#except she actually doesn’t like me like that
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for your viewing pleasure┃vol. 1
pornstar!eddie x director!reader
all my pornstar!eddie blurbs together at last b/c I hated how I published them originally. the og posts are still here, but they have been edited/expanded somewhat, and I’ve included a “finale” of sorts that is new! index for this story is here.
cw: pornstar!au, so…porn. but it’s also a kind of fantasy porn company/industry, so not really at all based in reality or fact. sex work, oral sex (f & m rec), public-ish sex, piv sex.
18+, MDNI┃8.7k
special thanks to @urhoneycombwitch for helping come up with like 90% of this via mutual flailing in my inbox 🥰 ilyaaf
After dark thoughts about pornstar!eddie…who gets fired from his first job.
Because he’s great at sex, but bad at porn.
So, so, so bad. Like, he’s incredible at eating pussy, but incredible because he does it with his whole face completely buried in his co-star. We’re talking fully and wholly submerged in her folds, as though she’s his breathing apparatus.
And that’s great for her, but terrible for camera.
They keep stopping him, telling him he has to pull it back, that they have to see her pussy and they can’t with his big head and bigger hair blocking their view. But much like a dog that’s been told to leave a treat where it is, he keeps edging closer and moving back in little by little until he’s right back where he wants to be—and they’re yelling “CUT” and scolding him all over again.
And the girl is getting frustrated because, like, she’s about to actually come and she looks at the director with this look of pure desperation and ‘just do me this solid—please?’ in her eyes.
So he finally lets Eddie get her off and just films super tight on her face and her trembling legs so it’s really obvious how real it really is.
And so they can move the fuck on already.
Then they’re filming the fucking, and once again Eddie is fucking like he would fuck in real life and the way he fucks in real life is Not. Good. Porn.
He’s not just slamming into her without any care; he’s not using her to get off; he’s trying to make it good for her. And it is very, very good for her.
Like so good, she’s this close to giving him her number once they wrap for the day.
Her boyfriend of six years be damned.
And once they wrap, Eddie’s not exactly “fired” but he’s pretty sure he’s not getting called back.
Except then the movie comes out and BLOWS UP. People are obsessed. Women are buying it in droves (who knew women even watched porn??) and the VHS is back-ordered to shit.
So the production company is like, “We gotta lock this kid into a contract. Now.”
And just so we’re clear, he gets that contract.
But he (rightfully) feels like he has a bit of juice behind him and refuses to work with that director ever again. And they agree to his terms, but that first guy is hardly an anomaly and Eddie is still butting heads with these other ass hats who keep trying to force him to do it their way.
“My buddy, my guy, my man, you’re fucking her like she’s a person and that’s not gonna sell. It may have worked for you before, but no way does lightning strike the same dick twice.”
So Eddie walks. And he’s ready to call it quits entirely…until you approach him.
Because you are former talent, trying to branch out and direct, but no one will take you seriously. So you went to the heads of production and told them even if all they gave you was a shoestring budget and one Eddie Munson, you can spin some gold. Spoiler alert—you do.
You come to Eddie with your vision of porn for women: story-based, more realistic dialogue, and real orgasms. Some of the same tropes, but done in a way that doesn’t feel so tired and gross and vapid and soulless. Something new.
Something different. Something special.
And, oh. He is so on board with that.
Meanwhile, back in Hawkins, the rumor mill is milling. Because how in the hell did Eddie “The Freak” Munson become a sex symbol overnight? It has to be a deal with the devil—that’s the only possible explanation, right? He clearly sold his soul for a magic cock and a porn career.
And Steve Harrington is LIVID.
He would have bet his entire college tuition Eddie was a virgin, but now every babe who comes into Family Video is renting that damn tape.
They’re literally pouring in looking for it, marching straight to the back, going behind that red curtain where normally only the creepers go. And they don’t so much as blush when Steve scans it.
Robin teases him about it mercilessly. Tells him maybe if he watches it, he’ll pick up some new moves. And, like, Steve has watched plenty of porn. He can’t imagine Eddie is doing anything that earth-shattering. There’s only so much to it, you know? People must just be caught up in the novelty of it being someone that they kind-of sort-of know. It will wear off, it has to.
Then he watches it.
And, oh…Steve has been doing sex all wrong.
For one, he wasn’t going down on girls. He just wasn’t. He’s not like…against it, or anything. But he sort of didn’t realize that was a thing? He lost his virginity in high-school for fuck’s sake—what did he know besides porn and magazines? And that was all the same, so wasn’t that what girls wanted? (Oh, you sweet summer dingus, Robin would shake her head and lament later.)
Secondly…the girls he was with never sounded like that. And he never realized just how fake all those other “orgasms” in porn sounded until he heard the real deal. Now he can’t un-hear it.
From that day forward, for almost two months, they are short one copy of Eddie’s tape because Steve snuck it home in his bag one night after closing. For research purposes only.
No, seriously.
Eddie is a fucking star. Literally.
The second you and he get together, (in a, ahem, professional sense) something shifts. It feels like a long-laid plan plotted from a distant corner of the vast universe has finally come to fruition.
Your first tape is a smash. The camera you get is barely a step up from a hand-held camcorder, but it doesn’t matter in the slightest. Even with a bare bones crew (you wind up doing a lot of the sound, the lighting, the editing yourself) and everyone doubting you from the jump, it’s a hit.
The concept isn’t anything crazy—Eddie shows up to deliver a pizza, and instead the girl accepts his delivery. But you add a twist: the pizza is for a poker game her boyfriend is hosting. He canceled date night for it and she’s been sitting out here all alone while they play in the other room.
Not on Eddie’s watch.
He goes to town on her, bringing her to the brink three or four times while her boyfriend’s pizzas go cold on the countertop. You push the camera in close on both of them, really trying to give the sense of Eddie as a person. So he’s not just another disembodied guy with a nice dick.
Although his is very, very nice.
His personality shines through when he does things like hike her leg up to fuck into her pussy deeper, chasing her pleasure like her high is his own; and when he grins down at her all devilishly as she tries to stifle her sounds so her “boyfriend” won’t hear; or when Eddie mocks her, making her own little whines and huffs and squeals right back at her in a way that is so infuriatingly hot.
He talks her through it, locking those big brown eyes of his on her, clutching the back of her neck while she tries to block her moans, until at last she can’t hold it back any longer and explodes.
And you have the sound guy stand off to the side and call out, “Everything okay in there, babe?” after she’s done. Nothing but a shuddering, trembling mess on a black leather sofa.
Cut. Print. That’s a wrap, folks.
Eddie is a dream to work with. He’s collaborative and creative; he communicates effectively and often. You guys are like two halves of the same brain, often anticipating what the other wants before they even know it themselves.
It’s alarming, almost. To be seen so clearly.
Even short on crew, equipment, time, money—you can’t seem to fail when you’re together.
The one thing you’re never short on is actresses. Ever since Eddie’s first tape came out, word of mouth (pun intended) has spread. Rapidly. And since you know most of them, you know who to hire. You know which ones are the flakes, which ones are divas, which ones will vibe best with the kind of set experience you’re trying to create. So Eddie trusts your judgment, completely.
He just waits for you to tell him who he’s fucking and then he does it. And he does it so well.
The fucker has chemistry with everyone—down to the guy who brings the sandwiches when you break for lunch. He’s so charming and funny and considerate practically to a fault. He’s fully dialed in from the moment he steps on set to when you wrap for the day. And afterwards, he’s checking in with you, making sure you got exactly what you wanted, asking if you want anything else, if you need him to stay because he’ll be happy to.
It’s…completely and utterly disarming.
He has every right to be a full blown asshole. This entire venture hinges on him and his magic dick, so his head should be as big as a hot air balloon. But he doesn’t ever stray from that unflagging decency that’s so rare in this industry.
And you pray he never will.
It’s Eddie who pitches your next film.
He’s got this notion of a good girl—a cheerleader—who’s having a hard time and goes looking for weed from the mean and scary tattooed dealer.
(One guess who’s playing him.)
Except he’s not so mean and scary. He’s actually kind of a goof, mock-stabbing himself in the heart and flailing around like a clown, throwing himself off the picnic bench you and he dragged out to this clearing at the ass crack of dawn.
All part of the vision, he assured you.
They look great on camera. His dark, wild hair and clothes and everything in direct contrast to her sweet, round face and bright pastel hues and soft waves. Chemistry’s off the charts, as usual. She starts out really nervous and fidgety, but he makes her comfortable and flirts, offers the bud at a discount. And then her brow cocks daringly and she asks if he has anything…stronger.
Cut to her being eaten out like a banquet spread out on this table in the middle of the forest.
It’s oddly lush and romantic with the rich color of the leaves and the dappled sunlight that filters in through the branches—a foil to the lewdness of their acts and their wanton sounds.
And when they’re dressed down to nothing, bare skin on bare skin on gray weathered wood, they look almost like forest nymphs or elves caught up in the throes of passion, secluded in the trees.
Especially with the leaves still clinging to Eddie’s hair from when he fell off the table.
Not for the first time, you feel a certain twinge of something that squirms low in the pit of your stomach while you watch them.
Except you’re not watching them…because you can’t take your eyes off of him.
After you wrap, he hangs back. Asks what you thought of the shoot while he helps break down the equipment. Blushes when you tell him you loved it and how good he looked. Explains how it was inspired by these daydreams he used to have about this one girl he knew in high-school.
And you almost, almost, ask him about her—but you’re cut off by a PA who runs up in a panic.
The studio is calling, and they’re pissed.
They’ve just gotten a look at the contract you had drawn up. Rights to a boutique company under their banner, unlimited use of their distribution channels. Full creative control and intellectual property rights to anything and everything.
Plus exclusive use of Eddie.
(Effectively nullifying that horseshit deal they originally gave him for a much, much better one.)
You know they’re gonna fight you on a lot of it—you swung big so you’d have plenty of room to negotiate—but it will all be worth it when they fold. Because you and Eddie have big plans.
You both know you’re onto something special and you’re in it together, to the end of the line.
Apparently, Eddie is also interested in editing.
He shows up to the production offices on a day he’s supposed to be off, but knows you have the editing bay reserved. Brings you coffee and an egg sandwich like a literal angel on earth.
An angel dressed like the devil, maybe. Because he’s got on this tank top with arm holes that’ve been stretched way, way beyond their natural elasticity, drooping down around his ribs and flashing glimpses of his tattoos and the tops of his obliques. And you aren’t entirely sure why you’re getting all hot and bothered over a tank top when there’s not a single intimate inch of his body you haven’t already seen up close and personal through your viewfinder.
In fact, it’s the same body you’re watching fuck the shit out of that girl on the picnic table from a few days ago. And he’s wearing a whole lot less than a tank top.
You share a brief chuckle over it—the fact that his bare ass is flickering on three screens while you scroll through footage. And it’s not so much that it’s awkward, more like you’re mutually tickled by the fact that it’s not? There’s not an ounce of self-consciousness left between you two.
In a way, it’s like there never was.
He asks if you want any help, or if you mind him sitting in. He’s interested in the process, thinks it might help him on set too. There’s such a rich vein of enthusiasm and curiosity in him, a real thirst to be better and to learn. It’s ridiculous it took him three tries to graduate.
You think it’s a great idea…at first.
