#exerting so much emotional energy

[hellxfireclub-archived]

Just some thoughts...

I think this incident that occurred is a good time for all of us to take a step back and perhaps reflect on how allow ourselves to get too attached to people that we don’t actually know, and likely will never meet. The truth is, you can never really know someone through the internet, rp, etc. Some of us get lucky and get to meet our online friends and they become wonderful people and IRL friends. Hell, this has happened with me more than once and I adore those who I’ve met and connected with through rp and have become a true, real life, tangible friend. 

But I think it’s a good idea to have a healthy amount of disconnect from the people on the other side of a screen, whom we’ve never met and may never meet. It’s easy to lie to people on the internet, easy to present oneself as something that you’re not. Most of the people I’ve met through rp are genuine and kind people, but that can’t be said for everyone. Maybe this way of approaching rp comes from my many years on Tumblr, maybe from the fact that I’m well into my 30s and I’ve seen a lot of shit, but the best thing anyone can do to protect themselves is to keep a health amount of...aloofness? I don’t know if that’s the right word or not but I’m going to roll with it for now. 

I adore my RP partners, but I’m also acutely aware of the fact that one day any of those I write with could suddenly disappear and never return, or that they could turn out to be someone other than who they presented themselves to be. Would that make me incredibly sad? Absolutely. Would I allow it to drag me down and live rent free in my head? No. This is just a hobby, after all. It doesn’t affect my life outside of Tumblr at all. It’s a level of separation I keep firmly in place and I think others would do well to practice that as well. 

So yes, I am annoyed and I do feel manipulated and it pisses me off. At the same time, I’m not going to let this ruin my rp experience because I won’t let them have that kind of control over me. I just won’t. Sorry. No one dictates my life, online or offline, but me. 

If you need to take some time to process this and work through your feels, absolutely that’s what you should do. But I do think that we do sometimes invest too much of ourselves into these almost parasocial-like relationships and it ends up becoming unhealthy. 

Don’t let other people control your life/experience. No one has that right but you.

[dykedvonte]

Fallout New Crashes

[ddarker-dreams]

what would make the husband rotation genuinely mad and would they act when theyre mad?? bad vibes for everyone

upsetting chrollo is an arduous endeavor.

he values control, whether it be over himself or others. creating the troupe would've been impossible if he was easily agitated. ironically, by muting his emotions for so long, he's set himself up for failure. when they do escape the fortress he built to contain them, they're wild. their repression drained any civility chrollo pretends to have.

regarding what it takes to get to this point... a third party revealing his criminal affiliations to you would do the trick. especially if the evidence they provide is irrefutable. chrollo isn't naïve, he's always been aware of the possibility. it'd be different if your efforts unmasked his identity. sure, he wouldn't be ecstatic, but he'd feel a hint of pride over your sleuthing capabilities. he almost considers it your right, in a weird way.

this sentiment doesn't extend to another's interference. they've inserted themselves into your relationship and warped your opinion of him. it's a violation, an intrusion. chrollo comes off as unusually detached when this information reaches him. he would've preferred you confront him, so he could control the narrative and do immediate damage control. with that plan dashed, his anger will simmer, until it can scald the one who tainted your perfectly fine relationship.

gojo satoru wants to be the center of your universe.

he's selfish, he isn't content with anything less than you in your entirety. he wants to be your partner, your best friend, your rival and confidant. he's cool with your friends and family (wow thanks gojo), since he knows that ultimately, you're both close in a way few can understand. shoko tells him at point blank that he's overdependent on you. he's aware, he just doesn't care to fix it. he's shameless enough to admit it as much without remorse.

for this reason, should someone capable of exerting influence over you stumble onto the scene, he would not be happy. megumi (kid or teen) remarks that he gets this 'creepy look', like he's pretending to be human. if he released a mere tendril of the cursed energy writhing inside him, it'd be enough to render most sorcerers comatose. his vibes become that abominable.

whether it be a former mentor, childhood friend, or some other role he can't fulfill for you himself — he wants to create as much distance between them and you as possible. fortunately for him, simply being himself is enough to repel most people. gojo inserts himself into your conversations until this person catches the hint. after knowing him for so long, you've grown immune to his questionable boundary crossing. he'll keep at it until they're scared off.

scaramouche gets angry with you for making him fall in love.

had his chest cavity not been empty, he would've clawed his heart out to avoid this harrowing feeling. the timidity, the vulnerability, oh, how he loathes it; loathes you for the spell you've placed him under! this resentment is, in truth, mostly directed at himself. shouldn't he have learned his lesson by now? how many times must he be chewed up and spit out before he stops wandering into the maw of emotional connection? he resolves himself to kill this... whatever it is you both share, before he's dragged through disappointment once again. he'll work himself up into a frenzy, all righteous anger and crackling bitterness—

—then your eyes light up at the sight of him, his name a warm exclamation on your tongue. in an instant, he's pacified, like he'd undergone a lobotomy. what a lovesick fool he is. you won't even let him fester in his negativity, you keep flitting about, earning his undivided attention. it's embarrassing how giddy he is around you (though he hides it beneath snark and condescension). when the interaction ends, he's left torn on what to do. all he knows is that he's running out of excuses to make this your fault.

blade's fury could slice through stars if you were ever hurt.

his mara is voracious until he returns every ounce of your pain tenfold. it's a scene from hell; rivers of blood, shredded limbs, piles of corpses tall enough to be mistaken for towers. in the heat of battle, he occasionally forgets where he is or why he's even doing this. then, all it takes is his mind's eye flashing the image of your face contorted in pain for his mania to blaze anew. you're precious. kind, warm, bestowing care upon him that he hadn't experienced in centuries. annihilation awaited anyone or anything that threatened you. he thinks death is too good for them, but it's the punishment he delivers best.

this explosive rage isn't finite. once his sword is deprived of living prey, he's forced to endure silence. entropy. an all-pervasive thought that you'd be better off with another. he never understood why you blessed him of all people with your affection. upon wiping his weapon clean, his reflection greets him. he scarcely looks human. drenched in viscera, eyes bloodshot and crazed. is this the man you love? what would you think, if you could see him now?

he almost wishes the fury would return. it's preferable to the hollowness he now faces.

[nayatarot777]

Lilith in Aries/1st house

this is intuitive astrology. meaning that i’m making these notes based on what i intuitively pick up about this astrological point being merged with these signs. take it with a grain of salt and understand that you might not relate to everything that i get from your placement 🖤

Astrology Masterlist

your anger, direct expressions of emotions (positive or negative), and assertion towards your needs/desires were rejected. now you come across as stoic/unreadable in first impressions or when you’re around people who you’re not entirely comfortable with (whether these people are complete strangers, family, friends, coworkers, etc).

your instincts were suppressed. this gives the energy of you acting on your impulses and being shunned and shamed for this - especially during your childhood. nobody tried to teach you healthy ways of dealing with them.

as a result of the suppression of your anger, you come across as calm (even in situations when you feel the complete opposite), until something tips you over the edge - leading to a drastically aggressive and (perhaps) violent nature. it’s years and years of bottled up anger spilling out.

lilith in aries/1st house always reminds me of the people who were shamed the most during their early years. you could’ve even had a parent who negatively reacted to you when you were just a baby due to your instincts to cry when you needed something (for example).

when you’re suppressing your lilith energy, you deal with chronic fatigue. this is because you struggle to just go after things in the moment that you want to take action. you stall yourself and then lose the impulse to do what you wanted to do in the first place.

^ this may also be the reason why you feel as though you can no longer feel true excitement about things.

you can swing from a complete lack of spontaneity to too much spontaneity to the point of self destruction. you were never taught how to merge your natural spontaneous nature with rational decision-making. people just told you that your rash actions were “bad” and never gave you advice about how to exert that energy in a healthy way.

you trigger boys/men (insecure + immature men) the most. because they’re threatened by the masculinity that they see in you - especially if you’re a woman or a gay man (someone who immature, ignorant men believe “should” have less masculinity than them). they automatically see that your strength and ability to defend yourself is stronger than theirs.

you either completely reject your anger or completely embrace it - but may struggle to express it in a healthy way if you haven’t yet integrated lilith into your personality.

may have experienced other people (especially boys, men, and/or your father) abusing you (physically or sexually). experiences of someone violating your body in some way due to their own weakness regarding not controlling their anger/instincts. the same exact shit that they shamed you for. you’re a reflection of everything that they are (that they’re ashamed of). but it’s easier to vilify someone else than to vilify themselves, right?

others of you have probably just experienced unnecessary aggression from those people.

you could also swing between extremes regarding expressing your sexuality. either completely suppressing it to avoid shame (as you’ve probably been shamed for expressing it before) or presenting yourself in a completely sexualised way as a source of rebellion towards the people who’d vilify you for it.

some people with this placement get their vitality through being shocking to people and riling people up. through triggering people - whether that’s purposefully or just through how they want to present themselves.

others try to avoid this in certain aspects (whether it’s through a lack of defending themselves, completely covering themselves up and dressing modestly, not expressing what they truly want to, etc) so that they don’t have to deal with people’s negative reactions. but people are still going to find an issue with your lack of expression. it’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. it always is with lilith.

when you finally embrace your lilith nature, people could perceive you as always looking angry or intimidating. especially in first impressions. this comes from lilith’s lesson that she learned earlier in life: that anytime someone views you as weak, they’ll assert their power and dominance over you. so you learn to become that way yourself: powerful and dominant.

