#excellent triangle head

[canisalbus]

i found out the type of dog Machete is - the same sort of mutt as my friends' dog, Aysel! (photo shared with permission)

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[3gremlins]

congrats, bungie, this is by far the most disturbing hallway "duct" system you've ever made my guardian crawl through

[nereidprinc3ss]

lava lamp

in which spencer reid comforts gn!reader when you find yourself contending with a sudden bout of depression

fluff

warnings/tags: established relationship, reader has depression, task paralysis, spencer reid can't cure your depression but he sure can't make it worse

a/n: this is most definitely not inspired by the pink lava lamp in my room. it has nothing to do with that. extremely short and sweet, WC <800

The room is awash in hot pink. 

It’s interrupted only by dark shadows cutting lines across the floor and the furniture. The blinds are down over the window so moonlight can’t seep in—assuming the moon is in fact out now. You’re not actually sure. You don’t know how long you’ve been lying here like this, studying the soft glow of the lava lamp where it sits on the bedside table, watching the blobs of orange separate and conjoin and float around each other like they’re dancing in the suspending liquid. 

The sound of keys in the front door, of it scuffing against the floor as it opens and squeaking shut and the lock clicking back into place, inspire the tiniest spark of joy inside you. For a few moments you remain in solitude—listening to the sounds of the kitchen sink running as Spencer washes his hands, a glass being set down on the counter, the soft rustle of fabric on fabric as he takes his coat off. Maybe you have really excellent hearing. Maybe you’re just imagining the sounds because you’re so familiar with his post-work rituals. 

Finally the bedroom door opens, catching your legs in a triangle of yellow light, and sounds cease—Spencer is surely standing in the doorway, surely surprised to find you sprawled on the bed, staring vacantly at the lamp you’d purchased last winter from an antique shop. 

The door closes again, encasing you in an amnion of pink warmth once more. 

“Hi,” he says, quietly enough. 

You don’t respond. Not for a lack of affection. Just for a lack of energy, really. Spencer is used to you, and he doesn’t let your heavy mood stop him from moving to sit on the mattress behind you. The heat of his hand is a comforting weight as it finds your back, slowly rubbing up and down. There is always so much love in the way he touches you. 

“How’re you feeling, honey?”

A quiet moment passes in which you’re gathering the energy to speak for the first time in hours. Spencer doesn’t rush you. 

“Tired.”

More quiet. 

“What kind of tired?”

But he knows what kind of tired. 

“I tried to fold laundry,” you mumble, lacking even the gumption to move your mouth much as you speak. You tap the laundry basket with your toe where it sits on the foot of the bed. The laundry inside remains very much unfolded. 

“I can handle it.”

If you had any more vitality you’d say, you shouldn’t have to, you just got home from a full day’s work, I’ll take care of it—but the truth is, you can’t handle it and you can’t take care of anything—not even yourself. All you can do is watch orange bubbles float in radioactive pink liquid. 

“I don’t know what happened,” you whisper. A few tears take you by surprise as they roll down over the bridge of your nose, though your face remains stony. “I’ve been here for hours.”

Spencer’s hand remains steadfast on your back and you wish you could express how grateful you are for it and for him and for his gentle voice, always. 

“Maybe nothing happened. Maybe some days are just hard.”

You sniffle. The answer is unsatisfying, but so is life, sometimes. And you know he’s right. 

“Yeah.”

Time passes. A few minutes, maybe, of listening to your own ears ring, to the haunting frequency of the old building, of the upstairs neighbors walking around and snatches of music coming from cars on the streets below. 

“You know, I sometimes have days where I just want to lie down and stare at the lava lamp too. I think a lot of people feel that way.”

You turn your head just slightly and finally see him, cast in the soft lambent glow, smiling down at you in that unconscious, serene way, that is little more than a curve of his lip. Just seeing his face makes something in your chest unclench.  

“Really?”

The soft arch of his smile flickers momentarily wider. 

“Metaphorically speaking.”

He’s perfect. 

You reach over your own waist to grab his hand, and he interlocks your fingers, running his thumb over yours. 

Spencer knows it, but you tell him anyway. “I love you.”

He leans down and kisses you, so softly it’s like medicine. 

You know it, but Spencer says it back anyway, sweetly against your lips, heads pressed together. “I love you.”

And you much prefer this view to the lava lamp. 

[hedgehog-moss]

My self-imposed chore for today was to clean the donkey's shelter + 1/4th of the pasture, use the most composted manure that's basically already soil for my potato growing bags, and use the rest to shut down (and fertilise) one of the llamas' bathtubs.

See, the llamas dig these grassless circles with their pointy camelid nails so they can dustbathe like giant gerbils to keep parasites away. I fully accept that it is a healthy and normal llama behaviour but I wish they'd dig one bathtub and stick to it. Instead, every few months they abandon their bathtub and go dig a new one, and never seem to wonder how the sterile moon craters they leave behind end up magically fertile and grassy again.

It's not magic! It's me. I keep moving your (excellent, nutritious, full of plant seeds) poop from one spot to the other so the pasture doesn't become a polka-dotted graveyard of former bathtubs. I understand that if you were wild llamas you would abandon the bathtub and not return for months or years so grass would have time to grow back (I have read Pampe's 600-page manifesto on the health & environmental benefits of wild roaming), but surely you could notice your habitat has changed, and change your behaviour accordingly.

Use your abandoned bathtubs as latrines, for example, so I no longer have to move the poop where it is needed. Or at the very least set up your latrines uphill from the bathtubs? so I can push my extremely heavy wheelbarrows of manure down the slope? 🙏 There are options.

(In the foreground of this video you can see a former bathtub that was covered in manure a few months ago and has begun to heal, and in the background, Pampy happily starting a new one.)

Another thing: there is no need to act like I'm committing a crime when I cover an abandoned bathtub with manure. I only do it once I'm sure everyone has moved on from this one and yet it often prompts Pampelune (Bathtub Administrator) to start digging several new ones like she's convinced I have been gripped by a mindless bathtub-confiscating frenzy and if she doesn't outpace me she'll never get to feel the soft caress of dirt on her wool again.

Sometimes it even triggers protest movements.

Not really—I thought this was a protest involving a lie-in, or maybe a lock-on. In a complex triangle formation around the terminated bathtub (and I was going to say, that's not how this works. You're supposed to glue yourself to the ground of your bathtub to obstruct my work and refuse to budge even when I start shovelling manure on your heads. Protesting after the fact and from a safe distance is pointless and performative)—but then I realised my interpretation was clearly wrong. This was a llama mourning rite to honour last summer's bathtub, and the triangle symbolism simply represents the three stages of life, and the fact that everything, even beloved dust bathing spots, has a beginning, heyday, and end.

[mordredsheart]

disney villains ranked by how good they would be as a toxic romantasy love interest

10. gaston. make no mistake, he ranks highly in toxicity, and would no doubt excel in one of those romance novels about douchebros reenacting the most dangerous game with nondescript brunettes. but there’s simply no way he can hold his own against the faeries and monsters and sorcerers you’ll meet in chapter three.

09. hades. lord of the underworld is a fantastic gig, but i personally feel that his reliance upon comedy and snark somewhat undercuts the promising menace of him shouting that he owns you. he’d make a real charmer of a sidequest flirtation, though, if you survive it.

08. captain hook. manipulation is the bread and butter of your common or garden toxic romantasy love interest, and we all saw the way he played poor tinker bell. it ruled. do me next. extra credit for an underplayed tragic immortal angle (hey, he’s stuck in neverland, too!) and being figuratively and literally haunted by his own doom.

07. shan yu. for a villain with limited screentime he really has a way of setting the imagination aglow. what if your village was razed by a warlord and you ended up encountering him repeatedly in battle and for all the casually contemptuous evil he’s previously displayed he faced you with respect as an equal (and he *remembered* you) and oh no he’s hot. what then. he also gets bonus points because i think they made his hawk a beautiful lady shapeshifter in the live-action movie. two for the price of one.

06. the evil queen. she sets a high bar for unhealthy obsession, and “mad scientist” is an underrepresented flavor in this genre, plus the magic mirror has a lot of creepyhot stalking potential. she’s pretty high-maintenance, though, and her vanity simply wouldn’t allow your heroic quest and/or the other corner of the love triangle to share the spotlight with her. she might be better off as a supporting character in the deadly decadent court who calls you menacing endearments and strokes your face and gives you the feeling that you’re suddenly in way over your head.

05. frollo. oh, i hear you gnashing your teeth and wringing your hands. “not frollo!” yes frollo. if i was reading a romantasy novel and the villain told the protagonist that they were just imagining a rope around her beautiful neck, i would feel ripped off if they weren’t at *least* furiously making out in secret by the climax. your conscience may demur, but who hasn’t secretly yearned to have a city burned to the ground over them?

04. mor’du. who? you know mor’du. the big fuckoff bear from brave. the big fuckoff bear who once was a brooding, hulking celtic prince who massacred his whole family and underwent a devastating transformation-by-curse into a literal monster. it’s only his sheer bad luck that he ended up as a minor character in a heartwarming mother-daughter narrative and not the villain protagonist of a romantasy that’s half beauty and the beast and half texas chain saw massacre. but, with your help, we can change that.

