#minerva mcgonagall incorrect quotes

[abouttimeoc]

[fafodill]

he strongly disagrees

[hpseeker99]

The Daily Prophet: Three people have reportedly broken into the Gringotts. McGonagall, scoffing: What idiots *Front cover on the daily prophet, showing Harry, Ron, and Hermione riding a dragon out of the building* McGonagall: Wait, those are my idiots

[jmwdoesthings]

(staff room, afternoon)

McGonagall: ... Why does Filius keep looking at you in such a strange manner, Severus?

Snape: (sipping coffee whilst marking) I don't know what you mean.

McGonagall: Why, he keeps glancing at you, as though he's afraid you're about to drop dead any moment.

Snape:

Snape: ...I may or may not have informed Filius about the function of the liver and lungs yesterday evening.

McGonagall:

McGonagall: ...I don't see how that-

Snape: I told him that my organs must be practically decomposed from myself breathing in toxic fumes and testing potions since an adolescent. Then, of course, as Potion's Master. I suspect that from that moment onwards, Filius wholeheartedly believes that I am mortally ill.

McGonagall:

Snape: What? Did you really think repeatedly making poisons and draughts of living death isn't going to have consequences on my health?

Snape: *coughs loudly*

Flitwick: (watery sniffling from behind piles of marking at the other table)

Snape: *smirks*

McGonagall:

McGonagall: You are despicable.

Snape: I am completely and utterly hilarious, Minerva.

[percyweasleyapologist]

Mcgonagall, rubbing her temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarette.

Penelope: But Professor, we don't smoke.

McGonagall: Cut the crap, Penelope. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

McGonagall: *points at Percy* One! *points at Marcus* Two! *points at Oliver* Three! *points at Audrey* Four! *points at Penelope* Five!

McGonagall: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarette between these two fingers!

Percy: *puts a cigarette in McGonagall's hand*

McGonagall: Thank you. ...Light?

Academic Disaster: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

[daddiesdrarryy]

Sirius, James, Peter: Hey! Moony!

Remus: Hey, you’re here!

McGonagall: Merlin. Mr. Lupin, I said you could invite one friend to Professor Slughorn’s party. Only one

Remus: Professor, you know they don’t come separately

Sirius: Yeah, we’re pack animals, Professor

[severussnapemylove]

(Sev and Reader walking into the Orders headquarters during the first wizarding war, looking tired and dishevelled)

Y/N; “It’s okay everyone. Voldermort’s gone."

Dumbledore; (shocked) “What do you mean “gone”????”

Severus; “Well, we realised that he’d been so focused on the wizarding world that he’d severely underestimated the risk of muggle style attacks.”

Y/N; “So Sev shot him in the head with a muggle revolver.”

McGonagall; “You did what??? And that worked???”

Severus; “Yes, it seems that even the Dark Lord needs an intact brain to live.”

Y/N; “And to make sure he stays dead, until all his Horcruxes can be tracked down and destroyed..."

Slughorn; (turning pale) "Horcruxes????"

Y/N; "...We cut the body into little pieces, set the pieces in concrete and dropped the concrete blocks in various bodies of deep water around the world.”

(Speechless, kind of terrified looks from the rest of the room)

Y/N; “So anyway, war’s over, you’re all welcome. Sev and I are going on a very long holiday now. Seeya."

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Sirius , to the Marauders , lying facedown on his bed, regretting everything: and then I called her Mom

McGonagall, talking to Poppy, on the verge of tears: and then he called me Mom

[rudamaruda520]

[the prefects meeting]

McGonagall: and most importantly- prevent any prohibited activities. Can I count on you?

Remus, 'the drug dealer' Lupin: Of course.

Lily, 'the quick snuck out to muggle London' Evans: Of course.

Pandora, 'the explosive constructor' Rosier: Of course.

Evan, 'the drug buyer' Rosier: Of course.

Emmeline, 'the beat the shit out of every bully' Vance: Of course.

[toujoursincorrect]

McGonagall: Alright, how are you two gonna explain yourselves?!

James: Um…

Sirius: Well I’m going to say verbally, because judging by your tone you might not be in the mood for the dance we’ve prepared.

[sayssnape]

minerva: i love watching severus when I'm having a bad day because no matter what kind of day I'm having, severus is having a worse one.

[abouttimeoc]

[mountainrusing]

McGonagall: I want to remind you that Hogwarts provides mental support to those of you who need it.

Sirius: Why does she always look at me when she says that?

James: She looks at me too.

Remus: Like a hawk.

Peter:

Peter: Because all of you are mentally fucked!!

Peter: And yes, in my experience, her gaze is rather intense.

[hpseeker99]

McGonagall: Ok so you hate Potter, now you hate Weasley. How many enemies do you have exactly? Snape, without hesitation: 37 Snape: It was 36, but then my bitch neighbor had a baby

[jmwdoesthings]

(Valentine's Day, as orchestrated by Lockhart)

Lockhart: (smugly) So, tell me, Professor Snape. What are your plans?

Snape: Plans.

Lockhart: Yes, for this evening. Surely, you must have a date.

Snape: I do.

McGonagall: ...???

Lockhart: Oh, really? Marvellous! I'll bet you've got quite a few things planned. Perhaps a candle-lit dinner, some music, all working up to a spectacular show of affection and ... passion?

Snape: (calmly) Not quite. I won't say the evening won't be eventful, though.

Lockhart: Indeed! My, you must be more experienced than you look, professor. Eventful... who would have thought? Not me.

McGonagall:

Snape: *sips wine*

Lockhart: ...So who is this date of yours you'll be so... "occupied" with?

Snape: *puts down goblet and swallows* Your mother.

[umbridgesshit]

mcgonagall when the marauders: fuuuuuck that is my circus… are those..?? yep.... those are my monkeys... goddammit