But then you’re watching him on the screen with him sitting right next to you. His earthy, woodsy scent layered with the smell of his soap in your nose; his recorded grunts and groans of pleasure in your ears coming through your headphones that are starting to slicken with the sweat.
It’s all wildly distracting. And you must be some kind of masochist, because (not for the first time) you can’t help but wonder how he makes all these women come the way they do.
“So, uh, what…what exactly are you doing here?”
You clear your throat, trying to cover the tremor in your voice as you ask. Eddie scoots in closer, his eyes darting between yours and the screen as he describes the way he’s using his tongue, swirling it around the edges of her entrance, plunging it deep inside her while his nose pushes firmly on her clit. Pretending not to notice your chest heaving with his every word.
“How do you even breathe?” you chuckle.
“I find my moments,” he says.
Smirks back. Winks.
And uh-oh. When did his hand touch your knee? When did he start to rub his thumb over your bare skin through the hole in your jeans? When did his long, ringed fingers start to curl under your thigh to squeeze it? When did he start to lean further into your space? When did you get so wet?
He’s close now. It wouldn’t take anything for you to bridge the gap and let your lips meet his. You can’t, though. You don’t. Because it would be so…stupid. It would be wrong and bad, and it could jeopardize both of your careers. Everything you’re working towards, totally gone.
You’re starting the porn for women movement, here. You can’t fuck your first star!
And you don’t. You keep it professional. You tell him you’re going to call it a day and head home so he’ll do the same. But later that night, when he calls with some new ideas for a script, asking if he can run a few lines by you (just to know how it sounds out loud, you know?), and you wind up having the most insane, mind-blowing phone sex of your entire life…Well, that’s different.
That’s totally and completely different.
The next time you see him, it’s business as usual.
You knew it would be. You two are nothing if not consummate professionals, fully committed to this endeavor. Neither of you would dare let your goals be derailed by a silly little crush.
And it is just a crush. It has to be.
Just the natural result of working so closely with him; of seeing him so completely in his element; appreciating his work ethic and his creativity.
Not to mention the fact that you are consistently watching him have the hottest sex you’ve ever seen in your life. But that’s unrelated.
The next shoot is your biggest yet. It’s at this massive mansion that you’re dressing to look like a spa with two massage tables set up by the pool that looks like something straight out of a resort. Eddie is playing a masseur who offers a lonely, neglected housewife consolation in the form of his cock after her husband chooses work over their couples massage.
After the success of the pizza delivery tape, you think it’s best you lean hard into the “Eddie fucks it better” sort of storylines.
Because why not play to your strengths?
Except that the call time of your female lead has come and gone and she’s nowhere to be found. You know Trina, this isn’t like her, she’s never late. But you called and got no answer. Twice.
The light is perfect, everyone’s in place…but there’s no one for Eddie to fuck.
Even if you could get a replacement, it would take at least an hour for anyone to get out here and that was being generous. By then, the shoot would be way behind and you’ve literally only got today in this stupid model home before some fucking billionaire moves in tomorrow.
It’s gonna be a massive loss of time and money if you don’t think of something. Like, right now.
Eddie can see you’re stressed. He comes over and you huddle by your storyboards. And neither of you has to say it, but you both are thinking the exact same thing. As per usual.
You could do it.
You’re here, for one. And you’ve done this plenty of times. It just makes good business sense.
It’s been a while, and you’re not quite “camera-ready” after not having to be for the past couple of months, but you and Eddie have been talking about using more normal-looking bodies; bodies that jiggled and had hair where it grew naturally and are authentically real, regular bodies.
The camera guys know what sort of shots you want and you’ve got a bigger crew now—people who know your vision and can help bring it forth.
Plus, you’ll be with Eddie. You know he’ll take care of you. He’ll be sure that you get exactly what you need, no matter what. You’d bet your life on it.And, well…you and he did just rehearse your lines the other night.
The shoot is…interesting.
From the outside, it goes great. Perfect, even. Eddie looks all kinds of cute in his white polo and white pants. He’s got his long hair twisted up off his neck, a few loose tendrils framing his face.
And you somehow forgot until he puts his hands on you the first time that the whole concept for this shoot was born out of the fact that he actually went to massage school for real.
Before you even get to the sex stuff, you’re putty in his hands. He moves them up and down your calves, slides his thumbs over your muscles in a dizzying pattern en route to your thighs.
You’re not even faking the deep moans of relief you let out as he moves up higher and higher… arousal promptly pooling between your legs.
He starts going through his lines, striking that perfect balance between his casual, trying-to-be professional voice, while slowly getting more and more desperate and possessive.
As if he’s constantly fighting the urge to take you right then. Right now.
Telling you how awful it is your husband chose work over you like this; how you should always be his number one priority; how Eddie would never let you out of his sight if you were his…
His hands reach your ass and he grips one round globe in each, spreading you apart so he (and the camera) can see how you glisten, the sunlight reflecting like it does off the water in the pool.
You wait for his next line—when he offers you a very ‘special’ massage with a ‘special’ technique he ‘doesn’t use on just anyone.’
But Eddie goes off script.
He licks a fat, wide stripe directly through your folds and your head pops out of the little headrest at the end of the table, the pure shock and delight on your face captured instantly by the camera.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he pleads, his tongue still swirling in between the words muffled by your ass cheeks, like he can’t stand to take it away, even to speak. “I had to taste you…”
“It’s okay,” you moan, voice nearly cracking in a dry sob, “It’s okay, just please don’t stop—”
And he doesn’t. He keeps going until you come, until you’re reaching back behind you to grip his hair as you push your hips back to meet every thrust of his perfect tongue. From there, it’s back to regularly scheduled fucking. He stays on script, peppering in the sort of ad-libs he knows from experience get a good reaction every time—
That’s it sweetheart, you’re doing so well for me.
Your husband doesn’t know what he’s missing.
This pussy is all mine now, you understand?
And, yeah, that stuff gets you off, no problem. But it’s the other stuff he does—the quieter, subtle things you aren’t expecting—that really push you over the edge again and again. And again.
It’s the things he whispers (actually whispers, not stage whispers) low in your ear so you’re the only one who can hear. You feel way too good/I gotta slow down or I’m gonna come/I know you faked that last one, gimme a real one now—
It’s…it’s almost too much. You knew he’d be good, you just didn’t expect how good.
And you definitely didn’t expect to feel the way you do when he checks in between takes: asking if you want more or less of anything, making sure he’s not being too rough, telling you how great you’re doing, apologizing again for that initial snafu. It makes you all…fluttery.
But it’s not until after you wrap for the day, after you’ve gotten in the shower at home and start to wash off the massage oil spread all over your skin, that you realize Eddie never kissed you.
Not once.
When Eddie calls later that week, it’s to ask you out. Not on a date, though.
Which is good. Really, it is. A relief, even. Because contrary to the way your heart leapt into your throat when he asked if you were busy this weekend, you absolutely cannot date him.
It doesn’t matter that you’re attracted to him. Or that you came out of your eyeballs multiple times with him the other day. Or that you haven’t been able to think about anything besides him since.
You. Can’t. Date.
You’re pretty much his boss, don’t forget. Maybe not technically, maybe not on paper—but if you start something up with him, it will be messy and complicated and it could put everything you and he have worked for in jeopardy. More than that, you don’t want anyone thinking he got where he is by any other means besides his hard work (pun intended). He’s earned everything he’s gotten.
And now that includes an award.
That’s what he’s calling about. He’s been nominated for what is essentially the porn equivalent of an Oscar for that first tape he made. And now he has to go to this ceremony, except he’s sort of freaking out because he’s never done anything like this before and he’s really nervous and he kind of needs you there because ‘you’re the only one I’m always comfortable with.’
So he asks if you’ll go with him. As friends.
And you say you will. And it’s fine. You can do this, you can do this, you can do this—FUCK.
Why does he have to be so hot? Showing up in a black Prada suit with a sheer shirt underneath? Almost as bad as wearing nothing under it at all. Worse, maybe.
It’s unbuttoned nearly to the middle of his torso, layered chains dangling low, hanging around that tree trunk of a neck you can’t stop wishing you could sink your teeth into, wrap a hand around—
Nope. Nope. You’re not going there. The only place you’re going tonight is these awards.
Except when you get there, the organizers don’t want you photographed with Eddie. At least not arriving together. People still aren’t familiar with you as a director, and you haven’t starred in a project in months. That’s practically a century in porn time.
Plus, the tape Eddie is nominated for you didn’t even work on. It wouldn’t make any sense.
Eddie is immediately poised to protest, but neither of you is given much of an opportunity. While you’re shuffled into the long line of people already being photographed in front of the venue, he’s being whisked away so he can walk with the girl he starred in that very first film with.
You know her, sort of. You did a group scene once upon a time. She’s a biter.
They even sneak him into her limo so it looks like they came together. He gets out first and then holds out a hand to help her, a storm of flash bulbs going off, making her jumpsuit sparkle.
And you tell yourself not to watch. You try to smile pretty for your own pictures and look like you are having a good time. Or at least not look like you’re chewing on glass. But it’s…difficult.
Especially when you look up at the worst possible time—the exact moment she places a dainty hand on his chest and he turns his face toward hers, their lips meeting for a long kiss.
Long enough for every camera there to capture it.And the very last shot they get of you that night is one of your back as you head inside to get a drink. Or ten. Trying not to think about this sour, putrid, inconvenient feeling in your chest.
Eddie should have walked with you.
He should have done a lot of things, actually.
He should have told those uppity event coordinators to fuck off. He should have ignored that girl from his first film when she whispered under her breath for him to look at her. He should have dodged that sticky, tacky kiss she planted on his lips without any kind of warning.
He should have asked you out for real instead of hiding behind this ‘as friends’ bullshit.
Maybe if he had, he’d be tasting your lipgloss instead of the glittery mess he was wiping off his chin. Maybe it would be your hand in his as you walked the carpet. And maybe it would be him getting you a drink and clinking his glass with yours instead of the guy you’re with right now.
Eddie knows him. Well, he doesn’t know him, he recognizes him from a tape with some absurd name like Sex Kittens 4 that featured a surprising amount of doggy style, considering the title.
Plus you in a never-ending stream of animal-print bikinis.
(He definitely did NOT go looking for every movie you’d ever made. No, that would be ridiculous. He just sort of…happened across one. Or five.)
And it’s not that he’s jealous—because there’s nothing to be jealous of. You met him doing a job. A job very much like the one you did with Eddie. You’re just catching up with an old coworker.
It’s fine. Totally fine. Did he mention it’s fine?
But then Tom Wanks put his hand on your hip, and before Eddie can take even a second to think, or to rationalize his actions, he’s striding up to you and taking your hand to drag you away.
The beaded fringe on your dress swishes noisily as he brings you with him behind a curtain that was set up as a backdrop for more photos. In the shadows behind it, your eyes glint a little meanly and your voice is barbed when you ask what the hell is the matter with him.
And he’s really not sure.
Because much like you, he’s not used to this; he’s not used to not saying exactly what is on his mind at any given time; he’s not used to holding anything back—not when it comes to you.
“I should have stayed with you,” he blurted out at last. “That was messed up, I—”
Your face falls and you dodge his gaze. “It’s fine, Eddie. Don’t worry about it.”