03. jafar. he doesn’t rank more highly because it’s less fun when they’re only creepy to you and obsessed with you for, like, five minutes at the end, but still. he pulls it off *so* well, he’s got just the right kind of megalomaniac agenda, and he gets extra credit for style and the hypnosis thing. cue the agonizing yet erotic internal monologues from our protagonist about how he *compels* them.

02. TIE! between two gentlemen who operate on very similar levels of charming toxicity and would therefore thrive in this setting:

hans. it’s honestly a shame he’s in a disney children’s movie and not a five hundred page novel called a realm of ice and snow or whatever. he would not only be endgame but he would also have a small army of booktokers calling our protagonist names for doubting his love for them after one eensy little lying to them and leaving them to die incident. he’d be exactly as awful as he is canonically and he’d come out smelling like a rose.

dr. facilier. the *perfect* balance of tragic backstory versus inexcusable jackassery, and no one is immune to the charms of a roguish magician dabbling in that which he should not. he’ll sell you the prettiest vision of a future together that you ever did see, and then he’ll sell you out to evil forces to further his personal agenda, and he will not be sorry about it. he’ll call you doll while draining every drop of your blood for The Ritual and he won’t lose a wink of sleep. no romantic groveling apology from this one, either, i’m afraid. but he’d be so worth it.

01. maleficent. evil sexy faery who lives on something called the forbidden mountain, who devoted sixteen years of her life to tormenting a beautiful peasant with a secret royal lineage, up to and including kidnapping the “correct” love interest to prevent them from saving our protagonist from her own wicked plans? if there *isn’t* already a romantasy novel out in the world that is blatant aurora/maleficent fic, i will eat my hat.

honorable mentions:

rasputin. sure, he’s only a disney villain by technicality. but what romantasy protagonist worth their salt would kick the rotting lich-priest who murdered their whole family, and is trying to murder them, out of bed on a technicality?

bruno madrigal, who wasn’t a villain at all, but by gods he should have been. secret uncle who lives in the walls and is tragically haunted by your seemingly immutable shared fate *and* you’re his *favorite*? the gothic romantasy fans would devour him.

[secret-smut-sideblog]

Unpunishable

Astarion x F! Tav

(Girl Talk part 4, can be read alone)

18+ love triangle dynamics, possessiveness, blood drinking, tav being a menace, dom/brat, angry sex, power play, fingering (f!), mild restraint, spanking, spitting, p-in-v, prostate orgasm, some silly fun at the end

After Karlach spent the night with Tav, Astarion is feeling very normal about it. So normal that he needs her in his tent all night. Just to feed, he swears...

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

-

"You can feed from me tonight, if you'd like."

Her words were sweet, alluring. He knew he should express gratefully, but he was tight. Breathing through his nose.

"I'll see you tonight, then." He intoned in his best pantomime of casual.

Pretending he didn't see her emerge from Karlach's tent this morning. That he didn't go back to his tent to scream into his pillow.

Oh gods, no, no. Why had he waited?

Well, he knew. Fate had aligned against him, like it always does. He had planned to tell her, he truly had. But then she had nearly drowned. By his own idiotic actions, to boot.

Some god truly had a vendetta against him, he just wasn't sure which.

He tried to reassure himself, watching her mill around camp, it didn't appear they were together. Yet, anyway. They exchanged sly glances but beyond that their chatter was relatively the same.

Maybe he still had a chance.

Oh who was he kidding, it's Karlach. He's done for.

No. No, he couldn't give up.

Tonight, he had her for tonight.

Watched as her long legs kicked out in front of her as she sat down, leaning conspiratorial to whisper something in Shadowheart's ear. Saw the cleric's cheeks go red.

Feeling his eyes she glanced up, smiling cat-like at him. Pulling her hair over her shoulder. Tipping her head back slightly, beckoning him.

Gods below, he was in over his head.

Her face smeared with a smile, arms coming up. Arcane power pulsing wicked through her. "Umbra!"

Their enemies were swallowed in darkness. A flash of red hair as she dove in. The sounds of thrashing death from the darkness.

He pulled his focus back to the light, firing down on those on the outskirts. Pointedly ignoring the sounds of her viciously tearing into bodies.

He had asked before why she could still see in her spell.

"Ironic, isn't it?" She had laughed, pointing to her demonic eyes. "The blind leading the blind, truly. Well, previously blind. It's the Devil's Sight." Leaning on her hip, flourishing with her fingers. "What can I say, I'm thorough. I intended to never be without sight again, and I meant it."

He knew it went deeper than that, if her reaction to Volo's "help" was any indication.

When he had pulled a needle from his pack she grabbed his wrist tightly. Her normally charismatic eyes tight with icy rage. Sitting up.

"You are not putting that in my eye." Her voice a hiss, grip tightening.

Volo had flinched, endless apologetic words flowing from his mouth.

She had reminded him of their other Drow, Minthara, in that moment. Could see the same cold controlled anger in her. He understood why they were close. Both Drow nobility. Both raised with the same frigid hand.

The more he got to know about her, the deeper the rabbit hole went.

Now, their enemies were felled and he let out a relieved sigh. They had gotten into a powerful rhythm of combat, all knowing their role and executing it well. But that didn't guarantee victory.

She emerged from the dark, absolutely soaked in blood. Shaking the excess off of her blade with a flick of her wrist. Her usually neatly pinned hair falling out of its plaits. Chest huffing with exertion.

Gods below spare him.

"Call off?" She shouted, eyes scanning.

Since she fought almost entirely in darkness, she usually didn't know how the others had fared. So they worked out a system.

"Aye!" Karlach called cheerfully.

"Aye!" Minthara growled, pulling her greataxe out of a body with a grunt.

"Aye!" He called, more breathily than he meant to.

She smiled at him. "Excellent. Good job, all. Though I had no doubts."

"Minthara, check for injuries. Karlach, take account of the dead, throw any scrolls to me. Astarion, help me with this locked chest."

He let out a great sigh, pretending to be put upon.

She leaned into his play, looking at him with great pleading eyes. "Astarion, pleaaase~"

He could never tell her how shockingly effective that was on him.

"Alright, you child. Step aside." She laughed, stepping away with a flourish of her hand.

He crouched down, taking out his tools with sure hands. Beginning his ministrations.

"You know," He jumped at her voice in his ear, her warm body crouched behind his. "You make this look so easy, surely it must be harder?"

He resisted the shiver that sat at the bottom of his spine. Her velvet voice directly in his ear.

Of course she was still drenched in blood. She knew what she was doing, the she-devil.

"I assure you, it's difficult for most." He huffed, focusing back on his work.

"Hmm, do you think I could do it if I practiced?" She murmured, he could hear the smile in her voice. "I've been known to have very nimble fingers."

He nearly dropped his tools. Memories of their first night assaulting his mind. Regained composure.

"I'm sure you'd make a fine locksmith, darling. Now if you don't mind." His voice was snippy, irritation thinly veiling his arousal.

Always teasing him. Gods he wanted to push her against a wall.

Shook his head slightly. No. Less of those thoughts. Focus.

"Oh, you're no fun today." She giggled, rising to feet. He immediately felt the absence of her body.

"Prickly, I'll have to watch that I don't nick myself." At the word nick, she waved her wrist past his face as she passed. Rejoining their companions with a look at him over her shoulder.

Oh he was going to take her apart tonight.

He paced in his tent. So many emotions crashing around inside him. Longing, fear, anger, desire. And the one that surprised him the most; possession. That had been at the forefront of his mind shockingly often.

He wanted her. Badly. And he wanted her to himself.

He had a great fondness in his heart for Karlach but if it came down to it, he wanted it to be him.

Rest assured, he wouldn't go down without a fight, and he didn't fight fairly.

The flap of his tent lifted slightly, her white eyes asking for entry.

"There you are." He purred as she stepped inside.

She tied down the fabric. The universal sign of do not disturb.

Oh?

His dead heart raced a little.

"Well, are we planning for more than a feeding tonight?" He stepped closer, smirking.

She pulled the pins in her hair, kicking off her boots. Shaking her head, her red hair fell and bounced down to the base of her spine. Her eyes cutting up to his.

Hells below it wasn't fair.

"If you play your cards right. Now help me with my armor."

He stepped forward and she turned her back to him. Pulling her hair away for him.. His quick fingers went to work on the buckle on her shoulder.

The smell of her well-oiled leather breastplate, the blood still caught in its creases. The oils in her hair, something sweet. Appleblossom.

"...Are you smelling me?"

He sputtered, heat rushing to his neck. "Certainly not. Gods."

He saw contained laughter in her shoulders as he lifted her breastplate off. She sighed in relief, stretching.

"I don't mind." She turned her head slightly, winking at him. "I'm sure your keen senses tell you a lot. Don't they?"

She stepped back into him, sliding her head into the side of his face.

He leaned in then, giving in completely. Eyes closing, breathing in like she was the most enthralling perfume. If he could bottle it, he would wear it on his wrist.

His hands came up to pull at her hair, nuzzling down into the curve of her neck. A small moan in his throat. Exquisite.

She kicked off the last of her armor, now in her damp underclothes, still sweaty from their fight earlier that day. Her musk coming to swirl into the heady bouquet.