^ when you finally drop this first layer that you meet people with, you’ll see people testing you. trying to overpower you after they’ve gotten to know you a little bit. they’ll mistake your gradually more open nature for you letting your guard down. they view you as weak in that moment. until you assert your defensive nature again to put them back in their place. they won’t try this with you at first, but as soon as they see an opening of - what they perceive to be - “a weakness”, they’ll try to dominate you. at this point, reasserting yourself is when they realise that they shouldn’t fuck with you again.

don’t let anyone get away with treating you like you’re able to be dominated. when you do, it’ll get worse. defend yourself. always. otherwise people will think that they can continue to overpower you. and the more you act like that type of behaviour is okay, the more you feel powerless. when you finally step into your power again, you’ll react in an extreme way to regain power from all of the times that you’ve felt disempowered due to that person. so don’t let it get to that point. stand on business when you need to. always 🗣️💯

^ and don’t mistake that for always being defensive. only bring that out when people are dumb enough to try you.

you may have also been shamed for focusing on yourself. called or treated like you were ‘selfish’ because of this. always being conditioned to never think of yourself and what you need. to just put others before you. that’s also another way that people drain your power and personal vitality. focus on yourself THE MOST. because when you don’t, people will constantly tug on your energy and start acting entitled to the energy that they know damn well you should be giving to yourself.

^ due to this, you’ll probably face negative reactions from people who feel entitled to being co-dependent on you when you finally decide that you want to focus on and prioritise yourself. fuck them. they benefited from you neglecting yourself and that’s why they’re mad that you’re putting in place boundaries. people expect you to forget about yourself too much. and they don’t take into consideration who you are as a person and what you need.

[alyrasturnz]

need a velvet ring fic from you

VELVET RING

❐ summary » matt harbors a deep love for y/n, a love that is both genuine and unwavering. yet, he is not alone in his affections; countless others vie for her attention, each trying to capture a piece of her heart.

❐ pairings » bsf!matt x singer!reader

❐ warnings » none...?

❐ a/n && w/c » yayayaay happy 1k! im posting the first three fics tonight and the rest tmr cause i just got home from the hospital and i am #exhausted  • 1.97k

you stumbled towards the backstage, your breath coming in ragged gasps, as beads of sweat traced intricate paths down the curve of your nape, mingling with the adrenaline that pulsed through your veins.

you seize the nearest bottle of water within your reach and, without a moment's hesitation, bring it to your lips, allowing the cool liquid to cascade down your parched throat in a desperate, unrestrained gulp.

you had just graced the stage of a sold-out stadium, a vast expanse filled with the energy of 70 thousand souls. the sheer magnitude of the crowd's roar still echoed in your ears, and exhaustion clung to you like a heavy cloak. tired to say the least, you felt every ounce of your being drained from the performance.

“y/n!” matt exclaimed, his face illuminated by a broad, beaming smile. as you turned your gaze towards him, you felt the warmth of his joy radiate through the air, compelling you to meet his eyes.

a radiant smile blossomed across your face as you set the water bottle down. with a surge of emotion, you sprinted towards him, your arms outstretched, and enveloped him in a heartfelt embrace.

“hi,” you manage to utter, your breath still coming in uneven gasps. as he gently rubbed your back, the soothing motion seemed to blend with the remnants of adrenaline coursing through your veins.

"you were incredible out there!" he exclaimed, slowly disentangling himself from the embrace. his eyes scanned you from head to toe, taking in every detail. "holy shit, you're drenched," he chuckled, the laughter bubbling up from deep within him.

“i am, aren’t i?” you giggle, your hand instinctively reaching for the nape of your neck. with a delicate motion, you swipe away the beads of sweat, feeling the cool relief against your skin.

“yeah, here,” he said, quickly grabbing the nearest towel within reach. he handed it to you with a gentle smile, watching as you wiped the sweat off, the fabric absorbing the remnants of your exertion.

“i’m fucking exhausted,” you muttered, feeling the weight of fatigue settling in. he threw an arm over your shoulders, the warmth of his touch grounding you as the two of you walked out of the backstage room, each step echoing the shared relief of a performance well done.

“me too. wanna crash at mine tonight?” he asked, his voice laced with a mix of exhaustion and tenderness, offering a sanctuary from the weariness that cloaked both of you.

“absolutely,” you say with a smile. just as you were about to exit, you inadvertently bumped into the artist who had been the opening act.

“hey! you did great tonight,” carlos said, his voice brimming with genuine admiration as you looked up at him, the intensity of his gaze reflecting the shared passion for the craft.

you smile, feeling the warmth of his compliment envelop you. "thanks, carlos! your set was amazing too. i loved that new song you performed."

carlos steps a bit closer, his eyes bright with excitement, the energy between you palpable. "oh, you noticed? that means a lot coming from you. maybe we could collaborate sometime? i think our styles would mesh really well."

your eyes light up at the idea, a spark of enthusiasm igniting within you. "i’d love that! it would be so much fun to create something together."

carlos grins, his pleasure evident as his eyes crinkle at the corners and a warm glow spreads across his face. "great! how about we grab a coffee tomorrow and brainstorm some ideas?"

you nod eagerly, your head bobbing with enthusiasm, as a wide smile spreads across your face, reflecting your excitement. "sounds perfect. let’s do it!"

meanwhile, matt watches, his fists clenching involuntarily as he witnesses the effortless connection between you and carlos. jealousy burns within him, a fierce and bitter flame, as he feels the sting of being on the outside looking in, yearning for the camaraderie that seems so natural between you two.

carlos walks away, his footsteps echoing softly, while matt remains rooted to the spot, his jaw clenched tightly. the tension in his posture speaks volumes, a silent testament to the turmoil churning within him.

you look up at him, your eyes catching the sight of his clenched fists. "matt? you good?" you ask, your voice tinged with concern as you notice the tension radiating from him.

"yeah, i'm fine," matt said bluntly, his voice carrying a sharp edge. he continued to walk, deliberately avoiding eye contact, the stiffness in his gait betraying the turmoil he sought to conceal.

»--•--«

matt paced back and forth, his steps restless and uneven, as he ran a hand through his tousled hair, the frustration clear on his face. "she's just... perfect, you know? the way she smiles, like she’s genuinely happy to see you. and her laugh, it's like music. i can't get enough of it. and don't even get me started on her eyes. they're like these deep pools that you could just drown in."

chris leaned against the wall, his posture relaxed but his expression serious, arms crossed tightly over his chest. he listened intently, nodding slightly as he absorbed each word. "dude, you need to tell her how you feel. it's obvious you're crazy about her."

nick nodded in agreement, his eyes meeting matt's with a reassuring look. "yeah, matt. you keep talking about her like she's the best thing that ever happened to you. just confess already. what's the worst that could happen?"

matt stopped pacing, shaking his head vigorously, his frustration palpable. "it's not that simple. she's popular, everyone loves her. she's always surrounded by people, and she's so kind to everyone. what if she doesn’t feel the same way? what if i ruin everything? i can't stand the thought of losing her, even as a friend."

chris sighed deeply, his eyes filled with sympathy as he looked at matt. "you'll never know unless you try. sometimes you just have to take the risk. if you keep waiting, you might miss your chance."

nick chimed in, leaning forward with a serious expression. "exactly. she's worth it, isn't she? every time you talk about her, your face lights up. she's clearly special to you."

matt looked down, his heart heavy with uncertainty. "yeah, she is. but that’s what makes it so hard. she's always so confident and sure of herself, and here i am, just... me. what if i'm not good enough for her?"

chris stepped closer, placing a reassuring hand on matt's shoulder. "listen, man. you are good enough. you just have to believe in yourself. she deserves to know how you feel."

nick interjected, leaning forward with a thoughtful expression, his eyes reflecting a depth of understanding. "and who knows? maybe she feels the same way. you won't know until you take that leap."

matt took a deep breath, attempting to calm the tumultuous storm of his racing thoughts. "i just... i don't want to mess this up. she's everything to me."

chris offered him a reassuring smile, one that conveyed an unspoken promise of unwavering support. "we're here for you, no matter what happens. but you owe it to yourself to be honest with her."

nick nodded in agreement, his gesture imbued with a silent yet profound understanding. "you got this, matt. just be yourself. that's the guy she already likes."

matt glanced at his brothers, a glimmer of hope beginning to illuminate the shadows of his doubts. "thanks, guys. maybe... maybe i will tell her. soon."

»--•--«

your fingers waltzed across the piano keys, each note a tentative step in the quest for a new melody, when the soft click of the front door reached your ears.

you furrowed your eyebrows, leaning back slightly, your gaze drifting toward the entrance with a mix of curiosity and apprehension.

you see matt approaching, his head bowed and his hands buried deep in his pockets, each step heavy with unspoken thoughts.

you smile, swiveling on the piano seat. "hey, matt. what brings you here?" you inquire, your voice a gentle blend of curiosity and warmth.

"we need to talk," matt said, lifting his gaze to meet yours as he came to a halt in front of you, his sudden presence catching you off guard.

your heart skips a beat at the gravity in his voice. "okay," you murmur, gesturing to the chair beside you. "sit down."

matt hesitates for a moment before settling into the chair, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that makes the air feel heavier. he takes a deep breath, as if summoning all his courage from within. "i've been thinking a lot lately," he begins, his voice quivering slightly. "about us. about you."

you feel a knot forming in your stomach, the uncertainty of the conversation's direction weighing heavily on you. "what do you mean?" you ask, your voice barely a whisper, tinged with apprehension.

matt runs a hand through his hair, his eyes momentarily dropping to the floor before lifting to meet yours once more. "i can't keep this inside anymore. you mean so much to me. more than just a friend. every time i see you, it feels as though my heart is going to burst. and when i'm not with you, my thoughts are consumed with the longing to be near you again."

your breath catches in your throat as you process his words, each syllable echoing in your mind. "matt, i..." you begin, but the words falter on your lips. emotions swirl within you, a tempest of confusion, hope, and fear. you struggle to find the right words, the gravity of the moment pressing down on you.

he interrupts, his eyes pleading with an intensity that makes your heart skip a beat. "just let me finish," he implores, his voice a mixture of desperation and earnestness. he takes a deep breath, his hands trembling slightly as he continues. "i know this might be a shock, and i don't want to ruin what we have. but i can't pretend anymore. i love you. i have for a long time. and i need to know if there's even a chance that you might feel the same way."

silence hangs between you like a heavy curtain, the weight of his confession sinking in. your fingers, which had been resting on the piano keys, now tremble slightly, each note you once played now a distant memory. the air feels thick, almost tangible, as if the very room is holding its breath, waiting for your response.

