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mobpd · 13 days ago

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I'm so lonely i'm so lonely i'm so fucking lonely

#thinking about death and i'm just. crying #sometimes I finally find the perfect way to describe all of my pain in a way that'll actually make sense to someone else #and I just cry. it hurts. it hurts #of course i'm not telling anyone. but imagine getting the chance to #i'm tired of feeling the same pains over and over again #it gets old. it gets old complaining about it. people get tired of hearing it #eventually you just have to stay silent. stay silent. unnoticeable. keep your head down. never smile. never express yourself #but that ruins everything too #why can't I do anything right #what does everyone else seem to get that I don't #I shouldn't even be so afraid in the first place. it's the fact my head's not normal #everything will always break because I can't be normal #I try so hard to break the cycle or stop myself from doing what ruined everything before and it doesn't work. it doesn't work!#I just ruin everything still! nobody wants or loves you enough to deal with you! nobody can stand you!#even if they did you just wear them down until they can't anymore #nobody cares about you nobody cares if you're hurting nobody cares about your happiness nobody cares if you end up dead #everyone can see what you really are #they would laugh if they saw you die #they want you to die. just give them what they want. this is the best for everyone. things aren't better because you haven't done it #I have dreams of people I know murdering me raping me telling me to kill myself walking on my corpse #I feel like an object. a bug. am I even real? what am i? why do I exist? why is this happening? why does my head hurt?#god doesn't like who I am either #just swallow them down. swallow them down and nothing will be wrong

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ninjasmudge · 8 months ago

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thats a red flag narinder, get that crown back while you still can

+ top panel without text below the cut

#cult of the lamb #cotl #rspect my privacy at this time by not asking what came over me to make a fully colored comic #cotl narinder #cotl lamb #cotl aym #my art #actully im like really proud of this not sure why it happened but it did #anyway i have at least another 4 cotl jokes to get out right now #if you look real close you can see my hcs for lambs design before and after they got the red crown #and also i need everyone to notice aym and lambs eldrich shadow #and yes i know you can both name the cult anything AND you can have a cult in someones name with it being their cult but consider. funny #narinder

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months ago

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Why are you running?

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #The ship between Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli is yuri. To me.#That whole tearful public confession? The way he immediately runs off? Yuriful.#Everyone going 'oh my god what' and 'hey why are you running off???' makes this chaotic scene even funnier.#He's going to just hide behind a tree a few meters away. They can still see his little hat poking out as he cries.#If I was JYL I would have started biting someone.#What do you *mean* the guy you once had feelings for but treated you poorly now says he likes you? What do you do with that information?#Is it character development? Is it worth letting your heart open up again? Is it a mistake to be vulnerable like that?#Not enough credit is given to the internal torment of shijie.#It really does feel like your world is spinning around when someone you did not expect to confess *does*.#This guy has a LOT to make up for though. I wouldn't take him back but I'm also too rational for my own good at times.

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lmaowh-at · 18 days ago

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Lanns n Starks lineups/costumes sketches that I will probably add other houses to. Tywin and Joff & the rest aren't here because I was lazy and Cerseis dress took all of my energy. Don't ask me about inspiration or historical basis for these

#I AM NO FASHION HISTORIAN!!! I ONLY DRAW WHAT I THINK FITS THE VIBE!!!!#the lanns are more or less fitting with each other but the starks are a mess lol #ned is wearing like an every day stark attire ig #cat is more Traditional Tully #for sansa i had absolutely no idea what to do so she doesnt really look connected to neither ned nor cat #her dress is just slavic adjacent. you decide what it is. def not kl or alayne stone eras tho #with robb i wanted to draw completely different armor than i did for jaime so theres both chainmail #AND iron chest plate(s) that look central asian a little lol #arya has her worn out dirty ass riding attire that was given to her by lady smallwood #and jon is nw but i couldnt think of shit so hell be probably getting a seperate post with his costume #all in all this was. something. i dont think im really good at costume design lmao so you can just look at their faces to see my Vision #of everyone there. yea okay thats it #jon snow #eddard stark #catelyn stark #catelyn tully #sansa stark #robb stark #arya stark #house stark #jaime lannister #cersei lannister #tyrion lannister #house lannister #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #🧩

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turtleblogatlast · 6 months ago

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I think a lot about Leo standing up for his brothers in the things that really matter to them.

