#autistic sole survivor

[hpysprkl]

"Here I was wanting to spend the day reading Proust, and then you had to go and ruin it!"

Death Bunnies forever ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Ko-fi || Commission info

[omkdear]

After my last ambitious af painting, I decided lets do it again! Well, my iPad crapped out, lost all my brush settings and lost steam. But we learned a lot! Julie 'Jules' Doherty (Bullseye) is on the left and belongs to @happyhappysparkle, and on the right is her beau, Paul 'Paulie' Domenico Romano on a date Pre-War. Please do not repost without my explicit permission!

[hydrainfodumps]

Okay since the Fallout show has an episode out, I'm gonna talk about one of my favorite Fallout theories, it's one about 4. so, at the start of fallout 4, the bombs drop and you get frozen, and you wake up 200ish years later... or maybe that's what you only think! see, theres alot of evidence pointing to the PC of FO4 being a synth.

Point 1: when you first get a gun, you're prompted to use vats, this is before you get a pip boy, so why can you do this? in the institute, there's a terminal describing some experiments with synth targeting, involving the visualization of targeted spots and numbers representing the likelihood of a hit, along with a slowdown of time, sounds like vats, right?

Point 2: in the dlc far harbor, you are asked by the prototype synth DiMa if you yourself are a synth, and you can answer yes or no, no speech checks, no lie indicator, if you answer yes, its treated the same as any other honest answer, the PC says they've considered it, and DiMa asks whats they earliest memory they have, wouldn't you know it, the earliest memory happens to be the intro of the game.

Point 3: the PC is abnormally strong, Being able to take on coursers, literal terminators that have wiped out entire settlements with ease, but the PC does it without Issue, on multiple occasions no less.

There's alot more to it, this is a general summation of the evidence, what do yall think?

[wiickian]

Low effort doodle, finally figured out how to draw danse lol

[fr33sh00tr]

that "are we friends in every universe" thing from tiktok but with all the complicated forms my platonic love manifests for people that i dont have a name for

[anonymousgayrobot]

A not fact checked FIXATION RANT:: FALLOUT 4

GOD does anybody else feel like fallout 4’s self insert mc was a wasted opportunity?? LIKE WHY DO WE GET TO PLAY A LITERAL VETERAN FROM THE ANNEXATION OF CANADA, THE THING YOU ONLY GET TO HEAR ABOUT IN PAST GAMES

AND ITS NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN

like why give the self insert character lore if you’re never going to mention it again or feel any repercussions or sentiments from the past? the sole survivor never mourns, is never the one opening up to other characters (which makes the romances appear very one-sided)— like can’t we get any flashbacks?? anything??? in this weird mixture of having a self insert and a protagonist, you wind up with this very bland character that breaks any kind of immersion. and why make a self insert character if there’s always going to be a set background? that defeats the purpose.

really bad examples for context? comparison?? ((AND I KNOW ITS KINDA FUCKED COMPARING A 2015 GAME TO SHIT THAT CAME OUT IN THE 20’S, BUT IT SHOULD BE BASIC KNOWLEDGE KNOW-HOW ON HOW TO DEVELOP AN IMMERSIVE SELF INSERTED PROTAGONIST EVEN WITH TECHNOLOGICAL SETBACKS??))

anyways, so in Cyberpunk2077, you are given past options THAT AFFECT LATER DETAILS OF THE GAME; do they alter the PATH that the game goes? no, but it creates a sense of immersion because you are now a person with past experience and knowledge with a uniquely spoken narrative and perspective.

in BG3, particularly the Durge route I found to be the most immersive, you begin with amnesia and the nautliod with the other protagonists. right there’s a reasonable excuse for not having a concrete lore, and it haunts you throughout the game with sparse hints until the big reveal of your history— which isn’t even explicitly + visually shown, but it’s spoken through other characters and makes it feel more like a solid, 3 dimensional character outside of being a self insert mc.

And to make Nora ‘just a lawyer’ just seems so unfair lorewise because her husband IS A WARCRIMINAL. godddd, but even still bethesda could’ve compensated for that with flashbacks from her civilian perspective, perhaps with dealing with Nate while raising Shawn, that stress, discovering his crimes, whatever. Same goes for Nate. FUCK YOU BETHESDA. oh my goddhf.

