#every time i’m close with someone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bipolardaisies · 2 months ago

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the thing is she doesn’t even regret what she did. she doesn’t even think she did anything wrong. and yet months later the very mention of her name makes me freeze up. but yeah she’s the victim bc i finally snapped and said something mean.

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read-write-thrive · 3 months ago

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platonic and romantic are not some sort of binary that relationships have to be divided into. they’re not even two ends of a linear spectrum. they’re fully just abstract concepts made up of culturally-dependant social behaviour and expectations that are continually forced upon people to reinforce religious, legal, and broader societal/cultural norms, often and repeatedly to the detriment of non-normative groups including, but not limited to, the queer community. and I am sick and tired of those norms being replicated in fucking fandom discourse, of all places

#this is coming from an aroace person #who is not only v autistic which is undoubtedly a contributing factor to this #but I also literally study queerness for a living #idk I saw a post trying to put some superiority onto emphasising platonic relationships over romantic ones #and that’s great!#it definitely counteracts the alloromantic norm!#but god I wish we could move past the concepts entirely #I understand all abstract terms and what have you are literally there to communicate these things #but idk idk #as someone who has to navigate this bs every time I have a close relationship with a non-relative I’m so tired of it #like even in self defined qprs sometimes romance and sex happen!!!! that does not mean it isn’t a qpr/ isn’t platonic !!!!!#why is it if you’re best friends with your romantic partner you have to refer to them using the romantic terms of not alloromanticism #on the same vein expecting aromantic ppl to never want or enjoy any acts or behaviour called “romantic is such bs #like what is romance ? what actions are romantic that cannot also be platonic?#why differentiate relationships so strictly if not for religious/legal/etc regulations and norms #is this perspective called something #there’s no way I’m the only person to have this pov #like is this relationship anarchy ? idek if that’s a term but it’s what comes to mind #aromantism #aroace #aro pride #arospec #qpr #qpr concepts #relationship anarchy

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waywardstation · 1 month ago

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the moment he remembered Emmet...

Out of all the moments to remembers... it's now...

Mishearing Ember for Emmet, subconciously reaching out to someone who isn't there. The fog surrounding his memories is lifting, returning to their original station.

I'm sure he's at the point where he's not fully there anymore. At this moment he's probably back in Unova waiting for Emmet, ready to finish off the day at the Battle Subway.

It has been a long day and he is eager to get some rest to sleep. Today he's extra tired from work. He's sure that Emmet is as well. He's so tired and he wants to rest. "Sleep" tugging at him.

The level of pain has been through the roof with this! But it is comforting that the next time he comes to be and is more clear there IS gonna be Emmet at his side along with Akari most mayhaps!

Gosh I already know this fic is gonna rip me to shreds but I'm gonna be all there for that!

And the WIPs and the way you're writing is definitely making this a ride I wanna be in until the end!

In regards to this IWLYB WIP I posted

Correct, Ingo is losing himself at the end here, probably not sure of what he is and isn’t supposed to be seeing or hearing anymore, and not being well enough to realize he should care that’s even happening. The brain is just going through everything it still has.

But man the way you phrase it, to him he is just waiting for Emmet after a long day of work and being tired and just wanting to sleep. Ohhh ow ow <;( OWW AUGH

But you are also correct in that his next lucid moment will be waking up to see Emmet and Akari. He’s got it easy past this point, just lose consciousness and wake up at the good part. Akari’s the one that’s left alone with all the hard work to get him to that point!

I’m so glad you’re looking forward to the fic and you’re enjoying the WIPs!! Thank you so much!!

