#even a therapist can’t help me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

poltoreveur · 11 months ago

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I mean, I can fix him.. but do I want to tho?

#he so crazy #maybe he could be crazy in love with me #😍😍😍#my delulu is showing #even a therapist can’t help me #fun fact but my therapist actually quit on me lol #coriolanus snow x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #void stiles x reader #tom riddle x you #mattheo riddle x reader #theodore nott x reader #rafe cameron x reader #bucky barnes x reader #ethan landry x reader #cardan greenbriar #aaron warner #jonathan crane #patrick bateman

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angelmush · 11 months ago

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it looked sooo pretty outside today :)

#the community garden across the street was being cared for (even in winter) by my neighbors #it’s the first day in a long time i came home from work and the sun was up still !!#it was so rosy #got greeted by my dog and my gf and the cat :#life is good even when it’s hard :)#i packed a lunch for me and for lauren and braided her soft hair before bed and sometimes i just want to cry with love #my therapist is helping me find a surgeon for top surgery and i got referred to a pain management specialist by my doc today too #and work was easy and slow today #i can’t sleep rn bc my pain is sooo bad so i’m tucked in the living room knitting w the snoring dog beside me on our tiny green couch #im so sad and so happy lol #personal

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kitten4sannie · 2 months ago

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look at the way i ride ~

#lyss.vent #been feeling very much on the edge lately #of what? i’m not really sure #a classic Meltdown ™ maybe #i have a therapist i talk to weekly now and that’s been a huge help fs #but it’s still like #my boat has a hole #too many to count actually #i’m constantly dumping out the water but it doesn’t matter yk?#i’m still sinking #there are so many things i should be thankful for #friends and family that care about me #i have hobbies that i enjoy #a good consistent job that pays well #i’m working 40 hrs a week and making enough to save monthly #this is what it means to be successful right ?#i should be happy…i have everything i need…#yet i feel rundown and empty #i’ve also realized that there are horrible ugly things that still live deep inside my bones #why do i blame myself for them when i was just there? when i was the victim?#i’m the only one who can save myself from it all so why can’t i?#what’s even worse is that i have to watch from the sidelines while life single-handedly fucks up my loved ones too #i’m so powerless in all aspects of my life #everything’s out of my control #and it hurts so much :(((#tbh old me would’ve given up by now but that dumb bitch isn’t in the driver’s seat anymore #she’s just along for the ride now but she won’t give me the aux #tho new me is stubborn and has something to prove so i’ll keep driving :3 vroom vroommm #i’ll play my own music soon #i love queue ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

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daycourtofficial · 8 months ago

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Anyone else have the writer blues/imposter syndrome? Anyone else feel like writing one sentence is an impossible feat?

#like everyone is so nice to me #but idk I open my drafts and I’m like #’wow that sucks what idiot wrote that’#and idk I’m just ????#I’m also not reading a ton bc idk I don’t have the energy #the vibes are off and it’s not even the first day of April #I want to write!!!#I just can’t :/#or can’t help but overthink it #or be too self crticial #idk there are so many wonderful #talented writers on her and I just feel like they’re sooo out of my league #anyway I’ll probably get self conscious about this and delete it later shout out to the one person who read all of this #I’m laying in bed being vulnerable my therapist would be so proud 🫶

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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 1 year ago

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I was rewatching The Stone Forest and I really like to think that Hilda had to pass by the Bell Keeper’s outpost on her way out of the city limits. I like to think that idiot looked at what was happening, shrugged, and said ‘eh, she’s the scariest thing out there’