Like- Leo is the one who immediately pushes Mikey and Donnie into finding Raph the second it’s clear that their oldest brother is missing because he knows Raph can’t handle being separated like that.

Leo is the one who stands up for Mikey when Mikey wants to go on a solo mission, actively vouching for him and being the one to convince Raph into letting Mikey go, because being independent and proving himself just as capable of standing on his own two feet as everyone else means so much to Mikey.

And Leo defends Donnie’s honor in particular when his brothers’ intelligence is insulted because Leo is well aware of how important Donnie’s smarts are to him - and how important having those smarts valued and acknowledged is as well.

All this goes right into just how well Leo knows his brothers. For as much as he’ll tease or fight with them, he knows them, and he loves them.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #listen Leo loves his family SO MUCH #and like it’s no accident that Leo is consistently the one to give pep talks that #very notably #are less ‘everyone as a group’ and more ‘all of you individually’#it’s heartening to see honestly and like #it works with how he is as both a person and as a fighter #he knows people he knows them so well he knows how they work what they’re like #which is SO USEFUL for subterfuge AND portal/teleportation strategy #my guy is charming his charisma comes from his understanding of people at an individual level #when he wants to be he is very very good at that #he’s still a teen who is too cocky for his own good at times but that does not negate his stellar other moments #he can be selfish he can be mean he can be rude but when push comes to shove he is so quick to stand up for his family #Mikey’s statement at the end of the movie about how Leo NEVER gave up on THEM is so important because it’s not JUST about the movie!!#that’s Leo as a whole he will never give up on his bros #portal jacked is telling of this too because although it has a lot of comedic moments #never once does Leo stop looking for a way to get his bros back #they’re everything to him #he’s the face man he’s a people person and he’s the number 1 pet turtle which I will discuss the implications of in this essay-#Will also say that when Leo does these moments of standing up for his bros he’s never expecting praise for it #he’s just glad they find Raph he just smiles when Mikey tells him he loves him he never mentions defending Donnie #leo has a tendency to show off fancy glittery moves but his real actions and feelings are sooo much more lowkey #that you have to be actively looking for them to catch them all #and I really really like that about him it’s so interesting HE is so interesting

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omnomnb · 4 months ago

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hey guys i've been thinking (bad sign)

anyway. you COULD totally just slap them all in the middle and it'd work but i've chosen contemplation so here are my elaborations. obvs take a grain of salt with the undateables since we still don't know them as well

i will kill for you

barbatos and satan are confident enough in how far they're willing to go to keep you safe that the idea of them needing to die for you doesn't come up

belphie has to stay alive for beel

asmo does not want to die

all of the above are decent at taking care of themselves already (but will try harder for you if need be)

i will die for you

literally look at how undyingly loyal mephisto is to the royal family. to him it is noble to die for those you love and that is an ideal engraved in his bones

mammon does not think before acting and his first priority is always your safety rather than eliminating the threat. he doesn't think to retaliate against a blow, he only tries to take it for you

i will kill for you and die for you

raphael and beel are/were both warriors and protectors and unflinchingly ready to shed blood for their loved ones

raphael leans more to kill and beel leans more to die though. lol

i will kill for you and take care of myself for you

diavolo has to stay alive for the sake of the devildom, but he's willing to crush heads if it comes to it

thirteen walks with death and while it won't take her, she can ask it favours. the walk is lonely and she will let you join her on the path (and maybe even,,, hold your hand 😳)

i will die for you and take care of myself for you

levi isn't incapable of sending forth floods on your behalf but he's liable to impulsively think that the only thing he can do is die so that you'll at least remember him as heroic (and then remind himself that you already do)

i will kill for you, die for you, and take care of myself for you

lucifer's ego is simultaneously through the roof and six feet under. he's the best and also the worst and he'll do whatever it takes in any situation

solomon has very little that personally attaches him to this world that isn't a greater loyalty to his realm in general so he's willing to do just about anything. but also you soothe him and make his long life worth it because he met you

simeon was apparently 100% willing to risk falling for you even in s2, before he was romanceable, so he's the one whose love really transcends time. he'll both worship and disgrace himself for you without a second thought. also you make him forget his catholic guilt

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oifaaa · 7 months ago

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Wait shit just thought of something

(If you're about to comment any of the other bats just know you are wrong)

