#if you can’t tell my game keeps crashing for some reason today and I can’t figure out why with every mod and guide known to man
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dykedvonte · 7 months ago
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Fallout New Crashes
#this is a post of rage hurt and betrayal that is not quantifiable#Bethany Estha Oobleck are developers that love toying with my emotions like I’m a wind up Easter toy#twisting my key until it’s a struggle even for them but they don’t stop#not until they can’t turn anymore but they do not set me down when they let go#they hold me just above it so close my little plastic feet just barely scrap the floor#incessant the sound is scrapping as all the wound up energy is exerted#as I run in the water swim in the air all meaning I go no where#and just then I dropped and I teeter but I do not fall I run as far as I can with whatever is left#but there isn’t much progress there never is#an inch or so is made as my key stops and my legs do as well not tired but unable to move until wound again#and they do and the cycle repeats and by the time I run#a plastic wobble all the way there I can only ask if it was worth it#if letting them play with me like I was the game was worth seeing the screen of my pip boy again#helping Boone settle his loathing and Arcade come to terms#Cass look to the future and Veronica to make her own#Raul find new purpose and Lily to make up her mind or keep it#to save Rex and Ede to improve the Mojave#and I say yes it is#and then I am picked up and carried back for it will begin again#if you can’t tell my game keeps crashing for some reason today and I can’t figure out why with every mod and guide known to man#and it’s making me deranged cause it’s all I wanted to do toady and night#fallout#fallout new vegas
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speedane · 1 year ago
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Sugar Crash
Prompt: "wtf Q" (this prompt was taken randomly)
Tags: slight mentions of drugs and addiction
Summary: Sugar, in moderation, can improve one's mood. Of course, anything in excess is bad.
I don't usually write, but content drought has pushed me to pick it up again.
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Life has its ups and down. When faced with comfort, there is no reason to worry about tomorrow. Live, laugh, love, they say. Everything becomes some sort of a game. Time tends to pass by so quickly when having fun… that sometimes it becomes too noticeable when things start crashing down.
“Everyone wants to be a critic these days! Nothing is enough for these people!”
When faced with hardships, people had to cope. There are different ways to deal with stress. Some sleep it off, others resort to vices, while some…. consume copious amounts of sugar. 
“When I’m sad, I eat candies to make myself better! Or cake… mmm cake.”
Sugar can improve someone’s mood occasionally. There is nothing wrong with eating sweets once in a while. Of course, excess leads to ruin. 
“What do you mean you splurged your money on sweets??”
“I’ve had a tough week, let me have this Brynn!”
“Q!!”
Relying on sugar to manage your emotions could cause adverse effects to the body. Like a drug, you get stuck in a loop that your brain and body wouldn’t want. 
“Mr. Q, I do not advise too much sugary sweets...”
“It’s my cheat day today, old man! Leave me alone!”
“I’ll prepare you some tea then.”
Sugar as a stress-suppressant makes you overly-dependent on it. You pick it up once, and it was the most exceptional feeling ever. You pick it up a second time, and it wouldn’t be the same as the first one despite still feeling good. In hopes of feeling that same level of happiness again, you’ll keep consuming more sugar to satiate yourself in the short-term. 
“Hey, you didn’t tell us you’ll be having cake!”
“Look David, there’s gum drops, chocolates, soda, and gummy worms too!”
“Hey hey! Don’t touch those without asking me!”
“Whoa hey, no need to be snappy…”
At a certain level, there will be a time where sugar can no longer make you happy. You would feel terrible, like you’ve hit rock bottom. But your body has become too reliant on sweets that it crashes along with your mood. Lack of control could lead to disastrous results. 
“Goodness, Q, what is all this..?”
“I don’t feel so good…”
“Did you try consuming all of this into your tiny little body?”
Sugar must be consumed in moderation. Like any other coping mechanism, it’s not meant to make problems magically disappear.
 
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I just want to make people happy… but whatever I do, it’s not enough!”
“Calm down, don’t start throwing stuff now!”
Hardships are meant to be shared, and one man can never handle a burden alone. There is no shame in admitting you need help. Humans are not solitary species, after all. 
“Ashley, I’m sorry..”
“I can sense that you are having a tough day.”
“My body really feels terrible right now… I can’t move my legs.. urk..”
“No more eating sweets for you for a week or two… Don’t worry, I’ll carry you to the infirmary.”
You may not feel good today, nor even tomorrow. But nothing stays down forever. 
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Sorry for the chaotic writing, but I need to drag you all into total chaos in the most effective way possible. :D
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marchtomydrums · 2 years ago
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Please Don't Leave
Cordelia Goode x Mina Venable x Reader(Daughter)
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Today was not a good day. Both of your mothers have been snapping at each other throughout the day. Leaving the Acadamy filled with tension. They didn't usually fight but for some reason, both were on high alert today.
You tried your best to stay away from it and played in the halls with the other girls. You and Zoe were running back and forth chasing each other in a game of tag. You were running as fast as you could to get away from her. She's already won twice now and you didn't want to lose. You pick up speed as you turn the corner into the kitchen crashing straight into Mina.
You gasped as your body collided with hers. The force knocked you down on your butt and sent mina’s tea cup crashing down on the floor around you.
“ Dammit, girls!” the redhead shouts.
“What have I told you about running in the house?! “
The two of you bow your heads at the sound of her voice. Tears fill your eyes as Mina continues to yell.
“Look at this mess!” she screams.
“I'm sorry Mina,” you whispered keeping your eyes low.
“Sorry isn't going to cut it y/n you're old enough to know better! I've told you countless times. I'm done talking to you!”
“I...I didn't mean to.” you stuttered as tears roll down your cheeks.
“Get out of my sight before I punish you both! Now!!!” she screams.
Zoe takes off quickly heading to her room running past a confused Myrtle. You carefully get up trying to dodge the glass around you. A hand reaches down to help you up. You look up to see your Auntie Myrtle.
“Let me help your sweetness.” She says gently as you stand to your feet.
“Momma,” you called out looking over at your mother.
The redhead sighs “ I mean it y/n! Go!” she screams.
You hang your head low as you walk past Myrtle.
“ Wilhelmina…are you alright?” Myrtle asked.
“No.” She sighs.
“I’m stressed. Cordelia is stressed. This house is filled with people all day every day. And I just wanted one moment of peace and look at this mess!”
“They’re children Mina. They didn’t mean it.”
“I know. But sometimes I wonder if I can do this…”
“Do what dear?”
“This! Being here. Being responsible for Cordelia and y/n. Being responsible for these girls. Sometimes it’s just too much. Sometimes I just want to run away from it all. I can’t do this…“ she cries.
You gasped quietly as you listened from behind the door your tears increasing at her words. Mina didn’t want to be here anymore and it’s your fault. You sobbed as you ran off to your room.
Myrtle sighed as she walks closer to Mina resting her hand on her shoulder.
“Dear these girls love you, Delia loves you, y/n loves you. It’s just a bad day is all. You’re doing a wonderful job, Mina. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
Mina smiles “Your right. I love them all so much. I’d be lost without Cordelia and y/n. I just lost it for a moment.”
“It happens, dear. Let’s clean up this mess okay?”
Mina gives her a small smile as she nods her head and begins to clean up the broken glass.
You stayed in your room for the rest of the day. Zoe tried to get you to come down for dinner but you told her no. You didn't want to see Mina. Your heart hurt as you replayed her words. She's never yelled at you before. You knew better than to play in the halls and now because you didn’t listen Mina was going to leave. Your mom is going to be so sad. And it’s all your fault. You sighed as you curled into your pillow crying softly.
Moments later the door opens.
“Sweetheart,” Cordelia calls out to you. You ignored her.
“Honey dinner is almost over. Are you coming down?”
“No thank you,” you whispered.
“Aren't you hungry?”
“No.”
“Are you sick?” she asked.
“No. I'm just not hungry. I just want to sleep.”
“Okay. Well, I'll be in my room if you need me. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“I love you,” she whispered.
“Love you too,” you whispered back as she closed the door.
You sighed to yourself. Part of you wanted to tell her what happened. But you also didn't want to cause your mothers to fight anymore. Plus Mina was already upset with you. So you closed your eyes praying for sleep. Eventually, you dosed off.
The next morning you woke up with a massive headache from crying all night. Your head throbbed and your eyes were red and puffy.
You quickly got dressed for breakfast wondering if Mina would be there or if she already left. Your heart hurt thinking about what your life would be like without your Momma. Making your way downstairs you sit at the table waiting for the rest of the girls to join. Cordelia walks in kissing your forehead.
“Good morning love.”
“Morning.” You mumbled.
Mina walks in right after smiling at you.
“Good morning little one.” she smiles.
You duck your head low avoiding her eyes. Mina looks over at Cordelia who just shrugged her shoulders.
Throughout breakfast, Mina tries to interact with you but you ignored her. Cordelia takes notice reaching her hand out to comfort the redhead. Once breakfast was over Cordelia excuses the girls.
You get up quickly to join the other girls when Cordelia calls you back.
“Y/n stay here please.”
You sighed sitting back down. Once everyone cleared out it was only the three of you left she speaks.
“Y/n is there a reason you're being so cold towards Momma this morning?” she asked.
You shake your head no keeping your eyes low.
“Well, there must be a reason you've barely said two words to her.”
“I'm sorry,” you whispered.
Your mothers sigh as they share a look. Mina reaches over the table.
“Little one look at me please,” she begged.
You lift your head slowly with tears.
“Little one if this is about yesterday I am truly sorry. I was having a bad day and I took it out on you and Zoe. You were just playing as children do and it wasn't right for me to yell at you.” she says.
You nod your head still not talking making them sigh once more.
“Baby talk to me, please,” Mina begs.
“Are you going to leave now? ” you mumbled.
“What?” she asked.
You lift your head to look at her. “ I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. Please don’t leave.“ you cry.
Cordelia looks at Mina in confusion.
“My love what are you talking about?”
“I heard what you said to Auntie Myrtle,” you said to Mina making her gasp.
“I promise I’ll be good. Just don’t leave momma please.” you cried harder breaking both of your mother's hearts.
Mina's eyes filled with tears as she shakes her head. “I didn't mean any of that. I'm so sorry you heard that baby. I’m not going anywhere. I was just having a bad day.” she cries.
Cordelia reaches her hand across the table grabbing yours. “Baby why didn't you talk to me about this last night?”
“I was afraid.” you cried.
“Why?” she asked.
“I didn't want you two to fight anymore. And Mina was already mad at me.” You said lowering your eyes to the floor.
Mina sighs as she gets up from her seat walking around the table she kneels down in front of you with the help of Cordelia.
“Look at me,” she says softly. You raise your head looking at her.
“I love you so much. And I'm so sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I took my stress out on you and I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me or your mother. I’m not going anywhere little one. This is my home. You and your mother are my home. I never wanted to make you feel like you had to change who you are for me or anyone else to stay. You don’t. You’re perfect just the way you are. And I love you very much. I’d be lost without you. I’m so sorry baby.” She cries cradling your little face in her hands.
You lunged forward into arms almost knocking her down but Cordelia was quick to catch her.
“I love you, momma. So so much. I didn’t mean to break your teacup. I promise to listen better. I just don’t want you to leave.”
Mina cradles you in her arms holding you tight. “I’m not leaving baby. I would never leave you. Don't worry about the teacup it wasn’t even my favorite one.” She chuckles.
“But you were so mad at me.” You cried.
“No little one I was mad at myself. I was mad that I acted that way. I was stressed and I hurt you in the process. I felt like a bad mom. And in return, I said some things that I didn’t mean.”
“You aren’t a bad mom. You’re the best mom. It was my fault.” you cried wrapping your arms around her neck.
“Look at me..”
“It wasn’t your fault okay? I love you, baby. I would never leave you. You’re my whole world. I’m so sorry baby. Can you forgive me?”
“Yes, momma.” you smiled as she kissed your cheek pulling you back into a hug.
“My sweet girl. I love you so much. I’m sorry.” She cries holding you tight. Cordelia smiles and she cries as well holding you both in her arms.
After a while, Mina shifts her weight and you knew it was because of her back.
“I’m sorry Momma. I’ll help you up.” You said offering her your hand.
She takes it as you and Cordelia help her up. Keeping your hand in hers she walks you and Cordelia over to the couch. Sitting down she pulls you into her lap and Cordelia to her side. You snuggled deep into her listening to her steady heartbeat.
“I love you both so much. And I will always be here for you both. Forever and Always.” She whispered kissing your forehead before looking over at Cordelia.
Cordelia smiles as they kiss each other softly. “Forever and Always my love.”
“Don't ever leave me, momma. Promise,” you asked looking up at her.
“I promise little one. I'm not going anywhere.”
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romanstheory · 3 years ago
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Day One a Jimmy Uso One Shot
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Warnings : Smut, Breeding Kink, Fluff
18 +
Word Count : 931
Today is my 10 year high school reunion. Time has flown by, and I haven’t talked to many people since graduation. We all just kind of went our separate ways. Some starting families, some perusing careers. I had built a great life for myself in those 10 years, but for some reason the thought of going to this reunion put my stomach in knots. I was excited to see my old crew, but so nervous at the same time. What if they don’t remember me? What if we don’t have anything in common anymore? Thoughts raced through my head as I was finishing my makeup. I look down at my phone “Oh shit! I’m gonna be late!”
I rush out of the door pressing the remote start button on my car remote. I give myself a pep talk the entire 20 minute drive to my old high school. It feels weird being back here, so I sit in the car for a little bit longer. “Okay Y/N you can do this, it won’t be that bad” I say to myself. I get out of the car and walk into the building with my guard up. I don’t really recognize anyone so I go find a table in the corner to scope out anyone I might know. “AYYEEEEEE Y/N How you doin’ uce!” I hear an oddly familiar voice shout from across the room. “I look up and it’s none other than Jimmy, my high school best friend leading our old crew to me from across the gymnasium. “Jimmy! It’s so good to see you!” I smile as I walk over to him and our crew. Of course you can’t have Jimmy without Jey “Hey Jey! You look great!” I say as I hug them both.
“It’s been a minute, you look great per usual though!” Jimmy says trailing his eyes up and down my figure. Jimmy had this way of making me feel all warm inside, he always has. “How are things in WWE going? You know you and Jey are like hometown heroes at this point” I chuckle. “You know..... taking it one day at a time with the ‘trial chief’“ He responds mockingly. “What have you been doing after graduation? It sucks that we lost contact”. I was dreading this question, especially from him. “Oh, I’m actually a teacher” I say looking at the floor. He noticed I wasn’t very confident in what I was saying to him, he noticed everything. “You gotta hold your head up high when you say that, uce. Without teachers we wouldn’t have doctors, scientists, or any of that. You’re amazing” He reassures me.
Jimmy always had this way of making me feel so secure and confident while he was around. I guess I had been looking for that in someone else but my single status proves I haven’t found that. “Let’s go sit” Jimmy says guiding the small of my back to a nearby table. We spend what seems like forever catching up and reflecting on our high school years together. Everything from football games to him being my prom date. Soon the reunion was over, so I invited Jimmy back to my place to keep catching up.
We get comfortable on the sofa, and he looks at me with a look I hadn’t see him give me in years. “Y/N can I be totally honest with you” Jimmy says just above a whisper. “Yeah of course, what’s up?” I reply. Something is bothering him, I can tell by his body language. “Ever since we were teenagers I’ve been in love with you, and I thought I was over it until today. Then I realized it never went away.” Jimmy says rushing through his sentence. I was shocked..... because I felt the same way. “I’ve always loved you, but I figured there’s no way you felt the same” I responded stumbling over my words. Jimmy doesn’t respond, he licks his lips, pulls me closer and starts making out with me.
Our lips crash with so much passion, it was like fireworks. I tug at his shirt and he pulls it off, exposing his athletic body. Soon after I pull my shirt and victoria’s secret bra off exposing my plump breasts. He shifts his weight on top of me, never breaking the kiss and he claws at his belt to pull his pants down. I slide my leggings off, and we crash together, skin to skin as I rub my hands along his tattoos. “You’re so sexy Y/N” he says between kisses. He inches himself inside of me slowly as my vagina tightens around him huge member. “Shit!” Jimmy moans as I wrap my legs around him. His strokes are deep and passionate, making my body crave for more with every movement. Moans and whimpers escape my lips effortlessly.
I feel myself reaching my climax as he continues to stroke with so much care and passion. He licks and sucks on my neck to drive me crazy and I moan louder than ever before as I cream all over him. The pure sight of me having so much pleasure made Jimmy whimper “Fuck i’m almost there” He yells. “I want you to fill me” I moan riding out my orgasm. I can see the veins bulging in his arms as he fills me with his warm seed and collapses on top of me, not putting all of his weight on me. He lifts his head up and kisses me sloppily but still passionate. Needless to say I am glad I went to that reunion.
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citrus-simp · 3 years ago
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Hope everything is okay. I just wanted to say I love your writing and both blogs :) if you ever do open requests again, and even if you do you don’t have to write this. But how about a drabble of levi and his wife who have 2 sons and 1 daughter named Kutchel who is 3/4. Levi loves all his kids but kinda has a soft spot for kutchel🥺 and sometimes her brothers exclude her from play n are mean to her so she comes up to him trembling like “why won’t they play w me daddy”. Cue levi. Rest is up to u.
{AN}-> first of all, thank you so much for the love and support and of course for reading my work! And yes I am doing better thank you for the wishes! I am and ULTIMATE simp for papa Levi!
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"I'm home" Levi called out as he slipped out of his work shoes and hung his blazer
"Dad! Look what I won today at practice!"
"Dad look at the grade I got o my test today!" your sons yell as they ran to their father holding up objects for him to look at.
Your eldest Liam who was 8 showed him what his football coach gave him, at practice. He had done very well and had gotten a button that said MVP on it, he was very proud of himself. Eli, your younger son who was 6, wanted him to know how well he was doing in his classes. He was top of his class and loved to show you both how hard he worked
"Congrats to both of you, I'm proud of you both for working so hard," he said ruffling their hair, gaining a big smile from them both
"Welcome home, Levi" you popped in with Kutchel in your arms, pecking Levi's lips. Your youngest and only daughter, Kutchel. She was 3, and definitely had Levi wrapped around her little finger.
The thing was, not only was she named after his mother, she looked so much like her! Of course, she had certain things from you but her eye shape, and nose were from his mother. Unfortunately, Levi lost his mother before Kutchel was born. It took a toll on him, all the things she had done to care for him, her sacrifice, everything.
He felt as though he was never able to repay her. Next thing you know about a year later, you found out about your pregnancy, with your first girl. The day she was born, Levi felt something he never had before. It was almost like he had completely healed from his loss when he looked at her.
"Papa!" she reached out for her father to take her, which he gladly did
"Hey there princess," he said kissing her chubby cheek "what did you do today?"
"Me and mama went to the park and I fed the birdies," she said with a rosy smile.
"Oh look at you doing big girl things! I'm so proud of you princess." he smiled at her and raised her above his head. Her brothers watching a bit disappointed from a distance.
Did they hate their sister? No. Their parents taught them to respect and love their sister, which they did. But at their age, jealousy was something big among siblings. Seeing how their father would be more affectionate towards their sister made them feel different. They saw that their father would gravitate more to their sister than to them. Or he would put her first before them when asked to spend time with them.
Of course, you had noticed this way before time. You had asked him when you were pregnant with Eli that he wouldn't have favorites and love all your kids equally. You knew that could make a bad relationship with his kids and between siblings so you wanted to avoid it. Sometimes you'd step in and try to give your sons the same praise, but of course, they still wanted their father's attention.
