#enjoying act 3 my little guy is involved in many situations and none of them are positive

[computerram]

DC 30 persuasion check [disadvantage] [critical failure]

[osakiharu]

WHEN THEY HAVE  CRUSH ON YOU !! part 3

[request]

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 

content : gender neutral reader, fluff, nothing else tbh… lmk if i miss anything hehe

characters : izana, wakasa, kakucho 

notes : i told myself i would keep this at 2 parts. but i love wakasa and izana so i had to do this one <3 but this is the last one, i didn’t expect so many people to enjoy these hcs so much so thankyou !!

˗ˏˋ IZANA

- definitely one of the bolder ones when it comes to his crush :0

- he doesn’t shy away from calling you little nicknames at every chance he gets

- “you okay, darling?” “how’s my angel, hm?” “c’mere, baby, sit down. my home is yours, you know that, don’t you?”

- he eats up every single reaction you give him with a wide grin on his face <3 his favourite is when you get shy or flustered he thinks it’s so cute <3

- he also purposefully thinks out loud and kinda speaks to you as if he’s already your boyfriend (if that makes sense ?) in a lot of situations :0 - like he’ll give you compliments that don’t necessarily sound like something that comes from your friend (but not in a creepy, gross, icky way don’t worry 🫶)

- for example, if you’re showing him an outfit you like or new clothes you bought, he’ll sit there and say something like “yeah, it suits you, i like it.” and that would be enough. but then he’ll go like, “you’re so pretty, you know that? prettiest thing i’ve ever seen… y’like a little angel, aren’t you?” 

- izana genuinely thinks you fell down from heaven. there’s no way you didn’t when you’re so perfect and beautiful <3 

- another situation he does that in is when another guy is involved 🧍‍♀️- once he’s successfully managed to scare off the poor guy that just wanted to get your number, he’ll stand there next to you saying stuff like “if he comes and speaks to you, you tell me, okay? can’t have anyone thinkin’ they can take you away from me, can i?” 

- idk if you already guessed but he’s very protective of you and he can get jealous pretty easily :0 -  if you bring up any other person in front of him and he thinks there’s a possibility that you have a crush on them, he’ll bring up every single negative thing he can think of to do with that person (even if it’s something silly and insignificant). bro is having none of it

- “c’mon, you can do better than them!” 

- so yeah he kinda just acts like he’s your boyfriend already (in his head you’re his so it’s not surprising)

- you can tell he has a soft spot for you - he can be perceived as quite intimidating, threatening, simply just scary by some people, but of course he has to be he has a gang to run !!

- not with you. he’s almost like a different person when he’s with you - izana is always so calm and gentle and patient with you <3 he doesn’t even think he really has it in him to be upset with you <3

- hehe izana likes to cuddle with you a lot :0 like when you come over to watch a movie or something he always has you tucked into his side, half asleep <3 - does he stare at you when you sleep? yeah… its because you’re so pretty don’t worry 🫶

- or he’s just trying to guess what dream you’re having idk 

- but you see. izana has his secret weapon. and that is his guitar 😼 - ooo he loves being able to bring out his guitar in the evening when you’re at his house and play your favourite songs <3

- he will literally ask you to give him songs to learn for you. it doesn’t matter how hard they are, even if he thinks it’ll take him years to learn, he’ll still do it for you <3

- and then he’ll play them all for you when you’re sat in his room at god knows what time of night, both of you smiling like idiots because it’s such a nice moment between you :((

- sometimes he likes to write little songs or tunes about you ! he’ll never show them to you but he does 

- i also think he would take you with him every time he goes to get a new fish for his tank hehe

- he lets you pick out the one you like the most and if you want, he lets you give it a name n everything - and because they’re tropical fish they’re all super pretty and colourful so you’re there trying to pick just one like 😮 and it makes him giggle 

- once you picked one out because you said it was the same colours as his earrings so it was “an izana fish” and now it’s his favourite <3

- he also has one that’s got your favourite colours on it and he named it after you <3 - if he ever sees those two fish swimming around with each other he’s sat there like “yeah see even the fish know we’re meant to be 🤷‍♀️”

- it doesn’t really take him long to tell you, he’s pretty straight forward with it too :0 - might not take the rejection too well but it’s fine because we love izana so we won’t reject him 😏

- he would find some random thing to blame it on anyways - even if you rejected him and smacked him in the face he still wouldn’t be mad at you 

- maybe…

˗ˏˋ WAKASA

- he definitely acts like he’s not interested in you in that way at all. no matter how much his friends want to tease him or suggest that he might have a little crush on you, he’ll never admit it 

-  lowkey because he thinks he’ll get over it in a few weeks so he’s like okay whatever (spoiler : he does not get over you and he’s actually in love with you 🤷‍♀️)

- shinichiro will be like “there’s no way you don’t wanna date them, stop lying” and suddenly wakasa’s pulling out every single rejection shin’s ever received telling him he’s not allowed to give him dating advice until he gets a girlfriend 🧍‍♀️

- so it takes him a while to start making moves on you :/

- at first he tries to give you the hint by doing the tiniest thing ever and expecting you to just be like “ohhh, he likes me, makes sense 😮”

- for example, he’ll sit and stare at you, not in a weird-staring-problem way, he’s just admiring you <3 - but if you turn to look in his direction he’ll hold eye contact with you for a second smirk and then look away or be like “what?” 

- and he thinks that’s all he has to do meanwhile you’re sat there like huh ?? 

- lazy wakasa >:(

- i think he could fit into the ‘ladies man’ category 🤨 i saw someone call him that once and agreed immediately. there’s no way he looks and acts like that and isn’t, you can’t tell me otherwise. 

- but he gets his friends not to tell you if you don’t know already :0 just because he doesn’t want you to think he’s just messing with you for no reason, he wants you to know that his feelings are genuine <3

- he likes to tease you and try to make you flustered n stuff <3 (obviously) - his little secret weapon is that he owns a gym so he can come up with some ass excuse to teach you self defence 

- “what if you get into trouble ‘n’ i’m not there to help you, angel? what then, hm? i gotta teach you how to stay safe don’t i?”

- yeah okay 😒

- at first he just teaches you fr because even though this was kinda just an excuse to see you more and flirt with you, he does genuinely want to make sure you can protect yourself if you ever need to - he won’t admit it but he does worry about you 🫶

- but then he really starts trying to fluster you n stuff <3 he does little things like leaning in closer to your face and looking at your lips, leaving lingering touches wherever he’s holding you, whispering in your ear how good you’re doing, stuff like that 

- points out that you’re getting flustered too which makes you want to punch him in the face 😐

- “your cheeks are red, sweets, you got somethin’ you wanna tell me?”

- but you both enjoy his gym sessions a lot because you always find something to giggle over until your stomach hurts 

- he likes to do those little flirty things outside the gym, too, especially if you’re with other people - attention whore wakasa confirmed 🫶 he doesn’t like being ignored by you at all 

- he’s always got his hands resting on your shoulders or he’ll put a hand on the small of your back to move past you - other times he’ll make sure you always stay sat down next to him with his arm around your shoulders 

- of course if it makes you uncomfortable he’ll stop ! he doesn’t want to upset you or weird you out or anything

- he likes to scare off other guys like he will straight up tell them you’re his. then he has to go and convince you that he was a shitty guy and that he was no good for you

- “don’t want any of those shitty guys going ‘n’ hurting you now, do i? ‘s best you stick with me, ‘kay?” boy. 

- he pats your head a lot. doesn’t know why but he likes to

- he also likes to get your to wear his massive jackets, he thinks you look so cute in them <3 

- he’s not the most romantic person ever so he never really tries to come up with cute little secret date ideas, even though senju throws the odd idea at him he’s always like “i’ll see them at the gym tomorrow though, it’s fine!” 

- lazy lazy wakasa 😒

- if you reject him he’ll probably be embarrassed - purely because then shinichiro would have something to make fun of him for in return 🤼

- but it’s fine because we won’t reject wakasa because… lord 🥰

˗ˏˋ KAKUCHO

- an angel. 

- i feel like he won’t ever expect you to like him back so he never really makes any proper moves on you :/

- he kinda just goes along pretending he doesn’t have a crush on you and just enjoys hanging out with you when he can :( - very much just admires you from afar type of crush 

- he does ask you to meet up a lot though ! like you’ll get home after meeting up with him and 5 minutes later you get a text saying something like - “when do you finish work tomorrow?” “are you free any other time this week? today was really fun!” 

- baby just wants to see you :(

- you also can’t meet up with him without getting a text on your way home saying something like “are you home yet?” “let me know when you get home it’s getting dark :)” “be careful, btw, next time i’ll give you a lift home!”

- he thinks he’d go crazy if anything bad happened to you :/ 

- it literally keeps him awake at night sometimes. ask izana, he’s had plenty of “do you think they’re home yet, they haven’t responded yet?” messages from a worried kakucho 😭

- which is one of the reasons why he doesn’t want to tell you about his involvement with gangs - the last thing he wants is to have you become involved in any way possible with something to do with his or any other gangs and to have you be put in danger because of him

- he also doesn’t want to scare you off :/ - him thinking you won’t ever reciprocate his feelings is enough, he doesn’t need you disliking him or being weirded out by him on top of it

- kakucho isn’t the most verbal person ever when it comes to affection - more because he gets nervous but he also just prefers good old physical affection <3

- he likes to cuddle with you. it doesn’t matter what you’ve planned on doing with him that day, he will always find a way to end up back at someone’s house so you can both cuddle <3

- he was nervous the first time he tried to initiate it because he didn’t want you to turn around and smack him in the middle of the movie you were watching 💀 - but it’s fine because you didn’t and now it feels like a little routine <3

- sometimes he even organises movie nights for the sole purpose of being able to watch the entire thing whilst lying on your chest 🫶 

- “y/n roll over- no, just onto your back, idiot!” 

- he also falls asleep on you a lot <3 - he feels very safe and comfortable around you and it’s one of the only times he feels truly relaxed so he comes out of his shell a lot more <3

- so sometimes when he’s feeling confident he’ll kiss your hand hehe - but then plays it off as a joke or tries to convince you that that’s just what friends do 

- he doesn’t really get jealous, more worried that you’ll find someone that you like more than him and you’ll eventually leave him :((

- he doesn’t say anything about it to you though he just sits and worries about it by himself 😭

- i think he likes listening to music with you <3 he likes to show you his record collection and gets you to show him songs that you like 

- he makes a playlist of songs you show him and puts it on in when he’s lying in bed thinking about you and smiling like an idiot <3

- he really wants you to like izana. you and izana are probably the most important people in his life so he really wants you to get along well 🫶

- he doesn’t think he’ll ever confess to you, he’s happy with what y’all have with each other atm 🤷‍♀️

- unless izana steps in and tries to convince him to do otherwise 😏

reblogs appreciated <3

[everseeking]

hello!! It's your relief story anon!!! i friken love what you wrote!!! may i have another request 🥺 similar to the relief story, Levi's s/o gets into a near death experience right in front of him and he freezes for the first time. everyone's super shocked abt it after the mission and he gets reprimanded just for formalities (erwin n hanji rlly just wanna check up on him personally) but they all understand since he's been through a lot. Levi can't deal with his emotions and he wants to say i love you to his s/o (first time saying it) but he doesn't know how and yes HAHAHAHA

- OMG HI AGAIN ! IM SO HAPPY THAT YOU ENJOYED IT THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!!! thank you again not only for requesting that, but also for requesting again, it’s so awesome when u guys come back and request more :) plus your ideas are always so great. i had a lot of fun writing this, i hope u enjoy <3 (and i got your second message tysm for adding it ! i tried to include as much fluff as possible but my dumb brain always defaults to angst hahaha)

how to say i love you

- levi ackerman x reader

warnings: season 2 and ova spoilers (if you haven’t watched the ova’s yet they’re on youtube but this only references ‘a choice with no regrets’ aka levi’s ova)

levi has never had...feelings for anyone before.

the romantic kind, of course. he's felt plenty of things towards people on a regular basis—anger. hate. disgust. confusion. annoyance. frustration.

to be fair he has had the occasional friend, or the occasional person who he respected, and others who he flat out wanted to protect. just never anything romantic.

this didn’t bother him, falling in love wasn’t his top priority or anything. his life has been one traumatic experience after the other. there was no time for him to be romantically involved with another, nor was he willing to take the risk of potential heartbreak that would add to his constantly growing list of traumatic events.

when he first met y/n l/n he acknowledged her as nothing more than another member of the survey corps. someone he would work with. someone he would train with. someone who he would give orders to if deemed necessary. someone who would join his team. someone he would slowly become more curious about. someone who would bring him feelings that he couldn't describe in words.

his plans had clearly gone astray.

y/n was supposed to be nothing more than a colleague, but somehow fate had much more in store. the young girl began to appear more and more in his life and before he could even process it, she was already apart of his team.

now that the they were spending almost everyday together, along with the rest of his team, levi had the opportunity to try to solve the mystery that was y/n.

there was something that he felt about her that he couldn't put into words. the way she was determined to save humanity and her friends, the way she poured everything she had into everything she did, the way she was strong in every aspect of the word, the way she got along with the rest of the team, the way she laughed, the way she smiled, the way she spoke, the way she moved, all of it. it all encapsulated him.

what is this emotion ? fascination ? curiosity ? these words weren’t completely right, but they safe enough for him to settle on for now.

yes, that's all. the brat just makes me curious because i don't understand her.

at least, that's what he told himself. but the tingles that remained on his skin from the place where she accidentally brushed up against him or the way his stomach felt after his eyes met hers or the way he noticed himself always wanting to be near her or the way he wanted to protect her more than anything in the world, said otherwise.

whatever message he wanted to send probably definitely was not passed on. when y/n accidentally brushed up against him he snapped back "watch it." when she made eye contact with him, it was more her meeting his eyes and him seemingly glaring back. when he took a few steps towards her to be closer, she felt paranoid, wondering if he was determining whether or not he should scold her for something. when she was on missions and he occasionally had to step in and save her tail, she felt like she was slacking.

truthfully in all these situations levi just resorted back to his true nature. he never meant any harm so clearly he wasn’t the best at expressing his feelings. henceforth, the three word phrase was foreign to him.

after all the many challenges that came with trying to understand each other, the couple finally got together. but despite being together, neither had said the 'L word’ yet. 

to be honest, y/n hadn’t dwelled on it too much. she had learned the best way to survive mentally was to live in the moment. when the time would come, the time would come, however, the thought that time wasn’t a guarantee gnawed at the back of her brain.  she always wondered how levi felt about the matter, but never got around to asking. little did he know he’d once again find out for himself that time wasn’t a guarantee.

just like every other day, y/n awoke to levi placing a kiss on her forehead. he wished nothing more than to let the love of his life sleep late into the morning in their shared bed, safe from the dangers of the world, but there was another mission today in which he needed her by his side.

the plan was to head to the outskirts of wall rose to a forest that was known to be surrounded by titans. hanji convinced erwin to let her try to capture titans in the forest again, as it all but worked on the female titan. erwin agreed, not only because he too believed the survey corps had all the materials necessary to capture titans again, but also because he knew the scouts needed more real time practice in the forest. levi wasn’t happy to hear the commander refer to this as “practice,” since so many lives were guaranteed to be lost in the process, but there was nothing he could do about it.

with everyone’s approval and the preparations complete, they were off. the ride there had been as close to smooth sailing as possible, with erwin successfully rerouting the troops to avoid as many unnecessary collisions with titans as possible and a surprisingly low amount of abnormals in their path. but everyone knew the real problems would be up ahead.

in this area, the titans were mainly surrounding the thick trees in the forest. it wasn’t too far from the forest where they encountered the female titan so the layout of the jungle was fairly similar. a large path ran straight through the trees, leaving the scouts lots of opportunities.

before the forest itself came into view, the hoard otherworldly creatures showed up. the crowd of titans didn’t seem to be too bad, with none surpassing ten meters. a bit of the outer edges of the formation took a hit, but everyone else made it into the woods unscathed.

unlike the last time levi’s squad was in the forest, their objective was not to be the bait. instead, they were to take to the trees and be on clean up duty. it was a little different from their normal clean up duty, as they weren’t doing chores around the castle or cabin—they were eliminating stray titans. the survey corps was only prepared to capture two titans, so any others that entered needed to be exterminated.

they weren’t the only ones with this job, but erwin placed them as the last hoop the titans had to get through before they were captured. any titans that escaped the first few groups were more likely than not going to be challenging, so they needed to be left with the most talented squad.

the eight scouts that made up levi’s squad traveled the path that cut through the forest until they found the four trees in which they were to set up camp. levi and jean were on the first tree, armin and sasha on the one across from them, connie and mikasa on the next, and y/n and eren on the fourth. the formation placed y/n and levi diagonal from each other so they could each defend half of the younger scouts in their squad if necessary, as well as had the team in pairs that weren’t often together for even more practice.

the ground rumbled beneath the group as they looked down to see the first wave of soldiers acting as bait pass through. after some time and a few more waves, including hanji and erwin who were in charge of the traps, everyone passed through and the titans came into sight.

the ground troops had all reported that no abnormals or titans above ten meters made it in so they all relaxed—or relaxed as one can be when they’re facing man-eating giants. levi recognized the last troop passing through and gave his second in command a nod which she returned, letting everyone else know it was show time.

the rumbling of the ground from the horses before was nothing compared to that of the titans. not counting the first two, there were nine titans in all. everyone gave a silent thanks to the squads who had narrowed down the hoard before it arrived to them.

finally, the first two titans ran past the trees levi’s squad was hidden in, chasing the ground troops. with a loud “now !” from levi, the rest of them deployed from their hiding places. thanks to the squad’s impeccable teamwork and countless hours of training in forests closer to home, the remaining seven titans were taken out without a hitch. y/n couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride as she watched her team improve with every mission and it was obvious they all felt the same way. the way they beamed and had to hold back their celebration was as a clear as day.

the team regrouped, with y/n checking the younger members for any life threatening wounds and levi double checking all the titans were taken care of. she had just finished examining sasha when levi came back and announced the next step of today’s plan. everyone was to head forward to meet the other troops and aid in getting the titans back to the walls. although the titans may be secured, there were still infinite possibilities for catastrophes that could happen so they needed all the backup they could get. the young cadets nodded in agreement then followed after levi as he took to the sky, with y/n tailing the rest of the group. if y/n and levi weren’t side by side during missions, this was always the formation everyone fell into. levi led the way, protecting the front of the party, and she acted as the caboose to make sure no one got left behind as well as to protect them from the back.

after a few failed tricks from eren as he tried to show off with his gear and a quick scolding from levi, the rest of the scouts came into view. the mission appeared to be a success. the final two titans were both apprehended, one nailed to the ground and the other bound in the air.

squad levi landed and began to greet everyone but didn’t get very far when hanji’s squeals flooded everyone’s ears.

the scientist was practically bouncing up and down as she came over. “squad levi ! all in one piece, i see. let me show you what we’ve done,” she gushed, ushering all of them towards the titans.

it was no surprise she was so excited. she had been waiting for this day to arrive for ages, but levi still gave a quick “tch,” under his breath out of annoyance which forced y/n to cover her mouth with her palm to stifle a laugh.

the eight, now nine, of them cranned their necks up to see the side of the beast that was hammered into the ground. the sight would’ve been cruel if it were anything other than a titan, but remembering all the pain they’ve brought to each one of them, no one did so much as bat an eye. returning the focus back to hanji, everyone watched as she took a sharp inhale to prepare for her long ramble about how everything worked. lucky for y/n, before hanji could exhale, levi grabbed his partner’s arm and pulled her away.

he pulled her close so he could whisper in her ear, “come on, let’s go find erwin.”

as much as she wanted to argue with him and tell him he was being mean, she really didn’t want to listen to hanji’s spiel that she had heard a million times over. a tiny pang of guilt struck y/n for leaving the other half of the squad behind forced to listen to her, but sometimes everyone has to take one for the team.

she threw a quick wave over her shoulder to the others, then followed levi, who was still holding her arm, as he dragged her through the crowd of other scouts who were just floating around, waiting for orders, until he finally spotted the commander.

the tall man’s eyes fell upon the pair and he drew himself away from whomever he was speaking with to come greet them.

“ah levi, y/n,” erwin began. levi’s expression stayed the same but y/n offered the man a small smile and wave which he returned with a nod. erwin was actually the one who recommended to levi that he should consider y/n to be apart of his squad, so she heavily credited him entirely with starting your relationship with levi (even if levi disagreed every time she told him this). 

levi and erwin fell into formal conversation, discussing the remainder of the mission, which left y/n realizing levi hadn’t really saved her from a talk you’ve heard countless times before, but instead brought her into another one. 

hanji’s rambling would have been more interesting than this she thought to yourself as she began lazily scanned the small sea of scouts scrambling around, looking for a way to entertain yourself until the two men were done talking. one group in particular caught her eyes.

the soldiers seemed to be much more jittery than everyone else. they frantically looked amongst each other and towards the titan that hanji had just finished showing the rest of levi’s squad, and seemed to be contemplating a solution to an unknown issue.

it was clear something was up. 

just as she placed her hand on levi’s shoulder to bring his and erwin’s focus over to the scene, the ground began to shake, which caught their attention for her. 

no one had time to react when dust flew up everywhere, obstructing everyone’s views so they couldn’t see where the loud crashes that followed came from. a strong force slammed into them, throwing them who knows how far into the air. the fear of hitting the ground barely had enough time to settle into y/n before everything went dark.

everyone in the vicinity had been sent flying into the air along, but levi was the first one to be up on his feet again. bringing his arms up to shield his eyes, he decided to stay where he was as the dust cleared so he could assess the situation and move on from there. 

the scene finally came into view; he gathered that the titan had ripped its arm through the nails that secured it to the floor of the woods, then flailed it around in an attempt to grab people. it made a clean sweep in the area that he was previously standing—all that was left were debris and broken wood planks from the compartments that were attached to the other titan’s traps.

a wave of adrenaline passed through his body as he remembered who was with him. he needed to find not only erwin immediately, but also y/n. he reached down to grab the handles of his controller grip but froze instantly upon seeing what had just come into view as more of the dust cleared.

y/n was sprawled out on the ground, ODM gear tossed a few feet away from her body but more importantly, the titan’s hand was hovering mere meters above her.

his pulse almost quickened twicehold, but it felt as though it heart had stopped in his chest. situations like this presented themselves to levi almost everyday of his life, but this was much different. in those, he was almost two steps ahead. he knew that by now he should be wrapping his arms around y/n and pulling her to safety at breakneck speed, or even better, he should’ve shielded her from harm at the very beginning. but right now he couldn’t do so much as move his finger.

levi was completely inert—his arms felt like they being weighed down by a ball and chain, his legs felt like they had grown roots into the ground that planted in him place. his throat ran dry and his stomach felt like it had just done a flip. the rest of him went numb while shock consumed his body, physically and mentally, rendering him entirely helpless.

images of isabel, farlan, petra, oluo, eld, gunther, and countless others all flashed before him, the same running theme echoed in his mind—he wasn’t able to save them. all he had to do was pull back a single index finger. this would launch one of his anchors into the back of the titan’s neck, sending him flying to slice its nape. but he couldn’t do it. the only thing he knew he had the power to do was watch helplessly as his partner would be eaten alive.

the shouts of others flooded his ears as his senses slowly began to return to him, but it didn’t matter. he couldn’t make out a thing. frankly he wished he could so he could break away from the things that occupied his mind now. shame. guilt. humiliation. fear. regret. he took for granted every moment he had ever spent with y/n. every smile she gave him. every time he embraced her. every kiss. every conversation they shared under the stars while everyone else was fast asleep. every opportunity he had but failed to tell her that he—

before he finished his thought someone finally broke through his trance. erwin was the one who was able to crack the surface and bring him back to life. 

the commander was shouting levi’s name, hoping, praying, to wake him up from whatever was going on in his head. levi was still unable feel his body, but he realized he was moving as the ground began to grow smaller. one of erwin’s strong arms hooked around levi’s middle and they were flying away from the chaos below. the commander spared a glance to levi to see the man’s eyes were still trained on y/n.

the feeling returned to levi’s body as he felt the pain of being thrown onto one of the thick tree branches surge through his body. not knowing how else to bring him back from the trance that wasn’t full broken, erwin had tossed off of him levi instead of placing him down gently.

he watched as levi scrambled up and expected him to yell back for throwing him, but the response was much different.

“where is she ??” levi demanded. his eyes may have been on y/n the whole time, but his mind was elsewhere replaying scenes from the past. he had no idea if she had been eaten, or even survived the initial attack. the only think he saw was her body on the ground, unmoving.

“safe,” erwin confirmed. “hanji ran over just in time and got her. but what happened to you ?” no one had ever seen levi freeze up the way he did. others believed it was just fear which made him seem a little more human to them, but erwin knew it was more than that.

throughout the years, erwin watched levi witness the deaths of those closest to him, and even then he was still able to act. but after seeing him go rigid, erwin was more than worried. it was clear levi went into shock, however, shock runs more than skin deep. 

this became even more evident to him as levi remained silent the entire way back to the walls. y/n was still unconscious, so one of the open carts was her escort. guilt continued to wash over levi as he wasn’t able to ride in the cart with her to monitor her closely because he had to ride his horse back. regardless, he stayed as close to the cart as possible and stole as many glances her way as he could.

if he had it his way, he would’ve waited outside the infirmary for y/n when they arrived back home, but hanji and erwin practically dragged him to the mess hall to replenish his energy. this may or may not be skipping the part where levi was questioned about what happened, followed by him being chastised for his actions (or lack there of). levi could bare focus even though it was such a serious conversation. his mind was still a hazy mess. as much as hanji and erwin wanted to talk to levi more about the situtation, they knew it was best for the conversation to end there for the day. levi looked so shaken up that he could barely keep himself standing so the last thing he needed was to be yelled at more. the entire corps also made sure to steer clear of the man. he usually had all his emotions hidden but they were on full display now. it still scared the hell out of them.

but the fear alone wasn’t enough to stop them from whispering to themselves. word carried fast about how captain levi froze up and watched one of his squad mates almost die. the ones who only heard about the story instead of witnessing it couldn’t believe what they were hearing. the captain levi did nothing while one of his own almost became titan food ? 

hearing the whispers in passing, levi didn’t care that they were talking about him, but he was still affected. their words just made reality sink deeper into him. they weren’t the only ones who were unable to believe what happened. he really just watched helplessly as someone almost died. and it wasn’t just someone, it was his other half.

“hey levi ?” hanji voiced, pulling him out of his head. levi didn’t bother looking up from his food that he had been staring at for the past few minutes to face her. the best he could to was give her a side glance as he peered at her from the corner of his eyes and waited for her to finish.

the glare he was sending her way made her blood run cold, but she took the hint and continued. “are you alright ?” she asked in a small voice.

“does it look like i’m alright ?” he growled back, then went back to eating.

“just wanted to ask,” she added with an awkward laugh then turned to erwin who was on the other side of her. for once in her life she knew not to press any harder, but making levi upset wasn’t her intention. she was genuinely worried about him. hanji gave erwin a what do i do now ? look, hoping for some help, but erwin could only shake his head. he cared about levi just as much as she did, but he knew there was nothing either of them could do or say to make levi feel better. the only thing he needed was to see y/n.

at last, levi finished his dinner and excused himself to go find his partner. as his feet carried him at a quick pace across the stone floors of the many hallways in HQ, fear came back to his already grim mind. there was no word on y/n’s condition so he assumed no progress had been made and she was still unconscious. 

needless to say, when he rounded the corner and saw her sitting on the bench right outside the infirmary swiveling her heels and tapping her toes together as if she was bored, shock overcame him once again, this time on a much lower scale. similar to just a few hours ago, he was frozen instantly upon seeing her. it was a much prettier sight this time, but it was still painful to see. the bandage that wrapped around her head peaked out from being any strands of hair that fell in front of her face, other wraps and patches plastered themselves across her arms and legs, and some purple and blue splotches peaked out from behind them. this was only the skin that was exposed. for once in his life levi didn’t want to think about what she looked like when she weren’t wearing any clothes. he made a quick mental note to later place tender kisses on all her bumps and bruises, and took of running towards her.

y/n had been discharged from the infirmary during dinner hours, so the halls has been quite empty as she sat outside alone, falling into boredom. when the first sounds of shoes hitting the ground entered her ears, she got a bit excited, but calmed herself down reminding herself it probably wasn’t him. but when the steps got quicker and louder, she finally let yourself look up to see up to see her partner was the source. there was no point in holding back anyone; her face visibly lit up and a wide smile placed itself on her lips. just like levi, y/n wanted nothing more in the entire world than to see him. 

he run turned to a jog then a complete stop as he halted in front of her. despite being so anxious to see one another, neither were really prepared. they just kinda...stared at each other, neither sure of the right words to say. levi decided to take the initiative. he opened his mouth, hoping something, anything, would come out, but his attempt fell flat. words just weren’t enough. instead, he lifted his arms and placed both hands gently on y/n’s shoulders. she caught on quickly, standing up at the same time as he was pulling her into his arms for a tight embrace.

the pair remained silent in each other’s arms until y/n decided to take initiative this time and finally spoke. “is it true ?” she mumbled against his neck, barely loud enough for him to hear.

as much as he had hoped the gossip would stay in the mess hall, levi knew that inevitably word would spread to her. someone must have told her everything that happened, leaving in every little detail about how levi made no moves to save her life, ending up having to be saved by hanji in the end.

based off his silence, y/n knew levi had a lot on his mind so she continued “did you really freeze up?” 

he didn’t realize it, but he had tensed up at her words. it absolutely pained him to answer, but he couldn’t imagine the pain she were feeling. 

summing up his courage, he began to confirm the worst, but she pulled away before he could get more than a “yes,” out. levi braced himself for the hurt expression that he would be faced with, knowing his heart would break instantly as she realized he truly did failed to protect her, but instead he was met with kind eyes and soft face.

the look on his face had utter disbelief written all over it as her hands went up to cup his face that was now reddening. “are you okay?” y/n asked softly. “im so sorry.”

levi was beyond bewildered. he wanted her to be furious at him. yell at him. pull her soft hands back and strike him as much as she pleased. tell him he failed and that she couldn’t stand the sight of him. he knew he deserved it all and more, but he should’ve known she would never do that. that wasn’t y/n.

he melted into her touch and placing one of his hand over one of hers that remained on his cheek. “i was terrified, y/n.”

y/n finally gave him one of her beautiful smiles and giggled softly. “why were you scared ? i was the one who almost got eaten,” she teased.

y/n’s laughs had quickly subsided after seeing the serious look that had etched itself onto levi’s face. “because you were in danger,” he started.