"How do you want me?" She asked, sighing and leaning her head back.

That question send a quick shock of pleasure into his already hard cock.

"Down. Down with me." He pushed on the back of her knees with his own.

She kneeled down with him, straddling around her back. Pressing his erection hard into her lower back. Making his intentions clear.

This was the first time he had taken charge between them and it sent a delicious thrill up his spine.

He bit down into her with a groan. Pulling her into his throat in pulses. Her taste sending his eyes into the back of his head. He would never get used to it.

Her little sighing whimper stroking down his cock.

He latched on harder with a growl, his frustration brought to the surface again. How many times did he have to bite her to make it clear that she was his to the others?

His.

That she felt the need to seek out other bodies. Oh he would make her certain that she needn't do that tonight.

He pulled off with great effort, laving his tongue obscenely up her neck. They had more pressing matters to attend to.

"So I couldn't help but notice," He started, fingers trailing up her arm. "That you spent the night with our sweet Karlach."

"I did." She agreed, pushing her ass back into him cheekily. Subtly moving her hips up and down. "Do you have any feelings about that you'd like to share?"

He expected her to deny it, to get flustered. He should know better by now.

Gods below, he wished he could warn that idiot on the beach that he was about to walk into the vipers' den.

"Feelings?" He intoned, playing up for time.

"Mhm," She hummed, reaching up and playing with his ear. Her skilled hands pulling, the sensitive skin betraying him. He stifled a moan.

"Would you have liked to join?" She smiled, giving a little tug.

The band of frustration snapped inside him. Catching her wrist into his hand.

She gasped and he could smell a new wave of arousal rising from her.

"No. I did not." He growled.

"As a matter of fact," He hissed, pulling her hair in his fist. Her neck bending open to him. "I was not pleased to see that at all."

She moaned, arching her back. "No?" Her voice coming out hot. "Not into sharing?"

He reached around her front. Pulling her chest wrappings off in a harsh flick of his wrist. Falling away into her lap.

"Not even a little, darling." He warned, directly into her ear.

Fingers twisting her peak. "I intend to make you mine."

She shivered, much to his delight.

"Prove it." She hissed, turning her head just enough to look in his eyes. That devilish smile on the edge of her lips.

He shoved the space between her shoulder blades, pushing her face down into his pillow. Hiking her hips up.

She groaned, then laughed. Laughed.

He growled, pulling her underclothes down roughly. His hand snapping hard down on her ass.

She mewled, burying her face in his pillow.

Oh now we're getting somewhere.

He struck the reddening skin again, the crack of his hand hanging in the air. Seeing the wetness start to drip down her cunt.

"You evil little thing." He chided. "Are you going to be good?"

She hooked her legs around his knees, pulling him off balance for fun.

"Hmm, I'll consider it." She mused.

He reached around her front, fingers circling against her clit, other hand pushing two fingers inside her. Fast and angry. She moaned, pushing her hips into him.

"You'll consider it..." He repeated, goading in his voice.

He thought about how she had him in the same position not long ago. Felt a thrill of fresh arousal fire down his cock.

He blurred his hands against her clit, curling his fingers and slamming inside her.

She arched her back up like a cat, her hands held out to balance her curling. Little choppy breaths.

"Astarion," She moaned, nearly whimpering.

Oh that was doing it for him. Pre-cum pooling in his leathers.

"Say my name again, or I stop."

She hit her fist against the ground in frustration, not wanting to give in. He smiled wide. Oh, he could get her to play his game by the rules.

His hands started to slow in warning.

"Astarion!" She whined, incredulous. That same tone when she asked for help earlier.

He started back up again dutifully. Her shooting daggers at him. Giving her a smug preening smile.

She was rocking back into him, sweet little urgent moans pushing out of her. He loved to hear her sing for him. Him and only him.

"Tell me you'll only make these sounds for me." He leaned forward into her ear.

"Is that what you want?" She panted, hand coming up to cup his head.

"Yes." He bit at her ear. Hands punishing.

"Swear it."

She panted, nearly there. The smell of her blood burning with heat.

"I swear. Now fuck me like you hate me."

He groaned, his cock throbbing against her backside. Suddenly remembering that she had never taken a man before. His arousal doubling.

He released his cock from its painful cage. Lining up to her with as much restraint as he could muster.

Planted a hand on her lower back. His cock steadying at her entrance.

"Hold on, darling."

She slammed back, sheathing herself on him to the hilt. He groaned, nearly buckling over.

Gods below, she was going to kill him.

"All out of venom?" She teased.

"Do I need to gag you?" He held her hips harshly, restraining her. Rolling into her at a punishingly slow pace.

"You can try." She moaned, gripping his length. Clenching down around him in pulses. The languid pace making her shake.

He gripped down on her hair again, fisting it at her scalp. Pulling her head back.

Saw her smile, eyes closing in pleasure. Hips meeting his in rhythm. Finally giving in to him.

But he wasn't done with her.

He leaned over her back. "Look at me."

She opened her eyes, those haunting white eyes. Filled with desire for him, pupils blown wide.

"Open your mouth."

She looked surprised but obliged dutifully. Those perfect plush lips falling open.

He spat into her mouth.

He saw her eyes hitch back, clenching down hard around him. Knew her orgasm was close behind.

He said her name sharply as he slammed into her, pulling her hair again. "You look at me while I fuck you through this."

She nodded, swallowing his spit. Face flushed.

Gods now he could barely keep his eyes open.

Her face cringed in what looked like pain. Eyebrows knitting together. Keeping her eyes open with what looked like great effort.

"Oh Gods," She whined, as the first contractions hit.

He focused on keeping pace but it was a futile effort. Her cunt taking him at the rapid pace of her undoing.

He felt his own face screw up in pleasure. Her eyes still locked on his.

Whimpering and begging moans pushing through her. Body shaking against him deeply.

"Please come, Astarion." She urged, her voice so sweet.

He could hold off no longer. Hearing his name said like that again the match striking to the powder keg.

His pelvis contracting in vicious pulses. His body remembering her pleasures had activated his prostate without touch. Those same hard tremors shooting through him. He spilled inside her in unbearable pulses. He bit down on his arm to not scream. Coming so hard he saw stars, and then coming more after that. Unable to maintain eye contact anymore, his rolling back into his head.

"Oh Gods. Fuck." He groaned into the muffle of his bloody arm. The pleasure finally winding down.

She squeezed his thigh reassuringly as she panted, head fallen into the pillow.

He pulled out of her slowly. Groaning at the obscene amount of his spend pouring down her backside.

Gods he didn't know he had that much.

He grabbed a cloth and wiped it away from her. Though he would love to stare at it for hours.

"Oh thank you," She purred tiredly, smiling at him. "What a gentleman."

She sat back on wobbly legs, reaching for her clothes.

He grabbed her wrist.

"What are you doing, darling?"

"Getting dressed." She said simply. Looking at him confused. "Don't worry you'll be free of me soon." She said easily.

Gods below how did she still think he didn't want her.

He pulled her into a searing kiss.

She squeaked in surprise.

"I Don't."

Bite.

"Want you."

Bite.

"To leave."

She moaned quietly into his mouth, wrapping her legs around his back.

"You're sure?" She asked, eyes soft. Melting him through.

"For the love of... yes!" He admonished, to her little smile. Biting her lip.

Blushing.

He never thought he would see the day.

"So you want to be my boooyfriend~"

"Oh Gods, I'm regretting this already."

"You liiiiike me~"

"Yes, you demon." He grabbed at her waist, biting at her playfully.

She squealed out a laugh. Trying to get away. "No biting! No biting!"

"A little late for that, don't you think?" He laughed. Digging his fingers into her sides to reignited laughter. Wiggling to get away.

"No! I'm ticklish!"

"Oh, you've made a grave mistake, admitting that." He leaned down and nipped at her sides.

He smiled evilly at her hands shoving his head, her mouth open wide in a gasping laugh.

He could get used to this.

~

(okay I think this is the last one of these, I hadn't planned to make this a series but the gods of smut took my hand. thank ya'll for all the feedback on this series!!!)

[kykyonthemoon]

Bittersweet

A girl. Two moons. Revolving.

── .✦ Xavier x MC (Reader) x Rafayel

── .✦ Tags: high school AU, love triangle, open ending with a bit sadness, light angst, female reader, no y/n, inspired by music

── .✦ Word count: 1k4

── .✦ Ky Ky's notes: This fic was inspired by the song Bittersweet (WONWOO X MINGYU ft. Lee Hi).

Requested anonymously.

── .✦ Masterlist ♡ Request a fic - closed for the time being.

"I'm leaving."

The girl's voice echoed in the wind on the vacant hill. The sky above was filled with innumerable stars. Raising her hands high, she was trying to hold them back for herself. This sky. This place. This friendship.

The two boys stood close to her yet a step apart, exchanged short glances before returning their focus to her.

"I've decided to study abroad."

That was all. She called them both to their regular meeting place, and the three of them raced up the hill. That place held the memories of all three.

Back in high school, they used to sprint up the hill after school to watch the sunset. She alone, and two moons. Ones who chased and one who ran. It had been more than three years since.

"Xavier. Here you go.