"Liam why don't you go and find a nice place to put that MVP button in your room, like a trophy" you try and lighten the mood "and Eli, I'm sure I have a frame for that test of yours" thank the god it actually worked as both boys run in different directions for each of their own things to do.
"Levi, did you see the boys' accomplishments?' you ask
"Y/N, I know where you're going with this. I paid attention to all of them, Liam is doing great in football, and Eli is practically a genius," he said putting down Kutchel
"*sigh* I know I just-"
"Want no one hurt I know, well how about you meet me in the kitchen and we can talk it out alright? Kutchel sweetheart, why don't you go and play with your brothers while I talk with mommy okay?" he said ruffling her hair
" 'Kay!" she said running up the stairs to where she'd find her brothers most likely.
"And what would this talk be about?" you ask raising an eyebrow as his hands found your waist
"Oh just about how I have some time to kiss you properly~"
>
" 'iam" Kutchel said as she enters his room, Eli in the same as they played together "can I pway with you and E-i?"
"No Kutchel, go away" Liam sneered "we don't play with babies"
"I'm not a baby!" she pouted
"Go away Kutchel, you're not smart enough to play this game either way," Eli said motioning to the board where he and his brother were playing chess "Maybe dad wants your company" Eli may be smart but he also got his father's sassy mouth
"B-but I wanna pway with you" he pouted trying not to cry as she sniffed
"Kutchel just go away, ugh you're so annoying when you cry"
"Yeah, and only babies cry."
"I-I not...a-a baby," she said as tears pooled in her eyes, of course, they would tease her playfully at times but this time Kutchel really did feel hurt
"Whatever, the only reason gives you so much attention is 'cause you were a mistake and he doesn't want you feeling bad" Eli sneered without thinking
"N-not true!" she stopped her feet as tears started to fall from her eyes, but she just couldn't handle any more ridicule from her brothers and left.
Meanwhile, you and Levi were in the kitchen caught in a makeout session when you heard a certain someone crying "Papa, mommy!"
It wasn't a regular call, she sounded hurt and heartbroken causing you both to separate quickly
"Kutchel, sweetheart what happened?" you ask as you kneel down and she crashes into your arm and lets out all her tears. Levi kneels beside you and strokes her back trying to comfort her some more
"P-papa, why won't 'iam let me play?" she asked her father as she peaked from your shoulder "T-they say I was a mistake.." she sniffed and you swore you could see the fire in his eyes. You stood up with Kutchel in your arms as Levi shot up and walked towards the stairs
"Levi! Levi, keep your anger in control, don't you dare-"
"Y/N, I won't do anything brash, but they can't say crap like that. I for sure didn't raise them this way. Just watch Kutchel, I'll talk to the boys"
Levi would NEVER lay a hand on his kids, but you didn't want him scolding either. However, they couldn't just say what they wanted to their sister thinking it was okay. Especially to the point of her crying.
"Come on baby, let's go watch the birds outside okay?"
Meanwhile, Levi is now knocking on Liam's door "Liam, Eli, come downstairs" he said while taking the lead waiting on them. He sat in a chair in front of the sofa and watched his sons take a seat. They looked like they knew what happened...
"Is there something you want to tell me? Like why Kutchel came to us crying? Asking if she was a mistake?" he said with a firm voice but not yelling at them. But enough to let them know he was very serious about the situation. Eli started to fidget with his fingers while looking down in his lap. Liam keeps eye contact with his father trying to keep a straight face.
"We didn't want to play with her so we said that so she'd leave..." Liam said
"That doesn't justify calling her a mistake. All three of you are here because your mother and I wanted you and we were happy as hell to have all of you."
"Even if you wanted all of us, it's not like you love all of us the same" Eli said crossing his arms
"Eli, that isn't-"
"you always put her first. Even if we come to you, whenever she comes you act more affectionate and happy with her just existing"
"We always have to do something just to get your attention...it sucks dad..." Liam added, "why can't you just love us how you love her?"
Levi was honestly hurt. He didn't want this to happen. He loved his sons to the moon and back. Maybe it was true that Kutchel got more attention from him but it didn't mean he didn't love them
"Boys, do you remember grandma?" Levi asked relaxing his posture a bit. Both boys nodded "Well, your sister looks a lot like my mother, it's why we gave her that name. I think I got attached to her in a way to cope with losing her. But I never want you to think I don't love you." he said kneeling in front of the two children
"The day you were both born were two of my happiest moments. You know I cried the first time you walked to me, Liam? And the day you told off Hanji made me laugh, Eli" he shared with them "I love Kutchel, but I also love you both to the end of my days. But I am sorry." he apologized opening his arms for them.
Hopping off the couch they have a warm group hug
"Alright, you two. I apologized but you still have some apologizing to do with your mother and sister," he said taking their hands and walking to the back porch where you sat with Kutchel
Levi clears his throat "You and Kutshcel have some visitors" he said with a nod to his hands
"Oh? What would these visitors like to say?" you ask in hope of a good outcome
"We're sorry we were mean to you Kutchel" Eli started
"Yeah, we didn't mean it, really. We were a little jealous but we never meant to hurt you. We love you" Liam followed
Kutchel pouted, not making eye contact "Really?" she asked
"Really really." they both offer a smile Kutchel jumps up from your arms and runs to hug her brothers. Walking over to Levi you kiss his shoulder and say
"Guess you'll be getting a reward for this accomplishment~"
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ynscrazylife · 3 years ago
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hi!! may i request hermione granger taking care of reader after reader gets injured from quidditch practice or a magic lesson gone wrong? thank you!!
The Warrior and the Knight  | h.g fluff fic
Summary: After getting hurt during Quidditch Practice, Hermione becomes a doctor for her girlfriend.
Authors Note: Thanks for requesting! I’m so excited to write for Harry Potter again.
Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)
Harry Potter Masterlist |  Main Masterlist
PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.
header c @/byblackswan
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Hermione Granger usually wasn’t a big fan of Quidditch. The crammed crowds, loud cheering, and especially the competitiveness stirring inside her and how disappointed she got when the opposite team scored against Gryffindor. She had been to far too many games of Harry’s for her liking and she did like seeing her friend play, but couldn’t deny the longing to be curled up in her dorm, reading.
That all changed when her girlfriend came along.
Hermione had met Y/N when she was coming to get Harry from practice so they could go to Hogsmeade one day. Y/N was their age but new to the team, playing as a chaser. She was immediately enchanted by the girl and found herself a blushing, blubbering mess. It didn’t take Harry too long to connect the dots and soon, he set them up to date, and they did.
Being with Y/N made Hermione incredibly happy. She quickly fell in love and wasn’t afraid, because Y/N had a tendency to calm her nerves and fill her with some courage instead.
Hermione found herself getting more and more eager at games, doing her best to keep her eyes on her girlfriend and how she zoomed every which way. Her cheers got louder. Her signs for Y/N and Harry (but mostly for Y/N) got bigger. And she truly enjoyed being a fan of Quidditch.
Which was why it wasn’t surprising to see Hermione climbing up the stands to sit at the Gryffindor’s team practice to watch. They had planned to go on a date afterwards, but Hermione finished her book and wanted to just see her girlfriend in all her glory and awe.
Her gaze immediately zeroed in on the fifth year in the Gryffindor jersey that was too big for her and watched as she zipped around. One second she had the Quaffle and the next it was soaring through the air to her teammate. Hermione smiled when her teammate caught it and scored. 
The game continued on with Y/N having little mistakes. She was dominating the field and Hermione was so captivated that she didn’t notice the Ravenclaw in the stands, wand out and muttering under his breath, focussing on the game, definitely for a different reason and not to watch the players, well, play.
After the Quaffle soared through the hoop again, the team’s keeper flew down, got it, and threw it back. Y/N, being the closest, went to get it but her broom decided to disobey her. When she tried to go down to catch the underhanded through, the broom jerked her upwards. She tried again but this time she was jerked to the side. Hermione began to notice and she frowned in concern while Harry, who was on the field, tried to fly over to her. 
In the amount of time that it took him, though, the broom was going even more wild. Y/N could tell that this wasn’t going to lighten up anytime soon and at this rate, it’d be near impossible for her to safely get onto another teammate’s broom. Making a quick decision, she decided to take matters into her own hands and, in an attempt to gain some control, directed her broom downwards. 
The jerking all about was starting to make Y/N dizzy, but she didn’t give up. It took longer than it normally would but finally, when Y/N was closer to the ground (and when she was trying to block out all her teammates’ words because she had to concentrate), the broom went even more wild. She wasn’t at the height she wanted to be and when she tried to go down even further, the broom sped up, causing her to crash into the ground. Y/N rolled forward and the broom’s end managed to stab her in her stomach, but the momentum she had caused her to roll to the side, breaking off from the broom, onto the grass. 
In a matter of seconds, the Gryffindor players had landed and Hermione was making her way onto the field as fast as she could. Harry was scanning the crowd, trying to figure out the source of this, but the other players all went to Y/N, trying to help her. Once Hermione got there, her protective instincts kicked in and she pushed them out of the way, not trusting them with healing spells. 
“Hey, hey,” Hermione tried to comfort Y/N, whose face was scrunched up in pain, in a soft voice which she usually didn’t have. “You’re gonna be okay, yeah? I’m gonna take you to Madam Pomfrey.” She pressed her hand against Y/N’s stomach. Thankfully, the wound wasn’t too deep, but it still hurt. 
“Madam Pomfrey can’t help. At least, not right now. I passed the Hospital Wing on my way over to practice - it’s filled with students with that nasty cold,” one of the Gryffindor chasers told the brunette. 
Hermione cursed under her breath but gave Y/N a smile, wanting to be strong for her. “Harry!” She called her friend over. “Help me get Y/N to my dorm. I’m at least competent in the practice of healing spells. I’ll help her out.” 
Harry nodded and they both helped Y/N walk to the dorm since she had also hurt her ankle. When they got there, Hermione stepped into the leader role. She got Y/N comfy on her bed and ordered Harry to get all the healing books he could from the library. After he left, she grabbed her wand and went to jump into action, but Y/N grabbed her hand softly, making Hermione pause, at first worried that something was wrong, and went to go ask all the questions until-
“Hey,” Y/N said, her voice gentle, gaze full of adoration. “Take a deep breath.”
Hermione shook her head. “You’re hurt - there’s no time.” 
Y/N just shrugged. “I’ll be okay . . . I just wanted to say, I’m glad you were at the practice today, and not just because I’m hurt,” she said. 
Hermione smiled, allowing herself to relax for a couple moments. “I’ll always be here for you, I hope you know that,” she replied, kissing Y/N’s forehead before taking a deep breath like her girlfriend told her to. She then straightened up and brought her wand out, healing her ankle (though it took a few tries) first.
Afterwards, she dealt with Y/N’s stomach wound. It wasn’t that bad, but she didn’t want it to get worse, which is why, after she used a spell to stop and clean the blood, she washed out the wound the Muggle way. Then, she conjured some bandages and bandaged her up tightly. 
“My warrior,” Hermione said as she got into the bed also, slipping under the covers. 
Y/N chuckled and leaned her head against Hermione’s shoulder. “My knight in shining armor,” she replied.
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Just so I could call you mine part 2 - Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader
It's finally here! I'm sorry for the wait, I've only really been able to write at night - my day's have been kinda busy at the moment. But it's finished. It's quite long so sorry about that. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as you enjoyed part 1:)
Also (following a theme here) this is loosely based off of the song 'Enough for you' by Oliva Rodrigo
* = time skip
Warnings: Swearing
Word Count: 3503
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It had been a month since the argument. Well, I say argument, but I think downfall of the one thing that made me want to get up in the morning would be more accurate. After I’d broken down on Emily’s shoulder that night, she took me back to her place. The whole time I was there, part of me kept wishing for the phone to ring and for it to be him. It didn’t feel real. For the first few days I clung to the shred of hope that he might pull me aside at work to apologise, tell me he was wrong and wanted me back. But seeing as this is my life, that opportunity never came. We hadn’t spoken since that night. Even on cases, he would find ways to avoid talking to me. I can’t say I blame him, he’s a shitty man. And when shitty men do shitty things, they tend to run from it.
I walked into the bullpen laughing with Garcia. All the girls had really looked after me and I couldn’t be more grateful.
“Hey there pretty ladies” Morgan said, sauntering over to us.
“Why hello there handsome. Here to make us yours?” Garcia replied playfully.
“Only if you’ll have me.” Morgan bantered. Garcia just laughed before heading to her cave.
“So how are you gorgeous?” He said throwing his arm round my shoulder.
“I’m doing good. In desperate need for coffee. Don’t get me wrong I love Garcia but after only 3 hours of sleep, her bubbliness this early on has taken it out of me” I explained as we headed to the coffee machine. Derek dropped his arm and stood next to me, allowing me to make my drink.
“Only three hours huh? You having trouble sleeping?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“No, I just choose to run on as little energy as possible.” I retorted sarcastically, prompting an eye roll from him.
“You know what I meant.”
“Yeah I do, it’s just” I sighed looking down at my coffee.
“Hey.” Derek nudged my arm slightly. “What’s on your mind?” I chewed at the inside of my cheek nervously before answering.
“I guess I’m still adjusting to sleeping by myself.” I admitted. Derek nodded, wearing a sympathetic look on his face. “It’s so stupid, I should be over this by now. I mean I am over him but it’s just certain things like…ugh I don’t know. It’s just stressful.” I ranted.
“It’s normal baby. You went from, what was it nine months?”
“Eleven.” I corrected.
“Right so you went from 11 months of having someone next to you all the time, to suddenly nothing. It’s bound to take some getting used to.” He reasoned. I knew he was right. But something about the way Hotch had essentially picked up where he left off with Haley made me feel so stupid for still being hung up over him.
“Come on, let’s go see if boy genius can tell us something fun.” Derek joked as we walked back to our desks.
***********************************************************************
The day was almost over, and we’d had no cases, which allowed us to sort through old case files and tidy things up. As boring as that may sound, it was actually a nice break from the horrors we see on a daily basis.
“Right.” Emily said, stretching back in her chair. “I think I’m gonna head out.”
“And leave me here with the men?” I replied, pretend fear laced in my voice.
“I’m so sorry honey. You can do it I believe in you” Emily joked. The boys just swapped an annoyed look. “Sergio awaits me, so I’ll see you all tomorrow.” She said collecting her things.
“Bye Em.” I called after her. But just as she was about to leave JJ rushed into the bullpen.
“Emily stops where you are.” Emily groaned and turned around.
“Jayje I swear to god if you tell us we have a case, as much as I love you, I will be hurling my bag at your head.” Emily said. JJ just laughed at her.
“No, it’s nothing bad guys, but Rossi has invited us to dinner.” She said smiling. The way she looked at us made it seem like she was looking for some type of reaction.
“Okay? Something special about today?” Derek asked.
“Yeah that’s nice of him and all JJ but I’m really tired. Sitting in a crowed Chinese restaurant really wasn’t really what I planned to do tonight” Emily replied. JJ sighed.
“Fine. I mean if none of you want to come back to Rossi’s mansion for a bite to eat then I get that. Have a nice night with your cat Em.” JJ turned to walk away but at the sound of us all scrambling out of our seats, she turned back and laughed.
“Screw Sergio I wanna explore this guy’s house.” Emily said walking over to JJ.
“God you lot are so nosy” She joked as we all walked down to the parking lot.
“What do you expect? The guys a mystery so if there’s an opportunity to snoop of course we’d take it.” I chuckled.
“I just wanna see if he has a first drafts of his books lying around. I can almost imagine how much he left out.” Reid piped up.
“Of course, that’s what you wanna see pretty boy” Derek said patting Reid on the shoulder. We all hoped into our separate cars to go home and change before re convening at Rossi’s.
******************************************************************
The night was going great. It was so nice to be able to just take a night off – eat, drink, chat – without the stress of a case looming over our heads. Not to mention Rossi’s house was incredibly impressive. I mean if I could somehow make this man my sugar daddy and inherit this place, I’d be on it in an instant. Aaron was here, which didn’t surprise me. But what did is how relaxed he was. I’d seen it all the time when we were together but somehow seeing it tonight felt strange. Almost as if he’d dismissed the whole situation.
“Okay I wasn’t that bad guys.” Emily protested, snapping me from my thoughts.
“You told Spencer you were going to kill him if he didn’t stop being so loud.” Hotch said.
“That’s understandable on a hangover.” Emily reason.
“Em, I was just turning the pages of my book.” Spencer replied laughing. Emily spluttered over her words, but nothing came out causing the rest of us to join spencer. Suddenly the doorbell rang out. We all looked around confused.
“We’re not expecting anyone else are we?” Garcia asked.
“Um” Aaron cleared his throat.
“I think I might know who that is.” My heart sunk as he got up and walked to the door. Everyone swapped a look, trying to catch my eye but I just starred ahead of me. He wouldn’t have actually invited her. Right?
“Hey honey.” Her voice travelled through the halls causing my heart to not only sink even further, but completely shatter in the process. At least at work I could block out the fact he was with her but now he was just rubbing salt in the wound. Emily finally caught my gaze and shot me a supportive look. I just nodded, offering a tight-lipped smile. Eventually the pair of them came back.
“Hey guys, you know Haley.” Hotch said, looking slightly uncomfortable. Everyone greeted her politely enough, but it didn’t take a profiler to feel the shift in the atmosphere.
“Let me get you a chair.” Rossi said, going to stand up. “No, it’s fine, I’ll just sit here” She stated before promptly positioning herself in Aaron’s lap. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I couldn’t watch this. The seven of us sat in a cripplingly awkward silence for a few moments before JJ finally spoke up.
“So, um Haley, how’s jack doing?” She asked politely. “Oh, he’s doing great. Very happy to have his daddy around a lot more now.” Haley responded in a smug tone. As she spoke, she glanced over at me. Clearly noticing my appearance, she threaded her fingers through Aaron’s hair. I averted my gaze, opting to study the details of Rossi’s floor. I heard Hotch clear his throat, almost as if he wanted her to stop. “
I’m glad he’s happy.” JJ replied.
“So am I. Before it was just so hard what with his job and, well – other arrangements – Aaron barely had time for his own son you know. But luckily that’s all been dealt with now.” Haley leant forward and I heard her placing a kiss on his cheek. I couldn’t take this anymore; she was clearly taunting me and as I much as I hated giving into her games – this was so much worse.
“Excuse me.” I said, standing up and heading towards the garden. It took everything inside of me not to break down right then and there. But the minute I reached the garden I lost it. The tears streamed down my face as I tried to quiet my sobs. My heart ached. It felt like everything was crashing down around me. My chest felt hollow. I thought I was over this, over him. I could feel my knees growing weak under me so opted to sit by the edge of the pool, in the hopes to grab some sense of normality. It was a nice night out. It was summer so still warm, but there was enough of a breeze to keep it bearable. I’m sure if looked up I would’ve been able to see the stars, but I was transfixed on the water. Suddenly I heard the back door open. I didn’t turn around, not wanting to face whoever it was.
“I’ve always wanted a pool.” Emily’s voice came from beside me. She sat down, placing her legs in the water next to mine. “I’d love to have this house too.” She stated taking in her surroundings. “What do you say, wanna take Rossi down together and claim all this for ourselves?” She asked nudging my arm. I let out a stiff chuckle but didn’t say anything. Emily took a deep breath before she spoke.
“I’m sorry you had to sit through that” Her voice was sincere. “I don’t know if Hotch invited her, or she just rocked up, but it was out of order either way.” I nodded not trusting my voice right now. “You should know, the rest of us were just as angry. Derek left a few moments after you. He went into the kitchen, but he didn’t come back. I had to send Spencer after to him just to check he wasn’t tearing the place up.” She said light-heartedly. That gave me some comfort, to know I wasn’t being overly sensitive. She let her words hang in the air for a moment and we enjoyed the stillness of the night.