“But I am worried about it,” he shot back. “I could have said something, I could have told them—”
“What for?” you mutter, arms crossing in front of your chest. You look at the floor, hurt. Not just hurt, disappointed. “I mean, what…what would be the point? It’s not like we’re…or that you’re…”
He watches the words stall behind your lips, all of them trying to fight their way out like people on a crowded bus. But in their efforts, they only wind up clogging the exit so nothing gets through.
“God, listen to me!” you laugh bitterly. “I sound like some crazy, jealous…something, and I don’t know why I’m getting this upset when you don’t even like me—”
“Wait, what? Who the fuck said that?”
He can tell you’re shocked by the panic that rises in his voice, staring back at him wide-eyed.
“Wh-when we were filming, you never kissed me. So I thought…”
You fell silent as Eddie’s hands covered the sides of your face. Softly cradling your jaw, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks, he stares straight into your eyes and determinedly holds your gaze.
Your breath stuttered, so lost in those deep brown pools you could hardly recall your own name. And even if you could speak, you weren’t entirely sure what you wanted to say.
Luckily, Eddie gave you something better to do with your mouth.
His lips meet yours in a gentle brush. His hold on your face never tightens, but you can feel the way his fingers flex like he’s resisting the urge to grip you harder. There’s a tenacity in his kiss, as if he’s trying to savor the taste of you, but struggling not to devour you whole.
You break apart too soon for his liking. He easily would have stayed there forever. And he braces himself for whatever might be coming—a slap across his face, a knee straight to his balls.
He might deserve both, but receives neither.
You don’t pull back so much as an inch, happy to let him keep your face close to his. He inhales shakily, still breathing you in, “I didn’t want the first time I did that to be on camera.”
You chuckle at him, dazed and grinning, trying to decide if this is a dream or not. If it is, you don’t ever want to wake up. You want to live in it. Your own hands creep up his stomach, tugging on his silky shirt, feeling the way he shivers in it when he feels the caress of your fingertips.
“What about the second?” you whisper.
And then he’s kissing you again.
Deeper. Hungrier. Messier.
He’s not kissing you like it’s his job; like he’s just doing what was written for him in a script—he’s doing it like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted, desired, chosen to do. Like it’s all he needs.
Your bare back meets the cool wall as he pushes you up against it, sliding his hand inside the slit of your dress, hooking it under your knee to hitch your leg over his hip. He presses every single inch of himself against your seam, harder than he’s ever been in his whole fucking life.
The closest second being when you and he filmed just a few days ago.
You claw at him, pushing his suit jacket off his shoulders, pulling open more buttons on his shirt until the gossamer fabric tears and unravels.
“More,” he begs, kisses trailing down your neck. “Fucking please, sweetheart, I need more—”
Your hand takes on a life of its own, sliding down to cup his length through the luxurious suiting. It causes him to release a deep, desperate moan you can feel his lips spreading apart to let out. The sound of it ripples through your body like an electric shock in every extremity.
The dull roar of the crowd right on the other side of that curtain is only barely enough to cover the sound of you and Eddie’s passions. His touch is so enthralling, so engrossing, you are this close to letting him fuck you right there.
Room full of people be damned.
Eddie seems to have the same idea, his mouth blazing a trail down the middle of your chest and stomach as he drops to one knee, his other foot planted to support himself as he drapes your leg over his shoulder. A rush of excitement floods your body as you realize his intentions, fingers sliding into his unruly curls to grip them at the crown of his head.
But the very second his fingers pull your panties to the side and his tongue finds its home in your folds, a commotion breaks through your bliss.
There’s a loud crash as a cater waiter stumbles into the curtain obscuring your entangled bodies and drags it down with them as they fall.
Light floods the darkened space and a sound of collective amusement ripples through the crowd. No one is exactly surprised to see people hooking up—but it’s usually not until the afterparty.
Cocktail hour isn’t even over, for crying out loud.
Then they realize who it is.
The shutters of opportunistic photographers snap as you give Eddie’s hair a sharp tug. But he just moans loudly—too absorbed in what he’s doing to even realize what’s happened.
Finally, you pull him off your clit and he looks over his shoulder at the rest of the room.
Another round of snaps and flashes go off and his eyes return to yours, brightening when he sees the way you’re covering your mouth, fighting back laughter. His own lips, still shiny with your arousal, spread into a wide grin. His gaze lands on an emergency exit and he jumps to his feet, taking your hand in his and pulling you towards it tucked securely under his arm.
Flipping off the room behind him as you leave.
Together.
The trip back to your apartment is the longest cab ride of your life.
Whereas on the way to the convention center, you’d ridden mashed against your door trying to leave a respectable distance across the middle seat, Eddie practically has you in his lap on the way back. It’s like he thinks he’ll die if he stops touching you for even a second—lips on your neck, his hands roaming hungrily, whispering filth in your ear under the cover of the radio.
You do your best to catch the driver’s eye in the rearview, trying to shoot him an apologetic look or at least mouth a wholly insincere ‘sorry’ for the display. But he seems unphased.
Still, you stuff a wad of extra bills in his hand as you scramble out of his car. Unceremoniously crashing through the front door, you’re lucky not to break it down in your haste to get Eddie inside.
Of your apartment, that is.
Lips locked for every step across your cramped studio, you tumble to the bed and let out a soft grunt when a plastic hanger digs into your back. Hearing you yelp, Eddie pulls back and can see you’re lying on top of the ten or so discarded outfits you went through trying to decide on what to wear tonight. Sequins rustle under your bodies as the bed shakes with your gentle laughter, and Eddie drops a kiss to the tip of your nose before he climbs off you. Reluctantly.
He watches while you gather the dresses strewn across the bed, smiling when you try and stuff them back in your closet, fumbling with only the amber street light filtering through your blinds to see by. When you finally turn back to face him, he’s still smiling. Head tilted at you, eyes slowly raking over your form, heart rate picking up in his chest when yours do the same to him.
The pause is nice. It gives you both a minute to catch your breaths, for your brains to catch up with your bodies. Your steps turn careful and slow as you move towards him. With trembling fingers, he pulls open the last remaining buttons of his sheer shirt and lets it fall to his feet.
Remembering only just now that his jacket is still on the floor of that hotel ballroom.
You come to a stop in front of him and he closes the distance left. He reaches around you and pulls down the zipper of your dress, fingertips dragging lightly along your spine as he reveals it.
It’s the closest you’ve ever come to feeling like a gift someone is unwrapping.
With your dress pooled around your ankles, Eddie’s hands are free to wander. He runs them up and down your arms, sweeping them along the inside of your wrists to twine your fingers with his. He brings them to his lips to kiss and the sight of plush pink brushing your knuckles is bordering on being too much to handle—more erotic than anything you’ve ever filmed.
He’s going slow because it’s slowly dawning on him what you’re about to do.
And how this time it’s not going to be for work or for a camera. It’s going to be real.
Except…is it going to be real?
Should he do something different than what he did when you filmed? How can he, when he used all his best moves during the shoot? Shit…
He doesn’t want you thinking he’s just doing with you the same thing he does with everyone else; that this—that you—aren’t special to him.
Then suddenly, he’s not going slow anymore.
He’s stopped completely.
“You okay?” you whisper.
“Y-yeah,” he chokes out, like the word is made of sawdust. “I just, ahhh…I don’t know, I think I’m psyching myself out? Thinking too hard.”
“Thinking about what?” you whisper, your teeth tugging back your bottom lip.
His head just shakes, eyes still scanning your face while his thumb lightly strokes your jaw, until he lets out a sigh that’s heavy with fondness and whispers, “How I don’t want to mess this up.”
He takes another deep breath, letting his forehead rest against your own as his chest shudders. Confounded as to how something he’s done in front of a whole-ass camera crew could make him feel so self-conscious when it’s just you here with him. A few seconds of silence pass until his lips part in a smirk and his gaze cuts to the side, right to where a camera would be.
“Is it just me…or does it feel like something is missing?”
It takes a few minutes of digging to find your old camcorder buried in the depths of your closet.
Eddie chuckles when you emerge, brandishing it with a flourish and a little ta-da! before you set it on top of your dresser pointed at the bed, angling it slightly to properly frame the shot.
The red light blinks as you hit ‘record,’ barely taking a second to check if there’s a tape inside. You let it run, capturing your figures half in shadows as he sits on the bed and pulls you into his lap. He helps you settle on his thighs, runs his hands up the backs of yours, slips his long fingers under the elastic band of your panties to rest on your hip. He pulls them back and snaps them softly on your skin, earning a hum of approval from behind your pressed lips.
You wriggle on top of him and delight in how it makes his chest reverberate with a low groan.
“That better?” you whisper, the answer to your question immediately stiffening underneath you. He nods fervently, his voice tight and strained as he struggles to keep his cool.
“Wanna taste you,” he grunts out roughly.
He moves his hands to grip your waist so he can flip you underneath him, but your hands find his shoulders and stop him before he can.
Big, doleful eyes look up at yours, his face etched with concern as you shake your head. His bottom lip wobbles as he searches your face for why.
In a reassuring press, you mash your lips to his and lace your fingers behind his neck. You kiss all the air out of his lungs, until his fingertips are digging into your flesh hard enough to leave ten tiny bruises. You kiss him like you’re trying to take the weight of the world off his shoulders, like you’re going to accept his every burden as your own so he doesn’t have to carry them alone.
There’s a quiet pop as your mouths separate and you press your chest flush with his, wrapping your arms around his neck so your lips find his ear as your nose nudges through his curls.
“Tell me you want me,” you whisper. “Tell me how much you want this.”
“I don’t want it,” he groans back, “I need it. I’ve needed it since I fucking met you.”
The heat in his voice, the rumble of it in your ear, causes a wave of arousal to rush through your body. You unwind your arms from around his neck and slip slowly, painfully slowly, from his lap to stand between his legs. You place a finger under his chin and tip his face up for him to look at you, your thumb settling in the tiny dip at its center. Too small to see, it could only be felt.
“Everyone always uses you,” you tell him softly, almost mournfully.
His eyes stay wide and hopeful, never leaving yours as you sink down to your knees. His long, dark lashes flutter as your hands run up his muscled thighs, the edges of your thumbs grazing the outline of his cock. He hisses through his teeth and you grin devilishly at the sound.
“I want you to use me,” you instruct him. “Take whatever you need, as much as you want.”
And you can literally see how your words affect him, his eyes bugging wide as the wheels in his head are turning behind them. He reaches out to touch your face and you turn it to kiss his palm.
“Sweetheart, I—oh, fuck,” he gasps, cut off with your sudden squeeze of his clothed cock.
“I’ll stop you if I need a break,” you reply firmly.
The muscles in his neck pull taught as he nods. He leans back on one elbow, reluctant to let his other hand leave your face. You kiss his bare stomach along the top of his waistband and he curls his hand around the back of your head, gripping it tighter when you tug down his fly.
And you knew Eddie’s dick well by now. You knew it inside of you as well as out. But there was nothing that could have prepared you for the sight of it tonight. Thick, and veiny, and weeping with pre that dribbles down its sides. He’s almost ashamed of it, almost embarrassed by how hard he is for you; by how close he is to blowing his load when you’ve not even gotten started.
It was practically a miracle he didn’t soil the inside of his suit when you pulled his hair earlier.
