felyxxx

[felyxxx]

i love how everyone is so serious here except for hidan who looks like this:

[felyxxx]

This story started with just a thought about docile when horny Kakuzu. And I would swear Drunken truth was one of this year KakuHida Week prompt, but I wasn't. So I wanted to post very late story and I did anyway.

Also shows how bad am I at editing. Kakuzu at one point of story had like 4 hands, each on different place.

Anyway, this is just a post about a tired author. Blessed be y'all and many happy readings.

[felyxxx]

Am I cooking a werewolf au?

The answer is yes

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🔥🔥🔥

Modern!Au blorbos

[felyxxx]

Exactly week later, 200 hits! You guys are AMAZING 🫀🔥🫀🔥🫀🔥🫀

Well, 100 hits in 3-4 days. I don't know what about you, but I call it a success. So, chapters 2 and 3 are coming up soon.

But I'll miss that exact word count. Anyway, the link for the story is below if you want to check it out ↓ ↓ ↓

[felyxxx]

Well, 100 hits in 3-4 days. I don't know what about you, but I call it a success. So, chapters 2 and 3 are coming up soon.

But I'll miss that exact word count. Anyway, the link for the story is below if you want to check it out ↓ ↓ ↓

[felyxxx]

WINGED🪽

Hidan finally opens his eyes, revealing more than Kakuzu bargained for. Between divine feathers and an attitude that could test a saint, Kakuzu begins to realize just what he’s dealing with. The question is: can he handle it—or will Hidan be his undoing?

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whoopsie doopsie

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[felyxxx]

@artisttrova is definitely right.

Imagime being Orochimaru at Akatsuki:

This idea always makes me laugh, like:

Orochimaru:*tries SO hard to gain immortality, meanwhile* Sarori: I'm a living puppet. My body is a masterpiece. I can switch them. My core is my heart. Kakuzu: No true immortality exists, but my body is my weapon. It serves my will. I have 5 hearts and 5 lives. Hidan:*headless body slouched on the ground* Hidan's head:*rolling in the floor* WHAZZUP!

[felyxxx]

Imagime being Orochimaru at Akatsuki:

This idea always makes me laugh, like:

Orochimaru:*tries SO hard to gain immortality, meanwhile* Sarori: I'm a living puppet. My body is a masterpiece. I can switch them. My core is my heart. Kakuzu: No true immortality exists, but my body is my weapon. It serves my will. I have 5 hearts and 5 lives. Hidan:*headless body slouched on the ground* Hidan's head:*rolling in the floor* WHAZZUP!

[felyxxx]

KakuHida Crazy Stories Idea:

Hidan is Gen Z

Kakuzu is Boomer

--- like ---

Kakuzu: "This is ridiculous. Back in my day, we didn't need all these 'yeets' and 'vibes.' We just worked."

Hidan snickering: "Okay, boomer. Keep giving those 'grindset' speeches while I manifest my best life, no cap."

Kakuzu glares angrily: "I have no idea what you're saying, but it sounds lazy."

Hidan smirking: "Alright, grandpa. Keep living in your 'hustle' era; I'm out here catching vibes and living rent-free."

Kakuzu getting up: "I'll give you rent-free. It's called getting a job."

🧢 📻 🧢 📻 🧢 📻 🧢 📻

[felyxxx]

WINGED

KakuHida Angel AU

In the shadowy depths of the black market, mercenary Kakuzu thrives in a world of power and wealth—until an unexpected encounter turns his life upside down. When he stumbles upon a naked man with striking silver hair sprawled across the cold stone floor of an abandoned church, Kakuzu has no idea that he’s just rescued a guardian angel named Hidan. As their worlds collide, Hidan's playful charm and Kakuzus's past draw them into a dangerous dance between Heaven and Hell.

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Hidan can't sleep, has existential crisis

Hidan: [tossing and turning] Kakuzu, you sleep?

Kakuzu: [groans] Not anymore.

Hidan: I can't sleep.

Kakuzu: I can.

[silence]

Hidan: Do you think I look like an octopus?

Kakuzu: [turn to face him, complete shock] ...W-what?