The girl handed out a bottle of filtered water to Xavier. He accepted it, his other hand carrying a clean towel to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

"Thank you."

She grinned. At that time, a group of other female students walked by, covertly looking at Xavier and then giggling at each other.

"Look how famous our class president is." She said with a bit of teasing. "You excel at studies and know how to play sports. How many love letters have you received since the start of the year?"

"What nonsense are you talking about?" Xavier responded. He stared at the girl in front of him, who was smiling and teasing him. She was as bright as if all the warm sunshine in the world was gathered in her smile.

They were classmates. She sat at the desk in front of Xavier. He had always been watching her from behind, in secret.

"Xavier, help me with this homework!"

"Can Xavier help me with my class duty today?"

"Wait for me to come home with you!"

She was usually loud, bouncing around in front of his eyes. When did Xavier realize he liked her that much? Perhaps it was late that afternoon, after the school day had ended, yet she was still sitting in her seat.

Xavier just took a long nap. He had dreams about a certain world, when he could practice swordsmanship with her in the blue flower fields, and even travel among the stars. When he awoke, the whole class had departed, leaving her the sole one reading a book. Her little physique obscured the sunset light from the window for him.

"Is it already that late?"

Xavier rubbed his eyes. She turned and grinned. "Yes. Seeing you sleeping so soundly, I didn't have the heart to wake you up."

"Sorry… "Why didn't you go home first?"

She tilted her head. The aroma of flowers and grass filled the classroom as the breeze swept in.

"If I go back first, you would most likely wake up feeling lonely, as if the entire world has abandoned you. Isn't that true?"

Her cheeks faintly blushed the color of sunset. Xavier could only gaze at her in silence for a long time. If possible, was he allowed to touch her?

"I don't want Xavier to feel abandoned." She rose up and put the book in her bag. "Come home with me."

Their houses were in the same direction. After becoming friends, the two frequently headed home together. There was also a snack shop on the road that she adored. She always lingered there for a bit before going home, arms full of sweets like a toddler.

"For you." She poured chocolate wrapped in yellow paper into Xavier's palms. They resembled moons, stars, and even spherical planets.

"If you like, I'll try making chocolate for you." He replied, but the girl erupted into laughter.

"I appreciate your kindness, but you should stay away from all the kitchens. Last time I came to your house, we almost burned it down.”

Xavier rubbed his head. She grasped his arm and enthusiastically remarked: 

"It's okay! Next time,  I will make cakes and bring them to you!” 

A small amount of warmth remained on Xavier's arm, making him feel fluttery inside. The road stretched straight and long. He prayed it would never stop so he could always be with her.

Rafayel transferred from another school in the second semester of that year and became a classmate seated next to her. Because he was a newcomer, he greatly appreciated her friendliness and enthusiasm. She toured him around the school and the surrounding area, where she frequently socialized with friends. With her companionship, he no longer felt scared or lonely in his fresh surroundings.

Rafayel and she joined the art club together. Her artwork was not exceptional, so she frequently sought him for help. Weekend painting sessions made Rafayel the happiest since he could witness her confusion, her attentiveness, and sometimes, her wrath while drawing. He simply smirked at moments like that. When she found out, she became enraged and "accidentally" used her brush to create a line on his cheek.

"Hey, my face is not your canvas!"

"Rafayel, please concentrate on sketching. Don't speak and disturb the entire group!" She leaned over and whispered to him. Rafayel grimaced and wiped the paint from his cheek, but it simply smeared further. She laughed.

"Let me clean it for you."

She took out a tissue and dabbed it on his face. His deep pink and blue-ish eyes seemed to be drawn to her.

Despite the fact that he only recently moved here, Rafayel immediately became well-known at school for his drawing and singing abilities. But in his eyes, there was only one girl he wished to be with.

After the art group activities, it began to rain. Rafayel spotted her standing alone on the porch, gazing up at the overcast sky. Her palm extended out to collect the new drops of water that fell from above. He approached her and asked:

“Didn't you bring an umbrella?” 

She shook her head. 

“Me neither.” Rafayel replied, his hand reaching into his bag, pushing the umbrella deep to the bottom. 

“Then we have to stand here a little longer.” She shrugged. And he smiled. Standing next to her, no matter how long it took, he would not mind.

A moment later, the rain ceased. The sun began to rise again. She turned to Rafayel and said:

"We can go home now."

"It's still raining lightly." Rafayel extended one hand out over the porch.

"Nah, it's okay." She responded. Then she dashed out, grabbed Rafayel's hand, and pulled him away. "This light rain won't make you sick!"

Her laughs were crisp, mixed with the sound of the raindrops. Warm sunshine pierced the transparent curtain of water. Rafayel called out: 

"Wait for me!"

At that moment, when the two linked hands and played together in the rain before rushing towards the rainbow, perhaps Rafayel had captured the most beautiful thing this world had to offer.

Two moons revolved around her world.

Because of her, Xavier and Rafayel became friends. They regularly strolled together after school to the nearby hill. The place witnessed many moments of happiness between the three, watched their friendship bloom, and nourished the two boys' quiet affection for her. There were times when either Xavier or Rafayel wanted to confess their feelings to her but could not dare. The relationship between them was so beautiful that it could not be exchanged for anything else.

Both Xavier and Rafayel understood how much the other adored her. This made their situation much more complicated. Aside from being each other's rivals, they both treasured their friendship. As a result, each of them was waiting for someone to speak first, so that the story between the three would have a clear ending. Nobody expected that the person who put an end to it would be her.

After she left the hill, the two guys remained standing next to each other. For a very long time. The girl they loved was leaving, and when she returned, nothing would be the same again. 

Rafayel turned to face Xavier and gently nudged his arm. 

“Let's go home.”

"Yeah. Let's." Xavier responded. They had long ago resolved in their hearts that their affections for her should remain concealed forever. That was the best for all three of them.

Xavier and Rafayel strolled merrily down the hill, grasping one other's shoulders. The wind blew. Sunset slipped away. Each of them had their own concerns, which they could only be able to convey in the future.

-The end- 

[halfratsalready]

The "What if the Traveler is Jack's Dad?" Dilemma & The Power of Character Design in Just Dance’s Storytelling

Originally I had an entire post of all of my thoughts on the worry that the Night Swan event will confirm that Jack's father is the Traveler, but this part made up well over half of it, so I made it a post of its own. I might post the rest separately at some point (I don't even know if I actually think that Ubisoft will make it canon, but I did this anyway).

I went a little crazy on this one, but stick with me here. I am well aware that people don't have to look anything like their parents, but in the world of things like video games (and especially in a game that has to rely entirely on visuals in the absence of dialogue), it's not a bad idea to make related characters visually similar enough for the audience to put their relation together, and the Just Dance team has done an excellent job of this with Wanderlust, so I thought I'd do some analysis on it in relation to the "Jack is the Traveler's son" theory we're all so worried about. This is a very long post - you have been warned.

Disclaimer of sorts: I'm not a costume designer. I'm not a character designer. I'm a musical theater composer, though, who has worked closely with artists on costume design, and I like to think that I have a pretty decent handle on the basics of visual storytelling through character design, which is what this entire post is based off of.

(This post also contains a small spoiler for Sweet Dreams, though it seems that it won’t be a beta for much longer…)

One of the cool things about Wanderlust's appearance is the way that the designers managed to give him his own unique look while also paying homage to both of his parents. It's important to note here that both Si'ha Nova and the Traveler were already well established characters by the time of Wanderlust's first appearance in JD23, so it was important to give him those visual similarities to make his connection to them more apparent.

The most obvious visual similarity between Si'ha and Wanderlust is their blue skin, which makes it pretty clear upon first glance that they're related. A non-genetic but still obvious visual similarity between the two is the use of triangle motifs. Si'ha has one on her head and more on her earrings, for example, while Wanderlust has them on his crown, one on his glove, and one on his belt. I think that it's also worth noting that the golden accents on Wanderlust's sleeves are vaguely reminiscent of the ones on Si'ha's purple glove. They both also have purple, gold, and pink in their overall designs.

Wanderlust has fewer “genetic” visual similarities with his father than he does with his mother, but they're still there. The only "genetic" similarity that they really have is the blue hair (granted, Wanderlust's is only a streak of blue, but it's still there, and his eyebrows are blue, as well). They have a ton of other visual similarities in their designs, though. Just like Si'ha, the Traveler has several triangle motifs throughout his appearance. The one he wears on a chain around his neck is very similar to the one on Wanderlust's glove and belt. They both have their own unique triangle symbols, but they're quite similar. Also notable is Wanderlust's half-cape, which is dark with gold accents, much like the Traveler's cloak. Once again, those gold lines on the Traveler's cloak are similar to the ones on Wander's sleeve. Additionally, Wanderlust seems to have the same eye color as both of his parents.

Even when he's been transformed by Night Swan's spell, Night Wanderlust (or, as I like to call him, Swanderlust) has several visual similarities to both of his parents that he doesn't have in his "normal" form. Though not the same shape or color, he has a shape over one of his eyes like the Traveler does, and those shapes on the black part of his shirt are, to me, very reminiscent of the circles on Si'ha's blue glove. And that little triangle on his crown is remarkably similar to the one on Si'ha's head, black surrounded by gold (I also think the blue of the feathers on his cape are similar in color to the Traveler’s shirt).

