#also this is why the idea of zenos surviving and being forced to help the scions is so funny

[asleepinawell]

every time i go through the end of ew and see the cs with zenos in sharlayan i have to stop and imagine his conversation with that customs lady at the docks when she asked what his job was and he would have gone off on one of his typical monologues about living for 'the hunt, the THRIIIIIIIIILL of bahttle the raw pulsing ecstacy of being locked together in combat, teeth at each other's throats, giving in to the huungaahh that can never be sated' etc etc and she would have been like uh huh so you're unemployed hmmm i see

[redsplash1]

Hi hello idk how this works + never gposed in my life so she’s doing literally nothing here but this is my char Tatake Take in her red mage fit <3 featuring Middy cuz he’s bestie. More under the cut this might get long, it’ll just be a mess of ideas with no coherency LMFAO. Currently it’s white glowing hair because it’s post SHB, where she’s channeled the light within her into something manageable, which will inevitably turn back into her original red highlights. Spoilers for like everything up to SHB btw:

Honestly her lore I keep changing back and forth cuz I didn’t start using mods till SHB 😭 (just beat it btw so 🤫 on any spoilers afterwards) Like originally she had cat ears + a tail and it was gonna be a whole thing about her being some kinda spirit/yokai from the forest LMFAO???

Rn the barebones idea I have is that she’s part dragon and hid it till SB when Rhalgr’s Reach was attacked. (I won’t even lie, I’m low(high)key inspired by Dan Heng’s lore from Honkai Star Rail, I’m even debating if I wanna steal the reincarnation thing or not 😭) so yeah she is. Old LMFAO

Zenos with his plot armor and unexplained strength ends up landing what should’ve been a killing blow on Tatake. Everyone watches on in horror, which makes way to shock as she begins to change in response to the physical stress, revealing her draconic eyes, horns, tail, and the glowing highlights of her hair signifying her power. Zenos looks on in surprise, then intrigue as he sees what the famed Warrior of Light has been hiding all this time. Afterwards, it was no trouble pushing away him and his forces back.

(This ends up creating a somewhat subplot conflict between Lyse and Tatake, as the former is angered by this reveal; why didn’t she use this power to save everyone in Rhalgr’s Reach, hell, even back at the Wall? Did Papalymo really need to die if this what their friend was capable of?)

Nobody gets an explanation from Tatake. It’s the twins who get the closest to an answer, which even then wasn’t much. Their mother figure simply says that it was of absolute importance that nobody finds out, as she hid away her draconic features almost immediately after Zenos and his forces retreated. But, she points out with a bitter smile, she supposed it was too late for that now. Alphinaud and Alisaie want to know more so badly, but Tatake’s comfort and boundaries are infinitely more important than any curiosity they have.

On the carriage to Gridania, she kept her answers to Bremondt’s questions pretty vague, aware of two sleepy twins watching with interest. (She/I started as a lancer)

So yeah you might assume HW was a very important expansion for Tatake. It was! Seeing her brethren struggle made her wish and strive for the same thing Ysayle did; peace between dragon and mankind. The dragons weren’t afraid to subtly nudge at her to be her true self, either. Tatake was also not a fan of Estinien’s views and attitude LMFAO

(It’s also the expansion where Alphinaud couldn’t help but notice the way the dragons were talking to Tatake; it didn’t seem like they were exactly referring to her status as the WoL. Of course, he had virtually no information to go off of, so he dropped that line of thinking. Later on, he’ll realize that he truly knew nothing about the Lalafell he figuratively looked up to.)

Side note, Tatake continues to hide away her features until SHB, where the absorbed Light makes it too difficult for her to do so. Fortunately, almost nobody questions it, as people on the First are a bit too focused on trying to survive their world.

Another side note! Tatake currently mains Reaper, but she is also very proficient in Dragoon, Machinist, Samurai, and Red Mage. She’s currently learning Dancer (at least, the Eorzean version of it. She was worried using the traditional dances she knew would have people asking questions), which she finds to be a good stress reliever from her troubles.

Anyways that’s all I got hahaaaaa, I stay off of tumblr and I come back just to go full send on my character 😭 whoever’s got one of those templates with questions for WoL character building plz send, I’d love to fill one of those out for my reference + understanding Tatake more as her writer

[sarenhale]

Just watched the Endwalker trailer.... I am super excited but also heavily thinking about the expansion, and what it will mean for Zenos as a character.

Long ass thoughts under the cut.

He’s posed as the final boss here, the big bad guy, but it made me think a lot when the game and some characters explicitly say: “Maybe Zenos isn’t even our final obstacle, the final days will be’. Which also leads me to think that Zenos is just... well, vibing and thriving in the destruction, but that he could not be the reason the final days are happening and everything is going to shit.

He sure as hell is enabling things to happen, but I don’t know if I believe that he’s the instigator and the one behind the idea. I think he’s more of the opportunist taking advantage of chaos and delirium to act his plan of the final hunt, but I think it has been made clear enough that he doesn’t exactly care about Eorzea ending or wars happening to create an intricate plan such as the one put in motion by Fandaniel, he just wants to relive the hunt with his first friend and enemy once again. (Which don’t get me started, it’s so fucking sad man, don’t make me think about it or I’ll tear up...)

This led me to think ... where will this character go? What will happen? I am VERY torn about this, mostly because SE has done an incredible job at keeping everyone guessing and surprising people everytime with the story. 

Could Zenos end up being an ally? Could he be spared? Can he come to reason? I see people even mentioning that he could be a Scion... I honestly really don’t see that happening, the man is batshit insane and as much as I love him, he doesn’t give a shit about Eorzea or helping the world, and I’m sure 99% of the Scions despise him or just want to see him dead. He won’t be a Scion, that would be really out of character for everyone. (For him to be one, for everyone to accept him as such)

But I do wonder if he will end up being spared, or changing his mind. Maybe being a ‘neutral’ force? Maybe even temporarily allying with the WoL (and only with the Wol, he doesn’t care about the others) to prevent him from dying, because he doesn’t actually want his rival and friend to die. A ‘villain turned ally out of necessity’ situation with him would be cool, and would make sense if he wanted to protect the Wol temporarily from another foe, even for just ‘being the one that has to kill / defeat them’. He’s very possessive over the Wol, I feel like.

I just hope we won’t have to kill him... he’s one of my favourite characters now, so I would honestly be DEVASTATED to see him go, even if I perfectly know he would deserve it and everyone would probably be happy if he did. But I just can’t help thinking about how much I love this character, his story, what he implies, what he represents, all the things he carries with him... I feel like Endwalker will surely give us a lot of content for him, which I am excited and happy about, but I just wish we could not kill him so we get to see more.

This is where I get conflicted because my realist side tells me we already got a fake death, even if we DID kill him, and fight him with the intent to kill. He managed to escape death though, and came back. I just think it would be a bit unrealistic to have him escape death once again, and even more unrealistic having him being an ally. One could argue we already have examples of Garlean villains turned allies, with Nero, Cid and Gaius, but like... they weren’t like this.

What I love about Zenos is also what makes him unreedemable.

Zenos is mad. Zenos doesn’t give a shit about anyone, about life, death, people, slaughtering innocents, about Eorzea, hell, he doesn’t even give a crap about the world ENDING if it means he can have a final dance with his beast. And I LOVE all these unique parts about him, but I also realize those parts are what make imagining him surviving so hard, considering the circumstances. 

