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absolutehomosexuals · 1 month ago

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The Infamous "Durge Is a Man" Essay

I - INTRODUCTION

There's one simple question that led us to developing this theory: "would Bhaal want a female heir?"

Bhaal created Durge to be his ideal successor: the hand who would've reaped death in the world, conquering it in His name.

Every detail we get about Durge's lore is tied to this objective, the entire purpose of Bhaal's creation.

The cult is obviously shown to us as patriarchal, which is hinted at from the sole fact they worship a male deity: the argument may come off as silly at first, since one could argue Gods do not understand nor care for the concepts of gender.

It would be a valid counterpoint, if it wasn't for the fact Bhaal used to be a human, having navigated the world as a fully grown man before he eventually became a God.

If we believe he created Durge in his ideal image, it seems much more intuitive for his offspring to be male.

II - THE MATTER OF SUCCESSION

We must note that Bhaal's plans heavily rely (as we can read in Durge's "diary" tab) on reproduction ; e.g "siring lots of Bhaalspawn".

This alone isn't coded as one sex or the other but, if we think of it in terms of convenience, a female heir wouldn't be your first choice for the task: women can only gestate one child per year and conceive in very specific windows of time within their cycle, while men can potentially impregnate countless women in the same time span and not suffer any physical disadvantages during gestation.

We should also consider women tend to develop a bond with their newborn and the latter needs to rely on them for survival during the first few months of their life, while a man:

1. has no such obligations from a social point view (especially in a medieval context, where bastard children were the norm)

2. isn't strictly needed by the child for survival, biologically speaking.

I doubt Bhaal was expecting his heir to keep track of her cycle, gestate for nine months with all the drawbacks that come with it, give birth risking death and spend the following months caring for a newborn – all of this, on repeat for years if not centuries.

"But he's a God, he could potentially speed up the process!"

Technically true, but why would he go through such trouble, if he could craft his ideal child as a male and avoid complications?

The game itself seems to agree with this theory, since you get the "Bhaal's stallion" line regardless of your Durge's gender, in one of the bad endings.

We could also consider the idea that reproduction = power, "spreeding the seed", to be a typically patriarchal concept.

Bhaal himself isn't fond of the idea of raising children, as he let Durge be raised by an adoptive family – a "regular" one no less, meaning he didn't even concern himself with choosing one.

III - IN-UNIVERSE MYSOGINY

There are many aspects of the religion that seem to glorify manhood, and for its leader to be a woman (by Bhaal's choice, no less) seems inconsistent.

Let's think of the infamous blessing granted to Bhaal's favourites, the Ecstasy of Murder, which basically consists in a pseudo prostatic orgasm.

Then we consider the presence of predominantly-male sexual crimes, both coming from Durge and other important figures within the cult.

We cannot deny necrophilia, for functional reasons, is extremely uncommon amongst women: necrophilic acts are typically carried out by penetrating a dead body, as it's almost the only pleasurable act you can perform on a corpse ; Durge being a known necrophiliac pre-lobotomy could be one of the many hints the character is meant to be read as male.

Not to mention the horrendous way in which Bhaalist female characters are treated in-universe, between Sarevok sexually abusing his daughter (and this concept being treated as completely normal by the narrative, as far as we know of) and Orin being constantly belittled.

We never hear of any male cultists undergoing the same treatment, meaning abusing women is the norm amongst Bhaal's faithful – yet again, a telltale sign of a patriarchal religion.

"But Orin isn't mistreated because of her sex, she's mistreated because she's not the true heir!"

Orin is, indeed, not Bhaal's biological daughter: she's related to Him by blood, but as Durge himself says, her blood is "diluted".

However, while he acknowledges she's not his biological sister, he still addresses her as such in multiple sources, meaning the cult leader himself doesn't care about her actual origins.

She's constantly portrayed as someone who gets talked down to, cast aside and her beliefs are harshly criticized both by Durge and others influential members such as Sarevok.

For Larian to choose a woman to fill this role could have been accidental, but we must admit the symbolism is quite clear.

Orin interprets murder as a form of art, while her Bhaalist peers frequently accuse of her misunderstanding her own faith, considering her too immature to lead the flock.