#wayward’s asks #I Won’t Leave You Behind #gonna be honest for a long time I’ve been like ‘Ember’s name is so close to Emmet I should use that’ and didn’t know what to do with it #until I started writing this and went oh #once again a lot of this is what links this fic to the song ‘Curses’ by Acloudyskye #it’s got lines like #‘watch me disappear as I’m leaving here coming up with words till the end is near’#‘I’ve fallen off the earth again and all the world rushes underside’#‘Is that why? all these storms are getting worse but as I sink into the dirt I feel fine’#it feels very reminiscent of someone going numb in every sense as they lose themselves #that’s how I take it at least and apply it to this fic #I still want to do an animatic to that song #one day

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grimmweepers · 3 months ago

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life comes at you so fast

#tw personal #tw death #tw cancer #not my usual silly goofy post but it’s hard to remain that way when there’s a lot weighing on your mind #cancer sucks #and it’s unfair how quickly it can take people from us #one moment they seem fine and the next they’re in the icu with a week left to live #he passed two nights ago #i wasn’t planning to post about it but i have the tendency to disassociate from my grief #so here i am instead of wherever the hell!#it’s heartbreaking because he and his wife weren’t just my mum’s bosses - they were long-time friends #i have clear childhood memories of playing at their house with their son #his youngest child is only 3 years old #as soon as he found out he started giving his final messages to his staff #obviously nobody wants to die in that situation #but you could feel how much he *wanted to live*#when i was told about his death it was in the morning and it didn’t feel real #every time i had seen him in the last year he always had a smile on his face #it’s always been hard for me to deal with the prospect of death #and understand how fragile life is #how REAL mortality is #it hits even harder when it happens to someone who was so FULL of life #sighs #life comes at you fast #sometimes in all directions and in every possible and testing way imaginable #i’ve been trying to write and feel any sense of normalcy this evening but for a multitude of reasons i have a sinking feeling in my stomach #sometimes when i’m upset i try recycle the feeling into excitement or happiness over something else #yeah … i can’t really do that tonight #apologies if my energy is bleh. hold your loved ones close. now i return you to my regular scheduled programming

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beastking-golion · 10 days ago

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Did christian linke actually do anything wrong beyond saying he didn’t see jayvik as romantic or are you guys just losing your shit over a difference of opinion?

#dex rants #genuinely I can’t tell cause you guys are acting like he shot someone’s dog #seriously yall are saying his name like a curse or smthing #unless he actually did something wrong you gotta fuckin calm down #people are gonna disagree with you especially on something like this so what #unless he’s harassing people I don’t see the issue #however it seems like a lot of you guys are starting to harass people instead #I must ask is it really appropriate to turn someone into the enemy over something so harmless?#people view character relationships different all the time due in part to opinion and personal experience #personally I’m jayvik crazy I think of them as painfully annoyingly and frustratingly gay for each other however my friend sees them as an-#extension of his close friendships and how he’d go that far without any romance holding him to it #this doesn’t hurt me nor does it hurt him for feeling that way #but it does hurt to harass someone incessantly and twist words into daggers #you need to learn to move on #take a nice deep breath and say ‘we disagree’ and instead focus on enjoying yourself with the people who agree #christian linke #arcane #arcane spoilers #every year that passes I realize people are so quick to anger #often times they make themselves the most upset with their own feelings #it’s kinda frustrating liking popular mlm ships because so often people resort to arguing over actually enjoying themselves #jayvik I’m so sorry they’re doing this to you #and before you say ‘well what if you held this opinion on [serious matter]???’ we’re not talking about anything else we’re just talking-#about shipping okay?#different situations have different nuance #anyways I’m gonna go make a jayvik playlist and kick n my feet and giggle looking at these fuckin 30 year old men /gen

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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 2 months ago

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love how hua cheng is just like "I support xie lian rights and xie lian wrongs, except he can never do anything wrong ever even when he kills a bunch of people. Go off king" and Xie Lian is like “This is my beautiful husband, he has committed war crimes, but haven’t we all?”

And their relationship is somehow healthier than anything I've ever been in.