finally, you find your voice, though it wavers with the weight of unspoken emotions. "matt, i had no idea... i mean, i never thought..." you take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart, which feels as though it might leap from your chest. "i feel the same way. i've been too scared to say anything because i didn't want to lose you as a friend." your words hang in the air, fragile yet powerful, as the world seems to hold its breath around you.

matt's eyes widen in surprise, and a slow smile spreads across his face, as if he’s just discovered a hidden treasure. "you do?" he whispers, his voice barely audible, yet brimming with hope and disbelief.

you nod, a smile of your own forming, delicate and full of unspoken promises. "yes, i do," you reply, your voice soft yet resolute, each word carrying the weight of the emotions you've kept hidden for so long.

in that moment, the room seems to brighten, the air filled with a newfound hope and possibility. matt reaches out, his hand trembling slightly as he cups your face, his touch tender and reverent. with a gentle pull, he bridges the distance between you, and your lips meet, a symphony of emotions and unspoken words finally finding their voice.

taglist — @imwetforyourmom @meatballzerz69 @pinkishpearls @bandanamatt @thedangerousalleyway @muchloveforhacker @frozenpeanutbutterr @jetaimevous @everleiqh @conspiracy-ash @ifwdominicfike @blahbel668 @slutforsturnioloss @realuvrrr @sturnobsessedwh0re @cerismo @zainabthescientist @sarosfilms

[loveemagicpeace]

🛁Body & Health🧼

🛁6th house is also about your health. How you can get sick or which part of the body may be most vulnerable. Of course, there are other factors as to why and how. But the 6th house is connected to your body, which means that there are things here that can have the greatest impact on your body.

☀️Sun in 6th house you can be prone to exertion. Many times your heart and hair can suffer. Back, spine and immune system -They can many times be affected. It is good if you eat a lot of vitamins. Exercise is also very important. The more you move, the more energy you will have. Heart disease is often confirmed in men due to excessive strain. Herbs good for you: sunflower, calendula, mistletoe, juniper, laurel, chamomile, cinnamon, rosemary.

🌙Moon in 6th house you can be prone to depression. Emotional stress can greatly affect health. You must not be emotionally burdened with work. Your body can recover quickly even after a serious illness if you are emotionally stable. Parts of the body you have to be careful are: breasts, mammary glands, esophagus, stomach, intestines, salivary gland, liver, gallbladder, intestine. Herbs good for you: anise, cabbage, camphor, cucumber, iris, jasmine, lettuce, lily, poppy, violet, willow, lotus, moonwort, mugwort, pumpkin.

🍀Mercury in 6th house-you can be prone to stress. The nervous system is weak and sometimes they are threatened by tension and stress due to the fast pace of life. You have to remind yourself that it is necessary calm down and relax every now and then and try to eat regularly. The brain, lungs, respiratory system and nervous system can be affected the most. With mercury here The lungs are a potential weak point because it's a common cold may develop a persistent cough. Also shoulders, arms and hands. These can be susceptible to injuries such as sprains or fractures. Herbs good for you: lilies of the valley, marjoram, fern, lavender, fennel, anise, mint, thyme, dill, lemon grass.

🍒Venus in 6th house- you can be prone to prone to unpleasantness. Many times it can be something that affects your appearance, your beauty. People with this placement can fluctuate a lot with their body weight. They also tend to tighten in the neck, which is usually the result of tension that has accumulated over time. Because they want to remain calm, most of the time feelings of anger and stress. Parts of the body that may be most prone to damage: throat, kidneys, lumbar region. Herbs good for you: birch, walnut, almond, violet, narcissus, elder, poppy, passion fruit, fig, peach, apricot, olive.

🦋Mars in 6th house- you are prone to irritation. Many times you can get injured during sports or activities. It is not recommended to do things that are dangerous. Many times you can burden yourself too much by being able to finish or do something. You can often be prone to migraines and headaches. Even to a hot temperature, which otherwise quickly disappears. It is not recommended that they be active when they are tired. It can mean that you have too fast a pace of life, which can mean that you skip the main meals (which can lead to digestive problems). Parts of the body that may be most prone to damage: head, muscles, adrenal glands, fetuses. Herbs good for you: pine, pepper, hot pepper, nettle, cherry, radish, horseradish, onion, garlic, ginger, tobacco.

🫧Jupiter in 6th house-Jupiter is usually good in this house because it represents happiness luck abundance. So most likely you will be very blessed with your health. However, you may be inclined to react too impulsively or optimistically to certain health problems. Even if they get sick, they recover quickly. The thinness of the stems is rich food and wine, which can lead to obesity, especially in middle age. They tend to overeat, which can overload the liver. In later years, arthritis and rheumatism affects the hips. Parts of the body that may be most prone to damage: thighs, liver. Herbs good for you: oak, pine, maple, birch, willow, cherry, pear, licorice, moss, wheat, nutmeg, saffron, clover.

🪐Saturn in 6th house-you can be prone to burdnes. Sometimes you can have too much stuff. You are stressing too much and giving yourself too much stress and limitations. When they're exhausted, their weakened immune systems can't cope with minor ailments as easily, and unrelieved tension can prevent a good night's sleep. The main body parts associated with it signs are knees, teeth and bones. Over the years, joints can become stiff. Meticulous dental care is required. They are prone to strong melancholy and can gradually begin to sink into depression. Parts of the body that may also be prone to damage : gall bladder, spleen. Herbs good for you: cypress, hemp, wolf cherry, moss, cumin, ivy, sage.

🪼Neptune in 6th house- you may be prone to self-inflicted diseases. Things can be confusing and not clear. They can get diseases from computers, phones and other modern technology and pollutants. Mysterious health problems that modern medicine cannot define or explain. Complementary therapies may help you more. Since Neptune and Pisces are associated with the feet, this part can be the most affected. Pisces often under severe stress they seek solace in alcohol and drugs. A foot massage will be good for you. Parts of the body that may be most prone to damage : nervous system, feet. Herbs good for you: water lily, mushrooms

🧃Uranus in 6th house- You may be more sensitive to the cold. Diseases that can appear are often related to unknown or strange things. They have an intense mind that needs plenty of stimulation, but they are not always in tune with their body's needs. Daily lack of movement causes a decline in energy and circulation. During the winter months, numb fingers and feet can swell if nothing else take action. Uranus is also associated with the ankles so people can be prone to sprains. They can exercise caution and must wear appropriate footwear. They are also subjected sudden illnesses that then disappear without a trace. Parts of the body that may be most prone to damage: ankles, blood circulation. Herbs good for you:orchid

🐚Pluto in 6th house- They are extremely durable and resistant, which means that they are generally healthy. Some diseases that may be related to them are of a more psychosomatic origin. They may also be prone to nervous tension, which can affect the muscles of the shoulders, neck, and back. A massage is good. The main parts of the body are the bladder and large intestine. It is important that they excrete toxins. It is also good to do a detox diet every now and then. Parts of the body that may be most prone to damage: miscarried, gave birth, bowels. Herbs good for you:eggplant, beetroot, pomegranate, daffodil.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah🧚🏼‍♀️💕🌙

[chelledoggo]

it just really occurred to me:

"loving your enemies" and "praying for those who persecute you" are things that take IMMENSE spiritual discipline. especially in this day and age. it's a discipline i haven't even mastered. i don't think i'm even close, and it's probably going to take a long time for me to get there.

it's so easy to just hate bigots and wish death on them, and that's kind of the trendy thing to do. and it really does seem like a lot of people deserve it. like, they're not sorry for being bigots, so our natural reaction is not to forgive them. they do and say horrible shit, so an eye for an eye just seems like the natural mindset to have, right?

being compassionate even when you don't condone the person's action exerts a LOT more emotional and spiritual energy. it's understandable why a lot of people would prefer not to do that. they're tired from all the abuse and oppression.

but it's said that one of the biggest reasons to forgive is for your own inner peace. if you're holding onto anger, you're not at peace.

the same can be said for bigots. regardless of how smug and satisfied and "not mad" they seem, they're absolutely not at peace. if they were, they wouldn't be bigots. they wouldn't give a shit about the fact that people exist who aren't like them. they'd be able to just go on with their own life.

that's why we're called to "pray for those who persecute us." we're not just praying for them to change, we're praying for them to find peace. real peace. not the fake "peace" they claim to have with themselves while spouting hateful tirades.

and obviously "loving your enemies" DOESN'T mean you excuse their actions. hell no. if someone is a bigot, the right thing to do is to call them on it while defending the oppressed.

it means you have to make an effort to keep your anger, rightful as it may be, in check. it's something you do just as much for yourself as you do for the other.

[daskolas]

SUN IN LUNAR RETURN

The Lunar chart is based on the revolution of the moon. It can show how a month of an individual will go.

NOTE: THESE ARE BASED ON MY OBSERVATIONS AND PERSONAL EXPERIENCE SO IT MAY OR MAY NOT RESONATE WITH YOU. (aspects play an incredible important role so it is important to analyse whole chart before coming to a single conclusion)

Sun in 1st house

Your focus will be on you. This is the time where you will start taking of your hair.

In this month, you can start to develop a healthy relationship with yourself.

You will be confident in your abilities more than before. OR you'll meet people who will make you realise the importance of confidence.

Sun in 2nd house

Your focus will be on finances. You may start thinking about investing in stock markets.

This is also the month where you will be able to save much more money than before.

You may also start working on your problems like if you are insecure about your skin then you may start investing in skin care products.

Sun in 3rd house

You will start communicating with people who are close to you. If you have a younger sibling then something good can happen in your relationship.

You may also have sudden realisation that I have to learn as much as I can.

This month, you will start working hard or just take a step forward towards your dreams.

Sun in 4th house

Your focus will be your home. Like you might start staying in your home much more.

You will also become more in touch with your emotions. So, maybe you will start feeling more sensitive or emotional.

