#except for the merlin appearance at the end

[koffeinkaos]

I am just a girl of course i love hurt/comfort

I want Merlin to be kidnapped. Everybody and their grandmother tries to look for Merlin, at first it was the knights and Arthur but the more time passes the more people volunteer to help. Arthur is a wreck he cries three times a day and talks with noone except to bark orders and listen to search reports. When he's not actively out looking for Merlin but has to do the bare minimum of his job to keep Camelot somewhat functioning he is always in front of the window looking down in the courtyard, hoping Merlin would just appear.

This goes on for three weeks and by the end of that everyone is convinced Merlin is dead. Leon tried to tell Arthur, all his closest friends did, but the king refuses to listen. He flees from these conversations and hides on the battlements, once more on the lookout. But his thoughts slowly crawl in the same direction as he loses hope. Just when the first wave of grief hit him he catches sight of a brown jacket just like the one Merlin had.

Leon down in the courtyard had seen it too and couldn't believe his eyes as Merlin limped towards the steps. Immediately he gave the order to inform the king but before the man could turn around Arthur ran past them and towards his servant and he hugs the shit out of that man and half carries him to Gaius.

Gaius declares that he needs rest but is okay otherwise and Arthur asks if Merlin could rest in his chambers so he could keep an eye on him and the physician agrees. Arthur hurries them back to his rooms, Merlin is struggling to keep up and is insulting his king as usual. But when they reach the door Arthur shoves him in and his lips are on Merlins before the door is even closed. After a second of confusion they both relax into the kiss and Arthur starts to cry as he realizes that Merlin is safe in his arms and that he almost missed the chance to ever confess his feelings or to see that smile directed at him again.

And then they have the most satisfying gay sex in the history of satisfying gay sex ever

I will write this one day but if you have found a gem like this on ao3 i am begging you to let me know

[tiffaluvr]

worried for the people they love -> sadness

love's side effects, I guess

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Do you think Harry would swear or has sworn? Such a niche question, but trying to realistic write him swearing is such a mixed basket. On the one hand, I don't really picture him doing it, even under extreme distress. But I can also imagine him letting out a light swear if he's having a bad day and has a minor inconvenience

I 100% believe Harry swears. This post ended up being a little longer since I kinda went off and detailed how a bunch of characters in HP swear, not just Harry.

Sometimes, characters are shown to "swear" on page:

“Blimey,” said Ron weakly. (CoS)

“Blimey, it is!” said Ron quietly (OotP)

“What in the name of Merlin are you doing?” said Ron (OotP)

“Why the hell,” panted Ron (DH)

“I’ll join you when hell freezes over,” said Neville. (DH)

“Merlin’s beard,” Moody [Barty] whispered (GoF)

“Merlin’s beard,” said Mr. Weasley wonderingly (OotP)

“Harry, what the hell’s going on?” asked Bill (DH)

“Blasted thing,” Snape was saying. (PS)

("Blimey" and "blasted" are here since they were considered mild swear words when they became part of the language like "gosh" and "darn". "Merlin's beard" is kinda like saying "Jesus Christ" which was also considered a mild swear, even if no one really considers most of the above swears by today's standards).

The above is done when the swears are (very) light and something that you could print in a children's book. But sometimes, characters swearing is censored in the books:

Dean swore loudly. (CoS)

Thankfully, Snape sneezed at almost exactly the moment Ron swore. (CoS)

Ron dropped several boxes, swore, and made a rude hand gesture at Fred that was unfortunately spotted by Mrs. Weasley, who had chosen that moment to appear. (HBP)

and Lee swore so badly that Professor McGonagall tried to tug the magical megaphone away from him (PoA)

The lift clattered into view and they hurried inside. Every time it stopped Mr. Weasley cursed furiously and pummelled the number nine button. (OotP)

When that happens, I assume the swears are ones JKR couldn't get away with in a children's/YA book series. Like: "fuck" or "shit".

(Molly calling Bellatrix "bitch" is the only harsher swear word not censored in the books)

When Harry swears, it's sometimes not censored:

“She doesn’t love me,” said Harry at once. “She doesn’t give a damn — ” (OotP)

“And he didn’t think my mother was worth a damn either,” said Harry (HBP)

“Why not?” asked Harry. “Let’s get rid of the damn thing, it’s been months — ” (DH)

“Where the hell have you been?” Harry shouted. (DH)

But often enough, Harry's cursing is censored:

Harry swore under his breath (OotP)

Harry swore and turned away. (OotP)

Harry swore at the top of his voice, spinning on the spot to see where Mundungus had gone. (HBP)

Harry swore. Someone screamed. (HBP)

So, to me, this suggests Harry says "fuck" or British stuff like "sod off". He 100% does use harsher swears, and it's in character for him to do so. He swears under his breath when shit goes badly or he finds himself in a situation he really doesn't want to be in. He swears loudly when Mandungus escapes him, so when he's really angry, he can go and shout a proper F-bomb. Let Harry say "fuck", his life sucks and he deserves it.

Ron also swears sometimes harsher swears than "hell" or "bloody hell" but he does so more rarely than Harry and when things are really bad. Usually, he goes for lighter stuff like: "Merlin", "hell", or "blimey".

Hermione doesn't swear except for the "Merlin's pants" comment in DH which was clearly meant to be "Merlin's balls" but JKR got censored by her editors and one time she says "damn" in DH. Hermione doesn't even use light swears like "Merlin", "damn" or "hell". She, just, doesn't swear until DH, and even then only twice. Like, her most extreme for the majority of the books is going: "oh my", "oh my god", or "oh my goodness". Hermione is the only member in the Golden Trio that doesn't swear:

“Oh, my — ” Hermione grabbed Harry’s arm. (PoA)

“Oh my goodness,” said Hermione suddenly (PoA)

“Oh gosh, I forgot!” said Hermione (OotP)

“Oh my ...” Harry heard Hermione squeal, terrified, beside him. (OotP)

“Today?” shrieked Hermione. “Today? But why didn’t you — oh my God — you should have said — ” (HBP)

“Oh my — !” shrieked Hermione, as she and Ron caught up with Harry (DH)

I went a bit off track, but theses are some characters and how they swear that I found while searching this:

Harry, Dean & Lee: swear in profanities that need to be censored ("fuck", "shit", "sodding hell") often and sprinkle lighter swears ("hell", "damn") in there. Harry uses "damn" relatively often.

Ron, the twins, Bill & Arthur: use mostly light swears ("hell", "bloody", "blasted") but use some harsher swears ("fuck", "shit") when needed (and Molly isn't looking).

(I assume Ginny is in this above category too, but I only found her saying "damn" once)

Neville, Dumbledore, Hagrid & Snape (at least, when we see him): use only light swears such as "hell", "blasted" or "Merlin" and its derivatives.

Molly: Doesn't really swear except that one time (calling Bellatrix a bitch).

Hermione & Luna: never use profanities unless really at their limit. Don't even use light swears or "Merlin" and its derivatives. Hermione says: "oh my god" or "oh my goodness", Luna says: "oh, no".

Lupin doesn't swear anywhere on-page either.

Surprisingly I couldn't find any mention of Sirius swearing, not even light stuff (like "Merlin's beard"). I guess he really was raised to have proper manners. Or maybe he's actively censoring himself in front of Harry to be a good role model.

[saladscream]

Merlin’s forearms are a mystery.

Truly.

Now, in the interest of putting things into context, everyone within Arthur’s circle of daily acquaintances can be said to boast a pair of forearms (except that stable lad who still does a good job with the one remaining arm at his disposal). So, with the exception of Alfred, everyone has a pair of functioning upper limbs. Some of those forearms are hairy, some are smooth. Some are dark, some are pale. Some are spindly, and some are Percival’s. But the one thing they all have in common is that whatever their appearance, they all serve their purpose – and Arthur has absolutely no interest in them beyond the tasks they can accomplish.

Therefore, pray someone explain to Arthur why it is that the sight of Merlin’s bare forearms inevitably makes his mouth run dry.

It is a complete and irksome mystery.

Arthur is inclined to think that they are, on the whole, just regular forearms. But the way they affect him is both baffling and irresistible.

Percival’s battering rams are arguably a thing of beauty, yet Arthur has never had his heart stumble in his chest while gazing upon them wringing laundry. Elyan has the steel arms of a blacksmith for Heaven’s sake, and Arthur’s breath has never hitched in his throat from catching a glimpse of them carrying hauberks and assorted weaponry. Nor has he lost his train of thought from being unexpectedly confronted with Leon’s fine forearms glistening wet and dripping with bath water.