Cid, Nero and Gaius weren’t mad with power. Sure, they all did bad things, but you don’t see them talking about how they just wanted to fight one person to feel an emotion and destroyed countries and people for that reason. The others had reasons behind their actions (as bad as those reasons could be, their actions were still guided by logic), Zenos doesn’t. Zenos is a feral animal and follows his istincts, that’s why I find it so hard to imagine him as someone who is not a villain. I would LOVE for him to be saved, to have someone give him a chance, my humane (and emphatic ass) wants someone to take a chance on him also because I feel so close to his struggle, but my realistic side says ‘Yeah, it’s not gonna happen’. 

As much as I love this character and would like him not to die, I also realize he did horrible things and slaughtered innocents without even thinking about it. I went back to check on dialogues of people talking about facing him in the war, and man it’s bad. People basically describe how he wouldn’t even find enjoyement in killing people or winning wars, but how we was just ‘looking for a feeling’ even on the battlefield, while destroying people’s hopes and dreams in Doma and all Yangxia. It’s bad. It’s REAL bad. Sometimes I forget how... bad this character is.

“...I do not think there was any joy in it. Nor justice, nor morality, nor meaning. To him, the weight of one life is no different from that of a thousand.  A challenge had been issued and was accepted. But on finding us no challenge at all, his objective changed. There were tales of imperial soldiers being flayed for slaughtering families. For breaking brave men’s spirits. Only later did I come to understand why. He did not desire obedience. He desired hate… and men consumed by it.  A new battle. A new enemy. A new challenge. The hunt, I am told he called it. A hunt without end. And when all our best lay dead and broken, he left. He left, muttering that we had “bored” him. But our weapons, at least, held his interest. For he took a fallen samurai’s sword, having grown… fond of it. Since that day, he has ever wielded Far Eastern blades. He is said to be fascinated by ones with storied histories, and so soldiers who seek to to curry his favor often present those of defeated enemies as gifts.

Lyse: It’s like all a game to him. People are suffering -- dying -- and he’s collecting swords? “

But man. I don’t know what Endwalker has in store for me, for Zenos, but I sure hope maybe something can happen where he doesn’t die. I don’t know how the fuck that would happen, maybe we would need to see more of him and understand his story/his side better, and see if he actually does want to work with the WoL side by side instead of just fighting him. Maybe that can happen, he does care about the WoL after all, and he knows enjoyement and thrill will come out of being with them. I just don’t know how that could realistically *WORK*... But I sure does hope there’s some kind of compromise, where he maybe just can reflect on his actions and do something about them.

This is my stupid ‘I see too much of myself in Zenos to talk rationally’ self talking, but I am so sad at seeing a character that has struggles and grew up feeling nothing but apathy, being loved by no one, end up like a villain again. Having to just be put down like a feral animal. Again. 

I guess my stupid ass would just like him to be happy, found peace maybe, HELL, I don’t know if he deserves it, but some parts of me tells me he does. I just get so sad when I am reminded at how much his father, family, nation, no one gave a shit about him. That’s too much human and close to home for me to disregard everything entirely and just call him a villain. 

I also am conflicted because I wonder if what I want for him isn’t also out of character, and something that would ruin his character and story. I love Zenos because he’s unapologetically himself, does what he wants, and obeys no one’s agenda, but his wants and instincts. I don’t want his personality and story arc to be ruined by salvation or him randomly becoming an ally and everyone pretending he didn’t do anything wrong, that would make me hate him and SE so much. I would much prefer him dead than him ruined as a character. I do wonder if me wanting him to be spared death and him being unapologetically himself are two things that can’t co-exist- it FEELS like that, honestly. I have faith in SE that they will write him and the story well, and make me enjoy what happens, so at the moment I’m not particularly worried about him being ruined as a character. But I just got to the point where I am so attached that I am of course scared of losing my favourite character. I guess we will have to see, honestly only the game and what will happen in the story can tell me if I am right in having hope for him or if I am not. There’s a lot of possibility in the story, a lot of surprises in SE’s writing everything everytime, and i how they make things WORK, so there’s hope in THAT.

And maybe I want to see a different solution for him that isn’t death. Call it retribution, maybe I am projecting TOO MUCH in this character, but yeah, just being honest and baring my emotions to the world here. I guess we will have to see what happens. 

[edufangrf]

Kortia possible endings

Attention this post is made up of speculation and my reading of isekai and visual novel cliches, so don't wait for proof to prove my point in this post.

 Luna good ending 

The adventurer shows her that there is more to life for her and we help her discover herself, and in the end they both leave their work to live a life far away and full of adventures.

Luna bad ending 

The adventurer can't captivate Luna, so she decides to live the rest of her life as a maid and so the adventurer also decides to continue as a farmer to stay by her side, even though she has given up on the romance with them. A viriation would be for both of them to become servants of a possible villain/demon king for the rest of their lives.

Dyclos good ending

The adventurer helps him to abandon his habits of envy, obsessive pride and in the end after defeating the possible villain, Dyclos approaches us and praises us for our achievement and asks if we would like to join the imperial guard and maybe a possible marriage proposal.

Dyclos bad ending

Dyclos becomes obsessed with the adventurer and everything they did is better than what he did or jealous that someone might steal his adventurer, who resolves to kidnap them and keep them captive for the rest of their lives.

Florus good ending

the adventurer helps her to go through all her troubles and imprisonments for being a future queen and not letting her be corrupted by power, the end would be her coronation and i imagine a scene where she gives a "little flirt" at the adventurer about them becoming her future mates and in the end she said she was serious about it.

Florus bad ending

After losing everything, she becomes the coldest and cruelest queen of the empire, the adventurer realizes what she is becoming, but decides not to block it and in the end becomes her main guard/toy and so they lose the rest of the good sense that had

Alexis good ending

The adventurer helps her that the desire for revenge does not consume her and she remains the good Alexis always, in the end the adventurer would meet her in her study room where Alexis was studying and the adventurer needs her to come back to bed, after a lot of struggle they manage to take her and both fall asleep together.

Alexis bad ending

After her father's death, Alexis was never the same and the adventurer couldn't help her, so after the defeat of a possible villain, Alexis becomes the leader of a movement against the Kortian empire and the adventurer joins her, in the end a guard appears at the meeting ordering them to give up and Alexis order the adventurer to kill him, they then end the guard's life losing their senses for good.

Gerald good ending

In this ending the adventurer helps him to get out of the illegal world and clear his name, after some time they both decide to take a trip to Geralde's homeland and halfway through he thanks them for helping him change his life and a asked them to stay with him for the rest of their lives.

Gerald bad ending

Here the adventurer can't take him if his life as a thief and decides to run away with him, in the end would show a chase of them fleeing the guards where the adventurer is mortally wounded and Gerold is forced to leave the person he loves behind to survive.

Zeno good ending

 Some years defeat the villain, show Zeno and the adventurer at a party but both are more mature and with a more serious relationship, at this party Zeno declares all his love for them and proposes to them (I really don't know what to write to he)

Zeno bad ending

Here all his friends end up dying and leaving him in a deep depression, in the end the adventurer finds him crying in their grave and he asks that both should end as he can't continue with the relationship. The adventurer tries to stop it, but Zeno makes his final decision and leaving them in tears.