#“‘the scariest thing out there’?”the girl sends him a look that isn't quite a glare for once; it still conveys her opinion just as clearly #Edmund shrugs. Hilda is still within sight of his binoculars. he watches her run and can’t be sure whether she’s running *towards* or *from #*.He doesn’t think she knows either.#'I mean. it’s not like trolls can harm her at this time of the day.#Don’t tell me you believe in fairies kid.'#And there it is at last: the glare. Meiri looks up from her art project - her new therapist had reccomended it as a way to express herself #and since he'd been helping so much so far she'd decided to grudgingly give it a shot -#“*No*” she states pointedly; to anyone who knew her it was an affirmation. And Edmund knew her better than she cared for #'What I believe in is wolves and recluse spiders and ticks and nettle. And I believe that someone with the spine #to sabotage the Patrol wouldn't have the self control to not lick a pretty mushroom'#“Hey!” Edmund protested putting down his binoculars. “I sabotaged the Patrol! For *you* I might add!”#Meiri's smile turned mean; it was a regular expression for her yet it never conveyed any malice. Just the thrill of a game that never tired #her. “And would you?” she lifted one thick eyebrow; signaling to her dad that it was his move now #The dad in question was unfortunately thinking back to a time in his young teenage years when he figured he could eat anything animals bit #and gave himself a poisoning that had him taken to the ER. But she didn't need to know that. *ever* in fact.#“Obviously I would. Like I'd let a mushroom ruin my perfect sandwich diet”#Meiri groaned loudly. Some games were worth playing. But some wars she'd already accepted she'd never win #“Anyway” he turned back to staring at the outside of the wall as if it was of any interest to him (it wasn't)#“kid'll be fine is my point. And even if she isn't ya know what's the best think about this situation?”#They looked at each other with matching smirks. “none of our flipping business” he said at the same time as she echoed #“None of our fucking business”#He gasped immediatelly. “*Meiri!*”#The chastening was useless. She just shrugged innocently.#He'd really have to limit her library visits #the bell keeper hilda #meirdom #hilda the series #hilda netflix

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ghostzzy · 5 months ago

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feeling the angst today. my dad was like “try ketamine therapy” again yesterday and i’m like. in order to do that i’d have to get off All my medications. and in order to do that safely, it could take months. during which i would be basically nonfunctional. so do you want me to do that or do you want me to get a new job. cuz it’s one or the other.

#i’m so sick of feeling so sick. i get it. everyone is fed up with me. everyone is over it. so am i.#but you can’t just throw suggestions Like That at me #and then not offer me the support necessary to make it happen.#like. it’s the same fucking thing that happens with Exercise and Physical Health.#where everyone says ‘go to physical therapy! or get a well-educated personal trainer!’#and then i’m like okay. i can’t afford that and even if i could i don’t have the time & energy while working 8 hours a day.#so what do you Actually want me to do.#i’m so fucking frustrated. i miss my therapist.#my stepmom keeps being like ‘do you want to go back to therapy’ and i’m like ‘it wouldn’t fix me but it would help’#and then no one offers to help me pay for it.#even though they spend. yk. $4000 a month to keep their boat in the marina #if i need $300 a month to go to therapy. well. that’s asking a lot.#izzy.txt

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sp00kysk3lly · 8 months ago

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Real Friends Don’t Exist. Not In My Reality, anyway.

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milo-is-rambling · 7 months ago

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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?

#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day #but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both #gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a #bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of #being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even #with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like #go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m #afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make #this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s #so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room #and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until #my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and #that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad #anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down

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dullweapons · 7 months ago

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uhhh ray in a wheelchair cause i’m thinking about getting one for myself cause my cane is not enough

#⸻ ray : visage ✦ rusted cracked & broken : but still standing ˎˊ˗#⸻ ooc : artwork ✦ madness takes the paintbrush & sings ˎˊ˗#uh little vent in tags tw #( i haven’t left my house since my birthday - and before that was only for doctor appointments in months )#( but i have used the scooter at walmart when i did go out and they made me so happy to be independent)#( as well as the wheelchair in the ER i could move without fear of falling )#( i really want to go outside so imma see about getting one ?? )#( probably just a cheap hospital one at a thrift store near me )#( idk if i wanna bother with in insurance ? )#( i am trying to get a walker through them and it’s taking forever to the point i need MORE )#( i am doing physical therapy which helps but also my legs are so weak i can’t even go down my stairs on my own :/ )#( imma ask my PT therapist and my doctor but who knows ? )#( anyway vent over enjoy ray being a dumbass )

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tchaikovskaya · 8 months ago

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😜

ed tw in notes

#i committed to working out again (as of like a week ago) which I do sincerely need to do #but even post recovery I like. see muscles move under my skin and I remember what they looked like when they were so developed #and I had zero body fat then lmao. like Back In The Day i would be so thin I could look at this #*those muscles when I was even getting up from a chair.#I could see the contour of their boundaries (?) and even my ligaments/tendons sometimes. thru my skin. bc I was so thin #and when I look at my legs and arms move forward sometimes that’s all I can #think about. ‘u used to be able to see that move under ur skin but u can’t now bc there’s too much fat in the way’#I should be talking about this with a therapist I guess but I hate all of them and I don’t have a billion dollars and a whole decade to spen #*spend finding The Right One who is a good fit and is trained in this stuff specifically and can actually help me #idk what I’m even saying here anymore whatever I’m just…. ugh fuck.