“I just thought.” I began, my voice rough from crying. “That maybe it wasn’t real. Maybe they weren’t actually back together you know?” I turned my gaze towards Emily. She understood. That was one of my favourite things about her. No matter what the situation, whether she’d experienced it herself or not, she was always so deeply empathetic that it helped.
“Listen, nothing I say right now is going to make this any easier. Sure, I could sit here and tell you what a douche bag he’s being” I smiled at her words. “But I know that wouldn’t change anything for you. So, I’ve just come to let you know that we’re all here for you. Take as much time as you need, and when you feel comfortable, come back and join us inside.” She said squeezing my hand.
“Thank you Em. For everything.” She just smiled before standing up and heading inside. By this point I’d stopped crying. You know that moment of calm you experience right after you’ve stopped crying, just before the headache or tiredness kicks in, that is probably my favourite feeling. Which sounds somewhat depressing, but everything just feels so at ease in that moment. Unfortunately, I could not bask in it for long as I heard the back door slide open once again. Thinking it was Emily I called out to her.
“Please don’t tell me I’m going to come in there and see you forcing Rossi to sign us into his will.” I joked, turning around. But instead of being greeted with my friends’ heart-warming chuckle, I saw the man who’d caused this little escape to the garden. It was Aaron.
“Hotch.” I said surprised, scrambling to stand up.
“Hi.” He replied. He looked nervous, relentlessly fidgeting with his hands. It wasn’t normal.
“Why are you here?” I didn’t bother trying to make small talk. What would be the point?
“Um, well I…I just wanted to…” His voice trailed off as he looked to the ground. “Can we sit down?” He asked after a moment. I nodded and made my way over to the beautiful table Rossi had. Aaron sat down but didn’t say anything, just starred ahead of him.
“Are you going to talk or what?” I said bluntly. He looked surprised at my tone but cleared his throat before answering me.
“I just wanted to check on you.” His voice was low, almost as if he didn’t want me to hear what he was saying.
“Check on me?” I replied clearly irritated.
“Yeah I mean you just took off back there, so I wanted to make sure you were okay” He said literally looking anywhere but me. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He’d spent a whole month doing the most to avoid talking to me and now, not only he dangles his happiness in my face , but he also has the audacity to ask if I’m okay?
“Yeah I wonder why that is?” I shot back. Hotch went to reply but I cut him off. “No no let’s think about it. What could have possibly made me leave? Was it the fact that Derek telling a story? Nope that doesn’t seem to be it.” I said sarcastically. “Oh, maybe Spencer was rambling about something random? No doesn’t sound right? Gosh I just – I don’t know what it could have been. You got any ideas” I continued. Hotch starred at me, annoyed by my games but not enough to reply. “Wait I remember, it was the fact that my ex-boyfriend just wanted to shove the fact that he’s moved on and obviously didn’t give a fuck about me or our relationship further down my throat!” I concluded, standing up to leave.
“That is not fair.” He called after me. I stopped in my tracks, the anger growing inside of me.
“What? What about that is unfair to you?” I replied folding my arms over my chest.
“For you to say I didn’t care about our relationship” he said, his voice laced with annoyance. I scoffed at his words.
“Really? I think it’s perfectly fair considering how you’ve acted. It’s clear that you have no respect for me or what we were.”
“Just because I spend more time with Haley now doesn’t mean that I’ve just disregarded our entire relationship.” He sounded exasperated.
“Spend more time with her? Hotch she was practically fucking you on the chair in there.” I yelled. I’d tried so hard not to lose it but his lack of understanding right now was getting too much for me. “I loved you so much. I gave everything I had into that relationship, and you’ve thrown it all back in my face over one twisted story that your wife decided to spin.” I ran my fingers through my hair trying to calm down. The last thing I needed was for the rest of the team to hear this. Although I didn’t care if Haley did. That bitch. “I don’t know what I did wrong to make you choose her. Maybe I just wasn’t as interesting as her, but you could not have cared less about someone who loved you more. She dragged you down, manipulated you into believing it was your fault that she fucked those other guys. Or when she made you feel bad for choosing to stay in a job that literally makes the world as safer place for people like her or Jack. All I ever wanted was to support you and be there for you to lean on. I wanted to be that one person you could turn to when you felt like the world was crumbling down and you would feel okay. I just wanted to be enough for you. Because that’s what you were for me.” I ranted. Unfortunately, this time I’d been unable to hold back my tears, but I was hoping the darkness of the garden would hide that. Aaron looked crushed, almost guilty. Part of me hurt to seem him like that but another part reminded me he deserved it. I’d say he broke my heart, but he broke much more than that.
“You were that to me too.” He mumbled. His voice was so quiet I wasn’t sure I’d heard him. Clearly noticing my lack of response, he continued. “You meant so much to me and I can’t tell you how painful it’s been without you.”
“Doesn’t really seem like that” I scoffed. He sighed before walking over to me.
“Listen the thing with Haley-“
“If you’re about to tell me why you’re back together with her, please don’t. I can’t handle that right now.” I begged.
“No listen. We aren’t together.” His words took me by surprise.
“What?”
“The night everything kicked off, I’m not going to lie – I did believe her. I mean when she told me that you’d told JJ everything about the divorce, yeah I was mad. It took me so long to open up to you about that, you know the insecurities and the fact I thought Jack was going to resent me or not want me in his life. I trusted you and you just threw it out the window.” I starred at him in shock, unable to speak. Hotch being who he was picked up on my reaction. “What is it?” He asked.
“I can’t believe that’s what she told you.” I said utterly blown away by the fact that Haley was able to lie about something so huge with such ease.
“What do you mean? Are you trying to tell me that’s not what happened?” He sounded apprehensive.
“It couldn’t be further from the truth. She called me to ask where you were and when you’d be home. She must have thought I was lying because then she called JJ. JJ told her she knew she’d rung me and then she hung up.” I explained. Hotch looked just as confused. “I would never tell anyone those things Aaron. No matter how much you hurt me.” He didn’t reply. He looked so torn. “I tried to explain that to you on the night, but you weren’t listening.” I spoke. That caught his attention.
“I know I just felt so betrayed I guess it blinded me.” He replied. “The only reason I’ve stayed as close with her as I have recently is because she was going to keep me away from Jack. I know she had no solid grounds to hold that to and we could have taken it to court if it had gotten that bad, but fathers hardly ever win full custody. I didn’t want to risk it.” He explained. I nodded.
“I understand.” I got it. Jack was his world. And losing him might have just broken him. “
I can’t begin to explain how sorry I am that I let her get between us. I should’ve known, I-I should’ve trusted you.” He rambled. He begun pacing back and forth.
“Hey.” I reached out a grabbed his arm. “Yes you should have trusted me, I’m not going to act like what happened didn’t hurt. But you’re not a mind reader Aaron. You believed the first story you heard. I get it.” I reasoned. Tentatively, he reached out and took my hands in his, rubbing gentle circles with his thumbs.
“I missed you. Everyday.” He whispered.
“I did too. I loved you.” I replied softly. His gaze caught mine.
“Loved?” He asked his eyes wracked with worry.
“Part of me still does. I can’t just shut those feelings down. But what you did broke me. And I don’t want to risk that happening again.” I confessed. He nodded.
“I guess I’ll just have to prove myself to you. Because trust me, you’re all I want. And I’ll wait however long you need me to.” He replied. I smiled up at him and wrapped my arms around his neck as his arms travelled to my waist. Maybe we would get back together or eventually just drift apart, but right now I had my best friend back. And that’s all I cared about.
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after-witch · 4 years ago
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Take Flight [Yandere Nikolai Gogol x Reader]
Title: Take Flight [Yandere Nikolai Gogol x Reader]
Synopsis: You’re a fantastic actress when you’re on the stage. But your captor isn’t fooled when there’s no stage magic to hide your real feelings.
For request: request for anything with BSD!Gogol please!
Word Count: 1772
notes: Yandere, kidnapped, noncon implications, implied torture/physical abuse
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You look so beautiful when you’re immobile. Especially when you don’t know what you’ve done to deserve it, when your eyes are widened in fear, your mouth whimpering behind the tight cloth gag; your mind no doubt racing, searching for what you’ve done and why this is happening.
You look especially beautiful when he opens his coat and pulls out a few tools. He deliberately lays the hammer on the far end of the table, next to your feet. Now that makes you beautiful, as you cry out as much as possible behind the gag, some drool making its way past the increasingly soaked cloth your chin. Your muffled “no” is music.
He hates to clip your wings like this. But it’s only temporary. And, really, you’ve brought it upon yourself. Not by acting up--oh, no, definitely not that. He smiles to himself as he thinks about what a good birdie you’ve been lately. How obedient. How submissive. How sweet.
It took a lot of effort. A lot of punishment. A lot of pain. But on the surface, you’ve transformed into the sweet swan that he’s dreamed about keeping in a gilded cage. Literally and otherwise. Of course, he’s not that easily fooled--he knows you still hate him, fear him, on the inside. No matter how much you embrace him or let him have his way with you, no matter how much you try to please him with words and kisses, you’re still fighting him in your heart. Beating against your cage with your wings when his back is turned, as it were.
And you know something? It’s just not good enough. His life is already a game of duality. And he wants only a singularity with you, a single reality where you are broken and his for however long he wants to keep you. What would be the point of throwing you away when you’re still fighting him?
And thus, it’s only fitting that you’re currently bound to the table where you’ve received your other punishments. He’s not much of a cleaner, and there’s still the odd blood stain lodged in the wood grains. A handy table with straps on each end that keep your wrists and ankle immobile. He’s even given you a pillow, because why not, why not?
It’s easier when you’re tied up to see the real you underneath, the desperate, terrified person that only wants to stay alive. That only wants to avoid pain. The remnants of blood stains underneath you are a testament to that.
You do put on a good show, otherwise. But not quite up to par, he admits, hence his critical review. If he was a theater critic, he might call your efforts “valiant, but not worthy of the highest acclaim.” Or perhaps “They clearly need a little more time to develop, but it’s a good effort.”
You can kiss him. You can perform for him. You can let him touch you and hurt you, when he wants, without complaint. But you can’t hide all of the little things that give you real state of mind away. The way your jaw trembles ever so slightly when you stand up on your toes (so precious) to give him a kiss. The quarter-second that your eyes drift away before you tell him you love him, you adore him, you never want to leave him. The slight hint of revulsion, always covered with a smile in an instant, when he enters your cage at night. 
Did you think you’re fooling him? He hopes you did. He loves the idea of snatching the rug from underneath your feet, nimble as they may be. You’re good at acting on the stage--he could wax poetry about how ethereal, how in-the-moment you look when you’re dancing; when you’re practically flying across the stage, your tulle skirts swishing and the thin soles of your shoes slapping against the hard floor.
But when you’re off the stage? The magic is lessened. There are no stage lights to cover up your occasional tired expression, no swelling music to add emphasis to your movements if they become too strained. No stage tricks to hide your face from the audience for a moment of reprieve. It is no good, after all, for Odile to seduce the prince with her arms, her legs, the fierceness of her fouettes--if her face gives away that she finds him repellent.
Without the trickery of the stage, you give yourself away. Which is one reason why he’s decided to be oh-so-cruel to you today. The other? He’ll never tell you. Maybe you’ll guess it someday, if you happen to glimpse the expression he holds as you pirouette across the stage, no limits, no boundaries, only the music and the motion and the buzz of the audience to lift you up high.
But, he muses, picking up the hammer--the noises you’re making, oh, how fun!--it’s time to get back to the task at hand.
“Or at foot,” he says, giggling. But you don’t get the joke. He approaches the head of the table and your muffled pleas grow louder. They’re so soft, so confused. What did you do? What did you do? Please, please, please. He’s heard it all before, but it’s still enjoyable to take in. Like a comforting book.
He trails a gloved finger along your cheek, spreading your tears around like a child tracing lines on a foggy car window.
“I know you want to fly away from me.” He keeps his tone light and teasing. You immediately shake your head in denial, and Christ in heaven is that fantastic, the way you want him to believe you no longer desire escape, no longer desire true freedom.
He tuts at you, wagging the tip of his gloved finger in front of your face before leaning in closer. “If I let you fly away, would you still be my pet? If you fly away on your own, would you be free?” It’s rhetorical, and your expression betrays your lack of understanding behind his words.
He does want to hear your voice behind the gag, so he swiftly undoes the tight knot and tosses the soaked fabric aside.
“Please, I love you,” you say immediately, voice weak and pleading. “Nik--Nikolai, I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?” You hesitate for a moment, but then you continue. “I’m so sorry, whatever it is. I must have… disappointed you.” You lower your eyes and the downcast expression, the defeat in your gaze, makes him wish he had a camera on hand.
You’re so submissive. It really is beautiful. But you’re submissive because you want to avoid being hurt. You’re submissive because he’s got a hammer resting next to your precious feet and you don’t want him to lift up that hammer and bash your bones until they break.
Where’s the fun in that?
He hums to himself as he begins a deliberately slow walk back to the end of the table. He trails his fingers down your body and enjoys the sight of little goosebumps rising on your flesh, enjoys the way you squirm, just a bit, when he pokes at your sensitive side.
When he picks up the hammer, you begin to babble. The words aren’t important--he’s listening to the tone, the way your voice is thick with sadness and fear. Please, no, don’t, I’ll do anything; all words that run from your mouth like water through a stream. He ignores them and instead holds one of your feet still with his hand. There’s a power in your feet, thanks to the years of dancing and even more years of training. He thinks about taking that power away. About what that would mean. About what it would do to you.
When he rubs the end of the hammer against the top of your foot, you groan, a guttural sound of pure horror. The sound of someone whose entire reason for living, whose heartbeat, rests on the ability to dance. 
Your breath is sharp and scratchy when he suddenly lifts the hammer up and brings it crashing down on your ankle--where it immediately compresses and squeaks, high and childish.
It’s rubber. It’s a rubber toy. Nothing more.
Your breath comes out in short, harsh puffs. He takes in your expression, which is at once horrified and confused and relieved and even a bit angry.
“What--”
His sharp, pleased laughter interrupts you. And when he laughs, you laugh, just a little. He’s surprised that he can’t tell if it’s a genuine laugh of pure relief, an attempt to mimic him to stay in his good graces, or a sign that you’re losing your mind. Maybe it’s a mixture of all three.
He wastes no time in undoing your straps, and he pulls you into a sitting position. Your entire body is trembling, an adrenaline crash turning your legs to rubber as he helps you to your feet and loops your arm around his shoulders for added support. 
You don’t even have time to process the fact that he didn’t hurt you before he starts leading you out of the room and back to your pretty little cage and your pretty little bed. He drops you on the bed with a flourish, and you bounce slightly on the mattress--face still in shock, still processing.
“That was fun, right?” he says, voice once again teasing. “Now let’s play a little more.” He begins undoing his belt buckle, and what would have been the normal flash of revulsion on your face is replaced by something new: relief. Relief that you can dance? Relief that you didn’t earn any new scars, any new injuries, any new pain? He’s not sure that the exact reason matters. It’s something new, and it’s a step closer.
He grins and begins making quick work of his clothes. You’re already on your knees in front of him.
Relief, after all, comes in many forms.
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katnissmellarkkk · 3 years ago
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Elllow! Today’s bookcomb consists of Peeta being protective of Katniss. Could have been much more implied moments but here’s some explicit ones 🤗
-
But it’s too late to run. I pull a slimy arrow from the sheath and try to position it on the bowstring but instead of one string I see three and the stench from the stings is so repulsive I can’t do it. I can’t do it. I can’t do it.
I’m helpless as the first hunter crashes through the trees, spear lifted, poised to throw. The shock on Peeta’s face makes no sense to me. I wait for the blow. Instead his arm drops to his side.
“What are you still doing here?” he hisses at me. I stare uncomprehendingly as a trickle of water drips off a sting under his ear. His whole body starts sparkling as if he’s been dipped in dew. “Are you mad?” He’s prodding me with the shaft of the spear now. “Get up! Get up!” I rise, but he’s still pushing at me. What? What is going on? He shoves me away from him hard. “Run!” he screams. “Run!”
-
I trip and fall into a small pit lined with tiny orange bubbles that hum like the tracker jacker nest. Tucking my knees up to my chin, I wait for death.
Sick and disoriented, I’m able to form only one thought: Peeta Mellark just saved my life.
-
I jump as Peeta grips my shoulder from behind. “No,” he says. “You’re not risking your life for me.”
“Who said I was?” I say.
“So, you’re not going?” he asks.
“Of course, I’m not going. Give me some credit.”
-
Anger flushes my face. “All right, I am going, and you can’t stop me!”
“I can follow you. At least partway. I may not make it to the Cornucopia, but if I’m yelling your name, I bet someone can find me. And then I’ll be dead for sure,” he says.
“You won’t get a hundred yards from here on that leg,” I say.
“Then I’ll drag myself,” says Peeta. “You go and I’m going, too.”
-
“We’re going!” says Peeta, shoving the Peacekeeper who’s pressing on me. “We get it, all right? Come on, Katniss.” His arm encircles me and guides me back into the Justice Building.
-
Peeta steps up on a crate against the wall of the sweetshop and offers me a hand while he scans the square. I’m halfway up when he suddenly blocks my way. “Get down. Get out of here!” He’s whispering, but his voice is harsh with insistence.
“What?” I say, trying to force my way back up.
“Go home, Katniss! I’ll be there in a minute, I swear!” he says.
-
“He was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyway?” says the man.
“He’s her cousin.” Peeta’s got my other arm now, but gently. “And she’s my fiancée. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us.”
-
When we’re outside, I turn to Peeta. “You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob.”
“I’ll go with you,” he says.
“No. I’ve dragged you into enough trouble,” I tell him.
“And avoiding a stroll by the Hob . . . that’s going to fix things for me?” He smiles and takes my hand. Together we wind through the streets of the Seam until we reach the burning building.
-
“Peeta’s argument is that since I chose you, I now owe him. Anything he wants. And what he wants is the chance to go in again to protect you,” says Haymitch.
I knew it. In this way, Peeta’s not hard to predict. While I was wallowing around on the floor of that cellar, thinking only of myself, he was here, thinking only of me. Shame isn’t a strong enough word for what I feel.
“You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know,” Haymitch says.
“Yeah, yeah,” I say brusquely. “No question, he’s the superior one in this trio. So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” Haymitch sighs. “Go back in with you maybe, if I can. If my name’s drawn at the reaping, it won’t matter. He’ll just volunteer to take my place.”
-
The reaping takes only a minute. Effie, shining in a wig of metallic gold, lacks her usual verve. She has to claw around the girls’ reaping ball for quite a while to snag the one piece of paper that everyone already knows has my name on it. Then she catches Haymitch’s name. He barely has time to shoot me an unhappy look before Peeta has volunteered to take his place.
-
“And I’m not saying I’m not going to try. To get you home, I mean. But if I’m perfectly honest about it. . .”
“If you’re perfectly honest about it, you think President Snow has probably given them direct orders to make sure we die in the arena anyway,” I say.
“It’s crossed my mind,” says Peeta.
-
I check over my weapons, which I know are in perfect condition, because it makes me seem more in control. “I’ll take the lead,” I announce.
Peeta starts to object but Finnick cuts him off. “No, let her do it.”
-
No one’s thrilled with the idea of me going off alone, but the threat of dehydration hangs over us.
“Don’t worry, I won’t go far,” I promise Peeta.
“I’ll go, too,” he says.
“No, I’m going to do some hunting if I can,” I tell him. I don’t add, “And you can’t come because you’re too loud.” But it’s implied. He would both scare off prey and endanger me with his heavy tread. “I won’t be long.”
