#kakuzu x hidan

[yowyowyaoi]

Hidan: Hey, blondie, I need ya to do me a favor. Deidara: Yeah? Hidan: When the old bastard comes out of his room, I need you to hold my hand, laugh like I just said the funniest shit ever, and let me kiss ya on the mouth. Deidara: ... What the hell, man? Why would I do all that?? Hidan: Because that stupid fucker has been chasing after his goddamned bounties left and right all week. He's barely even looked at me this week! BUT I bet I can make him jealous if I get him to think me and you are dating! Deidara: *sighs* You can't ask Uchiha to help you? Hidan: Already tried that but shark-dick threatened to bite my arm off. C'mon, what about all the shit I do for you? Deidara: Name one single thing you've ever done for me, hm. Hidan: ... Alright fine but just help me out here asshole! It ain't like you got shit else to do! Deidara: Fine, fine ... *Kakuzu comes out of his room* Deidara: *tries to keep the grimace off of his face as he grabs Hidan's hand* HA! You're so funny, Hidan! You tell the best jokes! Hidan: It's always fun to make someone so beautiful laugh ... *leans in to kiss Deidara; Deidara almost chokes at the taste of blood that's in Hidan's mouth* Kakuzu: ... Brat. Are you telling me that -- Hidan: *puts an arm around Deidara's waist hard enough to bruise him* That's right, fucker! I'm with someone who loves and appreciates me! What do ya gotta say about that?! Kakuzu: Kakuzu, tearing up: Hidan. I am SO HAPPY. Hidan: ... Huh?! Kakuzu: Finally, I'm free of my financial and emotional obligations to you! And I don't even have to feel guilty for "dumping" you because you've found somebody even better than myself to be with! Kakuzu: *putting his hand on Deidara's shoulder* Congratulations, my friend. Take care of him, and, saying this with genuine sincerity, good luck. You'll need it with this one. Kakuzu: *walks out whistling, a spring in his step* Hidan: Deidara:

@kakuhidaweek

[sunnybunny33]

Ref:

[usuratongaychi]

KakuHida + NSFW below

literally my favorite akatsuki ship omfg

bonus:

mm they would hate-fuck so much

[grogetta]

okay but what was the reason for the shot to pan up to his face looking so forlorn and upset when one of kakuzus hearts got obliterated?? what was the reason??!?!?!?

[sleepy-hawks]

A servant and his collar

[kaedeisreal]

kkhd textposts

[sorakimichi]

[ladykissingfish]

Kakuzu: Come, brat. Lets get on with this inane ritual of yours while the night is still young. Hidan: Trick or treating isn't "inane", bastard. You know you'd probably feel a lot better if ya didn't have a big fat stick rammed up your ass all the time. Kakuzu: I'm merely trying to draw your attention to the pointlessness of all of this. You have to buy some overpriced costume that isn't even really scary, to parade door to door all but begging for candy? Hidan: For Jashin's sake, the candy is FREE. I'd think that you of all people would appreciate some FREE shit! Kakuzu: For once, I'd have to argue that "free" isn't needed in this case. You truly think you need all the candy you get? With as many cavities as you have?? Hidan: You know what? Fine. Stay at home then, you stupid bastard. Better you don't come and ruin my fun. But don't expect me to cut you in on my profits later! Kakuzu: ... profits? Hidan: Yeah, profits. I only keep about 25% of the candy I get. The other? I keep it to sell to Itachi and Tobi. They blow through their own sweets really fucking fast and when they do? They get DESPERATE for more candy, at ANY price. I was able to buy a new scythe last year with the money I made off of Tobi alone. Kakuzu: Hidan: But go ahead, tell me some more how this is stupid. Kakuzu: Kakuzu: ... I love you.

[felyxxx]

I was just reading Sha no Sho, The Third Naruto Databook. Both Kakuzu and Hidan characters have their own pages here... but what got me laughing so hard is this page:

Quite innocent, right? Just some information about Hidan. But the last line...

Like, what are you trying to imply? Horse and ITS rider. My KakuHida heart can't handle it. Who's the horse, and who's the rider?

