#even a therapist can’t help me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

poltoreveur · 1 year ago

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I mean, I can fix him.. but do I want to tho?

#he so crazy #maybe he could be crazy in love with me #😍😍😍#my delulu is showing #even a therapist can’t help me #fun fact but my therapist actually quit on me lol #coriolanus snow x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #void stiles x reader #tom riddle x you #mattheo riddle x reader #theodore nott x reader #rafe cameron x reader #bucky barnes x reader #ethan landry x reader #cardan greenbriar #aaron warner #jonathan crane #patrick bateman

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angelmush · 1 year ago

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it looked sooo pretty outside today :)

#the community garden across the street was being cared for (even in winter) by my neighbors #it’s the first day in a long time i came home from work and the sun was up still !!#it was so rosy #got greeted by my dog and my gf and the cat :#life is good even when it’s hard :)#i packed a lunch for me and for lauren and braided her soft hair before bed and sometimes i just want to cry with love #my therapist is helping me find a surgeon for top surgery and i got referred to a pain management specialist by my doc today too #and work was easy and slow today #i can’t sleep rn bc my pain is sooo bad so i’m tucked in the living room knitting w the snoring dog beside me on our tiny green couch #im so sad and so happy lol #personal

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kitten4sannie · 5 months ago

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look at the way i ride ~

#lyss.vent #been feeling very much on the edge lately #of what? i’m not really sure #a classic Meltdown ™ maybe #i have a therapist i talk to weekly now and that’s been a huge help fs #but it’s still like #my boat has a hole #too many to count actually #i’m constantly dumping out the water but it doesn’t matter yk?#i’m still sinking #there are so many things i should be thankful for #friends and family that care about me #i have hobbies that i enjoy #a good consistent job that pays well #i’m working 40 hrs a week and making enough to save monthly #this is what it means to be successful right ?#i should be happy…i have everything i need…#yet i feel rundown and empty #i’ve also realized that there are horrible ugly things that still live deep inside my bones #why do i blame myself for them when i was just there? when i was the victim?#i’m the only one who can save myself from it all so why can’t i?#what’s even worse is that i have to watch from the sidelines while life single-handedly fucks up my loved ones too #i’m so powerless in all aspects of my life #everything’s out of my control #and it hurts so much :(((#tbh old me would’ve given up by now but that dumb bitch isn’t in the driver’s seat anymore #she’s just along for the ride now but she won’t give me the aux #tho new me is stubborn and has something to prove so i’ll keep driving :3 vroom vroommm #i’ll play my own music soon #i love queue ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

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daycourtofficial · 11 months ago

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Anyone else have the writer blues/imposter syndrome? Anyone else feel like writing one sentence is an impossible feat?

#like everyone is so nice to me #but idk I open my drafts and I’m like #’wow that sucks what idiot wrote that’#and idk I’m just ????#I’m also not reading a ton bc idk I don’t have the energy #the vibes are off and it’s not even the first day of April #I want to write!!!#I just can’t :/#or can’t help but overthink it #or be too self crticial #idk there are so many wonderful #talented writers on her and I just feel like they’re sooo out of my league #anyway I’ll probably get self conscious about this and delete it later shout out to the one person who read all of this #I’m laying in bed being vulnerable my therapist would be so proud 🫶

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sp00kysk3lly · 10 months ago

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Real Friends Don’t Exist. Not In My Reality, anyway.

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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 1 year ago

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I was rewatching The Stone Forest and I really like to think that Hilda had to pass by the Bell Keeper’s outpost on her way out of the city limits. I like to think that idiot looked at what was happening, shrugged, and said ‘eh, she’s the scariest thing out there’