-
Nothing. I find nothing. Not so much as a dewdrop. Eventually, because I know Peeta will be worried about me, I head back to the camp, hotter and more frustrated than ever.
-
I know it’s stopped when I feel Peeta’s hands on me, feel myself lifted from the ground and out of the jungle. But I stay eyes squeezed shut, hands over my ears, muscles too rigid to release. Peeta holds me on his lap, speaking soothing words, rocking me gently.
-
While Johanna collects water and my arrows, Beetee fiddles with his wire, and Finnick takes to the water. I need to clean up, too, but I stay in Peeta’s arms, still too shaken to move.
-
This is when Beetee reveals the rest of the plan. Since we move most swiftly through the trees, he wants Johanna and me to take the coil down through the jungle, unwinding the wire as we go. We are to lay it across the twelve o’clock beach and drop the metal spool, with whatever is left, deep into the water, making sure it sinks. Then run for the jungle. If we go now, right now, we should make it to safety.
“I want to go with them as a guard,” Peeta says immediately. After the moment with the pearl, I know he’s less willing than ever to let me out of his sight.
-
I’m so light-headed I’ll black out in a matter of minutes. I’ve got to get away from this tree and —
“Katniss!” I hear his voice though he’s a far distance away. But what is he doing? Peeta must have figured out that everyone is hunting us by now. “Katniss!”
-
Caesar leans in to him a little. “I think it was clear to all of us what your plan was. To sacrifice yourself in the arena so that Katniss Everdeen and your child could survive.”
“That was it. Clear and simple.” Peeta’s fingers trace the upholstered pattern on the arm of the chair.
-
A hush has fallen over the room, and I can feel it spreading across Panem. A nation leaning in toward its screens. Because no one has ever talked about what it’s really like in the arena before.
Peeta goes on. “So you hold on to your wish. And that last night, yes, my wish was to save Katniss.”
-
“When that wire was cut, everything just went insane. I can only remember bits and pieces. Trying to find her. Watching Brutus kill Chaff. Killing Brutus myself. I know she was calling my name. Then the lightning bolt hit the tree, and the force field around the arena . . . blew out.”
“Katniss blew it out, Peeta,” says Caesar. “You’ve seen the footage.”
“She didn’t know what she was doing. None of us could follow Beetee’s plan. You can see her trying to figure out what to do with that wire,” Peeta snaps back.
-
Peeta’s on his feet, leaning in to Caesar’s face, hands locked on the arms of his interviewer’s chair. “Really? And was it part of her plan for Johanna to nearly kill her? For that electric shock to paralyze her? To trigger the bombing?” He’s yelling now. “She didn’t know, Caesar! Neither of us knew anything except that we were trying to keep each other alive!”
Caesar places his hand on Peeta’s chest in a gesture that’s both self-protective and conciliatory. “Okay, Peeta, I believe you.”
-
Gale’s expression darkens. “Peeta might have done a lot of damage tonight. Most of the rebels will dismiss what he said immediately, of course. But there are districts where the resistance is shakier. The cease-fire’s clearly President Snow’s idea. But it seems so reasonable coming out of Peeta’s mouth.”
I’m afraid of Gale’s answer, but I ask anyway. “Why do you think he said it?”
“He might have been tortured. Or persuaded. My guess is he made some kind of deal to protect you. He’d put forth the idea of the cease-fire if Snow let him present you as a confused pregnant girl who had no idea what was going on when she was taken prisoner by the rebels. This way, if the districts lose, there’s still a chance of leniency for you. If you play it right.” I must still look perplexed because Gale delivers the next line very slowly. “Katniss . . . he’s still trying to keep you alive.”
To keep me alive? And then I understand. The Games are still on. We have left the arena, but since Peeta and I weren’t killed, his last wish to preserve my life still stands. His idea is to have me lie low, remain safe and imprisoned, while the war plays out. Then neither side will really have cause to kill me. And Peeta? If the rebels win, it will be disastrous for him. If the Capitol wins, who knows? Maybe we’ll both be allowed to live — if I play it right — to watch the Games go on. . . .
-
Caesar and Peeta have a few empty exchanges before Caesar asks him about rumors that I’m taping propos for the districts.
“They’re using her, obviously,” says Peeta. “To whip up the rebels. I doubt she even really knows what’s going on in the war. What’s at stake.”
-
He asks Peeta if, given tonight’s demonstration, he has any parting thoughts for Katniss Everdeen.
At the mention of my name, Peeta’s face contorts in effort. “Katniss . . . how do you think this will end? What will be left? No one is safe. Not in the Capitol. Not in the districts. And you . . . in Thirteen . . .” He inhales sharply, as if fighting for air; his eyes look insane. “Dead by morning!”
-
“Katniss!” He whips his head toward me but doesn’t seem to notice my bow, the waiting arrow. “Katniss! Get out of here!”
I hesitate. His voice is alarmed, but not insane. “Why? What’s making that sound?”
“I don’t know. Only that it has to kill you,” says Peeta. “Run! Get out! Go!”
-
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writerofthecourt · 3 years ago
Text
reciprocal
pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x reader
summary: for the past few days, the injuries on sakusa’s body couldn’t just be attributed to his soulmate’s clumsiness anymore. it was up to him to figure out the truth of the matter
warning: some references to bullying, some blood and injury
a/n: if this story seems familiar to anyone, it’s because i had a quotev account back in the day that used this same premise with different haikyuu character
Bruises and scrapes were a common sight that littered Sakusa’s body. With a soulmate such as yourself, it was no surprise to anyone that Itachiyama’s ace was usually painted black and blue from his injuries.
Soulmate bonds were both a blessing and a curse. To be so intimately connected to someone to the point of sharing and manifesting their pain was the tragic beauty of having a soulmate. Some people found this to be romantic, while others found it to be a liability. For Sakusa, it was more of a nuisance than anything, considering your unique ability to be so undeniably clumsy.
For the past few days, the injuries on Sakusa’s body were becoming much more frequent and annoying, especially since they were starting to become a hindrance during volleyball practice. When he had asked you about this issue, you had just smiled and pretended to be clueless. His worrying only lessened once you had repeatedly assured him that you were fine and sent him off to practice with a peck on the cheek.
Of course, everything would have been fine if it wasn’t for the pain now igniting from his right shoulder. The pain was so great that Sakusa felt his knees hit the floor, his hand clutching the spot where the pain was radiating from. Practice immediately halted as his teammates gathered around in worry.
Komori was the first one to reach him as he kneeled next to the ace. “Are you all right, Sakusa?”
“I’m fine,” Sakusa managed to say, though that was a complete lie. His shoulder felt like it had been set ablaze, and the wince on his face wasn’t convincing anyone.
“Maybe you should sit out for the rest of practice, Sakusa,” Iizuna calmly suggested.
“I said I’m fine. Let’s just get back to practice.”
Reaching out for Komori’s hand, Sakusa hoisted himself back to his feet and returned to his place on the court. Soon enough, everyone else began to follow his lead.
“I wonder what that was all about,” Sakusa heard his captain mumble.
“[Y/N]-chan probably fell or something,” Komori tried to rationalize before noticing the confused look on Iizuna’s face. “Oh, [Y/N]-chan is Sakusa’s soulmate, and she’s super clumsy. Don’t worry, this is normal for them…I think.”
“If you say so…but make sure Sakusa checks up on his soulmate. Just in case.”
Sakusa couldn’t help but scoff as he tuned out the rest of Komori and Iizuna’s conversation. He didn’t need to be told to check up on you, he was already planning to have a ‘little’ talk with you sometime tomorrow, and he was expecting answers.
Returning his attention back to practice, Sakusa tried to focus on his spikes and not the wave of concern that washed over him when his mind drifted off to the thought of you.
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At the beginning of lunch the very next day, Sakusa promptly left his seat and made his way down the hall to your classroom. Loudly sliding the door open, a few students jumped in surprise and fear as Sakusa glared into the room, searching for his target. Spotting you at your desk, he quickly marched in and took a hold of your wrist, dragging you away to a remote corner of the hallway.
“Kiyoomi, you’re hurting me!” you said as he trapped you against the wall. Realizing that the pain was beginning to manifest on his own wrist, Sakusa immediately let go of your arm, but his glare stayed ever present.
“What happened?” he demanded more than asked.
“I-I don’t know what you mean.”
Not wanting to play this game, Sakusa brought up his hands and started to undo the first few buttons of your uniform top without a single word.
“Kiyoomi!” you whispered indignantly as your face began to heat up in embarrassment.
Ignoring your protests, Sakusa pulled the sleeve of your shirt down to reveal your right shoulder. His eyes widened in shock before anger overtook his pretty features. Your skin, once beautiful and perfect, was now decorated with a dark purple bruise. He had seen the same discolouration on his own shoulder earlier that morning when he was getting dressed, but he didn’t want to believe it.
He raised a hand to gently brush his fingers against the injury, but he immediately retreated once he saw your face contort in slight pain.
“I guess there was really no point in trying to hide it, huh?” he heard you say.
“What happened?” Sakusa repeated in a lighter tone this time, now looking at you with gentle concern.
Sakusa saw something spiral within your eyes before you diverted your gaze, suddenly finding the floor to be much more interesting. He lowered his hand and laced his fingers with yours. If not for the current situation, he would have mused about how perfectly your hand seemed to fit in his.
“[Y/N], tell me what happened.”
“I-I bumped my shoulder against a shelf while cleaning up my room yesterday,” you mumbled as you started to play with your sleeves, a habit of yours whenever you lied.
“You don’t get a bruise this big just by bumping into something,” he reasoned with a frown.
“It just happened, okay?” you snapped quickly.
“I don’t see why you just won’t tell me!” Sakusa retorted angrily, now matching your tone. “You’re supposed to-”
“Kiyoomi!” you shouted, and Sakusa felt himself slightly taken aback with shock. “Just trust me, okay? I can handle this myself. I don’t want to keep relying on you for everything, so just trust me!”
“…Fine,” Sakusa conceded after a moment of silence.
Feeling agitated and defeated, Sakusa backed away from the wall before letting out a frustrated sigh. As he began to walk away, he suddenly felt something knock itself into his back. Your arms locked around his stomach as you leaned your head against his back.
“Thank you,” you whispered. “Thank you for trusting me, Kiyoomi.”
Turning around to give you a proper hug, Sakusa securely wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on top of your head, not at all minding the possible germs that came from this interaction. You were always worth it.
“You really are a lot of trouble, you know that?” Sakusa sighed while rubbing circles on the small of your back.
“I love you too,” you giggled.
Using the tip of your toes to reach him, you pulled down Sakusa’s mask and gave your soulmate a quick farewell kiss. After fixing his mask and your shirt, you sent Sakusa a small smile and wave before walking off to class. On the way back to his own classroom, Sakusa couldn’t help but wonder if he had made the right decision.
“No,” Sakusa tried to convince himself. “Everything’s going to be fine.”
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Sakusa hated days when you had cleaning duties. It meant that you couldn’t walk with him to practice. His schedule was always busy, so Sakusa tried to spend as much time with you as possible, even if it was something as simple as holding your hand while walking to volleyball practice.
“And then he said, ‘What will you have after 500 years?’ And Mark was like—you aren’t even listening to me, are you?” Komori asked with an exasperated sigh, finally noticing that Sakusa’s attention was elsewhere.
“I can’t find my math notebook,” Sakusa replied plainly, still focused on rifling through his bag.
Komori paused for a moment before snapping his fingers in realization. “Didn’t you lend it to [Y/N]-chan at lunch today?”
Sakusa’s eyes lifted from his bag when he realized he had lent you his notebook. It wasn’t in his character to let anyone borrow his belongings, so whenever he did lend you something, it usually escaped his memory.
Sakusa muttered a low curse. “I’ll be back in five minutes.”
Komori only grinned in amusement before walking off to the gym on his own. “All right, I’ll see you soon.”
Nodding his head, Sakusa turned back towards the school. If he had to guess, you would have to be done cleaning up the classroom by now, meaning that he’d have to hurry if he wanted to catch you in time.
Hurrying down the halls and up the stairs, Sakusa soon found himself turning the corner that led towards the second year classrooms. Although there was no one in sight, Sakusa picked up on the quiet murmur of some voices, along with girls’ laughter. He thought nothing of it until a large crash captured his attention, and everything turned dead silent. At that moment, Sakusa felt the air being knocked out of his lungs as pain jolted throughout his body, and he almost staggered off his feet to the ground.
That could only mean one thing.
Running to the classroom, Sakusa saw a sight that had his blood boiling like never before, and he felt his mind go numb. He didn’t even notice how his nails were slightly drawing blood, as he only felt rage at that moment.
You were lying on the floor, blood pouring from the cut on your head that you had probably received from being pushed against the desks. Three girls surrounded your unconscious body, looking around frantically and panicking at the turn of events.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Sakusa managed to shout out.
“S-Sakusa-san!” one of the girls jumped. “W-we were just playing around, honestly! We never meant for this to happen!”
“I’m not in the mood for your excuses,” he said before his expression turned dark. “Leave, now.”
In an instance, the girls were gone, shivering in fright as they ran off. Sakusa felt himself calm down a bit after releasing a shaky breath, but he soon felt his rage reignite when he saw that the wound on your head was still bleeding profusely.
Kneeling next to your body, Sakusa hoisted you up and began his trip to the nurse’s office. In the middle of his maneuvering, you had quietly woken up and reached for his forehead where blood was spilling from the same wound.
“Kiyoomi, you’re bleeding…”
“And why do you think that is?!” Sakusa snapped at the mention of your matching wounds.
Ignoring his comment, you chose to ask where you were going.
“The nurse’s office to fix your idiotic mistake,” he replied harshly.
After arriving at the office, the nurse gave you and Sakusa a questioning look, but she said nothing as she swiftly wrapped and bandaged your injuries. She soon left for a faculty meeting, leaving you at the mercy of a very angry soulmate.
You sat against the headboard of the office’s medical bed, while Sakusa stood across from you with his arms crossed and a glare on his face. His mask was no longer present, having been abandoned, as it had been contaminated by the blood of his injury.
“So,” you began. “Lovely weather we’re having…”
“That’s not funny, [Y/N]. Now, start explaining.”
“All right, all right,” you sighed. “I guess it started a few days ago. At first, they were small favours, like buying them a few drinks. Then the favours became more demanding…I tried to tell them today that I wasn’t going to be their little servant anymore, but you know how that turned out…”
“So the bruise…?” Sakusa asked inquisitively.
“Yes, it was them,” you answered quietly.
You said nothing as Sakusa continued to frown before he eventually asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because,” you started. “I knew that you would worry. You’re already so busy with school and volleyball, I didn’t want to add to your list of worries…”
“…You really are an idiot,” Sakusa mumbled before running a hand through his hair. He soon moved to sit next to you on the bed and took a hold of your hands in his. “I’m only going to say this once, so you better listen carefully. We’re soulmates for a reason. We’re supposed to be there for each other. Whenever you have a problem, we’re supposed to solve it together.
“I know that I don’t always act like it, but I care about you, a lot. So just like how I can trust you, you need to know that it’s all right to trust me. You can always depend on me to be there for you.”
When he was done with his rant, Sakusa felt his cheeks lightly flush red as he saw your blank expression. He hoped that he didn’t say too much.
“All right, Kiyoomi,” you finally said, a smile beginning to appear on your face. “No more secrets.”
Smirking in approval, Sakusa leaned in and lifted a hand to tilt your pretty face so that you were staring directly into his eyes. His voice was low and seductive as his thumb lightly brushed against the corner of your mouth.
“Good. Because the next time you keep a secret from me, I’m going to have to punish you.”
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jimlingss · 4 years ago
Note
gladiator jk?? 🤭🗡
I’ve written quite a few historicals, but never in the Rome era or quite as far back. So please excuse the historical inaccuracies and all that. I did my best to do a half hour crash course on it.
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↳ Spare and Surrender
2.5k || 50% Fluff, 50% Angst || Jeon Jungkook || Gladiator!AU
Jungkook is a star.
He’s won eight games — five against wild beasts and three against other gladiators where he killed two and maimed the other. The entire Colosseum always cheers when he enters. He knows he’s become a favourite, that there are those who bet their life savings on him, and most importantly, he always wins.
The fact that he’s alive is enough proof.
But in spite of the horrors he’s had to face, of the lives he’s had to take, Jungkook still likes it. They give him a place to sleep, three delicious meals a day, and baths and massages whenever he wants. Jungkook is good at what he does too. He isn’t like those elite men from the senate who rigged the fights in their favour and perform simply for their own amusement. The scars on his body are the evidence of his strength and true victories. Jungkook is talented. He was one of the best during training, heard endless praise and even now the roars of the people make him feel alive. Even when asked if he wanted to be free, he refused. Jungkook bleeds competitiveness and the games have become his reason to live.
Today, the crowd is cheering again. But it’s not for him.
“Who’s up there?” he asks a fellow fighter, Darius.
“The new one. You haven’t heard of him?”
The two of them climb the steps, candle fire illuminating their figures and casting their shadows against the underground stone walls. 
“They call him the Mouse Dragon.”
Jungkook frowns. “Why?”
“Because he’s as tiny as a mouse, but as fierce and swift as a dragon.” The clamour of the crowds become louder the closer they get to the center. There’s light from the end of the tunnel closest to Jungkook and curiosity makes him go closer. “He’s already won five games, Jeon. He might take your place soon.”
Darius nudges him with a small grin. But Jungkook doesn’t take it lightly.
He follows the light and peeks out of the barred tunnel to see you. 
You’re in amber armour, silver dagger in hand as you encircle a wounded bear. It growls, leaps forward at the speed of light, but you don’t evade. You lurch forward and before the animal’s sharp teeth can rip into your skin, the dagger pierces into the side of its throat.
The bear roars in pain and you dig the blade into it before pulling out to pierce it again.
Finally, the large creature drops dead at your feet. The crowd bursts into wild howls and screams. It’s deafening. 
Jungkook slinks back into the shadows.
He doesn’t know how he remained so ignorant as to not know you, to not know a fellow gladiator who won so many games. Granted, your number of victories is far from his, but it’s still notable especially when most gladiators died in their first games and few made it past ten. Jungkook plans on making it there. But at this rate, you might as well. And there was no room for two stars. Not when fame was fickle and he planned to become the most famous.
He allowed his arrogance to blind him for long enough. It’s time to make himself known to you, to show you what a real gladiator is and let you know your place.
Jungkook returns underground, darting past the many fighters preparing for their own matches. He brushes past the guards and trainers, ignoring the cry of the animals kept in their cages. 
Down here, there was its own chaos. Chaos that is kept from the eyes of the public. 
But when he gets to the place where survivors usually recover and collect themselves, the hall is empty and much quieter. The noise of the Colosseum is merely muffled faintly above him.
Jungkook whips back the curtain of the first room, but it’s empty. He turns on his heel, calms down his temper and glances through the gaps of the curtains, searching for you. He sees no one in the second room and no one in the third.
He’s about to relent and look for you on the training grounds later on. But at the fourth room, Jungkook’s vision unintentionally trails through the small space between the curtain and the wall.
His eyes grow wide as it lands on you. Unraveling your chest bindings.
You look up on instinct. Your pupils connect with his doe, brown eyes. A gasp rips from your throat.
But by then, he’s gone. Like a ghost or the smoke of a flame.
Jungkook strides back from where he came from, feet moving quickly. He’s in disbelief, utter confusion—
And a hand wraps around his wrist. In an instant, Jungkook’s yanked into one of the rooms.
You’re panting, chest rising and falling as you hold your bindings to your breasts.
His eyes weren’t wrong. “You’re a woman.”
“And you’re Jungkook.”
He blinks. “You know me?”