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saltiecattoz · 25 days ago

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why is social security like that. like why is the process getting denied so i have to go to fucking court. i literally can’t work bro i need money

#saltcat text #being disabled fucking sucks #i can’t even comprehend how to do this :/#my therapist is appearetly gonna help me with this so that’s good

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floral-hex · 4 months ago

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fuck, I hate telehealth, but ya know, I think I’d actually like it if it was in minecraft instead of a video call. Let’s do therapy in roblox or something.

#having a relationship with your therapist is unethical… but what about running a dungeon together in world of warcraft??#today we’re going to talk about my abandonment issues while we build a mountain base in minecraft together #shit… I was just joking but this is actually sounding kinda rad #but wowwee do I hate telehealth #I hate professional video calls #I always feel like I’m saying the wrong things or I’m not talking enough #my last psych appointment was telehealth and it suuuuuuucked #oh man I don’t even know if I ever posted about this #it just felt so awkward and I was always worried someone could hear me on the call through the apartment walls #and he was like basically ‘just try to think positive’#fuck you fuck you fuck you and also think about my butthole and fuck you #thanks for the meds but never say that shit to me again #like… my therapist is a cool guy. I ‘love him. or as much as you can love your doctor in a distant platonic way #he’s always so cool about ‘yeah your chemicals are all messed up’ and he’s doesn’t shut me down at least not without actually understanding #but my psych who works in the same office does telehealth and seems very distant and not great at talking about deeper issues #which is fine. really. I just needed a doc who’d give me a fair shake and help me with the medication side #but I have to do telehealth for him and it feels so awkward and shallow #can’t we just do a 5 minute phone call? ‘hello. can we up the dose of my meds? yes? okay thank you.’#I see you typing on your computer a lot. I’m not saying anything interesting. if you’re on neopets just say so #anyway I only thought about this bc I guess I COULD do telehealth therapy today or something #but like I said. telehealth feels awkward and I wouldn’t be able to open up over it #it’s cool tho for like… I dunno. people who can’t go in person or need quick visits or whatever #I’m not saying it’s not useful or a viable option. I personally just hate phone calls and video calls.#and I love video games bro 😎#and I love you #goodbye forever #text

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yellobb · 29 days ago

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If things could stop going in exactly the wrong wrong direction that would be excellent

#m rambles #if I could trade all my years of good luck when I was younger to just be fucking normal I would #the latest in my series of unfortunate events:#decided to hire traffic lawyer for my ticket #traffic lawyer gets my info but never sends any follow up #today I got a fucking ‘failed to appear in court’#because apparently my lawyer didn’t do jack shit #and it’s just one more FUCKING thing #I don’t even know what the fuck to do now #this will probably fuck up my chances of getting my ticket dismissed #and I’m too paranoid to go for a lawyer again because if I fail to show up again they can put out a warrant for my arrest #im so nauseous #I really can’t deal with being alive anymore and I mean that in the most serious fucking way I can #if I had access to a gun or a garage I could lock myself in I would fucking do it #but I’m too terrified of being in pain to try any other way so I guess I live to see another sunrise tomorrow #just to go into work at a job I probably won’t have in a month’s time because of layoffs #to explain to my coworkers and my manager why I’m so fucking behind #and without a single bit of professional help because my therapist dropped me weeks ago and I’ve been stuck in a hole ever since #I’ve left my house less that 5 times in the entire month of October and yet I live in a fucking pigs sty #I sleep on the couch because I’m too tired to climb the stairs and all I can smell is the mold from my dishes #which literally had fucking maggots in it last time I looked at them #I think there’s black mold in my basement that I can’t clean and my fridge is going to mold soon because my water pitcher leaked #if I’d known when I was a kid that all those times where things just seemed to magically work out would lead to my life falling apart #I would have shut my goddamn mouth about getting a B in physics and dealt with it to prevent my life from becoming the shit show it is today

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flippedorbit · 1 month ago

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i’m gonna be so for real, if things don’t start changing for me in good ways i will be disappearing off the face of the earth

