#for over a decade every day
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#shitposting#literally me#morrowind#riralyne#OK this is USUALLY a sign of me in bad mental health but I'm actually doing better than ever (?)#very long story short I found the cause of the chronic pain I've had for like 13 years#and now I can mitigate it until I get a new doctor#I've had headaches/migraines 24/7 for 13 years plus neck shoulder and back pain#y'all....... it's from my retainer.... it makes my mouth so stuffed I end up clenching on it all night#for over a decade every day#..................#so now I just rotate top and bottom retainers but I still think I gave myself TMJ
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✨ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAYLOR @linoyes ✨
please commission taylor for a gifset to help a palestinian child get medical care!
+ bonus under the cut: soonie chuu~
#thank u for over a decade of friendship <3<3 i wouldnt want to talk about bowel movements every day with anybody else#lino#lee know#lee minho#stray kids#skz#mimotag#*#kpop
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HELLO HANTENGU NATION (5 people)
I'VE MADE AN [unofficial] HEIGHT CHART FOR MYSELF
Hantengu: 5"5 (166cm)
Sekido: 5"9 (175cm)
Karaku: 5"9 (175cm)
Urogi: 5"9 (175cm)
Aizetsu: 5"9 (174cm)
Zohakuten: 5"3 (160cm)
Urami: 8"5 (257cm)
[little aftermath under the cut]
they're so annoying. peace is nonexistent... they're the best ever.
#null rot#cw blood#demon slayer amount of blood??#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#zohakuten#urami#demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#FUCK WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THEM#DO YOU SEE MY VISION?? THEY'RE SO ANNOYING IN MY MIND BUT ARE SO HOT GUY CODED.........#LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP PRETTY BOY#EVEN THE OLD ONE. i KNOW HE'S MAKING THE ELDERLY AND GILF HUNTERS ACT UP#OH MY GOD I NEED TO KEEP DRAWING THEY'RE LIKE SO FAMILY TO ME#BRO DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST EVERYTHING IS GOING TO GET FUCKED OVER IF YOU ADD YOURSELF TO THE PICTURE??????#OH MY GOD JUST. JUST GIVE ME A FEW DAYS OF MY FUCK#also ignore how i posted on my 'cleaner' blog. that was a fuck up. ill be posting everything here#ANYWAY MY REASONING FOR MAKING AIZETSU SHORTER BUT A CENTIMETER IS CAUSE I BELIEVE HES THE HANTENGU THAT WAS STILL GROWING + ZO#ALSO APPARENTLY YOU LOSE AN INCH EVERY DECADE AFTER FOURTY??? SO HANTENGU IS TINY.... AND HUNCHED IN MY MIND#AND URAMI IS GARGANTUAN DID YOU EVEN SEE HIM NEXT TO TANJIRO BRO? HANTENGU IS TALLER THAN THAT KID BY AN INCH IM P SURE HES IM THE 8FT RANG#the three caballeros are his at prime time height cause they look like theyd be in their prime yk??#i used a converter for the cm so if something is fucked. no its not. trust me bro
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#this is a cry for help please i have loved this clown for over a decade#When Bruce says “I can fix him” I completely understand & not bc I want to fix him#but bc despite all the atrocities he has committed you can't help but feel compassion for him#Joker constantly struggles to not let himself be seen vulnerable but when he does oh God it breaks my heart#I wouldn't know what to do if I were aware that I'm being doomed by the narrative & i had no escape even in death#to have a fate as tragic as being forced to become a myth#a monster who abandons all traces of humanity to make sure that someone else never abandons his#A lonely man who lives in a world of the dead and must do as much harm as possible to the only living person before his eyes#After all horror and obsession leads backs to love. oh god imagine loving as much as he does#Love as something twisted as a source of tragedy and death as an addiction a wound that never stops bleeding and hurts more every day#All you want is to be free#But someone else is holding on to you and will never let u go bcz he is afraid of being alone#and without you the weight of the world he carries on his shoulders would kill him he needs u as much as u need him#both are going to drown together#anyways hahaha i luv this stupid clown#joker#the joker#batjokes#bcz i got carried away writing the tags :p
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Do you ever just become overwhelmingly cognizant of the existence of evil in the world?