#emma posts #to be fair everything involving me didn’t have me aware that it was a thing #but I couldn’t compete anyway #tcgf #is it dating someone if they never told you they were dates and you misinterpreted them?#not asking for a friend #this is just straight up every situation I’ve been in #that’s as close as I’ve ever actually gotten to dating someone #I’ve witnessed plenty of other people’s relationships though #‘we’ve been dating for six months’ ‘those were dates?!’ ‘you asked me out first’ ‘and you rejected me!’ <- closest to dating I’ve been #all the other times I didn’t even ask the person out first. the just flat out never said it was a date and I thought we were just chilling #and all the other times I’ve asked someone out they rejected me and then DIDN’T ask me out without telling me they were asking me out #how was I supposed to know he changed his mind?#I’m still not over how I didn’t know we were dating until after we broke up #just the sheer comedy of my love life gets to me #comedy of errors ass love life #I’m getting really side tracked #Xie Liana’s friends were totally reasonable to think that someone stalking someone for several centuries is alarming #but somehow those two had it happen in the healthiest way possible???#I respect it tbh #only healthy relationship I’ve ever had that much sheer dedication in is me and my favorite cat which is a very maternal relationship #and i didn’t even actually kill the people who threatened him. they weren’t real threats but they knew they did psychological damage #to this day I wish I bit them until I tasted blood #but being in detention with them would have meant being around them longer than I had to be 😑#they have probably changed a lot since then but I still never want to see them again in my life #that might actually have played a slight role in how feral I get about protecting my cat 🐈‍⬛#I’m getting into personal issues again #our co-dependent parental dynamic. me and my cat. is perfectly healthy and I will not change it #said by someone who is not healthy but definitely will not change this specific thing #and the co-dependency is in fract mutual. that’s why it’s CO dependent

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apotelesmaa · 10 months ago

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I desperately need an event that’s just tsukasa/emu/minori/saki + kanade. Four people who do not have an off switch filled with boundless energy vs one girl with all the fortitude of a tissue. Hydrogen bombs vs frail little baby.

#project sekai #it would be so funny. please colopale.#comparing minori & tsukasa’s choreo to kanade’s in the 3Dmvs for the anniversary songs #is so funny every time. kanade is barely moving while minori & tsukasa are dancing like their life depends on it.#minori and Tsukasa adding fun little jumps and running around the stage while kanade did one dance move and is close to death.#I’m not personally a fan of kanade’s singing voice (being pelted with rotten fruit) bc of how breathy it is #(side effect of having a vocal performance major sister) but I do think it fits her.#can someone do stamina training with her so she won’t die holding a note. please.

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demigodofhoolemere · 7 months ago

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Me through most of Boom: Wow, this is a really solid dramatic episode.

Me when Moffat needlessly sprinkles in anti-faith sentiments without specifying that it’s blind faith in bad things that the Doctor doesn’t like, which makes it come off like the Doctor is just against religion generally:

#doctor who #dw critical #spoilers #dw spoilers #i get it edgelord you don’t care for religion. you don’t have to alienate religious members of the audience.#i at least appreciated that the doctor agreed with splice that gone and dead are different things and told her to keep the faith #but like. he immediately thereafter still tells mundy that he doesn’t like faith and spent the whole episode disparaging it.#which just feels so wrong for a show that’s supposed to be open minded about the beliefs and cultures all across the universe #i hate when writers gratuitously make the doctor take a hard and broad stance on something that he would NOT #reminds me of s8 when twelve suddenly hated all soldiers #as if some of his closest friends haven’t been soldiers? brigadier? benton and yates? sara?#big difference between corrupt military and literally every soldier #the same way there is a big difference between a corrupt religious organization or individuals who use religion as an excuse for cruelty #and like. ALL faith and the idea of having a faith that you live by whatsoever.#just because his comments were aimed at something corrupt doesn’t mean they weren’t WAY too sweeping as if he meant it on the whole #i definitely enjoyed the bulk of the episode but that just felt like it was done in bad faith and made me uncomfortable #and i just read moffat’s comment on the thoughts and prayers thing and UGH #i get why there are circumstances in which that can feel hollow — usually if it’s coming from a corporation that could actually do somethin #but can we not villainize all the normal people who genuinely mean that with love?#people who often CAN’T do anything but say prayers for you?#that IS a legitimate response and a legitimate action #someone can’t physically aid you but cares to take the time to talk to the God of the universe about you and your need and plead for you #don’t tell me that isn’t love or that it’s not really doing anything #sometimes that’s all you CAN do and it’s more than people give it credit for #blatant disregard and willful misunderstanding of faith like this just rub me wrong #it’s painting with a broad brush and it’s close minded #and yes i’m gonna post this. i’m feeling controversial.#my love/aggravation relationship with moffat continues #in the wise words of kira nerys. if you don’t have faith you can’t understand it and if you do then no explanation is necessary.

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alittleemo · 1 month ago

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mannnnnnnnbb fuck November I’m so tired of feeling lonely in my own life.

#lee’s bullshit #even being in [redacted] will not save you from the depths of November #trying to remind myself things are always changing and I can’t stop putting myself out there but I am tired.#what I am doing clearly is not enough in any respect and I am tired of feeling so worn to the bone all the time.#huge social miss today at the function. woke up late and ruined the schedule. couldn’t make a clear decision on dinner.#haven’t found a replacement roommate. haven’t finished my portfolio. haven’t applied to internships. haven’t finished my final project.#behind on everything and with every step I take I get pulled further and further backwards.#my roommate is graduating early and i feel like it’s my fault.#i shouldn’t blame myself for someone else’s bad behavior but im still beating myself up for being a cause for it.#my other roommate wants to move out to live on her own next year.#also blaming myself for that even tho its always on me to fix the mess of housing every damn semester #I’m just so tired of feeling like I’m not doing enough and even when I am that it just simply doesn’t matter.#saw one of my friends today but only for an hour. texting the group is like sending a blind pigeon out in a gale.#I know that things will get better but it’s just so hard . if someone genuinely asked how I was doing I could cry on the spot.#none of my friends are close enough anymore not at home not at school not in my family. there’s nowhere to go.#just tired. Going to go to bed soon. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

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rainswept · 10 months ago

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saving u all from the asshole fuckboy aventurine agenda half of this fandom is so hellbent on portraying

#i think he’s very Tongues & Teeth by the crane wives but. contrary to popular belief. i don’t think he’d be the one singing #yeah he’s not stupid but i could see him being so in love……#if someone managed to bring his guard down and was with him for years #not sure if he could bring himself to leave once the kisses started cutting his lips and the touches started bruising #maybe i’m ‼️ wrong but idk this man screams fucked up attachment 2 me #he’s used to pain.. i think he’d put up with it #at first he’d flee. if it was anywhere near the start of the relationship? yeah he wouldn’t stay if he felt he was on “the losing end of #the bet”#but i also personally believe it would take a lot to be romantically involved with him at all #like i think it would have to be a friends first thing. slowburn in fanfic terms.#idk i’m just nottt getting the one night stand vibe from him.#so like i said if someone was with him for a longgg time… and truly tore his walls down.. i doubt he’d be so quick to run #i think he keeps himself closed off. but when he does love he loves wholly and fully to the point of it hurting.#not out of malice but out of sheer intensity..#yeahhhh tongues & teeth…..#love is love but instead of in the gay way it’s “sure it hurts every time it happens but at least i feel something”#probably the gay way too though

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incorrectquotesideas-deactivated · 7 months ago

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Person A: Do you want a beer? I’m paying.

Person B, going through the restaurant’s menu: No. Ugh, where’s the good stuff?

Person A, half jokingly: I thought you were an alcoholic.

Person B: Exactly. I’d need at least, like, four beers — without food — to get slightly buzzed, and my stomach can’t fit over 2 beers in it. I’m small. I’ll have a rum, neat.

#source: me #incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes ideas #incorrect quotes prompts #tw: drug mention #tw: drugs #i used to be so small when all i did was heroin and ketamine. since i started drinking (i only started drinking every night because the-#-opiate withdrawal was so fucking bad alcohol was the only thing that kept my legs from kicking all night long and my skin from feeling-#-like it was on cold wet fire somehow)#anyway. when all i did was opiates ™ i was like 45 kg and i’m 165 aka 5’5 like i looked like a sickly model #now it’s only been a month drinking and not doing morphine or some shit and i already gained 12 kg it’s insane i’m like almost 60 kg now #i’m queueing this for a month from now so hopefully it’ll have been 2 months when this gets posted #and like i say i’m an alcoholic cause i don’t think it’s normal to drink like 5 nights a week but i’m not chemically dependent on it like i-#-was with opiates like i’m sober half the time. ive never done surgery while drunk for instance. there was this one time i had just had 4-#-shots in the bathroom in secret cause i was having a panic attack and didn’t know what else to do but anyway.#and they asked me if i wanted to close up on a tubal ligation and i passed on the opportunity even though i was Fine bc idk i just didn’t-#-feel good ab it. which is more than i can say for my professor tbh #like some other medical intern said ‘wow it must be so hard having to be On Call 24/7. like i bet u can’t even drink’#and he said ‘oh come on surgeons have lives too. in fact i drank more than a few beers just a few hours ago lol’ and proceeded to cut-#-someone open #anyway. yeah. i don’t get drunk at work yk #felt like i had to make that clear

