#kakuzu x hidan

[mikafantasma]

What did you do Hidan?

[usuratongaychi]

KakuHida + NSFW below

literally my favorite akatsuki ship omfg

bonus:

mm they would hate-fuck so much

[kaedeisreal]

kkhd textposts

[sunnybunny33]

Ref:

[grogetta]

okay but what was the reason for the shot to pan up to his face looking so forlorn and upset when one of kakuzus hearts got obliterated?? what was the reason??!?!?!?

[yowyowyaoi]

Deidara: You ever just look at your boyfriend and think, damn, this guy is annoying. He’s ugly and not all that smart and more than a little insane … but I still love him. What does that say about ME?

Hidan: Every single day, blondie. Every. Fucking. Day.

Obito and Kakuzu:

[sleepy-hawks]

A servant and his collar

[ladykissingfish]

*Deidara and Hidan burst in through the back door, white-faced and trembling*

Sasori: Oh, good God … what’s the matter with you two?? Where are your COATS?!

Deidara, holding his shaking hands under hot water: W-w-was a b-b-bet, D-Danna. To s-see who could l-last longer w-without anything h-heavy on!

Hidan, trying to shove Deidara away from the sink to put his own hands under the water: I w-won, asshole. Y-you got in h-here before m-me!

Deidara: N-no I d-d-didn’t, hm! Y-y-you —

Sasori: Both of you stop it this instant! You should be ASHAMED of yourselves! Do you realize that it’s entirely possible to DIE, exposing your bare skin to below-zero temperatures for prolonged periods?? How even old are you both? Must I look after you like CHILDREN?!

Deidara: B-but S-Sasori! It was a b-b-b—

Sasori: START BETTING ON NORMAL THINGS LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!

Kakuzu, coming into the room: No need to explain the situation, I heard it all from the living room. I went and drew them a warm bath. They can take one together, seeing as how they’re choosing to act like infants.

Sasori: Thank you, Kakuzu. *goes to Deidara and starts stripping him out of his clothes, while Kakuzu does the same to Hidan*

Hidan: *starts laughing through chattering teeth* T-t-thanks, old man! I j-just won a h-hundred b-bucks off of t-this d-dumbass!

Kakuzu: What?

Deidara, scowling: H-he bet me that if w-we did s-something like this, S-Sasori would j-just lecture and y-yell at us, but K-Kakuzu would d-do something to actually h-help us! 

Sasori:

Sasori: I … was going to help once I was done “yelling”, Deidara. *changes his voice to be soft and gentle* My love, have you no idea how much I care for you? I just —

Kakuzu: You can save it, Sasori. When I walked in here, even I could see it; you were literal seconds away from killing them both, telling the rest of us that they’d died from frostbite, and then taking their bodies to turn into puppets.

Sasori:

Sasori: … that does not prove that I don’t still love Deidara, I just —

Kakuzu: Just make sure your brat pays mine before the end of the day. I’ve decided he’s going to buy us dinner to celebrate one of his stupid decisions being profitable for a change.

Sasori:

[sorakimichi]

[mikafantasma]

Better not disturb...

#kakuhida #akatsuki #soogood #Hidan #Kakuzu

[kenconffetti]

Meet-ugly or meet-cute 💐💐💐

[basilsimp43]

Kakuzu: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee.

Hidan: If I was married to you I’d drink it.

[aidejacob-u]

[vampillaarts]

Hear me out

[yowyowyaoi]

*Deidara barges into Kakuzu's room late one night* Deidara: Alright, old man ... I know what's going on, and I'm ready and willing to kill you over it, hm! Kakuzu: Pardon? Deidara: Don't act dumb! I've been watching you this last week! I see how much you're hanging around MY danna! Kakuzu: Listen, child, I -- Deidara: I get it, just because you're both old and have a lot in common, you think you're better for each other than him and I are, right? Well you're wrong! Sasori is my soulmate! He's the one I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life! You're not gonna take him from me and I won't -- Kakuzu: Calm down, Deidara. I'm not trying to "take" Sasori from you. Believe it or not I'm actually quite content with Hidan. Deidara: But then why have you two been so close lately? Kakuzu: We've been talking about collaborating together on a mutual interest. I collect money and your "soulmate" collects bodies for his puppet collection. We were thinking that perhaps we can lure very specific people to the hideout, and once we get them here, we kill them, I harvest their organs, which are currently going for all-time high prices on the black market, and afterwards he gets their bodies for his collection. Deidara: O-oh? That's -- wait. What do you mean, lure them here? How do you think you'll do that, hm? You and Danna don't exactly give off friendly vibes ... Kakuzu: Ah, see, that's where the benefit of having younger, objectively attractive partners comes in. Just how much DO you love your "Danna"? And how far are you willing to go to "help" him? Deidara: What do you mean? I -- *Hidan comes out of the bathroom, wearing a dress and makeup* Hidan: Oi, old fuck ... is this "sexy" enough for your stupid plan or what?? Deidara: ...

[sleepy-hawks]

Sleepy and Diva