Like, not as a cute, devil-emoji 😈 i'm-so-naughty-i-steal-chocolate-cake-and-do-weird-sex-acts thing, nor still as a melodramatic, comic-bookish, high-absorptivity-black-fabric, soon-my-death-ray-will-destroy-Metropolis thing, but like.
Actual Evil, as a force that is real and immanent in the world.
Just pointless cruelty inflicted pointlessly by one human being upon another because they've forgotten how to be kind. Just entire systems and machinery of state and ideology brought to bear on the problem of annihilating human lives and maximizing human suffering so that small men can feel powerful. Just humans who have through trauma or conditioning or propaganda shut off their ability to see other humans as fundamentally like them.
Anyways, I joke on here a lot. I get angry on here a lot. They're both just scabs to hide my horror and my despair at the condition of humanity.
Your regularly scheduled programming will return shortly.
#i've watched this entire genocide play out over social media; i've followed the news for decades beforehand#none of it ever really affected me in any way but outrage#but i watched just some of that 'bulldozer' video and it gave me the worst panic attack that i've had in years#like i had no idea that that well of despair was as deep as it turned out to be#what kind of people do that?#what kind of systems make people who do that?#do they go home afterwards? do they drink and laugh with their buddies?#do they look at themselves in the mirror every day for the rest of their lives?#do they ever feel even the smallest *particle* of sorrow? even the smallest quantum of disgust at what they've become?#do they have enough of a soul left to feel even the smallest corpuscle of guilt?
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THE number one most irritating thing about life is deciding when you're meant to speak or make eye contact and when you're not, and for how long and how many phrases you're meant to say at a time
#i know i make this post every week. i know this#but it's just constant!#all my other problems are either solvable or no one has ever solved them in the history of humanity you just have to live with them#but this one is soooo omnipresent and it takes up 80% of my brain space at almost all times#and it's not like i can really condition myself out of it because consciously Not thinking about it is the same as thinking about it!#try to think about my surroundings but people are a part of the surroundings!#how i avoided this level of constant decision making as a child is i just didn't speak to people besides my family unless i had to#i've read people's experiences who were like 'you need to decide when to put on your normal face and how to present yourself'#'being able to choose will give you more autonomy' and like! yeah! guess why i'm able to support myself and live an independent life#that doesn't mean making those choices every second of the day is enjoyable!! or really sustainable over decades and decades!!#rhghghgjhhbhhhhghghhhhghh#hisses like a cat going to the vet
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i love far harbor i love nick and dima the prototype brothers and their relationship and the writing but WHERE the fuck was that energy in the base game with hancock and mcdonough
#talking to an almost decade old wall here but seriously#squandered potential aka the fo4 specialty and i say that as someone with over 100 hours in the damn game#fallout 4#fallout#hancock fo4#every day i think about how in sheep's clothing should've been repurposed into a hancock companion quest or smth#like he should've been involved in it in SOME way
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sorrry ppl who donr follow me for utmv dtuff & sorry canon-strict ppll but nm & killer r soo incredibly important to me can u imagine being the embodiment the literal proof that there is bad and pain in this world or being the loowest of the low & then you have a silly bestfriend who u loveclove love lovr love so mjch & ur so fucked up u dont know where u end & your reluctant life purpose begins but u have a silly bestrfriend who wraps your wounds and youure all he reallyneeds & hes all you really need do you get it. do you get it. do you get it.