She's the only Bhaalist female character we're shown as remarkable, and she's coincidentally used as an example of someone the cult does not respect ; she's even biologically related to Bhaal and yet, she had to seize power by force.

IV - ROMANTIC SUBTEXTS

Another interesting matter are the characters commonly paired with Durge in fanworks: Durgetash and Durgestarion are the most popular romantic pairings according to ao3, and we cannot blame the fandom for catching up on the subtext.

Durge's "admiration" (as he calls it himself) towards Gortash is viewed as controversial and arises suspicion in-universe, to the point he feels the need to apologize to his Father and repent for an implicit sin.

While it would be scandalous to fraternize with Gortash even in a platonic matter – he's practically the leader of the rival cult –, the emphasis put on justifying their interactions has been interpreted by fans as romantic subtext.

The letter in which Durge addresses the issue is titled "Letter for Forgiveness", despite Gortash only being mentioned at the beginning, while the rest of the letter focuses on different topics entirely.

Right after expressing guilt for the way he views Gortash, Durge proceeds to repeat Bhaal's plan and promises to follow it, stressing that he would have made his Father proud regardless.

The letter overall comes off as an attempt to justify being attracted to Gortash and reassuring Bhaal that it wouldn't come in the way of their plans, as it would pose an enormous threat otherwise.

Durge being attracted to Gortash – if we choose to interpret him as a man – would come with a handful of important challenges: first of all, sympathizing with the 'enemy', implying Durge could abandon the idea of betraying him or even allow Gortash to do the same to him.

Second of all, being capable of such vulnerability that would come in the way of being a sentient weapon: a killing machine isn't supposed to feel pity, let alone experience something as foolish as forbidden love.

And thirdly, for Bhaal's heir to prefer the company of men is simply a disgrace, as it would come in the way of reproduction and possibly undermine his public image.

While all of this may have not been meant as a homosexual allegory, the fact you can find the Letter for Forgiveness on Durge's corpse if you play as Tav, still comes off as "bringing a secret to the grave".

Not to mention the note at the end of the letter, written by another cultist, reading: "Ha! Orin was right about her sibling." which is clearly a jab at what we mentioned above.

When you go to confront Orin in Act III (as Durge) about the fact she has been following you around town, she replies: "The little lordling has been whispering in your ears? He always knew how to tumble and twist your mind matter, leaving you knotted in his chords."

The matter of Durge's attraction to Gortash is seen as something silly and shameful at the same time: it's an open secret cult members dare to joke about, because they find it ridiculous.

If a hypothetical female heir of Bhaal had the slightest possibility of reproducing with the Chosen of Bane, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't find it as humorous – they find it hilarious because it's taboo, a powerful demigod developing a "school crush" on a male ally.

We should also talk about some of the in-game implications about Gortash, such as being someone who possibly "slept his way to the top": managing to charm and daze a much more powerful man on purpose sounds surprisingly in-character.

What we find even more interesting are the implications that come with Durgestarion, a pairing the writers are openly fond of.

We know both characters were characterized by the same writer, the latter going out of his way to include personalized romance interactions between the two: unlike other characters, romancing Astarion as Durge gives the player access to tons of new dialogue lines and greetings, sometimes making for a completely new experience compared to romancing him with a regular Tav.

Some hints may point to Durge being the "canonical" romance for Astarion, as many fans have speculated ; while one may disagree with that sentiment, we must admit it's not far fetched.

If we consider all of Astarion's canonical past relationships (meaning, the few ones he actually deems important and genuine) were with men, and the emphasis put on Durge's "admiration" towards Gortash + the incessant pressure Bhaal puts on him to reproduce, the thought of these characters romancing each other in an alternative timeline actually sounds liberating.

Some Durge-specific lines Astarion says during his romance arc seem to be aimed at a male character, rather than sounding gender neutral: the first example that comes to mind is "Are you alright now, or is today a 'I will wed you with a delicate veil of blood blooming over your white curls' kind of day?"

Astarion sarcastically references Durge "wedding him", thus putting the player in a stereotipical "groom" role from the start, with the veil resembling the one brides typically wear during the cerimony.

If we consider all other aspects mentioned in this theory, the line reads as somewhat... male-coded.