“i don’t know what id do with myself if i lost you, i...”

“i love you, y/n.”

it was finally y/n’s turn to get a taste of the shock that levi had been experiencing all day. she could’ve sworn her heart skipped a beat at his words, followed by butterfly wings tickling the inside of her tummy, her eyes widening and jaw falling slack. her hands slowly slipped from his face to instead place one of her palms on her chest to make sure her heart was indeed pumping at a regular pace.

levi, on the other hand, was not having a magical experience. y/n’s reaction made him feel as though his feelings weren’t reciprocated despite having been together for so long. he started to get deeper into his head, negative thoughts starting to eat away at him once again, when she finally spoke.

“i love you too, levi,” she breathed out, still too stunned to breathe properly.

levi had had enough of being unable to move for one day. one of his hands grabbed y/n’s waist while the other found its way to the back of her head, as he kissed her roughly, which she eagerly returned. the way he felt her grin against his lips was enough to make all the pain and fear he had experienced that day worth it.

he couldn’t have asked for a better outcome to such a shitty day.

levi had finally learned how to say i love you and he thanked the stars every night following that day that y/n was the one who taught him how.

[stxleslyds]

I have read your thought about the Batfamily, now I really want to know your thought about the one who started it, the Batman himself. We can't ignore the fact that Bruce is abusing his children, but there's also some moments where he's being a good father to them. But some of his act doesn't make sense.

He's beating his children, then calling them his son after. He act like a mad man after Damian's death (yeah, they did Jason dirty in here), feeling sorrow and desperately wanting to ressurect him, but then neglecting him continously in the future. I didn't know much about Cass, Bruce seems to always be a good father to her. But her fans once pointed that Bruce (or DC) is too hard on her to not killing/too soft on the others, because the other batkids has killed some villains while under Batman and still got to continue putting on their costumes.

What is exactly Bruce character? How is his relationship with every one of his children?

I feel like Batman can't be in a good relationship with one of his children without destroying his relationship with the other. I always love parents and children relationship in comics, but with batfamily sometimes it just so 'fanon-y' and some are hurtful.

I stopped reading Batman book for a long time. And come back reading that wedding and city of bane arc, because I want to know how they killed Alfred. And honestly those run are terrible. The issue basically just a batcat fanservice, with the worst Batman and Catwoman characterization ever. The batkids didn't even got many appearance and treated awfully as if they are just extras, even if they all are capable and have connection with Alfred.

Hey there Anon!

My thoughts on Batman and Bruce have changed over the last few years, he wasn’t the character that introduced me to DC comics but what I got to read from him at the time seemed good. As time went by, I started to feel like the whole concept of Batman was overrated and he kinda tired me in entertainment such as movies and all that. He never truly was a character that I actually liked so by the time that I read Under the Red Hood I knew that I liked Dick and Jason better than Bruce.

Batman was interesting but I was completely indifferent about Bruce. That whole thing changed around the time that the New 52 was sort of ending, there I started to heavily dislike Bruce and then that turned into pure hate. Now, I am just tired of the guy and every time that he appears in Dick or Jason content my day is ruined.

I hate that DC has been writing Bruce as an abusive and manipulative person and father to his “kids”, he has done a lot of wrong to them in comic history but all went to shit (in current comics) when Bruce tried to manipulate Jason into reliving the day that he died and his resurrection in Batman and Robin vol2. #20 and when he beat Dick and manipulated him into becoming a spy after telling him that he had told everyone that he was dead in Nightwing vol.3 #30.

Bruce was a horrible human being in the pre-New 52 timeline too sometimes, mostly towards Dick but in a way, it felt like Dick was able time and time again to get away from him a little bit. Now none of his kids are given the opportunity to turn their backs on Bruce, they are kept in his surroundings no matter how abusive he becomes towards them.

My biggest problem with Bruce’s abusiveness is the fact that the writers never treat it like he acts in an abusive way, they never make him apologize or have an internal discussion where he realises that he was in the wrong. “Bruce is a horrible person to his sons but it doesn’t matter because he is right and he is Batman so that’s that”, that’s the message that I feel DC is selling us. Bruce never receives punishment or is called out for his behaviour, Dick was never able to tell Bruce that what he did to him was unforgivable, he never got the chance to explain to anyone that he didn’t play dead, and when he came back from Spyral he took all the shit from his “family” himself.

Sometimes DC does something even worse, they try to hide Bruce’s neglect with things that never happened like they did with the Ric thing in Dick’s case. Dick was passed around from villain to villain when he was most vulnerable and at the end of it all DC had the guts to say that Batman had been watching over Dick all the time. Like, why lie in such a blatant way? Does Bruce enjoy watching his son suffer from a far or was he too much of a coward to tell Dick that he was a shit father, got stuck in a hole and then decided to play “Cat and Bat” with Selina instead of caring for any of his children?

The situation with Damian’s death and resurrection was a whole thing that was meant to prove that Bruce loved Damian and considered him his son. But in their effort to make Bruce look like a good father to Damian they completely destroyed his relationship with his other kids and that was also the start of Bruce referring to Damian as his ONLY son. And like you said after Damian was resurrected Bruce ended up neglecting him afterwards which ultimately led Damian to run away.

His relationship with Cass and Duke is something that I cannot explore because I am not into those characters and they are involved in books that I am not interested in. So I cannot say anything about that.

With Tim it’s complicated because I feel like his relationship with him was never actually father/son it was more like mentor/mentee and that seemed to work better for them, ever since they started the whole family thing Bruce started to act a little bit too rough towards Tim and that ended with Bruce punching Tim during the “City of Bane” arc. Bruce never apologised or was shown realising his mistake, but DC made sure to explain that Bruce was going through a rough time so that’s why he did it. It was pure rubbish and I dislike it a lot.

I answered an ask a while ago about how I thought Dick and Jason could become family the way that DC treats the “Batfamily” within comics and I came up with the idea of the “Dickfamily” because I felt like DC made a big mistake the moment they revolved the Bat family around Bruce and not Dick. Bruce is a character that is known for being lonely and for being surrounded by darkness that he only manages to escape through the light of Robin (Dick Grayson because he was the first), he was always depicted as someone who is hard to work with and considers his teammates only co-workers and not friends. He is a difficult person to connect with, so why on earth did DC come up with a family surrounding that man? (I actually know the answer to that question and it is: money, DC did it to sell more comics under the Batman name but we are going to forget about that here, let me be petty).

Why would DC make it all about a man that doesn’t connect or goes out of his way to say that he “works alone” when Dick Grayson is standing right there? DC hates that they created a character like Dick because he is just better than Bruce at everything, he just is, he is better family to Alfred, Jason, Tim and Damian, he was even written as a better father to Damian than Bruce ever was!

Bruce is just not a people person or a person that forms strong bonds with people. And that makes the whole “Batfamily” concept suffer and come off as something forced that doesn’t actually work.

Tom King was one of the writers that tried to kill the concept of the “Batfamily” with Bruce and Selina becoming a couple and by continuously saying that Selina was who was the most important person in Bruce’s life and the one that made him a better person. All Tom King did with that is make fans and non-fans of the “Batfamily” feel rage. Like, I might not like the “Batfamily” but there is no way that Selina comes first to Alfred, Dick or Damian, there is just no way and if that were actually true then that’s boring.

All the writers that have pushed the “Batfamily” concept (try) do it in a way that makes it look grand and of actual essence but without putting any work on it, if you ask me the “Batfamily” (if there has to be one) should only include Bruce, Alfred (he do be dead though), Dick, Tim, Cass and Damian (I suppose Duke too, I don’t know much about him). The “Batfamily” has to be small because that way you can actually build relationships and make them matter. Having Kate, Steph, Jason and so many others involved in a concept that was made to fit around Bruce looks stupid! Bruce has had almost zero connection to Kate and Steph in the last ten years and Bruce’s “relationship” with Jason is a complete joke!

Bruce is just not the character that is meant to be surrounded by too much people, and he is not a good person towards his family so the whole ass concept should be thrown to the trash and finally let it die. But money is important and if there is something that DC will never stop doing, is milking Batman for content that can be (sometimes) pretty basic.

All in all, I think Bruce sucks and that his “kids” shouldn’t be dragged back to him ever again or at least for a long while. All of them would actually benefit from not being involved with anything relating to Batman. Dick could benefit from Bruce and other Bat-related characters staying away from him and letting him live his life in Bludhaven. And Jason? My sweet Chonky? He would be in such a better place if Bruce disappeared from his life, imagine the actually good books we would have if Jason was free to act the way he was meant to do as the Red Hood…

(We saw a little bit of that in the back up story of Detective Comics by Rosenberg, Batman is still involved but he and Jason are definitely not on the same side of the story! So excited for Task Force Z!)

I don’t know If al that I just said answers your question but I hope you have a fantastic week Anon!

[yourfavouritetragedy]

I was adding onto the DSMP Actor AU post, but it turned into Wilbur musician AU, haha rip me, and I only know SBI anyways so here’s a separate post. (It goes back to actor AU at the end.) It’s hypothetically still in the same universe though, and obviously inspired by it. If anything’s phrased weirdly, it’s cuz this was originally an addition to that. 

tbh I kinda adhered to their IRL careers too much compared to the OP but whatever it’s fine. 

Also frick the “Dream SMP” for not having a better title lmaooo

Wilbur is an indie artist really on the come up

Your City Gave Me Asthma was pretty good for a first release, popular with both new fans and fans of his acting.

He had starred in a short mystery/thriller-ish series that started off disguised as a normal sitcom: Chilly in Lincolnshire {Editor Wilbur ARG}

It had a prominent release because of Jack Massey’s involvement and previous fame, but production was abruptly scrapped before it tied everything up with a bow on top, so to speak. It’s still unclear if this was actually planned in order to tell the story the way they way wanted. 

Even before that, critics had mixed reviews, either applauding the storytelling and acting or calling it “irrationally confusing, an amateurish attempt to box unconventional storytelling into a conventional medium.”

Also SootHouse was a sitcom that achieved a cult following during the two seasons it ran before cancellation. Either you’re a fan or you’re never heard of it, and people constantly forget Wilbur was in it. 

(He was a few other old shows on his resume too. Wilbur always focuses on the newest project, so everyone always forgets about what he was in before.) 

Maybe I Was Boring EP was initially just bonus tracks on his website, but his fans liked it so much he gave it a wider release

In between, he had a few comedy songs go viral on youtube. Everybody was so confused when they realized it was the same Wilbur as musician/actor Wilbur. He laughed about it in an interview, saying “How many Wilburs do you know?” 

That’s when it came out that “Wilbur Soot” was actually a stage name. (”Ha, fair, only one.” “Make that zero-- my name’s not really Wilbur.”)

He kinda disappeared after that?? Didn’t do anything, really inactive on social media. It was semi-confirmed that he was both working on his mental health and prepping some stuff (music, auditions).

But anyways he just released a series of singles, combined into Digital Love {E-girl trilogy}-- he’s transformed his image yet again, but this time he does take ownership of all his past ventures.

The release of Digital Love bridges the end of SMP Earth and the beginning Dream SMP. 

But before that there was MCC and the other stuff.

They are shows where celebrities team up do stuff-- you know the type 

but Minecraft Monday is still inexplicably Minecraft Monday. Some Youtuber just managed to get all these up and coming celebrities to play a Minecraft tournament. 

And that’s where the Sleepy Bois (minus Tommy) met IRL so that’s where they meet here. 

SMP Earth, like Minecraft Manhunts, is also a former show they were on. I’m going to call it World Domination. Don’t @ me; I know that’s trash lol. 

They and the Dream Team met up because of their shared fanbases and were even talking a crossover, but it didn’t really work that well for the stories so they scrapped it

They make a non-canon cross over episode anyways {no IRL equivalent, I think}

Everybody loves the cons. Everytime there’s a con, five friendships are made and eight ideas are created. 

Techno backstory time

He’s done a lot of long running, though not exactly popular, serials and sitcoms: Blitz, Survival Games, and Sky Wars. 

Winstreak: 1000 {Bed Wars 1000 winstreak} was so popular they made a second season, but it never got as big as the first. He worked nearly exclusively with Hypixel Studios. 

He was doing lots of random content for their new Sky World universe {Skyblock} -- the small studio was big on experimentation -- , when a fictional documentary, The Great Potato War, went proper viral. 

They made two sequels WHILE he was doing those celebrity team challenge shows and then World Domination, and they were actually good sequels.

Got a reputation for being shallow and a sell-out, but he makes a joke of it so much he gets away with it and constantly self-promos.

Also a kinda scary to work with for the first time because of how single-minded he can get, but once you realize how socially awkward he is it’s okay.  

Now that’s he’s in a lot of stuff with worldbuilding, he practically has the wikis memorized. 

Tommy mainly did limited series and movies before World Domination, where he met the SBI.

He’d had been a fan of Wilbur for a while, and was super star-struck at first, but got over it really quickly in his Tommy style

He still is a total fanboy at concerts and whenever a new music video drops. “I’m friends with the guy! I know him, Wilbur Soot!” “Tommy, you’re famous too.” “Yeah, cuz I’m practically in the video!” “No--” 

Wilbur takes Tommy to one of his concerts and he’s so hyped the entire time, especially to go behind the scenes and on the stage. 

Sometimes he gets stressed about the pressure of being a child star, but Techno, Philza, and Wilbur promise to stand by him and they make him feel protected 

One time Wilbur’s drunk and almost hands Tommy a drink before swearing and going, “You’re a bloody child! You can’t have that! God, what would Philza think?” Tommy’s not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. 

Philza laughs at the story and actually lets Tommy try a little in a more controlled, responsible situation. Tommy texts his mum first, and then hates the drink anyways. (”This is rubbish! I am a man, but I’m not drinking this!” Techno: “Alcohol is disappointing. I drink orphan’s tears instead.” “Techno WHAT--”)

Philza had been the star of a zombie apocalypse show: Golden Core 

He did canonically die to a child zombie in the movie version. Yes, they made a movie version of the TV show, because the Golden Core franchise actually has had many other shows {other hardcore series}. 

Everybody tries to get the child zombie props near him because of that (they’re puppets)

He’s done a lot of other things, like in the original actor AU post, but none of them came close in popularity. 

He gives the rest of the SBI the knowledge he’s gained from being in the biz for so long. 

There’s also a running joke about SBI meaning “Spy Boys Incorporated” and them starring in a comedy spy movie

The fans would very much actually like this to happen. There’s so many fanons for it (maybe I’ll write one....) 

Back to the DSMP. Maybe I’ll call it Dreamland or smth. 

Wilbur constantly asks Tommy if he’s okay after any difficult scenes

Especially when they were hanging out together a lot in the exile arc.

All the brother scenes were cut because Wilbur kept breaking down and crying in them.

Sometimes people actually ask Techno and Tommy if they’re actually brothers. Tommy tries to go along with it half the time on the basis of “it’s be funny,” so there’s a subset of casual fans that genuinely don’t know. 

After Alivebur was killed off, Wilbur was going to leave the show to concentrate on his music

But he missed the SMP and hanging so much that he just showed up on set one day saying “I’m a ghost now,” and everyone just rolled with it

Alivebur was so popular that, seeing that Wilbur was willing, they decided to bring him back for Season 3. He’s been avoiding doing heavy scenes, but he still seems really invested and like he wants to come back to the show.

Wilbur talks with Techno about writing and lore a lot

it’s one the few times Wilbur actually seems like the older one

Wilbur attempted to get a D&D group going in the cast, but the show was already close enough, with the amount of improvisation they can get by with

Tommy’s Pigstep cover happened, but the background was Philza clapping barely in time with just Wilbur on bass instead (and of course Techno’s “BAHP”s)

It was a charity stream. They had put on their costumes (clothes only) for a previous goal. 

This one was simply called “We rap.”

Some people were almost disappointed that Tommy was the only one actually rapping, but he was so funny it made up for it. 

Okay I spent the whole morning on this and it got way too long but I think I’m finally out of ideas. sorry haha hope you enjoyed! ^_^

[ordinaryschmuck]

Starkid Musicals Ranked from Worst to Best

Salutations to you, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Welp. I finally did it. I've watched the entire Starkid musical library, and I must say, most of these plays fit my writing style perfectly:

Humor that is cynical yet random

Leaning in with comedy while sprinkling in some well-executed drama

An understanding that any type of story works as long as the cast of varying personalities of characters is dynamic enough to result in some phenomenal chemistry.

This is in almost all of their plays, excelled through fantastic writing and stellar performances driving the overall quality. And it inspired me not only to review each musical, but also ranking them all from worst to best. Or, more accurately, least good to most good. Because even at their "worst," Starkid still provides a funny, enjoyable experience that will keep you laughing with its comedy and your toes tapping with its catchy music. So strap in as I go in-depth into how Starkid proves how they are the masters of humor and melody.

(I'll also provide links to each musical, which is all for free on YouTube, so you can check them out yourselves. Just know that their early work is impossible to enjoy without subtitles, so you might want to have Closed Captions on when watching.)

#12-Holy Musical B@man-Everything about this play makes it seem like it's the weakest to me. The jokes, songs, and characters in Holy Musical B@tman just don't hit as hard as Starkid's other plays. It's still good, but compared to their best, the cracks show a lot more. That is, except for the ending. Not only is there a great speech that shows what makes superheroes so beloved, but "Super Friends" might just be my favorite finale song Starkid has ever put out. Holy Musical B@tman may not be the best, but it's at least worth the time.

#11-Firebringer-This was stupid. Really stupid. Funny as f**k, but still pretty stupid. Although I will give credit to one of the central pairings being LGBTQA+...Even though it makes little to no sense based on the characters' previous interactions. But in fairness, Starkid really sucks at writing good romantic relationships, so at least Firebringer has the benefit of being gay. And as we all know: The gayer, the better. The play is still stupid, though.

#10-Me and My Dick-The world in this musical makes little to no sense. Penises and vaginas are sentient and can communicate with their humans. And yet the penises and vaginas can also talk with each other, form relationships, leave their humans, and reinsert themselves into others--Yeah, it makes no sense...But, DAMN, is it funny! Every joke and innuendo Me and My Dick has about human anatomy works, and I could not stop laughing at each of them. Especially the names that were given to the vaginas, which are just...I mean, I'm laughing just by thinking about them. That should tell you how funny they are. This play might be illogical in every way, but if you turn your brain off and watch it for the humor, you'll definitely be in for something fun.

#9-ANI: A Parody-What's weird about ANI is that its best qualities are also weaknesses. A good chunk of the jokes are hilarious and expertly delivered. The issue is that most of them are about taking potshots at the Star Wars prequels, which might be the laziest jokes to make in a Star Wars parody. Then there's the soundtrack, having several songs that are a bop to listen to. The problem is that ANI suffers from the same issues as Tarzan and Brother Bear: Yes, technically, it is a musical, but it's one where none of the characters sing, and some people in the background do all the singing instead. It's all an odd balancing act of quality content made through questionable choices. ANI is still an entertaining play, but the force isn't as strong with this one.

#8-Black Friday-This might be the least funny play that Starkid has ever put out. Not just because it leans extra hard into drama, which was pretty effective during certain scenes. It's just when there are jokes in Black Friday, they tend to fall flatter more here than they did in other plays. Also, the plot of Black Friday might not be the best one to play straight. The serious moments work best when focusing on the characters and their personal struggles, but through the big bad that's supposed to be threatening? Not so much. Even if it was meant to be funny, well, I wasn't laughing. And believe it or not, I consider that to be the best judge of whether or not something is funny. That being said, while Black Friday isn't the most humorous Starkid musical, it's still pretty good. The characters are excellent, the songs are awesome, and the story is somewhat easy to follow. I would have appreciated a few more laughs, but I can respect these talented people wanting to challenge their strengths.

#7-Starship-This play feels very...Disney. It follows a familiar formula we've seen several times: The main character wants more than what he has in his crappy life, miraculously gets the exact thing he wants, falls in love with a girl in a short amount of time, faces off against a campy/over the top villain, realizes the hand he's been dealt isn't so bad, and in the end, gets what he wants anyway. Starship is still pretty entertaining through its jokes, characters, and songs, but it also feels weird that Starkid leans into these tropes when they would eventually make a much better play by making fun of them. The end result is not bad in the slightest, but it's also nowhere near their best.

#6-A Very Potter Musical-Starkid's first production, and boy, what a start to something wonderful. Every one of their gimmicks and motifs is present in A Very Potter Musical. The use of parody to playfully mock characters and stories they love, making songs that are as funny as they are emotional, and creating characters that work because of their lines and the actors' performances. Oh, and also, it's funny. And it’s not just through a parody angle, like making Cedric be a perfect boy who's always smiling. It's also funny through its jokes that work, even if you ignore the fact that it’s a parody altogether. Case in point, there are these two bits, one involving Voldemort and Beatrix with the other involving Ron and Hermoine, that are written and delivered so well that I was in tears much more than with any other Starkid play. When watching A Very Potter Musical, you'll not only understand how parody works, but you'll also gain an understanding of why Starkid turned out as successful as they did.

#5-The Trail to Oregon-What can I say? I'm a sucker for comedic dysfunctional families. And seeing a family of idiots make their way to Oregon via The Oregon Trail parody? Yeah, that's a win for me. The play may be another family road trip narrative, which some people might get sick of at this point. But because the dynamics and comedic chemistry everyone has with each other are on point, the end result proves that you don't need an original story to tell an entertaining one. Although I will say that out of all of Starkid's productions, The Trail to Oregon has by far the worst ending. Without giving anything away, the play spends way too much time on this one stupid joke that any of the characters could make. Comedy is defined by personalities, as are most things, so making the joke work for anyone is a bad move when this one, in particular, doesn't fit as well for some characters as it would for others. Plus, the finale song "Naked in a Lake" is a really poor choice to cap off this musical. It's catchy, but to me, a finale song should encapsulate everything about the story, characters, and themes. Not paying off a joke that I honestly wouldn't want the payoff for. So while the ending could have used a lot more polish, that doesn't change how The Trail to Oregon is a pretty funny play that I won't mind revisiting when I have the chance.

#4-A Very Potter Sequel-Hey, sometimes a sequel is better than the original. Sure some jokes don't land, and some story beats aren't as impactful as they thought they were (Serious Black's introduction, for example), but there are far more improvements to this play than the last one. The performances are stronger, the jokes are funnier, the music is catchier, and the characters are much more entertaining in this play than in A Very Potter Musical. Especially new additions like Lupin and Lucious Malfoy, who provide great comedy and sublime drama at times. And Umbridge. Sweet Mother of all that is holy, Umbridge. While A Very Potter Sequel never made me laugh to tears as the first play did, twice, Professor Umbridge carries the comedy so well that she surpasses all of that. Plus, on top of it all, this play nails its ending through a bittersweet note that really captures what makes Hogwarts so special to these characters. I always feel like Starkid's plays tend to lose steam during the last few minutes, but A Very Potter Sequel is one of the few instances that it just builds and builds to a perfect ending. A Very Potter Sequel might not always hit the right marks, but the results are just magical when it does get it right.

#3-The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals-This one is pretty clever. The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is one of those stories that manages to be explicitly hilarious yet implicitly disturbing. For instance, people suddenly bursting into perfectly choreographed musical numbers in a world where songs are exclusively diegetic is pretty funny (especially through the characters' reactions to it). However, knowing what happens to these people and why they sing and dance so expertly helps make the whole situation pretty dire. It's an excellent balancing act that not many stories can accomplish. And while The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals leans one way or the other at times, it's still all handled really well. Oh, and also, you know how most people say the villain song is the best one in any musical? Well, technically speaking, nearly every song in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is the villain song. Including the finale, which is just too brilliant for me not to give a round of applause. If you're a person who unfortunately doesn't like musicals either, I'd say be more than willing to give this one a chance. It's funny, catchy, and if you think of the implications, pretty damn disturbing.

#2-A Very Potter Senior Year-...You know how Avengers: Endgame is a bit of a mess, yet people still love it for how much of a perfect (sort of) finale it is? It's the same regard with A Very Potter Senior Year in my eyes. It's far from a masterpiece, but the many, many solid scenes that cap off this series help make me willing to overlook the mistakes. The characters, callbacks, and overall message about how things end was done so expertly well that I physically can’t hate this one. I can understand how it's more of an ok play when compared to the rest of Starkid's productions, but sometimes, ok is wonderful.

#1-Twisted: An Untold Story of a Royal Vizier-...It's Twisted. Everyone loves Twisted! And how could they not? Everything about this play just screams Starkid at their best. The comedy is uproarious, added with the fantastic delivery of the actors and the characters' personalities. Everyone feels as though they have one step in reality and the other in insanity. This, to me, seems like the best type of character work when going for the parody angle. Parody is about giving slight yet snide remarks toward the work you're mocking, which I feel works best when characters drop the suspension of disbelief audiences have when enjoying such a story. And Twisted definitely nails its satire in not only poking fun at Aladdin but also making jokes towards Disney as a brand. From their movies to their inside jokes to their formulas to even their corporate dealings with Pixar, nothing about Disney is sacred in Twisted. But on top of being funny, Twisted might just be the most successful Starkid has been with telling some really compelling drama. The jokes allow themselves to take a back seat to let serious moments play out, and even comedy is added, it provides more for the experience rather than taking anything away. You see this not only through the actors giving it their all but even through some really gorgeous and heart wrenching musical numbers. Oh, and also, Twisted has the best Starkid soundtrack, featuring songs that are epic, funny, and, as I said, heartbreaking. You cannot get better than this and, if you want to get a friend interested in Starkid as a whole, this might be the play for them. Scheherazade may have a thousand tales, but his one is a tale I wouldn't mind hearing for a thousand nights.

And that's about how I feel about Starkid and each and every one of their plays. Odds are your ranking would be much different from mine, and I'm all for that differing opinions. Feel free to make your own ranking if you want because I'm honestly curious where fans would place these plays above or below others. I'm relatively new to enjoying their work, so I have no idea what the consensus is. I do know one thing, though: If Starkid can still be incredibly entertaining through over ten years of content, then I am excited to see what they can accomplish next in another ten years.

[kendrixtermina]

Appreciating the Range of Type 6, or, one stereotypical example, and three that aren’t.

I want to tell you about some type 6 ppl that I know in my personal life.

Exemplar #1: F. B.

Complete Stats

Wing: 5 p or cp: largely phobic – lots of safety worries, outright authoritarian follower personality Instinct: sp/soc Trifix: 613  - 6w5 1w2 3w2 (“The Taskmaster” or “The Middle Manager”) jungian: ISTJ / SLI-Te oldham: Conscientious & Aggressive Essence Type: Mars Temperament: Pure Choleric

What he’s like:

Not pleasant.

Every “strict conservative middle aged guy” stereotype in the book. Control freak, makes a mountain out of every molehill, sees the world as full of axe murderers, judgemental as fuck, horrible temper and yet completely impersonable, all his opinions are copypasted from right-wing news sites. When they say war is good he’s for war, and when they say war is bad he’ll be like “At least Trump did not start any more wars” without perceiving a contradiction. Despite this, he believes is very hot, principled and funny. He is none of these things. He puts people down nonstop. My knowledge of neurochemistry tells me that he must have emotions somewhere or he couldn’t function, but I ain’t ever seen a single one of those emotions. They’re all for his job and a few trusted mentor figures. And his mom. At least he loved her.

If you say anything he doesn’t like, he “throws the sofa out the window” as his wife once put it.

How he’s a Type 6:

Well, he’s pretty much every negative stereotype in a nutshell… other than distrusting his partner. But that might be cause hes sx blind, or cause the wife is big on monogamy & wouldn’t ever cheat.

The one positive trait of 6 that he has is that he does his research. Before moving anywhere he googles the crime rates and if you need a doctor he might find you the best one. But even that can be overriden by ideology (hydroxychloroquine!). And if you don’t take his exact advice, there goes the sofa out the window again…

And I guess the work ethic from all 3 parts of the trifix really comes through – he hasn’t had a single bad grade in his life and always keeps collecting new certifications, and will make sure you hear about it...

Exemplar #2: I.

Complete Stats

Wing: 5 P or cp: pretty much an even mix of phobic and counterphobic Instinct: sp/soc Trifix: 614 - 6w5 1w2 4w3 (Would prolly call herself “The Big Pain” rather than “The Philosopher” ^^°) jungian: INTJ / ILI-Ni oldham: Serious & Conscientious Essence Type: Saturn Temperament: Chlor-Mel

What she’s like:

I’d describe her as serious, mature, discerning, focused and passionate about her friendships, if perhaps somewhat forceful at times, with a dry, sarcastic sense of humor.