I know that Sweet Dreams is a beta (though it might not be for much longer) and that it's very possible that if they do release it, they might change this shot, but for now, I want to use it. When I first saw this shot of Night Swan at the end of Sweet Dreams, I was really thrown off because something felt very wrong with it, and I realized that it's her eyes. They are such a bright green here. It felt like such an intentional choice, and it made me think of the fact that all of Jack's avatars (though you can see it most clearly in his legendary avatar) have green eyes. Does he have green eyes in the actual game? No. But I thought it was an interesting enough detail to include here. Personally, my headcanon is that Night Swan had green eyes before she became Night Swan, at which point they turned yellow, meaning that her eyes are naturally green and that she passed that trait on to her son.

Though they're rather lacking in "genetic" similarities, though, Night Swan and Jack have plenty of those visual similarities that Wanderlust has with his parents (I also think it's worth mentioning that, save for that one teaser in Season 1: Astral, Night Swan and Jack were introduced in the same game, meaning that the need to make Jack as visually similar to her isn't necessarily as important, because Night Swan isn't an established character like Si'ha and the Traveler were prior to Wanderlust's appearance). The pink feathers are an obvious visual similarity between the two. They also both wear gold earrings and have a golden chain (Night Swan on her coat and Jack hanging from his pocket), and Night Swan's golden claws are represented by the golden glove on Jack's hand.

I also want to throw out there that Wanderlust is the son of two "good" characters, and his visual similarities to them indicate that he has that same "goodness." Jack, on the other hand, is the son of a villain, and making him stand out from his mother visually is a good way to represent from the start that he's supposed to be a sympathetic character who isn't anything like his mother. Because it's a dancing game, we don't get any sort of dialogue from him that could indicate that he's not a villain, so we're left to rely on his expressions (which Mickael did a fucking phenomenal job on) and his overall design. Making him stand out from his mother visually is a good way to show us from the start that he's not inherently on his mother's side.

Assuming the Traveler is Jack's father, there is essentially no similarity between the two save for the inclusion of some gold accents. I would say they have the same eye color, but I feel like Jack's dark eyes are overridden by the green eyes in all three of his avatars. Granted, it makes sense for Jack's appearance to be influenced by his mother considering she's the one who raised him, but I think that, from a storytelling perspective, it would have been a smart move to include some semblance of a visual similarity between Jack and the Traveler if they had really intended from the start for the Traveler to be Jack's father. If they did intend on this being a plot point from the start, they intentionally kept it a secret by not including a single visual clue, which is, to me as a storyteller, a sort of annoying thing that makes it seem like they’re more focused on pulling the rug out from under the audience than they are on making sure that the plot twists make sense. But hey, that’s just me.

If you actually, read all of that, I love you and you are the best and thank you for actually taking the time to read my ridiculous rambles. I hope it was at least mildly interesting and made some decent points.

[chaoticevilspacewitch]

RWBY Fanfic Recommendation List

Fics that have really struck me, vaguely organized by ship and/or topic.

Bumbleby (Blake x Yang)

first off, basically anything by pugoata. She's the goddess-empress of the Bees. I'm gonna give particular props to Banshee, as it was the first longer fic and AU that I read, and it really opened up my mind to what fanfic could be.

You're a Mountain, Full of Glory - a ski/snowboard with amazing characterization and a closing scene that will live rent-free in my head forever, in a good way.

They Can't Steal the Love You're Born to Find - childhood soulmates repeatedly torn apart and reconnecting, with courtroom drama. One of the most angst-ridden Bee fics I've ever read.

Fucking In Love - pornstar AU that gets right to the sex and slow burns the romance. Hot as hell while also full of tenderness and pining.

Midnight Menagerie - exotic dancer, kinda-cyberpunk dystopia AU. Edges you forever with the sex, earns all the angst tags, and we are majorly trusting @kaelidascope when she promises an amazing happy ending.

Bite Me Like You Love Me - one of the hottest Bee smutfics I've ever read.

You and Me - Blake discovers she's pregnant the day Yang goes MIA on a mission and struggles through being a single mother teaching their child about her amazing other mom. Short, happy ending, amazingly sweet.

You and Me, and One Hot Summer - tropical beach Bees. It's fun, and hella spicy!

WhiteRose (Ruby x Weiss)

The Foxtrot - Ruby and Weiss repair their broken lives after the war. It's one of the most popular RWBY fics of all time for a reason.

Can You See My Strings?/Deja Vu - premium mentally ill Weiss escapes from child abuse angst, with a happy ending if you read the sequel.

But Your Voice Used to Be Mine - Weiss escapes abuse to join RBY's punk band whose smash hit she inspired.

Just One Cigarette - Ruby and Weiss have a little meetup roleplay and it's really good.

Faunus Weiss (generally major themes of struggling with internal and external racism)

Craving the Sky - Weiss has painfully concealed her faunus heritage while she tries to earn her father's love. The support of her team, and the love of Blake and Yang (BeesSchnees) help her soar on her own.

Black Swan Theory - faunus Weiss struggles to recover from child abuse and navigate a deeply racist society while building a relationship with Pyrrha (Schneekos).

Clipped Wings - secret faunus Weiss, dealing with racism and abuse from Jacques, this time slow burning towards Pollination.

Villainesses

Melting Glace - Cinder and Neo find love, and no redemption, in the trauma of failing to destroy Beacon. Will make you cheer for them to win by the end.

Rise from the Ashes - Cinder has a Vader moment and saves Ruby from Salem, and Ruby's pure heart helps her heal, and their adversarial relationship turn to affection. Peak RWBY enemies-to-lovers.

Odds & Ends

The Bermuda Triangle - great modern AU BeesSchnees that gets filthy hot at the end.

Midnight Rose - Summer rescues and adopts Cinder out of Atlas. Their relationship, and Cinder coming to love the Xiao Long-Rose family, is beautifully depicted. Still very much ongoing (no ships as of yet).

Fallen Maiden - Jaune dies protecting Pyrrha at Beacon, and the Fall Maiden power remains split. Will Pyrrha's bloody crusade of vengeance consume her? Or, 'Pyrrha goes full Magneto and fucks Cinder up'.

What's In A Name? - Winter and May grow up together, struggling to cope with their feelings for each other against the background of the Atlas aristocracy.

Red Sky at Night - This excellently-composed fic has a hacked Penny as the primary antagonist of the Beacon arc and builds it to Nuts & Dolts. It captures both Penny's horror at being controlled in her own body and RWBY's fear in fighting a seemingly unstoppable enemy, almost like Terminator vibes, and ultimately takes it to a very sweet relationship.

Linked In Life and Love - I'd be remiss if I didn't mention this one. I really, really love the first act, where Team RWBY sees Blake suffering terribly through a surprise heat cycle and decides that they will all "help" her with it. It's sweet and tender and feels legit for them. I'm not a huge fan of where all the series has gone since, but I would invite anyone to judge that for themselves.

Sparks in the Dark - an Emerald/Penny/Ruby trio that's really masterfully done, exploring all three characters in very novel ways, and also doing great things with Salem and Cinder.

War Machines - a Penny/Ruby role-swap that follows Penny's adventures on team BXPS with Blake, Yang, and Weiss. It's very thoughtful and a good read as science fiction for its exploration of Penny's artificial personhood.

(As I see this getting a decent amount of traffic, I'll just point out that, if it's convinced you [correctly] of my impeccable taste in fanfic, you might want to check out my own RWBY writings)

[parisoonic]

I'm in love with how you draw characters (especially when you draw sniperscout and demoman in general), I'm unsure if you've answered a question like this before, but how do you figure out what to do with face shapes? It's hard to explain but the way you over-exaggerate certain features to make their design pop is so cool to me and I've never been able to do it for myself. That, and making faces look like.. well, faces.

thank you so much!!! hopefully i'm understanding you right...

Regarding the face shapes in TF2...we're all standing on the shoulders of the (excellent) design work already done and laid out. The characters have really nice distinct face shapes with some general overlap before you even consider that a lot of them have facial accessories which you can pick and choose from to help push facial silhouettes and peel apart characters that are a little similar.

Naff threshold filter heads to show silhouettes lol In order to exaggerate them - it's mainly about pushing and pulling the existing proportions and ratios of their faces IE: Making Medic's/Soldier's/Heavy's stupid large-chins even longer but sacrificing some of their forehead or eye-region. Varied proportions have a lot of 'rhythm' or 'appeal' and typically the human face can break down into the forehead (+ hair), eyes (I like to do a Batman style mask but people will often use the nose to form a triangle too) and then....everything else (chin, cheek etc).