No – all these things have only ever happened for and with Merlin’s forearms.

Arthur would like to think he is suffering from some kind of weird affliction, or maybe some sort of pointless enchantment. But it all feels much too shamefully visceral and instinctive to be so easily excused by exterior influences.

When Arthur tries to be rational about his untoward obsession, he can argue objectively that Merlin’s forearms are aesthetically average. Neither too hairy nor too smooth. Neither too pale nor too dark. Neither too thin nor too thick.

They’re just… long and solid and beautifully virile.

And they make Arthur’s heart do sickening flips in his ribcage whenever they’re on display.

It is just as well that Merlin favours ill-fitting garments that are too long in the sleeves, for otherwise the spellbound prince would probably get very little done – these forearms are impossible to ignore when they’re in the room in all their twin, deceptively strong, masculine glory.

They’re so unchaste somehow. Arthur finds them entrancing.

Who even heard of such a thing as entrancing forearms?!

A mixed clamour erupts in the tavern, half-cheer, half-groan. Merlin has won his arm-wrestling match, much to the uninformed bystanders’ dismay. Arthur’s knights are in stitches, though, and a raucous Gwaine raises Merlin’s victorious arm high in celebration. He rattles him so vigorously in his drunken mirth that Merlin ends up chuckling with his tunic askew and a more plunging neckline than intended.

Which means Arthur is awarded this rarest of impossible visions – a wanton sliver of pale chest – and has to down his tankard of mead a little too fast to put out the nascent heat in the pit of his stomach.

Tagged: @miyriu @neptunesyellowsands @dollopole @shuukichan @merlininthedogpark @kintsugikid-moonysversion @toomanyfanficsbruh @blueliketheclues @solnishkomoon @evedaser @storigami @bertytravelsfar

1 - Merlin's eyes

2 - Merlin's lips

3 - Merlin's hands

4 - Merlin's throat

5 - Merlin's hair

6 - Merlin's ears

7 - Merlin's legs

8 - Merlin's forearms

9 - Merlin's chest

10 - Merlin's penis

11 - Merlin's arse

[bigfan-fanfic]

My Blooming Rose (Enchantress' Child!Reader x Ben Florian)

@iliumheightnights Hi friend! May I please request a little story? I'd love to read a story about Ben Florian dating a son of the enchantress reader. Reader still is learning magic and Ben helps him when he can and encourages him? All the fluff please?

In some respects, no one would necessarily blame your boyfriend's father for wanting to imprison your mother on the Isle of the Lost.

She did, after all, enchant a young, albeit spoiled, prince and condemn him (an eleven-year-old, mind you) to ten years of suffering and self-loathing in a body not his own.

But no. King Adam and his Queen would never have met if not for the Enchantress.

Besides, they learned well from the example of Queen Leah and King Stefan - don't piss off the magical entity in close proximity.

And so the Enchantress lived within Auradon, and you, her child, were born.

You're not sure you quite approve of the whole Isle of the Lost thing - your mother's punishments tended to get to people before they became irredeemable, so the idea of endless incarceration seems harsh, even by her standards.

But all the same, you are invited to Auradon Prep, mainly to study with the Fairy Godmother to hone your talents in magic. And since you aren't expected to enter a royal line, you don't even have to do some of the more inane Auradon courses.

But who would have thought that without any magic at all, you'd have ensorcelled the heart of Prince Ben.

Ben is just a spot of sunshine in your world, he's so affectionate and lovely.

And supportive!

He's figured out the loophole in the rule that he can't spend all his free time with you by organizing "study dates" in addition to normal dates.

But since magical homework and study is pretty involved, that just means he hangs around in your dorm with you more often than not.

Not that either of you mind.

Except this can sometimes lead to minor mishaps.

You're practicing a spell in the mirror, meant to help disguise someone by changing their appearance.

Focusing on your hair, trying to lengthen it just a little. Just a small test.

But then Ben leaps up to kiss you on the cheek and you wave the training wand just a little haphazardly-

And Ben gets a face-full of your magic.

"Oh my gosh, Ben! Are you okay?"

"Yup!" Ben groans from the floor. "Nothing broken. I think."

He hops back up to his feet, and you gasp.

Your boyfriend's smooth jaw has sprouted patchy growths of hair that are still thickening until they make a rather nice beard and mustache. "Ben... I..."

Ben sees himself in the mirror and grins. "Oh, this is nice!"

"It was an accident."

"If even your accidents are this great, you're gonna be a better wizard than Merlin!" Ben pats your shoulder before stroking his new beard. "It's not even scratchy!"

You blush. "You look really good with a beard."

"Do I look kingly?" Ben asks eagerly, striking a pose.

"You do, but let's try and find a counterspell quickly. Accidental magic tends to corrupt pretty fast. You might end up with the hair changing colors like a chameleon or something."

"That actually sounds kinda-"

"And then I wouldn't be able to see where to kiss you."

Ben instantly gets serious. "Let's hit the books."

"But uh... when you do reverse the spell... Maybe try it on purpose? I wanna see what kissing with a beard is like."

You grin. "Oh really? Why?"

"Cause when you're my Royal Consort, I'll probably grow out a beard and kiss you all the time, so... I wanna see what I'm working toward."

You laugh and then squeeze his hand. "In that case, let's get this thing reversed as soon as we can."

"Love you. My blooming rose."

"Love you. My noble king."

[sneakyboymerlin]

It appears that a CERTAIN INDIVIDUAL (said with love) has taken Merlin’s immortality into doubt… Once again I find myself burdened with writing beautiful Merlin analysis.

Merlin’s lengthy longevity is, of course, visually confirmed at the end of 5x13 when we see him alive and well in the modern day, making him approximately 1,500 years old now. This is, however, not the sole factor that implies his immortality.

Physically, Merlin has had many “near misses” with death which were likely actual deaths he and others (the audience included) dismissed due to plausible deniability. In 1x04 for example, Merlin stops breathing and his heart stops shortly after Gaius and Gwen administer the potion. Gaius does not attempt to resuscitate him, yet Merlin comes back fully cognizant anyway, with no external influence.

He is also struck directly by the Dorocha, a spirit whose touch no mortal has ever survived. Again, there is plausible deniability here due to Merlin’s powerful magic. However, the writers chose to specify that no mortal has ever survived their touch. There are other ways that the Dorocha’s death-touch could have been communicated, but it was instead made plain that there is no history of mortals specifically surviving the onslaught.

This is not the only instance where human mortality is mentioned only for Merlin to be excepted from the given conditions. Cornelius Sigan is another foe who cannot be overcome easily. However, Gaius chooses to express this in terms of mortality: “Sigan is immortal and you [Merlin] are not.” Miraculously, Merlin survives their standoff. Further, in 1x07, Merlin sees Avalon, which apparently cannot be seen by any mortal until death. Merlin says outright, “I’ve seen it and I’m still here.” In hindsight, it becomes clear that these hints are intentional foreshadowing and teasing hidden in idiomatic language. Lancelot also tells Merlin that his magic “doesn’t make [him] immortal,” which in itself means little in regards to Merlin’s mortality status, but in context brings to light further evidence of authorial intent: Merlin is the only character to be on the receiving end of such lines where his mortality is questioned or otherwise put to the test. No other character is subject to this dialogue full of double meaning.

Aside from these and similar examples, the nearest verbal confirmations we receive actually begin quite early on. In 1x08, Merlin is referred to by the name “Emrys,” which translates directly as “Immortal One,” though Merlin himself does not know it. Again, plausible deniability allows for other interpretations of this description; however, since Merlin happens to carry multiple of the defining traits of immortality (extreme longevity and improbable survival, especially after death has occurred), it is likely that this correlation lends credence to causation.

Most forgotten, and perhaps most importantly, is Balinor’s motivational speech to Merlin in the Crystal Cave. His revelation that Merlin “always will be” is of course another implication of immortality that is soon clouded by Balinor’s comparison to his own spirit’s unending life; however, this is not the key factor in understanding Merlin’s immortality. It is only one half of Balinor’s statement. The full line is: “[That] you have always been… and always will be.” This implies that not only will Merlin live infinitely into the future (as seen in the following episode), but that he has existed since the dawn of time, even prior to his human incarnation. Merlin is magic itself, which cannot be made or unmade, just as energy cannot be created or destroyed — only transferred. His human form is essentially a transference of magic from the cycles of nature to a single rigid life form.