#dc #dc comics #if your wondering why i picked these options #theyre just the ones that imo #would make for some good avatars #but really #i wanna see what everyone else thinks #as long as its not a bat theres no bad suggestions #im definitely missing some obvious options #but its late and im tired #so im hoping you guys can just remind me of the actual dc avatar

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icewindandboringhorror · 14 days ago

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#tumblr polls #polls #Sorry if the wording is weird. I thought ''be considered X where I live'' would make the most sense since 'tallness' or etc. is sort of #subjective to the people around you or your specific culture/area/etc. And if I just said ''I'm tall'' or ''I'm short'' then #the response might be 'well how do I define whether I'm tall or not?'' or etc. But then most people could probably look #at the people around them in daily life they interact with and compare based on that to get a more literal idea or something #..ANYWAY.. lol.. as usual just thought of some random thing and was like.. hrmm... i wonder what the most common #feeling about that would be.#personally I'm not even short but I just want to be really really tall... like... 7 feet tall or something. In a fantasy world type of way #of course. so like a super tall elf creature. More realistically I suppose you get health problems past a certain point #so maybe I'd be happy with 6'2“ or so.#Absolutely no hate towards people with this preference but I've always had trouble understanding the idea of wanting to be shorter #so you're Small And Cute or this and that. or whatever the base reason is. I suppose I would understand it from a surivval prespective #maybe you want to be able to hide in your environment easier and blend into a crowd. I personally would like people to be inspired to run #away from me when they see me though gjhbj #In an average grocery store or something just a normal day but then some 8 foot tall wizard man walks in and so everyone #kind of backs away slowly = yaaay I get the aisle all to myself and can shop for my produce in peace.#(except for the fact that there's a subsection of people who would intepret it as spectacle and would run towards instead of away #and pull out their dumbass phones to film Weird Thing Happening. in which case. spell of 'phone melts into molten plastic in your hands #stop filming strangers in public without their consent' be cast upon ye. )

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starflungwaddledee · 10 months ago

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some rather strong first impressions were made.

required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !

#did i need to do a 9 page comic for this... well who knows. i had this scene in mind for a long time and wanted to do it justice!#important moment for both of them. you can see starstruck just generating the bandee shaped mental illness in real time.#and bandee resolving to be her point of contact with waddle dees if the others can't handle it #he is after all; the strongest and the bravest and the best of them.#“what is this signature like” it's like meeting something that has a human face but you can tell it is Not Human. think: uncanny valley #it also took her quite some time to pick up her own voice. she could not speak (popstarian) on her own for a while #she does not mimic anymore though if she can help it because it tends to weird others out and she wants to avoid that!!#it's not like a fun or enjoyable impersonation; it's like a perfect recording on a device.#also i guess this is *finally* the reveal of the 'hospital' mentioned previously that folks noticed and also like... her name 😂#anyway.... thank you to everyone who voted for starstruck in that poll and has encouraged this insane self indulgence... wow.#never thought i'd get to draw stuff like this and have others look forward to it. i really hope you'll enjoy this!!!#my art #my comics #starstruck dee #bandana waddle dee

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redysetdare · 6 months ago

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"This fandom is so queer friendly!" This fandom literally hates, bisexual, trans, nonbinary, and aspec people but ok.

#text #fandom #fandom culture #“queer friendly” you mean gays an lesbians? because i sure as hell don't see the same friendlyness towards anyone else #bisexual character exists “noooo they were comphet” or “they're dating the opposite sex right now so it doesn't count!!!”#Trans character exists and their story still has to focus on them being gay or else it's not queer or interesting enough #not to mention the sexualization they will face solely based off their trans identity #and the debates on if they're “really” gay or not because of being trans #Nonbinary character or character with complex and nuanced gender exists #and it's all about what their ACTUAL gender is and “I'm just going to use [gendered pronouns] for X because i see X as a boy/girl”#Character uses a specific set of pronouns and everyone decides to toss those to the side in favor of other (gendered) pronouns #under the guise of “nonbinary people can use gendered pronouns too! they are still nonbinaryyyyyyy i prommy”#Aspec character exists and it's “nooo you can't prove their aspec” “I can still ship them because aros can still date”#“Aces can still have sex so I can sexualize this ace character”#“okay but i headcanon them as a different sexuality so it's fine!”#and if you headcanon ANY of these identities? “Nooo you can't PROVE that they are bi/trans/nonbinary/aspec!!!!!”#queer #lgbt+#lgbtq+#lgbtqia+#bisexual #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aplatonic #aspec #acespec #arospec

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serpentface · 23 days ago

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This was going to be a panel of a little comic but I got too invested in drawing minute background details so, here.