Soldier, Heavy and Sniper all have REALLY similar proportional ratios but their silhouettes are really different (in both the x and z). When you add in that the 'default' way to view Soldier and Sniper is with their accessories they're all really nice and different. Funnily enough Sniper's 'eye mask' is teeny tiny with his visors off but this relationship changes with his sunglasses on. Kinda interesting... I sometimes like to think of visual vibe-based 'archetypes' when i'm drawing the tf2 guys. I don't have one for everyone yet but Heavy is sort of like 'handsome caveman' to me. Archetypally, cavemen are drawn with thick brows, small low foreheads and big chins. The 'handsome'-ness comes in when you apply a delicate approach to eyes, cheekbones, lips and with careful posing. Having this kind of visual-archetype in mind informs how I view the character as a whole and thus how i depict them! HOPEFULLY even if I drift away from how they actually look because the vibes are right...it feels right you know? There's also a sliding scale to me as to HOW you represent them. If the character is doing something goofy/stupid, drawing them less handsome and toonier can add levity. Obviouslyyyy you can have your handsome depictions making a dick joke (and that's its own sort of visual gag) but you'll notice in a lot of my images the straight-man gets drawn a little more...realistic? on-model? than the butt of the joke. It just feels more appropriate to me haha I'm using 'toonier' here to mean not only am I drawing fewer details but also exaggerating those ratios between areas of the face away from their 'default' ratio. like with most drawing-y things it's practice AND experimentation! i draw these guys differently depending on my mood and how generous i'm feeling towards their looks lol if you wanted tips on the construction of faces I really recommend checking out Griz and Norm's 'Tuesday Tips'. They're incredibly clear, concise and very approachable (and cover a variety of subjects!) Hopefully this link works? but if you search them on Pinterest and grab a cuppa, there's some AMAZING tips to be had here: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/search/pins/?q=griz%20and%20norm&rs=typed

[thescarletnargacuga]

RACEWAY AU KART INSPIRATIONS

A list of the racers and the cars/motorcycles that inspired the karts they drive! All of these vehicles are wildly different because I'm going for visual representation over practicality.

CAINE

The 1959 Chevrolet Corvette convertible

Racer insignia: top hat

Advantage: controlled by the administrative AI

Disadvantage: controlled by the administrative AI

POMNI

The C36 Formula 1

Racer insignia: Jester hat

Advantage: extremely fast

Disadvantage: poor traction for drifting

KINGER

The Apollo IE

Racer insignia: crown

Advantage: High maneuverability

Disadvantage: The driver often doesn't pay attention

RAGATHA

The Ford GT

Racer insignia: a button in a flower

Advantage: gets the most air time on jumps

Disadvantage: poor hairpin maneuverability

JAX

The Toyota GR Supra

Racer insignia: cartoon rabbit head silhouette

Advantage: best at drifting

Disadvantage: not very fast on straightaways

GANGLE

The W1 Lamborghini Huracán

Racer insignia: theatre comedy/tragedy masks

Advantage: very cute

Disadvantage: has a nervous driver

ZOOBLE

The Subaru stock rally race car

Racer insignia: a simple equilateral triangle

Advantage: excellent traction on any track

Disadvantage: driver doesn't give a shit

GUMMIGOO

The Harley Softail chopper

Racer insignia: gator head silhouette

Advantage: more agile than standard karts

Disadvantage: easy to delay with items or collision

SETH

The BMW HP4 racer

Racer insignia: none

Advantage: same abilities as Caine

Disadvantage: ego

[kissingkiszka]

Choosing The Road - GVF x Reader

Words:1.8k+

Summary: Reader goes on a roadtrip with her lifelong best friends, and they are all after her heart.

CW: MDNI, 18+, fluff, drinking, cursing, can be viewed as both platonic &/or romantic, flirting i guess?, traveling idrk! Love triangle but all 4 of the boys are after reader (love pentagon?) not proofread

This is a bit of a short one I wasn’t actually going to post but here we are! I wrote this one on the way to my Starcatcher show :)

I may do a part 2 to this where reader ends up with one of them so lmk if you’d like to see that and who she’d end up with!

—————————————————————

It was your second day on the road, and it was anything but boring, especially being with the guys. They had been your best friends for years now and a roadtrip with them was something you had always wanted to do, and now was the chance.

Everyone had pitched in a little bit to cover the cost of a rental RV, and everyone took turns driving, except you. You were more than happy to, however the boys wanted you to sit back and enjoy the ride. Sam even decided to bring Rosie with him, which led to even more fun.

Even though you had just gotten on the road yesterday, there were already countless trips to truck stops that had been made. It was always the same routine, too. Sam would get out to stretch his legs, play with Rosie, and photograph the surrounding area. Josh would hop out, take a short walk in the surrounding patches of grass and pick up any flowers, rocks, or sticks he had found nearby. He was really good at journaling and the pieces of nature he had found made for excellent journaling supplies. Danny always made a trip to the bathroom and made sure everyone had their snacks and enough water to last them to the next truck stop. Jake had recently taken up the hobby of writing poetry, so he would sit outside and take in as much scenery as possible to later write about. And for you, well you would join each of them in their respective activities depending on your mood.

“Let the good times roll!” Sam announced, putting the camper in reverse. He had just taken over for Jake as driver.

“Who wants to listen to some blues?” Jake asked, taking out his phone.

“You. Only you do, Jake.” Josh spat.

Jake plopped himself down in between you and Danny. Without a word, Danny handed him a water bottle and a small bag of crackers.

“Thanks bud.” Jake said, opening the bag.

Danny was definitely the mom friend, which made you laugh. The Kiszka boys always had a somewhat childish side. Although they were some of the most responsible and respectful men you knew, they always brought out your inner child, which was one of the reasons you were such great friends with them.

“This road trip is so fun. I can’t wait to make some more lifelong memories with my lifelong friends.” Danny smiled, picking his head up from the book he had been reading.

“I can’t wait to see where the road will take us. Bajabule!” Josh cheered, taking a beer can out of the mini fridge in the corner. “So many good vibes around us.”

This trip was so spontaneous, you didn’t even have a planned destination. You guys just wanted to drive around the country until you felt like going back to Nashville.

“Jake, could you hand me my water, please?” You ask sweetly.

“Of course, love.” He smiles before turning around to get your pink metal water bottle. Before he could grab it, Danny scoops it up and delivers it to you.

“Here you are, m'lady.” Danny says as you graciously accept the water.

“I was going to get it for her-” Jake begins.

“You snooze, you lose, buddy.” Danny lovingly pats him on the shoulder.

The various sights you had seen eventually turned into mountain tops that looked identical to one another.

After a few hours of driving straight, Sam finally pulled into a parking lot. You lifted your head out of a book you were reading to take in the new location.

“A truck stop? Another one?” Josh stands up with his hands on his hips.

“I have to pee!” Sam argued. “Plus, I don’t want Rosie pooping on the floor, or we might have to pay extra for that.”

“Good call.” Jake nodded, standing up.

“I need to stretch my legs anyways.” Danny added, walking towards the door.

Sam got Rosie on her leash and then made his way out of the RV, and everyone followed after him.

“You want any snacks?” Josh leaned in, asking you.

“Me? Uh, maybe a coffee would do me some good.” You smile.

“You got it.” He reciprocated the warm smile and went inside to get snacks.

You followed him at a distance, going to quickly use the restroom.

After you used the restroom, you wandered around the truckstop for a bit. You walked over to a huge map on the wall, examining it carefully.

You quickly grabbed a pamphlet that read ‘Arkansas’ across the top in big blue lettering. You were planning on making a scrapbook of the road trip and figured you would be collecting any sorts of materials for it.

Even though you had been on the road for the past day, and you had no idea where you were, it was good to find out that you had at least made it out of Tennessee.

“Arkansas? Huh.” Danny came up behind you and rested a firm hand on your shoulder.

You jump back, startled. You let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, I was worried we’d still be in Tennessee.”

“Don’t worry about that, Y/N.” Danny laughed. “I think we’re coming pretty close to Oklahoma by now. Maybe if Josh could drive better, we’d be there by now.”

You nodded with a giggle.

“Well, I’m gonna go get a quick snack. You want anything?”

“No thanks, Josh is already getting me something.” You smiled. “I’m gonna get some fresh air for a bit.”

You left the truck stop, heading over to the RV. Sam was now outside with Rose. You headed over to them, bending down and greeting Rose with a few pets.

“She loves you.” Sam smiled as he watched you play with his beloved pet. “But who doesn’t? You're easy to love.”

“I could say the same for you, Sam.” You look up at him and go to stand.

“Yeah, right.” He chuckles, giving Rose a treat.

“You are.”

“Really?” He asks, his eyes going wide.

“Duh. You’re my best friend. Everybody loves you.”

“Awh.” He sighs and smiles to himself. You even catch a glimpse of him blushing, but he turns away before you can point it out.

You turn around, making your way back to the camper and notice Jake stepping inside.

When you get inside, you notice Jake sitting down on one side of the couch. He pats the spot next to him, signaling for you to join him on the couch.

“Hey.” He smiles.

“Hey.” You reply, sitting down.

He has his leather bound journal placed open in his lap. You take notice of the many words accompanying the pages.

He notices you looking at the pages as he looks down. “I've been busy.”

“Looks like it.” You nod. “What are you writing?”

“I’ve been working on some stuff. Some concepts for a new album. Some poetry. Y’know.” He admits.

“I see you’ve gotten a lot done?”

He laughs and glances down at the journal once more. “You can say that.”

You lean in a bit closer, getting more interested in hearing his ideas. “Does sight seeing give you inspiration? Is that why you’re always writing stuff down?”

“Well, I actually get a lot of my inspiration from you. Believe it or not.” He gives you a sweet smile.

