#feel good. and that was because I would see people and characters. the majority trans. and I would WANT. I would want that

[autistic-britta-perry]

getting emotional over like. the existence of trans people. I just like I hope this comes across well but my first ever feelings of rightness with my body and of like a type of beauty that I want and that would give me joy were all pictures or fictional portrayals of transmasc and non binary people watching the second half of that one ruby rose video as a teenager. watching ma vie en rose and replaying the scene which in she and a masculine 'girl' switch costumes watching trans coming out videos. Watching Carmilla and seeing Lafontaine saying 'I don't want to be Susan anymore' watching a youtuber I followed have top surgery and how happy they are and how right the chest looks watching Yael in degrassi put a binder on and replaying the scene of them seeing their flat chest and lowering their hands over it like a hundred times listening to one of my favorite songs ever that's all about loving your body despite not being what you wanted reading stone butch blues. listening to ring of keys and feeling something swelling on my chest

[drdemonprince]

Gender liberation, in the end, is not a war between the good group and the bad. It is a collective struggle against the laws, cultural norms, social rules, and institutional policies that restrict all people, and uses rigid gendered categories to keep us so restricted. 

I think if we are going to be able to move forward in this fight, trans men must abandon the notion that other men are fundamentally the “bad” gender — and that we don’t belong to that category because of our transness. We must embrace manhood as a state of both strength and profound lostness, an immense liability as much as it is a source of gender euphoric joy, and see the frustrated wanderings of other marginalized masculine people as of a piece with our own. 

And so, in the interest of helping us all find our way to each other, here are some of the major struggles that trans men and cis men have in common: 

Gender Dysphoria 

Many people believe the experience of having gender dysphoria is something like having a phantom limb, or seeing the wrong image in the mirror, but that’s rarely true. 

For a lot of trans people, gender dysphoria feels more like a maddening insecurity about how we look and how we are being perceived that seems to know no satisfaction, a mental itching that wanders all across our bodies, our faces, down our throats, across our hairlines, and even all over our clothes. It’s the uncertain sense we are not being ourselves correctly, an out-of-placeness that makes our very being feel like it has no right to exist.

Gender dysphoria is not caused by having the “wrong” gendered brain for one’s body (the notion of “male” and “female” brains is a myth), nor is it a mental illness afflicting only trans people. Rather, gender dysphoria is a pretty sensible trauma response to society’s unrelenting and coercive gendering. All people are categorized as a gender, assigned rules, and threatened with becoming less of a person should they fail to measure up. This means that even cisgender people can experience the terror of feeling that they’ve failed to enact their gender correctly and make themselves socially acceptable— a sensation that often gets called “gender dysphoria.” 

I think I first realized that cis people could be gender dysphoric when the actress Amanda Bynes revealed she had tumbled into a major depressive episode after watching herself portray a male character in the comedy She’s the Man. The disturbance she felt from watching herself enact the “wrong” gender sounded exactly like how I felt back when I looked in the mirror at myself as a “woman.” 

In 2019, when Jason Derulo complained about his bulge being removed with CGI for his role in the film Cats, I was reminded once again that cis people can feel utterly, dysphorically wrong in their bodies or how they are perceived. Each year, millions of cis people spend thousands of dollars on breast augmentations, jaw implants, hair plugs, and leg-lengthening surgeries, at least in part for gender dysphoric reasons, and if you’ve worn both male and female clothing before, you’ve likely recognized how much of the tailoring of garments is done to deliberately accentuate or even manufacture the gendered features of a person’s shape. 

Cis people feel ill-at-ease in their bodies, and fail to measure up to gender normative standards too. That’s how artificially constructed and harshly enforced these standards really are.

In recent years, I’ve spent a good amount of time in gay male bathhouses. When I reveal this fact, even to other gay men, I’m sometimes met with confessions of deep bodily insecurity. The idea of being nude in a highly gendered sexual marketplace often causes people’s worst gendered fears to bubble up. 

“I could never go to a place like that,” one cis gay man in his forties confessed to me. “My dick is too small. Nobody would ever want to look at me.” 

“I wouldn’t fit in there,” said another cis man, a short, effeminate type with long flowing hair. “They might think I was a girl and kick me out or harass me.” 

These men knew, of course, that I don’t have a penis, and can be mistaken for a woman from some angles. And I had just told each of them I’d never had any problem visiting the sauna. Yet they couldn’t shake the sense that I was doing manhood correctly enough, and they were somehow doing it wrong. Despite ostensibly being “cis,” they weren’t quite sure that manhood as a category could hold them as they really were — not when they were nude and vulnerable, surrounded by their idea of the proper man. 

Of course, having been in these spaces frequently, I could have told them that nobody there is the “proper” kind of man at all. There’s just regular human beings in there — with sunken chests, stretch marks, amputated limbs, multi-layered bellies, rounded backs, tiny hands, and eye patches. 

Over the years, cis men have shared dozens of gender dysphoric insecurities with me, about everything from the width of their shoulders to the length of their eyelashes to the way they hold a can of beer. And in some of the sections below, we will explore more specific examples, because these sources of dysphoria mirror trans men’s almost exactly. But it’s important to establish first that the major commonality across both groups of men is our fear we’re not being men correctly at all. 

Every man, I believe, grapples with the disjoint between their actual, complex human selves and the strong, built, stoic, powerful, masculine image that has been pushed upon us. And we fear living up to that standard because the consequences of that failure can be so harsh — these norms are quite violently imposed. 

Failing to be a man, in some sense, is what being a man actually means. We are united in the precarity of our position, as powerful as it is. A man in a tank-top with a bald spot sitting beside a lush pond. Photo by Beth Macdonald on Unsplash

Hair Insecurities 

“I wish I could grow a full beard so that I could pass better,” says Topher, a trans guy with long hair in his mid-twenties. “But I’m realizing that cis men with long hair get misgendered often too.” 

Dunmer, a bisexual trans guy, echoes this experience. “In this one chemistry class a few years ago, both me and this cis guy got called ma’am by a professor. I’m a rather effeminate/androgynous dude, but I have prominent facial hair. And the other guy who got misgendered was pretty masculine, but had long hair and was clean shaven. We both just kinda looked at each other and shrugged after it happened.” 

I’ve found that numerous cis and trans men harbor deep insecurities about their hair — where it’s growing, where it doesn’t, how it looks on their bodies, and where they might be losing it. It may sound like a frivolous subject at first blush, but hair is integral to gendered perceptions, as well as how others view our sexual attractiveness, race, and age. 

Trans men worry frequently about potential hair loss on T for more aesthetic reasons. I’ve known numerous trans masculine people who have avoided starting hormones because they’ve feared eventually going bald and becoming “less attractive.” And in this we aren’t alone, as 52 billion dollars gets spent each year (by people of all genders) on hair loss prevention treatments. 

“It’s helped me to realize that cis men are also scared of going bald,” says Topher. “When I worry about something gender-wise, I ask myself if cis men deal with what I deal with, and it’s helped me settle into my identity more.” 

Cis and trans men also share complicated feelings about body hair. Though being covered in a dark blanket of fuzz certainly reads as “masculine,” male beauty standards for the last several decades have eschewed hairiness in favor of a the glistening, action-figure-y look. Trans and cis men alike often fear that hair sprouting on their backs will make them unattractive, or that growing a “neckbeard” will be seen as slovenly. And it’s no coincidence that hairiness has often been linked with fatness and being racialized in many people’s minds — the uncontrolled proliferation of hair is often cast as animalistic, unclean, disgusting, less than human. 

But some men have sought refuge from such punishing standards within the gay Bear community. 