Kor good ending

Kor is unmasked as a traitor to the empire, but the adventurer helps her back to the light and help them fight the villain, in the end they both become autonomous adventurers go to Umi's shop to buy weapons, there he asks them about if they've already got married and Kor doesn't talk, but after that they both have a talk with Kor's daughter about a possible marriage

Kor bad ending

The adventurer finds out about Kor's treachery, but decides to join him and help the villain to take the Kortian empire, so they become the biggest traitors and hated by everyone, but they don't care about that as they are both on the right side ,it is not?

The hero

In this end the adventurer doesn't get any of the top 7, but helps them with their problems and was the main one to defeat the villain, here the adventurer decides to live the rest of his life in the kortia empire with the friends they made.

Alone

After failing to solve anyone's problems, the adventurer decides to leave the Kortia Empire forever and full of regrets for not getting anyone's help and leaving Kortia in a political crisis.

Back home

In this ending the adventurer finds a way to get back home, but for that they need to abandon everyone, they know it's a selfish decision and that this world needs them, but why can't they be a little selfish the end here doesn't their house, they didn't want it, i think abandoning them isn't a bad idea.

This is the end

in this ending it's the same as the hero's ending, but here some sacrifices are made and not everyone ends up alive and the adventurer has the choice of abandoning kortia or continuing and helping with the reconstruction.

my congratulations, you died

This ending would be if the adventurer finds the ending in some chapter or in the end the adventurer ends up being murdered by the villain.(can also be used as a joke ending)

The Villain

In this ending, the adventurer is corrupted by the death of his friends or lovers and by defeating the villain they take his place and only moved by the desire to destroy this world that took everything they had.

Sacrifice

in the end the only way to save this world is with a sacrifice, so the adventurer takes the lead to give his life for everyone, in the end the adventurer would appear as a ghost and see that his friends built a statue in his honor and how his life has followed without them.

[aspectedstar]

[Info updated as of Patch 5.55]

Name: Listelle Viyrel

Unsundered Name: Ephine

Gender: Female

Age: 21 in ARR, 26 in EW

Race: Raen Au Ra

Relationship: Official with an untempered Elidibus, but still lowkey that not a lot of people know of their status.

Family: Biological family is unknown. Her adoptive Miqo'te parents she keeps in contact with. The Scions of the Seventh Dawn and Elidibus are her main sources of 'support' these days.

Orientation: Bisexual / Demisexual

Nameday: 16th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon [August 16th]

Abilities/Talents: Archery, Botany, Cooking, Able to speak multiple languages [thanks Echo], Healing, Reading.

Job: Former conjurer turned White Mage; Archer/Bard; Adventurer; A Scion of the Seventh Dawn; Botanist whenever help is needed.

Appearance description: A pale-skinned Raen Au Ra that stands at 4 fulms and 9 ilms. Listelle has dark blue, shoulder-length hair with bangs that naturally curls at the ends. Black highlights are added into the mix and always reapplied whenever they start to fade. Sometimes, puts up her hair in high side-ponytail that has a braid embedded around the back of her head. Has side bangs that hang from her face with this hairstyle as well. She has heterochromia eyes with her left being a pale blue, while her right is a bright purple. Listelle is slightly muscular, but also petite. Her body has vanilla scales peppering her body here and there. Mostly can be seen on her face; Her horns a slightly curled, but go backwards only a bit from her face. The tail she has a few spikes here and there, but it's thin. Mostly spiking at the end of it. Usually wearing a pair of reading glasses, because her eyesight isn't 100%.

Unique features (scars, tattoos, etc.): Multiple scars across her body from battles over the years. The biggest one was from the first meeting with Zenos, where he ended up nailing her in the abdomen badly. The scar is a jagged line in sideways line that covers a good portion of her middle to lower back. Listelle is very self-conscious about this particular one; Doesn't like wearing gear that shows off that part of her body.

Personal Beliefs (religious or otherwise): Fully believed in the Mothercrystal and the Twelve, but has changed since the events of SB into ShB. Mostly because of what Elidibus and Emet-Selch had told her. Still believes in a sense of one's wrongdoing will bite them in the ass later in life.

Residence: Medium house plot on the beach in Shirogane, Hingashi. Amaurot on the First.

Birthplace: Somewhere in the Black Shroud.

Dreams: When the world is done being saved, which is almost never; Wanting to have a peaceful life with Elidibus as much as possible; Hoping that one day more White Mages can be sanctioned by the Padaji; Maybe one day have children, but that's not as important.

Fears: Dying when the world needs her the most; Seeing close friends and family die in front of her again and again; Injured to the point she can't fulfill her duties as Warrior of Light; Losing any of her senses.

Introverted / Extroverted / Ambiverted (bold what applies)

How do they handle stress?: When in front of people, she tries her best not to show she's bothered. There are ways for others to know she's about to hit her limit. Listelle is known to pace around a room, fidget with her hands, and get teary-eyed, but the latter is hard to see. Only ways she can combat it is behind closed doors, or out in the wilderness when no one is around. Going out into nature to find plants or hit trees with her axe is one way. Another way is to basically beat her frustrations out in cooking or baking foodstuffs. Resting under trees when only one can hear naturalistic sounds.

What’s the state of their living quarters? (messy, clean, etc.): That depends. Usually, it's a disorganized mess. Much to Elidibus's dismay, she can usually find things easier than him. If he ever tried to clean her home, she'd yell at him on not being able to find anything. It's not completely trashed, but enough to know someone lives here. As the Warrior of Light, she doesn't get enough time to do homely chores. So, it's mostly left go for weeks at a time.

How do they handle meeting new people?: Listelle usually is kind and friendly to people she meets. Though, it depends overall on the new person (or group)'s attitude, body language, voice tone, and facial expressions. If they come off rude and negative, she is more reluctant to be as nice back. However, since she is not the diplomatic person, she usually leaves all the table-talking to her fellow Scions. Will chime in with a few words, if asked. It all depends on the situation and people involved.

When facing certain doom, what’s their outlook?: It's...questionable. Try to keep a stoic facade, but inside she would be screaming. Or, she'd probably look at like this: Why not going out with a huge bang of glory, and take her foe(s) with her? As a healer, she understands death, but is afraid to die at the wrong time. Regardless, she will tackle it the best she can.

What do they do to relax?: Reading any books she has in her shelves. Have Elidibus tell her stories of the world before it was Sundered. Cooking and baking when she has the time. Gardening, when she has time, yet again. Sitting under trees listening to nature. Go to the beach when no one is around. Stargazing with Elidibus at night.

What’s their favorite outfit?: Her 'civilian' clothes with the Azem constellation crystal as a necklace pictured blow.

Traumas: It's been several over the last few years of becoming the Warrior of Light. From being a healer, she has had a hard time accepting she can't save everyone. The loss of Haurchefant hit her physically hard. He saw Listelle as herself, not just the 'hero' or a weapon to be used by the city-states. Still goes to visit his grave in Coerthas when she can. Seeing the turmoil Garlemald had done to Ala Mhigo and Doma's regions. Zenos yae Galvus, because he reminds her of herself at certain times. How they can relate, as much as the Raen wishes not to admit it. The entire events of Shadowbringers with fighting for another world to holding in the light corruption. Her aether is still a mess, even after Ardbert had joined his soul with hers. Ending Emet-Selch's life, even when she understood his plight and ideals. Having to fight and kill Elidibus; The ONE PERSON that understood and had true affection for her. Yet, he was tempered by Zodiark, so they were forced into battle. It still haunts her to this day that she may lose Elidibus forever.