“Who doesn’t?” You slip the worn tunic on, and Jungkook realizes how small you really are. Up close, your neck is slim and your wrists small. But unlike the others, he knows it’s not because you’re a tiny, frail man. You’re a woman. “I’ve watched your games before.”
“Why are you here?”
“Why are any of us here?” You face him, gaze intense and fierce without once wavering. He can’t be threatened. Not when he’s Jungkook, someone who’s quickly becoming one of the strongest gladiators of Rome. Yet for some reason, he’s held in his spot because of you. “I was a slave and was going to be sold as a prostitute.”
“So you pretended to be a man and train as a gladiator.”
“At least I can win enough prize earnings to pay for my freedom. Or I can die. Either way, it’s better than what was in store for me.”
Jungkook’s taken aback by the determination ablaze in your eyes, by the strength and conviction in your voice. “There are female gladiators, you don’t need to hide yourself.”
“If they knew I was a woman, they’d want me to expose my breasts and fight and no one would take me seriously.” You hiss at him like he knows nothing, “What kind of prize earnings would I get then if they’re pitting me against dwarves for their own amusement.”
Jungkook looks at you — he really looks at you. Beyond a fighter in the Colosseum, beyond a fellow competitor, beyond a heroic gladiator who garners cheers.
He feels foolish.
Small-minded. Short-sighted.
His intentions of intimidation and putting you in your place has long vanished. You and him are so different. He can’t compare to you.
You don’t fight for sport. You fight to escape.
“Don’t tell anyone.” You soften. “I hate owing others, but please. I beg of you. Let me be.”
“I was a slave too.” In the farthest confines of his mind, Jungkook still hears the screaming, the burning city, Romans taking him in the midst of their conquests. And the others. The difference between him and them was that he was stronger. He survived. But he almost let himself forget. “If you made it this far, it means you’re strong as well. I have no business in revealing your secret.”
Jungkook had almost forgotten what life outside the Colosseum meant. He almost forgot the thirst to survive. To live on without needing to fight another day.
But as he looks at you, the memories return. It makes him feel sickly. He pushes them away.
“But for a price.”
The relief on your expression washes away just as quickly as it came. “What price?”
“Tell me your name. Your real name.”
You hesitate before the secret tumbles from your lips. “It’s Y/N.”
...
Jungkook sees you again in the training barracks. Now that your face isn’t simply one amongst the crowd, blurring together with the men, now that he can pick you out by just the back of your head, he often joins you. Whether it be pity or curiosity, he isn’t quite sure yet. But he speaks to you when he has the chance, invites you to sit and eat at the table with him much to the confusion of fellow gladiators, and he trains with you during the day.
He can tell you’re not fond of his attention as it garners the attention of the other men. After all, Jungkook doesn’t often associate himself with fellow fighters and certainly not those that are supposedly lower than he is. But he can also tell that you like his training help. 
“Stab, don’t slash.”
“I know that.”
“But you’re still doing it.” 
“I survived this far without your help, Jungkook.”
“And you’re going to need my help if you want to keep surviving and earn your way to freedom.”
The corner of his mouth tugs when you’re rendered to silence. 
But you’re not the only one to gain from the relationship. Jungkook enjoys sparring with you. He likes it when your sword clashes against his, when your shields are struck. You’re a formidable competitor. While he is sturdy, swift and strong, you are agile and dexterous. He is especially impressed when you tumble away from him like your bones have turned to air.
Jungkook has always liked his women elegant with intelligent eyes, dressed in beautiful clothes that drift through the breeze. You, on the other hand, are rough when you wield weapons. Your words can be crude and he’s never once seen you in finery. Yet, he is absolutely stricken with you.
And maybe that’s why he feels a need to protect you through the fight—
“The Mouse Dragon! The Unstoppable Beast!”
The crowd goes wild as you both enter the Colosseum together. The nicknames given to the two of you are absurd, but Jungkook still feels pride that he’s famed enough to be named.
It was posted earlier today that you’d be fighting together against an exotic animal from the west. A creature with a large trunk, two tusks and whose height towers him twice over.
Perhaps the trainers saw how close he was becoming with you. Maybe the rumours began to take that he was your mentor and you were going to become the next bold gladiator. Either way, you were put together.
Jungkook looks to you and the both of you nod, preparing your stances as the animal is released from its confines. It cries out and decides to trample towards you.
The game lasts ten minutes. It always does and it’s the longest ten minutes he knows.
Jungkook is reckless this time. More than what he is used to.
“You don’t need to protect me—” you spit at him, standing shoulder to shoulder, catching your breaths.
He knows, but he can’t help it. “Who says I am?”
Jungkook strikes when he should be holding up his shield. He surges forward before you can. And he’s clearly more worn than you are. But it’s not for the cheers, not for the crowd to chant his name, and he isn’t trying to steal the spotlight from you.
You narrow your eyes in on him. “I can handle it on my own.” 
You do. 
The creature becomes wounded from your stabs and blood splatters across your face. But in the moment of the animal’s death, it wails out and leans on its hind legs with its last effort. From the force, you’re thrown to the ground. About to be trampled. About to be crushed.
Yet before it can come down, before you can brace yourself — Jungkook digs his entire sword through its side.
The animal falls over. The dust is awakened into a cloud.
The crowd screams all around you and your gaze meets Jungkook’s, knowing he saved your life.
The game is something to remember. So much so that a close trainer, Marcus Namjoon, whispers that the next time the two of you will have to fight a more ferocious beast. The lion.
“How will you manage?” he asks you that same night as you’re seated on the wooden steps.
“I’ll just have to or I’ll die.” The corner of your mouth curls as the light of the stars glow against your face and makes you look like a goddess. Jungkook is sure you must be the child of Ares and Aphrodite. “May the best warrior survive.”
His hand crumples into a fist. He tears his eyes away from your magnificence.
Sooner or later, you will win your freedom or sooner or later, you will die. Or worse. Jungkook knows how the games go. He’s been here for years and he knows why these matches exist. It’s all to distract the public of more important matters and if something happens, if a big enough distraction is needed, sooner or later, Jungkook will be pitted against you.
Then, he will have to kill you or at least maim you. Or he will have to be your sacrifice.
“Take this.”
He drops a leather pouch into your lap and looks away.
It’s heavy and you tug the strings. A gasp pulls on your lips. Gold and silver gleams back at you.
“Jungkook…”
“It’s all of my earnings I’ve saved so far. With what you have, together it should be enough to buy your freedom.” It becomes silent and he lets the peace of the night settle into him.
“Why?”
“Because you desire freedom more than I have ever desired anything.” That might be a lie. There is one thing Jungkook desires most that could possibly contend — and he’s looking at it. Looking at you. “If there’s anyone who deserves this, it’s you. I would not regret it if this is where my earnings went.”
“W-What about the fight?”
“I’ll have a better chance than you do.”
“Jungkook.”
You take his face within your hands to kiss him. He feels your soft lips and in spite of being a warrior, your body is even softer. You feel feminine under his touch and as he years for more, he grabs a hold of your waist and pulls you flush against him. Jungkook inhales your yelp, your tongues sloppy against one another.
A hunger from inside him awakens. Jungkook wants to have you right here, right now. But you part from him, catching your breath.
Under the stars, Jungkook has become entirely enraptured by you.
“I’ll work.” You make an oath to him. “I’ll save enough to free you.”
Jungkook’s never thought of leaving before. Even as a distinguished warrior, when he had been asked if he wanted to be granted freedom, he refused. He likes it here. There’s a roof over his head, he gets three meals and gains attention and fame that he could never get on his own.
Yet, you are a bigger reason than all other reasons.
He has never desired anything more than being with you.
A smile tugs on his lips. “It’s a promise I’ll hold you to then.”
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nightwishesworld · 4 years ago
Note
Hello! I hope you still do request! If you are, may I ask for the three daughters keep borthering Alcina’s partner while she is out for works. So Reader tricks them to play Hide n Seek and because all daughters are so competitive that they hide for hours, Reader just continue to work whatever she is working on until Alcina comes home, wondering where are her daughters at 🤣 Thank youuu
Ooh this was a fun write! Apologies for this taking so long...I’m starting to get backed up with requests...but I love it! haha
You were sitting at your desk in your private study trying desperately to get at least some work done. The only things that could be heard were the scratching over your pen across paper and the rhythmic ticking of the grandfather clock stood in the back corner of the room. The atmosphere was perfect for productivity. You promised Alcina you would get through at least half of the large pile currently cluttering the top of your desk, and you were hardly eclipsing a quarter of it. 
It’s nothing important, just the overview of various renovations needed in the castle. Most of what needed to be done were small projects and only required a small team of specialists to finish the job; those were easy enough to organize. It was the bigger jobs that were difficult to put together. For instance, the balcony of the East Wing Archives was starting to crumble, and cracks spread from the balcony to surrounding pillars. That one is going to be very tricky to work with. Out of all the rooms in the damn castle, it had to be the Dimitrescu Archives, really? You avoided that responsibility like the plague.
You were really happy when Alcina gave you full control over the project, even if it was because she didn’t want to deal with it, you took it as her trusting you with the restoration of her home. That both excited you and terrified you to no end. She wasn’t around very much during daylight hours as of late. Apparently, Heisenberg needed her help with one of his own “projects.” What exactly that is you have no idea and honestly, knowing how Heisenberg was, that was ok.
What wasn’t ok, was your darling step-daughters amuck in the corridors and distracting you with their laughter and occasional crashing sound. You can only hope whatever they broke wasn’t a family heirloom. Once they found you hiding in your study they starting pestering you to play with them. Every five minutes a different daughter found their way into your study, examining your various knick-knacks until you acknowledged their presence. Or ya know if they break something. Whichever comes first. 
After a while, they gave up on their subtle approach and all three of them burst through your door, demanding attention like the brats they were. But you love them anyway. They were clever little brats too; they learned very quickly how best to manipulate you into doing their bidding. Three little words were all it took to have your entire reserve crumble to waste. “Please, Mama y/n.” They could ask you to help them dispose of a body and you would happily follow as long as they say it like that.
So naturally, that’s what all three of them were shouting at you. But you can’t keep going on like this. Alcina always told you to just ignore them and eventually the lack of attention will bore them and they’ll leave; easier said than done. You had a sneaking suspicion the girls poke and prod at you more than Alcina, for obvious reasons. Alcina was like a lion when mad- ferocious and would not hesitate to bite your head off. You, however, felt like the girls view you as the pissy cat that got sprayed with water for scratching at the furniture.
After all, you’re just the step-parent. Of course, they don’t take you as seriously as their own mother. You were still their friend more than a parental figure. Nine out of ten times that was perfectly fine by you. Today they were really pushing their luck though, and you weren’t sure how much more “please play with us, Mama Y/n,” you could take before snapping. 
Then you had an idea. An awful, wicked idea that may just let everyone get what they want.
You slammed your pen down and the desk and turned to face the girls. “How about a game of hide and seek? I’ll count to one hundred while you three hide.”
That seemed to satisfy them so much they were already barreling out the door.
”Wait! I didn’t tell you the rules yet.”
Daniela rolled her eyes. “There are no rules, y/n; you count, we hide, you find us. Simple.”
“True,” you nodded. “But we’ve never played inside before and the castle is a lot bigger than the gardens, wouldn’t you say? No going outside, the secret passages are restricted as is the basement.” The girls nodded along. “And no leaving your hiding spot for another. If I find you roaming around you’re disqualified.”
“Can we go yet? I already know where I want to hide.”
“Go on.”
They vanished from your study within the blink of an eye.
“Finally some peace and quiet.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hours had passed since you finished creating the project guidelines. Now all that was left was to contact the specialists to get an estimate on price and time span. It was a very productive afternoon. Something felt off though. Oh well. You were far too tired to give it much thought. All you wanted to do was get through dinner and go straight to bed.
You walked into the dining room, where Alcina was already waiting for you and gave her a kiss on the cheek before taking your usual spot across from her. 
“Something troubling your mind, dear? You look stressed.”
You barely looked up from your plate, clearly too busy pushing your veggies around to properly address your wife. “Hmm? Oh yeah, sorry Al, I guess I’m just tired. Most of the paperwork is done so we can start scheduling some of the smaller projects.”
“That’s marvelous news. I hope the girls didn’t bother you too much.”
You shake your head and wave her off like nothing. “Oh no, they were fine. All I had to do was tell them to go- oh my god I forgot about the girls.”
“What do you mean you forgot about them? Where are vthey?”
You both make your way down the corridors, completely abandoning your meals. “I-I don’t know! I told them we’d play hide and seek and...well I forgot to seek.”
“I thought it was a little quiet around here,” Alcina sighed. “How do you forget about your own children?” 
“They weren’t letting me work! I was gonna go look for them eventually I just...lost track of everything. And who hides for this long? It’s been like four hours since I told them to go hide.”
“You remember who we’re talking about, right? Or have you forgotten just how competitive our children are.”
“Yes, yes I know. Well they couldn’t have gone too far. I told them the basement and outside were off limits. Is there something we can lure them out with? Like a lamp or something?”
Alcina shot a confused look. “Why would a lamp help us find them?”
“You know, cause they can transform into moths…”
Alcina only arched a brow at you.
“And moths are attracted to the light…? No? Whatever, that was a clever joke and it went right over your head.”
“If you say so dear.”
She really worries about you sometimes.
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uswntxfootball · 4 years ago
Text
we should be rivals (leah williamson x chelsea!reader)
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being the newest chelsea signing and a diehard fan all your life, you didn’t understand the arsenal hype until you saw her...
word count: 2541 ish
a/n: big thanks to @4stars-uswnt​ and @sauceysonny​ for ideas.. (though they were really creepy and both somehow gave me the exact same one at the same time...)
part 2 is out!
——
you’re jolted out of your thoughts when kerr slaps you on your back.
“you coming kid?”
you nod slowly, unable to tear your eyes off the wembley stadium sign.
“what’s up rook?”
“oh nothing nothing, i’m just taking it all in.”
after your stellar performance at ucla, it didn’t take long for you to be noticed by the big teams.
a longtime chelsea fan, to say you were beyond ecstatic when they wanted to sign you would be an understatement.
jessie signing with chelsea too was just the cherry on top.
kerr lets out a sigh in understanding.
“you’ve made it this far for a reason kid, don’t get intimidated. we’ve got a finals game to win.”
with that said, the forward patted your back and walked into the stadium.
you stood there for a bit longer, only broken out of your trance when your best friend, who had witnessed you standing in front of the stadium for a good ten minutes, finally just rolled her eyes and dragged you into the stadium.
“jess i was getting to it!”
“no you weren’t the dinosaurs literally went extinct in the time you stood there.”
“oh shut up.”
jessie let out a loud laugh at that, and led the two of you to your spots in the locker room, both of you bickering all the way.
you get quiet when you reach your spot and your silence causes jessie to turn around.
“damn no come back?”
you shake your head lightly.
“no i just can’t believe we made it ya know?”
jessie’s tone softens when she replies, “i know. i really can’t believe we’re here at wembley.”
you give the midfielder a hug, a moment cut short by sam, who yells for the two of you to hurry up.
~~
donning a #19 on your back, you made your way onto the pitch for warmups, to see that arsenal was out too.
as a die hard chelsea fan, you never quite payed any attention to who was on the other teams, and combined with your nerves, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to focus on the opposition at the moment.
playing your first ever fa cup final-scratch that.
playing and starting in your first ever fa cup final, the nerves were really starting to eat up at you now.
to combat your nerves you’ve learned to just get lost in what you’re doing.
to distract yourself, losing yourself in whatever you were doing.
you were so hyper focused on your stretching and warmups that you didn’t look up until it was too late, your body crashing into the red jersey in front of you.
in your haste you didn’t even notice who you ran into.
you scramble to your feet quickly and mutter a “sorry” before running towards a laughing jessie, your cheeks beet red.
“oh my god did anyone record that?”
you flush harder.
“shut up fleming.”
~~
on the opposite side of the field, leah was still laying on the grass, unable to comprehend what had just happened.
the flash of blue left as quick as it had happened , and the annoyed look originally plastered on her face was wiped away after seeing yours.
she was..
already...smitten?
daan poked her in the side with her cleat.
“stop staring off into space and get your gay ass up already.”
“i- right”
leah took daan’s outstretched hand and pulled herself up.
her eyes met jordan’s, who gave her a very knowing look.
“no.”
“i didn’t say anything.”
“just. no.”
~~
you stood behind jessie in the tunnel, the nerves visible on your face.
the vets all took note of your nervousness, each making sure to whisper a “good luck” or “you’ll do great” in your ear as they passed by.
it helped a bit.
a few of the arsenal players also gave you encouraging nods and smiles, something you greatly appreciated.
your breath caught in your throat when a certain arsenal player gave you a smile, the girl just stupidly attractive.
you gave her a quick grin and shook your head softly, trying to get your head back into the game and rid it of any distractions.
however, you couldn’t help but sneak one more glance as the opposing team walked out, catching a #6 and “williamson” on the back of her jersey.
the game began and you made an observation.
well it was more like a fact.
leah was good.
like crazy good.
every time the ball was at your feet the defender was there in a flash.
every.
single.
time.
her tackles were perfectly timed and just beautiful, with just enough on them to knock the ball from your feet without tripping you.
but as the game progressed and the score remained at 0-0, everyone was getting a little desperate, a little sloppy.
so when the next ball landed at your feet, leah overestimated the distance and as a result, her leg got hooked around yours and the two of you went tumbling down, you landing right on top of her.
you push yourself up onto your palms and the wind promptly gets knocked out of you.
the two of you look at each other, chests heaving and you make another observation.
and again, it’s more of a fact.
she was gorgeous.
absolutely,
without a doubt,
gorgeous.
you could feel your cheeks reddening and palms sweating as you looked down at her stuck, in a trance and absolutely smitten.
in your staring, you were unaware that this was the second time this had happened today.
leah however, was aware.
she was very very aware.
and you missed the way the defender’s breath hitched when you shifted your weight slightly, all too caught up in your own thoughts.
the ref’s whistle was what knocked both of you out of your trances, both equally flustered and cheeks equally red, you stood up quickly and stuck a hand out, almost staggering over at the sparks that shot up your arm when she pulled herself up.
the two of you were now standing, and you opened your mouth to say something, but leah starts first, the heavy english accent making your heart skip a beat.
“that was my fault i’m sorry”
“oh don’t be it’s fine” you reply quickly, the two of you falling into a silence right after.
never breaking eye contact, the tension was almost palpable.
its only when you hear jessie calling your name that you break it, turning to look at your best friend, before quickly looking back towards the defender to give her a nod and a smile before running towards your team, actions that she reciprocates.
~~
“i feel like if i didn’t call you the two of you would’ve started fucking right in front of us” jessie said, a comment that elicited a snort from eriksson, and a punch from you.
“ow! y/n!”
you stick your tongue out at her in response.
leah’s eyes followed you as you left, a soft smile forming when she sees you and jessie’s antics.. though she isn’t quite sure of the nature relationship between the two of you yet…
right. the game.
there’s an fa cup final still happening.
the rest of the game continued as usual, though you couldn’t help but notice that a certain defender’s eyes were on you every few minutes.
to be honest you couldn’t keep your eyes off her either, but you shook your head.
you had a game to win.
and win it you did, scoring your sixth goal for chelsea with a beautiful chip into the corner of the next and as a result securing the fa cup title for your team with a 1-0 win over arsenal.
you shook hands after the match, leah holding onto your hand just a little bit longer than normal, an act that kicked your heart into high gear once again.
a few minutes later, you walked slowly, making your way back to the locker room when you notice leah chatting with lisa, the latter who, upon meeting your eyes promptly disappears.
all of a sudden it’s just the two of you.
you break the silence first.