‘oh yeah i served :T’

SERVED FUCKING WHAT? SERVED CUNT?SAY FUCKINN CANADA YOU SUBURBAN LOSER. BUT THATS ALL WE FUCKING GOTTT AND ALL WE’RE EVER GETTING AAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH

one detail however I really like, is one of Sole’s sarcastic comments in the Nuka World dlc. They reminisce ABOUT GOD FUCKIGN GINGER..,:; TO PUT IN TEA. but continuing this, they mention adding a lot of brandy. who the fuck does that. WHO FUCKING ENJOYS SPICED HOT TODDYS??? (name of the drink described by sole;; psa: it nasty((to me.) and the ginger tea is typically to aid in sickness, colds, ‘soothing’. Stressed out lawyer and mother, PTSD-riddled veteran and father, makes sense, adds up. but the addition of ‘a lot of brandy’ can add more personality to such an otherwise one dimensional character. but they don’t describe enjoying a spiced hot toddy in particular,, they merely describe adding brandy to their otherwise normal-recipe-d tea. That’s it. Soothing aid with the addition of ‘a lot’ of alcohol; what does that say about a character? a better and more used example, is when a character is shown pouring alcohol into their coffee, often to demonstrate how stressed they are and how they are forced to cope, using alcohol. THIS IS THE ONLYY GLIMPSE OF INSIGHT WE GET ON THE SOLE SURVIVOR. FUCK. LIKE SURE THE SURVIVOR HAS THEIR ANGRY MOMENTS WHEN THE GAME FIRST BEGINS IN THE CRYO CHAMBER,, ADDRESSING KELLOGG, SOME MOMENTS WITH THE FATHER— BUT ITS ALL ANGER. ANGER WITH NO OTHERWISE MEANS OF EXPRESSION THAT POP UP AND ARE EASILY MISSABLE. THERE’S NO IDLE COMMENTS THAT CAN RESPOND TO COMPANIONS, NO SENSE OF CHARACTER COMPLEXITY, CAMARADERIE WITH TRAVELING COMPANIONS OR INTENTIONALLY-WRITTEN INTERNAL DILEMMA.

AND THIS IS ALL WE WILL EVER FUCKIN GET. FUCK

i know this uh ‘turmoil’ is kinda my own fault for falling in love with analyzing classic literature books starting in highschool which it then set my standard for writing, and now everything is Not Fun anymore. IT FUCKING SUCKS BRO😭😭 BUT AT WHAT COSTTTTTT WHAT COSSSSTTTTTTTTTTT

[somethingaboutmint]

i was curious if živa gets along with X6, i love him bc were both autistic but i wish they gave us a way to change his mind abt the institute.

She does!!! (Kind of.) Živa did not take the whole institute thing well but she did take a liking to X6 cuz he was so polite to her (he has to be but thats besides the point). She has a very "i can fix him" attitude where she thinks that just by showing him how nice life outside the institute is she can convince him to ditch his whole life there and become free. X6 thinks shes a bit weird and does not like the commonwealth very much at all but they have a good enough relationship that when živa does blow up the institute X6 does not go into a murderous rage (tho they probably don't really talk to each other anymore). This also gives me an excuse to post some of my fav art i did for fo4 in general with them hanging out

[dopehorsesposts]

tfw u & ur bf are both autistic and u have no idea how to comfort ppl

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

vetted fundraisers from today. please please continue to take the time to support campaigns like these, whether financially or through amplification. these families are placing their hopes in our care.

july 16th:

Doctor Mohammed Aldeeb and his family of four (€25,170/€30,000) - @moahmmedaldeeb, verified by @/el-shab-hussein

The Ayyad family of eight, four of whom are children ($25,102/$35,000) - @mayadayyad81, @aymanayyad82, @aymanayyad1, verified by @/nabulsi

Hanaa Jad Al-Haq, her husband Muhammad Hammad, and their little son Yousef (£2,720/£20,000) - @heno-mo, @yousef0hammad, verified by @/90-ghost

Helping autistic child Omar Jad Al-Haq recover and evacuating the rest of his family, one of whom is paralyzed from a stroke and needs treatment (kr21,145 SEK/kr200,000 SEK) - @omarasaadb, verified by @/90-ghost

Eman Salem, her husband, their four children, her widowed father-in-law, and her sick father (needs urgent surgery for gangrene in his foot) (€965/€27,000) - @emanfamily, @emansalem, verified by @/90-ghost

The Al-Habil family of of six, including three members who need urgent medical treatment ($6,208 CAD/$70,000 CAD) - @nohaibrahim-2024, @alhabeilfamily, @abeeribrahim2006, #240 on @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein's spreadsheet

Hamsa Mohammad's family of five, including a newborn, a three-year-old, and her elderly grandmother, who needs urgent treatment for a broken pelvis and hand as well as heart disease (€5,854/€30,000) - @hmsamoh, @hamsamohammad, verified by @/nabulsi

17-year-old Muhammad Atallah (needs vital treatment after being shot with an explosive bullet), and his family of ten, including a toddler and a newborn (€2,697/€82,000) - @mohammed-atallah, verified by @/90-ghost

Mohammed Al Manasra (sole survivor of his family), his wife, their three little children, and their cat (Mohammed and his wife both need medical attention; Mohammed's foot is injured and will be amputated if not treated as soon as possible) (€28,827/€40,000) - @save-mohamed-family, #192 on @/el-shab-hussein and @/nabulsi's spreadsheet

The AlBalawi family of 11, including several children and two chronically ill members (€24,756/€50,000) - @fatmasalahfamily, @bisanalbalawi18, @elbalawi, @yasminalbalawiigaza, verified by @/90-ghost