Your mother might help you in something or you will help her.

Sun in 5th house

You will start hanging out with people more. So, you would want to go to parties, meet up with people etc.

You will also want to start finding a thing which soothes you like maybe you are able to express yourself better with art etc.

Your focus can move towards short term relationships. Maybe you just want to go out and have a fling.

Sun in 6th house

You will start working out or maybe even develop a healthy routine which can improve your health.

This placement can make you fall ill.

This is also a placement which will make you take initiative and also help you realise where you did something wrong.

Sun in 7th house

Focus will on forming relationships. You will feel like a social butterfly or someone who is just craving interaction.

It will also be a month where you will feel physically active. So maybe you will start working out more or just exerting more energy than usual.

This is also a time where you will make a connection with someone which can lead to positive or negative changes in your life.

Sun in 8th house

Focus will be on things which can trigger you. Or you will find yourself thinking about the negative things which happened in the past.

You will also start feeling more spiritual or religious than usual. So, maybe you will have an epiphany to learn about astrology etc

This placement will increase your interest in something which you will not be able to talk about openly. Or you will find yourself doing something which you never thought you would.

Sun in 9th house

This month is great for learning about higher spiritual things. So, connect yourself with the universe. Or you will have a knack for it.

You will start gaining interest in learning about different things. Like, maybe you want to learn random facts

Some teacher may help in some way. They may give you some advice or help you out in something.

Sun in 10th house

You will become ambitious and feel like exploring different career opportunities. If you are wanting to apply for an internship or job, then do it.

This month you may start wondering, "what am I doing with my life?"

Your relationship with your father will also start affecting you a lot.

Sun in 11th house

You will feel more social than usual. You might also start getting invitations for attending parties and etc

You might start feeling like donating something to charity. Or doing something good for your environment

You will start thinking of different ways of earning money. It is also a great time to turn your hobby into a side bhsines

Sun in 12th house

You will want to spend more time with yourself. So, this month will make you look inwards.

Your intuition will also be heightened. It is also a great time to do some moon related rituals.

Your immune system can weaken.

[n3ptoonz]

Good evening! Can you please write Raiden, Kenshi, Liu Kang, Johnny and Rain when they have sex with their s/o after a high risk mission and their emotions are all high from their almost death please? Like “I almost lost you” sex 🙏

say less 🫡

these will be blurbs

gn reader, some of these are in diff perspectives like almost losing you, them almost dying, or both

Raiden

Raiden held you close and tightly as he quickly thrusted his hips into you like you could disappear in his arms at the blink of an eye. The adrenaline post-mission barely left both of your bodies as you almost lost one another. How you ended up arriving to Poundtown™︎ with you on your side and hearing him practically whimper in your ear as he controls his own electricity powers was beyond your knowledge. But did that really matter right now?

Kenshi Takahashi

Who knew that Kenshi almost witnessing your demise would alter his brain chemistry? I mean, he's relatively the same, except when he has you pinned to the wall and making sure you don't look away. The strength this man has when he's stressed was frightening sometimes, because how is he able to hold you up for this long while exerting this much energy? Your breathless audible sounds were only fueling him more, so expect to be here for another 10 minutes.

Liu Kang

Already having thought he lost everyone he knew and love to the timeline reset before, Liu Kang was nearly prepared to lose you, but he's eternally thankful you're able hold your own. He was slow, sensual, and thoughtful as he whispered praises and guiding your movement as you rode him. Sweat was beading on your forehead from your own rush of emotion, almost dying, and the sweet sensation of a fire God melting away all your worries.

Johnny Cage

That was no stunt. Johnny Cage himself didn't expect to be this affected from a high risk mission, but when it involved him nearly losing his life. Contrary to Kenshi, he was softer with you post-craziness. He even kissed you slower than usual, savoring every last bit of this moment. The Missionary Master was in full effect tonight. As long as he can engrave those beautiful faces you make when he's inside of you in his mind, he's set for life.

Rain

Rain would die right now if it meant you'd be safe. But you nearly dying for him? Out of the question. He's not upset at you, in fact, he intends to repay you for such a thing. Naturally, that mission was terrifying for the both of you for multiple reasons, and this translated into how he sweetly and huskily he spoke in your ear as you cockwarmed him. Although, that lasted about seven minutes before he picked you up and showed you how truly grateful he was.

[hotheadedhero]

De-Stress Methods

When you're having a bad day, the last thing your turtle boyfriend wants is for you to suffer. Fortunately for you, he has his own special way of helping you out.

2003 Turtles x Reader

Leonardo

Meditation is usually his way of going about things but he knows you struggle to clear your head so easily like him. Instead, he beckons you to a rooftop, being sure to cover your eyes as he leads you up an apartment. It's a risky move on his part, both for potentially being seen and you blindly upscaling a ladder but he knows it'll be worth it. Once you're up, he waits just a moment longer.

Slightly disgruntled by the secrecy, you sigh, "Leo, if this is some kind of training exercise, I'm not sure I'm in the mood."

He just smiles as he gently coerces your hand away from your face. It takes a moment to blink away the blur but, when you do, you are blessed with a wondrous array of oranges and purples amidst the wide sky that hangs above you. The sight is breathtaking and the troubles of your day wash off you almost immediately. Leo sits you down with him atop the roof and together you gaze in content silence. Knowing him, this is probably some corny interpretation of 'tomorrow is a new day' but you feel better nonetheless.

Raphael

This man holds nothing back when he's in a bad mood. Give him a punching bag and he'll go to town on it. You, however, couldn't hurt a fly. He loves that about you but even the softest souls need an outlet. Luckily, Raph is in touch with his softer side, especially when it comes to you. That's why he attempts to show you how to knit - get you focused on a task that requires just enough attention to distract you.

"I don't think I've done it right," you admit bashfully as you showcase your poor knitting skills.

Your sullen glance to the floor almost has him giving up on this idea but he doesn't want you to be discouraged. Instead, he gently pinches your chin, points your head up towards him, and kisses your forehead, encouraging you to try again. The great thing about knitting is that you can easily pull the yarn away from your mistake and redo it. It takes some practice but the beaming grin of accomplishment on your face fills him with such pride.

Donatello

When it comes to methods of relaxation, there's nothing quite like tinkering on a new project to get Donnie to unwind. However, that isn't exactly your idea of a soothing pastime. Even just watching how he operates on machinery gets your head into a spin, akin to second-hand stress were he to feel any such stain himself. He places his tools down on the work bench and gets comfortable on the couch with a book, ushering you to join him. You lay your head in his lap and he begins to read, stroking a free hand over your head. After a few paragraphs, he feels you shift and stops reading to look down at you when he catches your stare.

"Please, don't stop," you object with a smile. "I like your voice."

With a tender expression of his own, he continues to read aloud about the geometry of spacetime. He knows it doesn't matter what he reads to you because that isn't the point. The way he sees it, the more obscure the book, the more likely you are to fall asleep and take the well-deserved nap he knows you need.

Michelangelo

Mikey may be a high-energy, goofball who, at face value, doesn't take much seriously but that doesn't mean he's an idiot. Where he seemingly lacks logical smarts, he makes up for in emotional intelligence. As soon as you walk into the lair, he can tell something's wrong. You don't want to talk about it and exerting yourself with any kind of activity sounds like too much energy. That means skateboarding and video games are out of the question then. Not a problem! There's plenty you can do that requires little to no effort. He quickly makes a batch of popcorn and sits you between his legs in front of the TV. As the back of your head rests on his chest, he feeds you so you don't have to worry about lifting a finger.

Through a mouthful, you laugh, "It's okay, Mikey. I can feed myself."

He gently shushes you and pushes another piece of popcorn into your lips. That's all he needed to hear. The moment he gets a laugh out of you is the moment he knows you're feeling better.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello! I am SO hyperfixated on the fact that the overblot form CAN be controlled??? That’s the case with Malleus isn’t it? And I guess on one hand I can see how Idia can control it too because of his “curse/blessing” (and sheer will and spite).

Maybe this is foreshadowing that maybe it’s possible for the other OB boys to do so as well???? I don’t know how it’ll work with them but I’m so excited. Overblot cards potential AAAH

I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on this!

[Referencing this post!}

Yeah, I definitely think that OB Idia battle segment opens the floodgates for potential SSR Overblot Troublemaker(s) cards 💀 (RIP to the OB gang fans)

As a refresher for everyone (since it has been a while), alllllll the way back in book 1, Crowley and Cater describe “overblot” as thus: “[… being] overcome by negative energy and[…] losing control of [one’s] magic and emotions,” and “evil berserk mode”.

We’ve seen many examples of these traits in the main story campaign; oftentimes, the OB boy in question is impossible to reason with and has to be subdued via battle. However, it’s important to note that while the OBs may be primarily driven by their emotions, it is not purely rage but rather negative feelings in general. Yes, many OBs (Riddle, Leona, Azul, Vil, etc.) do attack others—but other OBs demonstrate moments of calm (ie when their demands are met). For example, Jamil is tame when he believes he has banished Kalim, secured hypnotized Scarabia mobs, and reigns over the dorm as its new leader. I do believe anger is still a large component of the behavior of one who has overblotted though; that rage most certainly clouds a person’s judgment and compels them to strike out at the slightest thing.

Now, about the idea of “controlling” OBs… I don’t that that can actually be done?? We have to remember that Malleus is a VERY powerful mage—and this alone could give him an “edge” that others don’t when it comes to being fully aware while in OB (though I believe both Malleus and Vil indicate early on they notice their blot building). As Idia’s dad states, Malleus is drawing his magic from nature itself and therefore has a limitless supply it. Secondly, I wouldn’t call Malleus’s OB “controlling” it to begin with. It’s clear that he’s still running high on emotions and is unwilling to hear others out or have them interfere with his plans. These are still traits associated with OB; it’s not as though Malleus is “overriding” the unreasonable thoughts, he is still ruled by them and acts on them. I think what you (maybe?) mean is that Malleus has a much more calculating approach and more precise control over how he wields his power rather than indiscriminately smashing stuff in his path. This, again, could do with his insane power level compared to his peers. Unlike most other OBs, his goal (at least in his own framing) before he overblotted to begin with wasn’t to “take away”, but rather to “gift” happy endings to everyone. This sets him apart just based on interests alone, and that’s perhaps why he acts the most different in the lot.