Now, there are other questions on limits and constraints that the show does not touch on. For example, since Merlin was not formerly human and is — essentially — magic that was transformed into a human, could he be transformed back to a prior, unconscious state, returning to nature and therefore fulfilling “death” by human terms? Is he forever trapped in this human form by whatever gods confined him to it, or is his form more fluid than his consciousness? Regardless, these do not negate the fact that he is immortal by human standards.

It can be inferred that the writers had planned this from the start. They had certainly planned for Arthur to find out about Merlin’s magic in the series finale, Arthur’s death, and the sugarcoating that he will rise again when Albion’s need is greatest. The finale implies that Merlin will be reunited with Arthur again someday, even if that day is centuries away — though I do believe fandom often exaggerates his desperation. Merlin is not single-mindedly thinking of nothing but Arthur: in 5x13, he just happens to be walking by and pauses briefly (indicating that he remembers) only to lift his head and move forward with his own life. It serves primarily as a confirmation that he has found peace and is no longer tortured by it. And how could he be after over 1,000 years?

I delve more into specific examples that prove Merlin’s immortality here and here for those interested in further ✨ research ✨

[babybatss-blog]

SUMMER HAZE

Sirius x f!reader (850 words)

authors notes: Warning, this is a little bit of a horny one! Things are getting warmer so I thought this would be fitting

cw: sexual suggestions, kissing.

summary: a summer black lake day with your favourite black bf <3

The new summer breeze brings Hogwarts Academy a rare yet opportune streak of bright blue skies, accompanied by the welcomed buzz of bumble bees and students flying above in the warm sunlight. With the holidays drawing near and end of year exams coming to a close, students are often finding themselves with nothing better to do than spend time by the black lake, soaking in the bright rays. You and your friends are no exception.

It’s a lousy Sunday afternoon when you present to Lily, Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas the possibility of going for a swim, which they jump at as an opportunity to distract from the blistering heat. The castle may be a solid freezing temple during the winter, but it seems that it is not well equipped for rare heat streaks such as this. You pack your towels and put on your bathers, luckily finding a spot on the pier empty for use.

Today appears to be another relaxing end of school term day, as you, Lily and Mary bring books and Marlene and Dorcas go for a swim, but these meditative plans are abruptly put on hold as soon as you hear the ruckus jeers from the marauders.

“Merlin, your boyfriends here.” Lily pouts, clearly unenthusiastic by the appearance of Sirius, James, and their two best mates. The boys take no notice of this, confidently strutting over to you in their overtly tight trunks and cocky smirks. Sirius and James seem much too pleased to see the staring crowd at their arrival, while Remus and Peter loiter behind as to not draw in anymore attention than has already been caught.

“Hello my darling” Sirius greets you, a signature smoulder on his pale face. Although you have been with him for a considerable amount of time already, his smooth words never fail to make you blush. He plops himself down next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder and pinching your book from your hands despite your protests. “No need for that my dear. After all, your gorgeous, sexy, amazing boyfriend is here.” You roll your eyes, despite secretly agreeing with this notion. You would never let him know though; his ego is already big enough as it is.

“Hey Sirius” you smile, taking in his beautiful features. He isn’t necessarily buff in physique, but nevertheless his lean abs gleamed in the sunlight along with his rosy cheeks and long eyelashes. How you managed to garner his attention you never know, but sometimes he makes you feel so beautiful you almost see his point of view.

And today is no exception. You take your book back from him so you can enjoy the day how you please, but it appears Sirius has other plans as he runs his hand up and down your thigh. His hand inches further and further up your leg, causing you to find it difficult to focus on your page. You glance over at him, and he smirks. He knows exactly what he’s doing. In order to stop him, you hold his hand, which doesn’t necessarily work either. Instead, Sirius kisses your neck soft and slow. “Sirius…” you mumble, slightly embarrassed by the fact that some students are looking over at you. He hums but continues to leave soft kisses up to your jawline. Rolling your eyes you give up on reading and set the book down, knowing that it was never going to last anyways. “I won” he murmurs, before locking lips with yours into a passionate kiss. You get lost in the moment, adrift in your bound love display as your hands tangle in his silky hair and his roam your back. You almost forget where you are, before Sirius picks you up and jumps of the pier!

The cold water hits your body and surrounds you, only void in the front half of your body that is still enveloped around Sirius. Once your heads break the water you gasp for air, but Sirius merely laughs. “You prick!” You exclaim, Pushing away from him despite the smile on your face. You don’t even get the moment to recollect yourself before James, Lily and Peter Jump in over you leaving a massive splash in your direction. You laugh, shocked by the sudden shift in mood before being encased by Sirius from behind. He kisses your shoulder, paddling in the water together as you watch the others swim around. His warmth swarms you, like a blanket on a harsh windy day. You spin around, arms around his shoulders and eyes engaged with one another. “You’re such a dummy.” Although these words seem harsh, your voice is filled with adoration. “And you’re so embarrassing.” He replies, with the same tone.

As the sun shines above, the water shimmers around you and the air is filled with students laughter. The day is absolutely perfect, and spending it with Sirius seems like a dream come true.

[interstellarsystem]

Disorder Differences in Systemmates

Systemmates share the same brain, which often leads to the assumption that they're all affected the same by the brain itself. Its wiring, its abilities, and its disabilities. But symptom holders or those with intra-disorders are fairly common--at least in circles we run in--and they're not often talked about for fear of fakeclaiming or appearing ableist. We have headmates who are affected in all sorts of different ways by our disabilities. Some find things harder than others, while others actually find some tasks or symptoms easier to manage. It absolutely varies from headmate to headmate, which makes certain headmates better suited for fronting during certain times than others.

Merlin is more affected by our psychosis, particularly hallucinations, and xe tends to be more susceptible to paranoia. Mystery is a psychosis holder too, and has more positive symptoms like hallucinations than the rest of us, but is less affected negatively by it. It often hallucinates and falls into delusional thinking, but it's not really too bothered by it. So Mystery is a good choice for someone to front when we're having a psychotic episode. Sometimes, having Merlin cofront with Mystery makes it easier for Merlin to not be so susceptible to xyr symptoms.

I (Martin) have more obvious anxiety than the rest of us, and struggle much more in social situations. I'm much better at hyperfocusing on tasks, though. So I'm better suited for staying home and working on whatever the current project we have at the time, or keeping our to-do lists in check. Vince on the other hand is calm in most social situations that are more professional--so he's good for business meetings and such. In more casual conversation though, Vena and Merlin are much better at it and better suited to non-professional social groups.

Vince is an intra-NPD holder and also holds stronger symptoms of our BPD. He struggles immensely with percieved rejection, much more than the rest of us. But he also almost completely lacks empathy, which makes it much easier for him to be calm and logical in stressful situations. He finds it easier to help friends and those he cares about during stressful times because he's not weighed down by feeling their emotions--whereas the rest of us might break down from stress.

We talk a bit about mental disability differences in headmates more than those who differ physically. Somehow it seems more controvertial to mention that we have headmates that differ with physical symptoms while even in safe system spaces. It seems like most people (us somewhat included) mainly think of symptom holders as a mental disorder thing--a line of thinking we're trying to dispel. Headmates can have different disabilities and symptoms of all kinds, and it's not ableist or "harmful" to know that and speak about it. Headmates with different conditions to the body need to be recognised more.

Mike needed a cane in his memories and he absolutely needs our cane when he fronts more than the rest of us. He feels more at home and like himself having a cane by his side here, though, so it's good we already had one. I (Martin) need it more too--my joints are just more prone to pain. But our cane folds up nicely into our bag, so if we switch out in public, it's always with us just in case. Even if it's silly, we feel safer having a cane too--I mean, it's a metal pole. We're out as trans and clearly not your Regular Society Member, so it provides some feeling of safety to have.

Jayfeather was blind before, and since coming here he sure can see now, but he's much more light sensitive than the rest of us. The feeling of being able to see was nice at first, even if it was foreign, but sometimes he feels it's not worth the hassle. He needs to wear sunglasses when fronting because his eyes just end up hurting from even small amounts of light. Crowley is the same, except he wasn't blind in his memories--he just got used to always wearing sunglasses in his life to hide how his eyes looked, and needs them here now. They're both more prone to migraines due to this.

Merlin is more shaky on his feet than others who front often. His legs are digitigrade and in headspace he has his wings and tail to balance him there--but in the body, he doesn't have any of that. His legs are the wrong shape and he has no counterweight to his posture. Even with our cane, he's more prone to tripping than most.