Comes across like someone who knows what she’s talking about, with well-articulated points.

Often the Responsible Sibling, Designated Sanity Checker or Bullshit Detector.

Prefers to plan everything in advance in typical Ni dom fashion, even amusement part trips. Gets somewhat anxious without a future plan or shedule.

Often mistaken for a whole lot more sociable and confident that she really feels inside. (even I kinda bought it and got her whole darn trifix wrong on my first typing attempt, though that was when I was new to typology) She can act the boss act temporarily to get the situation over with, but she actually hates making decisions.

She does however have the occasional cute/pure moment where that lower function block comes out.

How she’s a Type 6:

She has saved our family from many a terrible restaurant by making sure to check the reviews. The preparing for all possible dangers is very 6, the acting tough outwardly when youre inwardly anxious, the intellectual problem solving & some tendency towards organization/responsibility/ “logistic” intelligence.

One online test she took gave her 5w6 instead of 6w5 but that’s probably just the ITxx-ness leaking in. I remember this one time we were discussing this artsy-fartsy theater play to which we’d had fascinatingly different reactions, and at one point I half-jokingly said something like “But does anyone ever really feel connected to others, or is that a myth?” to which she wrote, “[Name], what the fuck? Yes I do.” and then immediately deleted it. That’s more of a 6 reaction innit?

Nonetheless the wing does feature in significantly – for example she got very well informed about a lot of topics because she researched them to assuage a random survival-related fear, like, “How to make sure I have enough retirement money”

Exemplar #3: M.

Complete Stats

Wing: 7 p or cp: largely phobic Instinct: sp/sx Trifix: 692 - 6w7 9w1 2w1 (Fortunately very much a “Good Samaritan” rather than “The Stockholm”) jungian: ISFP / SEI-Fi oldham: Sensitive & Devoted Essence Type: Lunar-Venus Temperament: Pure Supine

What she’s like:

Precious! Sweet, nice, good listener, friendly, gives all the best gifts. But also perceptive and good at understanding people, eg. mediating to the parents when one of the younger sisters is having An Emotion™ or winning the trust of problem children.

Unlike I. Who has some soc that helps her keep track of a larger circle of friends despite her introversion, M. tends to enjoy the closeness with her family and have just a few very close friends. Excellent friend material all around! The sx and Se also come out in enjoying art forms involving the body like theatre or dance.

She can be a bit shy, conflict-avoidant and occasionally a lil bit panicky though.

As a small kid she used to be super duper shy but then a wise english teacher encouraged her to play a big role in a play, and since then she’s a lot more confident and doesn’t let ppl push her around without limit, though she’s still a quiet, helpful person. There you see the difference that a good teacher can make.

How she’s a Type 6:

For one thing she moves and emotes faster than a core 9 would, and she fits the body language – big eyes that move around a lot, stands a bit lopsided, talks in a shrill voice on the rare occasions where we exhaust her patience etc. As a xSFx and a w7 she shows mostly the “warm, friendly, likeable” side of type 6. She also has a very 6-ish tendency to very frequently ask people’s opinions & feedback before making decisions. (the other fixes probably add to this)

Alas, she also has a little bit of of the fear/insecurity.

Also she has a social/care job which might be seen as 6-ish desire to serve the community.

Exemplar #4: J.

Complete Stats

Wing: 7 P or cp: largely counterphobic Instinct: sx/soc ?? definitely not sp first. Trifix: 638 - 6w7 3w4 8w9(?) (Shall she be a “Justice Fighter” or a “Kyle”? Only time will tell.) jungian: ISTP / LSI-Se ?? Oldham: ? some Dramatic & Serious, perhaps ? Essence Type: Definitely Mercury Temperament: San-Mel

What she’s like:

The first adjective that usually comes to my mind is ‘cool’. Sassy, energetic & a little bit tough, but also affectionate when she wants to be. (though in admiring way rather than a mushy one)

She says the coolest things, has a certain sly sort of cleverness, and an astonishly good poker face. Bit of an occasional prankster. Hilarious. Knows all sort of cool science facts. Avid gamer. 

Not especially popular or over the top sociable, but she gets sad if no one pays attention to her a while. Will act visibly moody where ppl can see sad or worried and can catastrophize a bit in such situations.

How she’s a Type 6:

I first though we might be getting an ExxP type 7 since she was a pretty energetic child, but once puberty hit and independent thought manifested, she turned out a whole lot too reactive and ‘edgy’ for this, and more on the ‘moderate introvert’ side of things.

Since then the sisterly dynamic has been like one fluffy golden dog and 3 hissing black cats. Hissing Cats #1 and #2 are very proud of her, but cat #1 was forced to conclude that she’s probably not a positive outlook type.

Out of all the reactive types 6 fits best because she does broadcast group identity (like wearing merchandise of her favorite media and wearing buttons in solidarity with ppl she likes.) & has a big case of Big Sibling worship for M, I, and someone else who isn’t on this list due to being a 9. (a 4 or 8 might like their older siblings but probably wouldn’t constantly stress the admiration.), but she can also show lasting, pouty displeasure with authority figures who have slighted her. (Like that one time I went too far in teasing her...)

I’m just assuming the 8 fix because that tends to make 6s more bold, louder & more shameless.

Basically she is the “punk teen” type of 6. She can be a bit dramatic & over-the top but still come to her family on advice (even advice on pranks!) in ways that xSTPs of other enneagrams prolly wouldn’t.

She also tends to use self-deprecating humor in tough situations and deflects compliments to present herself as ‘ordinary’.

...

This may sound like I’m really getting down on my first example (I won’t pretend that I’m not) but the point in bringing him up is that the reason he’s like this is: He was subject to really bad parenting that put a lot of fear into him, there was no good parenting to teach him broader coping strategies, he lived in a crappy environment that crushed his dreams, in a sense ‘confirming’ those fears and making him double down, resulting in a person who is just always rigidly following the same predictable pattern or jumping from one automatic reaction to the next with very little pausing and thinking. That goes for the other types too: A ‘stereotypical’ person is a desperate person ruled by fear, who cant stop or soften up even for an instant cause they constantly feel this fire of threat under their arse.

A lot of descriptions say that 6s ‘Follow authority’ but most would balk at the notion – ‘I do the research!’ they might argue ‘I don’t just trust anyone’ or ‘I’m actually a rebel’. There is of course such a thing as denial  that’s more like the extreme case.

But with a more average, functional 6 it’s not so much ‘obedience’ as that they just like to bounce their ideas off of others to get feedback, or that they feature in other’s viewpoints. So you might get someone who can naturally use feedback (something other ppl may have to learn first) or who is very considerate of others (which others might have to consciously remind themselves to do.)

Those are sometimes pretty good traits actually.

On the other hand this is probably part of what makes decisions hard cause they consider all these possible scenarios of how things might displease or cause harm to everyone involved.

Being able to naturally snap into Action Mode under stress looks a bit enviable from the outside, but I. assures me that it’s actually super stressful & exhausting, even for someone who doesn’t get to a point of just being unreasonably aggro at you.

Though even an extreme case like F.B. would probably claim that he ‘did the research’ even as he’s 1:1 quoting the Pope at you, and then saying that you ‘have to be respectful’ even if you don’t even believe in Christianity. Hence why you get a lot of authoritarians talking about “disrespect”. You didn’t “fail to obey”, you “disrespected the flag” or  “hurt the feelings of the Chinese people”. Because they’re still trying or inwardly thinking that they’re doing the consideritation & considering other’s PoV thing when they’ve long since crossed from respect and consideration into mindless obedience, all while still thinking that they’re very sceptical and discerning cause after all they really distrust the other political party or whatever.  

In a way you get this obsession with ‘mind control’ cause they’re not unaware of & very much looking to guard the blind spot. They’re adults trying to do adult things.

For example, if I voiced an opinion to F. B. which he didn’t like, his reaction was often to ask “who told you that”

That’s just how he seems to think opinions work, somebody tells them to you.

Makes one wonder how he thinks new opinions start.

Yeah - Nobody told me that. I concocted it myself in some corner of my head. And in the interest of objectivity, I should stress that you can also end talking out of your ass that way, if you’re not basing it on enough outside data. Making up new shit has more of a quadratic than a linear learning curve – at least with copying you get something semi-useful right away. In making up your own you might be really off a long time before you stumble on something useful.

Also, I was young at the time and it’s not wholly unreasobale to think that an inexperienced person might be duped. I reacted really badly in part cause he hit my own ego buttons cause I was of course proud of this epiphany that I had concocted by myself, and now he says (or so I perceived it, being sensitive to accusations of incompetence) that I’m too dumb to form an opinion, so of course I launched into full Obnoxious Reddit Dude Mode.

In I. It manifests more on a reasonable useful level like “Oh wait, should [young cousin] be on TikTok? I don’t want him to get sucked into some cultish BS.” which is at least something the parents should have on the radar/ warn him about even if they do let him use TikTok, because for all that it is vital for him to get his experience with independent socializing & experimentig with sel-presentation, people do sometimes get suckered into cults or goaded into unsafe tests of courage.

And in a sense… maybe they overamphasize it but to some extent they’re also simply consciously aware/ mindful of it. The rest of us are not immune to propaganda after all, solong as it’s presented in a way pleasing to our egos. Any type structure can become a ‘hook’ if you’re not careful.

[radramblog]

What happened to Dirk in Homestuck^2?

Why am I doing this to myself.

I memed a little yesterday when I was posting that article around social medias about Homestuck jokes, because once again we are in lockdown and I am therefore Stuck at Home. Canned laughter goes here. But there’s a topic related to the comic- or more specifically, its aborted sequel, Homestuck^2, that I’m interested in delving into a little bit. I’m going to avoid talking about spoilers as much as possible, but considering said comic takes place not only after the events of the massive sprawl that is Homestuck but also the more linear but still messy Epilogues, some amount of sus shit is inevitable.

Anyway. Much maligned is what the Epilogues and 2 did to everyone’s favourite decapitation target, Dirk Strider, and I have a theory as to why it happened this way.

To begin with, let’s summarise what and who Dirk is through the course of the comics. Fair warning from me, though, it’s been a while since I read through this.

Dirk Strider is a teenager who grew up in a post-apocalyptic future Earth, completely devoid of physical contact with other people and only really ever gets to talk to 3 other people, only one of whom is in anything remotely resembling a relatable situation. He struggles with self-identity, having created numerous robots including an artificial intelligence based on his own brain, aka Lil’ Hal. He’s somewhat of a control freak, and a bit of a cold aloof asshole, but means well, and is pretty gay. NBD. The kinda guy to set up a plan meticulously and thoroughly, not informing any of the moving parts even if said parts are his friends, and often involving some form of self-sacrifice.

Throughout the comic he further reckons with self-identity problems and his own self-loathing including entering a relationship with Jake which doesn’t go well and he eventually breaks off since he knows his overbearing and manipulative behaviour is Not Cool and Pretty Toxic but doesn’t know how to shut it off. Eventually he reaches the God Tier as a Prince of Heart, gaining the power to literally annihilate souls, which he never actually uses since he gets yeeted into deep (Paradox) space and then everything goes to shit. Except none of that happens because of the Retcon (aside from the God Tier bit) and we don’t actually see how that shit progressed in the canon timeline. I think. Dirk’s arc, as it were, doesn’t really come full circle- while he does assist in Dave’s character…growth? he really isn’t the focus of that conversation. This immediately precedes the action climax and there isn’t literally any dialogue after that so that’s what we’re left with.

I like Dirk in Homestuck a lot. It’s hard not to, considering the flashes heavily featuring him (Unite/Synchronise and Prince of Heart: Rise Up) are genuinely excellent, along with many of his music themes being absolute bangers. He gets to interact with Caliborn a lot, with a pretty great banter, there, and the whole splintered personality thing is a really interesting hook for a character. I think he’s my favourite of the Alpha kids, a controversial pick considering I know everyone loves Roxy so much. I think, I’m not as in tune with the fandom as that statement implies I am.

And then the Epilogues/Homestuck 2 came.

Now I read the Meat half of the epilogues first, but that’s more interesting, so we’ll tackle Candy first (this is going to get real confusing for those who haven’t read this comic, huh).

In Candy, Dirk almost immediately kills himself, citing the irrelevance of the timeline as cause, an act considered by whatever mechanism governs God Tier deaths to be Just because he hates himself (and also bc of things we’ll get into), so it actually sticks. This isn’t super relevant for the discussion, but that’s just kinda so unbelievably fucked up? Entirely? I’d imagine if you read Candy first you might get entirely turned off by this, which I’m sure a lot of people did.

Meat is where the, well, meat of post-canon Dirk is. You see, a concept very quickly introduced in the tail end of the original comic is the Ultimate Self, an idea where you somehow encompass every different timeline iteration or alternate version of yourself. This was pretty clearly tacked on to make it so characters whose arcs all happened in the retcon timeline could have their not getting an actual arc explained away, but it didn’t land then and it sure doesn’t land for me now. Anyway, in Meat, Dirk becomes his ultimate self, making him near-omniscient and able to control the fabric of the story himself- for much of this story, he is the narrator. And he uses this power to fuck with all his friends really distressingly without their knowledge (or consent), including breaking up a marriage, in order to further his own goals which largely appear to be just keep the story going so to not fade out of relevance. It’s a plot that makes no sense with his previous characterisation, but I guess now that he’s the Ultimate Self he’s a different person? But I liked old Dirk, and I don’t like New Dirk. He’s a villain now, but he made a much better anti-hero.

But this would be fine if he (or the epilogues, or Homestuck^2) were written well. But they aren’t. Dirk’s dialogue is long, painfully drawn out, with tangents that tend to amount to pure wank, misused literary references and pointless metaphors that go on and on, filling the screen with a bright orange screed that hurts to look at as much as it does to comprehend. It’s not fun. And we’ve seen Dirk communicate before, obviously, the story of Homestuck is built around chatlogs, but it wasn’t like this. He was sarcastic, dryly witty, blunt at times. Even when he was literally talking to a different version of himself it didn’t get that masturbatory.

I was so confused about what the hell happened to Dirk, because I had no idea what the hell someone writing this character was thinking when they turned him into this. And then, the 21st page of Homestuck^2 dropped.

And it all came together.

What Ultimate Dirk and Terezi are referring to is Pony Pals: Detective Pony, a children’s book about some girls who hang out with ponies and solve a mystery. It’s a real book, buy it for your 5-year-old.

Except they’re not referring to that, they’re referring to the Homestuck Canon version of Detective Pony- a birthday gift from Dirk to Jane, heavily edited and to be much more obscene and eventually developing into it’s own story, stated to be “tough, emotionally draining, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible”.

Except the quote “Remember Longcat, Jane?” and references to philosophy, dead languages, and ancient earth culture aren’t referring to the three pages of the Dirk-edited Detective Pony we see in the actual comic itself. That quote doesn’t appear there.