“Jake,” you grin. “That’s so nice. Can I-”

“I don’t want you to see it yet. Only when it’s perfect.” He softly closes his journal and moves it to the side. “I only want you to see my top notch work.”

“Jake, I think all your work is top notch.”

“Thank you, Darl-”

As he finishes his sentence, Josh comes sauntering back into the vehicle.

“Your coffee, madam.” He dramatically puts his hand out, you take the coffee from him. “And I also threw in a bag of chips for you.”

“Thank you, Joshy.” You accept the snacks with a cheeky smile.

“No need to thank me,” He sits himself down on the couch across from you and Jake. “Especially over a small bag of chips and a coffee. I’d do anything for you.”

You giggle before Danny and Sam come piling back onto the RV, with Rose following closely behind on her leash.

“Alright, so who’s driving now?” Sam claps his hands together.

“I’ll drive.” Danny stands up. “Haven’t driven for a bit now.”

“I know there's a rest stop in about…50 miles.” Jake told him.

“Maybe we stop there for the night? Get some rest?” You inquired.

“Yes ma’am.” Danny nodded, sitting down behind the wheel.

“Getting rest at the rest stop!” Josh chimed in.

…

That night, the RV was parked at a rest stop next to a huge pond. It was off the highway and very peaceful. The RV bunks were anything but comfortable. You had been tossing and turning, not able to get any sleep. You thought for a minute before deciding on reading your book. That always helped you fall asleep easier. As you walk into the sitting area to retrieve your book, you see Josh’s silhouette on one of the couches.

“Josh?” You ask in a whisper, blinking back your lack of sleep.

“Oh!” he jumped back, startled. “What’re you doing up?”

“Can’t sleep. How ‘bout you?”

“That makes two of us.”

“Have you seen my book?” You ask, squinting in the darkness trying to find it.

He shakes his head. “Can’t say I have.”

“Dammit.” You sigh under your breath.

“Why so sad? Come join me outside.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Just feel like it. A night underneath the stars…?” He says unsurely.

You oblige and follow him outside.

He finds a nearby picnic table and lays down on top of it, looking up at the night sky.

“Lay with me.”

“Lay with you?”

“Yeah, c’mon.” He pats the spot next to you.

You lay next to him and stare at the sky as well. It’s silent for a few moments, as both of you are just admiring the sky and wondering what to talk about.

“So many stars out tonight. They’re all so bright too.”

“You’re the brightest star, though.”

“Says you.” You chuckle, your cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. “You’re literally the brightest star out there.”

“So I’m the sun?” He asks.

“The sun is still a star.” You nod matter of factly.

“You know what? if you asked me to, I would go up there, and catch all the stars…I’d bring them back down for you.” He admits, laying his hands against his chest.

“That’d be one big feat.”

He chuckles. “For you, it’d be nothing.”

“Thanks Josh…”

“You know, I’d do anything for you. I’m sure all of us would. We love you so much.” He sits there for a minute before sitting up with wide eyes. “Oh my god. That’d make for a good album name.” He smiles to himself before looking over at you, who’s long asleep by now.

[legobiwan]

What is your absolute favorite gravity falls fic ? The one that completely ate away at your brain and wouldn't leave your head for days? It can be shipp-y or gen, both is fine! I'm just completely on the edge of falling headfirst into a Gravity Falls hyperfixation and I need just one good fic to tip me over the edge & you have excellent taste!

Oh boi, I think it really depends on what you are looking for! I personally really enjoy fics that don't shy away from our characters' less desirable traits, and one of the things I adore about Gravity Falls is how deep and complicated the adult characters are. Ford can be an egomaniacal asshole who will trade the world to satisfy his insecurities; Stan can absolutely be a slimy conman with Saul Goodman-levels of morals; Bill is an outright abuser, despite his total infatuation with Ford; and Fiddleford essentially leaves his wife and child for another man he can never have in the 80s, which adds archeological layers to his terrible decisions. Considering this is technically a Disney, Y7 children's show, it's pretty damn wild how complex and mature these situations are once you spend more than three seconds thinking about them.

But you asked me for my single, favorite Gravity Falls fic.

As someone who really appreciates the Hannibal levels of fuckery that is the Ford and Bill relationship, I have to say Statement Abnegation is in my top 5, probably top 3. My backup Billford (gen, but still dark) rec would be Bait & Switch, which is unfinished at the moment, but updates at pretty quick intervals. (As an aside, I should mention I only rec triangle!Bill fics, as I really am not a fan of human!Bill unless he's possessing someone for a defined purpose).

Because I can never give a single, concise answer to anything in my life (hellooo, commitment issues hahahaha) I'll also throw in my favorite sibling-fic recs. First would be By Any Other Name, which is mostly a character study of Stan, but features a lot of Ford and the extended Pines clan, as well, and doesn't shy away from the fact that both Ford and Stan are very flawed people with a metric ton of issues. Backup sibling fic is a new one I just discovered, also complete, titled Under the Ice, which explores the idea that perhaps some events are fixed points in the universe and can never be avoided. Again, it's another fic that doesn't avoid the elder Pines twins and their multitude of less-than-savory character traits, which is something I really value in Gravity Falls writing, given the ever-present threat of blorbofication, no matter the fandom.

Anyway! Long answer to a short question, I hope you enjoy at least one of these!

[butchhamlet]

are there any shakespeare retellings you recommend? i really enjoy retellings but it's also difficult to find ones that like. actually understand the source material... i've read your novella duodecimal and really liked it btw! excellent take on twelfth night :-)

THANK YOU SO MUCH WAH... yes, i can recommend some retellings! i keep intending to make a big post with my recs, actually, but there are so many out there that i haven't read yet... so for now here's an incomplete list:

a thousand acres by jane smiley: the first one that came to my mind seeing this ask. it's a retelling of lear set on an american farmstead, and the adaptation is done beautifully and smoothly--it's just distinct enough from OG Lear that you can judge it as a book on its own but also as a lear retelling. and it's sooooo good. it starts a little slow, but the character work is so excellent and it almost made me cry (i will note that there's a pretty hefty cw on this one but... saying what it is is technically spoilers? but feel free to send another ask or message if you want to know up-front)

the last true poets of the sea by julia drake: books that made me have to turn my camera off in zoom class so i could bawl properly. books written for me specifically. this is a loose YA retelling of twelfth night (looser than some of the other retellings on this list) and it's like. perfect. the teenage dialogue actually sounds like teenagers. every emotional beat clubbed me over the head. the love triangle is present--and done really well; it's not present for drama but because sometimes being a teenager is confusing--but more than that this is a book about the relationship between violet and her sibling, and about mental health, and god it makes me CRAZY. also girls kiss in this one

rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead by tom stoppard: i mean. i think most people into shakespeare know r&gad. but in case you haven't read it yet, it's an absurdist play from the point of view of rosencrantz and guildenstern and it's absolutely fucking brilliant. not sure what else to say about this; you've really just gotta read it

teenage dick by mike lew: another play, this one on the modern side--a retelling of richard iii set in a high school, focusing explicitly on disability issues. kind of more a reimagining than a retelling, honestly, but i really like the exploration of r3's themes and also it's fucking hysterical. although i will say there's a kind of jarring tonal shift in this one near the end, so don't go to it for something 100% comedic

american moor by keith hamilton cobb: okay this isn't exactly a retelling but if you've ever read othello you have to read it. you just have to. please god if you've ever read a shakespeare PLEASE. it's a monologue from the perspective of a black man trying out for the role of othello, half-resigned to being pigeonholed into playing that specific role in a very specific way as directed by a white director, but also half-chafing against that resignation, and also exploring the complexities of loving shakespeare as a black man, and it's soooooo so good

exit, pursued by a bear by e.k. johnston: this one is kind of cheating because it's not really a retelling, in that it has next to nothing to do with the winter's tale except that there is a hermione character and a leontes character and a paulina character. i still think it's a very very well-done YA book, though, and one of the only ones i've read that deals head-on with abortion

foul is fair by hannah capin: okay, i will admit i read this one some years ago when i was more into YA, so i'm not sure i would still go crazy over it now, but the plot of this book is that the modern lady macbeth character gets assaulted by a guy at a party and decides to kill everyone who let that happen. and then she does. and idk i read it in two days it felt like being on crack

the wednesday wars by gary schmidt: this one is DEFINITELY cheating, because this isn't a retelling of anything. but if you like shakespeare and you're open to reading historical fiction about a kid in the 60s using shakespeare as a lens through which to understand the chaos of his life (from the vietnam war to his school crush)... it's so good. it made me nearly sob. beautiful book

i'm also a fan of ryan north's shakespeare choose-your-own-adventure books, but those aren't exactly retellings and also the humor will probably not work for everyone. but i like em <3

and finally, i would be remiss not to shout out the fact that @suits-of-woe wrote an INCREDIBLE retelling of the two gentlemen of verona that, like, redeemed the fact that that play exists. if you've read that play and you thought, "wow, i wish this were explicitly homoerotic, or not a rape apologia, or good in any way," you will LOVE macy's book. unfortunately it isn't fucking published yet but WITH YOUR HELP--

[ornii]

“The Fun Way…”

Yelena Belova X Male Reader

Yelena thinks you’re seeing another Woman, but it’s much more complicated than that.

