#kakuzu x hidan

[sorakimichi]

Commission ✨

 ⠀   يصور الجحيم على أنه العدالة الإلهية اتي

[mikafantasma]

What did you do Hidan?

[usuratongaychi]

KakuHida + NSFW below

literally my favorite akatsuki ship omfg

bonus:

mm they would hate-fuck so much

[ladykissingfish]

*Deidara and Hidan burst in through the back door, white-faced and trembling*

Sasori: Oh, good God … what’s the matter with you two?? Where are your COATS?!

Deidara, holding his shaking hands under hot water: W-w-was a b-b-bet, D-Danna. To s-see who could l-last longer w-without anything h-heavy on!

Hidan, trying to shove Deidara away from the sink to put his own hands under the water: I w-won, asshole. Y-you got in h-here before m-me!

Deidara: N-no I d-d-didn’t, hm! Y-y-you —

Sasori: Both of you stop it this instant! You should be ASHAMED of yourselves! Do you realize that it’s entirely possible to DIE, exposing your bare skin to below-zero temperatures for prolonged periods?? How even old are you both? Must I look after you like CHILDREN?!

Deidara: B-but S-Sasori! It was a b-b-b—

Sasori: START BETTING ON NORMAL THINGS LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!

Kakuzu, coming into the room: No need to explain the situation, I heard it all from the living room. I went and drew them a warm bath. They can take one together, seeing as how they’re choosing to act like infants.

Sasori: Thank you, Kakuzu. *goes to Deidara and starts stripping him out of his clothes, while Kakuzu does the same to Hidan*

Hidan: *starts laughing through chattering teeth* T-t-thanks, old man! I j-just won a h-hundred b-bucks off of t-this d-dumbass!

Kakuzu: What?

Deidara, scowling: H-he bet me that if w-we did s-something like this, S-Sasori would j-just lecture and y-yell at us, but K-Kakuzu would d-do something to actually h-help us! 

Sasori:

Sasori: I … was going to help once I was done “yelling”, Deidara. *changes his voice to be soft and gentle* My love, have you no idea how much I care for you? I just —

Kakuzu: You can save it, Sasori. When I walked in here, even I could see it; you were literal seconds away from killing them both, telling the rest of us that they’d died from frostbite, and then taking their bodies to turn into puppets.

Sasori:

Sasori: … that does not prove that I don’t still love Deidara, I just —

Kakuzu: Just make sure your brat pays mine before the end of the day. I’ve decided he’s going to buy us dinner to celebrate one of his stupid decisions being profitable for a change.

Sasori:

[aidejacob-u]

[yowyowyaoi]

Deidara: You ever just look at your boyfriend and think, damn, this guy is annoying. He’s ugly and not all that smart and more than a little insane … but I still love him. What does that say about ME?

Hidan: Every single day, blondie. Every. Fucking. Day.

Obito and Kakuzu:

[kaedeisreal]

kkhd textposts

[sunnybunny33]

Ref:

[baccoart]

Uncensored on X an Bsky

[grogetta]

okay but what was the reason for the shot to pan up to his face looking so forlorn and upset when one of kakuzus hearts got obliterated?? what was the reason??!?!?!?

[sorakimichi]

[mikafantasma]

Better not disturb...

#kakuhida #akatsuki #soogood #Hidan #Kakuzu

[felyxxx]

I was just reading Sha no Sho, The Third Naruto Databook. Both Kakuzu and Hidan characters have their own pages here... but what got me laughing so hard is this page:

Quite innocent, right? Just some information about Hidan. But the last line...

Like, what are you trying to imply? Horse and ITS rider. My KakuHida heart can't handle it. Who's the horse, and who's the rider?

[ladykissingfish]

I have a question, do you think anyone in the akatsuki calls their partners petnames?

Hm. I think … Kisame wants to, with Itachi, but feels like Itachi would reject the idea. But then one day he slips up and says “honey” or something and Itachi pauses, gives him a confused look, but doesn’t say anything negative to it. Then a few days later he refers to Kisame as “my dear one” within Kisame’s hearing and someone’s gotta pick the big shark man up off the floor.

I feel like Nagato very regularly calls Konan “Angel”, more so than using her actual name, probably. She very softly calls him “anata” which makes him blush redder than his hair every single time he hears it.

Hidan calls Kakuzu “old bastard” and Kakuzu calls Hidan “shitty brat” and that IS their “pet names”. Except maybe sometimes when Hidan is sleepy and lounging in Kakuzu’s arms, he’ll look up and say ‘Kuzu’ in such a low, sweet voice that the others would drop of shock if they heard it. Kakuzu will stroke his hair and sigh and say “I have no idea why I love you so much” which isn’t a pet name situation but he puts a heavy caress over the word “love” so that Hidan understands his feelings.

Deidara calls Sasori “Danna” and although this isn’t really a pet name, the way he says it has turned it into a very lovely term of endearment. Sasori who is very emotionless and not used to giving affection would have to be with Deidara a long time before he felt confident enough to call him anything other than “brat” or his name, but when he gets to that point, he goes completely overboard with it. “Sweetheart”, “Baby” “Darling” “Love”; and he almost always adds “my” in front of everything. Because Deidara is HIS, goddamit.

Tobi tried to call Deidara “babe” once but it … did not go well 😅

[sleepy-hawks]

A servant and his collar

[yowyowyaoi]

*Kakuzu sits by an unconscious Hidan’s bedside, speaking quietly to him*

Kakuzu: Hidan. Please. You have to try and pull yourself together. Please. You’ve been asleep for five days, now. It’s never taken you this long to heal yourself before.

Kakuzu: *starts to tear up*  Is this it, then? Is this the definitive limit of “immortality”? What if — I can’t bear to think of never seeing your eyes open, never hearing that voice of yours again … * lays his head down on Hidan’s chest and gives a long, shuddering sigh*

Sasori, quietly coming into the room: Kakuzu. I’m sorry for the disturbance, but I came to check his vitals again.  *goes to Hidan and starts his daily examination*

Kakuzu: Sasori … why is this taking so long? When will he recover?

Sasori: Difficult to say, honestly. His body needs time to recuperate before he’s ready to wake up. I realize it doesn’t usually take him this long, however each injury is different.

Kakuzu: I know …

Sasori: I … couldn’t help but overhear what you were saying to him, when I came in. *sits down next to Kakuzu* Honestly, I’d likely be as nervous and scared as you are, if it were MY brat laying here. But for what it’s worth … Hidan is very, very lucky to have someone who loves him as much as you do, and —

Kakuzu: Love?? What in the world are you talking about, Sasori? The very last job we did before he got hurt was a bank heist. We made off with over twenty million. I sent Hidan ahead and told him to hide the money while I dealt with the witnesses. This one — *points his finger at Hidan* —managed to hide the money so well that I can’t find it anywhere, and I’ve looked absolutely everywhere! And then he has the audacity to pass out before he can even tell me where it is! 

Kakuzu: *starts to openly sob* Twenty million! WAKE UP ALREADY AND GET ME MY MONEY, YOU GODDAMNED IDIOT!!

Sasori: