#it’s because i let them treat me however they want until i finally get sick of it
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bipolardaisies · 26 days ago
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the thing is she doesn’t even regret what she did. she doesn’t even think she did anything wrong. and yet months later the very mention of her name makes me freeze up. but yeah she’s the victim bc i finally snapped and said something mean.
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gothicchildofthenight · 2 months ago
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Dead-Bird
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FEM DNI‼️ (She/her, She/they, etc.) - you’ll be blocked.
request: “hihi ! can you write rodrick x ftm reader thats just like , treated as one of the guys in rodricks friend group and has a sense of belonging , then heather outs the reader or something n rodrick stands up for them (???) im not sure where im going with this request u can interpret it however u want”
summary: moving to plainview for a fresh start while you’re transitioning. you meet rodrick heffley, resident emo, and become inseparable. what happens when heather hills gets jealous thats he’s turned all his attention on you?
descriptions: ftm!reader, intended for a black reader but can be read by any race, rodrick might be ooc (??), i made heather really mean (and homophobic 😭) but in reality i have no hate to her HER ACTRESS IS GORGINA, slur drop (f word), maybe the reader a girly kid sorry if that upsets anyone, cursing, throwing up (only happens once and i don’t think it’s detailed), let me know if i missed anything!!
a/n: yall, i know i said friday, but circumstances change (especially when baby siblings are sick asf) so i’m sorry. you’re allowed to yell at me in the comments!! BUT ITS FINALLY HERE‼️ pls let me know if you like it, and if you think i should change anything. i can always improve!!
word count: 8.29k (i got carried away 😭)
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For as long as you can remember, you knew you didn’t feel right with who you were. You wore the dresses, the skirts, joined the girls line when you were split off and you were ok with it, but it never felt right. You wanted to get your hands dirty, skin your knee, and you could do all of that with the girls, but you wanted to do it with the boys.
Your parents seemed to acknowledge this and your family just labeled you a tomboy. It wasn’t until your last year of middle school that you realized who you were, what you were. You were a boy, you were trans.
After going back and forth with yourself, you go to your parents with tears streaming down your face. With the way you and your parents were raised, it didn’t seem like they were going to be accepting.
“Are you done blubbering?” Your mom had asked you, which made you cry even more because you didn’t know if that could be good or bad. “We knew this could be a possibility with you just wanting to be with little boys.”
“Just because your grandparents have a skewed perspective on gender doesn’t mean we do.” Your dad joined in with a hand on your shoulder.
And with that started your transition journey. First with therapy, then doctor visits, and finally testosterone. When you started taking testosterone (end of sophomore year), you and your parents moved to give you a fresh start. With their careers, they could work anywhere as long as they could travel.
Plainview was just that, plain, but it got the job done so you can lay low. You couldn’t even point it out on a map, but it seemed like a great place to get a fresh start. Family homes, mom and pop shops, and maybe 6 schools around. No one knows you, seeing as you moved almost cross-country, so perfect.
Your first day wasn’t anything like you imagined. You thought you would be clocked immediately, especially since in the rush to move and get enrolled in school you had forgotten to get your haircut. You lucked out though, because the only reason someone (besides a teacher) came to talk to you was because of your Pearl Jam shirt.
That was the day you met Rodrick Heffley, resident “bad boy” with a band that wasn’t shit (you could say that seeing as you were in it) and a taste for rock and metal. That’s who came to talk about your shirt.
“You listen to Pearl Jam?” He asked, and you were immediately on the defense.
You knew you didn’t exactly look the part of emo metalhead, you had heard it your whole life growing up. “Listen to your normal music,” was a common one, and you won’t lie, it hurt. Especially from the popular white kids because it was just another tally mark against you.
“Yes? What about it?” You snapped.
“Woah, didn’t know I touched a nerve,” his face had reddened a little, but besides that it didn't change. “I was just gonna ask your favorite song.”
“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes. “I like Why Go from the Ten album.”
“Cool, cool, that’s a good one.” And then you both just stood there staring at each other. “Do you want to come over to my house after school?”
“I don’t even know you, kid,” you chuckled, “what are you, a kindergartener?”
“Well excuse me for trying to be nice.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m Rodrick.”
He held out his hand, which you hesitantly shook. “I’m (Y/N).”
“So are you coming over or what?”
And just like that he became one of the most important people in your life– along with his best friends; Drew, Ward, Chris, and Ben. Present day, you are never without Rodrick, and he, you. It doesn’t take a lot to convince the other to do something you probably shouldn’t, which leads to you guys getting in trouble a lot.
Like how one time towards the end of junior year in the middle of the night, Rodrick and you snuck out for a carnival almost 2 hours away. You had been relaxing at home, reading, when you heard little tinks coming from your window. You knew it was Rodrick throwing rocks at your window. He always did that when he’d sneak out of his house to come to yours.
“What the hell do you want?” You jokingly whisper-yelled as you opened your window.
“Come to a fair with me!” He whispered back.
“Last time I checked, the summer fair didn’t come until after school ended?”
“Because it’s not the one in Plainview, it’s the one in Huntington! Just come on!” He groans.
“First of all, I’m in pajamas!” You motioned up and down yourself. “Second of all, that’s almost two hours away!”
“So what, you’ve snuck out with me before! What makes this time any different? Come on, (Y/N), live a little!”
“Fuck it, fine!” and you closed your window to change. Your parents were long gone asleep, so you doubt they’d check on you, meaning you were in the clear.
You settled on baggy pants and a short sleeve, which is what you almost always wear, before you jumped out your window (you were on the second floor, yea, but your house wasn’t that big so it wasn’t a huge jump). Rodrick was waiting in his van, so you climbed into the passenger seat and set off.
You took a mini nap on the way, but after you woke up, you guys didn't shut up. From school to new albums, you talked about it all. You guys always were like this, (still were) even though at this point you’d only known each other a couple months. It scared you a little, how close you two had gotten in such a little period of time, mainly because you don’t want him to drop you because of who you were before.
“We’re here!” He pulled into a parking spot. You both climbed out of the van and met in front of it. “You brought your wallet, right?”
“Hanging with you? Of course not.” You deadpanned, before pulling out your wallet with a smile. “Why would I go to a fair without my wallet?”
He just rolled his eyes, slung his arm around your neck and walked to the ticket booth. Once in the fair, you guys set a plan to leave around 2:00 so you can get back in time for school.
You run around together, ride to ride, concession stand every chance you can get, and then barfing into a trash can. “I will never sneak out with you again.”
“Sure, ok,” Rodrick scoffed. “Come on, I want to ride the ferris wheel before going home!”
“Sure,” you rolled your eyes as you wiped your mouth, “just let me finish tossing my organs into this dumpster.”
“Let's go, smart ass.”
Surprisingly, there wasn’t a long line for the wheel. You’re on it in 5 minutes, and at the top in another 5.
“Told you it was worth it.” Rodrick teased as you looked out to the neon fair lights.
“Yea, yea, whatever,” you mumbled, too busy looking out at the eye widening view.
There’s a moment of silence. “Y’know, I’m glad we met each other.”
“Ew, don’t get all sentimental on me. Especially on a ferris wheel, that's just cringey.” You joke.
“I’m being serious!” He sighs. “Like I love the band, but I think me and you got closer in the span of a few months than me and them since middle school. It’s crazy.”
“Yea, sure, ok, dude,” you look back out to the lights. You couldn’t look him in the eyes because you had this warm feeling in your gut that you couldn’t place.
Rodrick doesn’t allow you to, though, as he grabs your face in one hand to make you look at him. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I want you to say it,” he stares into your eyes, seeming to search for something.
“Say what, jackass?” You feel your face catch on fire in the dark of the night.
“That I’m your best friend.” He looks so serious, and his eyes never leave yours.
“You’re my best friend,” you roll your eyes with a grin, “can you let me go now?”
“We’ll work on it.” He pats the side of your face and then faces the lights outside the wheel.
When you're both off the ferris wheel, you’re headed back home. The car ride home was silent, you in your own head and Rodrick seemed tired. You offered for him to stay over and sleep until school starts, but he declines, knowing his parents will wake him up in the morning.
You pull up to your house but just sit there for a second. “It was a bunch of fun, as always. Til we sneak out again.”
“See ya,” he smiles and lightly punches your shoulder.
“See ya, dude,” and you head to your house.
When you see him pull off, you lightly close your front door. As you turn around, your soul leaves your body.
“I don’t even want to know,” your mom holds her hand up to silence you. “Phone, now.”
You sigh, but do it.
It seemed that’s what happened with Rodrick, too, so for the rest of the school year you and Rodrick could only contact each other at school. He still snuck over, that wasn't going to stop.
You don’t regret leaving with him that night, because you had never had someone willingly be that close to you.
Currently, you’re all huddled up in the hot attic that is his room, but it was the only place without younger kids so you don’t complain much.
“Dude, I thought this year was gonna be it!” Rodrick complains as he lays upside down on his bed.
“Oh, it’s gonna be it, alright,” Ben rolls his eyes and throws a paper ball in Rodricks direction. “It’s going to be the year I finally strangle you if you mention Heather Hills one more time.” We all chuckle at how true it was.
Right now, he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about Heather Hills. Even though you had come in the middle of junior year, it was quick knowledge that he had a crush on her since middle school. At first it was cute, but after some unforeseen circumstances, you actually hated hearing her name. It wasn’t like you had a crush on him (It was), but the fact that she didn’t give him the time of day, and even when she did it was just to make fun of him or to have him do something.
“I second that, it’s fucking annoying,” you push him off the bed, seeing as you were on it right next to him.
“Ow, you dick!” he sits up and rubs his head.
“We’re, like, four months from graduating, if she wanted you, she would’ve said it.”
“Yea but-” Ward cuts him off.
“But nothing, bro, she don’t want your ass.”
It’s what you’ve been telling him this whole time, but you didn’t want to be too pressed about it because you didn’t want him to think you like her. You didn’t like her, you liked the one who liked her. You hadn’t realized it until you saw Heather sweetening him up one time and it hurt to watch– and not in a disgusted way.
You had no idea about your sexuality, you knew you liked boys even before you transitioned, but as you became more comfortable with yourself girls weren’t so bad either. You had been on a few dates with mostly girls (there weren’t many out guys in a small town, who knew?), but no one was Rodrick.
“I mean, I know, subconsciously,” he points to his head, “but she has this way of being in your head, no matter how mean she is.”
“Blah blah blah, bruh we don’t caaaarreee!” You roll your eyes and fall back on his bed. “She’s probably going to, like, Harvard or some shit and gonna marry rich. She doesn’t have time for loser guys like ourselves unless we can do something for her. It’s been that way since middle school, and it’ll be that way til the end of time”
“Major harsh, dude,” Drew pipes up.
“Whatever,” You get up and grab your backpack. “I’m going home, see you bozos tomorrow.”
You know why it bothers you so much, but you didn’t think you went that far. Hell, even Ward said something, but you were the one who was being “major harsh”? You roll your eyes as you stomp off to your house.
“Major harsh, my ass,” you murmur to yourself.
Tomorrow comes faster than you’d like. It wasn’t like you blew up on the guys, but you were pissed that you had been shut down. You kind of wanted to avoid them and go straight to class, but when you exit your house you see Rodricks van. The ride to school was pretty quiet except for the “good morning,” you all exchanged amongst yourselves.
“You were right,” Rodrick nudges you. When you give him a confused look, he goes on, “Heather is never gonna want me, and I’m taking myself off the market for other babes.”
“Oh, all those poor girls, saved,” you chuckle. Now you kind of feel bad, “but seriously, my bad if I went too far with what I was saying. I don’t have an excuse for what I said, but I am sorry.”
“Nah, I needed that good kick in the ass so I could wake up. Thanks, bro.” He playfully punches your shoulder.
“No problem, bro.”
As we pull up to school, you see Heather and her friends around their red convertible bug. You didn’t know whose it was, it was passed around more than a blunt in your group. Every morning they were there, and every morning Rodrick went to talk to them, talk to her, like clockwork.
“So are we skipping today, boys?” Rodrick suggests.
In a unison of ‘Hell Yea’s, you were the voice of reason. “Fuck no.”
They all groan, as they usually do when you’re right. We’re walking away from the van as you explain, “Y’all don’t have enough brain cells or credits to afford to skip. If yall want to blow this place, ya gotta graduate. You don’t even have to have honors.”
“Whatever, nerd,” Rodrick shoves you with a chuckle. “You can be a suck up and stay all day, but we’re outta here.”
“You can suck up on my balls, jackass,” you laugh and shove him back.
“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” he shoves back.
“You’d love that!” but you don’t push him, you look in front of you.
You expected to see the red car, but you saw the stairs. You had passed the car?
You look behind you, and you still see the group talking about someone cheating on someone’s boyfriend, but you notice Heather Hills looking at you.
This wasn’t the first time Rodrick had ignored Heather for you, but that was at lunch. He always talked to her in the morning. You don’t know why, but you knew that this was her last straw.
When you had first moved here, you weren’t on her radar until you had talked to him. She was just standing off to the side and you didn’t realize it then, but he was just talking to her and stopped to talk to you. You could feel her glare, but when you looked at her she gave you a sugary sweet smile. That wasn’t the last time you would see that fake smile, but after this morning you knew it would be.
“I don’t know what you told him, but you need to untell him.”
The voice wasn’t unfamiliar to you, but you weren’t used to it being directed at you.
“Hi, Heather, how are you on this beautiful day?” You smile at her, though it was probably closer to a grimace.
“Cut the shit, you heard me.” She growls as you put your stuff in your locker.
“Why does it have to be me saying anything to him? Maybe he actually grew some balls and a brain.”
“You’re like a lost puppy around him, of course you said something.”
“Well, Heather,” you huff as you drop your bag and face her, “he used to follow you around like a lost puppy and I got sick of it because you were using him. I don’t know why it bothered me so much, but it did, so I told him that.”
“I know why,” she leans closer to your face with a whisper. “It’s because you’re a gay little bitch who hopes he looks in your direction but he wouldn’t even spit near you. I see how you look at him, but just remember he looks at me like that.”
“Ok,” you roll your eyes. “Why do you care so much? You admitted several times that you don’t like him.”
“He needs to like me, not the other way around. It gives other guys the idea that they can be with me and I can get gifts out of it. So if you don’t fix this, I can get so much dirt on you it’d make your head spin.”
“I think the bleach fumes are finally getting to your brain,” you scoff, trying not to seem nervous. You didn’t think that she could get to your secret, but that bitch has power in high places. But you had come so far without being outed, so you didn’t think it’d happen this close to your escape. “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not gonna do that because you’re a bitch who doesn’t deserve any attention.”
She slams your locker in your face, “You’ll regret that.” And as she walks away you roll your eyes and mumble a “bitch”.
She doesn’t even want him, but I can’t have him? Whatever, bitch.
You decided to keep your little interaction from Rodrick and the gang because you knew it’d open up a) what she could find on you and b) did Heather actually like Rodrick and she’s lying? You just let them lead the conversation as you try to rationalize with yourself.
How would she find out your trans? You’ve been stealth for a year and your school medical records are locked up tight. She can’t out anything but you being gay and even that was a little chest tightening. At least you’ll still be a man, even if it was a gay one. Being outed as trans could shatter people’s perception of you and you’ll be that weird “girl” again.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” Rodrick asks you and you realize you’re the only two in the van now.
“Nothing, just exhausted. I need to be asleep right now,” you pretend to rub your eyes.
“Whatever you say, dude,” he sighs, but puts his hand on your shoulder and looks you in the eyes. “I’m here whenever you wanna talk, you seem to have a lot on your mind.”
It makes you freeze. It’s not like he isn’t always like this, he’s your best friend, but it doesn’t help after your conversation with Heather. He does this with every guy in the group, he may put on a front of being a dick to his brother, Greg, but he really cares for his friends. You have to convince yourself that this was just that, nothing more.
“Eyes on the road, weirdo,” you shrug his arm off with a nervous laugh. “I told you I was fine, I’m just tired.”
“Ok, dude,” he rolls his eyes.
Before you know it, he drops the rest of the guys off at their houses. You’re usually the last one to get dropped off since more often than not you’re the first one to be picked up. But when Rodrick passes your house, you have more than a few questions.
“Where the hell are you taking me?” You sigh.
“Obviously you won’t tell me what’s actually wrong, so we’re going to hang out til that frown turns upside down!” He smiles as he passes his house, too.
“How did I become friends with such a cornball? Aren’t you supposed to be the resident bad boy, go back to that.”
“You know you love me,” he smirks.
More than you know, that’s the reason I’m in this mess! You almost say, but stick with, “Sure, whatever you say.”
You know exactly what he’s going to do, you guys do it every time one of y’all are going through it. Head to the gas station to get slushies and snacks, then go out to your favorite clearing in the woods. He even does it with Greg sometimes, even though he likes to act like he hates his younger brothers.
“Isn’t the point of a slushy to mix all of the flavors together?” Rodrick rolls his eyes.
“We have this conversation every time we come here, I get two flavors that compliment each other! All of those flavors confuse your mouth and you lose taste buds.”
“You lie just like my mother, which means you lie like shit.” And for that you slap his shoulder. “OW!”
“Don’t talk about Susan like that!” You say, jokingly offended. You go to hit him again, but he grabs your hand.
“You’re a fucking nut case.”
“OMG!” You hear an all too familiar voice excitedly yelp. “I thought I heard your voice!”
“Oh, hey Heather.” Rodick turns to talk to her, forgetting to let go of your hand. “What are you doing in here?”
“My friends wanted to stop in here to get some junk.” She waves her hand behind her and rolls her eyes. “I obviously don’t eat stuff like that, I mean, look at me.” Rodrick doesn’t even glance down when she motions at herself.
“Good for you, me and (Y/N) are actually in here for some snacks, too.”
She finally looks at you, and then at you and Rodricks combined hands. You squirm under her stare and take your hand out of Rodricks. He looks at you in seeming confusion, but doesn’t say anything.
“I didn’t see you there, hey (Y/N)!” She has a smile on her face, but you can see in her eyes the amount of hatred she has for you.
“Hey, Heather…” You almost whisper, and then turn to seem busy with your slushy.
“Well, we should get out of here, bye Heather.”
“Oh, yeah, I think my friends went back to the car, so I should head out, too.” She turns to leave, but looks back over her shoulder and waves seductively. “Bye, Rodrick!”
When you hear the front door bell ring, you finally release the breath you had been holding in. “Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself.
“What was that?” Rodrick turns to you with a smile and points behind him. “She’s never willingly came up to me unless she needs something. And she just wanted…conversation?”
“Your guess is as good as mine,” You paint on a smirk even though your heart is racing. She had seen you with Rodrick, holding hands (completely his fault!), and he couldn’t be any less interested in her! You just know your fate is sealed.
“Well, let’s get this shit paid for and go.” He grabs up your food and you grab the slushies.
With everything paid for, you guys hop back into the van and head into the trail a few blocks down. It wasn’t anything official, but you hadn’t gotten in trouble for being out here, so yall just kept going.
You park the van and head into the back, opening the doors for some fresh air.
“So are you ready to tell me what’s up?” Rodrick asks after a few sips of his slushy abomination.
“I told you that I’m just exhausted.” You keep up your front.
“And I told you that you lie like my mom,” he sighs. “So you might as well just spill it.”
“It’s just something that me and my family have to deal with, you don’t have to worry about it!” You know if you bring your family into it, he’ll stop pushing it because he knows your parents don’t play.
“Ok, ok, I’ll let it go.” He raises his hand in defense.
You don’t respond, and you guys are submerged into silence once again. You exchange looks when you don’t think the other is looking, but besides that you take in the forest around you.
Heather could never experience these moments with Rodrick and understand how precious it is. Rodrick has always been the weird “bad boy” (people literally only say this because of his clothes and that makes you roll your eyes) who some of the girls wanted but if it got out they did like him, they’d be made fun of. You see how some of the girls look at him when he isn’t looking, and it hurts your heart. You know they have more of a chance than you ever would.
But with you, he was never like this. He was the goofy, caring friend who’d drop everything if you said the word. Heather only sees him as an object that gives her affection, but you see him as he truly is; a guy who loves and just wants it back. He just wants to be seen.
“Y’know you’re my best friend, right?” You blurt before you can think about it.
“Only took you a year to be genuine about it,” he nudges your shoulder.
“What?”
“The ferris wheel.” He states like you’re just supposed to know. And you do.
“You still remember that?” You gape.
“Anyway, yes I am your best friend, just like how you’re mine.” He grins at you, and then he drops it, “you’re not planning anything are you?”
“Oh my god, a guy can’t express his appreciation for his best friend?” You throw your hands up.
“I’m watching you,” he squints his eyes and points at you.
You get a text from your mom wondering where you are, and that’s the end of your little outing with Rodrick.
When he drops you home, Heather is the furthest thing from your mind, even though you know holding Rodricks hand (even though it wasn’t even purposely!) would be a slight against you.
Over the next two weeks, Heather's empty threat went to the back burner of your mind. If she wanted to out you, it would’ve happened by now. I’m safe, you sighed in relief.
Rodrick continued not to go up to her in the morning, but if she talked to him he definitely talked back. It seemed to calm her attitude toward you now, but it still was a hot seat around her. Like now, she’s passing around flyers for her party this weekend and intentionally passed by you.
“Rodrick, you’re definitely coming to my party this weekend, right?” She bats her eyelashes. “I need your band Soiled Diper to play!”
“It’s Löded Diper,” you correct and she glares at you, “and when have you ever wanted us to play anywhere near you?”
“Us?” She scoffs at you. “I just want the main band, not some wannabe.”
“Woah,” Rodrick stops her. “(Y/N) is an actual part of the band, so no him, no band.”
“Him? If that’s what you wanna say, sure.” And to the untrained ear it could just be her upset that he isn’t going along to exclude you, but you know what she means. As you perk up and look in her eyes, she’s already looking at you with a knowing smirk.
She knows. FUCK how does she know?
“I’m fine with not going, Rod,” you try to sway him. This cannot be fucking happening.
“No, it’s either all of us or none of us.”
Of course now he wants to be a fucking hero right now. He doesn’t get that this is social suicide FOR ME! Social homicide? Not important right now.
“Ok,” she has that sugary sweet fake smile. “Don’t come, then. Remember what I said.”
That last part was for you, you know it, and your blood runs cold. Fuck.
The rest of the day you’re on the edge of your seat, thinking what she might do. How the fuck did she even find out? You weren’t on social media much pre-transition, so barely any photos of you before exist. And like you said, your medical records were locked up tight.
Whatever, you try to convince yourself. She won’t do anything! She would’ve already.
You make it home with no one running around talking about your biggest secret, so your anxiety has allowed you to breathe again.
You decide to finally talk to your mom about this because who else will understand?
“You’re right to be afraid, but you’re also right about her doing it when she finally found something on you.” Your mom rubs your hair as you lay in her lap.
“It’s like I can’t get into her mind and I seriously want to. Like what is she planning?” Your thoughts literally won’t shut up. You haven’t had to worry about stuff like this for close to 2 years, and now its like your whole world is about to collapse
“For her sake, I hope nothing because I’m not above beating a little girl's ass!” And you know she’s being for real. Your mom doesn’t play around.
“Mom,” you roll your eyes.
“So, she thinks you like Rodrick…What’s up with that?”
“You know the answer if you’re asking,” you sigh.
“Do you want any advice on that? I say you should go for it.” Your mom shrugs.
“Absolutely not, because if this does come out I don’t want him weirded out by me being trans and gay.” You don’t even know if you are gay gay, but you know it’d make you that if you ask him out.
“I think you’re safe, but if something does blow, I’m in your corner.” She holds up her fist playfully to show it.
“Thank you, Mom.” You finally felt at peace with the whole thing. You trust your mom and feel like it will all blow over.
If only you knew.
The next morning, you walk with a pep in your step. You decide to walk to school, texting Rodrick you didn’t need a ride. It took a little longer to walk than drive, so you knew they’d beat you there.
When you finally showed up, people were staring at you, but it didn’t bother you much. People looked at you and the gang weirdly all the time, it just happened. It was when you finally made your way inside that all hell broke loose.
Random whispers were rampant through the hall, but when you walked by it would stop. Whatever, they were probably just talking about what you were wearing like always. You shrugged and went to find the guys.
You were right in front of them in the cafeteria and about to speak when that sugary voice stopped you, “Hey, [Redacted]!” It exclaimed.
You could’ve thrown up right then and there. You whip around to face Heather, “What the hell did you just call me?”
“Should I tell her or are you guys going to be good friends?”
“Guys, what is she talking about?” You turn to them and the look on their faces say it all.
They Know. Everyone knows.
Ben turns his phone around and you have to will yourself to not spill your breakfast out onto the concrete. It’s a screenshot from one of your parents' private Facebooks from two or three years ago with a title that stated your deadname.
The “girl” in the picture was going to homecoming, and it was obvious that it was you. Your face was softer, caked with makeup, and your hair was longer. The caption had your name and said that you were indeed going to homecoming.
“This picture was private, how the fuck?” You were whispering to yourself. You’re frozen in place, you can’t look anywhere but Ben’s phone.
“How could you hide this from your friends?” Heather fake gasps. “Pretending to be a boy? Going into the boys bathroom and locker room? What a freak!” and her whole group laughs. When you didn’t respond, she kept going, “Like, can you guys believe it? She’s pretending to be a boy to get close to you, and I even heard she had a little crush on one of you!”
That made you bark out a sob. Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy-
“It’s crazy! Right, Rodrick?” and that snaps you out of it.
You glance at him, and he looks angry. Probably at you for lying to him. You darted away, looking for an exit because all you can think about is going home. You hear your name called after you, but you don’t care.
“What the hell are you doing home? Classes literally just started.” Your mom asks as she’s cuddled up with your dad. You don’t answer her, and just run up to your room, sobbing.
“Woah, woah woah, hey!” They get up to go after you.
When you get to your room, you don’t close your door knowing they’re after you. You shut your phone down and just throw yourself onto your bed, trying to stop your tears.
“Son, what’s wrong? What happened at school?” My dad knocks on the open door.
“Heather Hills,” you say through your pillow. Even if your dad didn’t get it, your mom did.
“She didn’t…”
“She did though, Mom!” You cry out, turning to face them. “She outed me to the whole school! She somehow found one of your Facebooks, got into it and found an old picture of me going to homecoming, and she shared it with the whole school!”
“Are you serious?” Your dad balls up his fist.
“Not only that, but she said that I was pretending to be a guy! Said I was doing it to get close to Rodrick, basically told him I liked him, and made me seem like this big ass weirdo!”
“We need to do something about this,” your mom says, and she sounds pissed. “This has to be some sort of harassment!”
“Your mother is right, we need to contact the school-”
“NO, please,” you start. “What’s done is done, I don’t want this bigger than it is!”
“(Y/N)!-”
“Mom, please listen to me!” You’re exasperated at this point. “Heather has the whole school behind her. Her parents are RICH, so if we try to do anything, it’ll just make everything worse!”
“I don’t give a fuck about her parents! She hurt my baby and she needs to be held accountable!”
“I don’t want to be in the middle of any more drama!” You groan. “I just want to figure this out quietly and on my own. I don’t want to talk to anyone about it and I just want to be left alone!”
“Ok, ok,” your dad sighs and puts a hand on your head. “If that’s what you want, we won’t push it,” he turns to your mom, “won’t we?”
“Yea, I guess,” she rolls her eyes, but gives a weak smile. “But at any point you need any help or she does anything else, we’re in your corner.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
“Get some rest, son,” your dad pats your shoulder. “You look like you need it.”
“I’ll try.”
But you knew you weren’t going to be able to sleep. You avoid your phone because you didn’t want to be contacted by anyone, but especially Rodrick. You didn’t want to know his disgust with you, didn’t want to know how much he thought that Heather was right.
Without the distraction of your phone, your room and the house was too quiet. You could hear your parents downstairs, trying not to be angry about your situation and watching television. Your mind keeps replaying you looking at Ben’s phone, ears ringing in anger and worry. You’re so horrified, afraid you’ve lost all of your friends. You were supposed to graduate without anyone finding out. What was the point of a fresh start if you were just gonna have to deal with all that you wanted to avoid at your old home?
You hear someone knock on your front door, and even being that far away from it you heard Rodricks voice. This time you can’t stop your stomach from lurching and you run to the bathroom.
As you flush the toilet, you hear the door close and footsteps up the stairs. That makes you pray on the bathroom floor to anything that could hear you to not make you talk to him yet.
“Hey, baby, you alright?” Your mom’s voice fills you with relief and seems to calm your stomach.
“No,” you say truthfully. You didn’t feel like lying right now, “I feel like everything is over for me.”
“You heard him, didn’t you?”
“Not what he said, but I heard his voice,” you admit.
“Then I think you should answer your phone.” And with that, she leads you back to your room, kisses your forehead, and goes back downstairs.
You don’t turn your phone back on until the next day. You still felt sick, and no matter how much you tried to eat you just couldn’t. You stayed home from school and your parents didn’t argue, but they still had to go out for work. Not a full trip, but they had to go to the next town over.
You had less messages than you thought you would, but it’s still crazy. Drew, Ward, Chris, Ben, and even Bill messaged you, but you didn’t care about all of them because one name caught your eye. Rodrick.
It was four messages; are you home??, answer me!, i’m coming over. were the first three, but the last message was a video.
It starts staring at the floor, and then it’s pointed to a group of people. You can make out you, the gang, and Heather behind you. You take off running, but the recording doesn’t stop there.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Rodrick stands up and gets in Heather's face.
“What?” she laughs in disbelief.
“You heard what I said!”
“Are you seriously defending her over me? I thought you liked me?!” You can hear the fakeness in her voice.
“That was before you decided to spread lies about my friend! He has done nothing to you!” the emphasis on the “he” makes your eyes widen. “You’re gonna stop talking shit about my best friend to my face! You’re such a fake bitch! I don’t know how I ever liked you…”
“Don’t tell me you’re seriously picking her over me? You must be more homo than her to like that wannabe boy.”
“Are you fucking serious?” The rest of the guys pipe up and start to surround Heather.
“He is a guy, and if you think anything other than it, you must be stupider than I thought,” Ben steps up.
“And so what if I like him? Just know I don’t like you, not anymore.” Rodrick is the angriest you’ve ever seen him, it’s kind of hot scary.
“Whatever, you’re all just losers. Lets go,” she turns and walks off with her crew.
That’s where the video ends.
You couldn’t stop rewatching it in amazement. He had stood up to Heather Hills for you without hesitation. Had said he liked you to Heather Hills. To basically the entire school, if this video has already gone around.
You debate whether or not you wanted to talk to him, but your need for your best friend wins over your need to hide. You slip on your shoes and head out.
You live a little over 5 minutes away from Rodrick even though he drives you guys everywhere. You know you could’ve told him to come over to your house, but it’s nice to finally get some fresh air. Plus, his mom was always nice to see when you went over his house.
When you get there, you see his van parked in the driveway near the garage. You have to hype yourself up to knock on the front door, but once you do it’s like a wave of nausea comes crashing over you.
I can’t do this, oh my god. What have I-
Before you can finish your thoughts, the door opens. You half expect it to be Rodrick, but it’s just Greg.
“Hey, kid.” You do a little wave as if you haven’t met him before. Whenever you come over, you tend to see Greg and Rowley, too. Most of the time they’re just in the living room, but they sometimes come up to the attic just to get chewed out by Rodrick, especially when it’s just you two up there.
“Hey, (Y/N),” he smiles, “where’ve you been?”
“Yknow.” You wring your hands. “Around.”
You can barely get words out. Does Greg know? Did Rodrick tell his family about what his best friend is?
“Rodrick should be upstairs in his room.” Greg moves out of the way so you can step into the house. “He’s been moping up there since yesterday, I don’t even think he’s left it today.”
“He didn’t go to school?” It’s not surprising, he’s always skipping, but you know it’s because of what went down yesterday.
“Nope,” Greg shakes his head. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you guys, because he only acts like this when he can’t see you, but I think you guys will work it out. It’s like me and Rowley, just less romantical.”
“W-what-” you sputter out. “I don’t-”
“Sure, whatever you want to tell yourself.” Greg cuts you off with an eye roll. “Like I said, he’s upstairs.”
“Thanks, kid.” Your face is on fire.
And with that, you mount the stairs to the attic. Is your crush on Rodrick really that obvious that even his family can see it? And with the way Greg was talking it seems to be reciprocated. You heard it come out of Rodrick’s own mouth, but what if he just said that so Heather could leave you alone?
You’re in front of his door before you can finish your thoughts. You knock, ready to get this over with.
“Mom, I told you I’ll be ok, just leave me alone!” You hear him call out.
“Not your mom, last time I checked.” You say, a soft smile grows on your face from hearing his voice.
You hear him leap up off of his bed and trip over something, but it doesn’t seem to phase him as he runs to open the door.
“(Y/N),” he breathes out.
“Hey,” you can barely look him in the face. “Can I come in?”
“Yea, yea, come in!” He pulls you through the door.
Once in his room, it’s like you’ve never set foot in it. You don’t know what to do, where to sit. It all feels new to you for some reason.
“Dude, just sit down somewhere.” Rodrick laughs at your newfound confusion.
You decide to sit on his bed, which you do every time you come over. You and Rodrick always sit on opposite ends of the bed so you can look at each other, which this time is no different.
You just sit there, staring at each other. You decide to break the ice. “It’s true, all of it. I don’t know how Heather got that picture, but I was a girl for most of my life up until now. Please, don’t hate me.”
“I’m not going to lie, it made me mad that I had to find out through Heather Hills,” he sighs, “but then again it’s none of my business. You were doing it to protect yourself, so I get it and I don’t have a right to be mad. I could never hate you over something like that though.”
You just sit there with your mouth open. You knew subconsciously that he couldn’t have hated you, but you had grown up hearing all the hatred people had for people like you. You had no choice to be on the defense when coming over here, no matter what you heard.
“I just-” You start. “I just, I know you’re my best friend, and I should’ve trusted you with this, but I couldn’t. I’ve never had anyone but my parents know. Their families don’t even know, that’s the whole reason we moved here.”
“Would you have ever told me?” He asks, kind of quiet.
“Maybe.” You shrug honestly. “I was too worried about trying to survive high school without a slip up to think that far ahead.”
“Oh,” is all he answers.
It’s another drowning silence. You’ve never had an awkward silence in your entire friendship, this is freaking you out.
“Did you watch the video I sent you?” Rodrick speaks up.
“Yea, it was the first thing I saw when I turned my phone back on.” Another beat of silence. “It was the only reason I came over here to talk to you.”
“Did you watch the whole thing?”
“Only a hundred times,” you smile evilly. “I love watching that barbie wannabe get put in her place.”
“Yea, that was great to do,” his voice lowers, “but that’s not what I was talking about.”
“I know.” You whisper and look him in the eyes.
You just sit there staring at each other, and then Rodrick looks down at your lips. It was so quick you could’ve missed it if you blinked, but you saw it. Just go for it.
“Are you going to kiss me, or just think about it?” You try to sound confident, but it ends up a quiet squeak.
His eyes widen, but he begins to inch over to you until you’re pressed up against each other. “Is this okay?” His whisper tickles your lips.
You just nod, eyes never leaving his. You don’t know who leans in first, but your lips are together in a flash. Your grip on his shirt is tight, as if when you let go it’ll all disappear. Your mouths almost move in unison, like you’re trying to devour the other. You can barely breath, feeling like this isn’t real. You dreamed about this moment for so long and now that it’s here it’s like you’re ascending.
You are the one who pulls away first, needing to breathe. Rodrick doesn’t seem like he wants to stop, kissing down your jaw to your neck. While you're breathing softly, you hear a knock at his door. That doesn’t stop Rodrick though.
“Rodrick,” you breath out as a warning.
“Hm,” he hums indifferently. Before you both know it, his door opens.
“Rodrick, you need to leave this- OH MY GOD!” His mother screams out.
“MOM!” Rodrick jumps away from you in fear and shock.
You’re all just stuck looking at both of them staring at each other before you break the silence.
“Hey, Ms. Susan…”
After that you are put through a lecture with his mom and dad. You guys can’t be upstairs alone without Greg being a buffer, door open at all times even with the other guys there. They, of course, texted your parents about what they found so that's gonna be fun to go home to. But you felt like none of that mattered because you got what you wanted. You didn’t lose your friends, and you even gained a boyfriend.
He offers to drive you home, which you take because you want to be close to him for a little longer. So you wave goodbye to his parents and get into the van.
You hold hands on the way to your house.
“We’re glad you decided to come back to school,” Rodrick squeezes your hand. “It’s been so boring.”
“First of all, I was gone one day,” you roll your eyes in fake annoyance. “And second of all, you literally didn’t even go yesterday!”
“But it’s always boring whenever I don’t get to see you, baby.” He wiggles his shoulders against yours.
All the guys groan in fake disgust. “Yall are so corny, break up already.” Ben gags.
“I didn’t even say anything!” You throw your hands up, taking one of Rodricks hands with you.
“Cringe by association.” And you roll your eyes in true annoyance.
“Are you sure you’re ready to go back?” Rodrick interrupts. “We could just go back to your house and hang out for the day.”
“I’m sure you’d love that,” you shove his arm, “but if I keep skipping, it’ll be like she won. Plus I’m not losing my straight A streak because of that bimbo.”
“Fine,” he huffs. “I can’t wait for the last day, school is so boring.”
“I thought without me it was boring?” You raise an eyebrow.
“You know what I mean.” He kisses your cheek.
“Yuck,” one of the guys laughs out behind your back.
“Shut the fuck up so we can get this day over with.” You flip them off.
You’re, of course, joking because you know you couldn’t have gone through this without them. After your talk with Rodrick, you all had a group hangout and talked through all of this. They let you know the whole time that they were 100% on your side. They were your boys and you were theirs.
Maybe the rest of the year won't be hell. You got the guy, smited the girl, and even if you were outed, you had all the friends you needed with you already. You were going to be fine.
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ranchracoon · 4 months ago
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The Perfect Plan Pt.3
Miranda is absolutely smitten for you and Eva. She waited on you night and day; bringing you water and safe food, helping you breast feed and getting up at night every time Eva cries. When she isn't dotting on her two favorite girls, she's constantly worrying. Every few seconds she checks to make sure Eva is breathing while sleeping. Every time Eva so much as sniffles Miranda immediately does testing to make sure she's not sick. However, you can't be mad, especially when you lay there and watch Miranda interact with your child.
Miranda's eyes gleam with pride and happiness, when she held Eva for the first time she didn't stop crying for hours. She has waited so long for this moment. Every time she holds Eva she treats it as if it's the last time. She holds her a little tighter, a little closer, and showers her in love. She spoils you relentlessly as an apology for her constant worrying and protectiveness. You find it equally adorable and attractive. Watching Miranda be motherly once again, being the provider and protector, gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling. For the first time in your life, you feel truly loved and safe. 
Eva grows like a weed and before long she's ready to venture into the village; it takes copious amounts of 'convincing' on your part but Miranda finally agrees. You talk with her, clutching her arm tightly as Eva waddles in front to the village, when you come within view you gasp from the shock. The homes, once falling to pieces with the rooves caved in from snow, now look sturdy and habitable. The center of the village with the maiden statue is pristine and clean, has there always been a brick road? The cemetery is well taken care of, and once the ceremonial center now holds a newly built schoolhouse. The villagers bow with respect to Miranda, but also approach her without fear, that is, until she sends warning glares in their direction. She has her daughter and her mate with her now, and no one is going to be within any amount of distance of them. Still an improvement. 
Since Heisenberg left, Miranda tasked Dimitrescu with culling his herds of failed mutants and the factory was stripped for any usable materials. The village is full of life, and happy, and Eva spends her time playing with other children while Miranda stands guard with a constant watch. Eva barely makes it home and ends up having to be carried by Miranda and laid to bed, to which she gives her a kiss and tucks her in. 
"I want another."
It's debatable who said it first, but Miranda wastes no time scooping you into her arms and carting you away to the bedroom. She barely gives you enough time to undress before she's mounted on top of you and making you unable to walk. She then ensures you do not go to bed without being properly filled. Because of this you are swollen with baby number two and three in no time. Twins. A boy named Fajr and a girl named Genevieve, both have your hair color but otherwise are spitting images of Miranda. This time Miranda allows some women from the village to assist in the birth. She's learning. 
*          *          * "I hate you!" Eva screams as she slams the door.
Miranda clutched her fists, her body trembles and threatens to mutate. She should break down this door and punish her! How dare she speak to her mother that way. Just as her hand begins to grow and waver into talons she's stopped by none other than you. Miranda growls violently, her instinct wanting to throw you aside for interfering. Yet you so gently place your hand on hers and lower it, Miranda doesn't bother and instead pushes herself away. Storming away and slamming the door to the bedroom, leaving you alone in the hallway. You look over your shoulder to see Fajr and Genevieve staring at you with wide scared eyes, but you smile lovingly and wave for them to go on. You'll speak with them later. When they scamper off, you gently knock on Eva's door. 
"Go away mama I know it's you." Eva bites on the other side.
"Eva. Please let me in." You ask quietly. 
There's a moment of silence before the door unlocks followed by the sound of a slump onto the bed. You push the door open gently and walk over to Eva who is face down on her bed sobbing violently. You sit on the edge and rub her back soothingly, eventually she calms enough to turn her face and suck in gasping breaths. 
"Do you want to tell me what this fight was about?" You ask calmly. 
"No one wants me." She chokes out. 
"Now that's not true honey-"
"It is! No one wants a female alpha, especially not the daughter of 'Mother Miranda.'" she says the title sarcastically, "I asked mom to....to turn me into an omega..and she refused! She said I should be proud of being her daughter, and an alpha. That I should just, take a mate and not wallow in self-pity."
"Oh."
Turning an alpha into an omega is far more experimental than turning a beta into an omega, it requires a consenting alpha or extremely painful chemicals. There's been no reported successes of either option fully working without horrific side effects. You also are going to have to talk to Miranda as well, she still has a lot to learn about handling sensitive matters. You coax Eva up into a sitting position and cradle her in your lap like you used to do when she was small, she instantly bundled up and hid her face into your neck. 
"You know your mother loves you unconditionally. She's a little...old school. Give it some time, go at your own pace, and no matter what path you choose, I will always be here for you."
Once temperatures lowered, Miranda came back out and also knocked on Eva's door to apologize. Eva opened the door and hugged her mother tightly, Miranda was taken aback by it at first but then wrapped her up tightly and held her closely.
*          *          *
Farj presented as alpha and found himself a wonderful mate, they moved to where the factory used to stand. Genevieve presented as omega, and it took every bit of strength to keep Miranda from slaughtering any Alpha that came to the door. Eventually she allowed a young man to pass through, and although she still threatens him every chance she gets, he treats Genevieve well. he's provided a home, steady income, and stability. Eva also found a mate, an outsider who wandered into the village accidentally. As for you and Miranda....
Now you two are empty nesters with an entire house to yourselves again. But that quickly goes away when the first pair of grandbabies arrive. 
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pandamorphic · 8 months ago
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Beneath the salty waves, a young dragon cried.
She swam, fighting currents and undertows she didn’t yet know, her tears indistinguishable from the home she fled. Fear and sadness and uncertainty dragged her drowning mind ahead until finally she crashed to the surface and coughed away the waves that filled her mouth. She blinked at the sky and seethed with indignation.
It wasn’t fair. The placid ocean gently released her to the beach as little stars twinkled in the clear blue expanse. Why weren’t they angry, full of righteous vengeance on her behalf? Why didn’t the waters rage and churn and spew into black clouds pounding with lightning? As she collapsed into the soft sands, she tried slowing her merciless heart.
“Oh, my dear, sweet Siren. Why do you run from me?”
She froze. She frantically searched the ripples for the telltale glow of scales. But there was nothing.
Why couldn’t she just get away from him? From them all? Even when she managed to leave, he still whispered in her ear, taunting her. She backed away from the water, sand sucking her talons as if they wanted her to stay. The light fractured around her as something blocked the moons. Clouds were gathering quickly, coming from the mainland and clawing towards her. She ran with a strangled wail—
—straight into something solid. She collapsed, the forest that edged the beach spinning around her. She looked up to find a looming figure haloed by moonlight. It had a strangely alluring presence wreathed in the scent of… was it dried coral? Or saltwater taffy? She realized she couldn’t pin down the smell but she knew it as soft and beguiling, like the rare days her parents let her play around the Wobbegong Carpets with the servants’ dragonets.
The world began to settle into its rightful place, and as it did, she realized the figure was a dragon. A huge NightWing, in fact. What was a NightWing doing around the SeaWing kingdom? she wondered.
“Oh, hello there, little one,” the dragon rumbled.
(Cut for insta)
Her eyes stretched wide as she tried hiding her fear.
“That’s it, sweet Siren. Never let them see your true feelings. Chin up and smile. You belong to the palace. To me.”
A sob escaped before she could catch it. Then, like a dam bursting, the onslaught of tears came.
“Ah, shhh,” the NightWing soothed, immediately wrapping herself around the dragonet. “What troubles you, dear?”
The dragon was warm. Not at all like the deep waters she hatched in, or the stiff royals who planned her every move. There was something tender and motherly in the way she caressed the webbing along her back. It was a feeling she never knew herself.
“My— they—“
She couldn’t stop hiccuping and could taste the familiar sharpness that would follow whenever she stuttered or flinched in front of her parents. However, no slap came, and instead the strangers pale eyes held concern rather than anger. So she swallowed and tried again.
“My… my parents. They were upset, and… they hurt me.”
The dragon tutted quietly. “When parents harm their own children… Is there no greater injustice?”
She buried her head in the stranger’s side and whimpered.
“Child, what if I told you I could help?”
She looked up slowly, confused.
“If there was anything, anything you wanted in the whole world, what would it be?”
She paused. What did she want? She was sick of being told what to do, what to say, how to properly act among which dragons. She hated that her parents treated her few friends poorly just because they were servants and commoners. No one listened to her. And she wanted him gone.
“To tell others what to do.”
“A simple enough wish. I can make that happen, little one. I just need something from you…”
———
WHEW this took me a while 😭 first real attempt at a lil comic thing!! Also more oc lore YEAH!! This is the origin of Siren’s power (and how her eyes changed as a result) and another connection with Lady Sybil 👀
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lostquinn · 2 years ago
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Purely circumstantial
Connor (dbh) x gn!reader
Fluff, fake dating
Summery - you and Connor have a fake relationship that you intend to end before you fall for a man that doesn't love you, however first you have to go through valentines day with him.
Let's ignore that it isn't valentines day, okay? Thank you thank you. Ugh I need more Connor gifs 😭
Word count - 1270
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Red hearts littered the Detroit City Police Department. Someone had decorated the office for valentines day. It was sweet that people decorated for each holiday without even asking for a thanks, it always made you smile.
You were sat at your desk, typing away about a case you were working on when a small bundle of red roses was dropped onto your lap. You looked up to see Connors bright eyes and smiled up at him.
"Morning Connor, happy valentines day,"
"Good morning," he paused for a moment. "Will you be my valentine?"
You grinned and nodded. From where you were, you could see Hank out of the corner of your eye and you could see Gavin in the reflection of Connors eyes.
The relationship wasn't real, the two of you had started fake dating a few months ago to get Hank and Gavin off your backs. Gavin would still sometimes bother you but Connor would act jealous and protective and make him back off.
Despite the relationship being completely fake, it was sweet to see Connor act as though he was madly in love with you.
"I can't wait to take you on a date later," the android grinned, his led a soft blue.
"Well, we have to wait until after work, Romeo," you smirked.
He leant down and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. Butterflies exploded in your stomach and a subtle blush spread across your face. You had to remind yourself it was all fake as he walked across the bullpen.
You cursed to yourself and picked the roses from your lap and put them on the desk. You remembered last time he got you roses when you cut yourself on the thorns and noticed he had removed them from this bouquet.
He was so perfect, he cared deeply about you but none of it was real. It was all just a ruse, neither of you really had feelings for each other. You decided you should break it off before things got too serious, you didn't want to actually fall for him if he didn't feel the same way. It was purely circumstantial.
He watched you from his desk, he had his head resting on his hand as he daydreamed about your date together. All he wanted was the day to end.
Hank shook his head at Connor, somewhat sick of Connors lost puppy behaviour lately.
"Why not go talk to them? Rather than ogling them from your desk," Hank grumbled.
"Because we are both working lieutenant, it would be highly inappropriate for me to halt our work,"
"Cause you're getting so much work done," Hank rolled his eyes.
Recently, Connor had been feeling differently about you. He noticed these feelings on Christmas but decided to push them aside, the relationship wasn't real.
He thought back to the kiss the two of you had shared moments ago and brought his hand up, his fingers traced his lips as he thought about yours, and the blush that was cast over your face.
"So you only got them flowers?" Hank raised an eyebrow at Connor.
"They like flowers, was I supposed to get something else?"
"It's a little bit different, you get them flowers every week. It's not going to be special."
Those final words echoed in Connors head and he paused for a moment, thinking of what to do. He decided he would treat you properly and stood up, swiftly leaving the police department.
You watched him leave then glanced over to Hank, concerned. The older gentleman merely shrugged.
Connor did not return for three hours. You had been worried about him, he left without Hank and without saying anything.
All worries were released when you saw him fighting to get back in the police department. He was battling an oversized teddy bear that wouldn't fit through the entrance easily.
Eventually, he made it through and basically ran to you, offering you a nice box of chocolates and the Teddy bear that was nearly as big as him.
You giggled and took the chocolates, putting them on your desk before he sat the bear on your lap. You could hear his laugh as he lifted the bear back off of you and put it in an empty chair.
"Where did you go?" You asked.
"I had some things to buy," he smiled.
"That took you three hours?"
"I couldnt think of the words to put in the card," he pouted and pulled a card from his pocket.
Connor didn't hand you the card, or even reach it out to you in the slightest. Instead, he extended his other hand for you to hold and pulled you up out of your seat. He led you through the police department to a room that hadn't been used for a while, it was full of desks for some reason.
He sat you down on a desk and turned the lights on, making you blink as your eyes had gotten use to the dark briefly.
The android stood in front of you, fiddling with his coin in one hand and holding the card shyly with the other hand.
His face flushed a deep blue as he held the card out to you. He had never acted like this around you before, you had never seen him blush before now.
You tore the red envelope open and pulled the card out. It was cute, a white background covered in red and pink hearts and had some cheesy line about valentines day on the front.
You glanced up at him before opening it and saw his beautiful eyes staring at you intensely, as if he was waiting for your next move.
As you opened the card, you saw his neat handwriting. His handwriting was perfect and covered the inside of the card. You began to read the card before he interrupted you with a groan and pulled it from your hands.
"It's stupid, dont worry about it," he urged.
"I want to read it," you reached for the card.
"No." He moved away.
You pounced on him to try and get the card and he fought you, pushing you back as he held the card out of reach.
Connor paused as you kissed him on the lips and you managed to get the card from him. He panicked, thinking to what he had written in the card and grabbed you by your wrists.
He gently pinned you to the wall with your hands above your head and pulled the card from your hands.
Your heart was beating so hard you swore he could hear it, but he was too worried about his thirium pump beating just as hard as he looked at you. The both of you began to blush deeply as you stared at each other unable to move.
"You dont need to read the card," he whispered.
"But what does it say?" You whispered back.
"Just that- I... I want this to be real"
You stared at him him shock, he had broken eye contact with his statement and seemed so nervous now, nothing like how he had been before.
"Do you... love me?" You continued to whisper.
He opened his mouth to talk but no words escaped, he could only nod.
"I love you Connor,"
"I love you too," he let go of your arms and wrapped his arms around you.
He held you in a tight hug, his face buried in the crook of your neck as you wrapped your arms around him.
He began to mutter into your shoulder "will you be my valentine? For real this time?"
296 notes · View notes
esleep · 4 months ago
Text
i am having the most ridiculously, cartoonishly bad day that i think i have ever had and i am going to be pitiful about it for a minute okay. if you read this i hope it makes your day seem much better by comparison, in fact i am pretty confident it will do that for you. it's probably a little funny also if you are not me.
testimonials: "my jaw fully dropped and stayed open the entire time, jesus christ" -shannon in reply to the 3+ minute rambling video i sent her about all of this.
here is my sordid tale, for those brave of heart and strong of stomach.
i woke up at 4 AM while having both a migraine and an anxiety attack (being around my family for extended periods will do that). i was unable to go back to sleep for multiple hours. my morning work alarm went off less than an hour after i finally drifted back off.
at work i spent 10 hours trying to catch up on a bunch of bullshit, because it was my first day back after a week and a half of hastily-arranged sick leave so i could be with my dying grandfather.
midway through my morning, i remember that last night i found a weird open sore on the back of my cat's neck, which i need to call a vet to get checked out IMMEDIATELY after work since i am supposed to be bringing a kitten home on Sunday and I do not want to bring him into a house full of ringworm or some other weird skin infection.
i start looking around online. looks like the only place anywhere nearby that will accept walk-ins AND is open after i get off work at 6 is the veterinary urgent care across town. cool. i call. they tell me their base exam cost is $110 and any treatments go on top of that. i wince and grimly make an appointment for 7 this evening.
at this point it is around noon and my stomach hurts. it's been hurting this whole time but i had kinda let it fade into the background because i thought it was just part of the anxiety. however it has been getting slowly stronger until it finally dawns on me that i am having period cramps. ten days early. cool and nice. i also do still have the migraine, thank you for asking.
i finish my work day at 6, then remember something crucial: rent. i go to bring my rent check physically to the landlord's office since i got back into town too late to mail it, and my landlord is so old school i can only pay by physical check or money order (online portal? never heard of her). the office is already closed, and they don't have a night drop available right now because their actual office was firebombed six months ago (lmao) and it's still being rebuilt so their temporary "office" is just a trailer. i panic-call my landlord, who says i can leave the check if i can manage to stuff it far enough into the door that no one can see it. i try my best. this takes a million years. the entire time i am worrying that i will be late to the vet.
we finally make it to the appointment. things seem to be going well at first - we are alone in the waiting room while i fill out my paperwork, ivy is mostly chill (shockingly). when we are brought to a room she even lets me feed her a churu through her carrier door, a decision i soon came to deeply regret. we'll get to that.
this is the first vet i've ever been to where they fully take your animal away from the "exam room" where you are supposed to wait and into a back area to examine and treat them, presumably because their protocol is built around much more severe illnesses and traumas. predictably, ivy did not like this very much. i nervously told the tech who took her away that if they had too much trouble with her, they were welcome to come and get me, because she usually behaves more for me than for anyone else. i can hear her yowling from the room where i have been told to wait, while i am staring down a sign that says "FOR YOUR SAFETY - PLEASE STAY HERE WHILE WE EXAMINE YOUR PET". it may be a liability thing for them, idk, but it is truly not my safety i am concerned about at this moment. it's not my cat's safety, either. those yowls are war cries. the beast seeks blood.
the vet comes in. he seems like a nice man. he tells me gently that he's having some trouble getting a good look at the sore because ivy is so upset (you don't say). i tell him i am happy to help them corral her, but also, i have a photo of it on my phone if he would like to look at that. he is delighted. i show him the blurry photo i took last night. he is less delighted. essentially, he tells me, this is most likely either an allergy flare-up, an infection/abscess, or possibly (least likely) ringworm. we agree on a three-pronged approach: one antibiotic shot and one steroid shot tonight, plus a tube of ointment to come home with me that i will apply once or twice a day ("whatever you can manage" he told me while nervously glancing at the door that separates us from my pet demon in the treatment room). this ointment contains more steroid and antibiotic, plus an anti-fungal, and it should help kick whatever is going on even if we can't positively identify it. he says if it gets worse or doesn't heal, or if she develops more of them, bring her back.
next to come in is a slightly wild-eyed vet tech who tells me that ivy has been attacking them all pretty badly (shocking) so they had to net her (okay that's a new one). during this process, she shit liquid diarrhea all over herself and them. after they gave her the necessary injections and tossed her from the net back into the carrier, "the poop went in with her" were the tech's exact words. she handed me a cloth and a spray bottle of disinfectant and basically told me i could stay in here as long as i needed to get the carrier cleaned up, but she couldn't stay in the room to help me because my cat is such a menace to society. that is fine. i would rather face her wrath on my own anyway.
they were not exaggerating when they told me she was absolutely covered in shit. that churu really lubricated the pipes or something because it is a frankly concerning amount of feces. her bed and blanket inside the carrier are beyond redemption. i don't really care too much about that - i've owned cats for two decades, i am wise enough not to keep anything i'm emotionally attached to inside the carrier. i am also not very squeamish about cleaning up a little poop. but what really gets to me this time is the smell. it is absolutely unholy. this is not regular cat shit smell, this is like satan's afterbirth. beyond just what's in the carrier, there is shit matted into ivy's fur all throughout her back half and a little toward the front too. she looks pitiful. but she walks out of the carrier so calmly when i open the door, almost like she's trying to preserve what dignity she can. i don't blame her. she's had a bad night.
i do what i can with the carrier to make it transportable, then go out to pay the staggering $365 that i owe for this ongoing nightmare. it is now nearly 9 pm. we've been here for two hours. i am exhausted like someone who has been to war. the extremely young boy they have running the front desk takes forever to figure out how to apply my Scratchpay (which i had to hastily apply for in the exam room), and meanwhile the smell that is coming off both me and my cat is like nothing i have ever experienced. it's freshly shocking to me every time i inhale. it's the kind of smell you never really acclimate to. i am pretty sure i have actually died and gone to hell without noticing the trip.
i bring the cat home (windows down, by necessity, praying it doesn't start raining again like it has been all day). i take her directly to the bathtub - do not pass go, do not collect $200. then i have the joy and privilege of giving her a bath in the tub. with dish soap. because that is all i have available and this is a bit too much of an emergency for me to doordash some cat shampoo. considering my cat's temperament, this goes about as well as you can imagine. by the end, the cat and i are pretty much equally wet, but at least she is mostly clean. i consider showering myself off while fully clothed, but decide against it for the sake of my bra, which is somehow the only thing still dry and untouched.
i am still a little bit in shock at how absolutely horrendous and LONG every aspect of this day has been. i need a xanax, $10,000 USD, a massage, and a handle of whiskey. i will be receiving none of that. goodnight.
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yume-chin · 1 year ago
Text
First meeting
I know it's a trivial chapter but I wanted to create a starting point for all future rottmnt postings.
✧˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚。⋆✧˖°⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。˚
Request: No
Warning: Mention of arguing with parents, mild bullying and bad English
Genre: She/her
✧˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚。⋆✧˖°⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。˚
Pov: You and the turtles meet for the first time.
Version: RotTmnt
✧˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚。⋆✧˖°⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。˚
Total words: 2466
Leo: 620
Raph: 458
Donnie: 609
Mikey: 619
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Leo
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✧˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚。⋆✧˖°⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。˚
You walking the streets of New York trying to clear your head and let off some steam. As often happened, even today you had a nasty argument with your parents. Nothing important, they just don't seem to fully understand you.
As you passed in front of a dark alley you hear moans of pain.
Your first instinct was to run away but you quickly stopped and rushed to help the injured person. If that person is sick, you can't leave them in trouble.
Arrived at the point where you had heard the moans coming you expect to see a wounded boy and instead your gaze crosses with that of a creature with greenish skin and a blue shell.
You stand there looking at him for a few seconds until you snap back to reality and rush to his side.
"Don't worry, everything will be fine, I just want to help you" you try to reassure him.
The guy in front of you doesn't seem to have the same ideas as you but he still lets you approach and touch him.
You look at it carefully and after a while you look around. "Can you walk a little longer?" the boy nods and you help him to stand up and stand.
"I'll take you to my house so I can bandage your wounds" you try to walk but the boy stops. "I can't get in the door, too many people would see me"
You start looking around until you notice the fire escapes.
"We'll go through there then" you indicate. The boy nods and then you help him up to your window.
"One last effort and we'll finally be there" you encourage him and then help him enter.
As soon as inside you make him sit on your bed and then run to the bathroom of your room to get a medical kit. You check on the fly that everything you need is there and run back to him.
"I warn you that I'm not a nurse but I'll try to help you as best I can" the boy nods and you start treating him.
While you were still intent on disinfecting and treating his wounds the boy took courage and spoke “thank you for the help you are giving me”
You are a little surprised but you smile at him "that's okay"
"Aren't you afraid of me?"
"should I? are you going to kill me? I ask because in these conditions I don't think you could do much" you chuckle
The boy fell silent again.
"However can I know your name?"
The young man looked at you for a moment and answered shortly after.
"My name is Leonardo, but everyone calls me Leo"
"Oh so nice to meet you Leo, I'm Y/n" you smile getting a smile back.
"Anyway, I'm done with this, I patched you up as best I could, now try not to get yourself into trouble, Leo" you scold him.
The boy laughed "I'll try, but I'm going now, my family will be worried" he went to the window
"okay, it was nice to meet you, come and see me sometime" you smile at him.
Leo stopped walking out and walked over to you giving you a big hug "I sure will, and thanks for everything for your help, I owe you my life"
"Exaggerated!!" you giggle releasing then the embrace "take care of yourself" you caress his arm.
"I will, see you Y/n" he gives you a last goodbye with a wave of his hand and then goes out the window.
Well, from an evening that you needed to ease tensions you ended up helping a giant humanoid turtle, everyday things if you want-
✧˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚。⋆✧˖°⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。˚
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Raph
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✧˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚。⋆✧˖°⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。˚
Today was a tiring day. School, training, studying... The only thing you wanted was some rest but of course you weren't allowed that.
You returned home late and had just stretched out on the bed when suddenly, from your brother's room, located next to yours, a loud and annoying noise does not start coming out. His trombone.
Exactly, your brother joined the school band to play the trombone but he's still a beginner, so the melody he produces is more like a mix of off-key notes.
By now tired and exasperated the only thing that occurred to you to do was to go up on the roof to read a book.
So you leave the house until you reach the top floor where, thanks to a staircase that leads to the roof hatch, you don't go up to the roof with a good book in hand.
You sit down not far from the trapdoor and start reading but shortly after you start hearing a voice coming from not far away.
Being on the roof you found it something very strange and, assailed by curiosity, you decide to go and check.
As you thought, not far from you you notice a large shape. Too big to be a normal human being.
Paying closer attention you notice that the figure in front of you has spikes on its body and a shell.
After a while, the figure you were staring at notices you and lets out a frightened scream.
Taken aback you whirl around to see if there was anyone trying to attack you from behind but not noticing anyone you turn back to the huge figure.
"Why did you scream?! I thought there was some person ready to attack me! Are you crazy?!"
The boy seems to be shocked by your reaction.
"Everything is fine?"
"Aren't you afraid of me?"
You look at him confused "Should I?"
"Well, look at me, I'm a huge mutant turtle, everyone who sees me thinks I'm monstrous!"
"Oh my, monstrous is too heavy a word. Maybe it fits better -particular-. let's say it's not every day you have such an encounter with a giant mutant tortoise" you chuckle "and anyway there is nothing more monstrous than my brother playing the trombone. Seeing is believing!"
"No no thanks, I take you word for it" You both burst out laughing.
"However, nice to meet you, I'm Y/n"
"And I'm Raphael, but you can call me Raph"
"Cool name!"
"Thank you"
Suddenly you hear a voice calling your name.
"Oh! I have to go now, hope to see you again Raph!" you smile at him.
"I'll come back to see you then"
"Good! See you then!" you wave to him before returning to the building.
✧˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚。⋆✧˖°⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。˚
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Donnie
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✧˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚。⋆✧˖°⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。˚
It was a Sunday like any other and since you had finished all your homework for the week, you thought about spending an alternative morning.
You're a big science buff and there's no better place for you than to go to the New York City Science Museum.
It wasn't the first time you went to the museum but you can say with certainty that every time you entered there you felt the same emotions as the first time you entered through the main door.
You woke up early in the morning to get ready. You've decided to wear a purple sweatshirt, your favorite sweatshirt. You took the keys and hurried out so you could be among the
first to enter.
As soon as you entered, you didn't waste time visiting the rooms of the museum that you knew by heart by now.
As you walked you started looking around. You had the feeling that someone was staring at you.
You tried to ignore the sensation and continued your visit until the sensation got worse.
You turned around again and this time you saw a guy staring at you, and the first thing you noticed was that he was wearing the exact same sweatshirt as yours.
You stood there looking at him for a while and then gave him a slight wave of your hand to greet him smiling at him.
You turned around again, andcome back to look at the wonders on display at the museum. You walked quietly for a few more minutes until a hand touched your shoulder making you jump.
You looked at the one who touched your shoulder and you saw the boy from before.
"I wanted to tell you that you have a nice sweatshirt"
You smile at him "Well, thank you"
“I am Donatello, or Donnie, whichever you prefer”
“Nice to meet you Donnie, I'm Y/n” you extend your hand.
You see that he stays looking at her for a while and then hesitantly grabs her.
It's only at that moment that you notice that it had a particular appearance but you didn't start investigating.
"Am I wrong or do I think I've seen you here before?"
“Probably, I come here often”
"Science buff?"
"Yes and not only" you giggle looking into his eyes
"Really? What else are you interested in?”
“I also love technology and engineering”
“Woo, you are the first person I meet who has the same interests as me”
“Well, I'll consider myself one of a kind then,” you chuckle.
“How about finishing this museum visit together? Always if you want to be clear!! I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to!!”
I burst out laughing at his flustered reaction and it made him relax a bit.
"Of course I like it, you're too nice to say no" You smile at him.
And so you spent a quiet morning in each other's company. You have discovered that you have many other things in common, between passions and personal tastes.
It was a very pleasant morning.
When you get to the exit you have looked at each other.
"Well... we finished the visit huh"
"Already…"
“How about we meet again? Another walk like this, nothing demanding, always if you want!!”
You gently grab the sleeve of him sweatshirt  "Donnie, don't worry" you smile at him "I would really like it"
“How about next Sunday at 09 in front of the technology museum”
"Certainly! See you on Sunday then!"
"See you on Sunday"
You say a last goodbye and then part ways and everyone goes back to their homes, with the excitement of the next meeting.
✧˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚。⋆✧˖°⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。˚
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥Mikey
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✧˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚。⋆✧˖°⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。˚
You left school relatively late, had extracurricular classes and were exhausted.
The only thing you wanted to do was go home and lie down in bed.
At least that's what you wanted to do until you passed the arcade.
You tried with all your might not to fall into temptation and to go straight to go home but in the end you entered with the premise of playing only a few games and nothing more.
You went straight to the coin change machine and put in a $5 bill. You waited a few seconds until the tokens were dispensed.
You grabbed them and headed to your favorite game.
You inserted the coin and started playing attracting some boys curious about your skill.
Game after game you were winning many tickets for prizes but suddenly you got stuck.
You heard a very familiar voice. It was the voice of one of the bullies at your school.
They personally never did anything wrong to you but they were well known for their barbaric ways of relating to people and their squalor in stealing money from smaller boys to spend it in the arcade.
Tired of their attitudes you took your points by putting them in your backpack and leaving the game halfway through and headed towards them.
“Hey you!”
The two bullies turned to you.
"What do you want little girl?"
"Forget that poor boy"
“These are none of your business! We let you go because you're a girl, but if you poke your nose into things that don't concern you, we'll beat you up!"
“Oh? Really?"
"Yes, really! So go ahead, are you still in time!”
"Come on then!"
"You wanted it!"
The two boys threw themselves at you but you easily managed to throw both of them to the ground.
You have practiced karate and self-defense since you were little, that's why you were able to defend yourself with great simplicity.
The two looked at each other panicked and got up quickly trembling.
“Don't think we're going to run over this thing! Next time you won't be so lucky!” and in a very short while they were running away in fear.
You immediately turned around and helped the boy who had been surrounded by the two bullies to get up.
"Are you OK?"
“Yes, thank you very much”
"Don't thank me, the important thing is that you're fine"
“You were amazing to knock them out!”
"Thank you but I really didn't do anything that"
"However, nice to meet you, I'm Michelangelo but you can call me Mikey"
“I am Y/n”
"Sounds cool!"
“Is that wrong or is it a skateboard?”
“No, you're not wrong, it's really a skate”
“Why don't we go to the skate park together sometime?”
“I like it as an idea!”
you suddenly remember the stitches you put inside the backpack.
“Mikey, come with me!”
You take his hand and drag him to the pick-up point.
"Hi, I would like two of those" you indicate two sachets with stickers.
The guy behind the counter hands them to you and you hand one to Mikey
“Here you go, they are skateboard stickers, I hope you like them”
“I-I can't accept them! You won them, they're yours!"
“Yes, you can accept them! Take them as a sign of our new friendship."
The boy looked at you for a moment and then smiled and grabbed them.
"Then thank you"
"You're welcome"
You're gaze falls on the clock.
"Hate! It's very late, I have to go home!"
You quickly grab your backpack.
“Tomorrow night I'm going to the skatepark, hope to meet you there! Bye bye Mikey”
You wave at him and then run out and run back home.
✧˖°.✧˖°.⟡⋆⭒˚。⋆✧˖°⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。˚
I'm too excited to release these one-shorts.
I love RotTmnt too much and I needed to write something for them.
I hope you enjoy them! ʚ✩ɞ
A big hug ♡
44 notes · View notes
bratshaws · 2 years ago
Text
through the hourglass 109. brb x oc
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a/n: there's nothing I love more than writing Rooster being a good dad. <3
pairing: plus size!oc x rooster
warnings: none. pure fluff
goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)
chapter
1/
50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64/65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85/86/87/88
/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102/103/104/105
/106/107/108
(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )
taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix
@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls
@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2
@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12
@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @dhwanishah09 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva
-
The last time he actually baked was when he was in college and it was the cheapest form of cherry pie he could have within his situation. Now he had the financial power to buy ingredients and it was incredibly fun to do it with Nikki.
He was using the kangaroo carrier while in the grocery store, his little daughter happily pointing at random colored products and giggling whenever he picked it up, “No,no,Nikki, we have to find cherries. Mama loves cherries and I know she’d appreciate something sweet once she gets home.”
“Bbuhh,” Nikki kicks her legs while inside the carrier, shaking her little fists, “Naah! Buhbuh! Mama!”
“Yes, for mama.” he grins, picking a jar of cherries and immediately putting it back when he saw the price, “Jesus Christ, are these grown in gold?! Why are they so expensive?”
“Buuhb buaahh buh!”
“Damn,right Nikki, it’s really expensive.” he even pushes the jar further away from him with a grimace, “Well, let’s see if there’s something better and within our price range.”
Nicole just vocalizes more, chewing her little fist as Rooster walked down the aisle, not seeing the people looking his way. “Ooohh, this one is nice.” he smirks, turning the smaller jar in his hand to check the price, “And it’s cheaper, hell yeah,we are getting it Birdie.”
She giggles while moving in his chest, trying to grab the jar in his hold, “When you are older I’m going to teach you how to drink the cherry juice. It’s sweet enough to give you a lot of cavities and it might make you go into a sugar rush but,it’s worth it.” 
Nicole had no idea what he just said but she smiled nonetheless. Rooster kissed the top of her head before putting it into the basket, “Now we need…flour. Listen Birdie,I know it’s easier to buy premade pie dough,” he explains while walking away, “However, your dad, who is really smart and likes to think quickly, prefers to make them. It’s a lot more fun…and I’m going to teach you that too, you know it.”
She appeared to be excited if the way she wriggled in the kangaroo carrier was any sign, “And let’s get some treats for the pups as well,I know it’ll be very welcome.” he finally noticed some people looking his way, whispering to themselves and he just stared back. If there was one thing that Beatrice said he was, was that he could be very…intimidating if he wanted to.
And right now, he was buying groceries, with his baby daughter on his chest, so he could bake his wife a comfort cherry pie because she felt sick. He didn’t want people staring and whispering to each other when he does so. He also didn’t want to confront them with Nicole on his chest, so he just glared at them until they took a hint and slowly walked away.
Was it so strange seeing a father with his daughter just out and about?
Then again he only came to this grocery store with Beatrice…maybe that’s why people were confused about.
But in any case, it made no sense. Bradley just huffed indignantly, walking towards the dry ingredients area and ignoring the looks he got, “Well,I have an amazing time with my daughter,” he murmurs to himself, the sound making Nicole tilt her head up to look at him and grin happily, “You do too,don’t you Birdie?” she giggles while kicking her legs, “Of course you do.”
But he could hear them commenting to one another that it was so sweet that he helps his wife by taking care of their daughter. And he frowns again because he hated stuff like that. He had to admit ever since having Nicole he’s been getting some unwanted advice from the older pilots back at the base that he didn’t have to ‘join in’ certain activities because obviously it was his wife’s job to do.
And he always had a grimace when he heard that.
Because taking care of Nicole wasn’t a job, it was his responsibility. Of course, he had limited time and there were things he couldn’t be part of, but he wanted to be with Nicole and be with Beatrice, there was nothing outstanding about him taking his daughter out on a walk or bringing her to the grocery store. 
He knew he wasn’t the type of dad who’d be around often, hence why he chose to be with Nicole every second that he could. The fact he wasn’t deployed was the best thing that he could ever ask for, he couldn’t understand how the other officers didn’t seem to get how precious these moments were.
Bradley hummed, “Anyway,” he kisses Nicole’s head “Let’s get a few more things and then we can go home.” Nicole vocalized more, wriggling her little legs and he laughed when she let out a high pitched squeal as they walked away. He couldn’t get this anywhere else, he didn’t want to get this anywhere else, hell, he was able to see his daughter grow little by little.
Was it scary? Yes.
Because Nicole’s little body was getting longer, some clothes no longer fit her and she was already speaking for God’s sake. “I don’t want to think that soon enough you’ll be asked out for prom by some kid that I’ll clearly not like,” he mumbles, “But I’ll support you because you are not our property, Nikki, you are our little baby girl who just wants to have fun and dance to songs that are considered vintage…like 50 Cent.” he pauses, “Oh God, 50 Cent will be considered a throwback artist, oh Jesus Christ.”
“Buh!”
“I know right? Crazy…and you won’t know what cassete tapes are.” he makes an even more horrified face, “You won’t know what cd players are- we have to keep you up with our technology,baby girl because you’ll have no idea what half of the things me and your mother liked are.”
“Ah?”
“No,I know, I know,you’ll have your own thing,I know that.” he grabs a bag of flour and checks the weight by turning it in his hand, furrowing his brows, “But you’ll also have to know some old songs, older than me.”
He pauses again, just now hearing his own words…and he inhaled sharply, then cleared his throat, “Anyway! Let’s just ignore this conversation the best we can.” he could already feel his mental joints cracking because of what he said, “Because you won’t remember and,’ he laughs nervously, “Neither will I! So that’s great.”
“Abububuh! Dada!”
“Yes,I know, it’s crazy.” he didn’t want to talk about it anymore because the more he thought about it, the more he noticed the difference between them and their daughter’s minds would be. 
Nicole wriggled a bit more on his chest, watching everything her father put into the basket with wide eyes, reaching for the more colorful ones, tapping the outside of whatever container it was whenever Rooster held it close enough for her to touch. He smiles down at her, her curiosity was one of the cutest things he had ever seen, because she was always forward with her touching and grabbing.
Some of the toys they got were pretty good for her mind, he knew it because she always paid attention with the ones with shapes and colors. She loved colors, in anything and everything, he had a feeling that in the future she wouldn’t change at all.
But enough thinking about that.
He checked the basket, muttering the names under his breath as he recalled everything he needed, “Fresh cherries, flour, eggs,dog treats…” he hummed, “I think we got everything.” he held the basket up to double check, “Mama needs something special when she gets home.” he says as he walks away from the aisle, towards the cashiers, “And it won’t be too heavy if she gets just a slice.”
Nicole’s eyes moved from the red basket to something else, “Dada.” she turns her head to the left, wriggling and giggling even more, “Buhbuh!” 
Rooster stops moving to see what she was looking at, blinking when he noticed it was flowers. Several flowers all lined up and ready to be taken home…he licked his lower lip, “Huh…you know what.” he gently pets the top of her head, “Mama would like some flowers too.” and he turns his heel towards the several colorful bouquets, smiling at his daughter’s obvious excitement, “Alright,alright, calm down there.”
There were so many colors that Nicole was just squealing and giggling nonstop, “Okay, how about you choose one?” he pays close attention to where Nicole was looking, her tiny hand coming up to her mouth as she nommed on her fingers - which meant she was getting hungry, he shouldn’t stall there for too long - kicking her legs in the air.
Nicole’s head kept returning to the bouquet of red roses on the outer left, big and wide, probably the biggest roses he had ever seen in a while…and there were a lot of them, “Damn, at least you have good taste,Birdie.” she squeals louder when he picks it up and holds just close enough for her to touch the petals, “Okay, let’s not get too close, these have thorns and if you hurt your little hands because of it I’d lose my shit.”
But it was a beautiful bouquet, Beatrice would love it.
He smirked while turning it on his hand, counting how many roses there were and immediately having an idea for when she was ready to come back home. With the shopping finally done, he approached the known cashier who only gave him a little smile when she saw Nicole dangling at her eye level, her light irises staring at the other woman curiously.
“So you finally brought her over to meet us.” she comments, the ‘ping!’ as each item passed the scanner filling up the silence.
“Yeah, well, I figured it was time to.”
“Beatrice is working?”
“She is.” he says, gently plucking a tiny piece of paper that got stuck on Nicole’s hair, “It’s Tuesday.”
After telling him the amount, he quickly paid and waved goodbye to everyone, every single person completely ignored him and ‘awwed’ loudly when Nicole tried to mimic his movements but only managed to shake her fist up and down. “Look at you.” he murmurs as they leave the store, “You are a little bundle of joy.”
Nicole vocalized something, as if agreeing with him.
-
“Okay, so,” he wraps the apron around his waist, then claps his hands together, “Nikki, we are going to make a pie…and when I say we I mean me because you are too small.” he looks back to where she was, seated happily in her bouncer after having her dinner, the dogs all around her and giving him a confused stare, “When you are old enough I’ll teach you this, your grandma taught me after all.”
His mother would sometimes wake at three in the morning to bake. He’d sometimes wake up to find a full on red velvet cake sitting in the middle of the kitchen table and that was his breakfast.
Was it healthy?
No, but it was delicious and he was the only kid in his class that could say that his mom baked cakes for breakfast. He smiles fondly at the memories of his mother, who never got dirty, she rarely had one hair out of place when she cooked or baked…him however, well, that was a different story.
Carole loved watching him learn new things, laughing every time some of the batter landed on his cheek and because he’d always get embarrassed she’d just swipe some on her own cheek so he wouldn’t be alone. 
He smiles as he recalls the memories, popping the cherries’ jar open with a twist of his wrist before dropping the content inside a pot with sugar and half a lemon. These past weeks were complicated, for him mentally, because he was…confused by a lot of things, about Mav, about his mother, about what they did…but he knew he had to deal with them now, he should deal with them now because if he took too long it’d just fester and hurt him.
Beatrice was right on him starting therapy and maybe when he was able to, if he’s not deployed, he’s going to start. There’s a lot of worms that are still canned up and locked tight inside of him, he refused to let them go but if he wanted to have good mental health during their time together, this is what he had to do.
“I should stop running away from these thoughts.” he mutters as he measures the flour with his own fist - something his mother also taught, no need for spoons or anything of the sort. The dough is the easy part, normally he’d leave it in the fridge overnight but since he just now decided to do it, thirty minutes would have to do.
He looks over to Nicole to check on her, smiling the second he sees his baby girl is fast asleep, her pacifier in her mouth and the dogs all snoozing around her, like the Great Wall of Pitbulls. He stands there, looking at her for a few more seconds, admiring that little thing that was created by both of them with his eyes shining.
He was happy.
It took him a while to understand that he should feel this way, he had the right to.
He did a lot for everyone, he was always there if anyone needed a hand and sometimes he forgot to check himself. He had a great group of friends - jerks,all of them, but he says that fondly-, he had his uncle back - it was still developing but he had a good feeling about it -, and most important…he had Beatrice.
His heart still did somersaults when he thought about her, that cute smile and red cheeks had him trapped and he refused to get out. Bradley’s lips pursed in hopes it’d cover his smile, but without any success…they’ve been together for three years and yet he feels like they’ve known each other for so long.
Beatrice’s personality and self surely helped, she was kind and understanding and she wanted to help him how she could…and both of them had issues voicing their own traumas, which he could understand completely. It was almost funny how similar the two of them were…in their very own ways.
If he could go back in time and meet her again, he would. All the time, she’d be his choice all the time no matter what. His eyes were always on her, his smile only widened because of her.
He knew of her own issues, he knew she still had them - even though she got a lot better over time - and she knew he’d be there for her, just like she was for him. “Alright,” he looks down at the ball of dough, wrapping it with saran wrap and giving it a slap for good measure, ‘Now, chilling for thirty minutes and then we can worry about that later.”
It was also the time for the filling to be done, he personally liked to turn off the heat every now and again to thicken it a bit.
He looked back at Nikki to make sure she was still asleep, she was, then looked for his phone. Wiping his hand on the apron before checking if he had any messages from Bea…and he did have! She just sent him one.
Bea (20:32)
Hi Roos! Just checking on you guys :) everything okay?
Roos (20:32)
Everything great,gorgeous. How about you, you okay? Feeling sick?
Bea (20:33)
Haha,no,I’m not feeling sick.I’m super okay actually! I think whatever bug was in my stomach it finally left. So I’m really good, enjoying my break a bit, it’s really full tonight.
Roos (20:35)
More than normal?
Bea (20:35)
Yes, more than normal. Evelyn showed up, Jake hated it because he doesn’t want her around the bar…which I understand but she didn’t like it, she wasn’t going to stay long.
Roos (20:36)
Honestly I’d do the same thing if it was you. Your pregnancy leave was great but if you showed up at the bar,pretty girl I’d carry you out again.
Bea (20:37)
Haha! Penny would never let me stay in any case…but anyway! What are you guys doing? Did you nap?
Roos (20:37)
We did a little bit,then we had dinner and Nikki is sleeping again…and I’m just chilling. Watching some tv.
He didn’t want to lie to her, but he also didn’t want her to know about the surprise.
Bea (20:39)
Aw that’s nice! I’m so glad you guys have a lot of fun together! :) ❤️
Roos (20:40)
We always do,gorgeous. Shells is still bringing you home,right?
Bea (20:40)
Yes she is :) don’t worry about it.
Bradley smiles at the message, leaning his lower back against the counter as he replies to her next messages. He had a time crunch before she came home, so the second she said goodbye he had to get back to work.
Still looking back at Nikki every once in a while, he put the cherry pie together and smirked at how nice it looked, “Perfect.” he even raised it to his eyes to check if it was perfectly symmetrical and it was, “Oh,I’m so good at this.” he didn’t like to toot his own horn, but baking and cooking has been one of his favorite hobbies for a long time.
As he places the pie in the oven, he looks back at Nicole who’s still asleep, deciding that now he had to put her back in her crib. It was already late after all and he had some other things to prepare. So he carefully placed the apron on the table, then slowly picked Nicole up from the bouncer, his daughter whined a bit as she buried her face into his neck, “Guys,” he steps over the dogs, Eleanor and Jack already standing to their feet and following him up the stairs, “Time to tuck Nikki in.”
Bradley turns the cloud lamp in the corner of the room, giving the area a bluish glow that only added to Beatrice’s painting on the walls, his daughter sleeping peacefully against him, “Oh Birdie, if it wasn’t dangerous I’d just let you sleep on me.” he murmured, “But you gotta sleep on your own bed, because it’s the right thing to do.” he kisses her brown hair and cautiously pulls her away from his neck then slowly lowers her to the mattress.
He hovers his hands above her, waiting to see if she’d wake up or not but thankfully she didn’t. Nicole just turned her head away from him and sighed happily in her sleep. Rooster closes his eyes in relief, smiling down at her, “I gotta get stuff ready for mama.” he whispers, gently brushing his fingers on her forehead, “Sleep well,Birdie.”
He steps back from the crib, petting Eleanor and Jack as they walk past him to lie close to Nicole’s crib. He meets Jolene outside, the pittie following him down the stairs, “Alright,Jojo, you have a job.” the dog tilted her head at him, “You gotta alert me when Bea comes home, I need to set everything up.”
Jolene tilted her head the other way, then boofed in agreement, earning a nice scratch under the chin, “Good girl, you’ll get some treats because of that.”
Rooster knew he had a little bit more time, so he rushed to the living room where the roses were seated. Grabbing a few of them and after making a mental route in his mind, he ripped some of the petals and dropped them to the floor, “Don’t eat those,Jojo.” he says when the pitbull tries to lick one, “These look beautiful but I needed to do this.” and he creates the perfect trail towards the kitchen, letting some of the petals flutter down to the table where the pie would be once it was done.
And it wouldn’t take too long.
He was so glad he checked the time perfectly, it’d be still warm the second Shells’ car was parked in front of their house. And since she wasn’t closing tonight, it was more than great.
He checked the pie one last time, the smell was delicious, and pulled it out of the oven with his eyes wide, “Look at this Jojo,” he whispers, “It’s a golden masterpiece.” it did look really good, the crust was perfect, the filling was bubbling and his wife was going to enjoy a Bradshaw ‘Feel Good’ Pie. 
Bradley places it right in the middle of the table on top of the hot pad, turning it a bit so the pie would be facing the threshold directly when Bea walked inside. “Perfect,” he whispers, looking down at his phone to check the time, “Perfect, she’ll be here in a few minutes!”
He didn’t know why he was so excited.
Well,maybe he did, but he couldn’t elaborate right now.
Bradley looks at himself one last time, tapping some flour that stuck to his arms as he does so, before he walks to the front door with Jolene, carefully avoiding the trail of petals. They sit down outside, his eyes moving around their neighborhood as he noticed the Christmas decoration already on the outside…they had to get their own, it’d be the second time he’d decorate the house with Beatrice and now with Nikki.
He wanted his daughter to have wonderful memories with them, especially with him. He still feared getting deployed for a year or more, hoping that whatever time it was that it’d go by quickly. He frowned, choosing to not think about that and be thankful he could spend some time with his family, especially Christmas and then the New Year in Virginia.
He knew some other officers aren’t as lucky, so he shouldn’t worry too much.
Both his head and Jolene’s turn to the car slowly approaching, his smile widening when he sees Beatrice’s head on the passenger side. He slowly stands to his feet to greet her, opening his arms and engulfing Beatrice in a bear hug, kissing her forehead and nose, then her lips, “Hi,gorgeous.” he smiles, gently swiping a strand of hair away from her forehead, “Feeling good?”
“Mhm!” she grins, turning back to look at her friend, “Thanks for the ride,Shells!”
‘Anytime,lovebirds!” the blonde tosses them a thumbs up, already driving off, “Sleep well,kids! Don’t do anything illegal!”
Beatrice rolled her eyes at her friend’s jab, about to step away to go inside but Rooster held her in place, “Brad.” she smiles confusedly, “Why are you holding me like this?”
“Close your eyes.”
“Huh?”
“Just for a little bit?” he says, already grabbing the door handle, “You’ll like it,I promise.”
Beatrice furrows her brows briefly, but lets him take hold of her hand as she closes her eyes with a little smile, a smile that only widened when he took her bag from her shoulder and opened the door. Beatrice’s feet move towards the inside, something amazing hits her nose, “The house smells great, what did you do?”
“You’ll see.” he calls Jolene inside and closes the door, “Okay,open them.”
Her eyes blink open, looking around a bit and then finally dropping to the floor where a trail of rose petals lead to the kitchen, “Roos!” she gasps while laughing, “What’s this?”
“A surprise, you weren’t feeling good.” 
“I—Rooster, what did you do? You didn’t have to do that,” but her shining eyes and bright smile said otherwise, “Oh this is so amazing!” she lets him guide her further towards the kitchen, where she couldn’t help but let out a gentle laugh once she sees what’s waiting for her, “Oh my god, you baked me pie?”
“The one and only Bradshaw Feel Good Cherry Pie.”
Her eyes squint a bit, “You just made that up.”
“Yes,yes I did.” he chuckles, “Come on, it’s still warm.”
Beatrice laughs a bit more, her eyes stopping however at the large bouquet of red roses next to the pie. “Oh…Roos…” she didn’t want to ignore his hard work, but those roses looked so beautiful she beelined directly towards it, burying her nose into the crimson petals, “Oh this is so beautiful.”
Rooster smiles as he places the plates down, “Nikki chose it.”
“She did?”
“Hmhm,” his wife is still thumbing each petal, her eyes shining with tears, “Hey…you okay?”
Beatrice sniffles, laughing weakly, ‘I’m just…this is so sweet,you didn’t have to do any of this,Roos….my God, you had fresh cherry pie waiting for me…and…and flowers! Oh…” she blushed a bright red while trying to hold back her tears, “You are just so sweet, I love you.” Beatrice turns around to meet his lips in a gentle kiss, “I love you so much.”
He grins back at her, kissing her lips just as gently, “I love you too,gorgeous. A whole fuckin’ lot…now, you want some ice cream with the pie?”
“Will you eat it with me?”
“You don’t even have to ask.”
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nik-840 · 2 years ago
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Lucifer x Gn Reader
Description: The reader is an Angle that used to be Lucifer's lover. However due to God intervening the couple no longer remember each other
Word Count: 2,620
Long ago just before the great war, God created a string of new Angels, just a handful. They were unrelated to God’s other children. They were created by him, yes but they were not children of the Goddes or children at all really. They were meant to be soldiers and soldiers only. But there is always a calm before a storm and in this calm two angels fell in love, the light bringer and his favorite star.
God could see everything or just about everything. He could see how Lucifer’s love for you overshadowed everything else. He saw that this would lead to Lucifer’s ultimate betrayal. If only he could see how his actions played a role in all this.
God decides to kick you out of heaven technically making you the first to fall. Except you didn't go to hell, you fell to earth lost and confused. This is the final straw for Lucifer and the war is waged. Once it's over the memory of Lucifer’s lover is erased from the minds of everyone who knew them. 
When you fell you lost your wings and with them, went your ability to remember not just the days in Eden but also the lifetimes spent walking the Earth alone. You wander for millennials never quite sure what's missing until you find him again in a city called Los Angeles.
The memories don’t come back for either of you when you find him again. But you become close and you just hold on to him. It doesn’t take long for you to realize you are in love with him but he was occupied with Chole. You didn’t want to say that you hated Chole but you strongly disliked her.
It had been a month or so since Lucifer revealed the truth to her. She was a wreck and ran off to Europe. She hadn’t even been back for a week and you had already noticed how it was affecting Lucifer. He was in more distress now than he had been the whole time she was gone. You were already tired of her. Lucifer would never say anything about it; he's too worried about her opinion of him. You on the other hand couldn't give two shits what she thought of you. You had a bone to pick with her so you showed up on her doorstep. 
“What the fuck is your problem?!” She looked completely dismayed.
“Excuse me?”
“You've been treating Lucifer like shit since you got back from your stupid trip.” She stuttered for a while trying to come up with a good reason. “Don't lie Decker you ran off to Europe for space or whatever. But now you're back and you're acting like he's harmed you.” 
“I've been going through a lot this isn't easy for me. Would it make me crazy if I was scared of him? I mean Lucifer, he's dangerous.”
“ Of course, he’s fucking dangerous he's the devil who cares?”
“What?”
“You're not the only human who's in on the secret Chloe but you are the only one who reacted like this. I've known for way longer than you and I've never been scared and it's not because I'm blind to the fact that he could hurt me or others. I'm not scared because he's never given me a reason to be. I know he won't hurt me because all he's ever done is protect me and you for that matter. He's powerful but I know he would never hurt an innocent person. Being scared of him might not make you crazy but it definitely makes you weak.”
All she does is stare and stutter as tears start to build up in her eyes. 
“Listen you need to get your shit together or break it off. Pretending that you care while you won't let Trixie see Maze and jump when Lucifer touches you is just sick. Make a decision or I’ll make it for you.”
You weren't waiting on a response so you just walked off and got in your car you had nothing else to say to Chole Decker. Plus there was someone who needed your attention back at Lux. When you get there the first person you see is Maze whose apparently been looking for you. 
“Where’ve you been all night your missing the party.”
 “Oh you know just out I had to make a stop off on my way here.”
 “Oh?” She looked mildly interested hoping it was something exciting. 
 “Yeah, nothing interesting I just had to talk to someone. Don't worry about that where’s Lucifer?” 
“He's upstairs sulking that's all he does these days.” She’s annoyed she and lucifer are dealing with Chole’s bullshit very differently, she doesn't understand him. You head upstairs and there he is, sitting at the piano playing some melancholy tune you don't recognize. You pour a drink for the both of you and set his down on the piano. You sit with him listening as the song flows out from the piano. You lean your head on his shoulder when the song ends and slide his drink just a bit closer to him. 
“Drink, Luci?”
 “Thank you.”
“You look a mess.”
“Why thank you Y/N as charming as ever.”
“Seriously though I know things have been rough lately but playing sad piano in the dark and not changing your clothes for days will not help. I'm not saying you have to go party I’m not even saying you have to leave your room. I’m just saying maybe take a shower.” He's about to say something stupid to get you off his back. “Listen if you shower ill do everything else, get you ready for bed, comb your hair, I’ll even pick out your suit for tomorrow, ok just shower you smell.”
He doesn't even say anything, just gets up and heads towards the bedroom slowly stripping. 
In his closet, you go through his wardrobe and pick out a suit for him. But not just any suit, it was your favorite. Something about Lucifer in this was just top-notch. When you're done with that you get everything ready for bed 
You sit at the edge of his bed waiting. You scroll through Twitter, TikTok, and then Tumblr. You were pretty sure he was just standing under the water but that’s ok 
When he comes out he’s wearing just a pair of skin-tight black boxers. He collapses into bed beside you. You move so you’re sitting next to his head and run your fingers through his hair.
“I bet that feels better.”
“Thank you.” He says as he moves his head to rest on your lap. 
“Oh don't get all mushy on me, Luci.”
“No I’m serious, Thank you.” 
“Whatever.” You run your fingers through his hair and scratch his head till he goes to sleep. You usually only slept over at the penthouse when Lucifer thought you weren’t able to get home safely. But you didn’t feel like going home today, not when you had Lucifer on your lap snoring softly plus it was like two in the morning. So you shifted around getting comfortable and Lucifer just followed your body heat while grumbling. 
When you wake up again it’s to a phone call from your best friend and roommate. You immediately realize your mistake. You get out of bed as quickly as possible without waking Lucifer. You answer the phone on the other.
“Before you start I'm sorry I didn't mean to sleep over or to fall asleep without checking in.”
“Mhm hmm, you always say the same thing I figured you were with him so I texted maze and she confirmed. That's not why I called.”
“Oh ok, what's up then?”
“You tell me I thought you said you weren't going to sleep over there anymore because it made you feel like you two were closer than you are.”
“I know what I said It's just he was so sad and I couldn't leave him like that.”
“Y/n-”
“Don't! I know what you're going to say ‘it's not my job to take care of him, especially not when it comes at the cost of my peace. But I'm not at peace when he's sad, I just want so desperately for him to be happy.” There's a beat of silence as you think. “I could let him go if that's what it took but she treats him like shit. I know I probably just sound like some jealous idiot but he spends so much time worrying about if she'll turn her back on him and he deserves so much more than that.”
“I understand just remember to take care of yourself too. And text me when you're not coming home asshole.” You laugh for a moment thankful for the change in conversation. 
“Again I'm sorry and I will next time I promise. I'll see you later.” You say your goodbyes and hang up.
You take a couple of deep breaths before heading back upstairs to find Lucifer awake in bed.
“Where did you run off to?” He asks just as you step into the bedroom. 
“Just downstairs I had to take a call and I didn't want to wake you.” You sit at the end of the bed. “Anyway, what do you want to do today? We could be responsible adults and do something productive or we could get high out if our minds order food and watch Alice in Wonderland.” You start smirking before you even finish the sentence knowing exactly which option he's going to choose.
After the first blunt, you were starting to feel it and words started falling out of your mouth.
“You know that I care about you right? You, Maze, and Ash are all I have all I've ever had.” You don’t know why you asked him that because you didn't even let him answer you just started the movie you pulled up before. 
You honestly don't remember watching the movie. It felt like you blinked and then the credits were rolling. It didn't matter though you and Lucifer had split two blunts and you felt amazing. At some point, Maze showed up and she and Lucifer continued to smoke long after you had tapped out. The day was blissful for obvious reasons you even remembered to text your roommate before you passed out on the couch. 
~~~~
You guessed that something changed between Chole and Lucifer because he was back to going on cases with her. You hoped that she finally pulled her head out of her ass but you for some reason doubted that. You had gotten out of work early and just went back to your apartment to hang with your roommate. You guys had started a show together about a week ago and then you both got super busy. You had gotten through a couple of episodes when you got an SOS from Maze. Chole had fucked up big this time though you couldn’t imagine what could possibly be worse than the way she had already been acting. Nothing could have prepared you for what you found out.
He didn't even yell, he just explained what happened while sipping on his drink. You could tell he was a few drinks in and he looked a mess. You could see why though. Chole had been going behind his back working with a priest if you could even call him that. She had intended on banishing Lucifer back to hell. The betrayal was truly unbelievable. You didn’t know you had to comfort what could you say that could ease that kind of pain? You guessed you would just love him through it. Through all of it. 
Eventually, Lucifer gets bored of drinking and just goes to bed you didn’t want to leave so you just go sleep on the couch. The next morning you woke up and made Lucifer breakfast in bed you just wanted to remind him that he was deserving of love. He had barely spoken since he woke but just as he finishes eating he asks you a question. 
“Why did you stay?”
“What do you mean?”
“After you saw my face.”
“I don't know I guess I've spent my whole life alone and empty. When we met I felt that for the first time in my life I wasn't alone. So losing that over you being exactly who you said you were just felt stupid.”
“But what about me makes you feel that way? Why me?”
“I don’t know Luci, does it matter? All I know is that you make me feel warm and safe.”
“I make you feel safe?”
“I mean yeah are you surprised all you've done since we met is take care of me and encourage me to do the same for myself?”
He just stares at you sort of shellshocked which is so confusing to you because what did he think was happening here? Did he genuinely think that this entire time you were scared of him deep down? How could he think that? How could you be scared of this man you loved him with every fiber of your being. The thought brought you so much pain you just pulled him closer from where he was sitting on the bed. He was basically sitting in your lap now and you held him tight to your chest and he curled up to you.
You lean down and kiss the top of his head. You get that feeling that you sometimes get when you are with him. A strange sense of deja vu like you've done this before comforted him, held him close, kissed him. Sometimes you get these flashes almost like memories but they always disappear before you can fully understand what they are. You always just hold Lucifer a little tighter in those moments. 
At some point, Lucifer crawls out of your lap and puts on a random movie for the two of you to watch. Neither of you is really paying attention though. You feel his eyes on you for a while before you say anything. 
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He doesn’t say anything, he looks at you and makes eye contact before slowly leaning in. After a moment of thought, you lean in too. The kiss isn’t much just a soft press of lips but the feeling that runs through you forcing a gasp from your lips.
Memories flood into your mind so quickly that you can’t even decipher them. Tears start to flow from your eyes. Lucifer is stunned and confused but then shock falls over his face and calls your name. 
“You… you have wings.” You just stare at him as you try to sort through the memories. It seems that Lucifer’s memory begins to come back as well. 
He reaches out to cup you’re face and runs his thumb over your cheek. His old name falls off your lips “Samael.” The name makes him uncomfortable and he expresses that much to you asking you to just call him Lucifer. You lean in again and kiss his cheek and whisper “Of course, my love.” This immediately brings back the tenderness of the moment. 
The memories of before wrap around you like a warm well-loved blanket. All you want is to be as close to him as possible. All the centuries spent apart so cold and alone you just needed to keep him close. You pull him into another kiss and your wings wrap around him pulling him as close as possible. He chuckled “Missed me did you?” He said it as a joke but you knew he wanted a real answer. 
“Every day Lucifer. Every day even when I couldn’t remember.”
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peachymilkandcream · 7 months ago
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Ready or Not|Part 8|Yandere Levi x Evelyn
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(A/N: This one is also pretty violent, please read the warnings beofre continuing. Hope you enjoy and comment to be added to the taglist!)
WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, graphic depictions of violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.
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Levi wrinkled his nose with disgust at the sight of this new country, no one knew who he was and therefore didn't treat him with the unwavering respect he demanded. If only these people knew what he had done for them, how he had stopped Eren from flattening every single one of them, then they would bow before him and acknowledge his superiority.
He couldn't linger on it too long, while his main mission was to recover his lost property, he had a personal debt to settle with a certain family.
==============================================
The last person Kiyomi Azumabito expected to walk through her door was the infamous Levi Ackerman, she had made great strides to keep her relationship with the island purely professional since her recent involvement with Mrs. Ackerman.
"Captain Levi, what a pleasant surprise, what brings you all the way here? I would have expected you to look for me in Hizuru."
"Cut the bullshit. Where is she."
"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm here on business as well. We've recently come into a trading agreement with these lands, and I was in the middle of finalizing them, so if you'll excuse me I don't have time to chat. However you can make an appointment on the way out."
"I know you helped her, and I want you to help me, I'm quite tired of searching so I'd appreciate it if you just surrendered her to me now."
"What makes you think I have any inclination to help you?"
His eyebrow twitches. "When I tell you that I will hunt down every member of your family and slaughter them. Then I'll bring you a fresh body belonging to one of your kin every day, stopping only when you tell me where she is. Continue to refuse and I'll spill your blood on this hardwood floor before going through your records and find out for myself."
"All of this for one woman? You're a sick and depraved man."
"I will comb every country still left standing until I find her. You're nothing more than an obstacle."
"Then I suppose you better be ready to dirty your hands Captain. Because with the large sum of your money your wife gave me, I'm afraid it's worth more to keep her secret than your idle threats."
"Very well then, I'll be back in bright and early tomorrow Kiyomi." He smirks and takes his leave, if only Kiyomi knew how desperate he truly was.
===============================================
Could he have spent his time simply looking for Evelyn? Perhaps. But Levi was not one to let anyone get away with insulting him. He had to prove a point, he had to ensure everyone he came in contact with knew he was a man to be feared and revered.
Since this country was a neighbor to Hizuru, finding plenty of civilians with the family seal was no issue whatsoever.
No one would be spared from his wrath, man, woman and child all fell to his blade as he cut down every last one of them.
Kiyomi was horrified to see the Captain drag in a fresh body every morning. Never once was he late, blood staining her floors every time. And every time he always demanded the same thing.
"Tell me where she is."
And every time Kiyomi would refuse, leading him to swear he would be back the next day with another body.
Levi was a man of his word, and continued to return with dedication, slaughtering each Azumibitio member as he came across them.
================================================
On that final day he brought in the last stinking body, a small child cut open from the throat to the stomach.
He dumped it at her feet. "I'll ask you one last time. Where is she."
She was horrified, this man had committed such horrors all to find his wife. However she was determined, this wasn't about the money anymore, it was about showing this small man she wasn't afraid of him, that he wasn't this invincible god. "I told you I'll take it to my grave."
"Good, makes things easier." In a swift move he puts a bullet through her chest, watching as she crumples to the ground. "You know you're really stupid to die on this hill."
Levi steps over her, foolishly trying to put pressure on the wound.
"You'll die prematurely, for what? To prove a point? Your life is cheap. All of your greed, pride, amounted to nothing. I still win, and there's nothing a single person can do to stop me. All of you people show an ounce of defiance to try and feel superior, and you're all crushed like bugs."
She reaches for him, trying to get him to stop going through her things, it can't end like this. It can't end with him winning.
"You're pathetic." Levi turns towards her and steps on the wound, making her cry out in pain. "All you'll ever be is forgotten." He kicks her to the side and continues his search.
"Stop-.." She manages, the last thing she sees in life is the dark grin as Levi holds up a sheet of paper.
"Found you." He smiles wider, looking at the neatly printed address.
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mrsnancywheeler · 7 months ago
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hiii omg so sorry i haven't been in your inbox! finals have been sweeping me away, but i've been lurking 👁️👁️ ok so i was listening to my playlists and had some #thoughts, so I shall share them to make up for the time i was gone 🤝😎 ----- I Want to Write You a Song - One Direction
I want to lend you my coat One that's as soft as your cheek So when the world is cold You'll have a hiding place you can go I want to lend you my coat Everything I need I get from you Givin' back is all I wanna do (…) I want to write you a song One to make your heart remember me So any time I'm gone You can listen to my voice and sing along I'm such 1D trash 😭😭 But this was on my yearning playlist (lmao) and I was thinking about how Finnick would 1000% write this song for his sweet girl. Like this is such a simp song (respectfully) and we all know Finnick is so in love with her its SICK ----- In Agreement - Lizzy McAlpine I talk to my friends about you Pretty sure they're tired of hearin' it I say "I met a guy, and he treats me real nice" Which is good for a change I talk to my friends about you And I think they agree my exes weren't always great And I don't really buy into fate But you tell me I'm pretty And you don't ask for too much 'Cause you know and I know That promises sometimes can hurt When it's barely begun And I don't want this to fall through Collapsing is what I'm used to But we're all in agreement This is something I should hold onto (another song on my yearning playlist LMAO) but this is very much sweet girl coded #idk bc this is definitely her inner monologue when she first meets Finnick and they start dating 😭😭😭 AND WITH THAT IN MIND, IT MAKES THE LYRIC "'Cause you know and I know that promises sometimes can hurt when it's barely begun, and I don't want this to fall through. Collapsing is what I'm used to" HURTTTT ----- girl i've always been - Olivia Rodrigo *just the entire song*
No like, walk with me here 🚶‍♀️ because this is definitey something that could've been written by Billy's muse HOWEVER, it can be either about Billy OR, OR!! Eddie. Do we see the vision👁️👁️. For Billy, it's written from the pov of a reader who has a lil kick to her, who's done being the doormat and rips into him after he disrespects her and he's all like "???" For Eddie, it's more from the perspective of a reader who is always gonna pick Billy over Eddie. And she told him this many times. Yet, he still pursues her. And yet, he still get's upset that she always picks Billy. His intentions aren't coming from a good place. Like that one blurb you did about Eddie not being a fully good guy, y'know? I'm not good at explaining things so I hope I'm making sense LMAO ----- BACK TO FINNICK AND HIS SWEET GIRL! Block Me Out - Gracie Abrams
Now I only let me down When there's no one else around I've been thinkin' way too loud I wish that I could block me out I wish that I could block me out, out I think I'm burnin' alive, but nobody sees the fire 'Cause when I open my mouth, I seem to be stuck in silence And I thought of leaving tonight, but I couldn't drive this tired Plus, after all of this time, I should be a pretty crier (😭!!) Wish I were heavier now, I'm floating outside my body It's not their fault, but I've found that none of my friends will call me Until I'm left to myself, it's honestly kind of funny How every voice in my head is trying its best to haunt me This is another sweet girl coded song. This could deffo be applied to her after her games and after she's rescued from the Capitol :(((( ----- Finishing off with a bit of Miss Swift, this one part of Delicate reminds me of Finnick's sweet girl in the last couple of chapters: This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me Where she's finally letting Finn back in and allowing herself to be comfortable with him :') Also, some its and bits of Marjorie also remind me of this fic when I think about it from two perspectives:
The autumn chill that wakes me up You loved the amber skies so much Long limbs and frozen swims You'd always go past where our feet could touch And I complained the whole way there The car ride back and up the stairs I should've asked you questions I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me Should've kept every grocery store receipt
If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around I know better But I still feel you all around I know better But you're still around
One being Finnick when he's missing the reader while he's in 13 and she's at the Capitol :( (Sometime I remember that part in Chapter 1 of The River where he smells peaches in his oatmeal and starts breaking breaking down, and I cry 🥲) But the other one being the reader thinking about Conway. Even though he tried to kill her, she still reminisces about the best parts of her friendship and can't help but feel the guilt and regret whenever she does. ------ OK HEHE THOSE ARE MY #THOUGHTS 💆‍♀️ I didn't realize how long it's been since i've been in your inbox and it's been WAY TOO LONG! never again 🫡 I love yapping about these things and I love hearing your thoughts about it!! Also, apologies in advance for when Tortured Poets Department comes out bc it'll be the biggest yap session ever once I make a connection between Finnick/Billy and any of the songs -🦅
AAAAAAA POOKIE I CALLED AND YOU CAME ILY 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺💋💋💋💋
(sorry this took so long to get to I get so easily distracted and there's an to get through)
you're all good pookie, I hope finals are going good and that you're taking care of yourself babes 💕
finnick odair the type of man to make you a mixtape that's kinda messy and done wrong but you don't care because he's so sweet and you can hear him talking and all the songs that make him think of you, he's such a simp, and so adorable
justice for finnick's sweet girl. she really had so much hope, felt so loved, so in love and had it all torn away from her. she's so giddy to be perceived by someone especially finnick odair and just addicted to him
billy's muse getting annoyed with eddie and giving daisy some lyrics about eddie instead this time bc she's so done with the way he's always being so sweet and comforting and lovey dovey and then trying to convince her to leave billy for him even though she's told him from the start she wouldn't, and he makes her feel so selfish, and cold for it. but "now you're on my case, how could I go? you never dreamed I'd be so cold and, then with venom on your tounge you ask me who I have become" honestly in this case I think billy would love the song because it validates that she'll always pick him, that eddie, although he's a nusciance, isn't a real threat and never had been.
and eddie gets annoyed for a good while and is pissy about it, which is painful for muse because she feels like she's got no one when her and billy argue. but eddie comes crawling back trying to win her over again regardless of how clear she's made it that he never stood a fighting chance.
SIDE NOTE: this song also makes me think of conway and sweet girl especially in that moment during their games when he's realizing everything and says she's changed which she denies. "so don't say that I've been acting different, I'm nothing if I'm not consistent" "I got wrapped up in the game again and you woke up in an empty bed, and I can't say I'm a perfect ten, but I am the girl I've always been"
aaaaa finnick's sweet girl, my poor tortured baby. the crying, the destructing when left with her thoughts, the death wishes, the silent cries for help that really aren't that silent, I want to hold her so bad
and for delicate, finnick's anxiety about not knowing what's not enough and too much for his sweet girl, where is the line? "is it cool that I said all that? is it chill that you're in my head? cause I know that it's delicate."
finnick thinking about how he should've done more, should have paid more attention even though he has her memorized, that somehow he should have savored every moment with her because he can't bear being without her. and the guilt because he wishes he'd supported her more, helped her heal more, he lies awake thinking about how he should've convinced her that life was worth living, that she was worth it because he has no idea what's happening to her now.
AND her thinking about conway, how she should've really paid attention to each tiny detail of their life before the games, each smile, joke, laugh, every damn moment before she destroyed it all. before snow destroyed it all. and she does see him everywhere and try not to break down, the beach they used to play on, the alleys they used to hide in to chat endlessly, their favorite field, favorite swimming hole, everything and it just makes her grieve.
I LOVE YOU POOKIE AND MISSED YOU 😭😭❤️❤️
SO REAL AND PLEASE SO I'M SO SO EXCITED FOR THE ALBUM AND I'M ALREADY SEARCHING FOR CONNECTIONS (billy and his muse as my boy only breaks his favorite toys, but daddy I love him, I can fix him (no really I can) I can do it with a broken heart)
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boots-with-the-fur-club · 8 months ago
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Here is more of the crossover AU between Mama Bear and @daboyau’s Leave AU!
Four is surprised but overjoyed when he doesn’t wake up from his dream in the morning. Raph is gently placing him in a seat back at the table.
He yawns and smiles. Sleeping late feels so good! Getting more than just the minimum requirement refreshes his whole body.
There’s a comfortable drowsiness still in his body. It’s in between falling asleep again and still being conscious.
A sweet smell hits his nose and causes his mouth to water.
He blinks to try to keep his eyes open and see what’s being served. Unfortunately, he’s still too sleepy. His hand feels around for a fork.
“I got ya, big guy.”
Four smiles more.
Raph lifts the fork to his mouth. Four opens it up and takes a big bite. Something fluffy and syrupy hits his tastebuds and it’s almost overwhelming how much he likes it.
He hums happily before chewing and swallowing.
“Why does Mikey get to be treated like a baby when he’s not feeling well but when I am you guys tell me to suck it up?” Leo grumbles.
“Because you fake being sick for attention and don’t tell us when you actually are sick?” Donnie answers.
Four cracks an eye open.
He sees Leo open and close his hand, making mocking noises.
Four giggles.
Leo smiles proudly at making him laugh.
“Raphael, let me feed Mikey. You should get to your food before it gets cold.” Julia urges.
“Ah ma, it’s fine. I like ‘em no matter the temperature.”
Four’s eyes open entirely.
Ma?
He means…..mother?
They don’t have a mother. Splinter being their father makes sense, it’s his DNA. Having a mother would be something they just decided, chose.
It causes excitement to spring through him and full wake him up.
“It’s okay, Raph, mom! I’ll feed myself.” Four takes the fork back.
Raph’s body droops slightly as he gets back to eating his own good. Four is confused, but doesn’t want his brother to be sad.
“Thanks for the help, Raphie!”
Raph’s tail wags.
“No problem, little bro.”
Four digs into his food with excitement. The strawberries topping it are so sweet and fresh. Juice runs down his face which he wipes away with his hand.
Draxum grumbles and Four fears he’s made a mistake for a moment. That is, until he grabs a napkin and softly rubs his mouth with it.
Four beams at the gentle attention.
After everyone’s eaten, Luke and Draxum head out, saying they’ll meet them where they’re all planning to go after taking care of something.
Four excitedly wonders what that place they’re going will be like.
He’s finally going out on the surface!
Julia, Splinter and his brothers have him help pack a lot of things. Drinks, food, boards that are soft for some reason, blankets, umbrellas, plastic little toys, and sunscreen.
Raph, Donnie, and Leo change into colorful shorts and tank tops. Four nearly squeals happily when he’s given his own clothes with just as many, if not more, designs.
When the front door opens, he runs out first and soaks in the warm sun on his skin. It feels better than any artificial light he’s ever been given.
It, however, is also bright.
He still smiles as he shields his eyes from the rays. He feels his arm get moved down and something placed over his eyes. Four tilts his head back to see it was Leo who also has something over his eyes.
“Sunglasses, courtesy of the real Two. Now we match.” Leo smiles.
Four smiles back widely and hugs him tightly. He’s always known how much Three loves him, but here he’s able to show it so much more.
That goes for all of them, really.
He knows now that they’d show it constantly if they could. More people could love him, too. They just needed the chance.
Leo hugs back before lifting him up and into the seat of a car. He hops into the seat next to him as well. Four wonders why this doesn’t have a roof to it.
Everyone else piles in as well, Julia commenting about Donnie upgrading a convertible to hold more seats.
Donnie smiles proudly, Four is so happy for him.
After a seatbelt check, Julia begins driving them. Four knows why there isn’t a roof anymore and he wishes there never was on a vehicle again.
The wind blasts onto his face in the most fun way. The sun continues shining on all of them. Music plays, something cheerful and loud to hear it over the wind.
There’s so much excitement here.
After a while, the vehicle stops. Everyone begins leaving it and grabbing things from the trunk.
Four would also help, but seeing everything in front of him makes him jump out and run towards it.
A portal opens in front of him, bringing him back to the group.
“Ah ah mi hermano. You know there’s something you need before you go out there! I’m not listening to you whining about aloe vera all night.” Leo sprays Four all over.
After everyone else is sprayed as well, Four runs out again, followed this time. A human sitting on a blanket under a large umbrella waves them over.
“Hey you guys! Took you long enough! We had to almost fight people away from the spot.”
“Almost!? I did!” A second human corrects.
“Casey did. Karai just chilled over here.” The original human states.
“I was keeping watch for the seagulls. They are truly the tougher battle.” Karai adds.
No way!
Even more humans!? And they’re friends!?
“Gasp, fabo nail colors April, you two!” Donnie comments.
Four looks at their nails.
Casey has slightly sharp, medium sized, black nails with white skulls painted on them.
April has short, sparkling green and yellow nails.
Karai has short, white, cherry blossom themed nails.
Their toes are painted to match.
“We thought we’d show Karai the updated way to get them done! She almost broke the foot bath because she didn’t know there’d be bubble but it was still fun.” April responds.
Four notices the way Karai stares at him. He stares back, cocking his head curiously with a smile. She looks confused.
“Are you okay?” Four asks.
“Yes, I am fine, are you? There is…..something different with you today.”
“I’m great! Thank you for asking!”
“….I see. What do you all want to do today?”
April, Casey, Raph, and Julia decide to play volleyball.
Splinter chooses to sun bathe.
Leo and Donnie want to play in the water.
Four has a hard time picking what to do but ultimately goes with the water as well. Karai joins them too.
The four of them go to the water.
Four squeaks and jumps slightly at how cold it is which earns some laughter from Leo.
Donnie kicks water at him.
This turns into a very large splash fight. Four joins in after he’s more used to the water. Karai winds up using moves that keep her dry and everyone else soaked.
Leo soon picks up seaweed and starts chasing Donnie and Mikey with it. Karai doesn’t seem too put off by it.
They finally take a break when Luke, Draxum, Pomona, and Usagi show up.
Four feels his heart nearly burst with joy as he sees just how happy Raph and Leo are to see their partners.
Their eyes are brighter, their laughs lighter, their body language even more relaxed.
The joy slowly dissipates into something else. Seeing how everyone thrives when able to be free and love as they want, it makes him wonder why Draxum sees it as such a bad thing.
Probably because war has no room for either.
This isn’t a dream, is it?
It’s not the future either.
He’s going to have to go back eventually.
He….doesn’t want to….
No! He can’t think like that! No matter how fun and nice this place is, he would never abandon his brothers!
There has to be a way to make this happen for them too!
Right?
He takes a step away from the group, starting not to feel well.
What has he been doing?
Having fun, eating yummy food, enjoying a world that isn’t his while One, Two, and Three are probably being experimented on.
Thoughts are beginning to overwhelm him.
He feels light headed.
A strong hand is firmly placed on his shell and something cold presses against his face.
“Michelangelo. You’ve been getting too much sun. Come, sit with me.” Karai suggests.
Four softly nods his head and goes with her to sit under one of the other umbrellas they bought.
Karai opens up the cold item and hands it to him.
He sucks on the straw and digs his feet into the sand. Yet another wonderful taste hits his tongue.
Apple.
Karai sits with her legs crossed.
“What is your name?”
“…..Four.”
“Just as I thought. You’re not from here.” Karai hums.
“Are you…..angry at me? I’m sorry, I thought this was a dream or something at first….” Four digs his feet in more.
Karai shakes her head.
“No, of course not. You have done nothing wrong and I know you’re telling the truth. I just worry for Mikey.”
Four takes an extra long sip of his drink.
“If….we switched places…..it’s not….a nice place to be.”
Karai is silent for a moment.
“While I worry, I know that I don’t truly need to. He is strong in many ways. You two are very similar.”
Four glances up at her.
“I don’t think so. I can’t make everyone happy like they are here. It’s so different.”
“It took a lot of work and hardship for it to be this way. It would not be fair to ask you to change anything on your own. That being said…..I’m sure you make the people in your life happy. Maybe the circumstances make it difficult for that to be at a certain level, but without you their lives would be…..darker. Without as much light.”
Four sniffles.
“I-I’m going to keep doing my best!”
Karai rubs his head.
“You always do. I am going to look into how to send you back, for now, I believe someone wants to build some sand castles with you.”
Four leans over to look.
Donnie, Draxum, and Luke are calling him over to be their assistant with forming the structure.
Four smiles, hugging Karai tightly before rushing off for more fun.
He hopes his Mikey appreciates everything he has.
He knows he does.
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juju-or-anya · 4 months ago
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why do you interact with that anti polin account. I get if you dont like Pen who is a character although i think thats plain fat phobia. Yes, even if you dont talk about her body you dislikng her actions so much mean you are fat phobic. But that account trash and make fun of nicola and luke!!!!
I think I know which accounts you're talking about, but I'm not entirely sure if it's that one because I follow many anti-Polin accounts. However, I think I have a pretty clear idea. So, I'll speak as if you had told me which account it is, but in a somewhat general manner.
Now, let's start in parts, as Jack the Ripper would say:
First, it's important to remember that people are three-dimensional, with diverse opinions and thoughts. We have social relationships where we share or disagree with others' opinions. Social interaction is based on this diversity of thoughts. What am I getting at? I can share certain opinions with a person, for example, my dislike for Penelope and Polin, but not share others, like my opinion on the changes made to the show.
Because of this, I can follow and interact with an account without agreeing with all their opinions. Thinking about that specific account we're talking about, I have many opinions that I share and many others that I don't. When they criticize Penelope respectfully, I like and share it. However, when they start being disrespectful and make comments I don't like, I prefer not to give visibility to that post.
Regarding the actors, I don't share any disrespect towards them, whether I like them or not. As a consumer of their work, I can critique their work respectfully. I've said it before: I don't like how Luke acts; personally, he doesn't convey anything to me. But, for example, I like how he sings; I have his cover of "Rewrite the Stars" from The Greatest Showman in my playlist, and I listen to it often because I love it. However, I'm the first to say that I don't like how he acts.
With Nicola, it's different. I'm not a fan of her, but I like how she acts. In fact, I started watching Bridgerton because of her. I liked her role as Claire in Derry Girls, and when I saw that she was in Bridgerton, I decided to give the show a chance. I had only read Daphne and Anthony's books, and although I liked them, I didn't have that hype for the show until I saw that Nicola was in it.
Fatphobia Issue:
I don't consider myself fatphobic or entitled to be for two reasons:
1. I don't like people making comments about my body, so why would I make comments about others' bodies? It would be hypocritical of me. During my childhood, I hated being mocked for my body. I'm skinny, but not conventionally skinny. They called me scrawny, sick, skeleton, anorexic, and bulimic, and that hurt me a lot. So why would I have the right to be fatphobic? I should treat others as I want to be treated: with respect. Whatever your body is like, I owe you respect simply because you're a person. It's basic human decency.
2. I'm a final-year medical student, and they teach me that as a future health professional, I can't comment on someone's body without them asking me to. And even if they do, I must fully respect the person. I can't comment without doing the necessary studies: blood, urine, hormones, etc. My job is to ensure my patient's physical and mental health. Medicine is individual and social, so each consultation and treatment must be tailored to each patient.
In Nicola's case, I don't consider her fat. Obviously, she isn't skinny, but I don't comment or talk about her body because she hasn't come to my hypothetical (and hopefully future) medical office asking for a consultation about her weight. So, I can't comment. I dislike any negative or "merely positive" (you know, those negative comments disguised as positive) comments about someone else's body. I don't share any comments about Nicola's body. She is beautiful, really beautiful.
For example, when I saw the comment about her body in a professional newspaper, it disgusted me. First, the journalist's lack of professionalism was appalling, and second, the comment itself was appalling. Any negative comment about Nicola's body I see as pure envy. A 39-year-old woman who looks beautiful, healthy, happy, has a successful career, and a lot of money, surrounded by equally beautiful people... any fatphobic comment is pure envy, and I don't take them seriously. What I recommend is therapy.
When I see the accounts I follow making comments about other people's bodies, I don't reblog them to avoid giving them visibility. Many times, I prefer to go to private messages and say: "Friend, your comment is not okay, I think it's crap. Reconsider your opinion on that topic, think about it, because it's not okay."
Maybe I should use my blog to raise awareness about fatphobia, but I try not to give visibility to topics I don't share on my blog. I'll try to be more open to these debates and give my opinion on the matter because I think it's very important, especially considering what I want to do. However, I feel insecure about talking about the subject because I don't want to fall into talking about other people's bodies.
I repeat, I don't share any disrespect towards the actors, from either the antis or the stans.
I hope this answered your question. If you have more doubts, keep asking. We'll try to answer them as long as it's with respect.
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skelletonscloset · 1 year ago
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So, I saw the ‘S/O with a persona like Wanderer who falls in love with Zack foster and helps him and Ray go to the next floor’ and I absolutely loved it!
And it gave me an idea! So, if I could, can I request almost the same thing except very different
so basically, the idea is Zack and Ray go to another floor, and there are two people up there. One with the personality of Nahida form Genshin Impact, and the other is with the personality of Wanderer from Genshin impact. And basically, this floor is after the fourth/Cassy’s floor. However, unlike the other residents, the one whose persona is like Nahida does not like killing anyone, and instead, tends to them, gives them food and water because unlike the other floors, this room has trees that give fruit, and has a lake with fresh and clean water, and the person with Nahida’s persona can make medicine. Often times when people reach their floor, the person with Nahida’s persona often tends to the person and gives them food and water for their meals for their long trip. Sometimes they might try to convince the person to stay but it never really works out for their end until the S/O with Wanderer’s persona shows up.
The one whose persona is like Wanderer used to be a sacrifice, but upon coming into the person (who I don’t know the name to call them so I’ll just keep calling them Nahida while I call the one whose persona is like Wanderer S/O), so S/O used to be a sacrifice but came to Nahida’s floor, and Nahida tended to them and eventually S/O just decided to become Nahida’s ‘right hand man’. So when they come up, Ray leads Zack a little bit, and then S/O sees them and takes them to Nahida because Nahida wants to help them.
Nahida refuses to let them leave until Zack is fully healed. And over the course of them being there, Zack and S/O fall in love. And at the end of it all, when Zack finally does get better, Nahida sees this and encourages S/O to leave with the person they love, even if it leaves Nahida alone.
(I don’t have most of the details in my mind, so whether or not what happens/or what happens in the end is up to you!)
HEY THERE! i’m so sorry for the delay! i got sick, had tons of hw, it was rough. But i’ve got it done! i Hope this works for what you were looking for!!
WARNINGS: slight language and minor spoilers, not proofread and probably some messed up grammar (let me know if i missed any!)
WORD COUNT: 1907
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BLOSSOMING LOVE
The only thing that reminded you that you were even in a building was the crooked, rusty door of the elevator that stood out by itself in the back of the forest. It stood by its lonesome, no other wall or door near it. Just by itself like some sort of decrepit portal to living hell. There was another one of those elevators on the other side of the forest too, past the willow.
You were only staying in this realm because of the floor master. Her name was Lily, she’s sweet and nurturing, probably the only one of her kind in this building. She rescued you when you had narrowly managed to escape Cassy’s floor. You were covered in cuts and bruises when you were found by her. She had watched as you attempted to scramble to your feet in a fit of paralyzing fear, only instead of killing or harming you, she squatted low to the ground and offered her hand for you to take. And you had, which may have resulted in death had it been anyone else, but she didn't hurt you.
Over the course of months–maybe even years–she treated you with kindness, she had healed all your injuries, provided you food and shelter and even offered you the ability to leave whenever you chose with safe passage to the elevator. Of course you didn’t leave, you chose to stay and help her out. You’d seen many people cross over onto this floor, leaving once being nurtured and treated, promises of returning or notifying someone once they had escaped were left unfulfilled, one can only assume the horrid things that had occurred once they stepped back into the elevator that would surely rise to their impending doom. That's why when you heard the announcement that a floor resident and a sacrifice had run off and were suspected to be attempting to escape, it wasn't a shock. You knew Lily would let the people stay as long as they needed to recover.
You and Lily were sitting on a log near the lake, talking quietly when the wind blew carrying the sound of a ding, the elevator reached their floor.
“Alright lets go greet our guests!” Lily smiled, flattening her frizzy blonde hair and brushing the dirt off her pale green dress.
“No thanks, i’m not interested in meeting new people, there's no reason too when they all desert you once they’ve healed. I’ll just be in the cabin ready to make whatever remedies you need.”
“Oh come now, you should try to be friendlier, y’know.”
You scoffed, you always felt that people abused her kindness, how they always left with a dismissive thank you, as if they didn’t realize how good they had it here. It left a bitter taste in your mouth. Lily simply sighed, shaking her head before smiling slightly. “Alright then, i’ll go greet our guests.”
You made your way to the cabin, preparing all sorts of pre-made remedies and lined up materials to make whatever it was that the two people needed. It wasn't long before Lily had walked in, asking for painkillers, burn remedies, healing lotion and a plate of berries harvested from earlier in the morning. She left quickly after that. It didn't take you long to make the needed items. You held the vials of medicine in a small straw basket and in your other hand a small bowl of berries and other fruits. Your eyes widened when they met the heterochromia eyes of gold and brown belonging to a tall, hoodie clad killer.
Behind him he dragged a heavy metal scythe stained with dirt and blood and who knows what else. He wore a brown hoodie stained with old blood from the bottom up the right side, dark black hair that was messy and matted poked out from under the hood. He was covered head to toe in bandages concealing whatever injuries he had. Next to him stood a small girl, around the age of thirteen. She had long blonde hair and blue eyes that looked oddly… empty, dead even. She wore a black and white striped shirt with a white jacket ontop of her shirt and a small black satchel that went across her small frame. Your brows furrowed, handing the basket to Lily who made the two sit.
“Why don’t you tell me your names? I’ll go first, I'm Lily.”
“Youre the floor master?” The tall man leaned in, eyes wide with skepticism.
“I am.”
“What the shit?”
Lily giggled at his behavior. She explained her intentions and began rummaging through the basket you had curated for her.
“I'm Zack, and this is Ray.” Zack explained, sitting down cross legged on a small wooden bench, Ray sitting down next to him, hands folded politely in her lap.
Lily managed to clean up Ray’s small wounds and cuts. It took a lot more persuading and a lot more arguments to get Zack to untie some of his bandages for Lily to check the wounds. It looked like he had been electrocuted. And he probably had, Cassy had that time of equipment on her floor. You would know. And so maybe you empathize with him, after all, you still had your scars from the same thing. Its a wonder how he’s even alive, you had barely been shocked a great amount, he looked like she cranked it up all the way. You grit your teeth and introduce yourself to him.
His eyes were always on you, studying you as if he hadn’t see someone like you before. It was strange.
“You’ll have to stay here at least a month to make sure you’re properly healed. you can stay forever if you’d like.” Lily said, reapplying his bandages.
He didn’t say anything, he just kept staring at you. “yeah yeah.,, whatever.”
you scoffed, “i haven’t heard a ‘thank you’ yet.”
“a thank you? like hell i’m saying thank you! it wasn’t my choice!” Zack frowned, arms crossed.
You raise a brow, mouth opening to retort before you hear a quiet mutter of “thank you..” you seemed satisfied and left.
Over the course of a few weeks you learned he was Illiterate. it was shocking to you at first however he said he was taken at a young age, not really learning how to properly read or write. so you often sat around a table to help him.
“okay what does this label say?” You pointed to a small vial on the desk.
“…..anti-bee..”
“anti-biotic.” you corrected. “here put it in this basket.”
you’d been doing this for a few days now, until it finally hit him. “Hey! you’re just making me do your chores!” he scowled, flailing his arms about.
you stifled your laughter, raising a brow at him. “ya caught me. now keep doing it.” Hemumbled curses at you but continued to help you organize your things.
Over the course of a few months you had taught him what it meant to be gently loved. you tried not to make it obvious that you may have been developing feelings for him. after all, it was hard to communicate that to him. He didn’t really understand, and was still tense when your hand accidentally brushed against his arm when you walked by. he hadnt told you really what happened, all you knew was underneath all of those bandages was scarred skin from intense burns.
You sat with him near the pond, collecting some berries as the two of you talked. He cleared his throat and you looked over your shoulder.
“You make me feel funny.”
“…huh?” You stopped picking the berries, standing up to face him. He’s emotionally constipated, not by his fault of course, though you still didn’t know what he meant.
“Like, when I'm near you, and.. my heart feels like it’s going to explode. and my skin feels warm, and I want to hold your hand or some shit.”
Your jaw tensed. He was saying he liked you, you liked him too. “What's that feeling called?” he asked you, tearing you away from your thoughts.
“it’s called.. Love.” you explained.
“then i love you.”
Your heartbeat stopped, breath hitching in your throat. It was pointless to love him, pointless for him to love you. After all, he’d been ready to leave in the next few days, leaving you here too,
“I love you too, Zack.” your voice hardly wavered. it came out so smoothly it sounded like a lie.
“y'know lily said i’ll be ready to leave tomorrow.”
“oh, did she now?” you felt yourself go ridged.
“yeah, she said i can leave tomorrow!”
“Are you going to?” you almost hesitated to ask. you knew the answer, you just didn’t want to hear it.
“Of course I am.”
“right.” You didn’t really speak to him much the rest of the day.
And then the next day, the most dreaded one arrived. Lily was preparing him a basket for his travels as he prepared himself and Ray to leave. you stood behind lily, a solemn look on your face as your eyes pierced through the eleven tie door, inevitably where he was going to go and likely never be seen again.
He and Ray exchanged words while Lily turned to you. “go with him.”
you swore you didn’t hear her right. Lily always thanked you for staying with her, telling you how you had cured her loneliness, and she was advising that you leave?
“you heard me right,” she explained. “go with them. you love him don’t you? go with him.”
your eyes widened, salty tears filling them, a bittersweet smile on your face. “Are you sure lily?”
“Of course I'm sure.”
Zack looked over at you, “you’re coming with us!?” he seemed to beam.
“…” you watched as he stepped into the elevator with Ray, then back at Lily. “yeah i am.”
you stepped into the raggedy elevator, it creaked with the weight of three people. your stomach twisted with nerves, you were scared to go back through this horrid building. but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad with Zack.
the door closed, your last glimpse of the safe haven leaving your gaze as Lily waved goodbye to you as you ascended to the floor above.
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Hope you enjoyed!
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w3bheadz · 11 months ago
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first lines of 2024
share the first thing you have written in the new year once you get there<3 (however long it takes & however brief!)
This is a future chapter for Fishhooks <3
My mouth was full of blood, truly suffocating, really. They didn’t like what I had to say, so they stopped at the source. They could have killed me, but it would have been less fun in their eyes. If only I had kept my mouth shut, right? 
What a shame, yet another performer’s voice silenced because they had something to say. All because Snow couldn’t handle anything mentioned about Lucy Gray. If I were honest, I would have thought he was in love. But it wasn’t love, was it? It was an obsession.
 It was like Lucy Gray had been a drug he couldn’t resist, and maybe they had a fallout? Was that why she went missing? Why had her memory been erased from all of the records of the games?
I may not have been able to speak, but I refused to be silenced. Peacekeepers surrounded me in the train car, not trusting me to be alone just because of some worthless title that had ruined my life. Victor. If I hadn’t been reaped, I’d still have my little siblings, I’d still have my mother and my father. The train doors finally opened, my home offering the welcoming sea breeze as I took a deep breath.
I was escorted to Victors Village where Rowena looked to have been coming back from the ocean. She had her spear in one hand, a net of the catch in the other. She was walking up to the door as we entered the arches to the little village with a total of two buildings. I didn’t think someone could drop a net as fast as Roe had when she saw us coming. The look on her face told me she knew. She knew something was wrong. With her spear in hand, Roe started walking towards us.
 “Mags, you alright?” She asked me, cradling my face with her free hand, eyes on the four peacekeepers walking a few feet behind me. When I couldn’t answer, I shook my head, tapping my chin. Roe’s eyes flickered between the peacekeepers and I, though her voice lowered “Who did this to you.. The capitol? That’s it..” 
She dropped her hand from my face, walking past me. “So this is how your home treats the victors, huh?! Taking away their ability to speak? Haven’t you taken enough you sick fucks?!” Roe threw her spear. It went through the visor of one of the peacekeepers. Her mouth twisted into a small grin, ripping her spear out of the peacekeeper's face.
 “Who’s next, huh?! You treat one of the people you sent to their death like a PRISONER.” I saw the spear thrown again, taking someone out by the chest before the other two started to run. They weren’t allowed to shoot victors. It could have caused a revolt. Roe was sort of a hot commodity in the capitol. She was called to the capitol a lot, but she had never told me why. I had my suspicions, but I kept them to myself.
As the peacekeepers  ran, Roe walked back to me, dropping her spear and leading me into the house. Her face was now void of emotion. I simply slipped my hand into hers, squeezing gently. Roe had so much rage built up in her mind, and sometimes rather than talking through it, she held it all back. I saw the silent few tears run down her face before she looked away from me. I wish I knew what happened in that head of hers, just so I could help. So I could understand.
It wasn’t until that night as Roe held me close to her chest, that I made a realization. Roe was just as scared as I was. She might not have shown it, but she was utterly terrified. I could hear it in the quick beats of her heart, and I could feel it in how tight she was holding me. I could feel her breathing grow shaky, a small tear running down her face and landing on the back of my neck. I just pressed a soft kiss to her collarbone, hoping it conveyed the message that I had wanted it to.
“I’m so sorry, mi amor.. You didn’t deserve this” Roe said quietly. Her voice was thick with tears that she refused to let fall. She knew that I knew they were there, but she hated crying. The only times I had seen her cry were when she was so angry that she couldn’t contain them. Like when she had gotten onto the train to go to the capitol, just after her brother was killed. And when she came out of the arena.
Tagging @kat-xox @autistpride @marzst4rz @rinney4ever and whoever wants to <3
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tropics-angel · 10 months ago
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I just got out of an abusive relationship that I was in since I was 16yrs old. I am 27 now for reference. It was more emotionally and mentally abusive than anything else. It reached an all time high 2022-2023. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I got sick everytime I went out with a friend bc my immune system was so messed up from never leaving my house. They policed my friendships whilst having a sexual relationship with most of their “friends” and I could never say anything about it without getting punished. Anytime I would bring up a concern they would ghost me for days…they didn’t visit me for months and would not allow me to come over and visit either.If I broke things off they always would want to try again just to treat me worse than before. Besides the cruel treatment,I felt we were growing apart because I was changing myself for the better and they were just getting worse. Maybe this is silly,but music is such a big thing for me and I feel you can tell a lot about a person from their taste in music. When their music taste changed to listening to artists who support rapists or music that is degrading to women in general,I knew the love we had shared was definitely over. I was not perfect in the relationship obviously,bc at 16yrs old you don’t know how to properly love someone since you are just learning about your own self,but at 27 basic things like honesty,kindness,and loyalty are just standard. They began to speak to me so disrespectfully and grew so much hatred for me for finally moving out of the place we shared together because I refused to keep tolerating the abuse. For months, I let them guilt and punish me for leaving until I smacked sense into myself. The demise of this relationship was never my fault,but they gaslit me into thinking I was the one who did it all. The complained that I was not affections as they would’ve like me to be and I do own up to not being as affectionate as I would have liked either,but I did not grow up with affection and it was very overwhelming. When I really wanted to be super mushy ,it was so nerve wracking for me.It’s so much easier for me now,but they claimed the change in me was “too late”. Well I think that’s bullshit. It is never too late to love and I’m so thankful and proud of how far I’ve come healing my familial traumas with 0 support from someone who was supposed to be my partner. This person has shared intimate photos of me with their friend when I was underage and I still stayed because I just so badly wanted things to work and to be loved. I devoted my whole life to this person,even rejecting good job offers to help work at their business that ended up failing.This paragraph cannot even cover half of the cruel things that were done and the things I gave despite the cruelty. Again,I own up to my part in the relationship,but there is NOTHING I could’ve done that would merit the treatment I got. I pray everyday to God that my heart stays soft,open,and forgiving despite all that has happened. I have apologized to my ex for the part I played in the past,however,they have not apologized and I really am not expecting one because they are so totally lost and void of love or compassion. I pray that karma and the consequences of their actions are enough to spark authentic change in their life and heart. Maybe my prayers are working,because I am healing up so nicely. This is a person that I never thought I could live without but I am. I know I’m not at 100% but I am still open to forgiving them and still love them after everything. Even when it’s hard,please stay sweet and kind because you will never lose. It’s so much easier to let go of someone when you know there is no ill will on your side. I don’t harbor bitterness,though I am hurt. It’s okay to be hurt about it because healing is certainly not linear. Everyday I pray to get a little stronger,a little sweeter,and a little wiser. I pray for my lover who made themselves an enemy to me and know that God will deal with them accordingly. STAY FULL OF LOVE AND DON’T LET ANYONE SIPHON IT ALL OUT OF YOU
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