#free comedy
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nakedcomedy · 1 year ago
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coommeister · 1 year ago
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a free comedy club.
i offer a free show. everyone in the audience is only there because, “why not.” it was free, why not? i'll tell you why not.
i walk on stage, i tell the worst jokes of my life. the crowd boos. i pause. i go,
“oh quit the booing. wouldn't it be more fun to throw tomatoes?” the crowd agrees in unison. i then trick every single member of the crowd into buying not one, not two, but THREE tomatoes,
$5 each.
they all sit back down, seemingly content with themselves and ready to toss. i go, “ah but wait, there's a catch” - the crowd groans - “i get to tell one more joke before you can toss them.”
they agree. i pause for a long while. i then pull out a remote equipped with a red button, it reading “detonate” with an “o” that's oddly shaped like... a tomato.
i wink to the stagehand who knows that's his cue. what for? you'll see. i then go, “how many licks...does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?” the crowd boos, preparing to throw. “a-one... a-two-“ the curtain starts closing.
“a-three.”
i push the button on the remote, causing every single tomato to spontaneously combust. i win.
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boombox-fuckboy · 2 months ago
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Last-minute podcast Halloween costume ideas (very scary):
Wet mouth sounds (extended cut)
"Content Warning: Mature Themes." [Do not elaborate]
The episode that is twice as long as any before it
The 80 decibel difference in volume between podcast and advertisement
Sound of distant emergency sirens
"This Episode is No Longer Available"
Live action adaptation
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sofiaherzen · 5 months ago
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MEG RYAN and HUGH JACKMAN in KATE & LEOPOLD (2001) dir. james mangold
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cannibalchicken · 7 months ago
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januscorner · 1 year ago
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The Onion Supports Palestine
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crow-caller · 1 month ago
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started playing fallen london cause of your blog and i absolutely love it! Thank u :)
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Excellent!!! If I have any power, let it be used to get people to play fallen london and its related games (sunless seas, sunless skies = Survival exploration, mask of the rose = visual novel)
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asleepinawell · 10 months ago
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every time i go through the end of ew and see the cs with zenos in sharlayan i have to stop and imagine his conversation with that customs lady at the docks when she asked what his job was and he would have gone off on one of his typical monologues about living for 'the hunt, the THRIIIIIIIIILL of bahttle the raw pulsing ecstacy of being locked together in combat, teeth at each other's throats, giving in to the huungaahh that can never be sated' etc etc and she would have been like uh huh so you're unemployed hmmm i see
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dailyflicks · 2 years ago
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#he can’t even froth his own oat milk Free Guy (2021) dir. Shawn Levy
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rogerdeakinsdp · 1 year ago
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Cillian Murphy + favorite music moments
happy birthday, Robin! (@madeline-kahn)
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yashley · 1 year ago
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Did she keep you trapped?
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spaceprincessleia · 19 days ago
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138 days until andor s2
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friendlessghoul · 5 months ago
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Buster Keaton and Anita Page Free and Easy - 1930
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mysharona1987 · 1 year ago
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Least surprising Amy Schumer anecdote ever.
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talesfromthecrypts · 10 months ago
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When you're part of the other side you see it everywhere. But I must travel on.
Satanic Hispanics (2022) dir. Alejandro Brugués, Mike Mendez, Gigi Saul Guerrero, Eduardo Sánchez, & Demián Rugna
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beccawise7 · 22 days ago
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Tuesday Tidbits:
~An Octopus has three hearts. 2 to pump blood to the gills in order to pick up oxygen & 1 that pumps oxygenated blood through the body. ♥️
~5% of women can orgasm from simply grinding on a man's bulge.😏
~'Zombies' originated in Haiti, rooted in VooDoo beliefs, as reanimated corpses. They are now a worldwide phenomena in the entertainment world.💀
~The average man lasts about 5-6 minutes in bed, while the average woman needs abut 18 minutes to climax. Hmmm🤔
~Honey never spoils. 🍯
~Semen is actually low in calories with only 36 calories per tsp. (In case you were concerned about your intake 😂).
~Our tongues have about 8,000 taste buds, and every individual has a unique tongue print. 😜
~An apple a day can boost your sex life. 🍎🍎
~Be kind to one another. ✌️
Have a wonderful Tuesday & try to laugh a little!
~beccawise7💜🖤
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