Ahmed Al-Nabih, his two brothers, and their mother (€11,301/€30,000) - @ahmedalnabeeh11, #218 on @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein's spreadsheet

Medical student Malak Dader, her five siblings (her teenage brother Moataz was killed), and their parents (two family members are sick with hepatitis) (€738/€25,000) - @malakabed, verified by @/90-ghost

Salam, her husband Mohammad, and their two little children (€17,643/€40,000) - @save-salam-family, verified by @/90-ghost

Munna Tashmali and her five children (this is the third time their home has been destroyed) (£3,774/£30,000) - @monashamali, verified by @/nabulsi

Muhammad Al-Habil, his wife, their three young children, and Muhammad's chronically ill parents (€11,286/€50,000) - @aya2mohammed, @alhabil, verified by @/nabulsi

Ahmed Alanqar, his wife Dina, and their four children, one a newborn (€29,184/€35,000) - @ahmedabuyamin, #174 on @/el-shab-hussein and @/nabulsi's spreadsheet

Evacuating Firas Muhaisen's family of six (including three children) and funding he and his sister's medical education (time-sensitive fees, needed by August 1st) ($3,130 CAD/$82,000 CAD) - @firasmuhaisenn, @nisreenameen, @hashem-fromgaza, verified by @/90-ghost

Amal Ashour, her husband, and their little daughter Maryam (€12,769/€30,000) - @amalashuor, @moatasim20101010, #175 on @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein's spreadsheet

not yet vetted:

Mohammed Ayyad, his wife, and their five children (€11,323/€35,000) - @mohammad1980ayyad, @m430235341

your contribution, no matter how small, can help save someone's life. please don't pass up the chance to take such an immeasurably valuable action

[cuntyglam]

alien romulus, andy, racism, and why robots are autistic

this is an introspective into how the alien series treats artificial humans, also known as synthetics, and how sci-fi portrays androids in general. alien romulus spoilers under cut. written by a native autistic and disabled fan <3

andy from alien romulus is an artificial human that is constantly being seen as less because of his race (artificial human) and who often portrays autistic characteristics. these characteristics include an aversion to loud sounds, difficulty reading social cues, and a special interest in dad jokes.

his behavior is explained by him being a “damaged” artificial human, which is somewhat disappointing. it’s disappointing that these traits that so many of us autistic people have are considered flaws in the context of the movie.

his sister, who is human, takes him for granted and chooses her life over his, even though he shows emotions and was apart of her family. even though it isn’t outright stated, this kind of reminds me how sometimes we as autistic people are seen as a burden on our families, despite us being able to care for ourselves.

once andy gets rook’s chip inserted he becomes “better”. “better” motor skills, “better” intelligence, and “better” everything. but yet, he still portrays autistic characteristics. he doesn’t go from autistic to not autistic, he just starts displaying different autistic traits. he is very knowledgeable about tech, aliens, and the human body, while being very objective about what the right thing to do is. instead of being a very empathetic person, he is a very practical and calculating person, which i think is super interesting.

honestly, i think it would have been really interesting to see him be the sole survivor. to have him get his revenge on the sister that betrayed him and the world who bullied him for his raise and ability.

okay now to androids, synthetics, and robots as a whole. robots are seen as cold and emotionless, similarly to how autistic people are seen, so many ai and robot characters are autistic coded. robots don’t have compassion or empathy in the eyes of the general public, same as autistic people. many autistic people have reclaimed robot characters to represent us, and i think that’s fantastic !!

i specifically love artificial humans in the alien franchise because they showcase so much depth and empathy, while still displaying autistic traits. and beyond that, most of these artificial humans are enslaved by a corporation (weyland yutani), and despite direct programming from their oppressors, most artificial humans end up doing the right moral thing in the end, further proving their humanity. despite being technically non human, i genuinely think they’re good autistic representation. do i like the way that the characters around them treat them ? no. but i think that might be the point. the point is that these characters are ableist and racist and shouldn’t be considered morally correct. i think that the writers could convey this in a better way though.

okay. racism discussion time. several times throughout this series we encounter artificial humans, and almost every time they have to correct their peers on the right terminology to use for them. as a native person who has had to tell multiple people (coworkers, professors, etc.) not to call me an indian, this really stuck with me growing up, and i still think it’s interesting to this day. in alien: romulus andy’s sister uses “synthetic” to refer to him MULTIPLE TIMES, after he’s stated that he prefers artificial human. this is important, because even though he’s family she still does not fully understand what he goes through and she does not respect his identity or boundaries.

there are also multiple instances throughout the series where characters (our beloved ripley included) have prejudice against artificial humans because of bad experiences with artificial humans in the past. this causes human characters to attack and/or harass artificial humans who they have just met for no other reason than their race. in alien: romulus we see a character be hostile towards andy because another unrelated artificial human made a choice to save the many over the few, and his mother died. this is a choice that many humans would make and would not be blamed for. this reflects the real world, where people of color are blamed for almost every choice they make, while white folks can make the same choices and not be criticized.

in conclusion, i love the character of andy and i think him and the alien franchise as a whole is so interesting. let me know if you want a deep dive into the themes of sexual violence, birth, and motherhood in the alien series !! i’ve done a whole research paper on it, and my college admissions essay was about the alien queen, so i know quite a lot !! i hope this drives a lot more fans towards the alien fandom and i hope a bunch more merch comes out !! yippee !!