Mystery was a godlike being that didn't need to eat human food, or any physical food at all. It often forgets that eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom are things the body needs to do, because it doesn't often feel the need to do them. That can be good if we're running low on food, or if we can't eat for a while such as before a medical procedure though, so it's useful in its own way. Mystery is also not used to using its hands for intricate things like tying shoelaces, as it's hands before we're longer, bigger, and mainly nonphysical. It didn't need to be intricate, so it's hard for it to do things others in here can.

There's so many more examples in our system. The thing is, there can be positives and negatives to any disorder, really--and headmates are no different with that. We don't necessarily assign headmates "roles" or "jobs" based on their symptoms or lack thereof, but for us to function better as a collective, people tend to gravitate toward doing certain things they know others can't. It's important for us to know how we differ with our disabilities, and work around them together as best we can.

Systemmates with different symptoms aren't uncommon, and they're not mocking disabled people, or lying for some benefit. I'd argue that for some systems with symptom holders or intra-disorder holders, it's increcibly important to know about how you differ and how to work together to be functional--whatever functional means for you.

[bisclavret]

dagonet yaoi ranked

dagonet x arthur: the obvious one! arthur loves dagonet and respects him and trusts him more than his knights when shit starts hitting the fan near the end. and needless to say dagonet is a devoted freak about arthur (that whole monologue about how he wants to be put on a leash and whimper at his feet comes to mind) so they're textbook king/jester yaoi except sweeter because there's never any backstabbing or abuse. 10/10

dagonet x merlin: toxic mentor/mentee relationship when they're younger but kind of sweet in a cringe old man way when they're just two old freaks. ea robinson wrote them as camelot's final girls that leave camelot together and grieve their king in each other's arms at a nearby tavern. 8/10

dagonet x kay: kay causes him bodily harm whenever they share a scene which makes sense since dagonet's whole job is to run his mouth and kay is very easily offended. but sometimes they play practical jokes on enemies together? also they are both influential and close with arthur but nobody takes them seriously bc they're gay and annoying. which makes them perfect for my clown4clown agenda. :) 11/10

dagonet x gawain: similarly to arthur, gawain loves and respects dagonet - sometimes he's even the one who knights him instead of arthur (everyone booed)! they swap narrative roles the closer the story gets to the fall of camelot as dagonet acts as a more serious figure warning everyone about how the end is nigh while gawain becomes the Fool whose hatred and rash decisions guarantee the end will be nigh. lots of fun characterization to work with. plus they genuinely like each other! 9/10

dagonet x lancelot: i don't think there's much going on between them aside from the story where dagonet thinks himself unworthy of even attempting the grail quest but then the grail secretly manifests for him when lancelot is injured and near death and he uses it to save him and never tells anyone what happened. kind of sweet! i love 19th/20th century arthuriana, i do. 6/10

dagonet x dinadan: i personally think they should unionize against the jocks but dinadan is funny in a cool girl way while dagonet is funny in a cringe theatre kid way so they probably steer clear of each other. sad! 3/10

dagonet x tristan: tristan tried to drown dagonet during one of his hissy fits but it's tristan so i can't really spin this into homoeroticism the way i can with kay. not least bc he drowned him so hard dagonet stopped appearing in texts for like 500 years after that one. 0/10

[shieldedreams]

can't hide anything from you (maybe that's a good thing) (e.u.)

summary ⇾ it's moments like these where eggsy's grateful you can read his mind without trying (but sometimes, it still hurts). details ⇾ 1,365 words / eggsy unwin x gn!reader / 🌸 comfort fluff (slight angst) / things get a little spicy at the end but nothing explicit! notes ⇾ me: rewatches kingsman / also me: always has to write about eggsy every time the movie ends ; 3 ;

for the whole weekend, you know–know–eggsy has something that he's not telling you... and you'd be a liar to say you weren't thankful he was trying to keep it out of the conversation. to enjoy the solace and peace of having your lover with you. to enjoy and succumb to his kisses, touch and not be reminded that it could all go away. it's like the calm before the storm. the inevitable would be coming even if you tried to ignore it and... let's just say today's the day you can't go another day pretending like you didn't know.

or that you didn't know to know what you would know soon.

it's been a few days and the uncertainty is biting you every time you think about it. there's only so long you can keep this façade.

"eggsy," you murmur, past the low hum of the television in front of you. it's like you've stirred him from his little reverie when he lets out a soft hm? you feel him shift behind you as the two of you tangled up on the sofa with both of your heads on one end of the arm rest (or rather, eggsy's head on the arm rest, yours on his arm) and your legs in between each others' at the other end of the sofa.

"don't you... is there something you wanna tell me?"

eggsy hasn't been known to crack under pressure but... you're not just any pressure he's come to know. come to love. come home to. you feel it when his body stiffens just a little, how he sucks in a breath and it makes you smile.

not out of happiness that you're right but... rather that you know if there's anything, eggsy could never lie to you. the world, the organisation, maybe. to you? (when you turn ever so slightly to come face him and ignore the television, the glow of the blue screen that coats your silhouette as you blink up to him) never.

"how is it you can figure it out every time?" he murmurs, shifting back until he hits the back of the sofa to accommodate for you to be able to turn around to face him properly. he curls his arm (the one your head is on) to reel you closer, securing you with his other arm around your waist to anchor you in.

"i'd be a mind reader at this point, eggsy unwin," you snort, snaking your arms (wedging them beneath the sofa) to hug him around the waist. "but maybe it's because i like you that i can figure out your patterns."

he's not stalling but he is curious.

"what pattern?"

"well..." you sigh, "you always bring flowers when you have to go to another mission. and when you top it off with chocolates and a gift basket, that's how i know it's going to be far worse than i imagined."

you watch as your words swirl in eggsy's mind. a cross between adoration and... is he offended?

"that's not fair," his brows knit together, the lines appearing on his forehead, "i can hardly hide anything from you."

with that, you only smile. no come back, no retort. it makes eggsy's heart sink as he heaves out a deep exhale. he pulls you closer and presses his forehead onto yours, his lips giving you a gentle kiss before he murmurs over them: "and it's not to say it's a bad thing, my love. i just... i just feel like you always know when i'm about to leave that–"eggsy's words swell up in his throat, his eyes widening when you cut him off with–"you're leaving?"

he clears his throat, his hand stroking your back, "j-just for a month."

he sees that you're confused when your nose scrunches. because he's familiar with that fact that the two of you have been away from each other much longer than that but–"this time... no contact. i'm going dark to ensure nobody knows about my whereabouts except for merlin. so that means..."

it's times like these where he's grateful to be together with someone just as smart as he is–if not smarter.

"not even me," the words come out of your lips in a whisper. a somber one. but it's powerful enough to rupture through eggsy's heart. it makes him frown, especially when your eyes flicker down to his chest.

he sighs, leaning down to kiss you. it starts of gentle–it always does–before eggsy feels your arms snaking up along his sides to go around his neck and it's usually an indicator for him to turn you around. he swallows the gasp you let out when you feel your back meeting with the sofa but eggsy pillows your head with a hand. you sigh as his lips move down along your neck, settling on a spot that makes you thread your fingers through his hair with one hand, the other keeping him close around his back.

eggsy's settled between your legs, his hips grounded down like he belongs there, like you belong here. you hear–feel–him grunting when your legs wrap around him, drawing him closer, deeper.

before things can escalate further (as it always does), eggsy pulls back to gaze down on you. his heavy breathing laced with yours as you blink up to him. eyes luring with want, body gripping with need but there's one thing eggsy needs to make clear of. his hand slides from behind your head to cup your cheek. he smiles as he watches you lean into his touch, a hand of yours coming up to lap it over his with a smile.

"whatever happens," eggsy says, "i'll come back to you. i always do, don't i?"

your eyes flutter shut as you nod, "always."

"and i will again this time," he kisses you, hard. as if he's trying to imprint his promise onto your lips. but he pulls back (knowing he'll continue again soon) just to watch you open your eyes with an idle smile on your face. for him.

"promise me," you whisper, arms curling around his neck to lure him down. he leans his forehead onto yours as he nods, holding you close, "i promise you. and a hundred times more after that."

you don't respond with words, only actions with the way one of your hands go back through eggsy's hair; deliciously raking through his scalp while the other smoothens down his chest. it invites him down to kiss you; longer, passionate and soon, with the vigor that makes you gasp and see the stars behind your closed eyes.

as eggsy pulls back from kissing you, the cheeky grin he has on his face and the glint in his eyes is what makes your heart skip a beat. more so when his hands begin to push your legs apart as he crawls down.

"now, let me seal the promise, love."