Hidan: You know, 'cause they're immortal, so maybe I have some octopus DNA.

Kakuzu: [blinks] That's jellyfish.

Hidan: Huh?

Kakuzu: Jellyfish are immortal. Octopuses aren't.

Hidan: [genuinely intrigued] How do they do it?

Kakuzu: I don’t know. Ask Kisame.

Hidan: [serious] Okay, I will. You know-...

[Kakuzu sighs and pulls a pillow over his head, hoping to muffle Hidan's endless jabbering. The harder he pressed, the less he heard—but also, the less air he was getting. Briefly, he considered suffocating himself just to get some peace, but he gave up after a moment. When he finally lifted the pillow, Hidan was still talking. Now, Kakuzu was thinking about suffocating him.]

Kakuzu: Go right now. Bother him, not me. [rolls over, done with the conversation]

[silence]

Hidan: [snickers] Hehe, you said "Octopussies."

🐙🖤🐙🖤🐙🖤🐙🖤

[felyxxx]

Absolutely right. I still believe that very lost that fight on purpose to just pretend dead and Kakuzu dig Hidan out and they live happily ever after together.

hidan and kakuzu were literally so fucking married.... team 10 should not have won that fight

Ohhhh, the fight. The fight. Hahaha.

I think the really egregious parts for me were:

Hidan not noticing that he had not hit his enemy. That one's weird. Pressure and impact communicate themselves pretty well through an object you're holding and he has a lot of practice hitting people.

Kakuzu just kind of standing still waiting for his rasengan. Naruto canonically is very slow at making those things at this stage. He needs his shadow clone to help. There's a weird part where Kakuzu just stops fighting at all and stands there. Like... you don't want to mount a retreat, buddy? You don't want to, idk, block? Dodge?

I think if they'd given me a really good Kakashi and Tenzo v Kakuzu and Hidan fight (perhaps using Shikamaru to provide the battle plan to provide closure on the Asuma thing, even though I don't really like Shikamaru), I'd have bought the zombi combi defeat. Grudgingly.

But yes I think the canon end to Kakuzu and Hidan was a bland cop out. I'm biased but I'm also correct.

But also even though I love Kakuzu as a character, I do think shippuden Kakashi could have won against Kakuzu. I think they both would have had a pretty good chance of winning that fight, so if the story requires Kakuzu to die, it could have been written as a Kakashi victory.

Hidan... I'm not sure what even happened there. Shikamaru should never have won that. Shikamaru's entire plan hinged on tricking him about whether or not he'd actually hit something?? What?

I am really biased about this one because I also think constructing the Shikamaru-avenges-Asuma story beat as personal revenge arc, using this established setting in which everyone's one mission away from being a hired killer, is tone deaf to the point of absurdity. To me it is misaligned with the setting and represents a frustrating flaw in the delivery of the themes and tone of the manga. (This marks the point in the story at which I took a break for many months lol.)

[felyxxx]

Hidan lore overthinking! Sorry bad english

But the little information of Hidan's life completly brings Red flags all over.

OK. That one thing on the books when his whole village blamed a child Hidan for maybe killing an entire clan makes me think what kind of child they saw him as to be able to do all of that. Even if they confirmed later the Chinoike Clan killed each other, they still thought damn what if this fucking child killed them all.

This also means Hidan as a child thought to go to the place called "the Valley of Hell" where the Chinoike Clan got exiled to. Towards a clan that was dangerous af, and were also scary. The Valley of Hell was also referred as unlivable and smelling of sulfur. No one stopped him, who knows how long it takes from Yugakure to the Valley.

Then he finds the entire fucking dead, massacred by each other. Runs back to his village tells everyone and first thing they do is blame him.

By pure speculation of numbers, Hidan must've been 6 when the war ended. Which is not great. Getting raised through war probably did affect him as well. I know there's no information of Yugakure involvement in that war, but it's in the middle of the Land of fire and the Land of lightning so.