About them as of current story patch: As of Patch 5.5, Listelle is struggling on what to make of seeing that being surrounded in light. Being told the Final Days is coming--which is no doubt with Fandaniel and Zenos--and the entire world is on her shoulders. This is stressing her out to no end, even with Elidibus trying to keep her calm. He is her main anchor to keep her grounded currently. With the possibility of going to Sharlayan, she is not happy. Possibly having to keep the untempered Ascian unseen, depending. For now, she is stressed and pacing about what to do.

History: Listelle was found outside the doors of a Miqo'te couple living in the Black Shroud. Only a single note saying: "I cannot care for her; I'm possibly dead by the time you read this. Her name is Listelle; Please raise her well". The baby was an Au Ra Raen female, but they had no idea if there was such a family nearby. Living mostly in an isolated area, they didn't get many visitors. Just some adventurers, botanists, conjurers, or miners that came through the area. Despite this, they willingly took the baby in. They had issues trying to concieve their own child, so Listelle would fill the void. The void of trying to have a child, which they had now.

The Raen would come to know her parents as Sizha Vebei, her mother, and Rehzih'li Vebei, her father. They lived in a small cabin in the Southern part of the Shroud. Away from settlements like Camp Tranquil and Quarrymill, they kept to themselves for the most part. They raised their adoptive child as good as any adoptive parents could. With the times that Rehzih'li would go to Gridania for work and supplies, he would ask around about Listelle's family. He usually came up empty handed as per usual. This went on for years, until the Seventh Umbral Calamity hit Eorzea.

Listelle was 16 summers old when Bahamut broke free of Dalamud to reign terror from the heavens. The Black Shroud went up in flames in several areas. Thankfully, herself and her parents survived, but lost their home to the flames. The family was devastated, but then they decided to move on to a battered up Gridania as other refugees. They would have to make a new life within the city-state.

To the five years leading up to ARR, Listelle practiced conjury within the Stillglade Fane. Her parents had taken up other odd jobs to support themselves and their daughter, so Listelle had decided to do the same. With people becoming adventurers, the Raen decided to do the same. With her aetherpool higher than most, she fit right in with the Conjurers' Guild. Even with weird looks, the Au Ra flourished under their guidance and care. She would learn how to properly harness healing magics, as well as learn to borrow from the very Elementals of the Twelveswood.

Eventually, Listelle would become more involved with restoration efforts to help Gridania. Only her efforts would soon become widespread. Widespread enough for a certain organization to recruit her to their cause..

Feelings towards others: (add or remove as relevant)

- Elidibus – Her official partner, who she had a rocky relationship for years. However, it changed much after his defeat by her hand on top of the Crystal Tower in the First. She loves the Ascian dearly and would do anything for him. He had been there as well for her during some stressful times, despite him being under Zodiark's influence. They confide in each other constantly, and is a major support pillar for Listelle.

- Emet-Selch [Hades] – Despite their brief interactions, Listelle came to understand more about the Ascians. Even if it was a hard pill to swallow, the brief details Elidibus mentioned to her started to make sense. Like pieces to the puzzle was finally coming together. She would indulge and ask him a lot of the Ascians' history, the Old World, and the like. As much as her comrades didn't like their Warrior of Light conversating with their worst enemy, she ignored them...sometimes. She was upset to end his life when they couldn't come to some sort of understanding. She still has sobbing fits over Hades' demises, because of the fact of the Azem constellation crystal she has. It was even hinted that he knew of something going on between her and the Emissary at the time. Listelle always denied it, but there was a twinkle in those golden eyes that he knew of something.

- Feo Ul - As much as Listelle appreciates them, she can't deal with their sudden mood swings. The Fae being the Fae, she can't understand the times she gets yelled at for not summoning them. Being called cruel and heartless by Feo Ul made her uneasy around the pixie. Just over the course of the Shadowbringers, she saw the good in the King of Faeries. They became the next Titania, yet, they still treated Listelle as their most precious mortal. After all, they WERE connected by a pact! Feo Ul was another pillar during her struggle to contain the light corruption within her. The constant affection and support helped keep the heroine to move forward.

- Alphinaud – Meeting him the first time made her want to rethink her choices. However, with his constant presence helping her with 'official talks', she has been grateful for him. He has come a long way and has grown. Listelle hates meetings, and groans anytime Alphinaud tells her she has to go. Because she is the hero, she has to go, despite her wild protests.

- Alisaie – It took a bit for them to grow on one another. Alisaie understands when Listelle has her moments. Moments she wants to hide, but also treats the Raen like an actual person. Not just the hero, not just the Warrior of Light. Listelle finds herself getting teased when Alisaie fawns over her, depending if she's down or upset about something. Mostly by Y'shtola though.

- Y'shtola – Their relationship is...weird at best. Y'shtola and herself have their moments when they get into arguments. However, she knows the Miqo'te woman wants the best for her. During the events of Shadowbringers, she was worried over Listelle's state of taking in the Lightwardens' corrupted aether. Y'shtola and Ryne were there for her as they journeyed to Emet-Selch's domain. Full of Light, the heroine had a hard time doing basic tasks at times. Due to this, Listelle appreciates her. Just doesn't like when she teases her about Alisaie and G'raha's constant admiration of her.

- Thancred – Saw him as a flirtatious man who she didn't want to deal with at all. He even made comments about her 'beauty' on several occasions to get under her skin. However, as the years went by, she began to learn he was a lot more. Mostly learned this during her time on the First with the others and Ryne. Just the interactions between him and Ryne made her heart ache for them both. Including when they had to go back to the Source.

- Urianger – This Elezen made her want to rip her hair out most of the time. Just the way he spoke, his mannerisms made her so confused. Had to get the other Scions to repeat what he said to her many, many times. Still not fond of his secrecy behind her back on the few times. However, she does understand it's a necessary evil, yet she hasn't completely forgiven him yet. Though, she does appreciate any vital information he can provide her.

- Tataru - Oh sweet Tataru...Listelle loves the receptionist to death. Another person who treats her like she's a normal person. However, how she manages to get things done makes Listelle double think herself. Like the time the Lalafell wanted her precise measurements to get her outfits made. Just the way Tataru brings up results is quite...scary. The heroine watches herself whenever she's around the Lalafell woman.

- Minfilia - The first person to understand she had the power of the Echo. All those years of not understanding random visions she had when she was a child. She learned more from Minfilia over the course of the years. Only to be upset when she disappeared, then find out she was connected to Hydaelyn. She looked up the Hyur and she still misses her from time to time.

- Papalymo - The duo of 'Yda' and Papalymo made her giggle at times. There were times she didn't quite understand the relationship between the two. She got along with the Lalafell fine. That is, until he sacrificed himself to contain the newly born primal at Baelsar's Wall. She wanted to stay behind and help him, but alas, was forced to flee with the others. She still thinks about him from time to time, hoping he's watching over them from afar.