His pupils are blown out when your eyes meet his, your lips hovering so close to his cock he can feel your breath on it. Saliva pools under your tongue so rapidly, you almost feel like you’re at risk of it spilling out of your mouth and running down your chin when you speak.
“Fuck my throat, Eddie. Please.”
And he does. He lets you set the pace at first, still holding fast on the back of your head he watches your lips surround his tip. His chest heaves with deep, gasping breaths as you take him fully into your mouth and start to bob on his perfect cock. It’s almost too much, too perfect, the feeling of your warm, wet mouth and your soft tongue and, fuck, your hand—
He pants wildly as you cradle his sack, your fingertips stroking them and spreading the spit from your mouth that’s dribbling down his shaft to his balls. They tense in your palm and his stomach tightens the faster your mouth moves, the more your throat relaxes to take him in deep.
The man who gives the best head imaginable finally having the favor returned.
“Jesus Christ…”
Eddie's words are whispered like a prayer and you look up to take in the sight of him.
Eyes pinched shut, his brows drawn like he’s in pain even though the sounds he’s releasing are nothing short of euphoric. You tease all the most sensitive nooks and crannies of his cock, all the places that make his eyes roll back and his head loll on his shoulders and his chest heave. Every ridge, every vein, every muscle that twitches under the attention of your tongue.
“Oh, pl…p-please,” he gasps, tightening his hold on your hair to still your movements as his hips start to move in an instinctive and primal thrust.
He hits the back of your throat and you swallow more of him down, taking him deeper, deeper until your nose brushes the wiry hair at his base.
You groan around his length, enthralled by the exquisite ache of him hitting your soft palate, and the sound is Eddie’s undoing. He lets out a long, low moan and spills hot and thick down your throat. His arm trembles as he fights his own iron grip on the back of your head, forbidding himself from pulling your hair. You can feel the tremors of his fingers against your scalp.
His abdomen spasms as you stroke him through the aftershocks, flirting with overstimulation. Fucked-out eyes, heavy-lidded and sleepy, but nothing short of reverent, find yours and they’re wet—shiny, shimmering with tears that crowd their rims and threaten to spill down his cheeks.
Quick as you can, you’re on your feet cradling his jaw to ask if he’s okay. And Eddie can’t answer, can only nod as he kisses, kisses, kisses your palm, the heel of your hand, your wrist, down the inside of your arm all the way to your elbow.
He can’t kiss you enough, it seems.
You giggle softly as you sit beside him and reach out to ruffle his bangs, tucking some of his hair behind his ear and letting your touch linger on his neck. With the pad of your thumb, you brush a tear that has leaked out of the corner of his eye. He looks back at you with a smile and swipes the pad of his thumb along the corner of your mouth to wipe away a drop of his spend.
And you know there’s still a lot left to figure out—damage control that will have to be done, difficult conversations that will have to be had. There will be whispers and rumors and sidelong glances.
Not to mention the firestorm those pictures of you two at the ceremony will undoubtedly stir up.
But none of that matters right now. Nothing does, beyond this bed and this night. Nothing else even exists outside the confines of this room.
All that matters is you and him.
You lay there for a while, just…being. Your fingers tracing his tattoos and the soft planes of his chest and stomach; his, the slope of your shoulders and the lines of your body he’s always wanted to know better. Quiet words pass back and forth, teasing jokes and soft confessions. Admissions of fears that held you both back and don’t seem so daunting anymore. Don’t seem so scary.
When he’s hard again, you pick up the camera and point it at him as you guide him to lay on his back. You push in close on his face when you sink down fully onto his length and start to ride him at an egregiously slow pace just so your shot holds steady. And because he looks so pretty taking it.
“Something wrong, Ed?” you goad him a smidge, toying with him in more ways than one when your pussy squeezes so tight around his cock it makes him lose his breath and pant out of control.
“F-fu…fuuuuuck meeee…” he whines and writhes, throwing his head back into the mattress.
“Oh,” you chuckle at him, speeding up just a hair, “I’m sorry, is that not what I was doing?”
His head jerks up, eyes ablaze as he stares you down through the camera lens. You peer at him over the top of the viewfinder and shiver despite the thin layer of sweat building on your skin.
Okay, yeah, that might have been a little too far. Or just far enough, you think, almost giddy.
“Nah,” he growls, the corner of his mouth curling up in a smirk. “Sorry is what you’re gonna be.”
A loud squeal bursts out of you as he rolls your bodies to the side and pins you underneath him, somehow managing to keep himself seated inside you the whole time. Breathless, you watch as he takes the camera from you and practically tosses it away so he can hold your arms over your head. For a while, all it captures is a blurry close-up of your duvet cover, the frame shaking in time with every deep, solid thrust of Eddie’s hips that rattles the entire bed and you in it when he gets going.
Your moans and his grunts mix in a symphony that will surely earn you some side-eyeing from your neighbors tomorrow, but you can’t bring yourself to give a single ounce of a shit.
The song that you make together swells to a crescendo as you topple over the precipice you’ve been dangling off the edge of practically from the moment you met him. Eddie fumbles like mad for the camera and picks it up, recording your blissful expression before he swoops in to press his lips back to yours. Kissing you like he’s trying to eat you, like he’s trying to fuse your faces.
You’re certainly not complaining.
And now that he’s the one with the camera, he’s eager to keep going. He pans it up and down your whole body, guiding you into every filthy position he’s been imagining all those long nights alone in his bed. Through his eyes behind the lens, there’s not a single angle on you that isn’t pristine.
He gets you up on all fours, films tight on your ass as he squeezes it and cracks his palm down on it when he lets go. The sting makes you keen, your back arching as your hips thrust back—seeking more, more. His hand then smooths over your buzzing flesh, soothes the ache he’s made.
And even as you’re making it, you can tell this is not just another sex tape.
It’s a love tape.
thank you for reading — love you, mean it! 🏝️
#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things eddie#eddie stranger things#eddie munson smut#stranger things
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1. There are about 50! It’s been more stable recently, but it has been rising over time.
2. She/they! We’re almost all girls, or at the very least are comfortable with those pronouns.
3. We are the Splat-stem! We chose this name as we Splatoon introject heavy system, and the portmanteau of Splatoon and system just sounded good to us.
4. Well, there’s Splatoon ofc, most of us really like public transport, and drawing is fast becoming one of our big things too.
5. Aside from source stuff, a lot of 80s, but our favourite artist has to be Depeche Mode! One of our alters is somewhat related to them even.
6. Most of us are around 19/20.
7. It’s just a human girl called Lily, she basically has ended up being a bit of a mix of what the main fronters are like, she has blue hair and shit, and is basically your average transfem.
8. A lot of us do! Woomy (myself) and Eight are both hosts, Eight is somewhat of a protector too, as are Naos and Four. Frye and 003 are persecutors of sorts.
9. We’ve known since September 2022, after I turned up! It was very randomly the day the queen got buried which is still something we joke about with friends pfft.
10. Honestly there were signs we kept ignoring, but when the rest of us thought we were just 1 cis guy, it became obvious that wasn’t the case when suddenly a squid girl turned up (me!). It helped that we knew a lot of systems by then, so we understood it a bit better, over time more of us adopted their own identities.
11. Honestly it’s hard to say, we don’t really notice when it happens usually, mostly we can tell after the fact that we must have switched for whatever reason. Occasionally the switch hits harder and dissociates us more heavily.
12. Either, really, sometimes we try and switch to whoever might want to front at that time, other times people just get pulled to front by a trigger, and others it just, happens.
13. Our favourite part is that there’s always others there for you, and it just makes us feel very comfortable knowing we’re never alone!
14. Mostly the dissociation when it hits us, and the fact memory can often be absolute shit.
15. Most of us quite a bit! Most of us are inklings or octolings, so we don’t have ‘hair’ in the same way humans do, a few of our features like eyes and ears look different too, and of course you can become a squid/octopus to swim in ink.
16. *Cracks knuckles* oh, just 90% of the system in some way or another gdjfjfjfnfbf. I’ll spare everyone reading the entire lore of Splatoon, but I’ll say that I’m basically the original Agent 3, and Eight is, well, Agent 8.
17. Eh? It’s fairly abstract, but yes kinda? It’s not as vivid as other systems say theirs are, but there’s definitely an inner world.
18. Yep! Frye is the number 1 food enjoyer ever, and he is often a bit particular about it. She feels very strongly and the things she doesn’t like (which, there aren’t many of) they won’t touch, but anything they like is automatically consumed pffft. The rest of us really don’t care as much. Likewise, Naos and Eight really relish in the cold.
19. Yeah! Me and Eight are probably the best examples of the most basic accents in the system, generally sounding fairly basic and Southern English, although I sound a little more South Western. Frye sounds more like they’re from London, whilst Marina oddly has a bit of a French twinge, then Pearl sometimes sounds a bit American. Fyra is randomly a bit Northern English too which keeps taking everyone by surprise. Naos is a bit more flat and robotic.
20. Full of cephalopods.
21. Yes, almost all of us! Most of us are some form of m-spec, although there’s a few exceptions (Four is aroace, Marina is lesbian, and Hydra is actually straight). A few of us are trans girls insys too (like myself), whilst others are cis. Meanwhile Frye is the resident bigender person. Also most of us are polyam.
22. A few yeah! Although a couple know so as a result of online friendships (we met another system at our uni because we knew one of their friends online beforehand).
23. There’s almost always one of the more chaotic alters sat around just waiting to make the silliest possible comments. For example, in the middle of a recent exam, Frye just went ‘SOCIETY HAS LOST CARDIFF’ for no reason at all and we nearly lost it jfjfjjdjvjvd.
24. You don’t need to fit anyone’s expectations of what a system is! Don’t feel invalid just because you aren’t exactly like another system. Also, be a bit kinder to other headmates in your system, they’re just getting used to this, and in time things will be much calmer.
25. Introjects aren’t just silly little characters you can play with like you’re in a game. A couple singlets have been really weird with us, and thinking we’re like some NPCs they can mess around with for funsies. We’re literally just people that happen to hold identities from Splatoon.
Plural Ask Game
We figured we’d try making an ask game! This is for anyone who’s a system–regardless of origin–to use. Remember that you’re not obligated to answer any of these if any are too personal!
How many members are in your system, and does this number change frequently?
What are your collective pronouns, if you have any?
What’s your system name if you have one, and how did you choose it?
Are there any activities your system members like to do together? Collective hobbies? Talk about those!
What sort of music do people in your system like?
What’s the average age of your systemmates?
If you have a singletsona, what is it? Explain a bit about them!
Does anyone in your system have roles? If so, what roles?
How long have you been a system and/or known of your system?
How did you discover your system? What was the process?
What does switching feel like to you, if you switch at all?
Are your switches voluntary, involuntary or a mix? How often do you do it, if at all?
What’s your favourite part of being a system?
What’s your least favourite part of being a system, if you’re comfortable sharing?
Are your headmates generally different from the physical body? How do they differ from it?
Do you have any fictives/factives/etc? Tell us a little about them!
Does your system have a headspace? Are there multiple of them? What are they like?
Are there differences between systemmates surrounding sensory things? (For example, one person likes the taste of one food and another doesn’t.)
Does anyone have any different accents, or speak any different languages?
How would you describe your system in 3 words or less?