#“‘the scariest thing out there’?”the girl sends him a look that isn't quite a glare for once; it still conveys her opinion just as clearly #Edmund shrugs. Hilda is still within sight of his binoculars. he watches her run and can’t be sure whether she’s running *towards* or *from #*.He doesn’t think she knows either.#'I mean. it’s not like trolls can harm her at this time of the day.#Don’t tell me you believe in fairies kid.'#And there it is at last: the glare. Meiri looks up from her art project - her new therapist had reccomended it as a way to express herself #and since he'd been helping so much so far she'd decided to grudgingly give it a shot -#“*No*” she states pointedly; to anyone who knew her it was an affirmation. And Edmund knew her better than she cared for #'What I believe in is wolves and recluse spiders and ticks and nettle. And I believe that someone with the spine #to sabotage the Patrol wouldn't have the self control to not lick a pretty mushroom'#“Hey!” Edmund protested putting down his binoculars. “I sabotaged the Patrol! For *you* I might add!”#Meiri's smile turned mean; it was a regular expression for her yet it never conveyed any malice. Just the thrill of a game that never tired #her. “And would you?” she lifted one thick eyebrow; signaling to her dad that it was his move now #The dad in question was unfortunately thinking back to a time in his young teenage years when he figured he could eat anything animals bit #and gave himself a poisoning that had him taken to the ER. But she didn't need to know that. *ever* in fact.#“Obviously I would. Like I'd let a mushroom ruin my perfect sandwich diet”#Meiri groaned loudly. Some games were worth playing. But some wars she'd already accepted she'd never win #“Anyway” he turned back to staring at the outside of the wall as if it was of any interest to him (it wasn't)#“kid'll be fine is my point. And even if she isn't ya know what's the best think about this situation?”#They looked at each other with matching smirks. “none of our flipping business” he said at the same time as she echoed #“None of our fucking business”#He gasped immediatelly. “*Meiri!*”#The chastening was useless. She just shrugged innocently.#He'd really have to limit her library visits #the bell keeper hilda #meirdom #hilda the series #hilda netflix

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ghostzzy · 7 months ago

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feeling the angst today. my dad was like “try ketamine therapy” again yesterday and i’m like. in order to do that i’d have to get off All my medications. and in order to do that safely, it could take months. during which i would be basically nonfunctional. so do you want me to do that or do you want me to get a new job. cuz it’s one or the other.

#i’m so sick of feeling so sick. i get it. everyone is fed up with me. everyone is over it. so am i.#but you can’t just throw suggestions Like That at me #and then not offer me the support necessary to make it happen.#like. it’s the same fucking thing that happens with Exercise and Physical Health.#where everyone says ‘go to physical therapy! or get a well-educated personal trainer!’#and then i’m like okay. i can’t afford that and even if i could i don’t have the time & energy while working 8 hours a day.#so what do you Actually want me to do.#i’m so fucking frustrated. i miss my therapist.#my stepmom keeps being like ‘do you want to go back to therapy’ and i’m like ‘it wouldn’t fix me but it would help’#and then no one offers to help me pay for it.#even though they spend. yk. $4000 a month to keep their boat in the marina #if i need $300 a month to go to therapy. well. that’s asking a lot.#izzy.txt

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milo-is-rambling · 10 months ago

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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?

#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day #but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both #gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a #bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of #being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even #with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like #go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m #afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make #this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s #so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room #and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until #my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and #that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad #anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down

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heartbreakfeelsogood · 16 days ago

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whatever i’m quitting therapy

#op #could barely afford the copay and they wanna charge me fully without warning for an appointment and get snippy when i ask why???#girl i didn’t know the insurance deductible changed. i’m a dependent. warn a guy next time #literally broke bc of this and they’re just like well too bad contact your insurance. okay jessica have the day u deserve #genuinely a warning would’ve been nice. and now i can’t afford this week even if it is just a copay bc they took all my money #i literally canceled last week BECAUSE I COULDNT AFFORD IT and got charged four times that amount #like oh my goddddd #and i’m not gonna sit here and act like i’m a perfectly fine person because trust me i know you all know i’m not #but i just don’t think it’s helping me right now anyway and i was already thinking about stopping so this just confirmed i should #like i already was like feeling like i’m wasting money and this just sent me over the edge #maybe it’s the therapist maybe it’s me idk but going to therapy just feels useless right now #i feel like she just tells me i’m doing everything right and hasn’t given me literally any advice on how to handle things because #‘my feelings are valid’ or whatever #like sure my feelings are valid i know this. so are we done here #idk whatever i’ll be fine at least i’m medicated