“you played really well, i’m sorry you guys didn’t win.”
leah thinks for a moment before she replies:
“it’s fine. i mean i had a hot girl on top of me twice today. i can’t complain.”
your cheeks turn red at her words, but you cock your head to the side in confusion when the words fully register.
“twice? what do you mean twice?”
“warmups?”
a little silence. and then, the lightbulb moment.
“oh my god. that was you? i’m so sorry i’m-“
leah laughs and brushes it off.
“don’t worry. it was cute.”
she was full on flirting with you now, and you really, really couldn’t handle it.
thank god for jessie, saving you from what could have been absolute chaos, when she calls for you from the locker room.
before leah turns, she gives you a wink, effectively freezing you in place, your cheeks painted scarlet.
jessie lets out a sigh from across the field.
“gay panic.”
~~
“i’m not! i’m just.. doing scientific research?” you answer hesitantly.
jessie rolls her eyes.
“sure y/n. whatever you say.”
you weren’t an arsenal fan.
you weren’t.
you just happened to catch all their games.
especially when leah was starting.
who were you kidding even leah sitting on the bench was attractive.
you had it bad.
“if you watch a live game i will make fun of you until the day i die.”
jessie pauses and then corrects herself:
“no scratch that. if you buy an arsenal jersey i will make fun of you until the day i die.”
you scoff.
“i would neve-“
you bought one.
a #6 arsenal jersey.
ugh an arsenal jersey? you were pretty sure your family would disown you.
at the very least jessie saw the hilarity of it.
“my god you are whipped,” she got out through a fit of laughter.
you debated telling her about the game ticket you purchased lying on your desk.
for the sake of the little bit of chelsea pride and sanity you had left, you decided against it.
~~
you wore a chelsea shirt.
granted it couldn’t be seen under your black hoodie, but you had to balance out the evils in some way, and slapping an old chelsea crest over your heart as you stepped foot in the arsenal stadium seemed like the best option to do so.
your seat was close to the pitch, right on top of the tunnel, and you hoped to catch a glimpse of the defender, all the while remaining anonymous.
the plan was for you to watch the game, and slip out when it finished without being seen and recognized.
lucky for you, the social distance seating was still in play, so with the 6 foot distance, your mask and baseball cap (and sunglasses when you came in), no one had noticed you.
you would never live it down if you were recognized.
the things you do for leah.
maybe you are a little whipped, but that’s besides the point.
arsenal was playing west ham today, a team you didn’t care all too much about.
your heart beat a little bit faster when the teams began walking out, it skipping a full beat when you saw the defender.
the game began and you couldn’t tear your eyes off of her, staring in awe at the absolute perfection of her crosses.
at halftime, arsenal was up by 4.
as you were sitting right above the tunnel, it was just your luck that when the teams made their way back into the locker rooms, leah looked up and her eyes locked with yours.
your eyes widened and you cursed internally.
leah shook her head and smirked, giving you a quick wink before she disappeared out of your sight.
you were panicking, and you had no choice but to give jessie a call.
~~
“you’re wHERE?” the canadian screamed into the receiver.
“i know i know but SHE SAW ME. i’m never going to live this down.” you groaned.
jessie couldn’t stop laughing.
“stop it. help me. before half time starts. please.”
“what do you want me to do?”
“i don’t know! give me some advice, tell me she won’t make fun of me, that stuff”
“okay okay, just be you. you haven’t scared her off yet so that has to mean something right?”
“oh shut up fleming.”
“hey! i’m trying to help!”
“fine fine continue.”
“so just keep doing what you’re doing. except don’t bang on the field this time. oh and don’t be an idiot. got it?”
“yes very helpful jess.”
“i know that’s why they call me the modern socrates. i’ve got the answers to everythin- you’re rolling your eyes at me aren’t you?”
you shrug even though she can’t see it.
“anddd now you’re shrugging. see this is the repayment i get for being such a dear and loving friend. wow i ca-“
“okay jess that’s enough, the second half is starting now, so bye thanks for your help, love you and don’t die!”
you let out a sigh before focusing again on the game in front of you.
arsenal’s performance the second half was even more spectacular than the first, netting 5 goals, bringing the total up to 9.
leah’s performance here was even better than that if possible.
the ninth and final goal was scored by none other than leah williamson herself, with a header from a perfectly placed corner by katie.
the whistle blew and arsenal won with a sweeping victory, leah coming away with 4 assists and a goal, something that you couldn’t help but be a little proud of.
your eyes never left the defender, who went around and took a few photos with fans before making her way towards you.
“fancy seeing you here, didn’t take you to be an arsenal fan.”
“oh i’m just scouting out the enemy” you retorted. “i’ve actually got a chelsea shirt on under this.”
leah gasped with mock offense, “a traitor, how dare you.”
you let out a hearty laugh at that, missing the way leah’s eyes soften at the sound.
“on purely observational note, you played great today,” you comment.
leah responded with a wink:
“was showing off a little bit for you.”
“i will say that was a beautiful header, but it still can’t beat mine though” you grin cheekily.
“oh? might you show me how it’s done then, if you’re oh so great”
“come watch one of my game’s and you’ll find out” you reply, giving her a wink.
“ick me attending a chelsea game? i would never. i’m too loyal to my club. unlike you.”
you let out a gasp.
the banter went on for a little while longer, before leah cut you off and asked:
“would you like to go get coffee with me sometime?”
and before you could say anything she added:
“like on a date?”
you pretend to give it a bit of deep thought before saying:
“only if you come to one of my games.”
“deal.”
604 notes · View notes
spiderlilyserendipity · 4 years ago
Note
omg violet you write so well!! if you can, could you write a taehyung nsfw of while on vacation, tae's girlfriend wakes him up early with kisses and promises to do "whatever he wants" if he gets up with her and explores the city and tae holds her to that promise when they get back to their hotel starting with some steamy (private) hot tub sex?
Anon, you are awesome but you have ruined my brain. I got so carried away writing this fic, it is double the size I thought it would be. Many thoughts, head full typa situation. Thank you. This one is titled Only One. Enjoy <3
WC: 4475
Genres: Smut, fluff, angst
Tags: established relationship, anniversary dinners, tae x oc take a trip to Paris
Warnings: dom/sub relationship, dom!taehyung, sub!reader, sir kink, punishment, praise kink, use of the word slut once, colour system as a safeword, insecurity, possessiveness, possessive sex, aftercare, taehyung is very 🥵🥵🥵 in this one y’all
(*Cis female reader*)
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“Y/N, Y/N, should we take a picture over there?” Taehyung asks, batting his eyes cutely.
You smile but roll your eyes at Taehyung’s enthusiasm.
Not to be mistaken, if there’s anyone who loves their boyfriend, it’s you. You would live and die for Kim Taehyung, but there’s a special reason for your eyeroll today.
It has been only two weeks since Taehyung got off tour, and at that a world tour. You know Taehyung must be very tired from constantly travelling, hence why you let your boyfriend get his full rest the first week. But the thing is you haven’t seen your lover in a year, and you want to make some memories with him. 
You know he will get too busy once the post-tour lull passes over everyone at the company and everything goes back to regular schedule. Then, Taehyung will get sucked away by album preparations, promotions once it’s out, and inevitably: another tour.
You love that Taehyung gets to do what he loves for a living. You also love how cool he looks on stage. But most of all you like getting to spend time with him. 
To be honest, you were going to go see Taehyung in Paris during the European leg of the tour. It had been your anniversary, and the two of you had plans to get dinner together and enjoy the city. But then life happened and your plans came crashing down, preventing you from seeing Taehyung until the tour ended months later.
But past you had thought quickly, knowing the day Taehyung would return home and shifted your ticket instead of cancelling. So a week after Taehyung got home, you presented him with a second plane ticket to Paris, France that you bought last minute just for him.
You thought Taehyung would agree with making up for your missed anniversary, but Taehyung had frowned instead. “Babe, I seriously don’t want to go anywhere for a while. I’m sick of hotels and planes.”
“But I’ve never been there, baby. It would be so romantic!” You convinced him eventually, your pout winning him over. Taehyung had sighed, then called his manager to let him know.
So excited from Taehyung agreeing, you had leapt up into his arms and kissed him like crazy. “Ahhh! I’m so excited!”
Taehyung had held back a grin. “Okay. But no touristy stuff.”
You pout. “But that’s the most fun part!” When Taehyung pouts back, you try to convince him again. “Baby, I promise I’ll seriously do anything you say if you do all the embarrassing touristy stuff with me.”
“Anything?” Taehyung asked you, arching a brow. 
You took his hand, nodding eagerly. “Anything. Let’s just have fun!”
Taehyung grinned at you. “You better keep your word.”
You had kissed him, grinning at him. He watched you with a fond smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “You bet I will.” You vow.
It isn’t until you actually land in Paris that you realize what anything Taehyung is imagining.
For all his great qualities, Taehyung is not subtle about what he wants. Especially when he wants you.
The first three days, Taehyung lets you drag him around under the condition that you both wear disguises to avoid being noticed. You comply, picking odd hours of the day for activities that would be very busy at other times of day. You hit all the touristy spots in early mornings before the crowd, hide away in small tucked away cafes and restaurants with Taehyung during lunch hour, then spend the day browsing vintage stores for jewellery and clothes. 
It’s all fun and games except for the teasing that Taehyung will not stop. It’s hard for you to name a time of day where Taehyung’s big hands hadn’t been resting on your waist or his lips idly pressing a kiss to your cheek in passing. You know very well the game Taehyung is playing. He is slowly working you up, getting you used to his constant touches. Then, he will withdraw them, leaving you needy. 
Despite Taehyung’s teasing, the two of you still have a great time. You buy souvenirs for your friends and things for yourself. Taehyung also buys you clothes and jewellery, loving to spoil you. But what you love the most are the small establishments he brings you to, full of tasty food and where no one knows his name. You know the game Taehyung is playing, but you let him guide you to an isolated table towards the back and feed you food off his own utensils. You let him wipe the corner of your mouth for some smeared sauce, let him lick it off his thumb. Sometimes, you even get a little on your face on purpose. Taehyung notices when you do that, and lets you get away with it. After all, this isn’t a favour he’s doing you. This is your anniversary trip. He can’t be the only one getting away with teasing.
The following three days, the two of you hit the museums. Taehyung shows you around, explaining things he had seen on previous trips to Paris. You listen to him, happier to see him happy than to really look at the art. You take pictures of your boyfriend inside the museum and really anywhere it won’t catch too much attention.
Over those three days, Taehyung’s touches decrease. He reduces it little by little, but you know him well by now. Taehyung isn’t trying to be subtle, rather the opposite. He wants you to notice, to get riled up when his touch is gone. 
You tell yourself you don’t mind it, but both of you know it’s a lie. You ignore the smirk on Taehyung’s face every time you intertwine your hands or wrap an arm around his waist to guide him through the back roads. You will get back at him at dinner tonight.
After lunch on the final day, you tell Taehyung to head back to the hotel on his own. You say you are going to buy a new dress for your dinner date tonight, and that you want it to be a surprise for him. Chuckling, Taehyung just passes you his blackcard and tells you to have fun.
You buy a dark green coloured gown, Taehyung’s favourite colour, and a matching necklace and earrings set of emeralds. You smile at the sight of your ass being cupped by the silky material. This is sure to drive Taehyung mad. After all, tonight is the final night. Both of you know exactly how tonight will end.
You catch a cab to the five star Taehyung made a reservation at. You pay the taxi driver excitedly, getting out in your all new outfit, new heels, and even a new purse! You were sure to impress Taehyung.
You walk into the restaurant, telling the waiter who you’re here with. He lets you in, guiding you upstairs to your table.
You frown as you see your table. From this angle, you can’t see who, but Taehyung is talking to a woman. You approach quietly, catching neither of their attention. Luckily (or unluckily) for you, they’re talking loudly. You don’t speak much French but you don’t need it to deal with this woman. You hear her mention the word “model” and a woman’s clothing brand. You hear her repeat “model” a second time as she blatantly roams her eyes down Taehyung’s figure, then up at him. That’s the part that makes your blood boil. You know she is aware of your presence. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what kind of relationship you and Taehyung have.
But she still challenges you anyway, openly eyeing your man in public. If you could speak more French than basic small talk you would rip her a new one. 
Fuck it. You think, making your way across the room. Who needs to know the language?
“Oh, baby.” You say in a sweet voice. They both look over at you. The woman looks visibly irritated, pursing her perfect lips in annoyance. What a shame you like to flirt with other women’s men. You think, slightly in awe at her beauty. I’d like you in any other situation. “Is this a friend?” You ask.
You see a hint of a smile before Taehyung bites it back. “No, Y/N. We just met tonight.”
You smile pointedly at the woman. She frowns at you. “Ah, I see. Well, it was nice meeting you. We haven’t had dinner yet, so.” You say, pretending to be apologetic for cutting the conversation short. All three of you know you’re not, but it’s the thought that counts. Or doesn’t. You couldn’t care less.
“Colour.” Taehyung asks the minute you’re back in the hotel room. 
“Green.” 
“Poor baby. Got so angry that I took my eyes off you, huh?” Taehyung teases, hooking his fingers in the band of your underwear. He pulls back, making it snap against your hips. You whimper. “What’s that? Are you trying to say something?” Taehyung taunts you.
He cranes his head to look at you. He cups your face and makes you look at him. He makes a fake-worried face. “That’s odd, you were talking perfectly fine a few hours ago. Was it something in the food that’s making you feel sick or are you just embarrassed from being a possessive little slut in front of sir?”
His words make you shiver. He grins as he feels it against his own abdomen. “It seems like you’re really sick, Y/N. I guess we'll just have to go to bed.”
He begins to unwind his arms from around your waist, but you grab them, holding them against your skin. “S-Sir.” You whisper.
“There’s my girl.” Taehyung says proudly, rewarding you with a kiss to your temple. “Let’s talk about what you did wrong tonight, shall we?”
“I-I was possessive. I got jealous because you were talking to that model.”
Taehyung’s eyes flicker at the last word. “Oh, you heard?” He snaps the band of underwear against your skin again. You wriggle, but he refuses to let you go. “What a bad girl. Eavesdropping on sir’s conversations. What if she had been a potential colleague and you ruined everything? But you didn’t think of any of that, only your. own. feelings.” He emphasizes each of the three words with another smack. “You’re just an ungrateful little slut, aren’t you? I bet you would open your legs for any man that offered you this kind of treatment, huh?” He growls in your ear.
“I-I’m sorry.” You whisper, voice cracking.
Taehyung stops. “Colour.” He says, thumbs gently stroking at your sides.
“Green.” 
“Y/N.” He repeats more firmly. You sniffle. A tear rolls down your cheek. Taehyung thumbs it away immediately. “We don’t have to. I’m sorry. Do you want to take a bath together? We can cuddle after. Anything you’re comfortable with baby.”
You shake your head, looking away from him. “I’m really okay. I...I want my punishment.”
Taehyung turns you to look at him. He watches your face, looking for any unwillingness. He cups your face and makes you look at him. He smiles finally when he sees the familiar, hazy look in your eyes. You are already slipping into subspace.
“Follow me.” Taehyung says.
You walk behind him, still naked except for your panties. Taehyung is still entirely clothed in his suit and tie. He leads you to the fancy living room of the suite, and closes the curtains. You wait until he sits down to approach him. You observe his spread legs and the stern look in his eye. The air in the living room is freezing cold, but it only adds to it. This is one of the many things you love about Taehyung. How incredibly sexy he looks when he is in control.
Without being asked, you get on the sofa on your hands and knees. You drape your body over Taehyung’s lap, ass up in his lap. You fold your arms over the sofa’s armrest, turning your head to look at Taehyung. 
Taehyung’s warm hand caresses your ass. He kneads at the flesh roughly without breaking eye contact with you. On the outside, he looks indifferent, dark eyes sultry. He makes it look like he couldn't care less if it was you or another sub being bent to his will. But you know it’s part of the scene, that he’s watching you this intensely for your reaction and it is only your reaction he ever wants in a setting like this.
“You can safeword out if you need to.” He reminds you. You nod, putting your head against the armrest. “Count.” He tells you, before the first smack comes down.
You flinch on instinct, but his arm pins the backs of your thighs down. “One.”
Another smack but to the other cheek. You hiss under your breath. “Two.”
Taehyung gives the next three in succession. “F-Five.”
“Colour?” Taehyung re-checks. You reply green again. He delivers two more. “Six, ah, seven.”
The next two smacks are harsher. “Eight, nine一!” As you’re counting, Taehyung gives the final one. This one is the hardest of all, making the two of you sink a little lower into the sofa. “T-Ten.”
You are crying now, falling deeper into your subspace. Taehyung’s warm hands smooth over the places they hit. His voice murmurs sweet nothings in your ear, reassuring you.
“S-Sorry.” You continue to cry. “I didn’t mean to be like that.”
“I know.” Taehyung reassures you. He helps you up into a sitting position. It burns to sit on your still painful ass, but you do so anyway because it’s Taehyung who asks you to do it. “You took my punishment very well, Y/N, just like a good girl.”
You shake your head, sniffling. “I don’t wanna be ‘a good girl’, I wanna be your good girl.” You say. Taehyung frowns slightly as he wonders what that means, then looks shocked when he realizes what you’re saying.
“You are my good girl, baby.” He says softly, wiping away your tears. “No one but you.”
“But i-it was our a-anniversary dinner and you were letting her flirt with you. You just一just let her do it. And when I called you baby at the restaurant, you only called me Y/N.” You confess, giving up your fake confident act. The truth is that despite your anger in the moment, you had felt very insecure. It wasn’t like you could blame the woman for finding your boyfriend hot, anyone would. But the fact that Taehyung never said anything back and just put up with it instead of correcting her bothered you. Was it embarrassing to admit he was dating you in front of a woman who was so obviously his equal in elegance? This thought bothered you throughout the whole dinner. 
You didn’t plan on telling Taehyung about it, since he didn’t know you sometimes felt this way. One of the reasons you insisted on travelling to make up for your missed anniversary was this doubt. Maybe if you showed him around this fancy city and you made good memories with him, he might appreciate it. Maybe then it would ease your doubt of if you were worthy enough to be his.
You had never admitted this aloud to anyone, but you actually wondered If Taehyung had women in other countries that he went on dates with during tour. You know Taehyung is a good person but after all, he is a young man with sexual needs. And at that, a very attractive man who could get with just about any woman he wanted. So yes, seeing him talk to the very attractive woman had angered you, but it also made you feel like your worst fears might be true. 
“Y/N, talk to me, baby.” Taehyung pleads you, his worried brown eyes searching your face for any answers.
“...Can I ask you a question?” 
“Of course, my love.” Taehyung responds. “Ask me anything you want, baby.’
You sniffle. You play with his suit blazer. “Can you promise to not get mad at me?”
Taehyung looks like he might cry when you ask that. “I promise.”
“When you go away for tour...is there anyone else?” You watch your own tears fall onto Taehyung’s dress shirt. Taehyung looks shaken. “It might seem random but I’ve always wondered. I promise I’m not just acting up because of tonight.”
Taehyung continues to watch you, looking worried and at a loss for words. You put on a fake smile. “Sorry, it’s probably nothing. Let’s just go to bed.” 
Taehyung holds you by the waist, stopping you from getting up. “Y/N.”
“I said it’s fine. It’s okay. Really, even if you had another woman. I can’t control what you do when you’re not with me. A year is too long for a couple to spend apart anyway, it’s only natural that your feelings would change. It’s okay. Anyway,” You breathe shakily. “Anyway I’m still yours. As long as you like, of course.”
“Of course I like it.” Taehyung insists, tears glistening in his eyes. “I love you. Tell me how long you’ve felt like this.”