#Rasp Rambles #vent #my mental health is already in a shitty state and i am already considering multiple different ways to end my own fucking life #suicide mention #like i’m genuinely hanging on by the thinnest fucking thread only because i have friends that care about me. i don’t want any of them to be #sad about me dying. i’d say the same for my family but i don’t they ever have really given a shit about me so what does it matter.#i’ve been forced to be the perfect; quite child my entire fucking life and that was never good enough. i had to be kind and respectful #even though none of the adults in my family ever really were that to me. and the ones who were didn’t stay that way for long. it truly #sucks so fucking badly that i can’t get away from any of them. i don’t have a job because mental health issues; some physical health issues #and my lack of drivers license and car. i can’t financially support myself. i never get to fucking leave the house and go anywhere but the #store or my grandparent’s house with my mom and sister. i have ONE irl friend who i’m not even sure considers me a friend because #we haven’t gotten to hang out much since i graduated in 2023. i have practically no fucking support system in the physical world.#i don’t get to do fun things i enjoy that aren’t internet related besides drawing. but artblock and general depression are doing their #damn best to prevent me from even enjoying the creative process at all. one may think its difficult to feel lonely when you’re living in a #house with at least one other person but its fully fucking possible apparently. for me at least. i really wish my mom would actually get me #a therapist or psychiatrist i can see in person but we all know that’ll never fucking happen because again; she doesn’t fucking care enough #to make any actually helpful attempts to get me medicated for whatever the fucks going on in this stupid head of mine.#sorry for being incredibly fucking depressed and mad at 3am. it will happen again unfortunately for all of us.

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okcoolthanks · 2 months ago

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Looove feeling like a fucking child whenever I talk to kids my age ebecause I always feel like I’m either talking about my toys or like they’re better than me because I spent a majority of my childhood trying to make myself just as smart as everyone else because I genuinely thought I was stupid and didn’t deserve to live

#I wasn’t stupid I was like 10 #god it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t fucking talk to people #I make my voice sound to nice I make myself talk quiet I don’t know how to respond #I don’t want everyone to hear me so I practactly whisper I don’t even say hi I just nod or wave #I love being autistic this is just the one thing I hate abt it is how fucking different you are from everyone else #I think differently I know that I don’t know how to navigate smth like this I always make myself the dumber or the less knowing one #I make myself think I’m a manipulator because I try so constantly to make people like me by making myself look like a ‘nice person’ like how #an animal plays dead or shows its stomach to say ‘oh don’t kill me I’m not a threat haha you want me around’#my therapist said I should try looking into psychology collage or smth she said I’d be good at it #I just think about how I think too much #my grades are shit I don’t wanna be in college for 8 years because my teacher said I’d be good at a job #then again I think psychologists make a lot of money and that could help with the art stuff #like Helen Highwater being a lawyer and doing all this crazy art shit on the side #fuck man what the fuck am I doing goodnight

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herawell · 5 months ago

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#negativity cw #mother mention cw #I’ve been in a funk since visiting my parents this weekend #And my mom ranted about my dad and her potential plans for divorce #It’s not the only reason I’m upset #I’ve got feelings about my job performance and my social life which aren’t helping #But being reminded of their marital woes feels like it’s brought everything else up #Half of me wants to ask my mom to not bring it up again #Which I know is a reasonable boundary to ask #But I’m afraid of the repercussions #She’ll respect it #But she’ll respect me less #Which should be okay since I’m an adult #But my mom is my closest confidante (which goes back to the friends thing)#I don’t have too many close friends irl #And even if that weren’t the case #I don’t want to poison the well #ugh #I really really really wish she hadn’t told me #She talked about how she’s glad in this country you can ‘take a man to the cleaners’#And she’s keeping her cards close to her chest so he doesn’t ‘hide the money’#And I know his behavior and inaction are largely responsible for the breakdown of the marriage #But now I feel like I’m betraying him by keeping quiet about it #And I can’t tell my dad because I don’t know if he would keep it to himself if push comes to shove #And it would nuke my relationship with my mom from external orbit #I have to spend Wed evening and Thurs with my parents #And I’m thinking of telling her tonight I don’t want to hear any more about it #We’ll have to see how it goes #But I can’t handle this tension #if she wants to vent about it she can talk to her friends or a therapist or a lawyer or whatever

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