If we want to be truly insane about this theory – and of course, we do – , we could even add a "gay allegory" element to the equation.

A vampire and the spawn of an evil deity, excluded members of society who'd usually feel a compulsion to hide, are implied to fall in love by the narrative.

V - ACTING CHOICES

Finally, we come to the voice actor: while a specific actor was chosen to play the character and is regarded as the iconic Durge VA, Larian didn't concern themselves with choosing a female voice actor to include the possibility of a female Durge, which is why we can only hear his intro in Neil Roberts' voice.

VI - CONCLUSION

With all of this taken into account, a female Durge seems to be an after-thought, if not directly a fantasy or a headcanon that the game gives you the possibility to play out.

The original narrative, as we can see, best accomodates a male character.

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dumbbitch-academy · 3 months ago

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A Night of Blood and Wine

Astarion x f!reader

WC: 3.4k

Like always: 18+ MDNI

Summary: Its a party tonight at the Elfsong with the entire party! Reader and Astarion head upstairs where Astarion gets drunk, but in his own vampire way *wink wink*

Contains: Blood drinking, alcohol use, sex mentioned, but nothing happens, FLUFF like so much fluff omg, also Shadow'zel is alive and well

A/N: I wrote this story and it took me while but here it is. There is party banter so sorry if there is some OOC moments, I am not used to writing the rest of the companions. Enjoy! This is proof-read as much as my tired brain can handle right now, also I might change the title later.

AO3

Masterlist

The excitement grew all day inside of you. It had been so long since there was time to just be with each other. All of your companions having a party to celebrate nothing in particular, to still being alive, which was all reason enough and more. Your party had rented out the entire upper floor of the Elfsong, which currently buzzed with the excitement of everyone getting ready in their best clothes. You and all the other girls had gotten together in one room, giddily getting dressed. Lae’zel had been choosing which of her camp clothes fit the evening’s festivities the best, which Shadowheart helped her with, excited to see her in something more fun and less formal than her usual Githyanki armor.

You giggled at the two, once their blatant disgust and animosity was channeled into something more productive, a beautiful friendship had begun to blossom between the two of them. From that point, an even more beautiful relationship was found out one day as a few others in the party, including yourself, caught them sneaking a kiss when they thought no one was around to see them “Too cute” you thought to yourself as you currently were sitting in front of the mirror, reapplying your eyeliner. The dress you had chosen was fitting for a party, it was a beautiful shade of pink, it paired beautifully with your tanned skin and black raven hair. The corset laced up accented your curves, the skirt a comfortable length. Karlach had opted for her usual leathers, as she knew she was going to ruin anything else besides her usual clothes with the amount of fun and liquid courage she planned on partaking in this evening.

“You almost ready, soldier? We should have been there about 10 minutes ago!”Karlach came up behind you, staring at you in the mirror, a large grin had cracked her face into a wonderful smile. “Yes, Karlach. I’m done just now. Just want to look perfect tonight. I can’t remember how long it has been since we let loose a little,” you look at her through the mirror, “and how about you two? Are you finally ready?” You eyed Shadowheart and Lae’zel who finally came out of their corner, smiles in their eyes. “Yes, lead the way, let us head down and conquer this night,” Lae’zel said as she smoothed out her outfit one last time.

The descent down the stairs gave way to nerves forming in your belly, excited for what the night might bring. Once you pushed your way through the doors, you immediately were greeted by a cheer from Wyll and Gale, Astarion still yet to be seen. “Finally, the ladies decide to grace us with their ever alluring presence,” Wyll spoke through a small happy laugh, you could tell he had already had a pint. “Good evening, ladies, follow us to your table this evening,” Gale motioned, obviously having begun drinking already as well. You all gathered around the table the men had picked out, large enough for everyone, and more towards the back. You still looked around, trying not to be overt about trying to find Astarion, but still curious where your boyfriend was, though you knew hanging out with a drunk Wyll and especially Gale was not a highlight on his list of fun things to partake in, sober at least. It was at this point you felt a cold hand land on your bare shoulder, where your dress straps did not cover. A shiver from both excitement and unexpected cold ran through you, and turned around to find Astarion. “There you are, my love. I was wondering when you all would show up. I was starting to think you were all having fun up there without us,” his usual smirk across his face. You shook your head, giggling and smiling, “What can I say, fashionably late and all that.” Astarion laughed, and handed you a glass of your favorite wine. He moved to kiss you, which you moved your face up to allow him better access to your lips. You could taste the wine on his lips as well, so he had started drinking as well. Not that it would get him drunk, but that would come soon enough. “You truly are stunning, my dear. What a beautiful dress,” Astarion warmly complimented you, looking at you up and down. “I could say the same to you, too, Star.” He was so very handsome tonight, not that he wasn’t every night, but tonight, there was just something about him. A lovely flowy shirt accompanied with leather pants that hugged his figure, smokey eyeliner to match yours adorned his crimson eyes.