Do you have any LGBT+ headmates? What do they identify as?
Does anyone outside of the internet know you’re a system?
Do you have any cool/funny stories from inside the headspace that you’d like to share?
What’s some advice you’d give to yourself when you were first discovering your system?
What is something you wish singlets knew about plurality?
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Knight Commander Stephan Harrington, Champion of Light, right hand to the newly crowned (and very young) Queen Elaine, was tied up on the floor.
Unfortunately, so was Eddie.
Which wasn’t intentional--it certainly had not been the plan (not that kidnapping two royal knights had been the plan either)--but it was the outcome that had happened and so, Eddie had to deal.
Now if only he could get the damn bespelled ropes from entangling him…
“You are incredibly bad at this.” The knight informed him in an amused tone. “Like, insanely bad. You should be ashamed levels of bad.”
…which would be a lot easier if he wasn’t being heckled.
“I am not!” Eddie defended, as he finally managed to free himself, throwing the offending, wiggling ropes across the room. Never again would he buy from the cheap spell stall in the market.
“This is a clear and obvious ploy to get you to feel like I am in over my head and you--both of you!--are falling for it!”
He leapt to his feet, spinning around and staring down at his captives with a look he hoped was threatening.
(It wasn’t.)
“We've been kidnapped a handful of times, you know.” Knight First Class Robin Buckley spoke up from her position tied next to her commander. “People tend to put way more thought into it than this.”
She’d adjusted her position sometime between her initial capture (a spell he'd purchased that Eddie had intended to hit the royal carriage and not the knights escorting it) to sit cross legged, hands bound behind her back.
“At least one thought, anyway. You gotta admit this feels pretty desperate.” Stephan piled on. He’d been more entertained than pissed ever since Eddie had taken himself down with his own tools, and the wisecracks were getting worse.
“Thank you, Sir Stephan--”
“You can just call me Steve, man.”
“—but some of us are on a tight deadline here. And for your information,” He brought himself to his full height, trying to loom over them menacingly, “nobody goes around kidnapping royalty unless they’re absolutely desperate.”
Not that he’d succeeded in the “royalty” department, but he’d gotten close enough.
“Oh that reeks of a tragic backstory.” Robin said, like she was seated at a dinner party and not on the floor. “Did you get cursed?”
“He looks like the type of guy to get cursed.” Steve agreed, head tilting like a faithful dogs as he examined his captor.
Frustration overwhelmed him in a wave and Eddie went to angrily yank on his hair before catching himself in the act. As good as it would feel in the moment, it would not help him convince the idiots before him that this was serious, dammit!
The result was that he flung his hands around wildly for a moment, before storming off across the room of the little abandoned cabin he’d found, face burning a brilliant, obvious red.
“I didn’t get cursed, I got accused of--oh. Oh, no, I will not be caught monologuing, fuck you!”
He whirled on his heels, pointing a finger at their stupid faces. “Why I did it doesn’t even matter!”
(Or rather, it did matter—a lot, actually—but not right now. Not to them.
Stupid fucking royal employees and their stupid fucking charmed lives.)
He wasn’t shrieking, he wasn’t--except he was, and both knights traded a look behind his back as he paced wildly about. “I caught you, and I am going to use you to get what I want!”
“Right, sure.” Steve said, nonplussed. “Say, did you maybe touch a weird looking, possibly magical item by chance? Or gave your name to a weirdly attractive looking lady who seems to love yapping about royal court band practices and who definitely wasn't one of the Fae?”
He cast a sly look at his companion with that last line, and was rewarded when her mouth popped open in instant offense.
“You swore you’d stop bringing that up!” Robin said, snapping a leg out in a kick, nailing her companion in the thigh with one thick boot.
“I swore I’d stop bringing up the incident with Nancy.” Steve fired back, taking her kicks with ease. “And all those archery lessons you swore you needed, because you apparently hit your head in battle and forgot how a bow worked--”
“Shut up, Dingus!” Robin growled, in tandem with Eddie’s mounting panic.
This was not, at all, going how this was supposed to. Not that anything had as it was supposed to, since shit went sideways, but the knights were at least could have the decency to be somewhat afraid of him!
Or angry.
Eddie could work with angry!
This two bit comedy routine he was being subjected to instead of any rational reaction was just the icing on top of the weird cake of his life and he was this close to having a full blown mental breakdown about it.
Which, of course, was exactly when they had to go and make things worse.
Robin stopped kicking her commander and turned back to Eddie, eyes narrowing with the sharpness of someone who had just put something big together. “Hey, hold on—aren’t you that bard half the kingdom won’t shut up about? Eddie the Balladeer?”
Because naturally, the first time anyone recognized him since his life went to hell, it had to be the people he’d just kidnapped.
(He should have listened to his uncle and become a woodworker.)
“I was.” Eddie grumped. “More like fuckin’ Eddie the Banished now. But again,” He stressed the word with a harsh flick of both hands, “that doesn’t matter.”
“Why not?” Steve pressed him. “Pretty sure Dustin is planning on you playing at his birthday party. He’s obsessed with that weird song you do. The one with the bed spring noises.”
Eddie did not know who Dustin was, but after the chaos of the past two weeks, it was only a matter of time before word of his so-called crimes reached the capitol and shredded whatever remained of his reputation.
“Considering I’ve been accused of murder and my entire damn hometown thinks I’m leading satanic rituals, I seriously doubt that,” he sneered, aiming for something haughty and menacing—anything that would make them start taking this whole thing seriously.
Steve and Robin exchanged another look, the kind only two people sharing a single brain cell could, the unspoken agreement loud and clear on their faces: ‘Do Not Laugh Right Now.
Which was, frankly, insulting, given the sheer level of trauma that came with being branded a murderer.
“Who accused you of satanic worship?” Steve managed to ask, clearly struggling to keep his words giggle free. “You look like one of those wobbly baby deer. You know, with the big, cute eyes.”
Eddie glowered at him. “Are you deaf? I just said it was the entire town!”
(He determinedly ignored the fact that Steve had just compared him to a damn woodland creature—and called him cute, on top of it.)
“Is this one of those things wrong place wrong time things?” Robin tacked on, like this was a fun puzzle and not Eddie’s life spiraling wildly out of control. “Like, ‘there’s a dead body on the floor and I’m holding a knife but I swear I just walked in here right before the constable did’ type of situations?”
“I bet the person he apparently murdered isn’t even dead.” Steve fake-whispered to Robin conspiratorially, eyes never leaving Eddie’s. They were crinkled at the edges in a smile, like this entire thing was getting better by the second. “Money says he helped a fair maiden get out of an awful marriage and the shitty fiancé accused him of killing her.”
Which is exactly what happened, the fucking dick.
Jaw swimming with his attempts to get out too many words at once, Eddie sputtered. “Of course she isn’t dea--I mean, I, no!”
“Ha! Steve you totally nailed it.” Robin said, leaning back in triumph. “Which means Dongus here was trying to kidnap one of the Princes to get someone to listen to you. God that’s so cliche.”
“It’s not like I asked for it to happen!” Eddie shrilled, tone hitting notes he hadn’t been aware his throat could make.
“Man, I'm good.” Steve said, ignoring Eddie entirely. "I should've been a detective."
“Please, you’re much better at looking intimidating than actually being intimidating. Why do you think Hopper made you Champion, Mr. Model?”
Eddie’s hands were in his hair again, and this time, he gave up all pretenses of looking cool and evil and let himself tear at it.
“Why I’m doing this doesn’t matter because it’s not like you two can fucking help me!”
That, at least, cut through the good cheer, succeeding in finally getting both knights to shut up.
“I’m dead if I don’t fix this, but worse is if they go on and target Wayne, or Gareth or the rest of the band, or--” He wasn’t exactly hyperventilating, but he was breathing awfully fast. “I can’t let that fucknut Carver go on a whole rampage and hurt everyone who ever associated with me!”
Wayne was fairly talented at talking the village down, but that had always been when Eddie had been accused of selling fake potions or replacing the town flag with Jason’s undergarments.
He was not going to be able to fight off an angry mob, should they decide to make the trek to him.
“Hey.” Steve said, his voice losing all the humor it had before. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay!”
“We can help make it okay.” Robin said gently and it become abruptly clear that his kidnapping victims were now trying to comfort him, because life just had to kick him while he was down. “We’re Knights of the Kingdom, after all.”
“Oh and I suppose I’m just supposed to untie you and you’ll--what?” Eddie glared at them, hands pulling hard at his hair. “Just let the whole kidnapping thing go? Help me out of the goodness of your hearts instead of arresting me and throwing me in the stockades?”
Steve shrugged. “I mean, yeah.”
“I don’t believe you.” Eddie said flatly.
“Does it help if we tell you this isn’t a contender for the top ten weirdest situations we’ve been in?” Robin asked. “Like, it’s not even close.”
“No. No it does not.”
“Okay.” Steve said, in a ‘thinking aloud’ sort of voice. “How about this? We give you our words as knights that we’ll help clear your name, and you can stick with us so no one else tries anything until we do.”
Like Eddie was dumb enough to fall for that bullshit.
“And why would you do that? What's in it for you to help clear my name?” He challenged them. “We both know the second I untie either of you, you’re going to overwhelm me and take me in. I’m not taking that chance.”
Not with Wayne on the line.
“Has anyone ever told you you have trust issues?” Steve asked, pushing Eddie right over the edge.
“I was convicted!” He dropped his hands in a crazed movement, only to smack the back of one against the other's palm in time with his shrieking. “Of! Murder!”
He must have hit another shrill note, because Steve and Robin both winced.
“Easy.” Steve soothed. “You know who I am, right?”
Eddie snorted. Sir Stephan’s face was plastered across a shitload of banners all over the kingdom. You couldn’t go anywhere without knowing who the Queen’s Champion was, and Robin was nearly just as famous.
“Yes.” He grit out.
“Then you know that while I myself don’t have any kind of magic or power, I am tied directly into the Kingdom’s power.”
In an impressive display of athleticism, Steve maneuvered himself up into a proper kneel, hands still tied behind his back with softly glowing ropes.
He looked up at Eddie through thick lashes, expression earnest. “If you want, I will tap into it to make you an unbreakable oath. That way I can’t betray you.”
Stunned into stillness, Eddie stared at him, before his eyes swept to his companion, trying to check if this was some kind of trick or trap or--something else he was too stupid to catch.
Instead of an answer, Robin looked just as shocked as Eddie, her jaw dropping.
“Dingus, you can’t be serious,” She protested, while Eddie finally found his voice to choke out;
“Why would you do that?”
“Because we’re the good guys,” Steve replied, with a smile so bright it could probably power the sun. “and the good guys help people.”
That was said a little oddly--like he was quoting someone who’d said it many, many times before.
Eddie opened his mouth, struggling to form the words.
“How,” he started, his voice cracking on the word. He paused, biting his lip before finally gathering the strength to ask, “How do you know I’m not just lying to you?”
“You?” Steve echoed, the word practically a challenge, but he was still looking up at Eddie through those damn eyelashes, his expression calm, like they'd known each other for a hundred years and would know each other for a hundred more. “No way.”
They stared at each other for a long, drawn out moment. Eddie didn’t know what Robin was doing, didn’t have room in his brain to even recall her presence in the room. It felt like he and Steve were connected, his entire life was teetering and this moment would decide the outcome.