[yowyowyaoi]

*Kakuzu walks into Hidan's room* Kakuzu: Brat? Come now; you've kept me and the mission waiting long enough. Where are you? Hidan, from the bathroom: I'm in here, old fucker. Kakuzu: I swear if you're spending an hour on your hair again ... Hidan: It ain't that, bastard! I ... I can't come out! Puppet-dick fucked me up! Kakuzu: ... Sasori? What are you talking about? Hidan: He said he'd treat me to some barbecue if I let him test one of his new potions on me. You know how I love some good barbecued meat! Anyway I drank it, and ... stuff happened, and now puppet-dick is working on a cure or some shit for it! Kakuzu: Good Lord ... well, it looks like your gluttony finally caught up with you, brat. What did he do to you? Hidan: *steps out of the bathroom to reveal long hair, wide hips, and large breasts* Hidan: He turned me into a bitch! Kakuzu: Kakuzu: And ... and this is terrible because -- ? Hidan: What do you mean? I'm a WOMAN! I have tits and -- Kakuzu: *grabs Hidan around the waist and pulls him closer* Why be in a rush to have Sasori fix this? Why don't we give this a few days, see what happens? You ... you look fantastic like this ... Hidan: ... I do? Kakuzu: *gently slips Hidan's robe off of his shoulder and starts kissing it* You do. *the next day* Sasori: Ah, Hidan. My apologies again for the mishap yesterday. But I'm working quite feverently towards an antidote, so rest assured that by this time tomorrow, you should be back to -- Hidan, covered in hickeys: N-no rush, puppet-dick. This new body ain't all that bad ~ Sasori:

@kakuhidaweek

[or0ch1maru]

𝟭𝟴+ 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗗𝗡𝗜, 𝗳𝗲𝗺 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗔𝗸𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ;)

•

𝗛𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗻 & 𝗞𝗮𝗸𝘂𝘇𝘂:

•these two love nothing more than a brat, someone to challenge them. someone who pushes their limits.

•both are brat tamers, all for punishments and funishments. You want to act out? Too damn bad. They’ll be the first to pull you into their room and snap that mentally right from you.

•toys, being tied up, sensory deprivation, all these among other things they’ll use on and against you. they truly enjoy watching the way you whimper, begging for them to use your holes.

•Kakuzu & Hidan are definitely on the rougher side of things but they both know when you need gentler loving, and won’t hesitate to slow down if they feel that you can’t handle it.

•praising? Forget about it, that won’t come until they’re done with you. “𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗮 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹”, “𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗱𝗼𝗹𝗹, 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁?”, “𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁. 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲.” Are the comments they’ll coo and mewl into your ears as they mark you up and stuff you.

•are gods at aftercare. Hidan wasn’t aware that it was something that should and needed to be done after a session. Kakuzu had to explain it to him but once he understood, he was the first to jump up and make you comfortable. bubble baths, body massages, playing with you hair. These are just some of the ways to two will take care of you.

𝗦𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗶 & 𝗗𝗲𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗮:

•these two will take their time with you. They say your body is art and will marvel at you like you’re on a pedestal.

•what you would think would be a short and quick fuck, would turn into hours of pleasure. Each whimper, moan, and whine that escapes your lips only eggs them on.

•definitely taking turns. While one fucks you, the other will play with you. They enjoy doing this while in missionary. Deidara will have you up against him while his red haired partner fills you up. The blonde will play with your nipples, stroke your frame, nibble on your ears and leave purple marks on your neck.

•Sasori won’t cum yet. He’ll pull out and let his partner take his turn. Sasori will gently place your hand around his shaft, having you slowly stroke him as a test to your concentration.

•the pair love to praise. Especially when you’re taking both of them. “𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗮 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹 𝗮𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝘂𝘀.”, “𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆.”. they also love caressing & touching your face any chance they get.

•kisses. whether it’s on your lips or your neck, even your inner thighs, kissing is one thing they can’t go without. eye contact is another thing the two crave. they feel it’s a pure bonding, and intimate connection.

•their version of aftercare involves cuddling and sleeping. once everyone’s been cleaned up, they’ll place you gently between them, wrapping you up under the blanket and they’ll trace over your body and play with your hair until you fall asleep.

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻 & 𝗞𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗻:

•pain will have Konan focus on you first. Watching as his partners face is buried between your legs, causing you to cry out as her tongue flicks over your clit. He enjoys the way you grab onto her hair when she slides her fingers into you, almost as if you want her deeper.

•Konan is primarily the top with you, taking control until it’s time to take her partner. Sometimes she’ll have you finger fuck her, pleasing her the way she does you. These two also enjoy bringing toys into the mix. Edging you with a vibrator until you’re begging for release.

•Pain never lets either of the girls feel excluded. Giving both Konan and you the same amount of pleasure and attention. Hates when his girls are dissatisfied. While he fucks you, he’ll hold a vibrator to his partners clit, watching as they both become unraveled by his touch.

•when Pain is near his orgasm, he’ll have both of you get on your knees in front of him. The look of his girls this way throws him over the edge. Covering the both of you in his cum. All over your faces, it dripping down your chins and onto your chests.

