#keep repeating this nonsense until i can afford or i get the settlement money but most of that will go to said bills and the lawyer fees
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#lmao my sibling was asking me questions yesterday and i was like yeah whatever blah and while on the treadmill i started thinking about what#they asked and my responses anyways long story short i think i’m depressed 💀#and it goes back to that god damn accident#which there was an update but it’s just that me ans 7 other ppl have to split the capped payout from the insurance 🧍♀️ so that’s cool they#only smashed the back of my car gave me a concussion memory problem insomnia anxiety depression slight ocd (w driving) back/shoulder pain#worse almost weekly if not daily headaches angry issues lost a lot of money from missing work and having to be part time dr bills hospital#bills an ultrasound bill that i have to pay out of pocket but couldn’t at the time but now that im finally full time again and have#finally managed my bills enough that i can this week finally pay it only x months later so financial instability money anxiety existential#crisis loss of self pushed back the weight loss progress lost a lot of money because of that over half a year of progress & money got the#weirdest sugar addiction after the accident haven’t gained weight but also haven’t lost any#lost any sense of motivation for work and hobbies lost work opportunities had to pause my going back to school but now i don’t even think i#wanna go back because what i wanted to study i can’t even be motivated about it#i thought i had an idea of who i was but now im not that i can’t be that i have to readjust my whole life to be what i can w what is here#except i’m 28 and wdym some person took everything from me and it’s been almost half a year since the accident and i still haven’t really#made any progress except for random memories that don’t really help me and honestly they just pmo because it’s not helpful#like yeah sure my back and shoulders don’t hurt as bad but now it have recurring pain while i didn’t have before so is it progress? like#in that time the most progress is that yesterday i realized that im probably depressed but i can’t afford a therapist rn so i just have to#keep repeating this nonsense until i can afford or i get the settlement money but most of that will go to said bills and the lawyer fees#again it’s capped and divided so yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 👍#anyways my silly little things will have to get me through this till i can actually get through this#but it’s fine it’s not like i had already gone to the therapist and had worked on these issues before and it’s not like i spent money on#that either to only be put back in that situation only worse lol def not in a cycle 🧍♀️
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