That image is from Detective Pony, by Sonnetstuck- the 40,000 word fanfiction from 2014 that serves as a completed version of Jane’s copy of the book. An expansion of what we see in canon. And it’s a tough, emotionally draining read, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible.

It’s a very good fanfiction.

In the later bits of Detective Pony, we can start to see the origins of what would become Ultimate Dirk’s signature style of writing. Long blocks of rambling text, orange dripping down the page, references to philosophy and history and language that go on and on. And it probably does look familiar to those who read the Epilogues and ^2. 

But there are a couple of key differences here. First of all, it’s just better written? The way these rambles circle back on themselves is so excellent, the absolute absurdity of this being written on top of a pony book for little girls, the humour (beyond some of the more immature stuff), it’s just a really well-written piece of fiction. Hell, you don’t even need to be familiar with the character of Dirk to enjoy it. It’s a harrowing piece, but it’s also self-aware- because it’s not supposed to be tough, draining, cathartic etc. just for Jane- it’s clearly that for Dirk himself.

The second part is, of course, that this is a fanfiction. It’s not canon, it’s not official, this is by someone who really likes Dirk for people who really like Dirk. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, so if you bounce off it (and I’m sure a lot did), then you don’t have to keep reading it, it’s fine, thanks for playing. As much as Homestuck^2 tried to doll itself up as “dubiously canon” it’s still the official continuation of the story, and that means if it’s as difficult to get into as Detective Pony, that’s going to be a problem for a lot of people.

The other part of it is that Detective Pony’s exploration of Dirk’s character is, well, in character. When the man himself steps in as a character in his own book, the explorations of what he is as an author, who he is as a person, make perfect sense for what we see of him at the start of the comic. He is that manipulative, blunt person, and he is aware of his faults. He’s the kind of person to hide a lamentation on his own failings inside an impenetrable maze of a story layered on top of a book about fucking ponies. Ultimate Dirk does not act like Dirk, outside of the “manipulator” angle, something that Dirk was aware of and trying to improve in the comic. But I guess people don’t have arcs, right?

It’s so interesting to see the seeds of Homestuck^2 laden within Detective Pony- because the meta angle that and the epilogues take is also represented in said fanfiction. While the nature of canon is a facet of the work, the idea of authors and narrators fighting for control of a story, different ideas in mind for the characters, one being more personally connected to them than the other, it’s all there. When I wrote about Fallout 4 in the past, I mentioned being worried that Bethesda took the wrong lessons from Skyrim- seeing something successful and trying to recapture that lightning in a bottle. I think Homestuck^2 is an extreme example of this- the writers of the comic saw Sonnetstuck’s masterwork and thought, yeah that’s great, we can do that. But they just can’t. And with the comic crashed and burning, the probably won’t ever get a chance to. Dirk is forever stuck as this amalgamation of himself that looks nothing like any individual version of him ever did.

At least we will still have Detective Pony, and many other excellent fanworks, for actually good Dirk content. I admittedly haven’t looked into much fanfic written during/post-epilogues, and I’m kind of afraid of what I’ll see- I can only hope the fanbase didn’t take the same wrong lessons as the official team did.

[ev-pierce-writes]

The Promise

The Heir Chapter 3

Pairing: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 12K

Warnings: I can't even remember.

Note: Oof its been a while sorry

___

The council meeting was where everything started to go wrong. The members of the Neutral Systems were always dismissive and condescending toward you, but the presence of the Mandalorian made it worse.

"These people are not easy to convince, Din," you warned him before stepping into the meeting. "I don't know what your plan for Mandalore is but you are either about to make great allies or terrible enemies."

"I'll follow your lead," he said.

"You brought him here?" General Tarrow questioned incredulously the moment you appeared.

"Is there a problem with that?" you countered. Din sat silently beside you, helmet on, surveying the situation.

"You were always one to flirt with danger, Your Majesty. But I never expected you to court the enemy," Prince Cornith, representative of the Angor system, said. You hated his smug smile and arrogant posture. And his implication stoked an anger in your chest.

"And yet I'm not surprised at your apparent prejudice towards someone you've never met. The Mandalorian is not an enemy. He's an ally in need of assistance to fight for his people."

"How are you expecting this to play out? A little catfight amongst warrior clans who know nothing but to fight?" the General asked. A wave of laughter spread through the representatives. You did not join in.

"My people have seen Bo-Katan on Mandalore. She's gathering the people around her. Readying for battle. She needs to be stopped before this escalates and it spills over into other systems."

"So what you're saying is to prepare for war?" General Tarrow's questioned, jumping to a fairly major conclusion.

"I'm saying we need to be prepared for the possibility of one good Mandalorian having to face a hundred bad ones."

"Why should we even get involved in this? This guy can't be trusted," Cornith said, pointing an accusing finger at Din. "Take off the ridiculous helmet and then we'll see for real. Maybe he's a deformed monster under it all."

You bristled against the blatant insult but managed to remain collected. The Prince enjoyed getting a rise out of you and you knew no one would stand up for you if you fired back.

"If the wrong person ends up on the throne, and Mandalore returns to its militaristic ways, they will encroach on your territory. They used to control entire systems. Bo-Katan can and will take yours."

"We are prepared to deal with that if it happens."

"When it happens, General, it will be too late. None of us are a match for a well-organized Mandalorian army. We need to get ahead of this."

"Who's to say he's even the one we should be backing? We are the Neutral Systems for a reason. We don't take sides."

"Djarin is a good man. I trust him. Societies don't rebuild themselves overnight. We need to lay the right bricks now to build a foundation that won't just fall apart and take the whole structure with it. Djarin is the one to do that."

"I hate to argue with you, Your Majesty--" This was a lie. The Prince loved to argue. "--but I'm afraid your judgment is clouded by your shared history with Mandalore."

"And I'm afraid your judgment is clouded by your selfishness, Prince Cornith."

He stood. "I act only with my people's best interests at heart."

"As do I." You stood as well and stared the Prince down. General Tarrow watched the interaction from his seat, just as distrustful as Cornith but less vocal.

"What happens if Bo-Katan does take control and finds out we've been going behind her back to form an alliance?" Cornith said. "The rest of us are done for. Nhora might have the firepower to protect herself, but we don't."

In a way he was right. If this failed, everyone, including Nhora, would take the heat. Din had remained silent the entire time, unsure if he was even allowed to speak. But finally, he did. "You're right. I can't ask you to put your people on the line. All I can ask is that when the time comes you will support my people and their wishes. I just-- I want to protect my family. You can understand that right?"

Cornith eyed Din with distrust and then shook his head. "I'm out. Whatever deal you're going to try to make, I won't get involved."

"Can you at least promise not to align yourself with Bo-Katan?" you pleaded.

He sighed, almost apologetically. "I'm sorry, but I can't take that risk. I'll do what I think is best to protect my people. I'm out."

Cornith's hologram flickered and then disappeared. Two others followed, leaving only you and General Tarrow. And though he still hesitated, Din's words had appeared to make a dent in the tough General's shell. If he wasn't going to listen to you at least he would listen to Din. He sat up and leaned forward, completely ignoring you when he spoke and looking only at the Mandalorian.

"How many soldiers are we talking? How many will it take for this little operation of yours."

"Six," Din said.

"Six?" both you and the General exclaimed at the same time.

"At most."

"And here I thought we were arguing over hundreds. Six we can manage." That was far fewer than either of you were expecting. Din hadn't explained to you what his plan was yet. And if he was being honest, he wasn't quite sure himself. But this was a start.

"You do realize what you are up against, Mando," you questioned. "She'll be expecting you to make a move."

"I once took out an Imp base with fewer than that. Bo-Katan doesn't want a war. She needs to defeat me in battle, fairly, to regain the saber. I just need to get in."

"And then what? Kill or be killed?" The thought made your heart constrict.

"I hope not. But probably."

The room fell quiet at the gravity of his words.

"I'm going with you," Zena said abruptly. She had remained silent throughout the meeting but now spoke with determination.

"Absolutely not," Din said. "No offense but I need trained warriors for this."

You could tell by the look on Zena's face that she'd already made up her mind. "It wasn't a question, Mando," she said. "I'm the best warrior on this planet and I'm going with you."

Din was silent. "Okay," he consented, though sounding a bit taken aback. "That's one. I'll need that Jedi too, Skywalker."

"Good luck finding him," the General said. "I'll discuss this with my Lieutenants. We'll see about filling out your team. But I'm not making any promises, Mando. And you're going to have to deal with the consequences of the Angor system potentially aligning with Bo-Katan. Prince Cornith will follow whoever offers him the best price."

And then the General was gone as well. You sighed, finally able to let down the hardened exterior you had put up for the council meeting. "That did not go as well as I'd hoped."

"I hate that Angor guy," Zena said with a huff.

"Me too. Eyed you like a slab of meat," Din said quietly. It was the harshest language you'd ever heard out of his mouth, almost protective of you. But he moved on quickly. "I was expecting the worst. At least we might have the General. I have a...friend on the inside as well. But I'll need help getting in contact with her."

"I'll take care of that," you said, sinking deeper in your chair, now only thinking that Din's plan might be a suicide mission. Din followed your movements, noticing the stress that radiated from you in waves. You'd taken quite the verbal berating from the council. He wanted to reach out and ease your worry the way he had last night but was too conscious of Zena's watchful eye. So he settled on speaking.

"You can back out," he said. His words caught you off guard. "I can go forward without you. You don't need to put your people on the line like this."

"Too late for that, Mando," Zena said, answering for you. "Once she makes up her mind there's no going back."

---

Zena was right. Your mind was made up. You were suspiciously silent through the rest of the morning's meetings and disappeared directly afterward to your chambers, reappearing again only for lunch. You were planning, turning things over in your mind, wondering how best to move forward. The next logical step seemed to wait on the reappearance of the Jedi and his ward.

Din noticed it all, the concentrated look on your face, your abnormal silence. He wanted to draw you out of your shell, tell you it would be alright, but he didn't know how. So he focused on Zena.

"I didn't know you could fight," he said to her. Zena had offered to give him a tour of the grounds of the palace, and you trailed along behind, eager for a distraction from the stressful morning. The three of you had come upon the sparring grounds, piquing Din's curiosity.

"I come from the longest line of warriors on Nhora," she said. "My mother, her mother, her mother... Not that they passed on anything cool like beskar armor. Is it all beskar?"

"Yes. Though mine wasn't passed on either. I got it through more... dubious means."

"And that? Also beskar?" Zena motioned to the staff on Din's back, topped with a sharp spearhead.

Din unclipped the staff from his back and handed it to her with surprising trust. She took it gingerly, feeling out the balance in her hands. "It's very light. Do you fight with this?"

"Is that a challenge, Zena?"

"Hah, I could take you, Mando. You want to go a round?"

Din didn't need to be asked twice. He was eager to see how your royal advisor fared one on one.

You stood above them on the observation ledge of the sparring grounds, watching as they faced each other below, knowing this would be a good fight.

Zena tapped the staff against the ground. "Where's your weapon, Mando?"

"No weapon. Wouldn't want to give you an unfair disadvantage." Though Zena took those words as a challenge they were not said arrogantly. Din's cool confidence was built on experience and success.

But Din was not prepared for what he would get hit with next. Specifically what Zena hit him with next. Zena struck out with the first blow, slamming the staff in a dangerously accurate hit to the side of his head. The beskar sent vibrations through his helmet and he stumbled back in surprise. Taking advantage of his disorientation Zena dealt a second blow with her foot to his side, and Din gasped, bending over in pain. He'd forgotten about rule one, never underestimate your opponent. And rule number two, no distractions. Having you as an audience was a damn good one.

Zena lunged again, though this time Din was ready, taking hold with his gloved hands of the staff and hauling her forward. But Zena anticipated the attack and counterbalanced, shifting her weight down and using the staff as a lever to launch him onto his back.

Din landed with a groan on the ground. Watching a Mandalorian get his ass kicked by your advisor was a very sufficient diversion.

"Unfair disadvantage, Mando? You seem to be the one at a disadvantage," Zena taunted as Din hauled himself to his feet. "Perhaps you're distracted by a pretty woman on your mind."

"We both know you're trying to impress her too."

Your heart began to flutter. He was trying to impress you.

"Ah yes, but the difference is I've already impressed her. You are behind."

That comment finally got to him. Din struck next, easily knocking the staff from Zena's hands and pinning her arms behind her back to immobilize her upper body. The staff went clattering to the ground. But it wasn't the end for your advisor. She kicked out her legs and took both her and Din to the floor, reaching out and taking hold of the staff to swing at his head. Din rolled out of the way, but not without having to relinquish his hold on Zena. She lept to her feet gracefully and lashed out her leg, planting a solid and swift kick to one of Din's pauldrons, sending him back to the floor.

"You should really work on your hand-to-hand combat, Din Djarin. I expected better from a lifelong warrior."

"I'm good enough to get by," Din said with a huff, finally making his way to his feet again.

"Good enough isn't good enough, Mando. You need to be better. The best."

"Fine, if you want a fair fight, you'll get one." Din pulled something from his belt. It was hard to tell what it was, just an oblong object in his hand. But then he pressed a button and the full length of it emerged, glowing and humming with electricity. The Darksaber.

"So when I defeat you, does that mean I'm the new Mand'alor?"

Zena was taking the appearance of the most powerful handheld weapon in the galaxy in stride.

"If you win, yes. But you're not going to."

The saber met the staff with a crash, sending reverberations across the sparring grounds. You felt a jolt of electricity spread over your skin, vibrating your body down to the core. Din suddenly took on a new appearance, powerful, intense, confident. The shift was small but compelling and you thought perhaps the vibrations spreading through your body were not just from the force of the saber.

Din attacked again, forcing Zena backward in a fight that had taken on a new energy. Zena was skilled and agile. She anticipated Din's every move and blocked his strikes. But she was no match to the Darksaber in Din's hands and found herself forced to step back with each blow until she was up against the wall. The staff narrowly prevented the loss of her head.

"How about now, ready to tap out?"

Zena held up a fist in response, letting him know she knew she was done for.

"I take that back. You are good."

In an instant, the Darksaber was gone again, just a hilt in his hands. "No, the Darksaber is good. You were right. I could use some practice. And I wouldn't mind getting it from the best around."

Zena laughed.

"I train at dawn. See you there, metalhead." With an affectionate rap of her knuckles on his helmet, she handed Din back the staff. "I've got work to do. Perhaps Her Majesty could finish the tour."

She bowed toward you with a dubious smile and exited the sparring grounds, leaving you alone with Din. You walked down the stairs and met him in the center of the ring, the power of the Darksaber leaving your skin vibrating slightly with its intensity.

"So, did it work?" Din asked, his tone level and unreadable.

"Did what work?"

"Did I impress you."

You couldn't suppress the shy smile that danced across your lips. "The Darksaber certainly did."

It wasn't the answer Din had hoped for, but he'd broken your silence, which was enough for him. Without Zena around to watch you, he felt a bit more emboldened to pursue your fleeting smile.