[miragedmoon]

Walks in, people are really doing the “my white man has done nothing wrong in the narrative ever because he is autistic and autistic people can do nothing wrong actually” with Dungeon meshi

Read down below for my thoughts on people pulling this shit

Before I start, maybe pick up a book from school and practice how to read a narrative and learn content analysis,

it’ll really help because I don’t know what the hell else to say to people who are bad at reading subtext and putting context into practice at this point

I see the sentiment of “Kabru is actually evil because he actively murders people-“ as if the story isn’t actually like super nuanced and complex in its’ dynamics between races

and y’all can only really see a man that has personally gone through nothing but tragedy have a proper reaction to not having that tragedy handled properly and go “because he is a brown man he is inherently violent and therefore bad for my white man because of these story beats” with the type of stupid white person reaction.

The subtext went out the window huh, he gave the viewer ample context and reason as to why it happened he was going to kill the body retriever group, WHO WAS TRYING TO SAY TO HIM THAT THEY WERE GOING TO MUG HIM. AND KILL HIM AND SPLIT THE MONEY THEY MADE FROM GAMING A SYSTEM THEYVE BEEN EXPLOITING, WHICH HE DIDN’T DO.

Dying to monsters is one thing but someone like a retriever artificially upping the amount of people who die in a dungeon while also actively disrespecting the rules that the dungeon has by doing that fits perfectly into Kabru’s moral compass and motivation. Do you think that wouldn’t bother him? Sure, he has learning to do himself in regards to monsters and all, but do people really think he’s a monster actively incapable of change, when he’s stated in text that he believes himself to be a monster due to the things that have happened to him? Do you think he doesn’t blame himself and have survivors guilt from what he went through? Or do we think because Kabru lies and he warps and he cheats only to start realizing that the Kabru we’re shown doesn’t even know where he himself starts or ends. This is not trying to justify his actions. I am explaining his thinking. Of course He’d kill the retrievers.

And I think he would kill the Canaries if he had the chance to. I think the Retrievers were an active stand in for his feelings towards the Canaries.

When you build a life speaking lies after your previous status quo crumbles, how the fuck are you supposed to differentiate your own behaviors from the lies you grow into saying to make sure you don’t get close enough to people to be hurt as badly as he was as a kid. He is a sole survivor of a tragedy, and he reacts accordingly, and you all just want to antagonize him.

Did we forget who we’re talking about in comparison here, or are you guys that focused on justifying a man who clearly was used, exploited, and literally lost his mother because some group who thought themselves to be higher than due to their longer life cycles decided to destroy his whole life because it created a slight inconvenience

god you lot are truly fucking insufferable and can’t let characters be complex without woobifying or flanderizing them to be more digestible.

Let characters be complex.

You don’t have to like them all the time, You don’t have to agree with their actions.

You don’t have to agree with a character all the time for you to like a character’s writing.

[hpysprkl]

Playing with color. Alternate version of this thing from the other day. Do I like this one better? Maybe, I dunno. Was I worried people would think it was too weird? ... What, no, of course not 😳

Ko-fi || Commission info

[omkdear]

WIP Wednesday 6/12/24 pt. 2

As I've been stuck in Fallout hell—writing a longfic and numerous other things that have been stuck in my brain for a decade—I've decided to share not one, but TWO WIPS. One is from my Pre-War fic, which is a series split into 3 books, titled "Beneath the Gathering Shadow." The second is my post-war series, "We Still Kill the Old Ways," which has several works that are spread across all of the Fallout 4 storyline and post-game as well.

For those of you who have read my work on AO3 (link on my pinned post), the post-war blurb takes place after "The Cause Your Light Withdraws." Shout out to @hpysprkl and @odd-ball-out for peeping at these two blurbs and being amazing! <3 TW: Canon typical violence, drugs use, swearing, post partum talk, general misery you've been warned. (Hmtl for read more is not working for some reason, apologies) _-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__

PROLOGUE

Just outside Concord, in a has-seen-better-days entry into the Drumlin' Diner chain, a man of modest height entered half past ten in the morning. A worn, likely vintage Red Sox cap sat atop his greying, ash-blonde hair, shading an inscrutable gaze behind bottle-green aviator glasses. He wore a dark-brown leather jacket atop a white polo and denim blue jeans. He proceeded towards the counter, pivoting briefly to snatch a newspaper from a vacant booth along the way. He tipped a nod to the waitress behind the counter, Mabel, as her name tag declared. She was a woman who had seen enough winters to be wary of men who wore sunglasses indoors.

Yet she wasn't wary of this man.

"Usual, Lochlan?"

His real name wasn't Lochlan.