#cool posts#delete later maybe#utmv#nightmare sans#killer sans#‘they hate eachither in canon’ I DONT CARE 🔥🔥🔥 ‘they only like being evil’ I DONT CARE 🔥🔥🔥🔥#actually thats not true i do care that they r evil & i do think theyre evil & like being evil#theyvhate eachother sobmuch they love eachother so much they r indifferent to the other theyvwoukd kill eachother for a greater purpose#they have to see eachothers faces every day for decades mimicing some memory of the past they get to see eachothers faces every day with the#warmth accumulated over being obligated tonsokeone for so long hed saw off his arm if he was chained to him hed take a bullet for him & he h#as before and will again and agoan and again#DO YOU GET IT. DO YOU GET IT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND#i have have have to draw this out words arent enough i canr explain clearly enough they r such deep in depth characters to me.#just interpret everything i say as correct#its also 1am. but i canr forget this i have to type it out even if its shittty#what daydreammjng every wakng moment for 6 years about 2 guys does to a mf#i also think this applies no mayter how u interpret their relationship#ok ok ok i’m ok im fine im normal im so normal im done
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does the mad scottish girl know what a mark she made on my heart and also vocabulary
#i still quote this video over a decade later#i finally learned to do a scottish accent from this btw#i used to try to imitate shrek but i think it didn’t work bc he’s also not scottish#you can’t do an impression of someone doing an impression it’s like xeroxing a xerox#anyway mad scottish girl you save me every day
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okay i have to say i am actually a strong defender of Snake That Makes You Evil. it sounds stupid on paper but thats only if u take it at face value? i do actually think the concept is crazy good what with the venom slowly corrupting how garmadon thinks about things and him being fully aware but unable to stop it.
its also not Just the venom that makes him evil. in the spinjitzu brothers books you can actively watch the fsm and wu and… really EVERYONE around garmadon become more and more wary of him despite not much really changing. it becomes a permanent blight on him that he is repeatedly told he needs to cure. but he hasnt really even changed in his own eyes
i personally prefer it to have been a pure fateful accident but the involvement of the overlord in the bite makes it arguably even more tragic. it becomes more than a childish mistake. garmadon was doomed from the moment he was born.
#ninjago#PLEASEEEEE read the soinjitzu brothers books if you can. its such crazy insight into wu and garmadons characters#every day i think abt shezada being like ‘oh youre the eveil one? makes sense’ with literally no explanation#also no offense. but i think ppl forget that his Evil Transformation happened over literlaly like. hundreds of years#its not like he got bit and was immediately evil#ik they show it kinda like that in the first flashback of the bite.m#but he was able to hold off the full effects of the venom until literally like mmmaybe a decade before the pilots#thats hundreds or even thousands of years. all that time of the venom corrupting him and he still fought for love !!!!!!!#ohhh my god also just remembered in the most recent spinjitzu bros book when they paint him as clearly having depression. Whatverrrrr#unrelated. but mann those books r so good#OH MY GOD JUST FOUND OUT THE SERIES GOT CANCELLED. KILLING MYSELF
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legitimately insane how to some people, "we should wipe out this ethnic group that we've violently constrained to a ghetto because they're just genetically more violent and dangerous" is a reasonable and justifiable statement but it's Nazi Rhetoric to say something like, "it's bad that Israeli civilians are being killed but acknowledging that as tragic includes acknowledging that the almost daily state-sanctioned murder of civilians by the Israeli government is also tragic and unacceptable"
btw guys speaking of Nazi shit - can we check in, alongside what's been done to Palestinians in the last 75 years, what's the Israeli government's take on the Azerbaijani government's newest round of ethnic cleansing of Armenians? oh are the Israeli government's actions maybe not determined by Jewish identity, but by a commitment to colonial supremacy which puts them on the same page as other violently genocidal states like Azerbaijan, the US, and the UK? god can you Even Imagine?
(framing speaking against Israeli war crimes as inherently antisemitic requires understanding the Israeli state as representing all Jewish people, when it doesn't even represent all Israelis.
framing Israeli war crimes as synonymous with Jewish identity is pretty fucked up if we're being honest. I don't think that controlling water and power and movement for a captive population and shooting children dead for throwing stones is an inherent value of Judaism, any more than I think the torture carried out at Guantanamo Bay is an inherent value of Christianity - in both cases they're atrocities carried out by a far right genocidal government using religious identity as a shield.