Now let’s consider the circumstances under which Idia OBs a second time: it’s in a dream, meaning it’s questionable whether or not this would transfer over to real life. Because it’s Idia’s dream, he has more autonomy in it, particularly because he is now “awake”/conscious of the fact that it is a dream. Secondly, Idia bears the Shroud family’s curse/blessing, which allows him to “power up” the more blot is present, as it serves as fuel for his magic. This alone makes him a “special case” which could explain the unusual amount of control he exerts over his OB form. (Again though, I’d wager it’s mostly the dream environment.)

I do see maybe the other OB boys doing a similar “oh, lemme OB to help you guys fight” in a dream situation where there are fewer limits on what they can do, but not in a real world setting. It would put them all at risk anyway, as they lack Idia’s curse/blessing or Malleus’s fae powers. Is that worth the risk, knowing they could all die or potentially turn on their classmates?

I just don’t see OB becoming a “tool” or a magical girl transformation the characters could pull out for combat purposes in the story (though this is possible for like the gameplay outside of the story). I highly doubt OB is like something you could train yourself to control; it’s less like bulking up at the gym and more like pushing yourself to keep exercising while you’re high on adrenaline… Sooner or later, you’d burn out and injure yourself in that overexertion.

If there ever are OB cards, I can easily see them as being the type that don’t come with vignettes because… what reasonable story could you conjure up to explain the OBing again? If there are vignettes, then they most likely won’t fit into the main story canon. You’d have to frame the OB cards as “within the moment” of whatever book they OB’d in, and perhaps go more in-depth about the trauma or something along those lines.

[finniestoncrane]

General!Scarecrow x Villain!Fem!Reader, word count: 2k commission: jonathan and his assistant have their first dangerous encounter with batman, and the adrenaline inspires him to set aside his need to protect her with his other desires...🎃🧡 commission me here! request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: public sex, exhibitionism

The chase was intense. The work even more so. In a strange and unusually lenient move, Jonathan had decided that your first outing as his assistant, his partner in crime, would be one of the more dangerous ones. You had long since realised that his feelings towards you extended far beyond passive interest, and thinly veiled sexual attraction. He cared about you, and would go to great lengths to ensure your safety. But, in a twist you hadn’t seen coming, he was willing to let you stand beside him, testing his newest batch of toxin. Quicker to take it’s hold over the potential victims, deeper fears exposed and utilised to bring Gotham to its knees.

He was impressed by you, you could tell as much. He’d called your method of spreading the toxin, through the air, swooping over the already terrified crowds, admirable and genius. Always quick with a compliment. But as beautiful as you looked, as majestic and ethereal, somehow not quite possible even, you were as you flew over the city, it was a far more obvious affair than they had planned. And before they knew it, the Bat was on their heels.

Luckily, escape was Jonathan’s forte. Either in mind, from emotions and painful memories, or in life, from Arkham, from imprisonment, and from the determined clutches of the Batman. He had no intentions of being caught this time, not when his work was becoming so interesting. And not when he had found someone worth staying free for. You were everything to him, and, somehow too late now that capture was imminent, he was realising it.

In a bid to keep you save, a last ditch attempt at maintaining his freedom and continuing his, their, important experiments, he grabbed your arm and pulled you on foot through the alleys, making his way expertly and surprisingly quickly, to the broken back door of an abandoned building. They ran to the stairs together, aware that there were only seconds between them and Batman, between escaping and being separated, sent away. But as they burst forth from the rooftop access, they realised that there was no one chasing them anymore. No thudding footsteps behind them. They had done it. They had escaped.

The thrill, it was exhilarating. To be so close to inevitability and then to evade it. It was all you had wanted, all you had imagined it would be. You braced yourself, hands on your knees as you panted, before you stood up, holding back an adrenaline fuelled scream. Instead, you spoke softly, still aware of your surroundings and the possibility of Batman hearing them and locating them.

“That was… that was amazing! I know you don’t usually like to exert any enthusiasm on the job, and I know that’s all this is, a job… but that was just so freeing. It was just… just so…”

Noticing that he was being oddly silent, even for him, you turned to him, still panting from the exertion of energy and the sweeping adrenaline that coursed through your veins, but laughing in excitement. With a soft giggle, you managed to squeeze out a word between breaths.

“What?”

As he faced you completely, your smile fell as you noticed he was staring, emotionless, neutral and calm.

“What?”

There was no answer, just his eyes, boring into your soul. You could see something flickering beyond them, deep within his pupils, but it was impossible to tell, to read his emotions.

“Ok, Jonathan… you’re scaring me now. What’s wrong? Are you no-”

On a sharp intake, you swallowed the breath, your words and flow interrupted as Jonathan grabbed your forearms, pulling you into a deep kiss that knocked you back, brain blank as you adjusted to his grip. While you found the capacity to kiss him back, leaning into his lips as he moaned soft and low at the reciprocation, Jonathan’s grasp loosened, his fingers beginning to stroke against the sleeves of your costume, teasing at it to pull it away from you, to touch your smooth, warm skin beneath.

Feeling more desperate, keener to touch you with every passing second, he leant into the embrace, knocking you back against the wall of the rooftop access. His kisses sloppily trailed from your mouth to your chin, along your jaw and to your neck. Strands of saliva followed, coating your skin, glistening under the moonlight, a testament to the desperation and desire, to be satiated in his deep hunger.

His lips, chapped and torn, lingered on you, his breath hot and warm, cheeks flushed with the heat of arousal. As he panted into you, you held his cheeks, forcing his gaze back up to yours.

“Are you ok, Jonathan?”

“I… I need you. Now. It can’t wait.”

With a surprised squeal, you were hoisted up against the wall, held there, his arms wrapped around your thighs, your legs around his waist, supported by his surprisingly strong body. Positioned against his body, you could feel his erection, the stiffened thickness at the front of his own costume, pressing against you. Just the suggestion of him alone was enough to arouse you, slick gathering as you felt him buck into you, ever so slightly.

Jonathan’s fingers were pressed into your skin, stinging even through the fabric. He clawed at it, tearing it slightly beneath his ragged nails, ferocious as he felt your skin against his calloused finger tips. His teeth met your collarbone, deep in the skin of your neck, as he moved around, kissing, lapping at you, biting to taste your flesh.

Finding himself, attempting to maintain some composure, he stopped, his forehead against yours, taking the moment to breathe before he spoke.

“This is most… inappropriate, but it’s too good to waste, you know, the feelings. It does feel right. Right?”

Taking his face in your hands you leaned into him.

“It feels perfect.”

The adrenaline dimmed, tension still palpable between them as Jonathan let himself be supported by your hands and head and body.

“There’s danger in this. Too much. But the excitement, the fear, it almost makes up for it. Still… it made me realise how close I could come to losing you.”

His fingers trailed up and down your spine, your blood running cold as the sensation, shivering with excitement as he tickled over you.

“And if we’re to risk that… I’d hate to lose out on anything. To regret not doing what I wanted.”

Jonathan’s arms were wrapped tightly around you, his lips punctuating his words as he kissed your neck and down your arm, romantic and yet, tinged with a sense of possessiveness, as though he were marking you, scenting you as his, covering you with him.

“You’re mine, my sweet. My muse, my assistant, my partner. Mine. And I want to make sure nothing bad happens to you.”

Taking you by complete surprise, his hands moved to the front of your costume, ripping it apart swiftly and with little effort. Your breasts, stomach and shoulders exposed to the elements.

“Unless, that is, I happen to be the one doing the bad things.”

Throwing your hands around his neck, placing one at the back of his head to tease back his hood, you let yourself be taken over by him, ravished completely as he let his hands drag down your front, carelessly and clumsily over your body. Though the sight of you, cold and exposed, entirely vulnerable to his touch and to the world, made his cock twitch, stiff against the front of his pants, he held you close regardless. Covering you up, bringing you into his warmth, attempting to protect you still, even against his own pleasure and desires.

Still, he was happy to let you get cold briefly, just as he positioned himself at your feet. On his knees, grovelling, begging. Devout in his worship and adoration of your body. He held his face against your stomach, kissing up it, straining to reach your breasts. With one hand, he cupped one, letting his fingers tease over the nipple, holding it between his calloused and rough finger tips and rolling it between them. The other he let hold you, palm pressed into your rear as he grabbed at your cheek, bringing you closer, to feel his hot breath against your skin.

Moments like these, where they were close in proximity but in spirit also, were points where he felt like he could be honest. To tell you how deeply he appreciated you. The friendship, the touch, the encouragement. To find such a likeminded soul, it was something he had never imagined possible. But as he held you, softer, kinder, warmer than him, he felt his stomach tighten. As much as he wanted to preserve you, to protect you, all he could think about was devouring you, ruining you for anyone else but him.

Grabbing your hips, Jonathan spun you around until you were facing the wall of the roof access building. With his hands still on your waist, he bent you over, his palm sliding up your spine to your head which he pushed down. Taking the hint, you placed your palms against the rough wall in front of you, steadying yourself. Behind you, his hands now on his own body, you could hear Jonathan unzipping his pants, pulling them down hastily.

[leviathanleva]

Cujo

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Supersoldier!FemReader

Description: A monster in human skin, a weapon disguised as a person, no thoughts, no emotion, as per design. He despises you and everything you stand for. He’s tried to kick you out of his squad and failed, he’s made it his mission to break you no matter the cost.

It comes as a surprise when he asks you to lie and say you love him.

[4.4k words]

[Angst, Blood and Injury, Graphic Depiction of Gore]

Chapter 3 "Liquorish"

Heartbeat heavy in your chest, you race up the supposedly abandoned building, finding enemy after enemy.