"Give me your hand," he said, voice still serious.

"Why?"

"Just--" He didn't wait. Din grabbed your left hand and placed the Darksaber in it, wrapping your fingers around it with his own. "Point it away from your face. And anything else you value. Then press right here when you're ready."

The Darksaber was in your hand. You stood frozen in shock, unsure of what to make of this gesture. Din was putting his most valuable, and most controversial, possession under your control.

"Go on. I know you want to."

"Are you sure I'm allowed to?"

Din shrugged. "I don't really care. I didn't ask for the thing."

You took a deep breath and then held your arm out from your side, worried you would accidentally slice your own leg off. But Din was right. You wanted to. Another breath and then--

Vroom. The shaft of the saber extended from its hilt with a jolt and you took an involuntary step back. The glow was even brighter up close, and if you listened carefully you could hear the crackle of electricity. You weren't sure why you'd expected it to be heavy, it seemed such a heavy object, carrying the weight of a people and a planet within it. But it wasn't.

Din stepped behind you, you thought to get out of the way of your swing, but then he placed a hand on your hip, showing you how to plant your feet and stabilize you. The left reached out and wrapped around yours.

"Ready?" he asked, his voice soft and guiding in your ear. Oh Maker, he was so close that you could feel his beskar armor against your back. The hand on your hip was gentle but strong, grounding you not to the floor but to him. You couldn't speak so you nodded in reply.

Din brought your hand up to your opposite shoulder and then guided it into a swift slash across your body, leaving a flash of white light in its wake that seared your eyes. The air sparkled, electrified. A gasp escaped your mouth at the sheer amount of power you held. But only one thought entered your mind.

"Can I cut something in half?"

Din laughed, in awe that this was your only request. "Sure, as long as it isn't me. Remember to balance yourself in your hips. Keep your feet planted. And maybe use two hands this time."

He released you and you stepped across the grounds toward one of the sparring dummies. Din watched, and though you walked gingerly, a bit wary of the saber, you held your head high. You were more powerful than you thought.

"Sorry, bud. This is for a good cause," you addressed the motionless dummy. Plant your feet, balance in the hips, and two hands on the hilt. Check, check, check. Draw back and slash. The Darksaber sliced straight through the sack of hay and sand, spilling its guts across the floor.

You squealed in delight. "Oh Maker, I think I could get used to this."

The beaming smile on your face lit the world on fire. Din found himself staring not at the mess you'd just made but at your expression of pure joy, glowing white from the light of the Darksaber. He wanted to make you feel like that all the time, he realized.

---

"What are the people like on Mandalore?" you asked, guiding Din around the palace library. It was quiet today, especially between the stacks, as everyone seemed to be enjoying the good weather outside.

Din sighed, unsure how to answer the question. "They need help. But they're stubborn and won't ask."

"Sounds familiar," you said and Din laughed in response. You wished you could see his face at times like these when the conversation flowed easily and he let you tease him.

"You know, some people on Mandalore don't even believe you're real."

"They don't?"

"They think you're a figurehead. A distraction from the real people in charge. That you only show up to make appearances at official functions."

It wasn't that surprising for you to hear. You rarely left the palace and never left the planet. But there was another reason you suspected their disbelief.

"I think I know why," you said.

Din's silence urged you to continue.

"Meet me outside the palace. At four. I'll show you."

When Din stood at the grand doors of the entrance to the palace, he thought for a moment you had forgotten about him up. He was looking for the regal version of you, the version where you wore your extravagant robes and were surrounded by guards. That is not the version that appeared.

Instead, you were dressed modestly, having abandoned your synthsilk robes for brown linen pants. A dark green cape was wrapped around your shoulders, the hood hiding your face, but the heat signature on Din's visor was clearly yours. The transformation was astounding.

Din bowed as you approached. "Your Majesty," he addressed you.

"Stop that, you'll give me away. You should use my real name."

Your real name? He hadn't yet been offered the privilege of that knowledge, and it embarrassed him to discover what an intense reaction the thought of it elicited from him. His heart rate picked up erratically and he thanked the Maker for his helmet to hide the blush on his cheeks.

You leaned in, beckoning with a finger for him to come closer, and whispered to him in a soft voice. Your name. Your real name. It was a beautiful secret, a name all for himself to possess and wrap around his tongue. It suited you, Din thought.

He repeated it back to you, testing out its weight. You liked the way the syllables rolled around his mouth, even through the modulation of his helmet.

"Come on, we'll start at the market first. I have forty hard-earned credits to spend."

Din trailed behind you through the late afternoon crowds, weaving this way and that over bridges and around stalls. There was no way Din would have been able to find his way around, but you knew the place like the back of your hand, following the paved stone paths, recognizing your favorite shopkeepers, and pointing out the best spots.

Once fully immersed in the throng and away from any guards who may have recognized you, you let your hood fall from your head, tilting your face toward the sun and smiling contentedly. Though your face was no different than it always was, you had changed somehow. No one recognized you or even gave you a second glance, other than perhaps to admire the beauty of the sunlight reflecting from your untamed hair. At least, that's what Din was staring at.

And finally he understood, that beneath it all you weren't just a queen, you were any other person who could blend in with the crowd. He was jealous. He wanted to disappear like that.

"Keep up, Mando," you said, and reached out behind you to grab his hand. You did it to prevent him from getting swept up and lost to the swarms of people, but his heart fluttered at the intimacy and ease of the interaction as you pulled him closer.

"Why are there so many people?" he mumbled into your ear as you paused at one of the stalls to take a look.

"Tomorrow's the fertility festival. After the last day of planting the year's crops, everyone celebrates and prays for good yields. The city will be even more packed tomorrow, so the market prepares for the influx of people." You moved on, dragging Din along behind you. "But today is really the day to come. Fewer people and a better selection."

Selection of what? Din almost asked until you pulled him to a stop. Somehow, you were back at that stall Din had noticed during his first trip here, the one with the delicious smelling food that he'd been in too much of a hurry, and too poor, to buy. Din lingered behind you, eyeing the small pastries and steaming bowls of...something. He wasn't exactly sure what. But it still smelled just as amazing as he remembered, even through the filtered sterile air of his helmet.

"I'll take three of those," you said, pointing at the largest pastries on the top row of the display. The woman running the stall silently slid them into a paper bag, completely oblivious to your identity. You loved the liberating feeling of not having anyone call you by your title or even recognize who you truly were.

"And for the Mandalorian?" the woman asked, glancing slightly nervously at Din's hulking shape hovering just behind you.

You turned toward him. "Are you super hungry or just really hungry?" you asked with a grin.

"Oh, no thank you. I can't afford that."

You pulled a stack of credits from your pocket and handed them over, completely ignoring his comment. "We'll take two more fruit pastries and two of the vegetable ones, thank you."

And then you were off again before he could protest, guiding him further away from the palace and into the market. From the top of a bridge, you flagged down one of the canal taxis, stepping down the bank as it slowed to a stop.

"Now where are we going?"

You didn't respond, just pointed at the flat-bottomed boat, indicating for Din to get in. He did as he was told, jumping in easily, and you moved to follow, sitting on the edge of the stone wall to reduce how far you'd have to jump. But Din stopped you with his hands on your hips, lifting you easily with his arms into the boat so that you wouldn't have to jump.

"Where to?" the helmsman said.

You pointed along the canal in the direction opposite of the city. "Just follow on up that way."

"Lady, you're going to hit marsh. I can't go that far without my boat bottoming out."

"Just go until you can't anymore."

The taxi maneuvered up the canal, at first following the stone walls that lined the waters edge. Soon, however, they turned to grass as you left the boundary of the city, the market fading slowly behind you. The man was right. The canal quickly became more of a creek, marsh grasses and reeds growing up around you.

"This is as far as I can take you. Not sure why you'd want to be here, but I'm not coming back so good luck."

How kind. Din helped you out of the boat, a bit wary of your strange plan. There couldn't have been anything out here. But you were scrambling onto the grassy embankment, paper bag of food in tow, and he followed diligently behind.

"I'm starting to think you're a bit crazy," Din teased. He'd roughed it before, and this was by no means roughing it, but he hadn't expected this from you.

"I know what I'm doing, Din. Just follow me."

The ground leveled out, marshes to one side of the creek, a smattering of trees on the other. The two of you walked along the shrinking stream of water, a soft blanket of grass beneath your feet, until you found what you were apparently looking for.

"When I was a kid, I would hide out here. No one could find me."

Din wasn't surprised. The small clearing was absolutely secluded from the rest of the world, the city skyline was gone, the sounds of the market reduced to nothing. Around him, the chirping and croaking of wildlife was the only noise besides the rushing water of the shallow stream. The air was warm today, warmer than it had been in a while, and though the evening was waning, you pulled off your cape and tossed it to the ground.

Without a second thought, you plopped down on the ground next to the stream, back against a tree, and off came your shoes so you could dig your toes into the sandy bank. You opened the paper bag, fishing around for the first pastry. When Din didn't join you, you patted the ground next to you, inviting him to sit.

"You're sure we're safe?"

"Of course we're safe, Din. I know my way around my own planet."

Finally he sat, looking slightly out of place in all his beskar. But he removed his helmet when you handed him one of the vegetable pies, helping him to look a little more relaxed in these unfamiliar surroundings. He leaned back against the thick tree, looking around to better gauge his environment. You, and the planet you called home, never ceased to surprise him.

"Have you ever left?"

"Where? Nhora?"

"Yeah."

You looked up toward the sky where the sun was starting to set, casting an orange and pink glow through the clouds. But you weren't looking for the sunset. You were looking for the moons, already rising.

"There. See the smallest moon, up and to the left?" Din nodded in the direction you pointed. "It's actually the biggest, only it looks small because it's so far away. That's where I was born. But no, otherwise I haven't."

Din nodded solemly and took a bite of the pie. You weren't sure why he'd posed the question and he didn't seem inclined to explain. You watched as he chewed slowly, crumbs from the crust spilling onto his armor. And then his eyes went wide with enjoyment. The soft buttery pastry melted in his mouth, sweetness contrasting with the salty filling.

"Wow, this is delicious."

You smiled in satisfaction. That reaction was all you'd wanted all day, to see him blown away by the things you called home. He finished the first pastry in silence and then held out a hand, asking you wordlessly for another.

"I once visited a planet with no atmosphere," he said abruptly. It was surprising to hear him speak like this, freely, with no prompting. You held your tongue because it was the only way to encourage him to go on. "Then there was the planet where I couldn't stop moving unless I wanted to be someone's lunch."

He paused, thinking. "I know four languages. Aside from basic."

That one was impressive. You realized this was him opening up. Sharing. It made your heart tingle with warmth. Then Din fell into silence, indicating it was your turn.

"I can fly an x-wing," you said after a moment of thinking. "Not very well. But in a pinch. And I've never punched anyone, though I really want to punch that Angor prince sometimes."

"You can try it out on me."

"I think I'd rather not break my hand on your armor," you said with a laugh. What else? "I'm twenty-six years old."

Din took a deep breath. "I don't know how old I am. Maybe thirty-nine. Or forty."

"You look older than that."

Din glanced at you to gauge if you were joking. You were, in fact, joking, a big smile filling the round apples of your cheeks, mouth full of flaky pastry. "Alright, very funny. Your turn."

"I--" Where did you want to take this conversation? Din's presence next to you made you feel comfortable and warm and something about that inclined you to dig deeper, let him in a little more. "I don't know who my father was. Or is, I guess."

Din let out a quiet breath beside you. You were both watching the sunset, not one another, but you didn't have to see his face to feel comforted by his presence. "My parents are definitely dead if that makes you feel any better. No doubt about that."

The admission was a difficult one for him, and he was glad you didn't press any further. But then suddenly your hand was on his leg, gripping his knee tightly and telling him to be quiet.

"What's wrong?"

"Shh!" For a moment Din thought you were in imminent danger, but then he saw no alarm on your face, only excitement. "Don't move," you whispered.

The final light of the sun had dimmed, leaving you surrounded by a deep blue twilight. And yet, you still managed to spot the creature, sitting on a rock across the stream from you. You stood as quietly as possible, moving slowly so as not to scare it away. Without bothering to roll up the legs of your pants you stepped barefooted into the shallow stream, the cool water rushing around your ankles, not yet warmed by the sun of the warming season. But a little cold water wasn't going to stop you from catching the small creature.

Din watched as you bent over slowly and then snatched as quick as lightning, grabbing at something sitting on a rock. When you stood, triumph on your face, he nearly laughed. "What is that?"

"It's a glow frog, remember?"

Of course, he remembered. The animal you'd compared Grogu to. You were grasping the frog firmly but gently, holding it up for Din to see. It was a comical sight, a woman normally so regal and queen-like, shin-deep in marsh water, wild animal in her hands.

"So is the glow part just for kicks or..." The frog was not living up to its name. No glowing in sight.

"Just wait. It takes a second." The sun had fully dipped below the horizon now, the light from the three moons overhead the strongest source in the night sky. But then it happened. The small creature in your hands began to illuminate, green and fluorescent. It started slow, almost imperceptibly, until it shown bright, casting its glow across your face.

And you were right. The resemblance was uncanny. The frog opened its wide mouth, eyes large, and it croaked, surprising you enough into dropping it back into the water. You giggled, and suddenly Din spotted the youthful shine reappearing on your face the way it had the other night in the kitchen.

"They respond to pressure, releasing a chemical when you surprise them. I used to catch them all the time out here. The only downside is this," you said, holding up your hands which now fluoresced as well.

"That doesn't seem healthy."

"Oh, its fine. Look, it just washes off." You rinsed your hands in the water, the green fluorescence washing downstream, most of it coming off, though not all. When you pushed the hair out of your face with a wet hand, you left green glowing streaks behind on your cheeks. You glittered in the moonlight.

Din had never seen you so happy. What happened to you?

"What did you say?"

Oh Maker, he'd said that out loud. He hadn't meant to. And he could tell by the fallen look on your face that you had definitely heard him, only wanted him to repeat it to be sure. Din regretted the words immediately, watching as the joy faded from your face.

"Nothing. Forget it." But it was too late.

You waded back across the stream, a sudden chill running through your body as the night air cooled. You sat heavily, pondering the implications of actually opening up to the man next to you. You'd spent so long trying to bottle up how you felt, pretending it didn't exist, pretending you weren't attracted to him, that the tender gesture of Din replacing your cape around your shoulders forced it all out in one go.

Once you started speaking, you couldn't stop. And he listened.

"I was seven when the Clone Wars finally came to an end. It was a...brutal, destructive end. After my grandmother died, my grandfather came back to visit sometimes. He promised to protect us, even though it went against our customs. Something about Mandalorian creed. I'm sure you understand," you said, gesturing vaguely in Din's direction. "But Nhora seemed safe from the war. I was still living on Lunar Post 3 with the rest of the kids from noble families. It was easier like that, educating us all together in one place."

You took a breath, coming to the hard part.