Calling statements like "Israel is committing genocide against the people it's displaced" inherently antisemitic is doing more to further the idea that all Jewish people are associated with Israel than saying "the Israeli government is doing war crimes," which is a statement of fact about a country that exists and does war crimes. Is criticism of Israel as a nation often used as cover for antisemitism? Absolutely. Does that mean the Israeli government isn't doing literal war crimes repeatedly, on record, while talking publicly about scrubbing an ethnic group off the map? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well in the last 48 hours they've definitely cut off water and power to almost 600,000 civilians and allegedly used white phosphorus against civilians so in an extremely factual and unambiguous way yeah man those are Literal War Crimes whoever does them.)
#red said#sorry man saying 'it's bad to do genocide and war crimes' doesn't actually mean 'I'm happy when Jewish people die'#it means 'there is a context to Palestinian militants attacking Israelis which involves Palestinians being killed wounded or imprisoned#very nearly every day by the Israeli state and settlers. so no you can't treat a Palestinian attack on Israel as an unprecedented tragedy#without also recognising that Israeli forces have repeatedly visited attacks of similar magnitude on Palestine which is ALSO tragic#as well as the regular state-sanctioned murder of over 200 Palestinians in the 9 months BEFORE the Palestinian attack on Saturday#It means 'Palestinian lives don't matter less than Israeli lives' not 'Israeli lives don't matter'#this week is literally the FIRST TIME SINCE RECORDS BEGAN that more Israeli lives have been lost than Palestinian#bc for every year since 2000 orders of magnitude more palestinians than Israelis have been killed in this war#you don't get to say 'it's only bad when X ethnic group is killed it's GOOD to kill Y ethnic group' then accuse OTHERS of genocide apologis#it is legitimately a tragedy for Israeli civilians to be killed and wounded en masse. the people are not the nation.#but it's not less of a tragedy for Palestinians to have been killed and wounded en masse week after week for decades.#and when peaceful protest gets you shot and bombed and acting against the military gets you shot and bombed#and just existing doing nothing at all gets you shot and bombed. living near someone accused of terrorism. looking for your fucking cat.#when you're getting shot and bombed daily whatever you do. it's not surprising that sometimes people move to violence against civilians.#because as people from Gaza have said. better to die fighting for survival than die on your knees waiting.#which like. I'm not making a moral judgement one way or the other bc i am intrinsically disgusted by mass killing. as we all should be.#and this might be the movement which liberates Palestine and it might be the excuse which allows Israel to finish Palestine#and either way hundreds of people are dead on both sides and however you slice it that's a fucking tragedy#but we cannot. treat it as if Hamas' strike began the violence. and ignore the 200+ Palestinians killed by the IDF this year beforehand#Palestinian lives matter as much as Israeli lives. 700 Israeli citizens dead is a tragedy. 600 Palestinians dead is a tragedy.#and if you lay out the numbers from this weekend alone you can pretend that Israelis are getting decimated by Palestine.#but to do that you have to ignore the facts that for every 1 Israeli killed in the past decade 3 Palestinians die.#and that Israeli deaths happen in occasional outbursts of violence while Palestinian deaths happen every week#whether or not Hamas or any other Palestinian faction initiates violence
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Patrick Troughton - billed as Pat - helps the stricken French nobility (and flashes the audience) as Sir Andrew Ffoulkes, a staunch ally of the title character in The Adventures of the Scarlet Pimpernel (ITP, 1955 - 1956)
#fave spotting#patrick troughton#the adventures of the scarlet pimpernel#doctor who#classic doctor who#two#itp#itc#1955#I've had a nice rhythm going lately with pairing a 50 min series (usually The Saint these days‚ tho not for much longer...) with a shorter#25 min one to dip into when I've less time or whatever. with The Adventurer over (adieu and farewell Gene Bradley you insane#multi talented everything) i thought I'd change it up a little and go for a much earlier itc series for a different tone. so early in fact#that they weren't even ITC yet; the company was then known as the Incorporated Television Programme Company‚ ITP for short‚ but be not#fooled; this is in every way the Lew Grade led company that would come to dominate the commercial tv world in the decades to follow#The Adventures of Robin Hood is usually identified as the first ITC production but in fact it beat this series to the screen by only#3 days and the two