You hesitate. “Y/N.” There it is again, that firm tone that you hate outside of scenes. 
You look down at your hands. “Maybe two years?”
Taehyung is crying now, and he cups your face in his hands. “You’ve been thinking like this for two years? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“...I didn’t want to burden you. You’re really busy on tour.”
Taehyung purses his lips. “Can I show you there’s no one else?”
You nod. Taehyung lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist. He holds you by the backs of your thighs instead of your ass, careful not to hurt you. “The bed?” He asks. You consider the feeling of the rough sheets against your sore ass. 
You shake your head. “C-Can we use the hot tub?”
Taehyung kisses your forehead. “Anything for you.”
Taehyung sets up the hot tub for both of you. He takes your panties off for you, sliding them down your legs. He kisses you deeply, sweetly. You whimper into the kiss, his tongue completely in control of your mouth. When you part, a strand of saliva comes loose. When you part far enough, the saliva ends up on your chin. Taehyung wipes it with his thumb. A darkness has entered his eyes again. “Get in. Let me show you how much I love you.”
You get in the hot tub, relishing the feeling of the hot water. It stings a bit, but it’s easier to sit then the bed would have been. You sit with your legs spread slightly, calves tucked under you and feet beneath your ass. Neat and pretty. Just the way sir likes it.
Taehyung strips quickly once you’re in the water. Your eyes roam over his beautiful body, at the hard muscle of his chest, his bulging biceps, his caramel thighs, and his rigid cock. “Come here.” Taehyung orders as he gets in the water. You do so, climbing up into his lap. He kisses you hungrily, like this is the first time all night. You are surprised at the intensity of this kiss. You cannot recall a time Taehyung has ever kissed you so passionately in your years together, even in your roughest scenes. 
“So pretty.” Taehyung growls when you two part again. He wraps one arm around your waist to press your chest against his, then attacks your neck. You gasp as he makes love bites, all the way down your neck. He has never made this many before in total, yet he makes them everywhere tonight. He litters your collarbone and the top of your chest with them, making them bloom red at first but you know they will be a deep purple shade tomorrow. “How can you not know what you mean to me, when you’re this fucking beautiful? You drove me crazy in your dress tonight, no, you drive me crazy every fucking time I see you. Maybe even since the first time I met you.”
“S-Sir.” You moan at the praise, face heating up. Taehyung pushes you back against the wall of the hot tub. You tilt your head back against the tiles as he touches you everywhere. He uses his hands to tease at your nipples, making them harden. Even as he does it, he is grinding down on you. You can feel yourself getting wetter by the second. 
“You fucking know I am.” Taehyung snaps, losing the careful composure he wears during scenes. “You’re my one and my only. Look at yourself, so fucking lewd, all worked up by my touch. You have me wrapped around your finger and you still think I’d have another woman.” He continues, cursing in between his sentences at your sweet sounds.
“S-Sorry.”
“Don’t ever be sorry.” Taehyung cuts you off. You let out moans as he starts rubbing at your clit, hard and fast. You grind against his hand. In his dom persona, Taehyung would never tolerate you doing this, but both of you are too far gone tonight to follow the rules to a T. “I will clear this misunderstanding tonight. On your knees, princess.” 
You lean on top of the towel Taehyung placed for you on the tiles. Taehyung places his own knees outside of yours, and you feel his hard cock against your ass. Taehyung eases two fingers into you, wet from your arousal that it’s an easy fit. “Nnn, sir.” You plead, grinding down on him. 
“You won’t get more until you say what I want to hear.” Taehyung says next to your ear. He presses his chest into your back, pinning you to the edge of the hot tub. “Who do you belong to?”
“Sir! I belong to sir!” You cry out, and Taehyung picks up the pace.
“So fucking pretty.” Taehyung praises, kissing the marks he left on your neck. “Only you get treated like this, understand? No woman could ever be loved like this by me. Every time you forget I will bend you over my lap and make you come on my cock over and over until you get it in your head.”
You let out a particularly loud moan at that, making Taehyung smirk. “Does my princess like that, hmm? You want to get bent over and take my cock all the time? Want me to fill you up with my come, plug you with a pretty little toy, and make you go about your day?” Taehyung inserts another finger and the stretch has you whining. “Answer me.” He demands.
“I do. Ah, fuck, Taehyung. Please. I do.” You plead, tilting your head to the side. Taehyung meets you immediately in a passionate kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth, completely different from Taehyung’s usual style. Is this really what he can do when he lets go? You wonder, getting drunk on his kisses alone. You thought Taehyung had been rough before, but it’s nothing compared to tonight.
“Turn around.” Taehyung says, withdrawing his fingers. 
He takes in your needy expression, leaning in to kiss you again like he can’t get enough of you. “Can I come in you, baby? Have you been taking your pill regularly?” 
“Yes. Yes.” You chant. Taehyung laughs breathlessly, grabbing a fistful of your hip in one hand and lining himself up to your entrance.
When he enters, both of you moan. “So good. Whose are you, princess?”
“Yours, only yours.” You answer breathlessly. Taehyung grips your thighs and lifts you slightly, allowing him to enter you more deeply. 
Taehyung abruptly picks up the pace of his thrusts. You grip at his shoulders for support, unable to stop the noises that fall from your lips constantly. Not only is Taehyung going fast, he is also going incredibly deep, rubbing right over your G-spot. 
“C-Can I come, sir?” You beg.
Taehyung nods, and you move one hand between your legs to rub at your clit. As you tip your head back, Taehyung holds himself deep inside you. Both of you come at the same time, you clench hard around him and Taehyung pumps his seed inside you. He kisses at the marks on your neck as he comes, and you dig your nails into his back. 
You move your hand to his hair once you finish, stroking it gently. Taehyung pulls back from the wall, his hand smoothing down your back to ease any discomfort you felt being pressed against it. You don’t even notice until the postcoital bliss dies down that your ass was now more sore than before. But Taehyung does. 
“Let’s take a shower.” He tells you, helping you up. You both get out of the hot tub. Taehyung runs a small handcloth under the tap. He comes over and wipes your vagina down first, then cleaning himself. 
The two of you get in the shower together. You let Taehyung wash your body down, scrubbing gently and avoiding touching your ass. You grab his shampoo off the ledge and put a good amount in your palms. “What are you doing?” Taehyung asks, surprised that you turned around while he was washing your back.
“Taking care of you.” You mumble, washing Taehyung hair for him. You grab the detachable showerhead from the side. You shield his eyes with a hand as you rinse the soap out.
Taehyung smiles fondly at how concentrated you look. “Baby, a dom is supposed to look after their sub following a scene. Not the other way.”
You shrug. You probably heard that somewhere. Your brain is too foggy right now to think. “But I want to.”
“Oh yeah?” 
“Yes.” You answer, smiling at how nice Taehyung’s hair looks now that it’s clean. “Because I belong to you.”
Taehyung lightly pecks your forehead. “And I’m yours.”
Later, when the haze of your subspace wears off, you two are laying in bed together. You’re wearing one of Taehyung’s shirts and a pair of panties. Taehyung is shirtless and in a pair of boxers. Taehyung has just finished putting lotion on your sore bottom to ease the ache for tomorrow. 
You lay on top of Taehyung’s chest, and Taehyung tucks the blankets tucked in around you. You snuggle up against his chest, content in his strong arms.
“Y/N, I know I already proved my point, but you really are my only one.” Taehyung tells you. You don’t reply so he cranes his head to look at you. Taehyung smiles fondly to notice you’re already asleep. He kisses the top of your head. “No problem. I guess I have the rest of my life to prove it to you.” He mutters to himself.
You smile to yourself with your eyes closed.
Requests are open (✿◡‿◡)
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You Don’t Know My Name II Draco Malfoy x Reader
Summary: You are madly in love with Draco Malfoy but he doesn’t know you exist. Until the sixth year.
A/N: okay, I’ve tried uploading this two times already. Let’s see if it works this time. Also - I hope you enjoy it! It’s just a little something I wrote today. <3
Words: 3.5k Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!Reader Warnings: none
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Draco Malfoy doesn’t know who you are.
It’s ironic really. You are a Slytherin after all, a pureblood, and in the same Year as him. You go to the same parties, you share the same common room, and his best friend Blaise helps you study from time to time. Yet, Draco Malfoy doesn’t know you.
Sometimes you wonder if it’s because of your family. Maybe they are too poor or their jobs not as high-ranking enough. Everyone knows the name ‘Lucius Malfoy’. Nobody knows the name of your father. Or is it simply because of you? Do boys like Draco Malfoy don’t look at girls like you?
It’s probably the latter. You come the conclusion one night in the common room when he sits together with his friends after the Second Trial in the Triwizard Tournament. You make yourself comfortable at a table nearby, looking up from your homework from time to time – and then you see it: the look he gives Pansy Parkinson when she tries to make a joke but can’t finish it properly because she’s laughing too hard. He looks at her the same way you gaze up into the night sky – so full of admiration – and he starts joining in her laughter even though no one understands what she’s saying.
It hurts. It hurts so bad, you accidentally bite down on your tongue. However, at the same time it makes sense. How can anyone not fall in love with Pansy? She’s gorgeous with her long brown hair, falling over her shoulders in soft waves, and her skinny, toned figure that stems from all the Quidditch training. When she gazes at Draco, it is crystal clear that she likes him. That she looks up to him. And everyone knows, she’s exactly the type of girl Draco needs. Of course, he doesn’t notice someone like you.
However, you notice him. You noticed him on the first day of Hogwarts, right after they sorted you into Slytherin and sat down next to the blonde boy who congratulated you. The first and only words he ever spoke to you. You fell for Draco right then and there and the feelings linger on until today.
“Why do you even like him that much?”, a friend once asked you. “He’s a bully.”
“He’s not,” you protested. “He cares about his friends.”
She snorted. “He’s only nice to like … four people. The rest of us he ignores. Thank Merlin, we’re in Slytherin and not Gryffindor. Wouldn’t want to switch with Granger when he’s out for blood again.”
You rolled your eyes. Deep down in your heart, you knew back then that she was right. But also saw something else in him. You still do when you watch him on that couch tonight with Blaise, joking about something his father wrote to him in a letter.
Draco Malfoy cares. You are certain of that. He cares about the people he loves, and you believe that he would die for every single one of them in a heartbeat. It’s clear in the way, he casually touches their arms when he tells them a story. Or how his eyes light up when they congratulate him on a good game of Quidditch. Or how he jumps to their defense when a teacher confronts them about forgotten homework, lying on the spot, all so they don’t get in trouble. You don’t argue with your friend when she calls him a bully though. His words can be mean and disgusting and the way he treats muggleborn classmates leaves you speechless every time. There is no excuse. However, you believe there is a reason. Sometimes you wonder if the reason is his father. Or why else does Draco flinch whenever Mr. Malfoy reaches for him?
No, you are convinced that Draco Malfoy cares about his friends. Sadly, they are only a select few. You do not belong to them.
“Draco,” the high-pitched scream brings you back into reality. Draco had pulled Pansy into his lap and she giggles as he tickles her. Blaise wiggles his eyebrows at Theo, both of them sharing knowing glances.
You want to hate Pansy. You really do. But how can you when she has only ever been nice to you? She’s sweet and funny and your favorite partner in Potions because she is – on top of all that – really fucking smart. Pansy Parkinson is not someone you can ever hate. In fact, a part of you wishes her well and hopes that she finds happiness with Draco. She deserves it. They deserve each other.
You close your book and put it into your bag, together with the quill and ink. Maybe studying in the library will cause less distractions.
***
Seasons change and years fly by. Only your feelings for Draco stay the same.
You watch him get together with Pansy and then break up again. It is a nasty sight to see for everyone around them. They fight and scream at each other in the common room, only to kiss and make up a few weeks later. This happens a few times until they finally decide to stay friends. For some magical reason, it works. You guess, they didn’t find happiness in each other after all.
Pansy goes on a few dates with an older Slytherin and Draco finds interest in Astoria. Oddly enough, she’s the younger sister of your friend Daphne. She is shy, clever, and pretty. And now you are subject to long rants about him when she barges into your dorm once again, in desperate needs of advice from her sister. At times you wonder if Daphne knows about your feelings. She sends you sympathetic glances every time Astoria talks about him in front of you and tries to change the conversation when you approach them. You never say a word to her about it though.
Eventually they break up as well but not before the rumor reaches you that she is meant to be his betrothed after school. You swallow when you hear that and try to forget it.
***
It’s the sixth year when something changes. Something about him.
You notice it for the first time in the Hogwarts Express when he makes a comment about jumping off the Astronomy Tower and not finishing school. It is strange enough that even Daphne shoots you a confused glance and raises her eyebrows.
Draco becomes quiet over the next months. You don’t see him around that often anymore. He stays away from his friends, dodges their questions at meals. He doesn’t react when Weasley says something stupid in class and keeps forgetting his homework. His grades plummet and even Professor McGonagall asks him if he’s feeling alright when he can’t answer her questions. He says yes and tells her, he isn’t sleeping well at the moment.
You believe him. The circles underneath his eyes grow darker with every passing day and his skin is paler than usual. Whenever he sits down somewhere, he keeps tapping on the surfaces. Strange, fast rhythms and he chews on his lips as if he is trying to figure out a secret. That behavior stops after the Christmas break. The tapping changes to empty stares. He doesn’t lie to his friends anymore instead he shoves them away and tells them to leave him alone.
You worry. So fucking much that you can’t sleep at night. Your eyes keep searching for him in class and you wish to be brave enough to go up and ask him what’s wrong. Not that you expect any kind of answer. He will probably look at you with confusion before turning his back on you. Who are you, a stranger, to talk to him in that way? No, you aren’t in any position to reach out to him and you keep telling yourself that. Instead, you don’t say a word and lower your gaze when your eyes accidentally lock from across the room.
***
“Did you hear? Potter tried to kill Malfoy.”
Your books crash down on the ground. The Ravenclaw, a boy you know from your Transfiguration class, who had just said this to a friend of his, quickly bends down. “Here, let me help you with that.”
“Thank you,” you mumble distraught as he hands them back to you. “What did you just say?”
The boy frowns. “Let me –”
“No,” you say impatiently. “About Potter.”
“Oh.” The confusion doesn’t vanish from his face. “I thought all the Slytherins knew already.”
“I was in the library the whole day, what happened?” Slowly, you become annoyed. Why was this so hard to get out of him?
“Something went down in Myrtle’s bathroom,” the Ravenclaw explains when he sees the anger flashing in your eyes. “Apparently Potter tried to kill Malfoy. He’s badly hurt and –”
It’s all you need to know. Without another word, you begin to hurry down the hall and then sprint down the stairs.
“Hey!”, you hear the boy call out from behind you. “It’s probably only a rumor!”
***
It’s not a rumor. You know it when you see Blaise and Pansy standing together, whispering, nervously glancing over their shoulders. Your heart threatens to jump out of your chest and a cold fear creeped up inside of you.
Potter tried to kill Malfoy.
What does that even mean? Is he dead? No, then the boy would have worded it differently. Then Narcissa Malfoy would already be here, raising hell. But is he hurt? How badly? Did they transfer him to St. Mungos already?
“He’ll be fine,” Daphne greets you when you barge into your shared dorm. You drop the books on your bed and turn to her. “He’ll be fine,” she repeats.
Slowly, her words fight their way through the fog that clouded your mind. Your breathing calmed down and you closed your eyes for a second.
“Where is he?”
“The hospital wing, he – hey, wait!”, she calls out as you make your way to the door again with long strides.
“What?”, you ask her.
“Where are you going?”
You furrow your brows. “To the hospital.”
“Why?”, she wants to know. The question startles you.
“Because …,” you begin but fail to find the right words.
Daphne lets out a soft sigh and smiles sadly at you. The pity in her eyes makes you want to punch her. “Astoria was there already,” she says. “He’s badly hurt but Madame Pomfrey can fix him up. He’ll be out of the hospital wing by tomorrow.”
You blink.
He’ll be fine.
He’ll be fine and that’s all that matters. He’s also badly hurt. The same rush of panic from before flows through you and you nervously shift from one foot to another.
“Is he alone right now?” You can’t bring yourself to look at Daphne.
“Yes,” she replies.
“I should go.”
“Why? He doesn’t even want his friends there let alone …”, she trails off but you know exactly how the sentence would have ended.
… let alone me.
Because why on earth would he want to see? You have a crush on him for almost seven years now, so what? A few girls probably do and even so – you are a coward. Not once in seven damn years did you try and talk to him. Always too shy, always hiding behind excuses. Instead, you watch him fall in love with other girls from afar. Pathetic.
And now he’s hurt. He’s hurt and alone and he could’ve died –  and you would regret not saying anything for years.
Regret. You will regret it.
The realization hit you like a brick wall. You will regret it if you don’t stop acting like this. Pining over him from far away. Merlin, do you really want to spend the remaining time in school this way?
The answer is no.
***
The hospital wing is empty except for the bed Draco lays in.
You had marched out of your dorm with confidence and hope, ignoring Daphne’s pleas for you to just stay with her, but as soon as you push open the doors all of that leaves you. What are you thinking? What are you doing here? You hesitate.
You see him lying at the end of the rows of beds. Close to Madame Pomfreys office. A few candles flicker, dimly illuminating the room. You squint your eyes, trying to see if Draco had notice you coming in. No. He is asleep as far as you can tell.
Slowly and almost on your toes, you walk up to him. His eyes are closed but even while sleeping, he doesn’t look peaceful. The line between his eyebrows is deep and he grips onto the sheets. He’s not in his school uniform anymore, instead he is wearing a black suit. How utterly uncomfortable, you think. You don’t see any wounds on him. Has Madame Pomfrey fixed him up already?
A sigh leaves your mouth, and you lean against the bed behind you, watching him for a while. Even though you are happy to see him alive and mostly well, the feeling of worry doesn’t leave the pit of your stomach. Something is wrong. Very, very wrong. Has been for a while now.
After a few more minutes, you get up and turn around to leave, disappointed about your failed mission. However, you don’t bring yourself to wake him up. Maybe tomorrow, you think, maybe tomorrow before class.
“Y/N.”
At first, you believe you imagined it. Or if it was your name that he said at all. Maybe he had just mumbled something in his sleep and your hopeful brain mistook it for more than it was. Still, you stop and listen.
“Y/N.”
This time it’s louder and very clearly not part of your imagination. Slowly, as if you are dreaming, you turn around.
Draco is awake. His eyes are open and he looks at you, irritated. Your heart begins to pump faster again as you stare at him.
“Why are you here?”, he asks after a few seconds. Good question.
You blink. “Uhm, I …,” you stammer, “I … how are you?”
“Alive,” he replies. He tries to sit up and hisses in pain. You suppress the urge to reach forward and help him. “Doesn’t answer my question though.”
“Right,” you agree and step closer. This is the longest conversation you ever had with Draco. “It does, actually,” you then argue, “I wanted to see how you were doing?”
“Why?”
The question confuses you. “You’re hurt.”
“So?”
“It’s the decent thing to do,” you state matter-of-factly.
“None of my friends came by.” He looks down as he says this, and you realize that this probably hurt way more than any physical wound. Your heart breaks for him.
“Astoria did,” you say in a soft voice.
“Huh,” he scoffs. “Must have been unconscious still.”
There is an awkward pause between the two of you. He stares at his blanket, his fingers playing with the edge of it. “Well, thanks,” he finally mumbles. “I’ll go back to sleep then.”
“Right,” you nod quickly. “Right, of course. You should get some sleep.”
He nods as well.
You turn around and just as you lift your foot to start walking, you realize that you haven’t told him what you came here for in the first place. You set your foot back down and look at him.
“You know my name.” It’s less of a question than you intended.