“I would like to propose a toast, to…” Gale had started, interrupting your flirtation but he quickly lost track of where ever that train was headed. “A toast to great libations, and even greater friends to share them with!” Wyll graciously swooped in and saved Gale, much to his inebriated thanks. Everyone toasted their goblets into the air, and took a swig.

You looked around, just in awe that everyone who meant so much to you was with you at this moment, your very own family. Something that you had back home, but they never really truly understood you. You loved them, yes, still sequestered in that small little village, but this was something entirely different. This was a family of your own creation, of everyone who meant the world to you in their own special way, but especially Astarion. He was something that you never really planned on happening, not that you were complaining about the surprise. You looked upon the man next to you, laughing with Karlach, sipping his wine, and you felt just the most adoration for him in your heart. You could tell he could tell your heart beat was drumming hard as he looked over to you, a genuine smile in his eye, ears turning downward ever so slightly, something you noticed would happen when you became even closer. He bent down and kissed your blushed cheek.

As the night went on, the drinks flowed. You were becoming pretty silly in your drunken state, and it was to everyone’s entertainment. “You know, I always kinda wanted something to happen between you two!” You looked over and giggled over at Shadowheart and Lae’zel, who were sitting oh-so-comfortably with each other, Lae’zel’s arm over Shadowheart’s shoulder. The pair both rolled their eyes at you, “Well, once she started to stop being such an ass, there really was a strangely endearing charm to her,” Shadowheart spoke turning her heart to the woman in question, brows knitted starting down at her goblet as she took a deep drink, not used to her love life being so proudly on display. “I was never an ass, just persistent in my objectives for the party being correct,” Lae’zel corrected her precious rosy partner, and Shadowheart raised an eyebrow in return. “Sure, whatever lets you sleep at night ‘Zel,” Shadowheart scoffed before she leaned in to kiss Lae’zel’s cheek.

You turned your attention to Wyll and Gale, who were both deep in conversation about… something that probably would not make any sense to anyone outside of their little conversation. You tried to listen in on their discussion, but could not follow one piece of it, and you weren’t sure the two did either, much to your confused enjoyment. “I have no idea what they are fucking talking about either,” you heard Astarion say as he noticed your puzzled face once he turned from his conversation with Karlach. “Okay good, because I know I have had a lot tonight but I thought I was far more gone than I originally thought for a second there,” you nodded your head, grateful for the second opinion to confirm you weren't just going crazy. You turned your attention to Astarion who had been looking down at you, one eyebrow cocked up as he studied you, gauging how drunk you were, and when he saw that look of mischief and relaxation in your eyes, he snorted out a laugh. Before you could stop yourself, you immediately became needy for him. Not in a sexual way, but just to be close to him as you rested your head on his shoulder, “Starrrr…. Star, you should bite me and then we can be drunk together! It’s the perfect plan!” Astarion stopped mid drink from his goblet and his eyes widened. He laughed and scooped you closer to him, “Darling, are you sure?” You looked over to Karlach who had her hand over her mouth, trying so hard not to burst into laughter and flames. “Yes! I wanted this to happen all day, I know you can’t really get drunk, and so I thought, what better way to get him drunk, than with my very own drunk blood?" You moved to sit up straighter and moved your hair out of the way of your neck. Somehow, for the first time, you managed to make Astarion slightly embarrassed. Who knew that it just took a lot of liquid courage and offering up your neck in front of the entire party to get him to become bashful. “Darling, let's go somewhere more private, I might decide to take my time with you,” Astarion quickly regained his composure, much to Gale and Wyll’s annoyance made evident by their groans. You nodded, a large, wet eye smile shown across your face. Astarion’s heart swelled, you were always so cute when you were relaxed like this. “Take your time guys, don’t let us keep you away from each other,” Karlach called out with a hardy laugh as the two of you made your exit.