#They are having an argument over 1) whether crops can be grown on the moons 2) what - if any - impact does this have on the feasibility #of an afterlife being located on the moons #Brakul is a partial convert to the Imperial Wardi faith but this mostly entails having adopted the seven faced God (and some #other elements of the belief system) into his worldview and participating in expected rites while retaining his central #ancestor veneration practices completely unchanged and mostly prioritized.#This doesn't actually cause much friction in of itself with the big exception being disagreements on the afterlife #Wardi practices surrounding death prioritize proper handling of the corpse and funerary rites in order to get the dead where they #need to be- death is a fraught transition from one state to another. analogous to birth. The role of the living is to get the dead through #this transition (preventing them from being stuck earthbound as earthbound ghosts - which is the Bad afterlife). Once the dead #make it to the moons that's it. They don't really interact with the living. There's plenty of conceptualization of what it's Like #in the lunar lands but the cultural priority is not even slightly on the Logistics of existence there.#Whereas the CORE of religious practice among the Hill Tribes is ancestor veneration - ancestors remain interactive with the living #and require/desire their continual support. They are conceptualized as having earthlike 'lives' where they eat and drink #and grow crops and herd livestock and they need the support of the living (in prayers and offerings) to do so prosperously.#There is a HIGH cultural priority on the logistics of their afterlife and it's self-apparent that the world of the dead needs fertile earth #to support them.#So like bottom line Brakul thinks there's no goddamn way that the moons could support an afterlife (they are described as #barren rock that was flung into the sky during creation and certainly Look that way)#and that the Wardi are just wrong about their afterlife's location. They probably go to the celestial fields (which are located #behind the moons and stars) like everyone else #And Janeys finds this aggravating and doesn't see his fucking point but has developed a nagging concern that Brakul Could be #partly right in that the celestial fields could Maybe exist in addition to the lunar lands.#So like maybe they aren't going to go to the same place when they die?#He's already terrified that he'll be stuck as an earthbound ghost and really doesn't want to be even further separated so #he figures he should make sure he gets himself dead and cremated at the same time as Brakul so they can navigate the #transitional period together.#Brakul is unconcerned because he figures that if Janeys actually does get stuck on those barren ass moons he can just kinda #Go Get Him #Ancestor spirits fly to the earth all the time and the moons would be a much shorter distance. Probably wouldn't be an issue.#Long story short these disagreements and underlying anxieties result in fights over whether you can grow corn on the moons or nah

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months ago

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At your side [End of Season 2]

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wen ning #jin ling #wen qing #jiang yanli #a-yuan #It may have taken a year but we did it! The end of season 2!!!#(Granted: this season was nearly twice the length of season one.)#It's been a really fantastic season to draw for. So many iconic moments! It was a lot of work but I had a blast B*)#I also enjoyed experimenting more and more with my comic style. I'm growing as a comic artist bit by bit!#There is even a little bit of shadowing in this one for next season. As a treat. All the fun (and not heart breaking) scenes to come!#Comic talk time: Recently saw 12 angry men for first time and I love the coincidence of the themes aligning here.#They both touch upon the horror of judicial systems - in which the most persuasive argument wins and the truth is a nuisance.#All it takes is one person to stand against the crowd and say 'I do not know what is true. And that is reasonable doubt enough.'#When the majority is for condemning someone guilty - that in itself is persuasive enough.#One will set their mind to what the 'truth' is and refuse to see it any other way. That their perspective is the only correct one.#No one is born with a monopoly on the truth.#Everyone has biases and agendas. Some care not for the outcome - only that they can be on the convenient side.#Lan Wangji is putting everything on the line to say 'I'm not going to go with the majority vote.'#And that is a huge deal in a story that is so politically focused as MDZS is. Everything is a careful chess move to these sects -#and to not play the game is basically sacrificing everything you are and your families name. For some it is unthinkable.#And there is no doubt in LWJ's mind. He would stand there and lose everything if it means upholding justice.#More importantly - these two have each other's backs. The bond is unbreakable. This is the most ride or die I have seen two people be.