((a couple of hours later, you're not curled up in bed–showered and tucked in wearing eggsy's hoodie and your pair of joggers. when you shift around, getting to a more comfortable position, your eyes peel open to see eggsy smiling at you, stroking your cheek. "that's really creepy if i didn't love you," you mumble under your breath, scooching closer to him. you hear him laugh but you don't see it when your eyes close, squeezing one of his hands you have captive. "then lucky for me that you love me, no?" eggsy chuckles, and you don't have to see to know he's smiling. "yeah yeah," you mutter, "lucky you." eggsy moves closer to you and you can tell he's about to fall asleep, too. but he gives you a kiss to your forehead and gives another to your cheek before you feel the pillow next to you dip down. "i love you," you nod, giving his hand a squeeze. "i know." you hear eggsy kiss his teeth with his tongue before he gives your bum a smack. that earns a chuckle from you. and he'd be damned to say it didn't make him laugh, too. "i love you too, eggsy." this time, eggsy gives your hand a squeeze as he feels himself drift away to sleep, knowing very well when he wakes up you'll be here with him. and that alone promises him that he'll fight to make sure it happens every night.))

[taliesin-the-bored]

"What's the deal with Taliesin?"

A somewhat lengthy ramble about the most powerful (or most arrogant) character in Arthurian legend

On the one hand, his powers exceed Merlin’s—Merlin describes himself as “second only to Taliesin” (in “Ymddiddan Myrtin a Talyessin”), and Taliesin claims to have profound knowledge of the cosmos dating back to Creation (he says poetic inspiration was created at the same time as fresh milk, dew, and acorns). He knows everything and can shapeshift into pretty much anything, if the catalogues he gives are anything to go by. He survived being swallowed alive, being thrown in the sea ("Ystoria Taliesin"), and (it seems) going on a raid of the Otherworld during which all but seven of Arthur’s many warriors died ("Preiddeu Annwn"). Then or at some other point while he was in Annwn, he pierced 8,000 men with spears he got from Heaven ("Cad Goddeu"). That puts his casualty count above that of anyone else I can think of in Arthurian legend (They fall "by the hundred" to Bedwyr--"Pa Gur"--but by "forty score hundred" to Taliesin). For all we know, he's indestructible; from what he claims, he's omniscient.

On the other hand, he sometimes seems like Sir Kay Xtreme Bard Edition with Extra Arrogance. In The Book of Taliesin, he has a really bitter (one-sided?) feud with other scholars and monks (some variant on "pathetic men of letters” appears many a time), who he accuses of ignorance because they don’t know the answers to various questions he never gives the answers to himself, and he loses or alienates everyone until the only person who visits him is a dude named “Goronwy, from the dales of Edrywy” ("Cad Goddeu"). Not much is known about this Goronwy, though it’s been speculated that he’s the speaker in “Claf Abercuawg”, in which case he’s an ailing societal outcast and probably couldn’t get anyone to talk to him except Taliesin. There’s a strong pathos to this—time, and maybe hubris, came with a fall, leaving him somewhat like a washed-up starlet or a burned-out wunderkind, abandoned now that he’s no longer the shiny new thing.

On the third hand, which I don't have but Taliesin could probably manage if he felt like it, much of this is from his point of view, and we have no way to prove he's telling the truth. When he tells his own origin story, he claims that he was Frankensteined together by enchanters at the dawn of time. This flatly contradicts "Ystoria Taliesin", so either there are multiple canons for his life story, he's talking as the Awen rather than as himself (in which case he's still contradicting himself--he also says it's a creation of the Lord), or he's lying about some of it. Why he would want to is anyone's guess, since he is quite powerful regardless.

If we don't take Taliesin at his word about his ability to kaiju battle giant toad monsters ("Cad Goddeu"), or take it with a grain of salt, then what are his accomplishments apart from self-preservation and repaying a life debt to Elphin? I am by no means an expert on him, but in what I've read, he does almost nothing in anyone else's story. It's almost like, apart from one or two times, he isn't able to find a way to use his powers for anyone else's good.

Then again, what is his primary power? Shapeshifting seems obvious (too obvious). He uses it for self-preservation (which is valid), for the heck of it (maybe), and/or for really dubious ends (see "Angar Kyfundawt" if you really must know, but trust me, you don't want to). Fighting is a less talked about ability of his. He can cause a lot of destruction (according to himself). It's not really clear what he fights for, though the various legendary kings he hangs out with are probably implied. Then, there's...

...the Awen. Inspiration. Poetry. He can do poetry, and he can do it very well. That is what he boasts about the most, and his boasts seem pretty justified. He’s Taliesin Ben Beirdd, Taliesin “Chief of Bards”, not Taliesin “the Shapeshifter” or Taliesin “Best of Warriors”, even though he may be both of those things. Shapeshifting only benefits him, and he's seen the horrors of war more than most people: his close friend Merlin killed his own nephew in a battle. When Taliesin fights, he kills terrifying numbers of people, maybe without full control (whether he's fully cognizant while he's using his powers is an interesting question which I won't get into right now). Perhaps that's why he doesn't interfere with others' adventures much: he is too powerful to do less harm than good for the people around him and for the narrative tension. Or maybe he just doesn't feel like it, or he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or they just don't want him there anymore, or his role as a teller of stories is more important than his role as a person in them. 

[viktorpartner]

✨ THE DAN AND PHIL LORE pt. 2✨

CHECK OUT PART 1: https://www.tumblr.com/ashleyeveerson/760695134744723456/the-dan-and-phil-lore-pp?source=share

Oh sweet 2015... A trip to Japan, which is dubed by DANIEL HOWELL HIMSELF as Japhan, leads to a fan theory in which Dan and Phil supposedly got married there which they talked about in a recent video i can't believe this is real. IN OTHER NEWS: The Amazing Book is Not on Fire is published and Dan and Phil go in their first tour ever!!! TATINOF is just ICONIC, just treat yourself and watch the musical number "The internet is here" THEY. TAP. DANCE.

The boys are touring worldwide which gives us very cute pictures of them holding koalas (awww). They also attend the Bronca in which they win EVERY PRIZE TOGETHER except "streamer of the year" which Phil won only to beckon Dan to get onstage so they could share it (THEY MAKE ME SICK). The iconic clip "Can Phil express an opinion?" is also born and Dan blesses our ears by dropping the rap of the century: ROAST YOURSELF CHALLENGE a month without uploading he comes back with a tag THAT NO ONE EVEN TAGED HIM ON

Things are changingggg... Dan ditches the "Dan is not on fire" name and brand of his channel to reflect the changes in his content. He then uploads "Dan and Depression", in which he opens up for the first time about his struggles with mental health (it's a great fucking video go watch it).

Phannies and Phil himself rejoice when Dan decides to embrace the hobbit hair and ditch the straightners (RIP the fringe). And as part of april fool's day a strange video named "Dan and Phil crafts" is uploaded to YT (idk what to say go watch it yourselves). THEY ALSO MOVED TO PHLAT 3 ON LONDON [which we would later discover were 2 separate flats; one to live in and one to record in] (some fans theorized about it before they confirmed idk ya'll scare me)

In 2018 they embark on their second tour "INTERACTIVE INTROVERTS" but the vibes in the channel all lead to the end of an era... Phil ditches the fringe (RIP), the final video of Dan vs Phil is recorded and the LAST AND 10th TATINOF gets uploaded. Now... the nostalgic vibes of this video, the love they have for their fans, the recreation of the first picture they ever took... YEAH THIS ONE ALWAYS MAKES ME SOB -- we enter the INDEFINITE HIATUS --

LOOK AT THEM :( something, something about despite everything, it's still you...

now we enter.... THE DARK AGES. Dan basically disappears from the internet while Phil keeps on uploading on his solo channel with no mention of him. So after everything, WHAT HAPPENED TO PHAN? DID WE GO TOO FAR AS A FANDOM? ARE WE THE BAD GUYS? Let's take a trip down Phandom history, shall we?

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So in the peak years of Dan and Phil uploading a VERY LARGE group had appeared on Tumblr which was soley focused on so called "EVIDENCE" of Phan being canon. Now... the problem being that using the term CANON with real people is problematic to say the least. The relationship speculation that had thrived on fictional tv shows such as Merlin, Supernatural or Sherlock was now being IMPOSED upon two very real people. NOT fictional characters, just two blokes with feelings and a right to privacy.

SO WHO GOT IT RIGHT?? was it the crazy theorists, did Dan and Phil share the sonic underwear, clothes and a bed? Or was it all a lie? A bad rumour? A comercial decision to get more money from the phans? well WHICH IS IT?

WHAT IS THE TRUTH? WE. WANT. ANSWERS.