Astarion took you by the hand, and you followed suit feeling as if you were floating. As you walked through the crowd of people, you felt Astarion’s thumb rub your hand where it sat, causing you to smile and hum up at him. His eyes caught you out of the corner of his eyes and he smiled down at you again, his ear on the side of his head swiveling down slightly again.

As you made your way to the shared bedroom that the two of you had been using, you decided all of a sudden you were way too hot after walking through the sea of people and climbing up the stairs. “Help me out of this dress?” You turned your back to Astarion, hair flipped to one shoulder. “My dear, cannot wait for me any longer? Are you that needy for me?,” Astarion feigned in pretend disbelief. His deft fingers worked to get the laces of the corset loosened. “Well I got too hot and now I want to be in my lounge wear. I mean we can if you wanted to, but right now I think I just want to have nothing on me and let you drink from me, clothes feel wrong right now,” you said, trying to explain the drunk logic swimming in your brain. “Sure darling, I can help you with that, my sweet, silly girl,” Astarion said behind you, your dress finally falling to the ground. You stepped out of the dress and took off your shoes, and looked up at him and giggled until you remembered you left your goblet downstairs at the table. Astarion noticed the look on your face and asked, “you forgot your drink didn’t you?” You nodded, but quickly forgot that issue when your eyes spotted the bed, and took his hand and you walked over to lay down. You climbed into bed, relishing the cold fabric from being empty for so long cradling your skin. With a sigh of comfort, you looked up at Astarion, who was softly smiling down at you with adoration. “You know, the eyeliner makes you look sooo good, Starri,” you giggled as you reached up for him. “I had a feeling you would appreciate it,” Astarion took your hand and moved into the bed with you, your naked body pressing against his still clothed form. You hummed in comfort as he bent down his neck to nuzzle yours asking, “Are you still okay with me biting you, love?” You nodded lazily, the alcohol swimming in your blood and brain making you lethargic, “Yeah.”

Astarion hummed and whispered a thank you as he kissed your earlobe, making his way down to the junction between shoulder and neck with open mouthed kisses. He trailed back up to his favorite spot, gave it a peck, and slid his fangs into your delicate flesh there. The alcohol swimming in your brain made you confident as you moved your hands to caress him behind his head with one hand and the other on his butt. You giggled as you heard his breath hitch when he felt your hand fall to his ass, you rubbed the back of his head in soothing slow movements. “You are so sweet to me, my little Star, so beautiful, so loving, how did I get so lucky?,” you gushed in soothing whispers, eyes fluttering closed as you fully relaxed into the elf. Ears tickled your cheek as his ears twitched in elation from your words, and you giggled, “Gods, your ears are so cute.” Astarion’s ears twitched even more from your ongoing barrage of affection towards him and you felt him giggle into your neck, “I love you.” You hummed and smiled even though you knew he couldn’t see it, but you knew he could hear it when you responded back, “I love you too, Astarion.”

He slowly swallowed his last mouthful and came up from your neck, his pupils dilating as the alcohol from your blood hit him. His face wore a dopey smile as he rose, but his eyes caught a bead of blood falling from the bite, and bent down to lick it up and finally lick the wound. His movements became less dexterous as the alcohol swam in his body and he nearly fell over trying to get back up from licking the wound. “Easy there, Star,” You move to sit up and help him to move to his back, face blissed out as he giggled to himself. You still felt deliciously drunk and now with your boyfriend reaching that same point of inebriation you were ready to head back to the party. You gave him a kiss on his now pink cheek and caressed his head soothingly, “I am going to get dressed and we can head back down.” His eyes locked onto yours and he nodded, “Whatever you say darling, you gorgeous beautiful woman.” You deeply blushed, he always would get super flirty once he was drunk.