•their version of aftercare is taking a nice hot shower. It’ll start off innocent, just lathering yourselves in soap to clean yourselves and before you know it, Pain will have you and Konan bent over and mushed against the shower wall.

𝗭𝗲𝘁𝘀𝘂 & 𝗧𝗼𝗯𝗶/𝗢𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗼:

•doms! This pair takes control. Black Zetsu will be the main focus out of him and white Zetsu, but white Zetsu is the one the praise you during your sessions.

•Obito prefers being the ‘sloppy’ second believe it or not. He’ll watch his partner stuff and fill your holes, listening to the way you cry as you take him. He also loves to taunt you when his partner is deep in your cunt. “𝘄𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗱𝗼𝗹𝗹. 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗿𝘂𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗵𝗶𝗺.”, “𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲. 𝗟𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁.”, “𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗰. 𝗜𝘀 𝘇𝗲𝘁𝘀𝘂 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂? 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗰𝗸?”

•they both love choking. Your neck will be red for hours after each session. Any form of marking these two are able to leave on you fuels them. They both have an ownership & possession kink. They’re not satisfied until you’re covered in purple and red marks.

•another thing to two love doing is pulling out and cumming on your entrance. The pair love watching as you go about your daily activities with their cum mixing together in your panties.

•uses each other for punishments. You piss off Obito? You’ll be paying for that as Zetsu stuffs your holes, his partner will be right next to you as your face is mushed on the wall, into the carpet, into a pillow. The usual taunting will continue, becoming harsher with each sentence. Obito knows his words cause you to become soaked, craving nothing but his cock inside you, and that’s what you’re being deprived of.

•Zetsu is the same. If you anger him, you’re out of luck. He’ll have Tobi bending you over a desk, completely wrecking you. Zetsu does taunt, just not as much as Tobi. What he does instead is stroke his cock. Just out of your arms reach. It’s look but don’t touch, which drives you mad.

•at the end of this, they’ll run you a hot bath. Letting you relax and unwind in the warm water. They’ll be found in the kitchen, preparing a delicious meal for after.

𝗞𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 & 𝗜𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶:

•just like Deidara & Sasori, these two prefer going slow. They’ll go all day if they choose.

•when there isn’t enough time to have sex, they’ll have you take turns riding their thighs. Leaving stains from your juices on their pant legs.

•these two aren’t ashamed of pushing you against a tree while out on a mission. They also don’t care if anybody discovers the three of you getting it on, whether that’s at home in the compound or while on a task.

•hair pullers. That nice bun, or ponytail you had? It’ll be wrecked by the time these two are done with you.

•late at night, they love when you get on top. Taking your time and doing what movements you need to get your release. They love watching the way your tits bounce as you ride their cocks.

•as much as they love using you, they prefer when you use them. If you crave them in the middle of the night, they’ll be more than happy to give you what you want. You want to sneak off from a group dinner and have a quickie in a bathroom, just give them that look and they’ll find an excuse to leave.

•when it comes to aftercare, they will worship your body like it’s the last thing they’ll ever do. Don’t get me wrong, they worship you while fucking, but seeing your body after, sets them both into overdrive. Body massages, compliments and praises, and kissing.

[0ynes]

not that long post about Akatsuki's immortal pair

Man I didn't remember Kakuzu and Hidan being so in love. Kishimoto can't make two male characters interact without them having homoerotic subtext, huh?!

Tsundere Kankuzu in a shoujo: "It's not like I c-care, b-baka! Don't misunderstand!!" Also Hidan why do you want Kankuzu to admit that he likes you so bad?! 🧐

Kakuzu really wanted his partner so of course he'll look out for him 😤

Hidan checking on Kakuzu after the explosion, even though he totally didn't have too, and Kakuzu reassures him immediately. Like usually this type of characters either don't respond or just tell the other to shut up, but Kakuzu explains how he saved himself and reassures Hidan.

The amount of times Hidan calls Kakuzu's name in distress, even though, again, he doesn't have to. Like calm down your husband is immortal!

THEM FLIRTING AND TEASING EACH OTHER like there's no one else there

:(( don't do that. Pain puts a lot of effort in his match making skills to create te perfect pairs.

I feel kinda bad that they died apart.

[basilsimp43]

Kakuzu: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee.

Hidan: If I was married to you I’d drink it.

[sleepy-hawks]

Sleepy and Diva

[kakuhidan]

Hidan: Hey, kuzu, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? kakuzu: ...Yes? Hidan: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. Kakuzu: Fuck. Hidan: It's gonna be a fun week! Kakuzu: Nope. No. I'm going to go stay at The hidden rain. Hidan: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.

[sorakimichi]

Commission ✨

 ⠀   يصور الجحيم على أنه العدالة الإلهية اتي