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rosicheeks · 1 month ago

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#I’m so fucking burnt out #I have -300 spoons right now #and I have no fucking clue how to get out of the negatives #going from thanksgiving to a family trip (driving 24 hours both ways and spending a week…. took everything out of me) to Christmas #to new years to family birthdays #and I live with my parents so I’ve been helping them with stuff nonstop for the past month #I’m exhausted and so so so fucking hopeless #feel like the only way for me to be happy or work on my happiness again is if I move #but that’s so fucking unlikely #and I don’t even want to think about how much housing is going to change after the presidents change #I’m so scared #I can’t live here anymore #but I have no where else to go #and I don’t want anyone to get me wrong - I know I’m so lucky to have a roof over my head #but being this unhappy every single day for the past 2 years is really getting to me #I cant live like this anymore I just can’t #it’s not living it’s not even fucking surviving I’m just here #I’ve been working so damn hard went to 2 different mental health programs been seeing a therapist every week #seeing a psychiatrist a lot to figure out my meds #but I’m still like this and I just don’t know anymore #I’m so tired #sorry ignore me #shut up rosie

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dullweapons · 10 months ago

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uhhh ray in a wheelchair cause i’m thinking about getting one for myself cause my cane is not enough

#⸻ ray : visage ✦ rusted cracked & broken : but still standing ˎˊ˗#⸻ ooc : artwork ✦ madness takes the paintbrush & sings ˎˊ˗#uh little vent in tags tw #( i haven’t left my house since my birthday - and before that was only for doctor appointments in months )#( but i have used the scooter at walmart when i did go out and they made me so happy to be independent)#( as well as the wheelchair in the ER i could move without fear of falling )#( i really want to go outside so imma see about getting one ?? )#( probably just a cheap hospital one at a thrift store near me )#( idk if i wanna bother with in insurance ? )#( i am trying to get a walker through them and it’s taking forever to the point i need MORE )#( i am doing physical therapy which helps but also my legs are so weak i can’t even go down my stairs on my own :/ )#( imma ask my PT therapist and my doctor but who knows ? )#( anyway vent over enjoy ray being a dumbass )

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tchaikovskaya · 10 months ago

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😜

ed tw in notes

#i committed to working out again (as of like a week ago) which I do sincerely need to do #but even post recovery I like. see muscles move under my skin and I remember what they looked like when they were so developed #and I had zero body fat then lmao. like Back In The Day i would be so thin I could look at this #*those muscles when I was even getting up from a chair.#I could see the contour of their boundaries (?) and even my ligaments/tendons sometimes. thru my skin. bc I was so thin #and when I look at my legs and arms move forward sometimes that’s all I can #think about. ‘u used to be able to see that move under ur skin but u can’t now bc there’s too much fat in the way’#I should be talking about this with a therapist I guess but I hate all of them and I don’t have a billion dollars and a whole decade to spen #*spend finding The Right One who is a good fit and is trained in this stuff specifically and can actually help me #idk what I’m even saying here anymore whatever I’m just…. ugh fuck.