...

YIKES! Turns out that there is no answer, because we as fans ARE NOT ENTITLED TO THE PRIVACY OF OUR IDOLS. We only deserve as much as Dan and Phil are comfortable and willing to share about their lives with us... Oh and Dan? He has something BIG to share

Yeah so, words can even begin to explain how much this video meant to myself and may others... For me it was the first video I ever saw of someone actually coming out on camera, it was a beacon of light, a promise that things CAN eventually get better and a very brave fucking thing for Dan to do. He gave hope to thousands of young people who were just as lost as he had once been, he became the representation he so desperately needed when he was just a depressed kid. Just, go watch it. It's wonderful, it's a masterpiece, it's funny and heartbreaking in equal parts and above all... it's SO authentically Dan.

So where does that lead us... Let's dissect the popularity of Phan shall we? A LOT OF FANS WERE JUST FETISHISING MEN FOR NO REASON, TRUE. But a lot of them were also queer and exploring their sexuality through the safety of a m/m pairing. Since historically most yuri was catered around men and hetero romance tended to objectify women, slash paring became a way for a lot of girls to explore sex and love. That is, within the safety of removing themselves completely from the pairing. Go read this article if you wanna know more about women's fascination with slash media: https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/why-women-love-slashfic

SO SURPRISE, WE ALL TURNED OUT TO BE QUEER!!! Like ofc there was a toxic side of it, but there were also a lot of queer kids who desperately searched for public figures they could relate to.

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Now a couple of edits before returning to the Phan timeline bc these slides turned out to be WAY heavier than intended: Look at my boy Dan look at him!!! Look at him showing those grippers, feeding a deer, going proudly to his first Gay Parade!!!

PHIL LESTER MY BELOVED... dan I can and will fight you on the title of Phil's num 1 trash he'd probably win who am i kidding he's so in love with this man istg

PART 3 RIGHT HERE: https://www.tumblr.com/ashleyeveerson/760714622028349440/the-dan-and-phil-lore-pt-2?source=share

[slitherpuffinstories]

drarry microfic (set in eighth year) ~ mixed signals

”You came.”

“I did.”

There’s a disturbance in the air, and the head and torso of Harry Potter appears right in front of him. Draco shakes his head in disbelief, doesn’t dare to let his own gaze linger at the other boy for too long. Harry’s wrists are exposed due to his sweater being one or two sizes too small, the moonlight shining through the window of the Astronomy Tower making his toned skin look almost pale. Somehow the sweater still looks baggy on him, making his wrists seem smaller than they are. Draco’s breath hitches when Harry awkwardly runs a hand over his neck and his sweater rides up, exposing a little bit of skin above his waistline.

Draco turns his attention to the floor.

“You fucking idiot. You absolute moron.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh, for Merlin’s- don’t be, Harry. Fuck. You’re just so stupid.”

“Thank you?” Harry laughs softly, and it sends a shiver down Draco’s spine. The familiarity of that laugh forces him to look back up, and he watches Harry carefully. Harry doesn’t hide the fact that he’s staring, too.

“You’re sending rather mixed signals, you know”, he says after a beat of silence, and Draco blinks stupidly.

“Says you”, he scoffs, and the way his voice breaks at the end might be what gives him away. Or perhaps Harry has memorised his every facial expression these last months, like how Draco knows Harry’s every frown, every smile, every laugh. What matters isn’t what gives him away. What matters is that Harry is approaching him. Slowly and carefully. Merlin knows how much Draco needs him not to be careful right now. He needs the Harry he knows.

“Says me.” Harry’s smile is unbelievably soft. Draco had no idea that a smile could break down within him what no insults or curses could. Who would have known that someone doesn’t have to be harsh and cruel to make Draco Malfoy feel things? Experience these odd little things called feelings?

“You can’t talk about mixed signals, Harry James Potter”, he says, his voice fragile enough to barely carry but strong enough not to break. That bloody beautiful name leaves his lips in a voice quiet enough to be silenced by his exhale, and his lips tremble before being pressed together. But he can’t stop the words now, and they force themselves out of his mouth like Harry keeps forcing himself back into Draco’s life time and time again. “I told you we’re done, didn’t I? I thought I made it pretty clear. Yet you’re here, stubborn as always, you git! What makes you think that our relationship is cancelled but our stargazing date is not?”

“You never said it was cancelled, love.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Oh, but I love seeing you flustered whenever I call you that, Draco. Look at you. Now who’s the one giving mixed signals? You can’t tell me I’m a git and that we’re done while blushing like crazy and refusing to look at me.”

“I can, and I did.”

“Hm. Cute.” Harry takes another step forward and lets his invisibility cloak fall to the floor. It’s draped over his shoes, making them vanish and creating the illusion that he’s floating a few inches above the floor. Draco feels like he is floating. He must be floating. Maybe the breakup did kill him, and that wasn’t just him imagining things, and now he’s a ghost doomed to haunt this very tower forever. The tower where he broke up with Harry beneath the stars. The tower where Harry is now back, where they’re both together again, and Harry is staring at him with stars in his eyes. That shine makes up for the lack of stars outside, and Draco doesn’t regret coming up here one bit, even though it’s cloudy and cold.

“Harry.”

“No, I didn’t come up here in a foolish attempt to win you back, Draco. I didn’t think you’d be here. After all, you broke up with me. I didn’t think there’d still be a date.”

“This isn’t a date.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

Draco can’t help but stare at the matte black mess that is Harry’s hair after he has just woken up. “The same as you, probably. Except I didn’t manage to fall asleep no matter how hard I tried, and you seem to have gotten at least a few minutes of sleep before you decided to take a late night stroll up here.”

Harry doesn’t ask him how he knows it, just nods gravelly. “I dreamt of you.”

“Hm. Cute.”

“Not quite, actually. I think I prefer the real version of you over dream-Draco. He’s quite cruel, you know. Not very cute when the person you love is yelling at you, telling you that you’re worthless and a fool for falling for him.”

“I’m sorry.”

There’s silence, and then Harry snorts. “Are you seriously apologising for your actions in my dreams right now, Draco?”

He blushes furiously and looks away. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“You fucking idiot. You absolute fucking mess of a person.”

And before Draco can process what’s going on, he’s being pulled into a tight hug. With his face full of unbrushed, black curls and a fist full of Gryffindor sweater, Draco can finally relax for the first time in days.

When they part many minutes later, the first thing Draco does is wipe the stupid tears out of his face with his sleeve, and he clears his throat awkwardly.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Draco.”

Once again the words come tumbling out of his mouth. “But what if it isn’t? What if dream-Draco was right, and you’re a fool for dreaming of me and wanting to be with me, and I’m a fool for wanting you? What if I am a fucking idiot? What if this—“ He gestures at his puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. “— is who I am? And what if real Draco is out to hurt you? Without even knowing it. What if I hurt you, hurt you by breaking up with you again of fear of hurting you, and what if I just aren’t good enough for you or right for you and what if—“

“How about I just cut you off right there?” Harry manages to put an end to the stream of words with one look. “There. Now that you’re done talking nonsense — because you are done, I hope? — what do you think about the two of us finally making that stargazing date happen? Like, right now?”

Draco can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Potter, did you even listen to anything I just said?”

“Indeed I did, and I came to the conclusion that it was all utter bullshit. I’m not saying your feelings are though, and we’re going to have to have a talk about all of that. But not right now. You’ll feel better after we do something else, something fun to get your mind off of the bullshit! Trust me!” Harry beams at him before taking Draco’s hand in his. “Stargazing it is!”

“Potter, there are no stars to gaze at.”

“What? Oh. Yeah, you seem to be right about that. Blimey. Well, Astronomy Tower and all, I guess that leaves us with one option then.” Draco can’t help but huff something that could be a laugh at the way Harry wiggles his eyebrows at him.

“Remind me again when and why I fell in love with you and your weirdness.”

“Remind me again if you’ve ever outright told me that you love me before?”

“I, er, I don’t think so. Sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

“Well, you can’t take it back now! This means you’re stuck with me forever, there is no escape!”

“Oh, the horror.”

~ the end ~

[eden-writes-stuff]

Christmas 1977

Tags: wolfstar, jegulus, marylily, bets, Christmas at the Potter's

It was probably the last Christmas they were going to spend together like this, so James was more than happy that they could manage to gather everyone.

Sirus and Regulus already lived with them anyway and Remus and Peter visiting was also mandatory. Of course, they had invited the girls. Mary and Lily - a happy couple since August - appeared on their door right before Dinner on the 24th, quickly followed by Marlene.