“I have never felt more welcomed in my masculinity than I have around other bears,” says Kody, a trans male bear. “I’m literally growing in my manhood — getting bigger, hairier, louder, taking up more space. While being really soft and tender too.” 

I wrote about the many struggles that unite trans and cis men, and how a deep appreciation for our commonalities is essential to the fight for gender liberation. You can read the full piece for free, or have it narrated to you by the Substack app, at drdevonprice.substack.com.

[tritoch]

Something that bugs me a lot in Dawntrail discourse is watching people who think they are defending the expansion argue away its best aspect. Because here's the thing: Wuk Lamat isn't like prior FFXIV characters. She takes up way more space than them. That's good!

A common thread you see in defenses is that people are complaining about things they were fine with earlier in the story. "Oh well actually Lyse was also the main character of Stormblood and people didn't hate her as much!" or "Heavensward is the story of Aymeric and Estinien and Ysayle, and the Warrior of Light doesn't do that much!" or "No one complained when Gaia jumped into the Eden raids, or when Emet showed up during Seat of Sacrifice" with the implied conclusion of "Wuk Lamat's not different from any other previous major character, your complaints have more to do with [sexism/transphobia/your crippling insecurity about not being the main character] than the way she's written." First of all people did hate Lyse. I get what you are saying but they very much did hate Lyse.

But Wuk Lamat is different. She's different because Dawntrail is unapologetically, full-throatedly her story. She is there at the start, she is there at the end, she is there basically all the way through except for a brief interlude. She is the character you talk to the most, she is also the character that talks the most. She has more of a complete arc than anyone else in the expansion. The antagonists develop much stronger direct and personal relationships to her than they ever do with you. Several major characters have relationships to you through her more than they do with you directly. At multiple points in the story you explicitly step back and are like "Go right ahead, queen, do the main character stuff." She 100% takes your role in certain ways. She's literally a new WL to your WoL!

and that's awesome! Like, holy shit! If you had traveled back in time and told me after Endwalker, "Hey, the next expansion will be almost solely and entirely focused on the character journey of a young woman, and she'll be nuanced and complex and allowed to fail but also allowed to succeed wildly, and her characterization will be interesting and her ideals will be very directly challenged, and she'll get to do some real classic 'sorry my noble opponent but I must stop you, even though I sympathize' shit, and the way she is framed won't feel excessively male-gazey, and she won't get stuck in the FFXII Ashe Miniskirt, and she won't just be someone you watch and clap for while the real protagonist and narrator is some random guy in her entourage," I would've been like "haha, okay, I like FFXIV as much as the next guy but I don't think it's shaken its baseline sexism off enough to do an expansion entirely about a woman and her personal growth and what makes her a good leader, especially after Stormblood's mixed reception. And CBU3 definitely doesn't have the guts to make her even more of a main character than any other prior NPC, and you didn't mention this part future time traveler, but I also don't believe they'll be willing to cast a trans woman in the role." And I would have been fucking wrong!

Yes, Wuk Lamat is the main character. Yes, she does get more attention than other NPCs, or even your Warrior of Light. And yes, that's totally fine, and even something to praise!!! You don't have to run from it to accommodate people who are looking for something to complain about!

[a-bright-comet]

Okay I am very happy to see more and more people call out the weirdos, namely the ones villainizing pregnancy and all that, But I wanna talk about the startling amount of people I've been seeing popping up calling Jade and Stalker's romance "cheap, boring, easy" just *because* it's woman-loving-man or "straight" as these people keep calling it.. How wild is that-? to call a romance boring because of the gender of the people involved? they're not calling it boring cause of writing but because of their damn genders? hello?? do you know how insane that would sound if said about a sapphic or achillean (mlm) couple?? imagine if someone said that about Albrecht and Loid they'd get flamed so fucking fast dude. Do these people also forget bi/pan etc. wlm relationships exist? or that straight genderqueer people and relationships exist?? that queer wlm relationships just exist as well in general??? I'm a bi woman in a relationship with a bi trans man, JUMPSCARE! we exist! while I understand being tired of wlm romances cause there's enough out there to get to hell and back, that doesn't mean they should just, not exist? or that they're inherently bad or boring? not only is that just weird period but it also erases the people and relationships mentioned above. (also goes against the whole equality thing we've all been fighting for my guy) also like, the last time we got a wlm relationship between major/important characters in warframe was god damn Ballas and Lotus and that shit was abusive, we needed a healthy one to balance it lmaaoooo. Annd to my knowledge there hasn't been any romance between two warframes before these two yet so it's not like they've done it before to warrant the groaning? you know it's odd how I almost felt this type of attitude coming, I was witnessing a concerning steady rise of hating pregnancy in fiction from one side of the internet and just general hatred of wlm relationships on the other side of the internet, such a shame it all came to a boiling point and targeted this quest that really didn't deserve it. Honestly looking at it without the stained view of people the quest is just as good as all the others before it, short, sweet and impactful. I really enjoy it and have been trigger happy with the block on anyone slightly annoying about it cause at this point it feels like we don't even play the same game lmao. anyways this will likely be the last post about people being weird as I don't wanna bring more negativity to the tag and I'm tired of people pff but posts like these are unfortunately important cause if you let the mold sit it'll contaminate and ruin everything. Jade, Stalker and their beb deserve all the love they can get, I will not tolerate slander. >:[

[plaidos]

Didn't want to be that one follower who sucks the wind out of the room with a big addition, so sending this for you to answer or ignore at your own discretion.

Visavis that body slider post, I kind of just feel like we can't and will never be able to depend on AAA games to represent us accurately, or really any minority experience for that matter. These games are all fairly archetypical power fantasy heroes quests or whatever, and especially if they incorporate full character customization, they necessarily will shave off granularity, especially in the name of budget feasibility.

Maybe they could be convinced that transfems are a large enough market to hire a VA for us, and learn the dos and donts of body/gender character creation by rote, but the story will still be roughly the same. They won't add a hundred, maybe thousand, little instances of microaggression, degendering, kneejerk suspicion; completely rewrite the fabric of how every other character in the game interacts with us, because then they'd have to do that for every other conceivable identity.

I'm not saying this is fair, or justified, or that they should be let off the hook for it, but I just unfortunately don't see it ever changing for these types of games. A far more feasible ask, in my opinion, would be to demand that games if anything stop making the character a blank canvas for the audience to craft an effigy of themselves, and instead force them to make narratives that are explicitly transfeminine alongside being power fantasy heroes quests; to ask the majority cis audience to step into our shoes for once, in a way that can't be cordoned off to the side as the overwhelming majority of the audience plays as a character that doesn't force them to challenge their preconceptions of the world.

i agree somewhat, but i’m not necessarily asking for literally every line of dialogue to be restructured for every element of every character — but this is Dragon Age we’re talking about; it prides itself on writing separate dialogues for different character traits, and it literally follows through on doing that with transness as a trait too — that’s actually one of the cooler parts of Veilguard. the problem is that when we come to meet the non-binary character, none of their story makes any kind of sense. theyre closeted and anxious about telling their mom, but… there doesn’t seem to be any transphobia in this world, so why would that be a factor? there’s this great big Very Special Episode feeling cutscene about this character being accidentally misgendered and how all the cis characters should punish themselves for it. but if there’s no transphobia, that’s just a genuine mistake, like i don’t see people forcing themselves to do push-ups when they accidentally refer to their married friend as “miss”, or if you accidentally refer to a cis person who changed their name by their old name — it’s just a “oh my bad, sorry” moment before moving on — and worse yet, this conversation forces your character to be a cis person at the sidelines when it’s a perfect example of just One perfect place you could be inserting different dialogue for a trans character.

i’m not asking for massive vast differences between trans and cis characters, obviously these types of RPGs have to have some element of mushy in-the-middle-ness to be able to have such widely customisable characters. but there’s a mid ground between “literally realistic depiction of being microaggressed by every cis person you meet & totally separate dialogue trees and quests and storylines” and “my trans character is assumed to be cis in the writing of cutscenes interacting with major trans characters about them being trans”. and we’re at the latter right now.

you’re right — we’re not a marketable demographic. that’s not why these things are being added: that’s literally my point, the trans content in videogames is largely aimed at cis people feeling good and progressive for its surface level inclusion. like, “nobody cares enough to represent us because we won’t give them enough money” is part of what i’m complaining about? 😭

[oldtvandcomics]

Compound Fracture is a Book About History and Legacy

Finally finished Compound Fracture by Andrew Joseph White. There is A LOT that this book has got going for it, but what sticks out the most to me is just how heavy it is with history.

It's something that you see a lot in Black fiction, this emphasis on ancestry and family heritage. Black Panther (2018), to name the example that everyone knows, or if we are at queer horror novels, Virginia Black's Consecrated Ground. Both a very much about family, about the land the family has ties to, and about the new generation's responsibilities to carry on this legacy. I haven't really seen it in white fiction before, at least not US American white fiction.

I especially have not seen it in queer fiction before.

Queer fiction deals a lot with alienation from the family. Characters either get kicked out, leave on their own free will, or have this strong feeling of alienation hanging over their heads. There is no connection to the past. Even the ones who are on good terms with their families, like the movie Runs In The Family (2023), which is genuinely one of the best father-son relationships I have ever seen ANYWHERE, are very much stuck in the present. You can be on good terms with a parent, or sibling, or grandparent, even your extended family, but the previous generations remain silent. The ones who manage to find queer role models within their family do so within someone who is still alive.

And, well, that's all of us, isn't it, doing whatever research into queer history we can however we can (word of mouth on the Internet, mostly), looking for people who might have been like us, but it's still so uncertain, and also, given the nature of the Internet, the names we find are from some random corner of the world that is pretty much never ours. It's Silas in The Spirit Bares Its Teeth latching on to James Barry, because who else is there?

Compound Fracture is all about legacy, and that legacy goes back four generations. It is no wonder that Miles' main Special Interest is history, it's the major theme of the book: How systems of power and oppression get passed down from one generation to the other, how everyone is basically a child caught in the sins of their parents, doomed to repeat it, over and over again. How the ones in power have the possibility to rewrite history, and use it to erase people they don't like, or simply don't care about, and how it takes conscious work and effort to preserve their memory.

And in the middle of it all, a revolutionary, a true role model, not from some random other place, but from Miles' own family. A figure he can look up to, a figure he can admire, a figure whose life and deeds still influence his everyday reality a hundred years later.

A figure he has pretty solid proof to have been a gay trans man.

Silas in The Spirit Bares Its Teeth already had this connection over time with Barry, but that was still quite distant, in that it was completely parasocial. Silas may have seen himself in many ways as Barry's spiritual successor, and he may have even been right, but there was no direct connection between them. If James Barry's consciousness still exists in that world, as a ghost or whatever, then he is pretty guaranteed not to know of Silas' existence. Like, why would he. But with Miles and Compound Fracture, Andrew Joseph White goes this one step further. There IS a direct link between him and Saint Abernathy. Saint Abernathy DOES exist in this book in the form of a ghost, and he DOES care about Miles, and he DOES make it abundantly clear that he is proud of him. Looking further, at the symbolism, it becomes clear that Miles is Saint's heir, and that he is worthy of that role.

I'm pretty sure that every queer person has dreamt of a similar situation regarding members of their own family before. Just knowing that there was someone would be amazing. But to have the founder of your family share your exact identity? To have a sign that they would be proud of you??

Yeah.

As I said, Compound Fracture is a very good book with many strong themes and consequently many reasons why it will appeal to a reader. But this weight of history and legacy are definitely going to be one of the major reasons. I think that we are all secretly STARVED for this kind of queer story.

[gor3sigil]

Yo, I saw your post about trans dudes not gendering hobbies and I want to cosign it real hard

I'm a cis dude (or whatever... wrote that long ask the other day, so you see the whatever). I do stuff like wood carving... at some point I'd like to get into blacksmithing (and a million other things)

Are those masculine hobbies? What a weird thing to even ask, they're just themselves

Carving is carving, everyone should do it

I also want to pick up the skills to make my own clothes some day. Would that be masculine if I call it tailoring or feminine if I call it sewing? It's in fact just a good skill

And I mean Doki Doki is a great game, never played it, just watched it, but what fantastic characters. Liking it isn't gendered, you're right that there's nothing wrong with you

You know, I got into MLP back in like 2011... man... people just can't... eh... no I feel you hard on how it was for you though, cause while I still really love it, I haven't watched it in years, not cause of shame or something but just cause the infinite posts on here about guys who watch it all being creeps kinda sapped my ability to enjoy it

Great show though, still recommend it, just lost my own personal ability to enjoy it other than the occasional fan art

Point is with all of this, none of it effects your gender. Shows aren't gendered, hobbies aren't gendered. Things like make up or what kinda clothes you want to wear aren't gendered

Welding, knitting a baby onesie, blue and pink, dresses or overalls... none of this has gender. Men, women, trans, cis, anyone no matter who they are, how they identify... they all belong equally in all these things... what matters is if it's a good fit for you, there's no such thing as you having to fit the right boxes for it

Easier said than done sometimes to not care what other people thing, especially if it would put you at risk; but from an internal point of view, and from how much you should value others opinions on this... do what you like, and people who don't like it can piss off

But yeah, just saw that post and wanted to weigh in

The stuff I said is true for everyone, but bring it around towards trans men in particular, there's no right way to be a trans man. You're you, you're a trans dude... job done

You get to decide what it looks like for you, but none of this stuff is gendered. You could be the most masculine guy in make up, or you could do the daintiest welding in the most feminine way, but that's just you bringing your own style to it; and just like none of these hobbies are gendered, neither is being a trans guy

Like if you're a masculine trans guy that's great, but if you're real feminine that's great too. That's stuff's just the flavoring for how you're you, none of it's what makes you a guy

I hope you have a nice day

Thank you for your input and I totally agree with everything you said !

It sucks that you can't enjoy MLP like you used to... But yeah, there's a big stigma around "masc looking" people with "fem aligned (to society's standards" hobbies and interests. Like I said in my post, I'm a huge anime fan and I've seen so many cis men get shit for being creeps because they had like their favourite female characters from an anime or manga as their phone wallpaper, or because they had figures and posters, for people it can only be for "gross, NSFW purposes" when it's just people enjoying fictional characters.

And I hate when you say that and people are like "well IF the men in fandoms weren't ALWAYS CREEPS" and it's like: you're talking about the loudest crowd, not the majority. I'm not a big fan of fandoms in general because people tend to be too intense about the media, for me at least. But that's the point of a fandom and there's good and bad in it. It's not a gender thing.

I remember watching a little video about the MLP fandom and finding some things that came out of it like the huge conventions and fanfic and overall creativity so so great !! and then the youtuber introduced the more NSFW, weird part of the fandom and said "I think that the reason why men tend to sexualized fictional characters in shows and any medias is because it's the only way they ever learned to enjoy female characters. As a girl, I can relate to the characters that are girls because they experience similar things to me, but to men, the only relatable and enjoyable thing they can possibly get out of a female character isn't the way she's written, the things she goes through, it's just the sexual gratification she can give."

And I don't have words strong enough to say how APALLED I was by this statement like, do you hear yourself, fr ?!

But anyways, there's still a long road ahead of us for people to just be normal about men liking "unconventional" things. Or to just de-gender things in general, really.

[pinkcrocss]

On Jordan's pronouns..

So the show has openly referred to Jordan as "Bigender" not necessarily "non-binary" (not to say that only non-binary people choose to use they/them pronouns) and we've seen Jordan's friends and loved ones use she/her, he/him and they/them pronouns without any corrections from Jordan.

From that, I think it's clear that Jordan is comfortable with all three pronouns being used. I would go further and say, when using gendered pronouns, Jordan seems to prefer them to mirror how they are presenting.

So more or less, he/they when they're in their masc form and she/they when they are in their fem form. Which is reflective of the experience of some of the genderqueer/gender fluid people I've known irl.

In fact, the only instance of true misgendering we see towards Jordan is in episode 3, from their parents. Essentially, their dad intentionally ONLY uses he/him pronouns, regardless of Jordan's form. And in that instance, there is the added context of the fact that Jordan's father openly rejects Jordan's fem identity.

I bring this up to say, that there's a very annoying behavior I've noticed where anytime someone refers to Jordan using a gendered pronoun, people either jump down their throat or rudely correct them to *they, as if they are intentionally misgendering Jordan.

To some extent, I understand the desire to come to Jordan's defense because the majority of the world is very transphobic, and people want to nip any potential misgendering in the bud.

But I think it is also harmful.

I've seen a lot of discourse about the inherent transmisogyny of people who exclusively refer to trans women and other binary transpeople by "they" pronouns only, as a way to still not acknowledge part of their identity.

There's nothing wrong with using "they" exclusively for Jordan (I do that in my fics too. Just cuz it's easier), but the whole point of pronoun discourse is to get people to actually take the time to respect people's chosen pronouns and understand how it relates to their identity. And when people are genuinely trying to do that in good faith, but people are jumping down their throat and insisting they only use a blanket "they" because of the off chance that you're assuming they're trying to misgender a fictional character, I think it's actually less progressive than people think.

Like yes, call out misgendering and point out when people are actively trying to assign a specific gendered identity to Jordan; but actually take the time to figure out if that is what the person is doing first.

I've been seeing a growing backlash towards Neo-pronouns and any identities outside the gender binary, and I feel like this level of over-correction directly feeds into that sentiment.

Has anyone noticed the same thing? Or maybe have a different interpretation of Jordan's pronoun usage?

TLDR: Since, some people have misunderstood the point of this post-

Jordan uses multiple pronouns.

It is okay to use gendered pronouns for Jordan as long as it's done with proper discretion.

Use context to figure out if someone is actually trying to misgender Jordan before aggressively correcting their pronoun usage.

Forcing people to use a blanket "they" pronoun for a genderqueer person/character, who uses more than one pronoun is *not* progressive.

[nekropsii]

I know the kids in general aren't your thing but what are your thoughts on june egbert as a whole?

I've seen opinions on her existence be pretty varied (tho I guess more recent years its a widely accepted fanon and uh some ppl treat her as canon when.. she's... not lmao..) so I'm curious on your opinion if you have one!

(I personally don't subscribe to the headcanon but otherwise I don't have any strong feelings about it ppl can do whatever they want forever lmao)

I've been vocal about this previously, but in my opinion, all J. Egbert is good J. Egbert. June, John, Transfem, Transmasc, Transneu, Nonbinary, Genderfluid, Multigender, whatever the fuck, I don't care, have fun. Whatever gender people subscribe to the character isn't my business, and I have zero way of telling what it means to people unless they're being super blatant about it, which... Doesn't actually happen often?

I have no way of telling if people subscribe to transfem!June wholesale because that gives them comfort, or transmasc!John because that gives them comfort, or genderfluid!Egbert because that gives them comfort, or even just... Cis Trans Ally John, because that gives them comfort. These are all things I've seen before. I just choose to assume good faith, as is healthier, and respect whatever OP is tagging. If they're tagging art as June, it doesn't matter if she looks the same as she does in canon, or if she's pre-transition, that's June to them, so I'll tag it as June myself. If they're tagging art as John, I tag it as John. I have no way of knowing what their idea of the sex of this character is, and I'd find it weird to "correct" them, when they could very easily just be drawing a headcanon they've had for years and found major comfort and gender euphoria in. I don't know their life.

I think the way people have been using June's confirmation- not canonization to HS^2/HS:BC, she hasn't appeared yet- as a way to be transphobic in any direction is vile. I think if you use June as a way to be transmisogynistic, you're an asshole and a transphobe. If you use June as a way to be bigoted against trans men, you're an asshole and a transphobe. If you're finding a way to use it to be bigoted against nonbinary or multigender people, you're an asshole and a transphobe. I would sure fucking hope this isn't a controversial statement. There's no good reason to be a bigot. A disagreement over gender headcanons is an especially pathetic reason to reduce yourself to transphobia. Come the fuck on now.

More Discussion Under the Cut:

Miscellaneous thoughts include... 1.) She is not canon to Homestuck proper. This is because every piece of Homestuck media outside of literal Homestuck (2009) itself has been very open about the fact that they are not canon to Homestuck (2009). Homestuck (2009) is canon to Homestuck (2009), and nothing else is. HS:BC is canon to itself. HS^2 is canon to itself. The Homestuck Epilogues is canon to itself. Pesterquest is canon to itself. Hiveswap is canon to itself. They are not canon to Homestuck, though. These aren't condemnations of these pieces of media, nor is it a reduction of the meaning of this form of the character to people, it just needs to be stated that they're not canon to Homestuck. This is by design, and is also a well advertised fact about them. 2.) She was not "always intended", or "always canon". I see a lot of people say that June was being intentionally alluded to since 2009, and... That's just... Really blatantly not the case? Extremely magical thinking happening there. I think if June was supposed to happen in Homestuck, and was allegedly intentionally alluded to in Homestuck constantly... She would have happened in Homestuck? There's nothing wrong with an author getting asked to make a certain gender headcanon canon and then, you know, canonizing it because they think it's cool, nor is there anything wrong with an author realizing that an interesting arc for a specific character would be a gender transition in sequel material. It doesn't have to always be a "This was all planned from the start" situation. As someone who is a writer... That's genuinely just not really how writing works, and it really isn't where Hussie's politics were at during the time. Hell, I know a lot of genders, pronouns, sexualities, races, ethnicities, religions, and disability statuses were changed throughout me working on my own writing projects. They weren't all "Planned from the Start", and there's nothing wrong with that. 3.) June fans, I am so sorry. You all deserve so much more than these years of J.K. Rowling-tier """canonization""". This was said to be something that was totally going to happen... On Twitter... Through a magical Toblerone wish... Several years ago. And nothing has really come of it since. Not even a hint!! That sucks so much. 4.) Not to be blunt, but some people are really misogynistic about her. Transitioning doesn't completely change your personality. It doesn't fix all of your problems and flaws. Growing into femininity doesn't magically make you a ditzy bimbo girly girl whose only personality traits are Cute, Stupid, and Female. That's just fucking weird, dog. The way some people treat her status as a woman reads very... Caliborn-esque...

[velvetvexations]

i feel really selfish saying this, but i really wish there were more general trans movies with characters who aren't trans women. like, i'm really glad that they're there and there should be more, but on the other hand, its kinda all thats there? obviously there ARE movies like this, but 9 times out of 10 when there's a recommendation to go see a trans movie, its either a trans women or a character heavily implied to be a trans women there. and i'm really glad those movies are there! but i'd just wish there could be a big discussion about movie and there would be a trans man or a nonbinary person representing the community.

(this also goes for other types of media too)

i sent an ask complaining about how the majority of trans movies that the community talks mainly show trans women and i wanna take that back cause a lot of those media are shitty towards trans women. i dont think its fair to complain about that when those media are awful towards trans women. i apologize

anon of the trans ppl in media asks you can publish them! i retracted it cause im kinda emotional rn and i couldn't really remember if i was being fair or shitty

I think what you're forgetting, anon, is that while trans women are depicted badly in a lot of places - less so over the years, people mainly reference things from the previous century - there's still way more positive transfem rep than there is of anything for transmascs, and that doesn't mean transfems have it better, but as always hyper-visibility and invisibility are two sides of the same coin. It's okay for invisibility to not feel good. There should indeed be more media about transmascs.

Now I'm finally doing that. This year I made my first ever hand sewn cosplay. There are definitely mistakes, but it's pretty sturdy and I can't express the sheer sense of pride I got from wearing something I sewed myself. There are some things I wanna tweak on it, like I must have made a mistake when measuring the waistband because it's WAY too thick. But it's functional, it's accurate, and it even has a zipper! It was expensive because of course for my first ever sewing project I picked a character with a pleated skirt (you need 3x your waist in fabric and im fat which definitely adds up lmao, plus i got the fabric custom printed from a print-on-demand company) and the pleats took forever to do. But I'm so so so proud of it. I'm looking into armor crafting with EVA foam for a future cosplay, and it's intimidating but I'm really excited at the idea of working with it. I've seen so many amazing armor sets and props made with EVA foam and I can't wait to make my own. I'm thinking I'm gonna cosplay Maple from BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, So I'll Max Out My Defense.. Then again, that might be jumping off straight into the deep end again like I did for the last cosplay since she has a GIANT shield. At least I'm sticking to her main outfit, not the one with giant angel wings lmao. I may have watched several videos on wing crafting but even I'm not brazen (or stupid) enough to try making those for only my second real cosplay lmao. Anyway this has been your regularly unscheduled cosplay info dump. Thank you for tuning in, we'll see you next time!

Ambitious! I hope it all turns out great, it sounds like a lot of big projects to have on one's plate.

My opinions are a lot more nuanced than most takes on 'shipcourse' that ive seen, but I've gathered that im generally included when people say 'proshippers dni' based on how people define it in said dnis. I'm not gonna purposefully interact with someone who obviously doesn't want me there. But that makes it frustratingly difficult to find people to follow who also believe in things like transandrophobia. It happens all too often that I find someone with great takes and go to follow them, then see that they have a dni that includes me. It especially sucks when all the other things in the dni are things like "racist" and "transphobic". I'm sorry, but I just can't see having a nuanced opinion on fiction as being on the same level as being a bigot towards others. It sucks to be put on the same level as actively hateful people because I have concerns about the normalization of censorship. I believe that when you open the doors to censoring media because of morals, you set the groundwork for things like the Hays Code. Censorship has always been disproportionately used to silence marginalized groups. I just can't get behind that, no matter how 'noble' the intentions behind it might be.

If it helps any, I'm also what one would call a pro-shipper but find the word itself beneath my dignity because I think it's ridiculous it's an argument in the first place.

[red-hibiscus]

BL characters I relate to most as a mentally ill gay trans man

Daisy from SCOY

Surprising no one, I, a trans person, relate to Daisy. They're outgoing and seemingly don't care about how people view them. They know they're visibly queer and they normally don't mind it (from what I see). But at the end of the day, society does affect them. They're hesitant to believe Touch genuinely cares and is attracted to them despite Touch being an absolute green flag who is very direct with his flirting. Even after, Daisy was worried about people would view their relationship with Touch and tried to become Day, a more masculine version of themself. Impossible of course and they broke down emotionally exhausted. I feel that so much because I also don't believe it when people, especially cis gay men, are attracted to me. I've caught myself trying to change my behavior to be more masculine (as I'm a bit on the nonbinary side of things). It's bad, but I know how Daisy feels.

Wang from 180 Degree Longtitude Passes Through Us

As a 26 year old trans gay immigrant in a country that doesn't want me, I have a shit ton of pent up anger that has been building up since I was a child. I've calmed down over the years, but I can still be stubborn and argumentative when it comes to politics and human rights. I'm also a linguistics major, thus an academic.

Wang is so much like myself and like a lot of people around me. Like me and Wang would be close friends irl I know it. We're young and stubborn. We're angry at the older conservative people around us, too much sometimes. So he lashes out. Many of his points are correct, but they're not hitting. Partially because the people he's talking to don't want to change, partially because he himself is stubborn. People like us yearn to be free, to be ourselves and to learn. Wang has a passion for the humanities like myself. Yet he knows society really only cares about STEM fields. I've compromised and am getting a master's in computational linguistics. Even though really I just wanna learn as much as I can about sociolinguistics.

Karl from Gaya Sa Pelikula

I haven't watched GSP in a hot minute, but I do remember feeling very seen.

So in the show Karl has his gay awakening, tries to internally and externally deny it, and eventually let himself be free to feel everything and be himself (at least in private).

Now I didn't have a gay awakening, but I guess you could say a trans awakening. In middle school I felt different, I suspected maybe some flavor of LGBT, but wasn't sure and I was too afraid to think about it too hard. Come high school I secretly wanted to join the LGBT club, but was afraid. Then I was essentially adopted into the LGBT club and dragged into the friend group during lunch because I was a loner like everyone else. At the time still "identified" as a cishet woman. As time went on people started to suspect. "Why are you in the club?", "why did you cut your hair", "why do you dress like that?", "your voice is low for a girl haha", etc. Much like Karl, I was not ready for any of that. I was still struggling to make sense of it all and come to terms with it myself. So I kept rejecting it and every time it hurt.

I kept rejecting it until I couldn't. Until someone I resonated with so much came out as trans and it clicked. My trans awakening was complete. I became able to be more myself, but only in private safe spaces. I wouldn't come out and live as a man until after high school and it was terrifying.

Adachi from Cherry Magic

I've only watched the jpn ver, but I'm sure that character remains the same.

I'm anxious and used to be quite shy. Now I'm just awkward. I'm really bad at seeing the good in myself cause I feel like I'm wandering around aimlessly in life. Not that impressive. So when people compliment me I think "haha they're just being nice" (refer back to me never believing people are actually attracted to me).

Adachi is the exact same. He has the same routine every day. Just going through the motions and not really thinking anything of himself. But then Kurosawa comes along and the ability to read minds. Adachi then realizes "wait, someone I respect so much actually loves me? And thinks I have a lot of good qualities? Makes me wanna cry." And me too Adachi. I'd be the same.

Jared from 7 Days Before Valentine

Jared, my precious baby, is described throughout the show as kind, but weird and different. We later learn that he has dyslexia, and honestly he seems to be somewhere on the autism spectrum. Even if he isn't, he has a behavioral difference people pick up on and then shun him for it.

I too was seen as kinda weird growing up. Maybe it was the autism, maybe it was the social anxiety. Probably both. And then of course there was the gnawing feeling that I was different than everyone else and it turns out it's because I'm trans.

So when Jared said that people didn't talk to him because he wasn't like other people it hit me so hard.

Myungha from Love For Love's Sake

The whole show is sad yet cathartic for me. Myungha is depressed yet spends his time comforting others. He has a hard time loving and receiving love. If you give him a fictional character who is very similar to him he will love them and see all the good, but he doesn't see it in himself. Relatable as hell.

I have an incredibly hard time being honest with my emotions and letting people love me and express attraction. Mostly in a romantic/sexual context. Dpdr is cockblocking me. So dating is hell, but I'm lonely and yearn to not be.

Probably if you put me in a situation like Myungha I'd also go "yep, that right there is my blorbo" and then not realize that all the things I like about the person and make me care about them are things I have.

Honorable mentions:

Both Akk and Ayan from The Eclipse

Nozue from Old Fashion Cupcake

Oh-Aew from I Told Sunset About You

Cher from A Boss and a Babe (I headcannon him as autistic)

Amber from DNA Says Love You

Uea from Bed Friend

Mitsuomi from Restart After Come Back Home

Jao from SCOY

Maybe I'll make another post for those later

[denimbex1986]

'It should come as no surprise that Russell T Davies, the man behind Queer As Folk, the one who first made Doctor Who tangibly gay, has returned to the franchise with what might be its queerest outing yet. But even we were surprised by quite how integral LGBTQ+ themes would be to the story this time around.

Much has been made of David Tennant and Catherine Tate's return, yet it's Yasmin Finney's brand-new character Rose who's at the heart of this Star Beast special.

Donna's daughter befriends The Meep first, and she's also the one who saves London when The Meep reveals itself to be evil. What's special about this is that it's Rose's trans identity specifically that proves key to her victory.

When we last saw her mother, Donna had absorbed some of the Doctor's energy, creating a 'metacrisis' that would have killed her if the Doctor had not erased her memories. But when she's reminded again of the Time Lord's existence in this latest episode, Donna survives intact, and that's because when she gave birth to Rose, she unknowingly split that energy between them, halving their potentially devastating impact.

As Donna's memories return, Rose's innate Timelord energy is then activated too, enabling her to stop Meep with newfound knowledge and abilities from her position on the ground.

Rose's non-binary identity stems from The Doctor's. (The show finally acknowledges them to be gender-fluid after they presented as both male and female over the course of the franchise). That means the source of Rose's power comes directly from her nature as a non-binary individual, positioning her as a hero because of her gender identity and not despite of it.

That's not to say Doctor Who shies away from the difficulties trans people face in real life. Earlier on in the same episode, bullies deadname Rose in the street and soon after, Donna's own mother, Sylvia, accidentally misgenders Rose as well, despite her good intentions.

Donna's response to all this? "I would burn down the world for you, darling," and honestly, that's how we feel after seeing some of the negative feedback these scenes have received online.

Despite scoring strong reviews from critics and the majority of fans, it seems not everyone is celebrating Doctor Who's much-lauded return.

On Rotten Tomatoes, trolls are review-bombing the episode, bringing the audience score down to 41%, which is a huge contrast from the critics rating of 89%. Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and the episode won't be to everyone's tastes, but when comments suggest the show 'needs to stop pushing talk of pronouns onto kids', it's safe to say most of these opinions are grounded in hate and ignorance.

Imagine being shocked that a show about an alien who regularly changes their body and gender would dare acknowledge such concepts?

In the days following the special, a hashtag named #RIPDoctorWho continued this backlash on X/Twitter, to which Doctor Who casting director Andy Pryor said the following:

"Just stopped by to say that on @bbcdoctor who (or any of our work) we don't work hard to cast inclusively for publicity. We do it because we like stories. & stories should speak to all of us & include all of us. And if one person feels a little less alone, then."

With more queer cast members on the way, including Neil Patrick Harris as the villainous Toymaker and Ncuti Gatwa as the new face of The Doctor himself, the future of Doctor Who is looking queerer by the day.

But it's not just the future that's queer.

To those who baulk at more inclusivity in future seasons, we can't help but wonder: What show have you been watching this whole time? Because Doctor Who is super queer — and it always has been.

Yes, even before Jack Harkness slapped a guy's arse or Bill Potts fell for a puddle named Heather, the Classic era channeled queerness with how it defied the establishment and stood up for those who need it most. It's hard to exaggerate how much stories like this resonated with LGBTQ+ people at a time when positive representation was almost non-existent on screen.

It's no wonder then that a sizeable chunk of Doctor Who's fandom identifies as queer, even if the show wasn't able to address LGBTQ+ fans directly until (queer lifelong fan) Russell T Davies regenerated the franchise in 2005.

But now, all these years later, The Star Beast ushers in a new chapter for Doctor Who where the show can finally live up to the inclusive ethos it's always striven for.

That's not to diminish the positive steps other showrunners have taken in the interim. 2015's 'Sleep No More' featured Doctor Who's first trans actress, Bethany Black, and season twelve's 'Praxeus' successfully flipped the 'Bury Your Gays' trope, although the less said about how season 13 handled #Thasmin the better.

And it's not like everything is suddenly perfect now. Rose's metacrisis abilities could feed into sci-fi tropes around trans/non-binary identities being considered "alien", plus the inclusion of Rose's deadname has garnered a mixed response from the trans community online.

While some argue this has given trolls the opportunity to use that name venomously against her character, others point out that transphobia is a reality the show shouldn't shy away from.

The moment when Rose calls the Doctor out for assuming Meep's pronouns might feel a bit-on-the-nose for some too, although if this kind of talk immediately heralds the end of the franchise for you, you might want to cast your mind back a few decades to 1972's 'The Curse of Peladon' where the Doctor and Jo discussed Alpha Centauri's pronouns at length.

But still, seeing trans and non-binary identities celebrated to this degree is very much welcome regardless, especially in a family show with such a huge fanbase like Doctor Who. This is the kind of storytelling that saves lives, trolls be damned.

And now, with the impending arrival of more trans actors and characters in Yasmin Finney's wake — including Jinkx Monsoon, Mary Malone and Pete MacHale — Doctor Who's next season promises to be more inclusive than ever before.

If you have a problem with that, remember that your hero, the good Doctor, would never discriminate against trans people, or any other marginalised group for that matter either. So why would you?'

[cardentist]

do you think that behemo's characterization in ec is transmisogynistic? he plays an important role, and the dynamic between him and levia is really interesting, but the barisol's child song has always made me a tad uncomfortable, since it plays into the violent crossdresser stereotype.

@thecyancat well !

firstly I want to say that everyone is entitled to how they feel about it, so I can't speak for anyone else. I don't want to say that nobody is Allowed to be uncomfortable with behemo's portrayal.

but ! I will say that I'm actually quite surprised to hear that! for a few reasons.

1: within the context of the song by itself (both in complete isolation and before we got further context about them later on in the series) behemo and levia are held up as The Same. they're alternate versions of the same person, one cis and one trans, and they're Both presented to potentially have violent tendencies. moreover, this impulse isn't Unique to them. it's directly connected to the disease Malice/HERs within the song, something that we're told affects Many Many people. (and something that we see affect many Characters throughout the story).

so even Just within the song itself, behemo is not singled out in his behavior at all. not between himself and levia, and not between him and other people.

2: we Do learn more about levia and behemo, and as we do we realize that we were Intentionally mislead about behemo. not that behemo is a perfectly moral character, but rather that while Levia wanted to destroy the world, Behemo had been explicitly trying to save it. to preserve all of humanity in the face of the literal end of the world, Three Times Over. there is no perfect character in evillious, everyone is a messy person. but behemo Tangibly caused a massive amount of good and had been actively trying to do so throughout the entire series. none of the characters would be alive without behemo.

"the transgender god is almost solely responsible for saving all of humanity" doesn't sound like a very transmisogynistic trope to me.

3: the events of the song are Intentionally ambiguous. we were lead to believe that behemo may have hurt someone in the song, because at the time we were supposed to see both him and levia as villains. but neither of them were in the end. and What, exactly, happened is left ambiguous.

that doesn't mean that I rule out that he might've hurt someone, but rather that what we learn about him as a person and his motivations as a character contradict it.

4: even if behemo Had turned out to be an unambiguously evil character, behemo isn't the only trans woman in the story. we Have another trans woman character who is Also central to the narrative, has been a major character longer than behemo has, and is an unambiguously good person. she even became a god herself and Also helped to save the world.

mothy has a tendency to make trans women lesbian goddesses.

5: and even if THAT hadn't been the case, behemo was introduced to a series absolutely full of violence. one of the very first songs has a character commit genocide out of jealousy, whereas behemo was only ever implied to have potentially murdered one person.

which circles back around to my original point, behemo wouldn't have been singled out as uniquely violent for being a trans person when he hasn't done anything worse than what the cis characters have done.

6: personally I actually really enjoy barisol's child, as it feels To Me like it's a story about being isolated for being different. we're Meant To Sympathize with behemo. which really resonated with me as a trans teenager when it came out.

evillious features that theme a lot, people lashing out because they themselves have been isolated hurt and othered. and it doesn't Excuse the behavior, but rather ties into the thesis statement of evillious, that is people are not inherently evil.

7: I do also think the popular video for the song has a translation that's a little skewed. I wouldn't say that it's Wrong necessarily, but it was based on a much older translation than what @pricechecktranslations has available, and was made with the Assumption that behemo was indeed a villain. so the wording is more awkward in places than it would be if, say, I made a subtitled video now.

[darkbluekies]

Hello there! It's good to be back, didn't expect to be gone for like I think two whole weeks or three but oh well and hmm! Let's see if you're right about that! I love him a lot and he is, in fact my darling but I do have a trait in me that he would dislike (greatly, even.)

Silas:

Male Yandere characters [most to least]

Pros — Obedient ((just like you, I'm also terrified.)) a introvert and likes to be in my room 24/7 .. would enjoy being in his house more if provided an art room, also I hate being in pain too and I think I'd have a heart attack if I ever tried to escape.

Cons — I have anger issues and get overwhelmed easily+ other mental health problems like my BPD, I might split on him [ a term where people with BPD can only see white ((good)) or black ((bad)) and not in the grayish area or the in-between of good and bad.)) and that probably might anger him and be sent to the basement ☠️ and I hate pain so much so I'd probably get a mental breakdown and start cursing at him —

Dr Kry: ((suprised he's second?? Unless..))

Pros — I have a lot of similarities with him > loves cooking, gardening, light exercise, reading books and because he's a doctor and my dream job is to be a psychiatrist, I would probably rant to him about the things I've studied and accomplished with my major.

Cons — unless he's giving my break a body and be able to do house chores for some entertainment and stimulation, I am extremely defiant and I don't like really like someone treating me like a hopeless, dumb doll. I don't consider myself smart but I don't wanna be treated like I'm some dumb guy 😭 I'd only love him truly if he doesn't continue poisoning me and treating me like a naive, hopeless doll.

Would still love him, from afar that is, anyone being his darling and being defiant, just goodluck to y'all 😭

King Edmund: [ platonic ]

Pros — you mentioned her shows more of his human side and is less yandere-ish with male readers, I suppose that's the con, interested in his kingdoms history and I guess... We could possibly be friends?? However,

Cons — I am terrified of him. I don't know if it's any different with male readers but if he ends up killing someone because of me, I would consider my friendship with him. I do not wanna be friends with an unstable guy 😭

If he doesn't, well.. when he gets a wife, I'll probably guide him with his relationship and if that gets me killed, could be the best ending because would he even let go of a male reader??😭 Unsure, I don't really read his stories as often as the other male characters

Female characters [ most to least , also platonic since I'm attracted to men. ]

Hedwig:

Pros — I feel like I'd be the safest with her out of all yanderes, I would love being spoiled by her ((I'll likely get uncomfortable at first but would get used to it.)) and having a friend around with me

Cons — my social battery tends to drain easily and with how clingy she is, it'll drain me more. I also hate prioritizing other people when my social battery is this low unless it's urgent/important (like me being concerned for a friend or so due to several reasons like mental health or my job.) so if I was forced to put my attention towards her, I would get really annoyed and be a bit more forward.

Jerry:

Cons — ...I don't think there's any pros for me, in fact, she's the one I actually fear the most. I wonder if she'd treat me differently if she knows I'm trans, as in ftm, like treating me softer compared to cis guys because I understand being a woman is hard.. especially the periods, god. Her aggressive humors scares me, a lot and if she shows me what she does while working, I wouldn't take it well and disassociate and if I were to form some unhealthy attachment with her or at least a bond, my BPD would get triggered due to how she shows her love and I would split on her 24/7 thinking she hates me and wants me dead.

Well, that took quite the time to write. Let me know if you need more information on BPD, I don't think I wrote it well, it's... 4 am for me and my eyes are as dry as the sahara dessert. I need to use my glasses more when I'm not going out somewhere.

—🌊

I am surprised that he is second not going to lie lmao, i really thought that he would be your number one!

it's so interesting to read and see how different people fit the different yanderes since Y/N is more of their own character rather than ourselves haha, it puts things in another perspective! I liked to read this <3333

Edmund isn't less yandere with men, just in a friend way. Like "you are my friend only I will not share you with anyone else, you can only have me as your best friend" and will not accept his best friend spending time with anyone but him, wanting Edmund to be his only friend, kind of thing. He is just as controlling, just as entitled. Be sure that Edmund wouldn't kill any darling, platonic or romantic! You will stay with him until the end of time because you are the only one that knows his real side :D

As for Jerry, I can say that she is the number one OC when it comes to trans/nonbinary etc things. She is the least judging, most understanding. She would most likely treat you like she treats all guys so be prepared for some sudden playfights :D

[astralcities]

I think the whole op post is really in response to this Side Discourse TM about how trans masc headcanons of men are seen as stupid and shallow, and conversely trans masc headcanons of women are seen as anti feminist or misogynistic, both I've seen in fandom.

I actually follow the person whose tags you screenshoted, I thought the tags were poorly worded at the time tbh but their blog generally talks about a rarely seen perspective on trans masc issues so I brushed it off as just that, poorly worded.

But I don't understand your idea/belief/concept (?) that someone would hate women in fiction so much that they would turn them into trans men. Do you think people Actually do that? Like there's some secret group of misogynistic trans men who hates women so much they make them men so they'll like them better (???) I don't mean this accusatorially- it just seems like you think of trans-masculinity as inherently less feminist or anti-patriarchal than cis-feminity

(sorry for clogging your asks - I'm a trans guy who actually wants rational discussions and I can rarely find them. Also, that wasn't my ask, but Mulan is totally a trans guy.)

you're fine; i appreciate you being mostly polite about this because i've gotten some evil ass anons in the past and am nawwwt in the mood to be psychoanalyzed tee bee aich. anyway i don't think either cis femininity or trans masculinity are inherently feminist or anti patriarchal because they are gender identities not ideological stances. i think women are also like. the primary targets of misogyny, though, which is why the majority of what i talk about feminism wise revolves around cis & trans women. i'm not really sure where you got the idea that i believe otherwise i also am not super sure how you arrived at the conclusion that i believe there's a secret shadow gang of trans men who hate women and are acting on this by Evilly Transitioning Characters. i think there are a lot of deeply misogynistic trans men who are pretty open about how much they dislike femininity though and how little they care for women in fiction and in other areas. i think where we're missing each other is that i'm talking about this happening in a largely subtle unconscious way. actions have implications and your subconscious feelings can bleed into what you do. that was the point of that giant ass essay i posted! like. not that the people who make trans masc headcanons for fictional women are going "god i fucking hate women i need to trans them all rn so i can breathe easy" but that That Specific Post was pretty obviously to provoke people, it mentioned female characters for a Reason, the tags were-at the very very very least–poorly worded, people are calling me a terf for disliking it, and it has a notes section full of people acting like women have too much representation and it's a robin-hood style act of Good Will to take from the rich (women) and give to the poor (trans mascs). what doesn't disprove this at all is that i had multiple people show up in my notes–and i'm sincerely hoping this wasn't you–deliberately try to upset me by going "all your fave girls are men now ehehehe". what was the purpose of that? what's the implication of mocking a trans lesbian like that? again, why the emphasis on Girls and not Characters? why not even Cis Girls? was the implication of Turning A Trans Woman Into A Man not thought of? was it thought of and discarded? do people genuinely think women are represented well in fiction? even if it wasn't a conscious thing i think there's pretty clear misogyny in doing all that. like. even if it seems silly and #notthatdeep actions don't exist in a vacuum also. a little gauche and odd to see a post where i was like "i really don't like taking a story about a woman who masqueraded as a man in a deeply sexist environment just to save her father's life & then return to being feminine afterward and making it a transmasculine narrative" and feel the need to tack that onto your msg. by literally all measures you and the other anons tn have been the nicest thus far and i'm a little frustrated to get disappointed @ da end like that lol

[liam-an-siorc]

Queerness in Ghosts

Ghosts is a show on the BBC about 9 ghosts who inhabit a house inherited by a young couple alison and mike, alison is pushed out the window by one of the ghosts in attempt to get rid of her and mike but she returns to the house with the new ability of seeing and hearing ghosts the show then turns into a beautiful found family story.

This show being a found family show already makes it likely to gain a large queer audience but then we have queer characters also, the interesting thing about the queer characters in this show is only one of them is explicitly canon which is The Captain but then there are others who would be considered canon despite it never being said with a label an example of this is Kitty, Kitty is an asexual character this is shown in her character through the whole show and then basically confirmed in the podcast with them saying she is “uninterested in sex” (maybe not exact words said) but it is never explicitly said that she is asexual and as far as i can see she was not written with this intention and she is still a well written asexual character. Another example of this is Robin being polyamorus, him explaining that in the episode Perfect day was very normal, casual representation which is cool. While these are the more canon characters this is not all there are many more characters widely accepted by the fandom to be queer the main one (of many) i’d say is Mary, and this is because of Mary's relationship with Annie a ghosts that used to be at Button house before moving on this relationship is considered by the majority of the fandom to be romantic but there has been no confirmation of this even so it still very much feels like a romantic relationship and is a good and very loved one within the show. Now there will always be many queer headcanons with shows especially one with a big queer audience but another one that is quite agreed on for no reason in particular but that is Trans Pat, Pat being a trans man I do not know were this came from but i do remember one day thinking i wished there was a trans character and then thinking Pat would make the most sense because he’s one of the more recent ghosts only to see a month later how common that headcanon was. 

Which brings me onto the fandom. As i said the fact that a big theme in the show is found family that is going to attract more queer people into the fandom but it is a very queer fandom i have hardly met any not queer people in the ghosts fandom, the ghosts fandom is a very nice fandom its very welcoming and accepting just like the show. This is another reason why there are so many queer centered headcanons because you know its a safe place for that and you won’t get shouted at for simply suggesting a character someone likes might be queer. Note: Not reddit, steer clear or reddit.

The Captain the explicitly canon queer character of the show. Most people love him and think he’s good representation a very small portion do not but that is a separate essay i’ll direct you to that if you want, So the captain was a ww2 captain who when he was stationed at button house fell in love with his second in command havers, who left for the north Africa front and then a few years later after he had been stationed somewhere else for a while he snuck into a venturens event that havers was at he got questioned at this event for not being a veturen which led to him having a heart attack and dying. This scene revealed not only the captain's death but his name as well, the captain who was referred to only by his rank the entire shows name was revealed when it was said by the man he loved as he was dying, this scene also confirmed the feelings were mutual between Havers and the Captain and revealed that the Captains swagger stick he had the whole show belonged to Havers. The Captain's death was tragic as is and to talk about how tragically queer it is is to talk about everything because that is one thing i like about the captain is that him being gay can absolutely not be separated from the character and you having the same character he died trying to keep a secret, he went into that event and in the moment made the admittedly stupid decision to steal the war ribbons to blend in now we know how important the Captains military identity is to him and this what he did is a big offense in the military and he got caught and they all though he was doing something terrible and of course he could not explain why because it was illegal it was better for everyone to think he did this big awful thing of pretending to be a veteran then them knowing he was in love with a man and then when he was dying when his focus was only on havers and not all the faces staring horribly down at him and he could tell havers at least and this whole tragic and romantic scene was happening in the presence of all these people and it had to be so secret and so subtly as many queer relationships through history had to be. The hands in this scene are something to pay attention to because they really showed the thoughts, The Captain trying to touch havers face and him redirecting his hands over to the swagger stick holding his hand as much as possible and giving him something in his last moments which was the same kind of order as The Captain trying to say “i love you” havers saying “i know” instead and then the names, the names where the most close they were able to get because of who they where, it was little but it was meaningful and it was beautiful. The Captain is very repressed with his sexuality he only comes out on the third last episode but i still think he’s good representation, all queer people deserve to be represented not just the now ones who are out and proud, The Captain is a queer character made for queer people every reference to queer culture they make is fitting and researched they do a good job on showing parts of queer culture in him without making him just fully a stereotype. The Captain is a great character and hes a wonderful representation of queer people through history which brings me to the next point queer people through history.

Historical shows with queer representation are always great because it shows how we always existed we have Poly Pan cavemen, Stuart sappics, A Georgian Asexual, lots of bi people, Aromatic Victorian, Gay ww2 soldier, etc (disclaimer a lot of those are headcanons but you see the point) I love how ghosts shows this especially with the Redding Weddy and Perfect day it was like a little loop of gay relationships we had in Redding Weddy because of the bomb that the captain buried because of the man he was in love with that exploding and making the garden look beautiful became the reason that two future gays decided to get married at button house and then on the day when it all started going wrong the past gays stepped in and helped the wedding go ahead in the room where the captain died with the man he was in love with two people who are queer now in the future get to get married in a more accepting time in the same room with the ghosts of those people present, and then the people at the party dancing with the ghosts, dancing my queer self and a gay wedding with gay ghosts that’s just amazing and beutiful. So yes I love how ghosts shows how queer people have always existed and will not go away.

Found family, again this is what give it’s apert from the very queer coded characters such a queer audience. Found family means a lot to a lot of queer people because often the family they find can be more accepting then there biological family which is sad but it’s also beautiful ghosts shows this in a queer way and not it shows Alison finding a new family after her parents who died and then it shows all the ghosts who where not accepted as who they are or in there place or family who now have a new family who will love them no matter any of that and even though it’s not the typical family it’s still family it’s still loving and it’s still great. 

The end, I wroth this very quickly I’m so sorry I had planned to write like this all of June and just frogot/didn’t have time some notes now when I say “explicitly canon” I mean that they are a character who they said it like “yes he is gay” like they did not say “yes she is asexual” but she is so that’s why I’m saying that that’s canon and caption who was said to be “yes his is gay” is explicitly canon also I’m  ignoring the finale that’s messing up my found family and it can go away. If anything is missed I’m very sorry and sorry for the whole big thing about the captain ik this was not about him but the whole of ghosts but I still did want to talk about his death and then just briefly about him, I do have more in-depth stuff about him as queer representation on my page if you would like to see that. Okay goodbye happy pride 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

got it posted 40 minutes before pride month ended yess