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gregmarriage · 30 days ago

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am i coming on my period, or am i just crying about my love life for the billionth time, just because?

#answer may vary #i woke up this morning randomly thinking about my ex #like my most serious and longest relationship to date who i was very much in love with #and who completely broke my heart and who took FOREVER to get over #and who i don’t even think of now #but like for some reason i was thinking of them this morning #like i was IN on that relationship #i should also note i was 17 so hearing wedding bells probably was a result of that imaoooo #but like FUCK i loved them and it completely destroyed me when they broke up with me #and i don’t know #i was literally a KID and i don’t think i’ve known love like that since or even felt it #and honestly? maybe the reason i had such bad relationships after was because i was looking for that person in someone else #that’s not even to say i’m still in love with them #i’m just saying that’s probably what it was back then #but i don’t know….#blah blah there’s someone for everyone and i’ll find my person someday #but like excuse me while i listen to the smiths and cry bc i feel like it will never happen #and every time i think i get close it gets snatched away and i get messed around and i’m so bored of it #siri play nobody by mitski #gwen rambles #gwenposting

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pkmn-smashorpass · 11 months ago

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There are infact other femboys present.

- 🦨 Skunk anon

I had a feeling

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kaleidoscope-ize · 2 months ago

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love having to run a whole goddamn press tour just to make sure I don’t lose any friends over one person intentionally using their influence to lie about me

#I’m almost fucking over defending myself idc #if you’ve known me for a year and then you question my character after hearing of 1 interaction that doesn’t even fit who I’ve always been #then idk maybe none of them were as close as I had hoped #being backed into a corner and having to defend myself without sounding defensive and being made to rehash heartbreak isjust fucking tiring #either you know who I am or you don’t. I don’t need to look in your eyes every time I see you wondering if there’s any trust left in them #I refuse to engage in bullshit drama just so someone can play victim but then they make me decide whether I’m going to fight back or #lose an entire social circle #idk maybe if someone’s been consistently behaving the same way the whole time you’ve known them and the other burns bridges left and right #then the bridge-burner says something counter to everyone’s perception of that person #maybe you should just be able to see it for what it is and not give it a second thought instead of putting your friend on trial #venting #my ramblings

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archivistinblue · 10 months ago

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don’t think i didn’t notice you say our family sir

#every time i read adam’s route i am SCREAMING #i played as a ‘nice’ mc this time and it feels so different than my usual standoffish stoic/intimidating mc with him esp #ur honor i’m in love with this man and HE broke MY heart case closed #V interested in book 4 #ESPECIALLY w the fact sera mentioned mc can ‘be’ w someone else in adam’s route #ppl hate on the slow burn but this is the ONLY one i’ll stick it out for #twc #the wayhaven chronicles #twc adam

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greg-montgomery · 11 months ago

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girl i don’t even care anymore like he’s never on my mind fr i’m free literally the definition of healed like who even cares anymore cause i know i don’t

#someone shoot me #i guess i’m just sick of getting a stomach ache every time someone mentions his name!#so i was invited to go out with my old team which would be amazing if He wasn’t there <3 #like why am i shaking and having a stomach ache at the thought of going #and i could like focus on everyone else the whole time we’re there but we live fucking close #we’ll have to take the train together like old times #literally end me rn #i’ll probably make an excuse or something but i can’t avoid it forever #i’m in hell #the worst part is that he most likely gives no fucks whether i’m gonna be there or not so yeahhhhhh ❤️❤️🌹🌹❣️❣️🌠🌠🌠🌠#clownery tag

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