve eventually noticed that shift at some point. again with ichi being so young (and being just about masatos age too) it's sort of like. How Do I Give This Kid A Decent Future With The Cards He Has yk what i mean

yeah that makes sense. in y7, we've already talked bout how jo is less of The antagonist and is more of a cog in the machine, so to speak: he more so contributes to the real antagonist as opposed to starting or doing anything by himself for his own personal motivations (tho ig his motivations are linked with masato but we get what i mean), so it makes sense for his and arakawa's wardrobes to contrast less (esp if they're supposed to be on the same team with relatively the same goal. in an awkward way).

i wont act like im super smart when it comes to drawing things- i REFUSE to lie and say i draw arakawa with the rggo drip for any reason aside from Its Fire As Hell BUT im glad we can still make the outfit still carry some meaning despite that LMAO (❁´◡`❁) at the very least i can say i genuinely did give him jo's purple and pink intentionally to connect them and for once not cause im lazy and didnt want to get new shades for himvjlajvl

[lesser-mook]

'A 17 year old with a 19 year old is not illegal. It's only illegal on Twitter.' Well said, Jesus." - No, not well said. But good cope.

"A 17 year old with a 19 year old is not illegal. It's only illegal on Twitter." "my girlfriend is 17 and im 20 and we have been dating for 3 years now what the f" "Same thing with me and my ex, it isn’t illegal as long as you’re above or at the age of consent I believe." "yeah it’s completely acceptable if there’s like a small age gap but once it gets in the double digits it starts becoming weird till both are like way past their 20s"

Excuses excuses excuses.

All the women in your immediate vicinity and it had to be a 17 yr Old.

And the best defense is its "only a 2 year difference", that's the best you got- reductive reasoning.

"only"😂Like P3dphiles🐻 dont say the exact same thing to justify their pursuits.

"its only"

Keep in mind, there's a clear difference between a 5yr & 17yr yes, yet you're rationalizing it the EXACT same way as the pedo's😂😂 and nobody gonna point that out because twitter is the consensus scapegoat in the thread. Twitter's the bad guy so i can admit I dated a 17 yr old still in school on a public forum:

(Using all 3 IQ points)

If yall were dating before you got legal, fine.

Then be the adult and put it on pause until she's 18. Period.

PERIOD.

If it's not a big deal because of the short gap, why isn't it equally not a big deal to just wait? Isn't she worth it? But you don't want to have that conversation, right? It's not about her, it's all about you and that itch.

And if it don't work out because of the pause, then it was never real in the first place.

How many of em dating these kids end up with 40yr marriages anyway?😂 Does it really really matter that much to where you gotta make excuses to date a 17yr kid still in school because you graduated 6 months ago?

Because Twitter threw a fit over it?

These boys want circumstances to conform to their wants instead of yous just following the rules, because when the law inconveniences you?

OH WELL, then its not a big deal, it's only 2 years, amiright boys?!!

That's not how that shit works kiddo, 1-3 years may stand legally with Romeo & Juliet laws but those are exceptions

if you have to rely on that shit just to get by- JUST GET A WOMAN or wait. Why are some us trying so hard to make this stand, and somehow not come off as a creep.

If you said: "Yes, it's sus, but we're not touching until she's 18, we'll date but it's platonic, we've known each other and dated a while before I turned legal, we'll just hold out until her timetable catches up and we'll move on from there."

Fine! But none of these mooks are using any nuance of that magnitude.

They're just trying to brush it off entirely, & make exceptions because that's convenient because the topic applies to them. And will circle jerk the same opinion on some echo-chamber shit. The same shit Twitter & every other site does.

Then age of consent in OTHER countries comes into the discussion (massive #Cope) because: desperate to justify it. Sounding like anime fans.

Sounding no different from straight up pedophile's (in terms of argument) I swear to god. Why do we try that hard just to inadvertently admit we won't wait until she's 18 because apparently in their mind she's not worth waiting for- is what they're indirectly saying.

But if another group of ppl used the same logic to get what they want, and you didn't like it when they do it (but they're using your same exact logic) then you'd be acting like twitter.

Rules for thee. Not for me.

Too many of us are tripping hard balls, it ain't a big deal or a conversation until you start making excuses.

Soon as you start making excuses- JUST STOP! And re-evaluate if that's the hill you want to die on.

If she's 5 months out from 18, then just wait. If its 2 years, make sure her parents are cool with it #1, and or just wait. If she's worth it, you'll wait.

Because if you can't say "It's not a big deal" if that was your daughter? Then close ya trap.

But you see, none of those people in that comment section will ever acknowledge that perspective: of a parent

Because all the people talking the loudest are bunch of ignorant young bucks who's first concern is the ends regardless of the means.

And the punchline is, most of these youngins will argue why dating a 17yr as a 19yr-20 schmuck is not a big deal. But will have nothing substantial to offer these girls tangibly- beyond the starter pack.