Draco looks up, taken aback by the question, and frowns. “Of course.”
“Why?”
“We’re in the same year.”
“The last time you spoke to me was in first grade.”
“So?”, he raises an eyebrow and for a second a glance of the old Draco is visible. Only for a second though.
“I just thought …”, you trailed off.
“I know every Slytherins name.” Draco pauses and adds: “Especially from the girls who have crushes on me.”
Heat rushes to your cheeks and your eyes widen at the statement. Oh fuck. He knows? Not only did he know your name, but he is aware of your feelings for him? You wish for hole to open up beneath you and swallow.
Draco only smirks. A sad, bitter version of his usual smirk. “It was a little obvious.”
“Oh Merlin,” you let out a deep breath. “Oh, this is humiliating.”
“It’s not,” he shakes his head, “if anything, I’m flattered.”
“Yeah, right,” you bury your face in your hands. “Oh, oh, you probably made fun of me all those years, oh, why am I so stupid, why –”
“Stop it, Y/L/N,” Draco suddenly demands. The sharp tone in his voice made you snap your head at him. “Sorry,” he sighed.
There’s another pause between the two of you. You still wish for the hole to appear. If he knew … all this time … that meant …
“Why didn’t you say anything?”, the words tumble out of your mouth, but you know the answer already.
The look on his face confirms your guess. “I don’t want to lie to you.”
You nod, slowly, trying to swallow down the sharp pain in your chest. You look up to the ceiling and blink a few times. You’ll be damned if you cry in front of Draco Malfoy. “Ouch, well, …”
“It’s not because I don’t think you’re clever or funny or beautiful,” he adds and his words sound sincere. However, you know what a perfect liar he can be.
You force a smile. “Right, no need to console me.”
Draco scoffs. “Do I look like someone who’d say something like that to console another person?”
You give him a half shrug and he looks a little insulted.
“I meant it,” he looks at you and adds after a moment of hesitation: “I noticed you this year.”
“Did you now,” you mumble.
“Yes”, his voice was unusually soft. “You kept looking at me. I don’t know, it was nice to see that someone still cared.”
You look at him and your eyes lock. The pain in his almost cause you to gasp. “I’m worried,” is all that you manage to say.
He smiles. It’s not a smirk. A smile. A sad one, but still. “I can’t tell you.”
Of course, he can’t. “I figured.”
Draco sighs and pulls the blanket up a little higher. “You should go now, Y/N.”
“Right, right.” You feel tears coming up again. Although, you are a little surprised by how well you composed yourself. After almost seven years of yearning, you expected to react a little heavier when he turned you down. You guess, the reaction would come as soon as you are out of eyes and ears. Maybe in your room. Hopefully not in front of Daphne. You can’t deal with a ‘told you so’ tonight. “I, well, I got what I came here for, I guess.”
“Wrong time,” another smile for you. “Maybe when it’s all over we could … go out some time.”
The phrasing of that sentence throws you off more than the suggestion ever could. You furrow your brows. “When it’s all over?”
He tenses up for a second before he replies: “School, I mean.”
The frown stays on your face. “What a weird way to say that.”
Draco doesn’t reply. A strange fear replaces the pain from the rejection. The same fear that creeps up in you whenever you think about is behavior. Something is wrong. Very wrong. Just when you open your mouth, he says: “Promise me something, alright?”
You stare at him. “What?”
“Stay down in your room tonight. No matter what you hear.” He doesn’t look at you.
“Why?”
“Just promise me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, Draco? Why do you want me –”
“I can’t say,” he hisses, and you flinch. He looks at you, distraught and there it was again – the fear. So clearly visible on his face. His voice softens a little when he speaks again: “Just promise me. Please.”
“Alright. Fine,” you take a step back. What is going on with him? What is happening tonight? Your head feels like it’s spinning.
“Thank you.” He sounds relieved.
You take a step back. And a second one. Suddenly, you want to leave this room. Quickly. “I’ll see you in class then,” you mutter. “Tomorrow.”
“Yes, see you then,” he replies but you are already on your way out. “Good night, Y/N.”
“Good night, Draco.” You don’t look back and your steps speed up as you walk towards the wooden door. Just when you are about to close them behind you, do you look at Draco one last time.
He still leans against the bed frame but doesn’t pay his attention to you. Instead, he stares at his arm. You squeeze your eyes as you try to figure out what he was doing – his sleeves are rolled up and he stares at the skin underneath them. Then suddenly, he tilts his arm. Just a little – but far enough for you to see.
You gasp and step back, letting the door fall shut in front of you.
“No”, you whisper to yourself, “no, it’s not real. It’s not real.”
It can’t be real. Because what else, if not a figment of your imagination, can the Dark Mark on his left arm be?
***
A/N: Thank you for reading! <3
HP Masterlist General Masterlist
Tag List: @writerdee1701​, @zpandaqueen​, @ladylizzieofdarbyshire​, @aspiring-ginger​, @nobleking​, @harpersmariano​, @dracos-slut​, @destiels-assbutt13​, @justmesadgirl​, @bbeautyybbx , @dracomalfoyswifey​, @donttellany1iusetumbler​, @beiahadid​, @lavenderblossom12
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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years ago
Text
aquarium | jjk
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
summary: You thought you and Jeon Jungkook would be last forever, but you had to read the ending yourself, in the form of typed words. When it arrived, you went to the blue sea. The grey sky would come and the black storm would appear.
warnings: cheating in established relationship; (very sad) angst; language; ambiguous ending; non-idol!AU; video game streamer!Jungkook x reader; ft. kind garden-loving landlord!Taehyung
--
now playing – trauma (aquarium) by ONEWE
this place has been transformed into something unknown i’m trapped alone in an aquarium
You could see the ending.
At first it was the little things. He held your hand a little less, stood a little further from you when you two walked side by side. Stared at his phone a lot.  Didn’t share his snacks as often. Spent all his time on his computer, streaming video games for longer and longer hours.
You had nothing to say. It was his job, after all.
You made his meals, washed his dishes. Changed his water bottles, gave him a kiss for the camera. Felt a little part of you die inside each time you went to bed alone, only to hear him slip under the blankets, hours after you. You went to work for longer and longer hours. There was no reason to go home. He ordered take-out for dinner every night.
Being Jeon Jungkook’s girlfriend was supposed to be fun.
And it was fun, at first. At first, he spent all this time with you. At first, he was always with you, by your side. He only streamed a little back then. It was a slow, gradual growth, and, like all parasites, it took over every aspect of your life. From your nights, to your days, to your time – making meals, cleaning up after him, doing all the laundry.
You could tolerate it. He made a lot of money. He was having fun. He was smiling. You would do anything for Jeon Jungkook. He dragged you into his sea and you swam in it happily. Until you realized you were stuck and alone, glass walls all around you, keeping you away from him. Seeing him, and yet not being able to touch him, kept away from his heart.
Caught in an aquarium.
He would give you kisses and tell you he wanted to get married.
He would say he loved you, but it was all a lie.
You weren’t in his Instagram photos. You weren’t part of his Twitter bio anymore. You weren’t listed in his phone with a little purple heart next to your name. Even that, you wouldn’t mind. He told you he didn’t want you to get harassed by trolls. He told you that he wasn’t ashamed of you, that you were the most beautiful woman in the world.
But.
Then again.
He told every girl in his DMs that.
You stared at them that faithful night, unable to sleep, reading them all. Jungkook was asleep beside you, snoring away, and you read every single one. The WhatsApp messages were worse. They were so much worse. More sexual, detailing what he wanted to do to other people. Not you. Not you, the love of his life. Not you, the one by his side.
You knew how to backtrack and retrace your steps. Make it seem like you were never there. Placed his phone on his side of the bed and went to sleep. He held you that night. Turned around in his sleep and wrapped his arms around you.
Inside, you drowned.
When he told you that he was going to a gaming convention, he was very excited. Grinning his beautiful grin, snacking on shrimp chips as you washed the dishes. It was only the weekend, only two days. He wasn’t going to go for the Friday or Monday, so he could spend time with you.
“I would totally invite you, but you said you have to work that weekend.”
You said apologetically. “I know. I’m sorry. But I have to be there for my co-workers.”
He frowned and nudged you. “You work too much. You know you don’t have to. We can just live off my streaming money. I can buy you nice things.”
“I would feel bad for leaving them. I’ve worked at that office for seven years.”
He smirked, elbowing you a little. “Cheating on me with all the cute guys?”
You carefully wiped down the glass, placing it back in the cabinet, smile plastered to your face.
“No guy is cuter than you, Jungkook.”
That was the weekend you left.
You went to work, confirmed your month-long vacation of all the hours you’ve collected over the years, and packed every belonging you owned in that apartment. To be honest, there wasn’t very much. Anything Jungkook had ever bought you, you left behind.
There was no reason to hold onto it.
For a long moment, you stared at the photos, the stack of photos of you and him. Your smile, his smile, the places you’ve been, the things you’ve seen with him. Then you placed them on the bed, scattering them, spreading them all over the blankets.
You left it like that.
-
You went to the ocean.
You dropped the boxes at a storage unit in the city. Took only a carry-on bag of clothes and took a train to the coast. You left your phone in the storage unit too, telling your parents you were going on vacation to the sea. Didn’t say where, only mentioned you wanted to unplug, unwind, disconnect.
Disconnect.
The cottage you rented was cared for by a nice young man with dark brown hair and tan skin. He said it was his parents’ and that he was renting it out for them. If you needed anything, you could contact him and he wouldn’t hesitate to help. He had a bright, boxy smile and a cheerful tone. You thanked him for being so considerate.
You sat on the edge of the cliff, legs dangling over the side.
Your pink flats were right beside you, and your arms were resting on the wooden fence. The ocean breeze was strong here, salty and cold. You were in a long-sleeved white dress that was going to get dirt and grass stains on it, but that sort of thing didn’t matter now.
Clothes could be replaced.
The garden rock in your hand spun round and round, dancing between your deft fingers. Your left hand. The hand that held his when you two walked side by side, fitting in his right covered in small tattoos. He had a king’s crown tattoo on his ring finger and asked you if you would get a queen’s crown tattoo someday. It didn’t have to be on your hand. Anywhere was fine. 
You looked at your left hand then, the hand that was holding his, and then it didn’t.
And then it didn’t.
You stared down into the crashing waves and jagged rocks under you. It was cold here. How far down was that? White forth slammed against eroding stone. Even mountains weren’t forever. Even something as solid as rock could be ground down into nothing with water.
Your eyes shifted to the shimmering sea, the endless blue, sun reflecting harshly off it. It didn’t matter how beautiful the water was or how many extraordinary creatures were under the surface. The deep sea hid all the worst creatures, all the terrible monsters. Not even science could go that far and discover all those horrors.
You pulled your arm back and threw the rock as far as you could. You couldn’t even see where it landed. The seawater was too rough and wild.
“Why would you throw my garden stone into the ocean?”
You started, turning around sharply to the heavy, baritone voice of your landlord. He was wearing a white sunhat, a beige shirt and pants, clutching a pair of dirty and worn brown gardening gloves. He frowned at you, staring into the ocean.
“What did my rock ever do to you?”
You looked back to the choppy waves and then faced him again, ashamed.
“Well, come. You will have to help with the garden to repay for that. I’m harvesting winter squash.”
-
“You can cook.”
You nodded to Kim Taehyung, the young man who was caring for the sea cottage. He was tasting some of your winter squash and fresh bamboo combination after he asked if you could do something with the two. You had added garlic, ginger, and made a light white sauce as you sautéed it all together.
“I got this bamboo from a friend who lives in the mountains. I can’t cook very well though. Can you?”
You two ate in steady silence, listening to the sounds of nature and waves crashing into shore. He had made rice while you cooked the vegetables.
“The only thing I can make, really,” he had chuckled.
You chewed, listening to Taehyung mix the leftover sauce with the rice and slurp it up.
“The world is quiet here,” you said softly.
He nodded; mouth full. His brown eyes shifted to the overhanging cliff as he swallowed.
“It is.”
-
You tended the garden with him.
You hadn’t even realized all the greenery around the cottage was a giant garden. To you, they were just pretty plants. Taehyung taught you all about the plants, which ones he was growing, which ones the season was already over, which ones he was trying to grow next season. Some were flower bushes he was trying to learn, but you learned that they were finnicky and not as hardy as the vegetables.
“I don’t even like vegetables that much,” he laughed, rich, full, heedless. “But they’re easy to care for, so they make me the happiest.”
He had tried fruits, but the wild animals always got to them despite his best efforts.
“I must share with nature, I suppose.”
Sometimes, you missed the internet. You missed the distractions, the games you played, the ability to like random thoughts on someone’s Twitter. In those times, you would stare at the never-ending blue ocean and then Taehyung would tap you with the rake and tell you that you needed to help him loosen the soil.
“We need all of nature’s nutrients.”
-
You stared out to the blue ocean, wearing a large straw hat and a navy dress. You weren’t at the cliff this time, but farther back. The breeze was softer at this moment. Taehyung had given you the hat a while ago, telling you it was better than the white scarf you wore around your hair. It did provide better sun protection for your face.
The cobalt sea was violent today, sky grey and dark. Taehyung told you it might rain, so the garden could be skipped today.
You held your hat and looked up.
“Me too, sky. Me too,” you murmured quietly.
You wondered when the feeling would disappear. It would probably be gradual, silently vanishing as each day was replaced, memories fading into the vast abyss of thoughts, mixing with fantasy so that you wouldn’t be able to know the difference between what was real and what was fake. That’s why eyewitness accounts were never trustworthy.
That’s how all memories were.
You let go of your hat for only a second. It flew off your head and you spun around, surprised at the strong ocean breeze.
Taehyung caught it with one hand, standing a few meters behind you.
Your lips parted at how easily he was able to catch it. He was wearing a yellow raincoat and brown pants with his usual brown gardening boots. He smiled, walking up to you and putting the straw hat back on your head.
“I warned you that you might lose it if you stand too close to the ocean.”
You hand came up and brushed against his fingers as he retreated his. He looked away quickly, into the stormy blue sea threatened by grey clouds.
“What have you lost to be looking so sad?” Taehyung asked gently.
You followed his gaze.
“Memories.” The water churned, smacking against the cliffside. “A whole book of them.”
“What do you mean?”
You turned back to Taehyung, who was now watching you curiously. You held onto your straw hat, not wanting it to blow away again.
“I left all the photos, so I wouldn’t have to see them again.” You sighed. “Pictures of moments, years etched out visually. I was going to make a memories photo book when we got married.”
You looked back to the ocean, seeing the sky darken ever more.
“And now we won’t.”
There was a loud clap of thunder. Your eyes searched for the lightning.
And then your name, shouted across the grass, harsh and angry like the thunder.
At first, you didn’t hear it. You were distracted by the sky, waiting for the rain. But Taehyung snapped his head around, startled. You noticed his movement and turned around too. A figure in black jumped over the fence, yelling your name on the top of his lungs.
The glass walls came up inside you, trying to protect you from the stumbling, turbulent sea that was Jeon Jungkook.
Taehyung frowned. “Who the fuck is that?”
“Who the fuck are you?” Jungkook spat, glaring at him and his yellow raincoat. He called you again, sharply, stomping over. “Do you have any idea how worried I was? When I came home from the convention and you were just gone? No note, nothing, only to find you running off with some random guy!”
The thunder sounded again, but there was no lightning yet.
“I called everyone! Your work, your friends, your family, your phone! You wouldn’t even answer your fucking phone. I had to find out from your work that you were on vacation,” Jungkook hissed, glaring at you. “Vacation from our relationship that is, fucking cheating on me.”
Taehyung glared back. “Dude, it’s not like that at all. I’m just the landlord of the cottage she rented–”
“Shut up. I’m not talking to you.”
You stared at Jungkook, his dark brows and wild black hair, so angry at you that he was cursing. The irony was not lost on you. You held onto the straw hat.
“Is that all it was?” you said quietly. “You were upset that I would find affection in someone else?”
“Of course, I was! You’re the love of my life!”
You smiled gently. “Is that what you tell them all?” Your navy dress fluttered in the harsh ocean breeze.
Jungkook scowled. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
You looked down to your pink flats, dirty and grass-stained now from running around the cottage garden. Taehyung had teased you, telling you they weren’t good gardening shoes, but you hadn’t brought any other shoes with you. Everything else Jungkook had bought you, with his money.
“Even now, you pretend, Jungkook.” Your hair tangled in the wind, salty and tousled from the sea. You looked back up at him and his expression was changing now. “I remember asking you once, should you comment like that on other people’s Instagram posts?” The thunder was louder now, sky ripping apart with flashing light. “You said, everyone is like that. It’s part of the business.” The color was draining out of Jungkook’s face. “Were the DMs only for show too? What about the WhatsApp messages? The things you wanted to do to them? The ones you wanted to shove your dick into?”
“That’s fucked up,” Taehyung muttered next to you.
“That… That wasn’t…” Jungkook struggled for words. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
You nodded. You felt it first, the fat drop on the hand holding your hat.
“I know you didn’t. Everything was for fun. Everything.”
Smile plastered to your face, because what could you do now?
“Even me. Even I was for fun.”
You inhaled a deep breath. You had cried for many nights when you crawled into that unfamiliar bed upstairs. For hours, long after Taehyung was gone. Drowning in your own endless sea, filling your glass aquarium. Cried yourself out, and now you let the sea cry for you when you watched it every day, while you worked on the garden with Taehyung.
The rain began to fall.
You looked back to Jungkook, torn, guilty, exposed.
“You should come in and wait for the rain to subside before going home. Your viewers will miss you.”
Taehyung pulled his hood over his head. “Do you want me to stay?” he asked you, voice sharp. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
The way he said it implied in more ways than just physical pain. But it was a little late for that.
“I think I will be okay, Taehyung,” you said, water seeping through your hat, rain drenching your dress., turning you into a soaked doll. “Nature has taught me to keep growing.”
He bit his lip, still frowning, but bowed. “Alright.”
And then you watched him go, back to his car, hurrying along. You went in the opposite direction, to the cottage. You had one more week in your hideaway. Rainwater seeped into your flats as you stepped into the grass, soaking your feet. But somehow, it was nice. It was nice to feel the sky cry on you, because then you didn’t have to. You made your way to the covered porch, wringing out your dress the best you could. Took off your hat, opened the door.
Heard heavy black boots in your wake.
“You… left all the pictures.”
The choked, sorrowful voice of Jeon Jungkook behind you.
“I did.”
You stepped inside the cottage. Placed your hat on the hook, dripping wet. Stepped out of your drenched pink flats. Didn’t wait for him. Just went upstairs to the bathroom, trailing rainwater, locking the door behind you. You turned on the water, plugging the drain. Ran a bath and sank into your own hot aquarium.
You heard the heavy fall against the door. Your name, softly spoken through the door.
“I’m sorry.”
You sank further into the water.
“No apology will ever fix what you have done to me.”
The water was cloudy and milky with whatever bath salts Taehyung had provided with the other personal goods.
“I can prove it to you.”
You felt the tears come now, the anger, the sadness. You submerged your head underwater, blocking out all the sound, blocking out your own thoughts. Your hair floated around you, washing out the salt of the blue sea. You waited, waited until your lungs screamed, and still you waited until your vision was fading to grey before you resurfaced, taking a shuddering breath, surprisingly calm.
“The trauma has already spread, Jungkook.”
You heard a slight sob at the tone you used to say his name, cold and unfeeling.
“I really didn’t mean it, I swear.”
You took a deep breath and dove into your man-made aquarium once again.
-
part ii
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masterpost
extended playlist blue & grey by BTS 기억 세탁소 (eraser) by ONEWE 기억 속 한 권의 책 (a book in memory) by ONEWE
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