It was supposed to be a routine inspection, an easy mission, in and out in less than a week. Now everything is turned upside down and being unable to contact or smell Ghost anywhere near has your senses flaring up with the unfamiliar feeling of stress and determination.

Bloodlust hazes your vision, everything has a ruddy tint to it, be it from splattered entrails or rage, it’s beyond your understanding. The memories still linger, the last sentence you heard over the coms before everything went to static:

“Hound! Do not engage! The roof is – ”

You were supposed to be his shield, it’s your job to be ambushed and take damage, you can regenerate, he can’t. But Ghost let either his man pride or his protective instinct overwhelm him, the anxiety still lingered in his gut no matter how many times you came back to him half dead and you were good as new minutes later. He wasn’t thinking clearly when he pushed you behind him and ordered you to watch his back as you advanced through the abandoned building suspected of drug trafficking activity.

He moved ahead without you, for once he wanted to be your protector. Now you can’t sense hair or trail from him and you’re becoming increasingly frustrated.

Easy mission your ass. This was a charade for something bigger.

The mask around your mouth whirls in overdrive, siphoning as much oxygen as possible while you vigorously work your way to the dreaded roof. Straining both muscle and limb in unison, you climb floor after floor, pushing your limitations as vapor froths off your skin and trails behind you like a haunting mirage. Your body is boiling on the inside, having exerted too much energy in too short a time and your muzzle can only do so much to keep you going before you collapse from overheating.

To hell with pushing your bounds when the Lieutenant might be in danger.

Another enemy, seemingly waiting for you, they all have been, a crumb trail of beating hearts the closer you get to your destination. You dive for him as bullets dig into your shoulder, he’s sliding towards the grimy floor and clutching his shredded throat a moment later. You don’t have time for a measly nobody, he chose the wrong side, he suffers the consequences.

The concrete debris crinkles under your boots, crushed to fine dust under the pressure you’ve put on your feet. Clutching and shouldering corners, you bounce yourself off them to retain speed in the claustrophobic corridors. Jump over handfuls of stairs where more hostiles await, you hear them before you see them, distinguishing their heavy breathing over your muffled pants.

Blood painting the walls like an abstract piece of art, death is left in your wake as you rush up another floor. The screams have alerted more people, and so have the gunshots and you bristle at the amount of footsteps echoing in the shells of your ears.

What is going on? Why are there so many of them? Where the hell is the Lieutenant? How did they jam your coms?

The questions are pushed aside as you appear in the shadows of a bare apartment, blending into the darkness and only your irises visible. A menacing sight to anyone, a monster, it’s what you’ve become as you slowly drown in your brutish ways the longer you’re detached from your beloved master.

A hoarse growl escapes you, you’re nearly moving on all fours, prowling low to the floor as you tackle the first enemy target. Flashlights are thrown astray, nearly blinding you as the chaos ensues. You crush bone like it’s toothpicks, rip at flesh like paper, the whirring in your mask overwhelms the gurgling cries for help and call for reinforcements. Bloodlust can be dangerous in the hands of one who is inexperienced such as yourself and you keep walking deeper down that path as no sign of your teammate shines to stifle you back to normalcy.

Strands of hair stick to your face like glue, matted down and drenched in sweat, your gear feels heavy and damp, it’s a sauna beneath your loose, coarse blouse. Your socks are slippery against the inside of your boots and you have half a mind to kick them off and continue barefoot. Juggernaut as you are, your breaking point is nearly reached and you feel the stinging pain creeping up your spine. The idea of rest is forced away, you can’t afford it when you’re so close, you’ve come too far to shut down now to cool off, not when Ghost is unresponsive.

The amount of cocking weapons should be concerning as you near the door to the roof, bloodshot eyes opened wide and pupils dilated as the scent of familiarity finally reaches your nostrils, too intoxicating for your mind to register the plethora of other bodily odors.

You nearly break through the door in your neglectful hurry, gaze harsh and piercing, slicing through the multitude of hostile soldiers only with your oppressive presence. Hunched over, with tense shoulders and pulsing hands that are itching to rip into the men before you, you skim over the roof with vigor, letting your nose guide your vision to a familiar figure standing at the edge of the roof.

“Lieutenant!” Your first instinct is to rasp out, crystalline orbs trained on his battered form strung up by a crane like a piece of meat. A guttural snarl reverberates deep in your throat as you turn to the crowd of armed enemies with malice, ready to shred them to a pulp and eat a bucket of bullets in the process if only to get to your precious squad mate.

Ghost sways above a crater, his secured feet dangling above a deadly drop. You can smell the blood slowly oozing down his knuckles, staining his gloves, and hear his steady heart as he swims in unconsciousness. You nearly whine at the sight, reeling your head towards him with the need to call out again and maybe have him wake up.

No such simple luxury is provided for you, instead you’re faced off with a handful of brutes who believe their chances of survival are higher than zero.

You take a step forward. The weapons train on you.

You’ll rip them apart –

“ – Tut, tut!”

You falter at the voice and watch the nearly unhinged door behind you close to reveal none other than your target – suited and unbothered by your feral breathing and unceremonial entrance. The man you’ve been hunting for an age too long now to admit, a slippery bastard that felt someone breathing down his neck only when you were sent after his trail. Philip Graves stands to your right, the traitor, the absolute menace of a man that has the audacity to flick a smile at you as if you’d just joined his most prestigious party.

“Well, it’s nice to finally see Shepherd’s little experiment in the flesh.” He croons and looks you over in marvel. A bitter frown adorns your features as you abandon your prowling stance and straighten your back, adopting a more human-like pose. “Quite the achievement.” He notices your attention turn completely to him and scoffs before unfurling his fingers to show off a remote of sorts. “Don’t give me that look.”

“And that is…?” You question, words slurred by the confines of your muzzle as your eyes dart from his face to the remote, then you realize and your glare sharpens.

“The remote to the crane of course. I wouldn’t risk being in your proximity if I didn’t have a guarantee of your obedience. I’m confident, not a fool.” You’d snort at his cocky words in a different setting. He gestures at you with his free hand, flicking his fingers casually as if ushering a child. “Now if you really cherish your Lieutenant – remove your mask.”

For a brief moment, you’re left confused, blink at him twice before tilting your chin to one side and crossing your arms, eyes straying from him as you plunge into thought. The audacity was not what bewildered you, but his utter belief in having wrangled you pliant. To think he was willing to so absolutely rely on the dry, shallow information he’d dug up was preposterous. It was also wrong, your instructions were clear and no blackmail or threat was going to weaken your resolve.

You were trained to hunt, complete your assignment at any cost, be put in lethal danger, and come out victorious. Your squad mates were weak to no fault of their own, but their lifeline was something you would risk for the greater good.

This was your duty.

“No.” You answer simply and take a step forward. Whatever justice-fueled speech was circling in your head is silenced by an unfamiliar trepidation in your chest as you see Graves’ thumb glide over the release button on the remote. You swallow something thick in your throat and huff out a breath before straightening your shoulders. “Return the Lieutenant to me and I will leave you to run. I will not pursue you. You have my word.”

What was this…? What the hell were you saying?

He laughs at your words, apparently the contradiction of them to your monotone voice is entertaining. Your jaw clenches at his nonchalant demeanor used to disguise the nervous sheet of sweat forming thickly on the back of his neck. You can smell it even with the abundance of testosterone burning your nostrils.

“You see, I would…but then again, I don’t trust you.”

“I do not lie.” You state with a deadpan look.

“You don’t disobey orders either.” Graves retorts and gives you a challenging expression, pursing his lips to one side and deeming you too untrustworthy for a dealing of a peace delegation. “Mask off. Now.” He snaps when you don’t budge and twirls the remote in his hand before pointing it daringly at Ghost. A moment of nothing passes and instead of the tension you’d hoped to rise within him, he grins and rests a hand on his hip, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Oh? Is this right? You truly don’t care for your teammate?”

“No.” Comes your immediate answer, smooth and soft and lacking an ounce of care for the potential danger it might send your Lieutenant in. You glance at his limp, hanging body with disinterest and blame your palpitating heart to the long and strenuous journey to the roof rather than something else. It couldn’t be anything else, you felt nothing but the aftermath of physical exertion. “Whether he lives or dies, it’s all the same to me.” You’re being truthful yet every single word wrestles with you fervently before being forced past your teeth. Strange and bothersome, but you pay it no mind. “If I return with your head my task is complete. Your death is my mission, casualties are inevitable.”

He doesn’t buy it.

“Let’s test that theory, shall we?” Graves sneers something vile and again points the remote at the crane, toying with you and relishing in it.

Your mask hisses loudly and is tossed on the concrete floor of the roof before you can realize what you’re doing. The lower part of your face – wet from the vapor of your breaths, soiled with a snarl. You don’t dare let the bastard out of sight now that the power dynamic has shifted in his favor.

“There you go. Good girl.” He coos at the sight of your unreluctant obedience and his smug features soften in near adoration. “Seems you still have a heart after all.”

Not fond of his degrading babying, you try to steer the conversation to another, much more vital topic that has been gnawing at your gut since the revealing of his presence.

“Why are you here? What business do you have with me?”

Graves, much to your surprise, obliges your question.

“A little birdie told me I’m being hunted by a whole new predator. A…special one this time.” He begins and motions for his men to make their way to his side, steering them to a safe distance from your vicious paws in case you snap despite the low odds. He reciprocates the eye contact, almost unblinking, not wanting to miss a beat from your uncanny demeanor. “That birdie also told me you have a habit of following orders only from your Lieutenant and I thought maybe…if I manage to string up the worm, I’ll get the fish.” His arms spread wide, his chest expands and you’re almost tempted to lunge forward. “And voila.”

“That’s not an answer to my question.” You cock your head at him and let your arms unfold and fall to your sides.

The corners of his mouth twitch at your disinterest.