He slid into the back, left corner booth—eyes towards the door and the south window. You could hear the mid-morning traffic on the Concord turnpike; drivers with an overestimated sense of their own mortality using their horns as if they could somehow steer fate away from the imminent collision. Like they all weren't going to the same place. While he waited, he opened the newspaper, skimming through headlines and articles with a modicum of interest. Nothing he hadn't heard:

'DEATH TOLL ON ALASKAN FRONT REACHES ALL TIME HIGH'

'GAS PRICES SOAR AGAIN'

'DEFENSE SPENDING BILL HITS TRILLIONS'

'BILL COMES BEFORE MASSACHUSETTS STATE CONGRESS TO LIMIT CIVILIAN POSSESSION OF MILITARY-GRADE WEAPONRY'

He allowed himself a rare smirk at the last headline. Too little, too late—closing the barn door when the horses had already escaped. A waste of taxpayer dollars if ever there was one.

Mabel set a glass of iced tea with a wedge of lemon on the table in front of him, alongside a plate with a New York Steak—medium rare, hash browns overdone, and eggs over easy.

"A1?"

"You know I don't eat that shit on my cow. Ruins the meat."

"It's a cut of New York, not a Filet Mignon. Can't promise it won't need it."

The man grunted noncommittally. He'd have to talk to the Flynns—arrange something with them about their meat sourcing if these kinds of mornings happened more frequently. There weren't enough good mornings to waste on bad cuts of meat.

He grabbed the caddy with the sugar, ignoring the waitress as she brought out steak sauce anyway. Stubborn broad.

Just as he was stirring his tea, the bell above the door chimed again.

Tall, navy blue suit, no tie—tan overcoat and black fedora. Too straight, too white teeth—too white and too straight for this kind of joint. He tipped his hat to Mabel, the shock of ginger hair greying at the temples and scant trace of freckles on his upturned nose made Mabel forget the dark lenses on his face. She had also seen enough summers, with men whose smiles were too wide and their clothes over-starched like his; when she was young, and being a waitress was supposed to be a means to an end. The end never came, and the means had exacted too steep a price.

But the men, well, she thought, smiling demurely at the stranger—their memories were a comfort at least.

Mabel didn't need to know where the man was heading before asking, "Cup of coffee for ya, sir? Our special today is corned beef hash with sourdough toast and eggs. Does that tickle your fancy?"

The newcomer returned the waitress's smile. "That sounds marvelous, thank you…" He peered in at her name tag, bright blue eyes peeking out above the rim of his glasses. "Ms. Mabel."

He shucked out of the trench coat with an ease that belied a muscle-ingrained motion but declined to remove his hat or glasses as he slid across from the man at the back left corner booth.

The man facing the door clanged his spoon loudly inside the glass while stirring his iced tea, pursing his lips as the aged vinyl protested weakly.

The jukebox on the other end of the diner clicked over, the restaurant's overhead speakers warbling to life—Janis Joplin summarily raised from the dead along with it.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me, a Mercedes Benz…

The newcomer, now sitting directly across the man with the iced tea, smiled an insincere smile, as if he was privy to a joke that no one else understood.

"Now that was a classic."

"You think I pick this shitty hood for the food? Fuck no. The owner of this shit-box also runs a vintage music restoration shop, just outside Malden."

"I meant the car, but we can work with Joplin, too."

The man who was actually Lochlan, by way of his middle name, barked a rare laugh. Edward Lochlan Winter, readily known to most everyone in this shitty Drumlin' in Concord as Eddie Winter, was not well known for his sense of humor.

"Like you're old enough to remember what a Benz looked like. Yah no. Fuck outta here with that bullshit."

The other man, known merely as Bishop, chuckled as he accepted the coffee Mabel brought over. There was a calmness about him that did not match the restlessness of the world outside. "Fair point," he conceded, blowing on his coffee before taking a cautious sip. "Though arguably, one could say the same about you, Mr. Winter." _-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–_

P.D.D.S.: Postpartum Depression Detection Subroutine

Gunfire echoed through the ruins of what used to be her home—Cambridge—pulling George from the grip of ice and time. And much like that piece of wedding cake that had sat in the back of her freezer, far past her and Nate's first anniversary 220 years earlier, George's life had thawed out too, and it was stale.

"Stupid, Georgia Eugene—just stupid," she muttered to herself. Cambridge wasn't part of the plan her mind had been cobbling together, not when her destination lay southeast in fuckin' Fenway—Diamond City. You had to go and get sucked into thinking about him instead of focusing on your fucking son, you degenerate piece of—

Abruptly, she cut herself off. There was no use berating herself now. The feral ghouls swarming the streets cared fuck all for her self-loathing, and George cared even less about wasting ammunition on what were likely her former neighbors. She unhooked the ripper from her belt, the familiar weight settling into her hand as if it had always belonged there.

Killing feral ghouls turned out to be easier than she thought it would be. Maybe growing up without censorship and a healthy dose of zombie media had prepared her for this more than she'd ever imagined. We're not so different, you and I, George's mind continued as she kicked the second ghoul away, catching it off balance. The creature screeched at her, its mouth a grotesque caricature of what might once have been a human smile.