- Lyse - Wasn't sure how to feel about her until after the whole incident at Baelsar's Wall. She had come to understand Lyse as someone who wanted to fight for her homeland. As they journeyed over Gyr Abania and Othard, she had come to see the woman in a new light. With how she handles matters in Ala Mhigo with Raubhan at her side, she hopes the city-state flourishes under their care.

- Gaius – Rivalry since taking on the Ultima Weapon. However, with tackling the Weapon Project, she put aside her dislike for him. In order to stop these machines of death, she would work alongside him. Listelle began to see him in a new light as the Weapons consumed most of the orphans he saved back then. With only Allie left and the Weapons done with, she hopes Gaius can find some sort of peace.

- Nero – Despite him working at the Garlond Ironworks now, she still finds him quite annoying. Though, she has to admit he has helped her on several occasions when Cid couldn't. So, she'd tolerate the man at best.

- Cid – Thankfully to the Garlean many times over. With his few interventions to save her from certain doom, to helping her take down Omega. The accomplishments and shit they've seen and done is enough for a novel or two....or several. She gets along with him fairly well.

- Haurchefant – The Elezen man from House Fortemps and Camp Dragonhead. It was no wonder the silver-haired male admired her from the start. Even wanting to rush in to stop her from taking on Shiva. Never do anything reckless again! He had said to her, which she had meekly agreed to. When fleeing from the bloody Ul'dah banquet, he was a pillar of strength during that time. With most of the Scions gone, she blamed herself for their loss. Alas, Haurchefant wouldn't have none of it. Always cheering her up with hot chocolate and word of encouragement. However, when he died in her arms saving her from a pillar of light...Listelle was devastated. She was depressed for a long time, and still is when she thinks about it. Still blames herself for his death, even if he wanted her to smile. "A smile better suits a hero"; A statement she won't forget easily.

- Aymeric – The first meeting with him..she wasn't impressed. She had heard Ishgardians were uptight and unwelcoming. As much as he sounded polite, she didn't trust him off the bat. However, as time went on, she began to realize he was much more than. Even inviting her to a dinner after Nidhogg's defeat, which she enjoyed. Just his question about what she wanted for herself? She knew not the answer to that at the time. Regardless, the Raen goes to visit him when she can.

- Estinien – This dragoon is so stiff was Listelle's first thought. She didn't exactly like him off the bat. However, the journey across Dravania opened him up to her. She did try her best to understand him, but it was hard. As the years went by, she had come to know he had paid respects to Yysale, which she appreciates. Even the time when she collapsed in the Ghimlyt Dark, trying to persuade Zenos/Elidibus to stop this madness. Estinien had rescued her, which opened her up to that he was more good than she thought. Now with him joining the Scions, more opportunities to know him better have opened.

- G’raha – Annoying scholar to deal with when looking for the damn aethersand. Made it a game, then she promptly yelled at him for making her run around more than she had to. Investigating the Crystal Tower together, she did appreciate his work. When he locked himself away in the tower, she was a bit sad to see him go. Listelle did understand why he had to do it though. During the events of Shadowbringers, she had her suspicions on who the Crystal Exarch was. She couldn't completely confirm who it was, until she was being consumed by Light Corruption. Despite all this, she scolded him greatly after winning the fight against Emet-Selch. She knew he had a deep admiration for her, but only saw him as a friend. Regardless, their friendship is still healthy and blossoming.

- Other Warrior of Lights - Appreciates their hard work and resilience to keep the fight going. No matter what, as long as there is a light, they can still prevail.

[Character sheet made by @lizzy-dotharl. Template taken from @earthlystar.]

[illegiblewords]

Fic Writer Meme

Swiped this because it looked like fun!

Name

Fandoms

Most popular oneshot

Most popular multichapter

Actual worst part of writing

How you choose your titles

Do you outline

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?

Callouts @ Me

Best writing traits

Spicy Tangential Opinion

Tagging: @nilim, @azwoodbomb, @wouldyouliketoseemymask, @parvus-pica, @peregrineroad, @spiral-seeker, @frostmantle, @autumnslance, @strangefellows, @redbud-tree, @maccaroni-eh, @entropytea, @prettyparadoxes, @ivalane, @kunstpause, @fogfens

Name: Illegible or Illegiblewords lately. I’ve switched it in the past a few times.

Fandoms: I’ve been in Final Fantasy XIV for the past couple of years now. Passively I might be in Pathologic fandom and Dragon Age fandom? Maybe others too on and off. I was in comic fandoms for a long time but honestly that spiraled into a hot mess of epic proportions so I’ve mostly peaced out of there. Still love stories, characters, and buddies from there though.

Most Popular Oneshot: Ironically it’s Ideation for Bladerunner 2049 haha. I did exactly one fic there right after seeing the movie and didn’t go back, but I thought it was very good and I had a specific story I wanted to tell. It’s one of my most popular fics, and given it’s gen too I’m actually kind of happy about that.

Most Popular Multichapter: The Immortal Wound for FFXIV fandom! I had only just started writing for the fandom, and the series leading up to this fic was my first time writing NPC shipping in FFXIV. I was seriously, SERIOUSLY nervous at first! I wrote the first fic, Posturing, as a personal challenge to do an ambiguous protagonist/NPC since I saw other people doing that and wanted to see if I could pull it off. Posted it at around 4 in the morning then deleted within a few minutes out of anxiety lol. A week went by before I read it again, realized I still liked it, and put it back up for good. That being well-received helped encourage me to keep trying, and by The Immortal Wound it was getting solid attention. The experience really meant a lot to me!

Actual Worst Part of Writing: Probably chapter maps within the outlining process for me. It’s needed for how I approach things, but shit is anxiety-inducing and stressful af lol. I basically plan each event out in high detail before actually writing the fic, so when the time comes for me to legit write I’m more or less following a plan I can trust. Making that plan is the tough part.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Often titles are the last things I figure out before starting the fic itself. I know I like punchy stuff if I can manage. Sometimes it’ll be one word, sometimes it’ll be a quote or song lyric, sometimes it’ll be a saying, sometimes it’ll be a phrase that feels fitting. I go fast and loose usually, and tbh I’ve tried to tell myself not to overthink it too hard. I do try title related works in ways that have some thematic link when I can.

Do You Outline: HahahahahaHAHAHAHAhaha yeah. Straight up my outlines are eldritch terrors for their detail, length, and complexity. I don’t mean that as a brag at all, seriously--I tend to get frozen a bit if I don’t have an outline by and large because it’s hard for me to keep track of what’s in my head and plan accordingly. Just end up with too many moving parts + revision and pacing get wonky otherwise.

Depending on the project I might have sections tied to setting, characters, magic systems, religions, etc. at the top. Fanfic this is less likely but does crop up sometimes.

