butcherlarry

[butcherlarry]

[butcherlarry]

In the club

[butcherlarry]

it's easier to apply for jobs than ever! so what if you lost your insurance, anyone can get a job these days, even without meds. everyone is hiring! there's a "good employee" shortage!

well you just need to revamp your resume, here's a paid app subscription that can read it for you. rewrite the cover letter they won't read. google jobs in my area and then scrawl through Monster/Indeed/worbly. did you want to save the search? this was posted 98 days ago. over 1 billion applicants! this position is trending.

jobs i actively like doing and get paid for. your search returned no results. easy-apply with HireSpin! easy apply with SparkFire! easy apply with PenisFlash! with a few short clicks, get your information stolen.

watch out! the first 98 links on google are actually scams! they're false postings. oopsie. that business isn't even hiring. that other one is closed permanently. find one that looks halfway legit, google the company and the word "careers". go to their page. scroll past brightly-lit diversity stock photo JOIN US white sans serif. we are a unique, fresh, client-focused stock value capitalism. we are committed to excellence and selling your soul on ebay. we are DRIVEN with POWER to INNOVATE our greed. yippee! our company has big values of divisive decision making, sucking our dicks, and hating work-life balances. our values are to piss in your mouth. sign here and tell us if you have gender issues so we can get ahead of the sexual harassment claim. are you hispanic although let's be real we threw out the resume when we saw your last name.

sign up to LinkHub to access updates from this company. make a HirePlus account to apply. download the PoundLink app. your account has been created, click the link we sent you in 15 minutes. upload that resume. we didn't read the resume, manually fill in the lines now. what is your expected pay grade. oh actually we want hungry people, not people driven by a salary. cut a zero off that number, buddy, this is about opportunity, and we need to be thrifty. highest level of education. autofill is glitching. here is an AI generated set of questions. what is your favorite part of our sexy, sexy company. how do you resolve conflict. will you get our company logo tattooed on your person. warning: while our CEO is guilty of wage theft, we will absolutely refuse to hire a nonviolent felon.

thank you for your interest at WEEBLIX. we actually already filled this position internally. we actually never had that posting. we actually needed you to have 9 years of experience and since you have 10 years we think it might be too many? we'll be texting you. we'll email you. we'll keep your resume. definitely absolutely we won't just completely ignore you. look at your phone, there's already a spam text from Bethany@stealyouridentity. they're hiring!

wait, did you get an interview? well that's special, aren't you lucky. out of 910 jobs you applied to, one answered, finally. and funny story! actually the position isn't exactly as advertised, we are looking for someone curious and dedicated. it's sort of more managerial. no, the pay doesn't change - you won't have any leadership title. now take this 90 minute assessment. in order to be a dog groomer, we need you to explain cell biology. in order to be a copyeditor, write a tiny dissertation about the dwindling supply of helium on the planet. answer our riddles three. great job! we just need to push this up to Tracy in HR who will send it to Rodney who is actually in charge. and then of course it's jay's decision and then greg will need to see you naked and if you survive you'll be given a drug test and a full anal examination.

and of course you'll be hungry this whole time, aren't you, months and months of the same shit. months of no insurance, no meds, no funding, barely able to afford the internet and the phone and the rent - all things you need in order to even apply for our thing. but do it again! do it again and again and again, until you flip inside out and turn into a being of pure dread!

you're not hired yet because you're lazy. there's over one million AI-generated hallucinated jobs in your area. don't worry. with zipruiter, hiring and firing is easier than ever. sign up. stay on-call.

in the meantime, little peon - why don't you just fucking suffer.

[butcherlarry]

People give Bruce so much shit for wanting his cowl on at odd times but frankly if I had cutting edge technology like detail-enhancing lenses, bone conducting comms, sensors with tones indicating movement/etc, and various other tech all built into one thing, I would have that shit on my head all the time. Ear protection. Eye protection. Head trauma protection. Multiple comm lines. Cooling and heating ports. An expandable mouth/jaw cover for breathing underwater or in gas. A voice modulator. There’s probably a million things in there all hooked up at any given time, and yes it looks weird but it’s extraordinarily useful!

[butcherlarry]

F

[butcherlarry]

Tbh I imagine the conversation of Lois warning Bruce about the side effects of dating Clark would be funnier if it wasn't even a conversation at all. What if she just walked up to him after she became aware of their relationship and said.

"Congratulations. I hope you don't like walking. Good luck!"

And then left. No further explanation or elaboration given. Bruce originally interpreted it as a shovel talk. It was not.

Oh my god that's hilarious. Bruce deals with people threatening to break his knees every day. Lois Lane threatening it is notable but not anything he needs to worry about. Four days later he can't get out of bed and the conversation flashes back into his brain in full fucking technicolor.

[butcherlarry]

🐧

[butcherlarry]

au where jet doesn’t find out that zuko and iroh are fire nation and when he runs into the gaang he goes ‘oh by the way this is my new friend lee. we met on the ferry ride over here!’ and the gaang and zuko just like awkwardly stare at each other for a really long time

[butcherlarry]

To reiterate:

Trump's transphobic Executive Orders regarding healthcare and Federal documents are currently unenforceable and are not current actionable policy of the Federal government.

Do not despair.

Do not panic.

And most importantly: do not comply in advance.

Staying alive is a radical act as a trans person in Trump's America.

[butcherlarry]

He totally doesn’t love holding hands. (¬////¬)

[butcherlarry]

As we see a barrage of evil executive orders come in, they are not immediately enforceable and will takes months or years to implement.

That’s still not great, but don’t let these pile up to the point of hopelessness. Take a breath, and look community leaders who will fight it every step of the way.

[butcherlarry]

deadpool finally got his hug😭😭❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Original twit

[butcherlarry]

just remember, one day you're going to open tumblr and the crabs will be raving like they never have before

[butcherlarry]

A spotted flycatcher pair nesting in the palm of a statue photos taken by @ZSemperger

[butcherlarry]

wayne-shenanigans

still learning to draw the batbros- the second one is my favorite i think

also idk if anyone noticed in my last post but i gave timmy a nightwing hoodie :))

also also, dick totally paints jason’s nails blue while he sleeps, so jay wrestles dick down and paints his nails red (dick pretends to fight back but not too hard cus he wants them to match) jason secretly likes the paint tho but he would never admit to it shut up