No information regarding parents so either:

Parent's whos kid left the village to a place called the Valley of Hell

No parents

No clue

Also the general idea of raising kids as soldiers and killing machines, and expecting it to be all good. To then be like: "fuck you were getting rid of the military" which how much Hidan talks about fighting like "letting steam off" (seperated to Jashin stuff) he must've liked fighting. It was an insult to him.

Also the Akatsuki have S rank Rouge Ninjas right? Was Hidan a top ninja at his village? Then we get the lack of Ninjutsu and Getsutsu. The symbol of jashin, the blood connection and immortality are never considered as anything jutsu right? These guy it's full Taijutsu and Jashin (which the fact that's never EVER explained that's crazy).

He called himself the slower attacker of the Akatsuki, but that's still crazy fast. He has a demonic momentum, even in the air moving his scythe around. He his beyond athletic too. (Go look at him skipping and spining Shikamaru's shadow).

His fighting is reckless. He throws himself in cause he knows he can't get killed and he is overconfident. But it's better being fast an eratic cause his main thing getting blood, That's why his weapon it's the way it is. He also relies a lot on his ritual and Kakuzu. He never expects people pulling him off his circle. -and when his head cut off he just relies on Kakuzu helping him out any ways.

It's said, he found Jashinism when he wanted to leave the village for demilitarizing. There is theories that Jashin isn't real nor the religion at all, and that Hidan it's immortal by chance. Like Hashirama healing factor being so good. So this mf got Immortal regen or something at birth. If he gained immortality otherwise, affecting the reality of his religion is also out there.

Hidan's approach to religion is also weird. Options: He belives a lie or he made it up and knows it's bullshiting OR it's real.

Hidan prays for LONG amounts of time (which Kakuzu complains about often) would he made up waiting for 30 minutes long just because? Or he belives in needing to pray for that long. Hidan constanly complains about "Kakuzu if this is another of your extra money missions i'm gonna be pissed! Let's just go for the Jinchuriki" I find it weird he would be 30 minutes praying in the ground if he didn't belive the HAD to do it (Disconnected to any validity to Jashisim). Hidan did try to annoy others (mainly Kkz) on porpose so much so... BUT he also referes to praying like 'a pain in the ass, but the comaments are very clear'.

Idk which is crazier: He doesn't believe it and made up shit he even complains about in his religion just to get something out of it (like a justification or martyrs) OR he fully believed in it and still was like "shit i have to pray 30 minutes for this bullshit".

ok... Important part here:

CAUSE WHY TF did Hidan get such a center persective during the Akatsuki plan exposition? (during the 2 tails extraction). He was the newest member ""besides Tobi"" and we got and explanation towards him from Pain himself (fish out the water, the character doesn't know something so they get a explanation so the audience gets it too). I think how the time frames got written sound pretty different based on other stuff but that doesn't matter. He jumps and critics the Akatsuki and Pain directly, we also get him gritting his teeth. Like damn we got introduced to an inner conflict of Hidan's believes against the akatsuki for no reason????? Right after this we also get a positive interaction with Kakuzu and Hidan. Kakuzu doesn't get mad at him for being so againts the leader, and gives him his headband instead. (which he kept tight on his arm for those 3 days of 2 tails extraction) His headband must also be unique compared to others that village no longer has ninja so getting another one can't even be a thing really.

I'm sad their arc was rushed and plenty of stuff got cut. But I understand the circuntsances: crazy schedule, Kishimoto sick, an arc centering someone other than Naruto.

Kakuzu prison and hashirama backstory was obviously there but we didn't get it. Hidan getting his backstory in extra material is also insane. I have no idea if the plan was still killing them by the end of a (longer version) of the arc or not. But maybe they would've gotten Sasori treatment. Get their backstories before they lose. They were the only ones that got cut short so much (besides Konan but she got the backstory in full flashbacks at least).

Kishimoto even had more extra funtions for Hidan's Scythe too. Constantly getting small answers about Hidan in random interviews with him also show what else there was to add to him. +Saying Hidan was his fav Akatsuki and villan too. Sad he also cut Hidan coming back in the war arc cause he had put so many characters, but he probably felt he couldn't do all he wanted to do with him- so left it there.

aka. I love Hidan's character :)