Steve had been right. Eddie did have trust issues. Big ones, and this entire situation had only made them worse, but somehow, in that moment, he felt like he could do the impossible.
He could trust Steve.
“Okay.” He said quietly, all his bluster and wild hand movements gone.
Steve beamed at him.
“Kneel down in front of me.” The knight instructed, and as if drawn by an invisible thread, Eddie did so, dropping down so his face was level with Steve’s.
“Come closer.” Steve ordered, and waited as Eddie shuffled, closer and closer, until they were barely a breaths width apart, so close he could see the streaks of gold in Steve’s warm, brown eyes.
“I,” Steve started, in a voice that was both powerful and intimate, “Sir Stephan, Knight Commander of the Kingdom of Light, Queen’s Champion and head of House Harrington, call upon the bonds that make me and that I have made in turn, to hereby swear to you,”
He paused, waiting, and it took Eddie a moment to realize he had never given the man his name.
“Edward Munson, of Town Hawkins.” He muttered, bespelled entirely by the warmth in Steve's eyes.
“Edward Munson, Bard of Town Hawkins,” Steve said, and oh, what the addition of the word ‘bard.’ did to Eddie’s stomach. The flips it made when he realized just how well Steve was continuing to read him, better than anyone else in his life ever had.
(It made him feel insane.)
“that I will aid in clearing your name, restoring your reputation, and ensuring your safe return to the life you were meant to live.”
Something built up between them, humming with the buzz of magic. The weight felt tangible, the threads growing thick tying Eddie and Steve together.
“By the powers that be.” Steve whispered, leaning ever so slightly forward, eyelashes lowering.
Eddie repeated the last line back to Steve, guided by the nudging insistence of the magic that circled them.
For a second the oath become visible, strings of bright yellow magic surging about, and Eddie was almost drawn to look at it, had he not been distracted by Steve closing the distance between them.
“Wha--” Eddie started to ask, only for Steve to draw the word into his own mouth, sealing their oath with a kiss.
In the songs Eddie sung, the world exploded when one experienced true love's kiss. Birds sang, and people cheered, fireworks rose to explode in the air.
This kiss was nothing like that.
This kiss felt like coming home.
Steve ended it as chastly as he started it, pulling back to smile at him. “And there you have it. One sworn Knight Commander, duty bound to clear your good name.”
“Uh huh.” Eddie said, blinking rapidly, trying to come back into himself, trying not to look as dazed as he felt. “Right. My uh, name.”
Steve beamed at him. Tentatively, Eddie smiled back, and if a moment could be warm then this one was the warmest thing Eddie had ever experienced, like a gentle blanket being draped across them both.
It was ruined entirely by the forced coughing that started up next to them.
“If you two are done now, my arms are going numb.” Robin announced, making Eddie jerk back and Steve roll his eyes.
“Sorry.” Eddie said automatically, face going red for the third time that day. “I’ll uh. I’ll do that now.”
In his mad scramble to get to his feet and hide how aroused he was, Eddie missed the smug look Steve gave Robin.
In his attempts at removing the spelled ropes from her wrists, he equally missed the sarcastically mouthed ‘Slut.’ Robin aimed back at him.
He did, however, somehow understand that Robin came with Steve, and that he had just damned himself to their bantering.
Weirdly, it made him feel better instead of worse.
xXx
“So out of curiosity, what name did you give yourself?” Steve asked a handful of hours later, as the three of them began their trek to Castle Hoosier.
Eddie frowned at him. “Name?”
“You know.” Steve nudged his shoulder against Eddie’s playfully, like they were buddies. “Your evil wizard name, or whatever.”
“I never said I was a wizard, Steve.”
“You cannot tell me someone as dramatic as yourself didn’t immediately decide to change your name to something ridiculous.” The knight challenged, and Eddie hated how easily the guy had clocked him. “I bet it has evil in the title. Or Mean. Or--”
“It was Dread Lord Munson.” Robin interrupted.
With a grin so wide it overtook her entire face, she turned a little leatherbound notebook to face Steve. There, in Eddie’s spidery scrawl, was the offending name taking up half the page.
“Where did you get that!?” Eddie squawked, lunging for the book. Robin, in a show of skill he wouldn’t have thought her capable of, tossed it right over his head, into the waiting hands of Steve.
Eddie spun, cursing wildly as Steve took a look at his personal (!) writings.
(He hadn't even seen her grab it, dammit!)
He ducked out of the way once, then twice, laughing the entire time, before closing the book with a snap and holding it out to Eddie.
“Come on, Dork Lord, let’s go get your name cleared.” He said, a fond grin on his face.
“I hate you. Both of you.” Eddie whined, a blush dusting his cheeks as he snatched his book back, but followed Steve anyway.
He had the worst feeling he was going to be doing that for a while, now. Even if his name got cleared.
Fucking knights.
Bonus:
“We both know that binding ritual does not involve a kiss, Steve.” Robin said, some time later, quiet enough for only her friend to hear.
“Ah, shut up Robs. Let me have my fun.” Steve said. “Besides, it sets the tone. Now that he knows what kissing me is like, it's all he’s gonna be thinking about.”
“Pretty sure all he’s thinking about is clearing his name, Dingus.”
“Okay, yeah.” Steve stressed the word, “but after we clear it? That little scatterbrained bard is gonna be fully focused on me.” He flicked a finger at his own chest, and gave what he thought was his best winning smile.
Robin made gagging noises.
In retaliation. Steve tried to push her off her horse.
#Eddie does in fact know Dustin#its just that Dustin#and the party at large#also gave themselves dramatic nicknames#steddie#they kiss in this one#stobin#0o0 fanfics#eddie munson#steve harrington#robin buckley#I've been reading a lot of comedy fantasies#so this is a very 'dreadful' slash Tom Holt slash Not Very Serious Fantasy take on the concept lol#knight commander Steve#Knight First Class Robin#Dread Lord Evil Guy Eddie Munson#Who is neither evil nor a lord#a weird little take on enemies to lovers LOL
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you are awful at video games.
you know this. tomura knows this. the entire internet probably knows this by now, considering you’ve spent countless nights on his stream getting absolutely obliterated in every match, no matter how much he tries to coach you. and he does try, though half the time it’s through gritted teeth and muttered insults, hands twitching as if resisting the urge to just snatch the controller away from you and do it himself.
but you’re having fun, and that’s all that matters, right?
wrong.
tonight, you're sitting cross-legged on his gaming chair, wearing one of his oversized hoodies (because he said it was cold and refused to turn the heater on). tomura is beside you, sprawled on his bed, hoodie pulled up over his head as he watches you struggle through a level you should've cleared twenty minutes ago.
his stream chat is ruthless.
how is she this bad
pls put her out of her misery
tomura blink twice if you're in pain
he sighs loudly, letting his head fall back against the mattress. "you're killing me, princess. literally dying over here."
"i'm trying!" you whine, gripping the controller tighter. "the combos are confusing!"
he peeks at the screen just as your character plummets off the edge for the hundredth time. "jesus. do you want me to suffer? is that your plan?"
"shut up," you mumble, brows furrowed in concentration. "i'm focusing."
he scoffs, rolling onto his side to face you. "you’re embarrassing me in front of everyone."
"oh no! what a tragedy." you stick your tongue out at him before turning back to the game, missing the way his eyes flicker down to your lips for just a second too long.
he clicks his tongue, tapping away on his phone as his chat continues roasting you. he’s about to make some smart ass comment when he notices something that makes his fingers tighten around his phone.
someone in chat just said you were cute.
he stares at the message, then at the dozens of others popping up after it.
she’s actually so adorable
lowkey wanna wife her
im down bad for ur noob bestie tomura
a slow, simmering irritation builds in his chest.
he’s used to his chat being unhinged. they say dumb shit all the time. but for some reason, the idea of random faceless losers thirsting over you is making his jaw clench.
you're his best friend. his pain in the ass. his.
not theirs.
he doesn’t say anything at first, just subtly adjusts the camera angle so you’re barely visible in frame anymore. but his chat immediately notices.
tomura MOVE
why u blocking the view bro
he’s gatekeeping her lmao
his eye twitches. "shut up."
"who are you talking to?" you ask, not looking away from the screen.
"no one," he mutters, fingers tapping aggressively against his phone screen as he bans a few particularly annoying users from chat.
but it doesn’t stop. they keep talking about you, and the more they do, the worse his mood gets. he watches, silently seething, as you laugh at something, completely unaware of the way his grip tightens around his phone. you’re just so oblivious, so utterly clueless to the fact that he’s sitting right there, trying not to be a jealous, possessive freak over something as dumb as this.
it’s fine. it’s whatever. he doesn’t care.
except he does.
and when you finally beat the level, turning to him with a beaming smile and expecting praise, all you get is a grumpy huff as he yanks the controller from your hands.
"my turn. you suck."
"hey! i just finished that level!"
"yeah, after thirty minutes."
he ignores your protests, shoving his headset fully on and gripping the controller like he's about to unleash hell. his fingers move expertly over the buttons, and within seconds, he’s speeding through levels like they’re nothing. his chat is going insane, but he barely pays attention, too focused on demolishing every enemy in sight.
meanwhile, you slump against his shoulder, pouting. "you’re so mean."
he stiffens for half a second before relaxing, pretending not to care about the way your warmth seeps into his side.
"and you're awful at games," he grumbles, but his voice is softer now, barely audible over the sounds of combat filling the screen.
he doesn’t push you away.
and when you stay pressed against him, he doesn’t complain.
© 2025 shinig6mis | do not plagiarize, repost, or translate any of my work.
#𝐍𝐄𝐘𝐒𝐀 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 ꩜ .ᐟ#pro streamer!shigaraki#best friend!shigaraki#bnha x reader#mha x reader#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#yandere shigaraki#shigaraki tomura x reader#shigaraki tomura#yandere x reader#shigaraki x reader#tomura shiragaki#shimura tenko#streamer!au#league of villains
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doesn’t surprise me feyre doesn’t do her high lady duties and she only brings it up for her own interests bc remember how much she brought up tamlin not making her a high lady?
tamlin would have made her his lady, same duties now she is doing now except her title has “high” word in it
“tamlin never saw me as his equal” bc your not! you don’t even know the basics of fae world!
tamlin not seeing feyre his equal for position of ruling does not mean he didn’t love or value her
it’s most likely tamlin thought they had all the time in the world now and he would teach her as they’d go
and is like what’s wrong with that?? some self reflection would go a long way feyre
she isn’t educated
she knows nothing about the faes or lands
has no training in politics
has no idea how to behave at court
she knows nothing
feyre had no reason to believe she is worthy of being tamlin’s or anyone’s equal in a position of leadership over a court
all she did was free tamlin, who then killed amarantha
if she believes it should be bc of love like honey, that’s not how it works. again it shows she has no knowledge of the land, of fae and the world of power
if it was human lands and politics then it’d make sense, they don’t follow magic bound laws
does that mean kallias sees viviane, who was in charge while he was UtM, as weak? no
if feyre wants to hate tamlin for not teaching her anything like girl at first u didn’t care about it and then u were traumatised and whisked away to nc, when was he suppose to teach u??
even if we ignore magic choosing the ruler rule….
she married a high lord and got her title, but she hasn’t earned it
it would be one thing if she worked after getting it through marriage but she hasn’t. all she did was destroy a court, attack lady autumn, look down on her citizens like her mate and opened a paint studio like?? that’s not ruling
“i’m the high lady of night court, i can do as i please” but u can’t honey, that’s not how it works
it’s a title she shows off but she doesn’t do the job it requires, and i don’t see how she is respected for it- for being a high lady
feyre hasn’t earned the title of being a high lady
she hadn’t even earned a position of power or a position in a court
for nesta, i don’t believe she’s ready nor has earned a title of a ruler either, but she is educated enough to be a part of a court
nesta was meant to married for power but it’s feyre who actually did
looking back, it’s crazy how much tamlin not naming her a high lady bothered her and she did no self reflection on it
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jealous
768 words, james x remus
“It’s betrayal!” James cried, absolutely outraged as he paced the dormitory, hands running furiously through the mess of his hair. “Remus should be here with us! He’s our Moony! Instead, he’s cuddling up to Evans! Evans! She doesn’t even know him! I know him! He and Evans aren’t right for each other! Remus is right with the Marauders!” He turned to Sirius and Peter expectantly, raising his eyebrows and gesturing for them to agree with him.