“I wanted to see you in the flesh, Hound.” He answers then, changing from his grandiose façade to a genuine and less irritable one. Gesturing towards you, he continues. “Check if the rumors are true. And judging by the fact you even got to the roof – they certainly are.” His hands clasped together over his pelvis, the remote shining still between his fingers, yellow and menacing in contrast to his black cotton gloves. “Quite disgusting what they did to you. Wouldn’t you say?” The nearly heartfelt sympathy in his tone does little to sway your intentions and it shows clearly on your unmoving features. Yet he keeps going, keeps feeding you with conflicting thoughts that fail to take root in your mind. “Countless months of agony just to become a pawn.”

Despite the unpleasant memories flooding your head at his take, you hum and brush them aside without much effort.

“I consented to my augmentations.”

“That you did.” He nods and juts his jaw before flicking the blonde locks away from his eyes and slicking them back. “ For the chance of serving a greater purpose, not being someone’s lapdog and wasting your potential on lowly criminals.” Scorn drips heavily from his tongue, a hidden distaste for his own misfortunes showing, misfortunes much similar to yours. “But I won’t sway you yet. I can’t when your attention is so torn between me and your Lieutenant.”

Maybe his sympathy is sincere, you think. Maybe there’s an ounce of truth in his law-breaking, scummy ways and he sees you as much of a victim as he sees himself. It would make sense why he orchestrated this whole situation instead of simply trying to kill you and rid himself of you.

A part of you believes him, you can tell that bits and pieces of what he says come from a wronged man trying to take revenge for his pain. But you’re no simple soldier, you were built to withstand manipulation, torture, worse. You admit to his twisted honesty but have no intent in following after him and abandoning everything you’ve worked to build no matter how unimportant or unimpressive it was.

“You’re misinterpreting.”

The distinct beat of helicopter wings catches your attention far before the vehicle itself appears in the distance. Graves and his men’s ride, you presume, a quick escape after he got bored of your lack of subordination and bid you farewell.

“Am I?” He doesn’t dare to glance back, instead lets his ears assure him that his escape route is secured and is hastily approaching his location. “So far you’ve completed your tasks well.” A gloved thumb rubs over his freshly shaven jaw, before nudging his bottom lip up in contemplation as he sizes you up and down with a calculative look. “I have one last objective for you, though, just to test your limits. Figure out what I’m up against, you know?”

“I don’t take orders from you.” You hiss, expressing something more than monotony for the first time during your conversation.

His words had struck a nerve somewhere, surprisingly so, yet he took the opportunity regardless.

“This one you’ll have to.” He all but sighs, bored with your resistance and crackling unbothered demeanor. There’s too much peaking beneath it and he wants to sink his teeth into it, yet you continue to deny him. Whether from a lack of understanding over your emotions or a very bad attempt at hiding them, they were visibly showing through and he couldn’t get enough of it. “Tell me, do you think if you jump from this building you can survive?”

“Without my mask, it’s highly unlikely.”

A gust of wind sweeps by you and suddenly you’re painfully aware how it sways the rope Ghost hangs from, still and silent. Sweat forms on your brow, your hands curl into fists, blunt nails digging into the flesh of your palms and nearly drawing blood.

“Interesting.” He hums at your answer, nodding at the new information bestowed upon him – a weakness, a flaw in your design that your makers hadn’t been able to work out. This gave him a useful advantage against you. “So without a steady supply of oxygen, you’re rendered useless.”

“I can still rip you in half.” You declare and lean forward, arms dangling and ready to clutch at the floor and propel you forward. Your patience runs thin and Graves tastes it on his tongue, not much longer before you snap and dash either for him or the Lieutenant.

“Oh, I don’t doubt.” He laughs in your face like your threat means nothing and gestures for his men to board the helicopter before hopping on himself. He grips onto the side of the door and smiles bitterly at you. “Well, it’s been a pleasure making your acquaintance finally after such a long game of cat and mouse. I’m afraid we must be going now though.”

“Do you like hearing yourself talk?” A bark reverberates somewhere deep in your throat, akin to a growl as you lunge towards the helicopter.

No more talking, you’ve given him enough grace. Should have ended everything minutes before, forced yourself to move out of the stupor your Lieutenant’s state had pinned you in.

He doesn’t matter, nothing matters but Graves’ head, and like a scared mutt, you’d let him grow confident in his false influence over you.

“You know, you’re right. I’ve talked enough.” Venom oozes from his smirk as he spits one last taunt your way. “Fetch!”

You fail to realize why he’s so self-assured when you’re still capable of reaching him before the helicopter has lifted off. The slimy smirk doesn’t leave his face as he presses the button and turns away from you with a distinct “Ta!”. It’s sickening. Ghost matters not, your orders are clear and you’re sure the Lieutenant would understand the sacrifice you had to make were he in your stead. It’s a worthy sacrifice, he’d be honored after his demise, renowned for leading you to the den of the enemy for you to demolish and rid the world of their stain of an existence.

“You’re a fool if you think – ”

Your voice hitches as your body involuntarily turns away from Graves.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING –

You dash across the rooftop and leap over the edge without a drop of hesitancy. A coil nestles in your stomach, not from the sight before you – a height so devastating, the street below so far that the cars look like mere pebbles, but at the thought of abandoning your prospect, disobeying a command, revolting against your upper command.

Too late to turn back now. And even if you could, would you?

No…

You adjust your limbs against the merciless wind, propel your arms forward like a diver about to hit the water's surface, your entire being flattened to endure as much resistance as possible and cut through the air. The cold whips against your eyes, blurs your vision with tears which you rapidly blink away to not lose sight of Ghost’s descending body.

Was it only the cold? Why were the tears so salty then?

Why was your face stuck in a desperate grimace of horror and hope?

Halfway across the building, you manage to snatch the rope around your Lieutenant’s waist. Your victory is shortlived as the earth beneath approaches steadfast and you bite into your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood and keep your head as cool as possible.

What now?

Even if he’s safely in your arms, you’re still heading for an inevitable death and thinking time is limited. You wrack your brain into turbo mode to come up with something, anything to save him, prevent his fall. The solution comes to you and it’s not all too pleasant, but without an alternative, you relent.

You thrust your arm through the glassy wall of the building, letting the shards shred through your skin, unable to exert your full potential without your mask. You try to regardless and your throat feels like it’s closing in on itself, you can’t breathe in enough air, the oxygen is not nearly the amount you need and you’re left suffocating slowly. Your hand mauls through cement floors and polished windows that shatter under the pressure as you desperately grapple for something, trying to slow your momentum.

Heart hammering in your throat, eyes wide with plea for something to work, for a miracle to happen, but it doesn’t. No fairytales allowed for the sinful and decrepit, for those who’ve abandoned their humanity for the betterment of civilization.

Pain doesn’t register on your features as your arm continues to endure in vain, shredded, sliced, battered to a pulp. But the horror registers when it shatters, the bone and flesh unable to withstand such detrimental amounts of damage, it’s rendered useless. It’s not the physical agony that terrifies you, but the only means of you saving the Lieutenant – now completely obliterated.

What now?

You think while your gaze darts from the bloodied, mangled mess that is your now worthless limb to the hastily approaching pavement below.

DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING! –

“Bloody f – ”

The once-lidded chocolate orbs you’ve grown to cherish look up at you – spastic, disoriented, glued to you as if you could explain your current predicament. You drown in them for a moment, pained, mournful that you’ve failed to fulfill both your duties.

Not a good hound. Fucking useless.

The prey got away, your keeper is soon to be a splatter of intestines on the ground below.

Good for nothing you are. Failed at everything. Can’t even save your own Lieutenant.

“Hound! Fucking hell, we – ”

Your jaw tightens, and your skin crawls once you’re close enough to discern the peculiar cracks in the sidewalk, you’re that close now. Doom, there’s nothing left but to die.

No. You refuse. If not for yourself, then for Ghost. You can’t lose him. You’ll sacrifice everything for him.

In a last attempt at being a hero, you struggle in the air, against the howling wind that screams bloody murder in your ears. You fiddle spasmodically, manage to clumsily maneuver both of you, deaf to the breathless curses slipping past his mask. You thrust him sideways, fling him into a window hard enough to make it give in under his weight. He breaks through back first, you hear him choke as he hits and skids on the carpeted floor with a deft thud.

You nearly smile, a contrast at his horrified expression as he realizes the situation – your maskless face, your bloodied limb, it’s only for a split second before you’re back to hurtling down without him. You hear a scream of your name, the intimate one, the real one.

Your eyes water anew, maybe from the air, maybe from him calling out to you in what sounds like spastic worry.

One good hand was all you needed.

You’re free now. You fulfilled your duty.

Everything hurts, you feel your entire being imprinted into the roof of a car, having squished it in the impact. Blood coats your tongue, your throat feels crushed. You’re choking for air quietly, your body desperately trying to repair all damages but failing because your mouth and nose can’t gulp enough oxygen no matter how greedily you’re breathing.

Sprawled out, the sky swirls high above your head, gazed at through blurry vision. Stars twinkle like smudged jewels, the moon is nowhere to be seen and for a moment you feel alone and at peace. It doesn’t matter that you’re molded into a random car with shattered bones and punctured lungs.

Maybe there are witnesses, maybe the streets are empty, you’re unsure, the screaming in your ears is punching at your eardrums and you can’t make out anything.

A peaceful death after years of war is what you wish for.

The cold creeps over your skin, through your gear, its caress soothing against your steaming flesh.

A splotch of creamy whine enters your vision, poking from one of the shattered windows. A skull mask, you recognize it even with both eyes and mind hazy and drunk on scalding pain. You’d reach out if you could, your first instinct demands you to do so, reach out to Ghost, reunite as leal hound and loving master once more. But you can’t, your body refuses to budge, a twitch of your fingers is all you can muster.

A cough rips through you, excruciating, and more stomach-churning iron rushes over your sticky tongue.

Will he remember you? Will he mourn you if you pass? Will he miss you? Will your absence leave yet another scar for him to nurture? Will he ever forgive you for sacrificing yourself for him?

Does it matter?

Not really…

But it does.