shows were presumably in production simultaneously. Hood went on to be the making of ITC and Lew Grade and lasted#a whopping 143 episodes over 4 years; Pimpernel made it to only 18 despite being planned as a 39 part series (standard length for these#early itc shows). exactly what went wrong i dont know; Goring was heavily involved in production as well as starring and maybe that played#a part‚ or maybe the popular success of Hood meant this show was no longer affordable. idk im just speculating but from#what I've seen it's fairly fun. starting on ITV just a week after the network commenced transmission‚ it's safe to say this didn't capture#the public imagination like Hood did and it does seem to have been rather forgotten about. Pat is actually a series regular and these#pics come from a few different eps among the first few. he isn't in the very first (nor is the Pimpernel's other faithful companion#played by Anthony Newlands) and i do wonder if that was a pilot (it has Robert Shaw as the Pimpernel's right hand and to my#knowledge he doesn't reappear; he'd make up for it with a starring role in one of ITC's next series‚ The Buccaneers#but yes he's here and he's fantastic and gets to be dashing and heroic (tho never moreso than Goring of course). he's also the one of the#three heroes who best suits the powdered hair look (Newlands looks quite unfortunate). and of course i know what im doing with that#last shirtless pic.. you're welcome Pat girlies (gender neutral)#maybe I'll make another post after I've seen a few more eps but i wasn't going to commit to a Pat post for every episode im afraid
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I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!
#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING#IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN#HA#MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF#and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders#that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self#ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief#a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?'#tone “No!” of disbelief#and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it.#that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me#and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.”#was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf#anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally#now i see what the past several months but especially especially#the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January#were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong#...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not#a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side#and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like#i rationally say I trust them to have and do.#and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha#they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y#anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet#trauma evolution#shh katie#personal#my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic.#add to journal#abuse
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minedai is weirdo4weirdo. To me.
#no sane man would've been able to deal with the Tojo Drama Van wrecking his garden every 2 days for over a decade#yakuza#rgg#like a dragon#daigo dojima#yoshitaka mine#minedai
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.
#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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Need low stakes DLC Psychonauts 2 levels in, at this point, anyone’s mind. Fuck shit up and kick ass in the interns brains? Hell yeah. Otto? Sasha round 2? Milla round 2? ANY Aquato? I’d eat it up om nom nom. I’m begging. As a treat for me please.
#psychonauts 2#psychonauts#double fine#and listen. fucking. it gets more and more obvious that Otto has Something going on with every playthrough#first play through I was thinking about literally anything else and I didn’t catch it#but going back and doing all the dialogue and keeping an eye on him?#Otto was sus as HELL#Like fully unresolved I think canonically he’s still up to some shit#he didnt mind wipe a family to stop a genocide a la putting tape over a cracking dam#but he’s still shady#and I think they kinda wrote him as a red herring#which is wild bc I did not give a fuck about Otto my first time through I was trying to connect so many other puzzle pieces#but yeah DLC content would be good but also… Psychonauts three???#it’s be too surface level for it to be just straight plot line Otto is the big bad tho so idk.#psychonauts 1+2 tells such a tight well thought out story that’s been cooking for two decades. I wouldn’t want a third game if it didn’t#lovingly expand the world and characters and story. but damn I got questions.#hence: low stakes dlc please and thank you have a good day 👍
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