“Um. Yeah,” Peter nodded nervously, as if afraid James might hit him with his wildly gesticulating hands. James scoffed at that, because yes, he wanted to hit something, but he wouldn’t actually. The only person he felt tempted to hit was Remus, who was down there enjoying being attached by the hip to Evans, and that was the reason James wanted to hit him in the first place, so if Remus would stop doing that, then James would hug him like the friends that they were.
They were the Marauders! Remus should be with them.
James voiced all of this, and Sirius burst out laughing.
“What is so funny?!” he glared. “This is another betrayal! Sirius! Marauders agree with each other!”
“Mate, I do agree with you,” Sirius chuckled placatingly. “I think Remus should be with you too.”
“Good!” James pointed, ranting once more. “Marauders stick together! Remus should pay for this! I can’t believe him! I know Evans is attractive, and yeah, I want to go out with her too, but Marauders come first!”
Sirius squinted at him. “You want to go out with Evans?”
“Well, yeah,” James deadpanned. “‘Course I do. She’s fit, right?” he checked with Sirius, who shrugged concedingly. Thoughtfully, he added, “It explains why I want to rip Remus’s hand off of her whenever he touches her. I mean, why is he touching her?! He should be with us! He doesn’t need to hug her when I give him the best hugs ever! He can just ask me! Why isn’t he asking me?!”
Sirius tilted his head. “He does ask you.”
“Oh!” James grinned. “He does! I give the best post-moon cuddles,” he placed a hand on his heart smugly. “He always comes to me for them.” Dropping his hand, he frowned suddenly, “But now he’s going to Evans! He knows I’ve been asking her out for years! Doesn’t he care about me? Why doesn’t he care about me?”
Quietly, Peter inputted, “He does care about you.”
“Well,” James huffed. “He doesn’t show it very well. Hanging off the arm of the bird I fancy. How is that caring about his best mate’s feelings? I want to date Evans. Now she’s getting caught up in Remus’s charm! His charm is only for us! It’s special! It should be treasured! Evans wouldn’t treasure it as much as I do.”
Sirius and Peter shared a glance. While Sirius shook his head at him, Peter cleared his throat hesitantly, “How would you treasure Remus?”
Ignoring Sirius’s groan, James swivelled to scowl at Peter, “What do you mean how would I treasure him?! I already treasure him! I hold him right here,” James jabbed his heart. “He’s my friend, and I give him everything. I was the one to befriend him first, wasn’t I? Because I saw he was innocently clever. I saw it in the corners of his smile, and I saw in the light of his eyes that something glowed inside of him while everyone else ignored it! I saw that he was a devious mastermind and I saw that he was as mean as he was kind and I still see it every day because he’s everything. And—”
“This is too much,” Sirius interrupted loudly, eyeing Peter and muttering, “Why.”
Peter smiled at him sweetly. “Because it’s cute, don’t you think?”
Sirius slammed his hands down forcefully, and turned to James. “This is too much.”
James was very confused. “What is?”
“You don’t fancy Evans!” Sirius yelled.
James stumbled back from the sheer volume of it. He looked to Peter for some explanation, except Peter was leaning back on his pillow as if watching some soap opera.
“Um. I do,” James replied.
“Then why do you call her Evans?!” Sirius demanded.
“Well… we’re not that close yet. It’s… our thing,” James pursed his lips, pondering over his reasons.
“You don’t have a thing with her! Her name is Lily, and I bet you didn’t know that,” Sirius fumed.
James bit his lip. He hadn’t known that.
Sirius took one look at him and burst out laughing once again. “You’re not jealous of Remus, mate. You’re jealous of Evans.”
#marauders#moonchaser#wolfbucks#platonic prongsfoot#platonic prongstail#james potter#sirius black#peter pettigrew#remus lupin#lily evans#platonic moonflower#remus and lily#james x remus#remus x james#marauders microfic#james potter x remus lupin#remus lupin x james potter
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Delirious | J. Uso|R. Reigns Teaser
Summary: When Titania buys an old typewriter from a closing thrift store, she thinks it’s just a vintage gem—until the words she types start coming true. However, the typewriter doesn’t just bring fantasies to life—it twists them. Giving Titania way more than she bargained for.
Pairing: Titania Marshall (Black OC) x Jey Uso x Roman Reigns
Author’s Note: First off I swear this the last story I’m starting LOL! One story is coming to an end. Another will have to be paused until someone comes back. I need something to hyperfocus on... bear with me.
This story is another AU thing. So, it might align, or it might not. I will try my best to keep it current enough. Nonetheless, it’s mash up of a few things: That one episode of Goosebumps. That one episode of the Twilight Zone. And that movie by the same title, Delirious featuring John Candy. I’ma make it work. Plus, I like mystical spooky shit with a bit of Jerry Springer type mess.
Warning(s): Will be updated each chapter. None for this.
Disclaimer: This work of art is fictional in nature including the original characters created by me. I do not own any of the existing characters or lyrics from songs referenced in this story (if any). All rights belong to their respective owners with the exception of my original characters. This work is purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended to cause harm.
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Preview of Chapter One
Titania only wanted to spice up her writing routine when she brought home the sleek black typewriter from a closing thrift store. Sure, the cryptic warning from the shopkeeper about stories "taking on a life of their own" was weird, but who actually believes that kind of thing?
She certainly didn’t.
Until a stormy night left her fingers flying over the keys, weaving a fantasy about one of her longtime crushes, WWE star Jey Uso. A knock at the door shattered her daydream—only to reveal Jey himself standing there, soaked from the rain, with a bouquet of roses in hand.
He smiled, casually stepping inside like he belonged there.
“I tried to call, but I think the storm’s messing with the signal.”
Titania’s grip on reality slipped faster than her hold on the bat in her hand.
She had written him into existence.
----
If any of you are interested in wanting to be on the taglist, let me know! Read Chapter One ...click here
#black fanfic writer#black oc#original character#wwe au#the bloodline#jey uso x oc#jey uso#wwe fanfiction#jey uso fanfiction#roman reigns x oc#roman reigns#roman reigns x black oc#jey uso x black oc
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giggling !! screaming !! KAVEH ! ILU ILU ILUUU !
** this was on a gc and the ‘she’ she was referring to was me 🙁 also edit two but why did i write osaku in tags rather than osaki im the worlds dumbest girl confirmed
#𓏲 𝐍 ܀ᬊ#Absolutelt hilarious how I was thinking abt nana osaku and how if I was into women I’d be soooo into her GOSH HAVE YOU SEEN HER !!! EEE#LISTEN ! the (ex)coworker I almost had a crush on IS SO SIMILAR TO THE DYNAMIC OF HACHI AND NANA TO ME LIKE WHAT#except she actually doesn’t like me like that#sometimes I don’t think she even likes me much as a friend at all#makes me sad#but anyways 🙁#help the hysteria hachi went through over nana WAS SO ME @ THAT GIRL but she doesn’t even notice me like that . . sniffles . . .#anyways I’m getting side tracked ! abt Kaveh ! thinking thoughts -_- hhhhhhhhhhhh 😇 DHSIAOQMA#imagine citlalis idle and then you’ll be looking at me cause SHE IS SO RELATABLE#but like back to the other thing I mentioned#I am sad :( like ! I wish she liked me in that way 🙁#she’s bi and has had crushes on girls and all but not me obviously#if anything she said why would anyone target me (cause I got harassed rllie bad on the train the other day) but I can’t help but think she#implied how can anyone view me in /that/ way#and it’s making me think how she always insists I’m like a kid to her even tho I am one year older#bawling my eyes out btw#I don’t want her to see me like that 🙁#she always calls me cute and stuff 24/7 and she says she doesn’t mean it in a bad way#but I never considered her to mean it in a bad way#that means she likes me like negative percent#SOBBING AGAIN#BUT LIKE WHY DO I WANT HER TO BE /in love/ WITH ME ??? ITS NOT LIKE INCAN RETURN THOSE FEELINGS IN THE EXACT WAY SHE WOUKD WANT ME TO#since I’m aroace#FRICK . .#I want her to like me /like that/ so bad bro 🙁#but she just sees me as a little kid#she even said this (I’ll edit the post and add a ss)#and once she had a crush on a lady who came to the clinic and the next day she dressed up for her AND I HAD TO TRY TO HOLD A STRAIGHT FACE#AS MY OTHER COWORKER NARRATED THAT STORY TO ME CAUSE *I* always tried to dress up for her . . 🙁
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For the first time since I can remember I did not hate every second around my family and… not only that actually…. Kinda enjoyed myself? Idk, just got home and I’m real tired but I think that’s just cuz I was up early and busy and then had the drive home. Christmas stuff and all that. My mom did…? Get me a pair of shoes that were lesbian colors…. I can’t tell if that was some insane coincidence and she didn’t know or her trying to say/do something all things considered. Apparently my siblings kept telling her I wouldn’t like them when she picked them out (which is fair I wear almost exclusively all black and mostly boots over tennis shoes) but she insisted so…. Mmm…. On the one hand I wish she would just like… say something? But if it was some weird way of being supportive I guess it was kinda sweet? Idk. I might be reading into it and it was just a coincidence
They also all insisted on helping me move in February which kinda has me like ???? Because I’ve moved four times since I’ve moved out and they have never once done a THING to help even when I lived much closer but I’ll take it cuz that means I won’t have to rent a truck cuz they’ll bring theirs and I won’t have to hire ppl to move the big furniture so that’s a lot of money I’ll be saving
They're also giving me one of the beds and mattresses from my great grandma's house since they've been clearing it out after she died a few months ago because when they asked what all I would I have to move and didn't say a bed and then explained my bed is a 20+yo mattress laid directly on the floor they were like :/ which obvi I know wasn't ideal I just couldn't afford to get a new one but now I won't have to. Obviously it's used but it's still only a year or so old they said, and I don't think I've EVER had a mattress that wasn't at least 15 years old so that'll be nice. I hope it helps some of my back issues...