Somewhere deep within the crooks and crevices of your heart, it does matter to you, if only a little.

Your eyelids are heavy and you’ve not the strength to keep them open anymore. The chill air is so welcoming, lulls you and tugs you towards the comforts of slumber.

You hear a rasp, his voice echoing, deep and baritone as he disappears somewhere in the darkness.

You can’t stay conscious anymore no matter how desperately he begs you. You’re tired, just want to sleep, you’re aching, you want out of the pain, out of responsibilities and bloodshed.

This feels nice. Oblivion is welcoming.

The cold dissipates, and everything goes dark. You take one last meager breath and succumb to blackened dreams and fleeting pictures, sprawled vastly on the surface of your mind as your body gives out completely.

<<< Chapter 2

Chapter 4 >>>

Masterlist

[chefkids]

Spoon Theory

This is arguably the single most important The Bear meta post I will ever make so please bear with me.

The first spoon we see in the entire series is when Carmy takes Sydney's spoon to try her stew. This is right after he cut his hand from not being able to find his sharp knife, and before he has to meet with Natalie to get Mikey's jacket, which was stressing him out. She "gave him a spoon" and a bit of positivity when he needed to calm down and get some energy by knowing at the very least Sydney can cook well.

Needing a spoon is needing help. When he hands over the brigade to Sydney he is waving around spoons the entire episode, when she really needed his help and his "spoons". Later on Sydney is not afraid to just ask him for his help.

With the risotto she gave him a "spoon" that would help the restaurant, that brought in a good review and customers, but he didn't have enough of his own "spoons" to deal with it as he was stressing out over the window that just got shot through and the IRS needing the missing tax returns. Right before trying the risotto Carmy had told Richie he is afraid of something good happening. He is afraid of Sydney and him doing well, because the better it gets the more it will hurt him when something goes wrong. That is why he keeps self sabotaging the restaurant and doubting Sydney.

After Sydney quit, she is still using her spoons for mental energy to make sure Marcus is okay and to try and figure out her next steps career wise. Carmy grabbed a spoon to open the tomato can lid, which he really didn't need because he could've just used the can opener, and then found the money. When he finds the money they both know they would be fine on their own, she could find another job, he could fix up The Beef. But they still need each others emotional spoons to achieve their passions, so he reaches out and she comes back.

In Season 2 she did need his "spoons" to help create the menu and decide on the details for the restaurant, but he barely gave her any because he was still so caught up in his past trauma and the literal and metaphorical forks in his life.

Fixing the table really didn't physically need more than one "spoon"/person. But he needed her there to work through his mental block. With the inspiration food tour, she did it on her own and she didn't physically need him for it, she needed his emotional spoons.

When they are not communicating well with each other and Carmy is trying to reach back and be involved again, he gets as close as he can to her spoon without actually using it.

And now the dark side of spoons.

The originator of spoon theory has lupus and first came up with this theory at a restaurant to explain what it was like living with the condition to a friend. They could've easily said Sydney's mom died of cancer or an accident or anything else. But this is all so intentional, out of all the things it is Lupus. I don't want Sydney to be sick as much as the next person, but Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease that has higher likelihood of developing when you have a family member with it, and can be triggered by environmental factors such as stress. It is an invisible illness and Christine's own handle is butyoudontlooksick, which could really explain Sydney and what she has going on behind her walls that people can't see. She has been a rock to so many people and over exerting herself, but there might come a time soon when Sydney will genuinely need other peoples "spoons", especially Carmy's, because she's all out.

Now that Carmy said he is choosing to give Syd his focus aka his "spoons", will he actually be able to follow through?

Read The Fork Theory next

Read The Knife Theory

[vrachis]

imagine.... bronya rand coming home to you after a hard day at work and the asks you to indulge that same evening but then you'd end up with her unable to walk properly the next day (･o･;)

srsly like, I need more sub Bronya content but the focus is more on the hsr boys ( ･ั﹏･ั)

- 🥓 anon

yes, fr we need more bronya content,,, she's too babygirl to not be having content.

you notice bronya coming home much more late each day, and it strikes worry into you. even though you know she’s the newly appointed supreme guardian with countless duties, bronya was still a human being. a person capable of feeling a whole heap of emotions.

and that’s what worried you the most. worried that your lover would be overworking and exerting herself too much.

you just simply had to do something about it :(

so taking the time to prepare yourself to chat with her as she comes home, she closes the door behind her and slumps on the couch nearby. of course she notices, just simply don’t have the energy to greet you. she just mouths a simple “hi”, and buries her head into the velvety material of the couch.

you cross you arms and look at her so concerningly, that you weren’t in the mood to give her a proper greeting and instead moving on to lecture her.

going over the basics of self care and taking breaks every now and then, bronya listened to your rant very carefully ; word per word despite her looking like she wasn’t doing so. she was exhausted, really, and she regrets it. she really does.

so while you were done, she sits up and looks at you, staring into you with such deep appreciation and guilt.

then her head lowers in shame, worried that you’d pay her no mind just right after that. but all those worries were swept out of her mind when she the couch dip and a pair of arms around her.

she tries to mouth out a few words, but all she can afford to do is say , “i’m sorry.”

you pull away and you look at her deep in the eyes, and muster up a small smile.

“i too, am sorry for rambling just now. i was simply worried about you…” you trailed off. “i just didn’t like the fact you hadn’t been taking yourself, and i understand your work and duties.” you hug her once again. “but you’re still bronya. no matter if you are the supreme guardian of belobog, you’re still you. and you’re still my lover.”

bronya gasps and immediately turns towards you, clearly too speechless and moved by your words. she didn’t want to say anything to ruin the moment, only clinging on to you as you appreciated her.

then suddenly you pull away, and your voice lowers to a tone seemingly to have been laced with a bit of lust.

“if you can’t even take care of yourself that way, then maybe i should be taking care of you instead.” your hands moves up to her cheek, stroking her soft skin before trailing off to her platinum tresses, possessively caressing her.

her breath hitches and her body starts to become warm, slowly melting into your touch.

“your work meddles so much that i can’t even have time with my sweet girl.” you say in disappointment.

“what do you… plan to do then?” she whispers under her breath.

you smile at her. “you don’t mind if— i keep you for a few days, hm?” her cheeks turn red at your words, and she gives you nod.

“most certainly.”

the same night, you really didn’t joke around. your purpose was to keep her with you, and you never let her go.

ensuring that she wouldn’t be able to get away from you for a few days, you had fucked her rough, and senseless.

there were a couple complaints of her not being able to feel her lower body, but did you honestly care? the answer was obviously : no.

but even so, you made sure to give her proper aftercare after going at it for a few hours or so.

you smile to yourself the moment you wake up. because as soon as you turned to your side, you were greeted with the beautiful face your beloved basked in the morning light.

you shift and place a hand softly on her cheek, avoiding waking her up.

a feeling of pride swells within you, and you sigh.

guess she really is going to stay with you for a while, and you made sure to make the best out of it.

————

a/n : would you guys believe me if i said i wrote this in the shower?

[sandboxer]

Why Phoenix and Edgeworth are exceptionally well-suited for kink

The short answer: because they’ve been doing it together for the entirety of their professional lives.

The long answer: because they’ve been doing it together for the entirety of their professional lives.

After the events of 1-4 (and to some extent 2-4), Phoenix and Edgeworth regard one another as friends. Edgeworth begins to help Phoenix in investigations, they treat each other with (relative) kindness, and they see one another outside of work.

In court, though, little changes from their first encounter to their last. The two remain antagonistic—and at times, almost nasty—toward one another.

To me, this dichotomy looks a lot like kink.

There is nothing tender or kindred about their interactions in the courtroom. Their court scenes are seldom wholesome or sweet. Instead, each man pushes the other to the brink of their abilities so as to reach an ultimately Good goal—a climax, a just verdict. And often the path there is not paved in kindness. Edgeworth does not cease his insults, and Phoenix doesn’t lose the urge to triumph over Edgeworth. So does the courtroom magically trigger some kind of latent hatred in the pair?

Clearly, this isn’t the case. Rather, it is because of the profound respect they have for one another’s abilities that they are able to have heated arguments in court and trust that the other will turn the content into some sort of logical conclusion or use the momentum to piece together evidence. Their in-court personas maintain a sort of hostility/antagonism throughout their association, not only despite their friendship, but because of it.

And is this not kink? Is kink not the assumption of roles or dynamics that may be unpleasant outside of a scene, but serve a wonderful purpose within it? Is kink not the exorcism of strong emotions within agreed upon boundaries? Is kink not pushing one’s partner to the brink of their desires and abilities, armed with the knowledge that 1) it is acceptable to do so and 2) the activity will conclude in some sort of satisfying ending as a result of the exertion?

Consider this passage from The New Topping Book:

Play pushes both top and bottom out to the far ends of the spectrum. Each player, in traveling further out, supports the other in going yet further. Thus as a wonderful scene progresses, the bottoms get smaller, the tops get bigger, and the larger the territory we encompass: we move to the outer ends of the spectrum, generating something like centrifugal force, spinning further and further out while holding each other safe and tight.

In pushing each other out further toward the bounds of their comfort and intellectual abilities, Phoenix and Edgeworth generate this same kind of force. It’s like pulling a rubber band taut, only so that you may let go and feel it snap. The two-handed pull gets converted into energy. When it’s time to let go, both men let the band snap, and the energy they’ve created is released. The case is won or lost, whatever the result of their joint effort. Their reciprocal pull out to the furthest ends of their comfort is crucial to reaching the correct verdict. Such is kink—the eroticism of extremes and the otherwise unacceptable, so that the rubber band can snap that much harder.

I see a lot of parallels between their dynamics inside and out of the courtroom and a couple who gets off on, for example, sadomasochism. For these two, court is kink. It is a bounded realm of unpleasantness brandished for the heightened reward it produces. It is assumed personas that cut deep into the heart of their wielder. It is the trust that outside of that bounded context, those assumed personalities may dissolve, and the dynamic need not persist.