To give an example of the first bullet of the first chapter of an ongoing fic:

Post-Shinryu, the Warrior of Light lingers in the Royal Menagerie alone at his own insistence to search for the Eye of Nidhogg. In the process he remembers the fight against Zenos and Shinryu. Note he was overcome by an almost feral rage at Zenos’ assumption that he was the target of anything resembling lust. Those attentions (“bite down upon my jugular”) belong to another, but note similarities of two pale-eyed, long-haired blondes. Seeing Shinryu, the Warrior had no idea whether Lahabrea survived within. The fusion was horrifying to see and as he fought he didn’t hold back because besides obvious dangers, he was also ready to mercy kill if needed. Also note Warrior wanted to intervene against Thordan for Lahabrea but wasn’t fast enough, questions a little privately how far he’d have gone against him. It might not have mattered even if he’d managed since he knows Lahabrea was going crazy and unable to listen. Locating and examining the Eye, he recognizes how drained it is. Certainly not enough to threaten him when dealing with post-battle exhaustion. So he reaches inside with his own aether, relentless in pushing aside every foreign element—Nidhogg, Thordan, the corrupted Rhalgr, the places Zenos caged them all under his own will. Zodiark’s tempering is what helps him ultimately find Lahabrea, who is barely alive. Zodiark’s tempering has preserved what it could but has a much more tenuous grip in consequence. When the Warrior finds him Lahabrea isn’t even aware, functionally unconscious. The tempering flares against him defensively and this time the Warrior focuses on it. This is all that has allowed Lahabrea to stay alive. He could force himself closer but there is no vessel. Besides, the process of separating a fragile soul so deficient in aether is too great a risk. So he keeps the Eye.

It’s not the only bullet of comparable size for that chapter. The overall piece has at least 40 total chapters, but probably more.

Ideas I Probably Won’t Get Around To, But Wouldn’t It Be Nice: Tbh probably some of the earlier WIPs I have that aren’t finished already. Not just FFXIV (Dead Language, With Good Intentions) but other fandoms. I could end up circling back in the future one day but who knows.

Callouts @ Me: “NO MORE WIPS HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE OVER 20″, “RELEARN HOW TO DO DRABBLES”, “GET UR PRESENTS DONE”, “REVIEW OTHERS MORE THE STAGE FRIGHT IS RIDICULOUS”.

Best Writing Traits: I try to write any character as the hero of their own story/with the capacity to be someone’s favorite. I do my research and prioritize telling a good story first and foremost. I can change my writing style according to need and am good at capturing the cadence and word choices of different characters.

Spicy Tangential Opinion: If no transaction has been made (esp. monetary), no one owes you shit online. Not reviews, not hits, not praise, not agreement, not content of any sort. It sucks to feel like you’re creating to a void. It sucks to be passionately in love with a rarepair when other ships are drowning in art and stories.

People still don’t owe you.

If you don’t like someone else’s content, create something exploring what you do like... or even why you don’t like that content. Tell a story. Create art. Make photosets and playlists and analyses. If it is not a literal crime (as opposed to portraying fictional crime), don’t discourage other creators no matter how awful you might find their stuff. Lend your own voice to an alternative as convincingly as you can. And if that doesn’t persuade others, you need to keep honing your own skills.

If you want more of something to exist, spread inspiration. Again this can be in storytelling, art, photosets, playlists, analysis, you name it. Give form to your passion. And if others disagree or don’t respond, keep working at it. This is a skill too, and it takes practice.

I’ve found it shows when work is created out of a sense of guilt, fear, or obligation. The quality is much lower and no one latches on to keep building in-turn. And IMO it is essential to build up rather than tearing down.

[starblood]

headcanon: survivor’s guilt

               if you ever ask xel what her biggest regrets are, you may be greeted with a moment of silence as she considers. after all, she has many, many regrets, ranging from the monetary to the emotional to the fact that she hasn’t seen her family in a fairly long time. she writes home every now and then, of course, but with how busy she has become, it has grown rarer and rarer. she still tries to send out a letter every week or so, tries, but seldom succeeds anymore. but that is not her biggest regret.

                 in truth, her biggest regret is being a survivor where so many of her friends have fallen in her journey. it began when the coup in ul’dah took place and she found herself fleeing for her life to ishgard. being unable to help her friends escape and not knowing if they were alive or not haunted her profoundly for quite some time. in ishgard, she found herself adopted as a ward of house fortemps, leaving her to travel the city and grow intermingled with the politics at hand. one can say it was ishgard that truly began xel’s understanding of politics, the moves by the great houses catching her attention and leaving her a keen student to try and comprehend what it was she was seeing there. while politics was not something she ever enjoyed, xel knew that to survive, she likely had to learn about such things. she had a capable friend in aymeric and haurchefant both to guide her in such subtleties and it was with their help, ysayle’s help, and estinien’s, that the secrets of the dragonsong war began to unravel for her. 

                 it was at the vault, however, where survivor’s guilt began to manifest for her. they went to stop thordan, make the attempt, and haurchefant took a blow meant for her. xel remembers well the grip she kept on his hand, the words he spoke ( “a smile better suits a hero.” ), and the loss of her friend all too keenly. she remembers how she smiled for him in his last moments. and she remembers how she wept later, only for her to push her tears away when she saw the grief from aymeric. the one thing about xel that she learned over her journey was that she could cry later. others need her more. but alas, that was not the last of it. knowing that aymeric was wounded also gave her regrets anew ( “if only i was faster, if only i was stronger, if only i was--” ) that still haunt her now.

                 months later came the fight upon the bridge as they pushed back against the griffin, months after she learned of moenbryda’s sacrifice to bring the matter of white auracite to her attention, another great loss took her. she had to save one friend at the cost of another’s life and xel was forced to watch as papalymo spent his life to save theirs -- and how he threw her onto the ship when she insisted on staying with him; she would have spent her life to help him. another friend had fallen and that drew a not-healed-over pain back to her. her tears did not fall so easily that time and so she threw herself into her work in those regions with fierce alacrity, only to find herself unexpectedly tangled with zenos. the sight of so many lost at rhalgr’s reach did not help. so she found herself facing him time and time again.

                 and he came to call her friend as well, friend -- and yet she witnessed that end in the menagerie. to see zenos cut himself down? it wrenched something in xel’s heart. it inspired an odd sort of grief. she was one of those whom protected his body against desecration before his burial and xel spent long hours simply studying his face, trying to understand why it would cause grief at all. but it was not for her to say. 

                 events continued onwards and then her friends began to collapse, one by one, out of the blue. the cause was unknown, the migraines caused by a voice reaching out to her, by a soul seeking out to touch her own, and xel felt absolutely helpless as she saw them all falling into that comatose state. it was the worst of timing for they were all prepared to face elidibus in his guise of zeno’s body and that set a certain sense of violation in place for her. had it not been for estinien, she would have perished. more of that guilt piled on when she wondered about her friends, wondering if they were aright, and then, at last -- she arrived in norvrandt by way of the exarch summoning her to that place. xel felt a new guilt in being there, yet she was for the time stuck -- and she found herself connecting with another whom she had not thought to see again.

                 the exarch implored for her aid in saving that world and, with no better option left to her, she agreed. she went in search of alisaie first and met tesleen, but that was but another stone upon the pile of guilt she carried when she saw what happened to her. but there was no time to grieve. they had too much to do. too much to focus on. another moment came when she thought y’shtola had perished once more, and even though there was talk of the Flow, it worried xel for what would that do to her friend? had it not been for emet-selch, they would never have found her again. and xel was grateful to him for that. 