"I know, darling," she apologized as the ripper's blade carved a grim grin across its throat. "It's not fair. I don't much like the look of my face in the mirror either."

The reality of her survival was far removed from any medium she'd ever consumed. No epic violin swells heralded her slaughter of the undead, no ammunition was in endless supply, and the gore factor? Her stomach threatened to revolt every time she managed to get a good look at what she'd done. Two hundred and ten years frozen and her body didn't even give her the decency to skip the postpartum nausea that had plagued her the two months after giving birth to Shaun. It turned out, the only thing that her body had been generous with was the stretch marks.

The third feral swung at her head with hands reduced to bone and hardened sinew, and George ducked instinctively, the creature's nails scraping against her ponytail as they missed her scalp by mere centimeters. She rolled to the side, springing to her feet with the agility of someone who had spent a lifetime avoiding obstacles—both physical and metaphorical. That, and like someone who had found a stash of Buffout in a random shack near a pond infested with giant-ass mosquitoes.

God, she'd take slaughtering her former neighbors over those vampiric tank-bugs any day of the fuckin' week.

She wasn't sure how long she danced with the undead, but when the last of them lay still, and the motor of her ripper had wound down to a gentle purr, George stood panting in the street. Stupid-ass-high-drug-tolerance, she seethed inwardly, her fingers slippery with gore, instinctively gripping the handle of her weapon harder.

"Clean up on aisle five," she muttered to herself, tilting her head towards the direction of the continued mayhem. Not that she needed to—she'd been heading towards the station from the start. Because she was stupid and hopeless and, along with all the other goodies her new mom bod had bestowed upon her, George had always been blessed with an inability not to pick at scabs. Cambridge P.D. had been her home away from home once upon a time; back when she had a career and a life that hadn't been capsized by a man-child, a baby, and a nuclear holocaust. In that order, of course.

She trudged forward, her boots squelching in the aftermath of what she had done to her maybe-former-hairdresser and her possibly-once-favorite-pharmacist. If only ol' Norman knew you'd end up using his painkillers to keep from screaming when you put him and his wife down. Even if the Buffout was wearing off, at least the twenty tabs of well-preserved slow-release benzos she'd found in the remains of her old dealer's house were still doing their job. It made the last few blocks of her former life a blur, and George was just fine with that.

_-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–__-_–_ Thanks for reading if you managed to make it this far!

[serknighted]

Danse & Hancock's parallels are eating my sanity slowly so by God I will write them here

So. Usually incredibly shy about posting my feelings about characters and my interpretations of them, but I don't think I can sit idly by without addressing 1. how much I love this post about Danse and how his story ties back to the isolation and loneliness of autism, and 2. how much I need more content between Hancock & Danse to exist, because my god sometimes I forget they hate each other in-game. (I strongly suggest you read the post mentioned & linked, they do a fantastic job framing Danse in a way I don't think I could fully articulate)

Danse & Hancock both have stories filled with themes of intense loneliness. Despite their hard work, effort, and prowess in the things they love, it doesn't take good sight to realize that neither of them are very well liked. It's not that they aren't respected, but whether it's Danse's all-too-formal approach to speaking, or Hancock's combination of hard drug use & almost constant overbearing presence (on top of years of slander from bigger cities, but we'll get into that), people see them as a tool of success and a good asset to have around, but not much of a friend, so to speak. Especially in Hancock's case, many people he is overly-affectionate with are often more annoyed by his presence than anything else (even if they do like him).

For Hancock, despite how much he claims to not relate to the isolation of the common ghoul, he's likely over-exaggerating his charisma in an effort to make himself more easily approachable, mostly for his own peace of mind rather than for others. While he sounds quite passive about things many others would react strongly to, I feel it's a combination of him having replaced a layer of how he truly feels with an element of sass on top of the drug use that makes all the trauma more easily bearable (to mixed effect).

One of his lines that has always struck me as conflicting with how he portrays himself is a common generic line he has while traveling with Sole Survivor, praising them for "living out the day" when most others could not. Hancock has seen so many people die to the brutal hands of the Commonwealth; whether it be Vic and his boys gunning down innocent drifters, seeing people succumb to the elements, or, in this case, simply not surviving their travels with him, Hancock seems to have a track record of never properly establishing proper bonds with others before they either die, or decide he's too overbearing to deal with further. He's one of those characters who desperately wants to have a deeper connection with those he loves, but he has consistently lost the chance to do so before he was ever ready, and so he chooses to fill the void with meaningless sexual relationships and one-night stands- anything to make him temporarily forget how much he hates himself and his almost comical lack of social understanding. It's a train of thought that I, as an autistic person, can really understand and relate to-- the desire to know people, but always feeling like no matter how you portrayed yourself, no one seems to want to be around you if you don't provide them with what they desire. It's caused him to deeply undervalue both how much he's done for people (since he believes its expected of him to constantly bend over backwards for the needs of others), and himself, all at the same time.