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dailyloopdeloop · 5 months ago

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DAY 71: shy

#codacheetah #isat #loop isat #isabeau isat #isat spoilers #i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image #top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade #like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky #they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower #second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops #ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon #for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that.#theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful #(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.)#like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in.#onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the #obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin)#(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS)#but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus #that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop #theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them #theyre still siffrin. if also loop.#i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more.#but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing #tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner.#hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies #idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone

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sergle · 4 months ago

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yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason

side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.

and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.

#I had a longer post w more bullshit in it but ukw nobody's even gonna read THIS one. so.#dumb ass cunts seriously LMAO just the individualism of it all....#we're all just selectively forgetting that most people join the military straight out of high school / after failing to kickstart #their lives so they don't know shit yet and they are categorically not educated and don't have money #you NEED money and have been groomed by recruiters ALREADY into believing this is #The Best and Only to make a survivable amount of money without a college education-- bc they can't afford college btw #and they don't want to take on student debt either bc everyone already knows what a big fuckeroo that is #recruiters WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO JOIN. they will KEEP CALLING YOU. they'll answer your questions #to make it sound like this is going to be a GREAT life decision. you can get all KINDS of jobs (true)#they love to say the thing about how only about 15% of the military will actually see combat in any way #they love to list all the jobs where you will literally just be working at an office or a pharmacy or in tech etc etc etc #the recruiters are offering housing healthcare steady pay and BONUSES if you sign on for longer.#so you let your guard down because you were so scared of the actual fighting. BECAUSE YOU'RE 18 IN THIS SCENARIO BTW.#you cunts will not meet anyone who hates the military as much as people who are NOW DONE working in the military #you don't know enough when they get you and then either you stay placated by the benefits or you scramble away as fast as possible #the number one military haters are people who know what goes on bc they already did it #source: I LIVE NEXT TO A MILITARY BASE LMAO PEOPLE HATE IT HERE!! they are NORMAL PEOPLE #I need you to get it into your head that the people committing atrocities in war were NORMAL when they joined #and that for every person in the military who's actively shedding blood there's 20 who do PAPERWORK #and they both are being put in the same category by you!! and they are BOTH being controlled by the same system!!#sergle.txt #I hate yall I really do.

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xxplastic-cubexx · 4 days ago

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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..

#xmen #cherik #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #snap chats #the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this #usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends #like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute #but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read #sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah #i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something #like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that #and that aint fun that aint cool …. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary #ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace …. maybe its snowin outisde … if snow even exists anymore atp #a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yet…..#charles has been locked in to erik’s off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss #charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers …#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear #see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book #hm…… actually i do wonder what erik’s commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be …..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday ….#thatd be cute … hm …. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line #anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!

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imaybe5tupid · 6 months ago

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Why bother? (Why bother?) It's gonna hurt me. (It's gonna hurt me.) It's gonna kill when- (Why bother!) -You desert me! (Gonna hurt me!)

Set after Nightmare. Laios is reminiscing and contemplating.

#laishuro #laios touden #i make a lot of jokes on here since part of the fun of this blog for me is limiting myself to only expressing ideas via drawings #as much as I can to try to see what I can try to convey in the limited time I have to draw each day which is sometimes like 15minutes #but laios idea of who shuro was to him and who he continues to be and how it ties into his own feelings of self worth and self hatred #not to mention being so thoroughly defined by having never been indulged before by the men in his life #are so compelling to me #and then of course you mix in toshiros own mind prisons #and their established dynamic of him begrudgingly putting up with him because he feels he has to and bc hes cursed with obedience #whilst laios genuinely thinks shuro does it because he likes it and likes laios because why else would anyone act like that #when everyone else in his life has not hesitated to Let Him Know #this is what is so fun about relationships like this…forever passing by each other’s true feelings like ships in the night #sometimes i get embarassed how deep i get for some of the characters in this series it really is that deep sometimes but not always #but WHATEVER #i never even engaged in or was interested in shipping the several years i read dunmeshi EXCEPT laishuro lol #which i sadistically wanted to stay one sided and miserable forever. I rarely get fed such genuinely fraught dynamics as their one in manga #so i became obsessed #and walked through the desert alone for 40 years and then checked in as anime started airing that other people ship this and gaf #and decided to unleash the jokes and ideas that my like 2 friend who like anime previously suffered alone as though they were jesus christ #now tho as much as I still enjoy tragedy and pain and emotional suffering I’ve let love and peace and requited fulfilled yaoi into my life #with laishuro. and its great!#my comics

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