Euphemia loved having guests over. Especially James' friends. Although times were dark and a war could be declared any minute, James had set his mind to making these days happy days.

"Stop staring at me."

He blinked a few times, eyes focusing back in on Regulus. "Sorry, what were you saying?" "I was saying that you should stop staring at me." "But you're so pretty in this sweater." "It's ugly and if you say another thing about it I will strangle you with it."

James tried not to imagine it too hard. "But it's festive. And everyone else is wearing ugly Christmas sweaters as well, so you won't be the only one." Regulus stepped closer and fixed the gigantic tie on James' present-sweater.

"Wouldn't you rather be unwrapping me?", he grinned with a wink. Regulus' pale cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. "You know how that turned out the last time..."

It had been over a month since the... incident. At Sirius' birthday party, they both had ended up in the Marauder's dorm room, due to alcohol and years of built-up tension - at least on James' side. It was the birthday boy himself that had interrupted them, bursting through the door right as James' trousers dropped to the floor. Sirius hadn't looked at either of them for a week after that and neither of the two had mentioned it towards each other. Until now...

"I honestly didn't think it was that bad. Or bad at all. At least not until Sirius came into the picture..." Regulus bit his lip. Merlin, he wanted to kiss him so badly. How could anyone think clearly with this beautiful boy before them?!

Before Regulus could answer Sirius poked his head through the door. He obviously still hadn't learned his lesson. "You two coming down? Effie said dinner is ready."

James sighed quietly and nodded. Before he could follow him, Regulus grabbed his wrist. "I didn't think it was bad either. The part with you. It was nice." James was sure his heart was going to leap out of his chest any second. He wanted to jump and scream and do something incredibly stupid. Instead, he just grinned widely and took Regulus' hand into his own. The long fingers wrapped perfectly around his own.

"Come on. Don't wanna miss dinner", he smiled, softly pulling Regulus downstairs.

Eight pairs of eyes, all beautifully underlined by flashy Christmas sweaters, met them, then their hands. "Hand over those Galleons", Lily grinned. Everyone sighed, pulling coins out of their pockets.

"Whoa. We're not together", James interjected.

"But you're holding hands..." Mary pointed at their hands. James quickly let go. "So? You and Lily have been holding hands since first grade, but none of you fessed up until last summer. Moony and Sirius were sharing a bed in second and third year."

"Am I the only one who finds it irritating that you guys are placing bets on us?" "No, I'm with you on this." Peter raised his hand. "One sane person in this room."

"Liar. You were one of the first ones in." "And the first one out. Pete had way too much faith in you two." Insulted, Peter poked his tongue out. "This is still insanity. I didn't think this would go on that long. Remus thinks you guys won't make it until you're 25." Remus shrugged. "I'm just being realistic."

Regulus threw one of the bread rolls at him. Remus dodged it and immediately got ready to counterstrike. "Monty and Effie bet too!", he yelled, pointing at James' parents.

Everyone at the table gasped - except for Sirius, who seemed to simply enjoy the chaos.

"My own parents?!" "James, listen...", Monty started. "They pressured us!", Effie yelped, cheeks turning red, as always when someone caught her lying. "We did no such thing!" Mary clutched imaginary pearls around her neck.

"Yes, you did!", Monty defended his wife. "They kept on asking what we thought about it and eventually just cracked." "What was your guess?", James demanded. They shared a look before Effie took Monty's hand. "Two weeks around either one of you moving out."

James took a deep breath. It could have been worse. At least they didn't have an age limit to it. He shook his head and left the table, quickly followed by Regulus. He stopped on the front porch, where his breath turned to heavy smoke in the cold evening air.

"I wanna fuck with their bet!" Regulus crossed his arms. James raised an eyebrow and looked down at him. "And how would we do that?"

For a minute he considered before his eyes lit up with mischief. "Okay, hear me out. We let each of them walk in on us at a different point and then tell them that we've been secretly dating for however long we want to make it. That way each of them thinks someone else won." James nodded in understanding, turning the plan in his head.

"And most of them won't tell the others because then they'd have to admit that they lost. And the others we can just ask to keep quiet 'until we're ready' or something like that", he added, "It's brilliant!" They grinned at each other.

Carefully James moved closer. "And when would we actually get together?", he asked, voice low. "I think today is as good a day as any", Regulus murmured, eyes fixed on James' lips. A shiver went through him and before he could stop himself he was kissing Regulus.

Within the second he forgot all about the cold around them. Regulus was warm and soft and kissing him made everything in the world seem alright. He pulled him closer, arms wrapped around the smaller boy's waist.

When he felt Regulus' hands in his hair he was done for.

Behind them, someone cleared their throat.

Regulus wanted to jump back, but James held him close.

"Moony. What-" he cleared his throat, "whatcha doing here?" "Well, I thought that if I stayed here longer without saying something it would be weird." James nodded, agreeing.

"And how long have you been standing there?" "I know your plan." Well, there went that. But Regulus didn't give up that easily. "If you tell anyone I will gut you in your sleep." "Nah. You like me too much. Plus, Sirius would be pretty pissed at you." Regulus sighed, obviously regretting, having shown his emotions.

"I'll tell you one of Sirius' dirty secrets for every month that you don't tell anyone", James offered. Remus seemed to consider it. "One secret, plus a chocolate bar" "Done."

And without another word, Remus disappeared back inside.

In the end, the evening was all James could have wished for. They all were together and no one was even thinking of the war. Not even mentioning the gorgeous boy in his arms.

[thedaselcor]

Tiwasday, the 4th of October, 522

Will’s eyes traced slowly along the curves of Merlin’s body as he got dressed, pausing to watch Merlin lace the two sides of his undershirt tighter, and tighter.

“Why bother with all that? If you can change it with magic, I mean.”

“It’s just a backup,” Merlin explained, casting a soft glance and warm smile over his shoulder at Will before bringing his attention back to the mirror. “In case anything happens, I like to make sure I look as close to the same as possible without the magic.”

“In case what kind of anything happens? Do you go around falling unconscious a lot when I’m not looking?”

“Aren't you always looking?” Merlin teased, before adding, “it’s not really in case of anything, I just want to look as much like myself as possible. So,I keep my hair the same, I build the muscles, I wear the undershirt, and I only make subtle changes to my face no one but you and my mother would ever even notice… in case. ”

ɱ

It had seemed foolproof, back in Ealdor. Merlin had known who he was young enough that he’d been able to grow into his system without anyone really knowing. He changed little enough about his appearance with magic that someone would need to be exceptionally close, and pay exceptional attention to his face and general appearance to ever notice a change,even if the magic did fail him someday, somehow. 

Later that month, when Merlin’s mother sent him to Camelot, it seemed his secret was even safer. In Camelot he was going to be even more of a nobody, a physician's apprentice. Who would pay that close attention to a nobody ? Who in Camelot could possibly know his face well enough to notice the subtle changes if he was somehow rendered unconscious?

To Merlin’s credit, Arthur didn't notice the first few times. They’d actually known each other well over a year when the inevitable day finally came. 

Frigsday, the 29th of Martius, 524

Arthur burst into Gaius’s workshop, carrying Merlin, unconscious, in his arms. The storm raging inside him entirely overshadowed the practically apocalyptic storm of rain and lightning outside.

“He’s been stabbed. Poisoned, I think,” Arthur declared, panic beginning to creep into his voice as he neared the end of the clear series of actions he’d known he had to take to save Merlin. Action had always been easy for Arthur. The rest… not so much.

Gaius indicated Merlin’s room with a slight nod and a serious eyebrow, as he sprung into action and gathered the necessary medical supplies. Arthur followed the direction. Once he’d laid Merlin down he removed his shirt and cut the bottom of his undershirt to expose the quickly festering stab wound on his side. Then, he sat back, perched in worry but letting Gaius work.

ɱ

“I don’t think anyone else saw…” Arthur said, once Merlin seemed relatively stable, partly to Gaius, and partly to the empty space in front of him just to process the shock. “Anything interesting I mean, anything…” He sighed heavily before adding, “my father can never know about this.”

Gaius nodded, solemnly. “Not if you want Merlin to live, no,” he answered after a long pause. 

It was a testament to Gaius’s character that he didn’t bother to mention his own life also hung in the balance. Gaius had chosen to be so entirely devoted to Merlin’s care and protection since Hunith had sent the young sorcerer to him that his own part in the equation had long since lost all relevance. 

Arthur was acutely aware that he’d just made a very similar choice by bringing Merlin to Gaius for treatment, by choosing this of all possible paths. And yet, he couldn’t regret it, regardless of the legal and filial weight of his choice.