"I had an older sister, Tia. She was so...perfect. I looked up to her. She was going to be queen and even though she was eleven years older than me she treated me like the only star in the sky." Tears pricked behind your eyes but you kept going, kept yourself steady by gazing up at the sky. "She and my mother came to visit for my birthday. It was the last trip she would make before her coronation. But everything went wrong. I don't remember it well, but when the explosions hit there was no one there to protect us, not the guards, and especially not my grandfather. The first one killed my mother. Tia died in the second, shielding me.

"The blasts were meant for me and the other noble children, the second borns, the replaceables, the one's who could be eliminated and then played like a bargaining chip to force my mother's hand to help the Independent Systems. I didn't understand. I'll never understand. I was too young. But instead they took out the royal line and left only me. And so began eleven years of non-stop training for a position I was not born to have. I wanted to escape so badly, to any planet as long as it wasn't this one, just to mourn them even. But this was all I had," you said, gesturing to your surroundings.

Din was silent, unsure what to say, but you were grateful for that. You preferred silence anyway.

"The scars have healed with time. Maybe one day they'll be gone."

"Emotional scars never heal," Din finally said. He was watching you, one knee propped up to support his elbow as he leaned against the trunk of the tree.

"Well, that's true, but I don't mean emotional scars. I mean physical ones."

"But you're so... well, you're so whole, so undamaged." He was thinking about your soft hands and how smooth they'd been on his face.

"That's not true. I have scars."

Din narrowed his eyes, prompting you to continue.

You shrugged your cape off again and started to unbutton to top buttons of your shirt. You had nothing to prove to this man, didn't need to do anything to earn his respect. And yet you wanted to show him the most vulnerable parts of you.

"You don't have to--"

You yanked the collar of your shirt down, effectively shutting him up, and putting the scar that sliced along your clavicle on full display. "Here's where the first blast hit."

Then you turned away, kneeling with your back to Din, and fully unbuttoned your shirt, letting it slip from your shoulders and gather at your waist to show him the second scar, another long slice that curved around your right shoulder blade. Both scars were old, softened and faded over the years from having grown much bigger than when they were inflicted. They no longer hurt to touch, though the searing pain of the memories was still there.

"How..." Din couldn't finish his sentence. He was too preoccupied with the sight of your bare back, smooth except for the line that hinted at the intense trauma from your past. And the scars were beautiful; you were beautiful. He realized with a shudder that you were now naked from the waist up, giving the marsh a show he'd been thinking of catching a glimpse of for a while now.

You heard Din move, heard him shift and lean forward, felt his warm presence behind you. You wondered momentarily if he would touch you and found you liked that thought.

You didn't feel him reaching out until a single finger touched your back gently, gliding along the path of your scar and sending a shiver down your spine. The goosebumps that followed his touch did not go unnoticed by either of you. You looked back over your shoulder, watching Din from the corner of your eye as several waves of emotions washed over him, pity, sadness, horror, fascination, admiration. But he couldn't seem to pull his hand away, ungloved, from the skin on skin contact.

"Do you miss your family?" His question was asked in barely a whisper.

"I don't really remember them anymore." It was difficult to admit that you had mostly forgotten what your mother and sister looked like.

"You can miss something you don't remember having." Din was right, of course, though he'd said it absentmindedly, thinking of his own family. His fingers were still tracing along the skin of your back, up your vertebrae, across your ribs. Something else had taken control of his hand, like he didn't know what he was doing anymore, unaware of his movements.

You could have stopped him. Brought him back from wherever his mind was floating up in space. But you didn't. You leaned into his touch, consenting to the reassurance of his presence. You let Din wrap his arm around your waist, place his warm hand against your bare tummy, and pull you in.

He didn't know what compelled him to hold you like this. He'd never wanted to touch anyone this way before. But you leaned into him, your body melting against his, a contented hum spreading through you and into the big hands that held you, and it felt like a piece of him he hadn't even known was missing had been returned to its rightful place.

It was oddly serene, this position of being encompassed by someone so much bigger than you. But he was hot against your naked skin, insulating you from the night air. He pressed his face against your neck, breathing you in, lips barely grazing your skin, and you thought you could sit like this forever, protected, safe, warm.

He didn't try to grope you, didn't try to get a peek at whatever you might look like from the front. It was intensely comforting, knowing that he respected you, knowing he wouldn't take advantage of you the way so many other men tried to do. He only wanted to inhale your scent and never let go of this feeling he had no name for. It was a feeling he'd only ever felt once before, while holding the kid for the last time, knowing he had to say goodbye. Neither of you wanted to move.

The sounds of the world melted away and it was only you and Din and his breath against your skin. You had no idea how long you stayed that way.

"We should go," you whispered. "Before someone realizes I'm gone."

Though reluctantly, Din pulled away, that all-encompassing warmth gone, and he helped you dress. He'd barely even seen you, barely even touched you, and he was craving more. He wanted to be linked to you forever, to hold your hand the way you had in the market, to kiss you. He'd never done any of it before and yet he knew without a doubt you were the person he wanted to be with. He just needed to know you felt the same.

"You don't have to do alone," he said, hoping you would understand what he was offering.

"Excuse me?" You turned back to look at him but the helmet was already on and you couldn't tell what he was implying underneath it.

"Rule. You don't have to rule alone. I know you can. I've seen you do it. But you don't have to."

You stood, suddenly feeling exposed though fully dressed again, like the Mandalorian had just read your mind and discovered every feeling that swirled around in there.

"Don't you dare tell me what I do or don't have to do, Djarin," you said sharply. But your voice cracked with suppressed tears."There are traditions to follow, customs I have to abide by. This is my place."

The words were harsh, more defensive than they should have been and you regretted saying them the moment they left your mouth. But Din had recognized in you what you truly wanted, to not be alone anymore, to have a family again, and it scared you.

"Are you afraid of heights?" he asked unexpectedly, standing as well.

"What are you talking about?" you asked, your words still laced with annoyance and defiance. You were still feeling defensive, but now you were equally as confused.

He repeated the question and you shook your head slowly. What was he planning?

"Good, I'm tired of walking," was all he said before he wrapped his arms around your waist, powered up his jetpack, and shot straight up into the air. Somehow, you managed not to vomit at the sudden change in altitude. But Maker, you were flying, and incredibly fast.

One moment you were frozen in shock and the next you were screaming, your voice lost to the wind that pummeled your face. You hid your face in the crook of Din's next, holding on tight. No, you weren't afraid of heights, but that wasn't the problem here. The problem was you felt like you were going to fall at any moment, no matter how tightly Din held you.

But it was a short flight. You landed less than gracefully at the front doors of the palace, stumbling like you'd just stepped off a boat. Din caught your elbow and righted you.

"Dank farrick, Din! You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry. You were spiraling. I had to do something."

You realized he was right. The shock of adrenaline coursing through your body had completely distracted you from the emotions you had been overwhelmed with only a couple of minutes ago. But now they started to flood back, the loneliness, the fear. Why did you feel these things, but only now, with Din right next to you? Did he remind you of how hard it was to be alone, show you what you were missing? You had to get away, to be with your jumbled thoughts for a moment and collect yourself. You couldn't breathe.

"Thank you for... spending the evening with me. I--" You couldn't look him in the face, even though it was hidden behind the helmet. You didn't finish your sentence, just walked away, leaving the Mandalorian standing in the entrance to your quiet palace.

"You can't run forever." You were already halfway up the stairs when Din called out. You didn't stop, didn't turn around, just ran like the coward you were from the feelings you couldn't hide from him. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You were an idiot that couldn't tell the one good man on this maker-forsaken planet how you really felt.

In your bedroom you stripped, changing quickly into your pajamas and then curling up in bed under the covers. Maybe if you pressed your face into the pillow hard enough you could scream in frustration and no one would hear.

Din had watched as you walked, no, ran, away from him. He should have stopped you, should have told you how he felt. How did he feel, though? What words would he have to say to you, other than what he'd already said? And then what, just to have you throw his feelings right back in his face.

He didn't move until you'd disappeared from sight, only then making his way to his room. It wasn't often that Din got the opportunity to sleep without his armor on. He usually didn't feel safe enough. But here, in this palace, he pulled each piece off one by one and stacked it on the floor. Here, he could sleep in comfort, in peace, without anything to bother him--

Except that he knew he couldn't. Not when he felt there was something left unsaid. He hoped you wouldn't be asleep yet, hoped that when he saw your face he would know exactly what he wanted to say.

You didn't get the chance to scream into your pillow. Someone knocked softly at your bedroom door, disturbing your stress relief hours. You swore to the Maker, if it was Zena or one of your guards here to berate you for sneaking out again, you would actually scream, and not into a pillow but in their face.

But it wasn't Zena or a guard or anyone else. It was Din on the other side and you were wearing those damn transparent pajamas again like you knew what they did to him. But he had to focus. He had things he wanted to say. He'd caught a glimpse of the real you deep inside and he wanted it back, all for himself.

"I meant what I said." Din never raised his voice, but now he was becoming insistent. "You put so much into caring for others. But have you ever thought about accepting some help every once in a while?"

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your heart rate. Why did seeing his face like this make you so nervous? It excited you to find the Mandalorian standing patiently outside your bedroom, especially at this time of night.

"I don't need help," was all you managed to sputter out. Apparently, Din had made a stop in his room to shed his armor, the first time you'd seen him without it. You'd expected him to look smaller under it all but he still managed to fill your doorway and block your escape.

"Maker be damned, I'm trying to tell you that I want to take care of you. I'm not offering because I think you need me, I'm offering because you're allowed to need me." Din took a step forward, closing the gap between you even more. Written on his face was an urgency you'd only seen a few times before.

"I--" You didn't know what to say. I don't know how? "I can't think when you look at me like that."

"Like what?" Din's voice was low with earnest gravity.

"Like you care."

"I do care. I care a lot, but for some reason, you won't accept it." His hands found your face, holding your chin to force you to look into his eyes. "Somehow you think this is disingenuous. And I know you don't trust many people but let me be one of them."

Care. Trust. His words rattled around your brain and sent you spinning. He was so close, so warm. The world was hazy with that tingling feeling, the one that pulled you to him, made you reach out a hand to touch the dark fabric of his undershirt. You had no idea what you were doing, no control over the movement of your fingers as they took hold and dragged him closer.

"Stop running," he whispered softly, letting you pull your bodies together.

He cared. Oh Maker, he wanted you to lean on him, to give him some of the burden you carried. So you did, letting your hands find his shoulders and rest there.

"Do you trust me?" you asked in a hushed tone.

"Of course--"

"Then kiss me."

He didn't need to be told twice, closing the last of the distance between you and kissing you with the same urgency that was written on his face.

You were it, the first and last. Your lips were like a siren's song, dragging Din to the depths of a passion he'd suppressed for so long, calling for him to relent to their addictiveness. He would drown in this taste until he succumbed.

Din kissed you tenderly, carefully, as if he was afraid you would disappear the moment he let go. No man had ever kissed you this way. They had all been greedy, triumphant, dominating kisses, as if you were a prize to be won, a conquest to be conquered. But Din, Din kissed like he had everything to lose and nothing to gain in return. He only pulled away when you did, breathless and panting for air, foreheads pressed together.

Your hands were still grabbing his shirt greedily as you dragged him into your bedroom. Din was so lost in capturing your lips with his again he barely noticed being pushed onto the bed until he was flat on his back with your body stacked on top of his. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing your hips flush with his, your knees straddling his waist in return, and your elbows leaning on either side of his head.

No matter how tightly he held you it wasn't enough. He needed to fit that missing piece back into the hole in his heart. But your lips were a start. It was impossible to tell where yours ended and his began and that's how he liked it.

Was this what he was missing out on his whole life? When you prodded your tongue against his lips, he let you sink deep into his mouth, moaning in response and sending vibrations through his chest and into yours.  He ran his hands up and down your sides, memorizing every curve and contour, wishing the clothing that separated you two would disappear but not knowing how to make it happen.

You broke away to run your fingers through Din's hair, his really fucking soft hair, and place a kiss on the nose that was simply begging to be kissed. You'd wanted to do that for a while.

"How do you taste so good? Like heaven on my tongue," he mumbled. His words sent shivers down your spine and you pulled away to look at his face. Din's eyes were closed, heavy with bliss and experiencing the greatest pleasure of his life. Your body tingled with excitement.

"Have you never been kissed properly?" you asked teasingly. It was meant as a joke.

"Never been kissed," was his short reply, eyes still closed, a dumbstruck look on his face.

You stopped in your tracks, abruptly pulling away further and sitting up.

"What?" you asked, a bit louder than you'd intended.

Din's eyes flew open. He wasn't sure what to say. He'd thought it was obvious, considering how awkwardly unaware he was of what he was doing. "I've worn a helmet for three decades. Doesn't really aid in building romantic relationships."

Suddenly you felt like apologizing, afraid you'd forced him into something he didn't want. "Oh Maker, I'm sorry, if I'd known I would have--"

"Woah, slow down, Angel." You were speaking too fast, tumbling over your words a mile a minute. Din sat up as well, holding onto your hips to keep you straddling him, grounding you and letting you know it was okay. "Don't apologize. I want you. I need you."

Fuck, he needed you. The sincerity in his eyes and his tender use of a nickname eased your worry. But you were still unsure. What if this was some part of his Mandalorian creed, and you were breaking it? Din seemed to recognize the concern on your face, the way he always did.

"Look at me." You did. "I want this. I promise. I've dreamt about kissing you since the moment I met you. Fuck, you have no idea. I dream about holding you and touching you and making you feel good. I just--I don't know how. Tell me how."

This was...new. Uncharted territory. Men usually knew what they were doing. Or at least thought they did. Generally, they were arrogant enough to believe they were pleasuring you, even when they weren't. Never had anyone asked what you wanted. The fact that this man, the greatest warrior in the galaxy, was absolutely clueless but asking for your help, turned you on even more.

If he thought that kiss was good, you were about to blow his mind.

Din had seen naked women before. Once, he'd chased a bounty into a strip club and shackled the man as he was paying for a lap dance. But nothing could compare to you. The urgency that had dominated your kiss was gone, replaced by a deliberate craving. You guided his hands to the buttons of your shirt, urging him to take it off himself. He did, fingers grazing your skin as he slipped the item from your shoulders, leaving your heaving breasts bare before him. You were breathing rapidly and Din burned, knowing that he was the reason why.

"Tell me if you want to stop."

Din nodded, eyes roving all over you, from your face to your chest to the soft plane of your stomach. Between your breasts hung the round pendant of your necklace and he watched as it swung gently back and forth. You could tell he wanted to touch you but was unsure if he should, or how he should. So you took his hand, holding his fingers gently to place them on the soft skin of your neck.

"Follow your fingers with your lips."

At first, he was confused, but then you began to move his hand, dragging his fingers down your neck, along your collarbone, over the tender flesh of your breasts, across your hardening nipple, and down toward the hem of your pants. