#fantasy humour

[it-happened-once-in-a-meme]

Incorrect Gilderoy Lockhart Quote

Severus Snape: *walks into the room*

Gilderoy Lockhart, back turned to him: My my, Minerva! To what do I owe the visit? Don't worry, my foresight is extremely difficult to have. To be perfectly honest, the first people I did that with weren't y- *turns around*

Gilderoy: Oh.

Severus: Oh indeed.

Gilderoy: Two guests at once, Minerva must be joining us in the future.

Severus: No, she won't.

Gilderoy: If only we wait a little-

Severus: She left for Hogsmeade five minutes ago.

Gilderoy: Then she must have forgotton something.

Severus: As have you.

Gilderoy: Are you insinuating that my foresight has become weaker?

Severus: No, of course not. When would it ever have been good?

Gilderoy: Now you're mocking me, old friend. But don't worry, I will prove it to you- Ah, look, there she is! *Grins*

Severus: *Becomes extremely pale even though he knows that it has to be a coincidence* *Opens his eyes* Ugh-that cat is white, for Merlin's sake, Gilderoy! And way too young!

Gilderoy to the cat: Looking not over fourty *winks*. I know, I know. New haircolors do that for you.

[Later]

Minerva: He did what?! *Starts laughing uncontrollably* Should I change my haircolor? *laughs*

[im-a-sentient-magic-carpet]

Human: What are you doing

Giraffe centaur, trying to get a coin from underneath a vending machine: my best.

[joncronshawauthor]

How Fantasy Writers Can Draw Inspiration from Red Dwarf

In the boundless realm of fantasy literature, where authors conjure tales from the depths of their imagination, inspiration can emerge from a myriad of sources, including the world of science fiction comedy. “Red Dwarf,” a beloved sci-fi sitcom known for its unique blend of humour, character-driven stories, and speculative science, offers a wealth of creative insights for fantasy authors. Let���s…

[it-happened-once-in-a-meme]

You after Edward saved you from, I don't know, the danger of schools where students drive cars: Wow, you saved me.

Edward, desperately trying to give you hints: The way Carl McNyle saved Al..ysha from uhm... Emm..miette's pet bat in The Sparkling Woods Tale? *Proceeds to tell a story that has way too much in common with your own story but isn't*

Fast forward to:

You, after the safety checkup in the hospital: *passes by someone with the name tag "Dr. Carlisle Cullen*

Carlisle to one of his colleagues: No, no, Edward's doing fine. By the way, my other son Emmett told me this fascinating story-

You: *Le realization* Edward, you little shit. Where are you hiding the secret forrest with pet bats, and what does it have to do with you being able to read minds?

if i wrote twilight there'd be a kid in edward's class who Zones The Fuck Out and daydreams about a story they want to write, and edward would just tune in to watch like a tv show when he's bored in class and he gets genuinely invested and eventually he's like "i know EXACTLY how they can fix this plot hole that's bothering them but how can i tell them that when they don't KNOW i'm their first beta reader"

[soysaucetime]

elpis adventures

[his-heart-hymns]

I wish we were pressed flowers on the same page.

-Unknown

Ab ke ham bichhde to shayad kabhi khvabo me mile

jis tarah sukhe hue phuul kitabo me mile.

-Ahmed Faraz

[troythecatfish]

[rahuratna]

Hello, friends and moots!

This is going to be a tough November and December for me work-wise, and so ...

I have fully committed to writing the most self-indulgent JJK Fantasy AU detective agency, replete with copious amounts of world building and mystery-solving. It's going to help me take my mind off the slog, with what comes most naturally to me. I will be writing and updating with slow deliberation in my spare time, now that I have the concept and draft!✍

The first chapter is coming soon, so let me introduce:

"Welcome, Visitor, to Jujutsu Guild Academy, tucked discreetly away in the rolling foothills of the Byre Veld Mountains. Our team of expert sorcerers, now misfits and outcasts from society, gather here to train their talented students, as well as use their exceptional skills to solve cases brought to them by those who know the true nature of the Guild ... much like yourself.

We invite you to place your case at their disposal. We guarantee that you won't be disappointed."

[skitarii-boi]

new year

same m-*i transform in to a tzaangor*

i guess not then

[bestlaidplansproductions]

Wishing you all a beautiful, murder-free holiday season from Jane, the imperiled main character of Save the Villainess!

Seasons greeting and remember - stay away from any suspicious male leads!

[whatsupmykentuckyfriedfuckers]

If you're reading this right now, and you are in a writing mood, get off this app right now and go write something. If you feel like you can write good things for a while and continue on with your WIP, then go do it. You could get some really good chapters or parts or whatever done on you story, and if you post, then the people that read it can be happy when they read your work.

If you're a writer, and you are in a writing mood, go write now, because you don't know the next time you will be in a mood like this. It will probably be another month.

[morkaischosen]

yaaaaay!

[witchlingcirce]

Kinda love how George DGAF abt how genes or DNA works at all writing ASOIAF. Like for the most part most forms of incest won’t have consequences on the kids, targs, Lannister incest. Like okay you go girl! Like are we not gonna talk about how Daenerys & Rhaenyra’s daughters were described as having dragon scales, like hello???

Desperately need to see George draw a Punnett square.

[fiction-quotes]

The wind howled. Lightning stabbed at the earth erratically, like an inefficient assassin. Thunder rolled back and forth across the dark, rain-lashed hills.

The night was as black as the inside of a cat. It was the kind of night, you could believe, on which gods moved men as though they were pawns on the chessboard of fate. In the middle of this elemental storm a fire gleamed among the dripping furze bushes like the madness in a weasel's eye. It illuminated three hunched figures. As the cauldron bubbled an eldritch voice shrieked: “When shall we three meet again?”

There was a pause.

Finally another voice said, in far more ordinary tones: “Well, I can do next Tuesday.”

  —  Wyrd Sisters (Terry Pratchett)

[troythecatfish]