I don't think Danse fully recognizes how lonely he feels, a lot. He's been so heavily indoctrinated by the Brotherhood of Steel into believing that this is how he should be treated, that his work is for the betterment of humanity, that his sacrifice is a necessary one. The way he speaks almost carelessly about late brothers and sisters in arms makes me think really hard about how rooted this idea of only existing for the "greater good" is. Individuality is questionable & almost taboo, being different is outright abominable. It's the reason why the rhetoric of "Us vs. Them" works-- the BoS as a collective believe that they are doing good for all of humanity, and any outlier to that "perfect" formula is a threat not only to the BoS, but to everything they know. Danse is expected to bend over backwards for people, and no longer questions his loneliness or isolation, as he has all but given up his sense of self for what he believes is right. Another thing that I and many of my autistic friends relate to; a sense of justice so strong that it's overpowering. Like us, Danse is willing to sacrifice anything to do what's right... including himself.

Knowing this, it's easy to understand why he hates Hancock, and that backwards mindset is the reason Hancock hates him. It's an especially vicious cycle that constantly feeds into itself if unchecked, and Hancock knows that he alone cannot convince Danse to break that cycle. Hancock knows he can't beat Danse in a fight; all he has are his words, and logic is useless against an enemy that heeds to no truths. Even after Danse discovers his true nature... you can't expect him to unravel the years of constant reassurance that what he was taught was right in a single night. "Rome wasn't built in a day," and no one gets over their trauma so quickly, either. It's traumatic to have an explanation as to why people hate you. A catch-all reason to people's fear and distaste to you, that is also something you can never, ever change. Danse would sooner hate himself for what he is than accept those he used to murder without a second thought. It's the difficult reality of anyone attempting to unlearn painful conservative narratives; the shame & guilt of hurting others that are more similar to you than you ever wanted to know is sometimes more painful than realizing what you really are.

Hancock, albeit not even close to "recovered" from his mental woes, is much further along the path of acceptance to Danse, but not far enough away that he wouldn't understand where Danse is coming from. For so long, he sat idly by and watched people get hurt, even during his time in Diamond City. The constant conditioning to accept other people's pain as long as it wasn't happening to you still eats at his consciousness; just like Danse, he knows it was wrong to accept it, but the guilt makes it harder to deal with. He, of all people, would understand what it feels like to try so, so hard to fit in, to be normal and accepted, but never quite hit the mark of understanding where he fits in society. That's the reason he is the way he is now; his signature, his "Hancock," is to be as loud and out-of-place as possible-- a constant rebellion against what people expect him to be, a rebellion of oppression and unfair treatment. Danse's sheer existence is an involuntary rebellion of all BoS values, and even if Hancock would be hesitant to become close to Danse for a long while, I think he would be impressed by him, in the end, and more importantly, understand where he's coming from.

Their combined interest in both protecting the people they care about as well as the collective societies those people come from, as well as how nerdy they both are about US history... I think, eventually, they will realize how similar their lives were, how similar they are to each other, and maybe even find some comfort in knowing that they aren't alone in all of the waves of shame, guilt, and loneliness. That there is an overarching group of people who understand them, and that they do have a place in this world. I think once they recognize that similar traumas can manifest in polar opposite conditions (ones that they used to have a narrow, black-and-white outlook on), they'll also find that there is no real reason to hate each other anymore; the world has told them that they must hate each other, but they no longer have any need to listen.

TL;DR autistic Danse & Hancock ftw

[au-sonic-smackdown]

AU Sonic Smackdown - Round 1, Right Side

Click to see full size image

Infested AU belongs to @hejjhug

Sonic Thunderstorm AU belongs to @delightrolls

Read more about them under the cut!

Infested AU-

Sonic, under the influence of a mysterious alien brain parasite, has become unpredictable and very, very dangerous. While all his powers remain the same, he now uses his speed to maim and kill anyone who moves. Sonic’s mental state has devolved to basic instinct, and, thanks to the parasite, he is in a near-constant state of feeling like a wild animal trapped in a corner. As a result, he will call upon impossible strength, reserved only for life-or-death scenarios. Pray you don’t catch his attention. You can’t outrun the fastest thing alive.