Taiwan, you crept inside an apartment complex and to a door. You slowly gripped the handle and drew your SG-09 Handgun. Opening the door you crept in the dimly lit small room, searching quickly you noticed the dim lights, and TV was off. You felt it and sensed warmth. It was turned off recently. You gave it one last look before sensing someone was in the room, calmly you lowered your handgun and pressed the device in your ear.

“Yelena, Room 301.” You said, “seems they left.. we recon in 5.” It was a lie, Yelena knew that and made her way upstairs as you waited the attack. You heard the shuffle of feet and quickly turned around, before you could even lift your gun the Windows legs clamped around your neck and pinned you to the door and slammed it shut. dropping your gun you gripped her hips and swung her into the wall as she fell. Being a Super soldier you excelled in Hand to Hand combat, which you slowly began to dominate her in, ducking her punches and kicks and trying to restrain her with little success, due landed a good jab to your nose, making you judo throw her right into the kitchen and into the table.

“Okay! Are you done now?” You asked her approaching, she quickly took a kitchen knife.

“Of course not.” You duck the first few swings until she catches the blade right in your shoulder. This time you don’t hold back and slam her into the kitchen sink pretty hard. She relates with another leg choke, a triangle. You fell back and landed back first on the table, your vision slowly faded into a mist of red caught the window, and something in her just, changed. You looked over to Yelena who casually sprays the woman. Who snaps out of her trance, and quickly lets you go.

“I’m sorry I—“

“He’ll be fine.” Yelena said, and let the girl go, you sit up as you yank the knife from your shoulder. “Where were you?” You asked her, and began to look for a rag.

“I was, here. Walking.” She shrugged, you slowly turned to face her. “Walking? While I was fighting for my life?” You huffed, Yelena sat down at the broken dinner table.

“Well, if I do remember correctly before we got here to said “They’re just a bunch of woman, how bad can they be.” Is what you said, so I thought you could handle it.” She obviously was thickening the sarcasm. You reluctantly found a washcloth and pressed it against your wound. “Fair enough.” You muttered. You felt the sudden ting of your phone, and checked it. A smile crept along your face that Yelena noticed immediately.

“Something amusing?” She asked, you put the phone away and stood up with a smile. “Nah, just have a meeting with someone, hopefully it goes well.” You leaned in placing a warm kiss on her cheek, Yelena was pretty confident in her relationship with you, why wouldn’t she? She’s never had any reason to lack any, until now.

“So, any other windows here or…?” You slowly trailed off, Yelena shook her head.

“Um, no.. none else.” You said.

“Awesome, New Yorks hours away, you should sleep on the flight there.” You walked to the door, and Yelena watched you go, something in her gnawing her to ask you, but she doesn’t. You had your own trip planned, not back to New York but to a small town called WestView, New Jersey.

You pulled up to the home in your rented car and exited the vehicle, taking a deep breath you approached the front door and knocked. You waited for what felt like forever, until a familiar face opened the door; Wanda.

“You’re here early, she said.” You awkwardly laughed as you looked around. “Yeah when I saw your message I uh.. rushed here.”

“All the way from Taiwan?”

“Heh… Yeah.” You admit, Wanda shook her head and side stepped, letting you in. You walked into the house that felt like it was out of an early 90’s sitcom. “Sit.” She said, you find a somewhat comfortable spot on her couch and so does Wanda, more leisurely of course. “You really must be in trouble if you came to New Jersey for the Scarlet Witch.” She jokes, but you were and you admitted it.

“It’s.. yeah.. I am, Wanda I.. I don’t know how to say this without this being awkward but Yelena and I are in a bit of a bind.” You explain, she raised an eyebrow to the statement and she leaned forward a bit.

“What kind of.. Bind?” She said, and you reluctantly answered.

“We.. want to have a child.” You explain, “Well.. I doubt you need my help in that, you both are adults—“ she starts but you cut her off.

“No not with.. that part, you see.. when Yelena became a Widow, they took her to the red room and..” you make a scissor cutting motion with your fingers. Wanda gets what you meant.” They took her ovaries..” she muttered, you nodded.

“And I see the look on her face when we walk past baby clothes and moms holding their kids it.. it hurts her, and I want to do this for her.” You explained, you always asked Yelena what she thought about kids, always called them annoying or something along the caliber of that. But the sad longing look in her eyes said more than her words. “I don’t know if it would take both of our blood or some magic ritual but I want her to be able to have a kid, to be a normal person, to feel like her life isn’t just murder and espionage and death..” you ranted on to Wanda who listened intently, seeing the pain and frustration in your voice and eyes.

Wanda’s brow furrowed and, she asked you a question that you for whatever reason never asked yourself. “Have you considered adoption?”

“… Shit.” was the only thing you could mutter, Wanda tilts her head. “Were you going to ask me to make a magic baby for you before even considering adopting?” Wanda asked in disbelief. “Did you?” You casually responded, which shut her up.

“Fair enough.” She said, but if you want this to work you have to tell her, I can heal her body and that should work but it’s not a full proof plan.” Wanda explained, but a chance was more than enough for you, you hugged Wanda, happy. Little did you know Yelena was watching, not interfering but still watching.

Returning to your New York apartment you immediately felt unease. You calmly drew your pistol and called out. “Yelena? I know you’re here…” you aimed your gun and took a step, moved into the kitchen. Yelena was waiting, both of you aiming weapons at each other.

“Hey.” You said.

“Hey yourself.” Yelena huffed and kept her hands firmly on the pistol. “You obviously seem upset about something, so do you want to talk about it?” You asked, unsure how this is going to end.

“Oh now you want to talk, I thought you did your talking in Jersey.” Her rebuttal was cold and full of Malice, and you slowly realized she knew. You lowered your firearm. “That.. it’s not what you think—“

“Do you think I’m an idiot? You’re shaking up with some Slakovian witch under my nose?!” Yelena has her finger on the trigger, this was obviously a misunderstanding and you drop the gun. “Oh, that’s what you think… it’s, a lot more complicated than that.. can I explain? Please?” You asked, and slowly reached for the chair, Yelena watched your slow movements as you sat down, she angrily did as well but still had the gun under the table ready to fire.

“I went to Wanda to ask her for help, with.. Us. I know you want a life more than almost dying every time, maybe a.. family. So I asked Wanda if it would be possible for us to.. have a family. I know I should have asked you before telling you. I was just excited when Wanda wanted to talk. I’m sorry.” You have your best to make Yelena understand, you expected anger and frustration but all that was on her face was sadness. She blinked a few times before she had glossy eyes.

“You.. you mean that?”

“Of course I do.” You replied, Yelena sighed, “I’d be a terrible mother..” she frowned, “I don’t know how to take care of a baby.”

“We can.. learn together, you’d be a great mother, you’re loving but brutally honest too. Especially to me, but I know deep down you’d love and care for them.” You stood up, approaching Yelena’s side as you knelt down and placed your hand on her leg, her beautiful eyes looking at yours.

“YA lyublyu tebya, Yelena” (I love you, Yelena) and I don’t want you to feel like the things you aren’t are obtainable because of someone else, I’ll do whatever I can to live a life with you.”

Yelena’s face held such pain only for a moment, and she pushed them down and smiled. “Okay, you’re forgiven..” she smirked.

“Good. So, will you do it?” You asked. She nodded, “I will.. can we go to an orphanage in Russia?” She asked, which slightly confused you.

“Oh, umm yeah…” you said, which confused Yelena. “You.. did want to adopt, right?” She said unsure. “Well I.. asked Wanda if she could give you back your.. you know.” You awkwardly explained.

“Ovaries.” She said, trying not to laugh.

“I mean.. Yeah.” You couldn’t look her in the eye, Yelena cups your face, tilting it up to meet hers.

“You want to make babies the fun way, hmm?~” She actually giggled. You saw the joy, love in her eyes. You always had charisma and suave, but Yelena made you feel that teenage love you missed out on. You held her wrists and smiled, happy, content, in love…

With all that she’s been though, Yelena Deserves a happy ending.

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

I really love oddball snakes! The ones that have extremely unique looks that only makes sense once you learn about their prey or environment. Do you by any chance have some cool examples of this to share with us?

Totally!

Blunt-headed tree snakes are a great example. They look so strange, until you remember that they're little arboreal insect-eaters. They need to be light enough to stay up high in the trees, hence the super thin body, but they also want to maximize the size of prey they can eat (bigger prey = more nutrients), so they have really big heads so they can swallow bigger prey.

Arabian sand boas look like somone only vaguely familiar with the concept of snakes tried to draw one from memory.

But they look like that so they can burrow down into sand to wait for prey. Their eyes are far apart and at an angle so they can keep their eyes above the sand to look for food. And it works! Super well! Look at this picture of an Arabian sand boa in the sand - all you can see are those wide-set eyes!

Quill-snouted snakes have delightfully strange triangle-shaped heads that are excellent for digging!

Elephant trunk snakes look like if someone tried to melt a boa. Their skin looks super baggy, and that's because they actually use it to hunt! They use folds of their skin and special sharp scales to trap slippery prey like fish and keep it from escaping.