                 and then ... there was emet-selch himself. solus. hades. the building of Light in xel left her crippled and ryne saved her, if only just, just enough to keep going. to keep functioning. she had talked with him several times, taking what knowledge he offered, even if she did not trust him at first. there wasn’t much there -- and after the events on mount gulg, xel had no idea of what to make of his behavior or the exarch’s. she nearly thrust her friends away from herself ( and she knew she was going to give urianger a terrific what for when the time came for it. ) out of anger and frustration and pain - for the Light contained within hurt more than she could say. how could something be so painful? but it was to emet-selch they went and it was the vision of amaurot they found and she found her heart breaking anew. 

                 at that final confrontation, she tried her best to protect her friends. she tried. the light threatened to overwhelm her and it was with ardbert’s help that she managed that final step. ( “if you could take one more step, to save both our worlds ... would you?” ) but it was what came after, in seeing that smile of acceptance and what she would almost have called peace upon hades’ face that broke her heart. her friends were alive, and she knew that she despised the ascians for what they had done -- but that did not stop her from the grief she felt for taking everything he had seen and held and felt for so long and ending it.

                   so it is that if you ever ask xel of her regrets, she is not likely to speak of those she has lost, those she could not save -- but there may be that look of a quiet grief in her eyes, a sadness to her smile, before she answers with something flippant. after all...

                   a smile better suits a hero.

[noblehope]

Hey! When you get the time/drive, I really want to know what personally draws you to your muse! What is it that inspires you so much? What do you admire in them? What do they mean to you? Just give me a sweet, sweet feelings dump :D

   … ah. No one’s ever really asked me this before, I think??? It actually caught me off guard. I’m still hibernating until my days off again but I really want… to answer this now. Though forgive me cause???? Idk where I’m going with this.

   I… I really don’t know how to answer this, I’m sorry. It’s a very… hm. Idk, I’m actually not that good at describing stuff when it comes to me personally. 

   I’m drawn to… Everything about her. It’s weird how important she’s become to me. I’ve had other favorites, other characters I felt a bond with and adored, but throughout my life Sonia’s just been special. Even new characters in new fandoms I get involved in (karma from c/inderella phenomenon, zeno fro a/katsuki no yona) I really can’t explain it unless you have yourself. She’s been a constant in my every day life and I don’t remember how or why it started.

   She wasn’t one I was drawn to at first. I remember, I did Twog/ami’s and G/undam’s ftes first. Those were my first “I really like them”. I just… I can’t remember, but by the end I really did like her most of all. She was the one who led me to roleplaying on tumblr, not Sakura. I had… roleplayed a little bit with my bf at the time on Skype as her and Peko, but I liked rping Sonia more. Haha, I wonder… how would this all have turned out if I had chosen Peko instead? I plan on rping her at some point so we’ll see how that goes.

   Okay, I looked back on my steam trophies and I see that I completed Sonia’s FTEs on May 6th, 2016. I beat the game on May 12th, and Sonia was the 3rd one I had completed (Gundam first though it would’ve been twogami first if he fucking lived i remember now how i had nyoomed to finish his in island mode, Fuyuhiko second which I remember blazing through during the fun house because of being fucked locked from his ftes and THE 2ND TRIAL UGH I NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON IN HIS HEAD,  and the final event revealing that he survives somehow but yes)

    So yes, of the survivors by that point I can definitely see that she had won my attention since I didn’t complete any others during my run in story mode. But… that brings again, why?

   Okay let me ramble on for a second about my other favs of the franchise: Sakura, and Hoshi. They all seem such different characters but I believed it was around mm… this time last year, that I discovered what they all had in common: some kind of self sacrifice.

   Hoshi sacrificing his future for revenge, Sakura sacrificing her life for her friends, and Sonia sacrificing her desires and wants for her country. That is a big thing why I adore her, I would say it is the second thing, but we still haven’t reached the root of her importance to me beyond just “everything”, and I do mean Everything, even her flaws, though that’s a topic for another time.

     “Do you not agree that dismissing a different set of values due to ignorance is foolish?”

   This. This is the driving force behind my interpretation of Sonia, and always will be. This reflects so much in the game. How she’s the one to ask everyone if tying up Komaeda will solve anything, but if it’s what’s everyone agrees to she won’t object. She’s genuinely the only person in game to stop and think about Komaeda even if he is “troublesome” (excluding Chiaki and Hajime), and I spotted that a mile away even when I hated his guts in story mode. It doesn’t matter to her if someone’s ways of thinking is strange, she wants to understand. She wants to know how they think, and this extends to her interest in true crime and serial killers as they shouldn’t be thought of as “mere murderers”, because their reasonings are far more complex than that. It doesn’t mean she will agree with them, but she doesn’t want to dismiss them as just.. unreasonable, because to them they are being reasonable and just have different values. She wants to know the why.

   As well though this is just my headcanon, Sonia’s been stalked with the intention of being murdered. It’s cathartic to her to learn about things like this. Again, that’s a topic for another time tho since this is getting way too long.

   She’s so… often thought as naive, but that shouldn’t be confused as ignorant. The language barrier doesn’t help. Sonia’s one of the smartest in the cast and I will defend that as truth forever??? She’s so so smart, she’s so talented, like holy shit. 30 languages? All these topics that’s required of her to know because of her being apart of this strange and almost fairytale-like land’s royal family? Like, holy shit.

   But, we learn through the little tidbits she gives us Novoselic is far from perfect. You can read in between the lines (um hello? Weapons everywhere despite it being a peaceful nation? Basically raising children soldiers with them knowing how to drive tanks in grade school? An underground blackmarket for creatures we only know are a nobility status and required for courting, and grow/shrink when angered and scared or whatever I think that’s it tho?), and see how unhappy she is with her country with certain things. (Sonia mentions how consuming a Skong is her country’s ritual for her to be recognized as an adult but she refuses to do it) She wants to change her country for the better. It’s time to move forward and Sonia wants to be the one to start it.

    There’s also so much she’s hiding from everyone. Her final FTE is her breaking down in front of Hajime, collapsing and sobbing in his arms as she cries out how she wants to go home. How he thinks she’s finally letting herself act like a normal girl, and how before he had thought “of course she’s scared”, when he sees her hands shaking and that being her only betrayal. It’s just…. gahhhh… I could talk about her for hours.

   She’s just so… so, so amazing. There’s a fire inside her and just this overwhelming kindness to everyone and she’s so strong. She inspires me. She’s so fun to explore and crack at because I want her to experience everything, and imagining her in alternate universes like siren sonia or serial killer sonia (which um I’ll start up again someday) is so fun, because I always make sure she is still Sonia at her core. I want her to feel, I want her to break, get angry, fall in love, develop both positively and negatively and see how it changes her.    I’ve said it before but always kinda jokingly… idk, the best answer to “what does she mean to you” is… Idk, she’s my daughter. Not my waifu, not my lover, not my whatever. A daughter. I love her. She makes me happy. I have a little nendoroid of her??? And I kiss her little head for good luck when I’m going out and feeling nervous, and it’s my favorite thing in this world, I about cried when I got her as it was random chance. I’m… IDK IM CRYING RIGHT NOW. There’s so much to say about her but I can’t say it properly just how much she means to me and why she inspires me so. She just does, she’s not perfect but she’s so wonderfully important to me, not only for my creativity, but like. She’s my rock.