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pilonciillo · 2 months ago

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#lmao my sibling was asking me questions yesterday and i was like yeah whatever blah and while on the treadmill i started thinking about what #they asked and my responses anyways long story short i think i’m depressed 💀#and it goes back to that god damn accident #which there was an update but it’s just that me ans 7 other ppl have to split the capped payout from the insurance 🧍‍♀️ so that’s cool they #only smashed the back of my car gave me a concussion memory problem insomnia anxiety depression slight ocd (w driving) back/shoulder pain #worse almost weekly if not daily headaches angry issues lost a lot of money from missing work and having to be part time dr bills hospital #bills an ultrasound bill that i have to pay out of pocket but couldn’t at the time but now that im finally full time again and have #finally managed my bills enough that i can this week finally pay it only x months later so financial instability money anxiety existential #crisis loss of self pushed back the weight loss progress lost a lot of money because of that over half a year of progress & money got the #weirdest sugar addiction after the accident haven’t gained weight but also haven’t lost any #lost any sense of motivation for work and hobbies lost work opportunities had to pause my going back to school but now i don’t even think i #wanna go back because what i wanted to study i can’t even be motivated about it #i thought i had an idea of who i was but now im not that i can’t be that i have to readjust my whole life to be what i can w what is here #except i’m 28 and wdym some person took everything from me and it’s been almost half a year since the accident and i still haven’t really #made any progress except for random memories that don’t really help me and honestly they just pmo because it’s not helpful #like yeah sure my back and shoulders don’t hurt as bad but now it have recurring pain while i didn’t have before so is it progress? like #in that time the most progress is that yesterday i realized that im probably depressed but i can’t afford a therapist rn so i just have to #keep repeating this nonsense until i can afford or i get the settlement money but most of that will go to said bills and the lawyer fees #again it’s capped and divided so yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 👍#anyways my silly little things will have to get me through this till i can actually get through this #but it’s fine it’s not like i had already gone to the therapist and had worked on these issues before and it’s not like i spent money on #that either to only be put back in that situation only worse lol def not in a cycle 🧍‍♀️

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loverboybrightsideghost · 2 months ago

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fuck i really am a perfectionist FUCK

#i’ll just be sitting there thinking some shit like i wish i could find the Ideal Way to do Everything surely it can’t be that hard surely if #i just keep trying different things different self-imposed systems surely i’ll find one that will get me to do everything- ah lads #AH LADS NOT AGAIN!!!!#good that i’ve started noticing though #before i’d just have the thought #now i can actually realize when i have a thought that boils down to ‘if i try hard enough i can become perfect’#coughs. coughs very discreetly and awkwardly.#i will still keep trying to be the best person best musician i can but. how do i separate that from perfectionism? how do I JUST GO HOW DO #JUST LIVE?#computer search how to become a perfect being. i mean computer search how to become able to function on command #rather than forcing myself to do things #even if it’s. IM GONNA FUCKING SCREAM this is just like when i yelled at my friend in the practice rooms #i love her and we have good conversations but i think there we reached a point where we really couldn’t help each other anymore #not like in GENERAL just in that. i have my problems and I FUCKING KNOW what they are but. i don’t know! it’s just not art fucking easy!#why is it not fucking easy it should be fucking easy! why am i scared of everything!#is everyone scared of everything??????#I NEED A THERAPIST MOMENT NUMBER FIVE THOUSAND #i might not even need a therapist though maybe i’m just fucking growing up #BUT I’D LIKE TO NOT HAVE AN UNDERCURRENT OF FEAR ON ALMOST EVERY TIME #not every time i’ve gotten better but it creeps back like the water and im like oh you and then i #can’t pull the stopper why can’t i pull the FUCKIN stopper it’s right there it’d be so easy and #nothing repels me except something mysterious some the water the water repels me #just by being there the water will not harm me it will not affect me in any way and i know this and i fear the water #should i write a fuckin poem. lmfao.

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servicetopjacob · 2 months ago

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you know if you don’t have the same problems as everyone else suddenly people don’t care about your own specific-to-you problems? it’s like if people can’t relate somehow or someway to your struggle, they lose all empathy and advice speak and instead just either ignore you or tell you you’re annoying for feeling this way (and desperately wanting to change it without the tools/strength/support/circumstance to do so :/

#i was told i was annoying about talking about charles a lot which is valid but it’s an interest we shared #and i think that’s shaped me now (i.e. being even more annoying)#i want people to listen who are not my therapist #and seems like no one wants to if it’s not the typical issues or whatever #i took for granted the people who actually cared. who would have thought!#personal #mental health #and then it also sucks when the one person you feel comfortable talking to is negatively affected by being online so they can’t help either #it sucks man i just want friends

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saltiecattoz · 3 months ago

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why is social security like that. like why is the process getting denied so i have to go to fucking court. i literally can’t work bro i need money

#saltcat text #being disabled fucking sucks #i can’t even comprehend how to do this :/#my therapist is appearetly gonna help me with this so that’s good

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