ɱ

Arthur sat with Merlin until dawn broke over Camelot, never sleeping, but he could stay no longer. For one thing, his duty as a prince had to come first, despite his world altering decision. For another, if he was absent much longer it would cause a panic, and a panic would bring nothing but pain down on Merlin and Gaius.

“If he wakes…when he wakes,”Arthur started, as he bid Gaius goodbye--but he couldn’t bring himself to actually form the feelings into words. Instead, he let out a sigh and settled on “I’ll have a list of duties ready for him, when he’s well.” Like the story so far? Check it out on Ao3!

[starrieisdelusional]

Must we really rely on fate?

a somewhat proper rambling of how i want bbc merlin plot to go (a fix it au)

Season 1 : The One They Call Emrys

Season 1 is going to stay as a light-hearted season to introduce the world of Merlin. The general plot stays the same with a few additions:

merlin shows doubt in gaius / kilgharrah decisions

the old religion is more apparent

Dragons and dragonlords aren’t extinct but very endangered

merlin empathizes with morgana but never decided to help her

introduction of elyan: he doesn't stay in camelot, opting to travel instead

Gwen's father didn’t die (To Kill a King never happened)

Nimueh didn't die

Morgause appears in the last episode

The Poisoned Chalice is going to be the season's finale (the episode where nimueh poisons merlin) as the climax of the season with higher stakes and it will be up to Arthur to save the day.

Season 2 : The Veils of Deceit

From here on out, the canon episodes becomes less relevant. As the title suggest, this season is more plot heavy. Uncovering hidden truths and digging deeper into the main cast's past:

the introduction of mordred: everyone loves him except for merlin, and by i mean everyone, i mean, gwen, arthur, morgana, leon, anyone you can think of, he is a lot more involved in the show than just appearing for 3 episodes

introduction of balinor on the first episode

balinor acts as merlin's mentor figure for this season and their meeting goes something like this (balinor: ...you can speak to dragons...? merlin: is that not common or something?)

balinor meets hunnith

merlin doesn't know balinor is his father until it's too late

ygraine situation happened exactly as it is in the show

ygraine acts sort of like a guardian angel of arthur but unable to fully communicate with him

Arthur has started getting skeptical towards uther.

Arthur-centric episodes: there should at least be one episode where the main lead is Arthur instead of Merlin (example: arthur's POV when merlin is at the tavern)

morgana finds out about her origins

Introduction of Percival and Gwaine

merthur kissed (they never talked about it because they're depressing like that)

dragonlords in this au are going to be a bit different than dragonlords in canon. Instead of controlling dragons, dragonlords and dragons build mutual respect.

As the season progress, kilgharrah lost hope of merlin and decided to turn to nimueh instead. Nimueh attacked the castle with kilgharrah but they lost with the exchange of balinor's life. In this battle Merlin finally acquire his dragonlord powers.

After the battle, it is shown that Morgana has joined side with Morgause. Kilgharrah has joined her too, dissapointed at Nimueh's failure.

Season 3 : The Collapse of Uther

Season 3 follows the canon premise: morgana's corruption and uther's end:

aithusa is born (everyone adores her)

aggravaine appears as a minor character in an episode

morgwen romance

nimueh isn't really active now that morgause is taking control of things and decided to leave it up to her even if she doesn't like her

nimueh warns kilgharrah about morgause

In this AU, morgana's goal is to only get magic legalized in camelot, and the season portrays those attempts. She plans to keep everyone out of it.

But as the season progresses Morgana is getting more and more agitated at arthur's complacency, especially after gwen's father's death. Her irritation is further amplified after she found out that she's uther's bastard daughter.

She felt especially betrayed when she found out that Merlin is the legendary Emrys and he decided to do nothing for them, opting to stay to uther's side.

Following all of this, Morgana ratted Merlin out to the entire court. This goes on a back and forth with Arthur getting Merlin out of jail (he still doesn’t believe Merlin has magic) and Morgause attacking citadel.

At the end, Morgause forces Merlin to kill uther with his magic to save arthur’s life. Betrayed, Arthur banned Merlin from Camelot.

Season 4: Darkness Before Dawn

Season 4 is set about 1 year after uther’s death and the start of arthur’s journey to find out what it means to be king. S4 will went back and forth in time, switching between the present and the following events that happened:

even if merlin is ‘gone’, he actually stays in camelot, protecting the kingdom, out of arthur’s sight (this often shows in assassins showing up dead or citadel having so much harvest and resources they don’t know what to do with it)

everyone decided to ignores this

the roundtable is established

mordred becomes a knight

morgana has separated from morgause

morgana was furious at what morgause did at the finale of season three. she never wanted uther to die and didn’t want merlin to get banned. Morgana thinks arthur is not ready to be king

Kilgharrah stayed with morgause longer than morgana did until he realized that morgause is dangerous but got enslaved by her

Merlin later saves him

Morgause is now working with aggravaine who becomes one of the nobles at the house of pendragon

Aggravaine wants to take the throne from arthur and much more evil and manipulative

Aggravaine is court advisor

S4 is explores more political stuff in albion ( in depth look at other kingdoms, their thoughts on sorcery, etc etc)

merlin lives with morgana, aithusa, and kilgharrah in the woods. They made truce with each other

cendred is introduced and is working together with morgause and aggravaine

nimueh becomes merlin's mentor figure and occasionally visits him and morgana

(i’m considering to make this blank period of season 3 and 4 into a new season considering how much happened 😭)

In early episodes, there was a time where Merlin’s magic disappeared for days. Arthur got restless and decided to scout him out as a kid by drinking a youth potion that Gaius gave him.

Arthur found Merlin injured and tend to his injuries. Morgana found them days after. To stay with them, arthur keeps the pretends of being a stupid kid who visits morgana and merlin occasionally while trying to balance his life in the kingdom as king.

Gwen founds out about all of this from Gaius and drink an aging potion, disguising herself as kid arthur’s grandma so merlin and morgana wouldn’t get too suspicious. The knights are in the know and covers for Gwen and Arthur disappearance.

Arthur gets less and less involved with the throne, disappearing, falling asleep in meetings, more often than not Aggravaine has to stepped in to replace him. The court is displeased with Arthur, especially because he made choices that they considered are too soft.

Aggravaine manage to manipulate the court into favoring him and takes the throne from Arthur through majority votes. Declaring himself as king.

An assassination attempt is made on Aggravaine and he declares Arthur guilty, having an excuse to sentence him to death, he sends Arthur to be executed. Merlin with a few other people helped him escape, making them an enemy to Camelot.

Season 5: The Weight of a Crown

S5 is set right after S4 with aggravaine as king and the main cast live together in morgana and merlin's cottage:

aggravaine legalized magic

aggravaine made morgause a noble in the royal court

aggravaine ruled as a tyrant, letting magic thrive with him

arthur reconsile with merlin and morgana

ealdor's massacre: aggravaine attacked ealdor in order to find merlin and in this event, hunnith dies, along with everyone in the village

gaius dies

arthur didn't do anything in the beginning because he genuinely thinks that his uncle is the perfect candidate for a king. With magic also legalized, there's nothing left he needed to do.

Arthur will eventually see that Aggravaine's rule brings nothing but misery. He went on a journey to obtain excalibur and took the throne back from him. Morgause has managed to escape once again.

Season 6: The Once and Future Kingdom

s6 is a somewhat epilogue and wraps up loose ends with the main cast set in the following positions in the House of Pendragon:

Arthur: King

Merlin: Court Dragonlord, Court Physician, and Consort

Gwen: Court Advisor or Head of the house

Morgana: Court Sorceress

Aithusa: Court Dragon

Mordred: Heir to throne

these are some things that happened:

merthur got MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

merlin got a staff from arthur

camelot allied with the druids

we'll get to know more about morgause past

As the main cast live their happily ever after, the threat hasn't completely been eradicated with morgause on the loose and aggravaine still alive in the dungeons. The final villain for this story will be the triple goddess / destiny themselves that wants the prophecy of Arthur sleeping in Avalon for 2000 years to come true because that's how it supposed to go but merlin and arthur managed to rewrite their story

THE END!!!!!!!!! (some things to be changed)

===========================================

To find all my other ramblings about this AU, click the links below or filter with the hashtag #must we really rely on fate?

AU Outline:

Additional Links:

Old Masterlist

Why Merlin isn't Queen / King / Court Sorcerer / Court Advisor

Merthur Reunion (now discarded)

Magic Reveal Aftermath (will be updated on a new post)