You slipped on some comfortable lounge pants and his white shirt that you could borrow more often than not, not that he was complaining. Seeing you in his shirt always made his heart soar. You went to see in the mirror what your makeup was looking like, slightly smudged and a bit runny, so you opted to clean your face so that you wouldn’t look like a racoon more as the night went on. You walked over to the bed and found Astarion humming a song to himself as he watched you move about the room. You offered your hand and he grabbed it, using the leverage to bring his body up, stumbling just a touch as he got back onto his feet. “Oh darling love, that shirt on you, it's so…” he thought for a moment the words he had swirling in his brain, “so nice.” His flirtation fell short and you snorted a laugh, “Okay, come on lover boy, let's not let them keep waiting all night. Plus, I want more wine.”

You took your boyfriend back down the stairs, this time leading him. His feeding had sobered you up just a touch, but there was more wine to remedy that. As you waded through the crowd once again, you finally saw the rest of your table, who once they saw the both of you, raised up their goblets and cheered as the two of you came to sit back down with them. You found your wine goblet and began to sip on it again as Astarion sat beside you and clung to your shoulders, head dipped down to rest it on you. Always the cuddler when he was like this. Karlach was far more gone now at this point as well, and congratulated the two of you on returning back safely, “I was wondering when the two of you were going to be done”-she eyed your changed of clothes and lack of make-up- “have a little fun up there ,eh?” Your cheeks flushed, but before you could answer, you felt Astarion move to speak first, “Darling, everything we do is fun, you’d have to be a bit more specific if you were to ever want to hear about our thrilling and mind-blowing sex life.” You immediately choked on the wine in your throat you had been swallowing, “Astarion” you finally managed to gasp, and you immediately began to laugh with Karlach who was both surprised and delighted by Astarion’s comeback. He laughed his high pitched giggle, “She’s so adorable when she gets shy, my darling love,” he slurred out his words as he moved to kiss you cheek.

The rest of the night was spent enjoying everyone’s company, retelling stories of your most recent adventures together, and loving being with this new found family of yours. You did not know how you ever got so lucky to call these people your little family. As the night died down, you all retreated back to your rented rooms upstairs, saying goodnight to each other. You waved good night to Shadowheart and Lae’zel returning to their shared room as you and Astarion entered yours. Both of you were much more sober now, as the night had ended with you drinking water and eating a good plate of food to put something on your belly.

You both helped each other get out of the clothes that had been somewhat plastered on your bodies from the heat of the busy tavern. You moved to help Astarion cleanse the eyeliner, his eyes closed as you ran the soft cloth along his eyes, removing the makeup. “Look up?” You asked as you went to get the liner from his lower lash line, “Did you have fun tonight?” He subtly nodded, not wanting to risk a poke to the eye, “I actually had a really great time tonight, thank you for asking. What about yours?” His crimson eyes pointed towards the ceiling still. You finished cleaning his face and gave him a kiss between his brows to his delighted surprise, “I had a wonderful night, thank you Star.”

You both decided to climb into bed still naked, and held each other. You rested your head on his arm, he stared up at the ceiling which was dimly lit by a single candle on the bedside table. His cold body was a great relief from the heat your body had been enduring the past couple hours after his feeding. “Do you need to feed again? I don’t think you got very much earlier,” you asked looking up at Astarion, who moved his head to make eye contact with you. He thought about it for a minute and then answered with a tender voice, “No thank you darling, I’m okay, perhaps tomorrow night, but I’m enjoying just this.” You nodded and kissed his arm where your head lay, “Of course, Star,” you held back for a moment until you spoke again, “Astarion?” He looked down at you again, “Darling?” The look on his face held love and utter peace just to be with you. You had so much to say, to thank him for choosing you, for being there for you when you needed him, to let him know he could always depend on you, that you were irrevocably his, but the only thing that was able to slip from your lips was something that you hoped would convey all of those thoughts and feelings into them, but you knew you would spend everyday showing as well. You looked up at him, nuzzled your head into his arm again, and with a yawn, “I love you, so much.” He sleepily smiled and moved his head to kiss the crown of yours, “I know, I love you too, my little sweetheart.”

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