Sonic Thunderstorm AU-

Sonic the Hedgehog is an Egyptian Long-Eared Hedgehog. Sonic has major Electrokinesis and major Aerokinesis and major Cháokinesis. Sonic is an aromantic quoiromantic asexual aegosexual intersex pangender bordergender narkissigender genderspeed hedgehog with ADHD, BPD, and NPD who uses any pronouns, including storm/storms, ⛈️/⛈️s, thunder/thunders, 🌩️/🌩️s, gale/gales, 🌀/🌀s, bree/breeze, and 🍃/🍃s pronouns. Sonic is a result of the Ultimate Lifeform Project specifically Project Kinesis, a search to cure aging, discover the genes responsible for Kinetic Abilities, and grant Mobian Kinetic Abilities to humans. Many Mobians with Kinetic Abilities were kidnapped and bred to have their abilities studied resulting in the birth of Sonic, their pink and green siblings, and many others. Around the age of 3 - 5 Sonic and well as their mother and two siblings escaped the lab only to drown in the ocean during their get away leaving Sonic as the sole survivor and with an intense fear of water. After being saved from drowning they were put the foster system where they were they were often bullied or excluded by the other children and past around from home to home sometimes being treated well but other times being abused their adoptive families and that combined with never having a stable home leads to them developing BPD. Around the age of 12 - 13 Sonic gets tired of feeling unloved by both the foster homes they lived at and by the people who adopted them only to later throw them away so Sonic decides to run away in the hopes of finding someone who will genuinely care about them. While struggling to survive on their own the hedgehog starts to encounter Eggman and quickly becomes a thorn in his side. Also while searching for a home they encounter Tails, a DID system who is being abused by their family and bullied due to being Autistic. Sonic, sympathetic to their new friend's suffering, encourages them to run away with them to find somewhere better to live. While on their quest for a happy home the two become known for stopping Eggman's evil deeds resulting a couple named Darron Bolos Segaleh and Ilaiya Gotzone Nailah coming to adopting the two. The relationship starts of sweet but in reality Darron really only cares about using to two as mascots for his company and isn't above mistreating and abusing his children when they do something that makes his company loses money or negatively impacts their image. Being treated like a prince when succeeding and as worthless after every mistake leads to Sonic developing NPD. After growing up Sonic eventually goes on to live in a house with a number of their friends including Tails and Sonic is able to finally start recovering from everything that happened to them although they find recovery incredibly difficult. Sonic is a sweet person but is very emotional unstable which can lead to them make mistakes or hurting themself.

[quyqyart]

This scene suffered from the pace being rushed which makes it hard to understand what Kabru is going on about if you didn't piece together the story through his POV. This is unfortunate cuz this moment is so realistically messy yet is the satisfying moment when the leading and supporting characters finally come into an understanding.

Kabru's antagonism makes perfect sense only if the readers remove themselves from their favoritism to Laios.

I see some confusion over why he thinks Laios is an enemy of humanity. Firstly, Laios thinks the things that killed all of his family and community are cool. This alone to me is at least sympathetic enough to see why he harbors subconscious prejudice against Laios. It doesn't make him right, but it's logical enough.

Secondly, yeah he's in over his head with his own judgment and thinks too highly of his own motive*. Thirdly, he's bit of a dick to Laios I won't even lie here (I do blame stress for the punch) . But like everyone except Falin is a fucking dick to Laios when you think about it.

And to be completely fair, ever since he knew of Laios' interest till even here still Kabru's been flip-flopping between "This man might save us all" and "He would choose monsters over humanity, we are doomed if he got the power which he is very close to getting rn, let kill him". It's not like he went 100% antagonistic.

This is getting long so,,,My breakdown of Kabru's pov, which explains his actions regarding Laios, under the readmore.

Let see thru Kabru's pov in chronological order:

Taking it from the start, Kabru has a bit of a savior complex no doubt stems from his survival guilt. Being the sole survivor of a massacre by monsters it's understandable he feel that it's his duty to find out why it happened and prevent it from happening again. We saw him and his crew talking shit about how good he is at reading people, and he totally gonna topple the greedy governor and save this place. Then they continuously got their asses handed to them by monsters cuz while Kabru read people well, he can't handle monsters. So yeah he admitted deep down he's not making it to the deep.

So now Kabru wants to find someone he can trust to save the island. He got his eyes on Laios bc he can't read him. Laios is a damn good dungeon explorer and isn't motivated by greed while almost everyone is, so what gives?

Here we see Kabru reveals he had failed to get Laios attention while trying to get to know his mysterious party. This is my interpretation only but he was definitely pissed about it too. Kabru is a bit over his head about his own charm so Laios ignoring him probably stunk.

Even after knowing Laios' special interest he was like "huh so that's how he is" until the matter of dungeon master's power come up and it occurred to him "wait would this guy who loves monsters use the power to make the dungeon full of powerful monsters that will destroy people?" He definitely did not decide Laios was humanity emeny right there, it's a possibility. As much as Laios pulling through and save the island from becoming another Utaya tragedy is a possibility.

Here, we see him desperately clinging to the former possibility until the latter took over "It's too late to get through to him i have to kill him." But did it take over? In that panic, his true feeling comes out. He still wants to understand Laios as a person, he still wants to believe in Laios after all.

Wgile it's easy to get pissed at Kabru just as we did the the Shuro/Toshiro vs Laios fight scene. Fellow autistics know how much it fucking hurt to get your social ineptitude get dragged out like that. I do think Kabru's rant here is good for Laios. This is the first time somebody has admitted to want to get to know why he like monsters despite them hating the creatures. It's not the solidarity like what he and his sister has, but it's not total rejection. Again, his own party members who care about him want nothing to do with his interest (minus Senshi)

Tldr: Kabru's alright and his actions make complete sense even if it's flawed