   It’s… really something, when you learn so much both about the world and yourself through roleplaying and researching a muse. And, just what I’ve been through, it’s all because of her. I don’t think things would’ve been the same if I had chosen someone ese to roleplay first…  I’ve had people compare Sonia to me, and gosh is that a delightful feeling that makes me smile. She’s radiant and makes people feel at ease, and it’s a blessing to know I evoke the same emotions and people feel strongly enough to make a comparison. That I’m doing something right. I don’t think she is me, I’d never use the word kin, its just… idk? Being compared to someone you really care about is an amazing feeling. It makes me want to keep doing what I’m doing.

    But ahh… I’m, rambling so much and Idek if I’M MAKING SENSE? I love her, I really love her, and nothing comes close to what ideas she’s given to me and what peace she brings as well. Like okay, Ik it’s fun to shit on ko/daka a lot but I’m so thankful for him bringing her into existence.     Ughhhh I’m crying and CANT SEE ANYMORE so maybe this is where it should end. Please just know I absolutely adore this character and I am honored that I bring her to life for people through roleplay and invoking emotions (being proud of her, being scared for her, etc, not only just cause Sonia but gosh is it powerful when you know people are moved by your writing) through that, that I can bring others to appreciate her (even Sonia haters to liking her, which is such a feat) and love her too. To make people understand her a bit more and how many layers, some even contradictory, she has.   I really really hope this makes things a bit clearer even if it’s a mess of emotions, and that it’s the sweet sweet feels dump that you wanted.

   there’s so much more i can say but i figure this is enough

[acrystalssoul]

Ruby wasn’t exactly sure when she fell for Y’shtola, but she did. She thinks it was before the crystal braves coup d’état. When she laid eyes on the scions’ mining garb, that’s probably when. Almost distracted her from what was going on, it just suited Y’shtola perfectly.

From there, Ruby just payed more attention to the miqo’te. The way she spoke was just elegant and clearly portrayed her intelligence, but also conveyed a kindness. The desire to protect, to save the realm. Ruby couldn’t help but be drawn to it.

Then the coup happened. The sultana was poisoned, the scions betrayed and separated. Lyse, then Yda, and Papalymo got lucky compared to the rest, they escaped after buying the rest of the scions time. The others weren’t as lucky. Thancred and Y’shtola stayed back during the escape to give Ruby and Minfillia a better chance to escape. But in doing so cause Thancred his ability to manipulate aether and Y’shtola to get absorbed into the Lifestream. Then Hydaelyn took Minfillia away, leaving Ruby to escape alone.

She thought she lost all her allies that night, Alphinaud was nowhere to be seen.  Her emotions where all over the place. She couldn’t even process Y’shtola’s supposed death over all the others. The night was just much.

Then it was revealed that all of them escaped, to varying degrees.  Y’shtola was ‘found’ first, and once revived Ruby felt relived. If one survived the rest could too.  Of course, the fact it was Y’shtola they found first lifted Ruby’s spirits.  She was elated to see Y’shtola again, even if was under those circumstances.  And the gear Tataru made for Y’shtola just made her stand out more to Ruby as well.

After her revival Ruby, subconsciously at first, tried getting closer to Y’shtola.  Spending her time with the scion where possible, letting down her guard and trying to get to know her.  To her surprised, Y’shtola also wanted to get to know her.  Not that there was much to tell; Ruby grew up as an orphan and turned to adventuring when she was old enough, taking up the lance and making her way to Gridania, where she caught the attention of Yda and Papalymo.

Not that she kept to the lance, Ruby found that she liked being the ‘shield’ of a adventuring party.  Taking to the Great Sword, Axe, Sword and Shield before settling on the Gunblade; the right balance of offence and defense.

But all in all they grew together throughout their time dealing with the troubles of the realm.  From the Asians and the Empire, though to dealing with the Dragons and the troubles in Ishgard.  Even helped one another when Alexander popped up in Dravania.

Then the Ala Mhigan revolution came to the forefront, to which the Scions of the Seventh Dawn would assist. But doing so lead to Papalymo’s sacrifice, using up his life force to briefly contain Shinryu, a dragon primal summoned by the Griffin, the leader of the revolution at the time. We managed advert disaster by using Omega, an apparent Allagan weapon, but the loss of Papalymo was still felt.

On top of that it’s turns out Yda wasn’t who she said she was: She is Yda’s younger sister Lyse. To the surprise of none of the scions apparently. Despite that, they used the opportunity to push into Ala Mhigo, with Lyse taking over the revolution, determined to get her homeland back.

After making it through the border between the Black Shroud and Gyr Abania, Ala Mhigo, the scions pushed through the fringes into the resistance base at Rhalgr’s Reach. But that success was short lived.

The Garleans raided Rhalgr’s Reach, with the Emperors son, Zenos yae Galvus, leading the raid. It was a hard fight. Ruby wasn’t strong enough at the time, she barely held her own. Not only that only she could stand against Zenos, who wounded Y’shtola in the raid and overpowered Lyse.

They only survived because Zenos grew bored and the Eorzean Alliance arrived. With the battle ended Ruby turns her focus to Y’shtola, who was badly injured and unconscious.

She was very quickly attended to however, the scion was an important member of the group after all. None the less Ruby was filled with worry til Y’shtola woke up.

When she did, Ruby stayed by her side in her free time. She was relieved that Y’shtola was fine, or as fine as one is while recovering. So relieved that she let slip how worried she truly was.

To which the scion couldn’t help but tease her for. Ruby couldn’t help but go red in the face before turning away and mumbling the reason why. That she was in love with Y’shtola, that she lost her once she doesn’t want to lose her again.

It was now Y’shtola’s turn to blush, not knowing how to respond to the declaration. She hadn't really thought about Ruby like that. That's not to say that she didn't feel something between them, but she's been focused on the mission; to defeat the Asians and bring peace to the realm.

Ruby didn't have the courage to look up the Scion while they processed her confession, she was sure she heard her. She didn't mean to, but the words flowed out of her before she could stop herself.

Her thoughts where distracted by a hand being placed on hers. She looked up to see the other miqo'te's hand on hers and a soft smile on her face. The look in Y'shtola's now silver eyes is filled with nothing but softness. Ruby was held in suspense, she had no idea how the scion would react. Would she reject her? That wouldn't surprise Ruby, they were close but no that close. Right?

However Y'shtola surprised the Warrior of Light, gently squeezing her held hand.

"It warms my heart to know you care for me so." Y'shtola states gently after a content sigh. "And... And it's good to know the feeling is mutual."

Ruby stared at Y'shtola, who still held her gaze with the soft expression. Ruby was speechless, her face growing redder by the moment. Her confession just poured right out of her and here Y'shtola was reciprocating it. Ruby stammered as she tried to respond, getting a chuckle then a wince out of other miqo'te.

"Mayhaps we should continue this at a later time." The scion states, with a pained smile. "I am still recovering after all." She adds, giving the Warrior of Light's hand another gentle squeeze.

Ruby nods with a smile on her blushed face. "Of course. I'll leave you to recover then."

"Indeed. We shall continue this later, My Crystal."

Ruby perks up, her face growing even redder than it was before smiling and leaving the room. Only looking back to catch smile of the Scion. Smiling in return she continues to walk out, going back to helping the resistance push into Ala Mhigo.

She never dreamed this day would come, that her feelings would be returned. Now that they have, Ruby was prepared to take on any challenge in her way, to be by Y'shtola's side.