Anyways, idk what fucking happened to these people in the span of a couple months but it kinda feels unreal
#they also got me some manga which…..#some of it was manga I wanted!!!#however one of the series I told her I wanted was blue exorcist and. well.#I guess she forgot the second half of the title because she got me volumes of some manga that was blue something#I don’t even remember I’d never heard of it before and when I read the summary it’s some slice of life romance#so now I have random volumes of the middle of that series that I have to figure out something to do with……#cant say I really wanna read it lol#didn’t bother to tell her it was the wrong series cuz tbh that was way more effort than she’s ever put into my actual interests#so I’ll take it ig#ugh this is so weird#it’s like. I can tell she’s trying to do better after we had that conversation last month#which yeah in some ways is nice obviously but really I just feel complicated#cuz it doesn’t fix everything else even if she gets better now#and also it was easier to just accept she fucking sucked and hate her#I think I still kinda hate her but…. ugh like I said idk it’s complicated#anyways my siblings also made me play Fortnite with them which I’d never played that#it was okay I guess#met my grandparents new puppy they’re obsessed with#(they’re both convinced they hate pets and ended up with him cuz my uncle got it for his daughter except both of them are bad a taking care#of things so he ended up with my grandparents)#but they’re so clearly obsessed with this fucking dog oh my god like it’s insane#they’re both the epitome of that joke about the dad not wanting the cat but then absolutely loving the cat#kaz rambles
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i love that one of the things amara says about chuck is that he “always had terrible taste in men.” amara what does that mean. men didn’t exist yet. what are you talking about. were you peeking outside of your prison just to see how shit your brother was at picking up guys.
#‘men’ actually is not a gender in the way we understand it. the proper definition of it is ‘people chuck dates that amara doesn’t like’#thats what a man is in the spn universe. and dean is one of them-#sorry they are so funny to me. petty sibling squabbling except its about concepts that didnt even exist#did she make that up on the spot actually. did she just decide that.#she’s like ‘retroactively i know he would have had shit taste in men. so he always has.’#she’s amazing. no notes on her character at all. gods evil sister breaks out and drags him for being the shitter bisexual of the two of them#amara spn#chuck shurley
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#okay but reading this Belloc essay on Austen really made something click in my mind#and it’s because of something he said#which is that women care more about what men think of them generally#(as a general rule. not all the time. etc.)#and men care more about the opinion of the one woman they care about#like women do care (as a first instinct at least) what every man she meets thinks of her#but men are mostly indifferent. until they’re NOT.#which makes women more vulnerable to a greater number of people#but men are MORE painfully vulnerable to the woman whose opinion they care about#and I don’t actually know that that vulnerability only extends to a woman they are attracted to/feel romantic feelings for#I think if they just think well of you as a person you (a woman) have a lot of power over them#which is sooooo interesting and makes so much sense!!!! and is something I’ve sort of been dancing around with teaching#like. a lot of the boys I teach come to care about what I think about them#which doesn’t mean they all have a crush on me. though that step can be super easy and super small#hence the need for the boundaries of steel etc. but it does mean that they care what I think about them!#and I’ve always felt that instinctively and felt that I had to be so gentle with them because the power to crush them is mine if I so choose#don’t let me overstate it. it doesn’t happen all the time or anything close to it. but the thing about me being a teacher is that#they are forced to know me not just in a surface-level way. simply because I spend so much time with them#and talk to them a lot!#ANYWAY. enough about me but yeah this hit me so hard and of course exceptions exist#and/or endless variations on this exist because people are unique and surprising and also everything is changing all the time#etc. etc. but there is something to this I think! and you know what#it’s so interesting because that base-level instinct for women (allowing it to be a thing I mean) can be grown out of#I have trained myself out of/maturity has helped me leave behind that immediate female instinct#of being hurt at the idea that this random waiter (for example) is indifferent towards me. I’ve come to accept it#the instinct is still there!!! because imo women are always scanning and searching and sizing up. and also we are so open to being won over#if that makes sense? which is why insta comments complaining about how only good looking men get away with things like. PLEASE.#there are so many medium-ugly men who get married. it’s the average because the average woman is prettier than the average man#(this is not an insult) women CAN be and usually are so open to being surprised. won over. moved by the simple fact that a guy likes them#and men are not like that. but my point is: men don’t grow out of caring if they care. when they care they care sooooooo much. anyways yeah
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Pinkerton son or blue album daughter
I love Pinkerton and all the songs, but if I ever met a guy who related to ANY of the songs it would be a giant red flag😭 (except for Rivers)
blue album daughter all the way!!!
#weezer#may i suggest…. pinkerton daughter?#that’s what i am i loooove that album so much#vinyl and a t shirt and a poster ; my top album of last year!!#amazing n i love it so much#rivers is the only exception because …. yk guys he’s rivers#but if u tell me unironically u relate to like THE GOOD LIFE or TIRED OF SEX like ah hell nah😟#is this a controversial take#i don’t think so but maybe!#rivers is the exception since he’s da rivs#plus blue album daughter…. well now that i think abt it#NOW IDK#what if she only knows blue album bc it’s a meme and doesn’t actually listen to blue? she just knows buddy holly?#she would be a POSER. (i’m kidding i don’t rlly mind 😭) but still#okay now i realize this is difficult#either way i would love my children (especially if they listen to make believe 🤤)#what if she thinks the record player is inside of the vinyl?#weezer why will u send her one and not me… please please please! i’m crying and begging!#i’m begging like the mr boss scene in smiling friends where his face turns to a dog#thags me 😎
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i was watching the end of s9 for reasons and honestly it really gets me how tex is literally BEGGING church not to say goodbye!!
i mean!!!
like this is not her sounding composed or put together or flippant like we get a lot from her, she is genuinely distressed at the idea that church might be trying to sever their ties in that way
she’s panicked at the idea that they’re about to die and her last moments with him will be him disrespecting everything that he made her to be that she is
she may have loved him but she knew deep down that she couldn’t trust him, not after he was the one to bring her back and force her to live her cursed half life
#i LOVE THEM ok this is not a chex hating moment but everything that church did to her was MEAN#EXCEPT for when he let her go!!!#a lot of people try and tell me that him being the one to forget her is just another sexist moment of tex’s life is… i mean fair#but also!! tex’s WHOLE storyline is based in sexism!! she has absolutely no agency outside of church and church’s storyline#she exists only to be his girlfriend and further his storyline by dying again and again in front of him#SHES NOT EVEN HER OWN CHARACTER!!! she is - LITERALLY - a fragment of him broken off unable to ever be whole without him#AND SO#church saying that ‘he’ forgets her and that ‘he’ is letting her go while it doesn’t actually give her any agency#it returns her to where she SHOULD BE!!#WHICH IS DEAD!!!#she could not die without him refusing to bring her back bc otherwise it wouldn’t be death it would be a waiting period for him#anyway her restoration ending was way better but i do really think that church letting her go at the end of s9 was a mercy#and an act of love on his part#but this!!!!!#this moment made me tear up shes literally like breathless#and she wants him so badly to not fuck up this moment together#bc it’s not that she’s afraid of dying -she’s done it so many times by now- it’s that she’s afraid of what he might do#agony agony agony agony agony#rvb#red vs blue#agent texas#leonard church#rvb tex#rvb church#rvb chex
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pisses me off so much much that i’m not immune to people arguing about steven universe
#what is it about that g-dforsaken cartoon that makes my bones weep for blood#its like. the perfect combination of well intentioned progressive storytelling bungled themes antiblackness fandom culture and shipping bul#bullshit queer community physiology kids show and actually-good-except-all-the-bad-parts#anyways any defense of the show that starts with ‘lily orchard is full of shit huh’ immedialy into the trash you fucking go#not all criticism of the fucking thing stemmed from one annoying youtube skank. people have been hypercritical of SU since before that vide#was a glimmer in orchard’s eye - people have been making great and godawful points about it since steven fucking two#STEVEN TWO?!?#SEASON#like some points made against it ARE bullshit! but not all of them! and when real life seems to have spat out a few strawmen for yall to ar#argue against you’ll never make actual progress on the genuine fucking issues people have on it! its useless!#also it really irritates me that bc some people escalated criticisms of the diamonds to ‘su condones nazi redemption’ all responses to the#shows approach to justice just get countered with ‘but RS is jewish’.#like YEAH and actually her jewishness does inform the shows approach to justice abd punishment but that doesn’t make the end result GOOD#also judaism isn’t. spiritually speaking. 100% about reform and self-reflection rather than christian damnation barbarity or whatever#there is in fact harder edges to our shit its just unlikely steven universe would include WD getting hanged along with all her sons orchang#changing her mind at the last second because she hasn’t earned an uncomplicated admittance of fault and she sends and army after the#escaping stevenites only for said army to get drowned alive as the sea closes around them#lol#(or that it SHOULD have#imo while the diamonds did escape proper justice from just a tonal and like. thematic cohesion standpoint a violent execution of the#dictatorial class really would NOOOOT fit the show in any sense)
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i have learned that the big feelings spike when i’m sick
#vari posting#two nights ago it was the shame#last night it was general hurt#tonight it’s. dysphoria????? for the first time in years????#idk i’m fem presenting. i’ve always been fem presenting except when i was forced into a masc position#not gonna get into it#but yeah. i gave up on correcting my name and pronouns because i wear skirts and like makeup and stuff#also just. i realized i actually do care when people fuck up#i do in fact not enjoy being a woman#like i’m having non binary feelings. and that shouldn’t feel that crazy considering i came out just under four years ago#i kind of just got hit with the fact that i’m still trying to conform#when it’s clear that even if i DO conform i’m not gonna be accepted into society so why not own it#and like. i hate to say this but i’ve been considering experimenting with other pronouns again#i’ve been solid they/them for. literal years#thought i was a man for a while but definitely not#i’ve just been vaguely fem nb for a while but. just because i like doing that stuff doesn’t mean i’m actually on that part of the spectrum#i’ve been saying i’m genderfluid for a long time#but that was also when i was Hallucinating so i discounted it#i was solid on my identity until now so that was why#so i’m either fluid or more masc than i thought#which. pretty sure i’m solidly in the middle#i hate being solely referred to with he/him#but if someone is using he/him offhandedly it feels kinda nice?????? but not from specific people#i think that’s just the trauma though#yeah anyways i’m not gonna put he/they in my bio#it’s a situational thing#i prefer it to she/her but if someone calls me a he constantly it gets old#see this is why i used neos before i was bullied out of them#anyways 100% nb. i get so much joy out of having a deep voice lmaooo#like hearing ‘vari what gender are you i seriously can’t tell’ makes me happy
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Comparison of my oc line up from every year since 2021 (newest to oldest)
Something you might notice is that I started out drawing them like they were strangers and as I progressively “got to know them” they started to look way more like themselves
Every single year when I do this line up I think “oh man, this is it, I’ve peaked” and then next year I do it again better lol
#ocs#oc posting#oc ref#oc reference#oc#can you tell they mean everything to me yet#like these guys are my heart and soul#they’ve been with me through the best and worst years of my entire life#and they’ve grown up with me#just look at Liam he went through a different phase in like every iteration#also don’t ask why I didn’t give zed blush in the 2021 version cause I really have no idea#also look at their noses#their noses are meant to look like their first initial#konas nose isn’t visible so I put hers in her hair lolol#also their eye colors#they went from being their signature color to looking like they actually reflect who they are#except for Kona she doesn’t have eyes#and never has#and never will……………#my ocs#my art
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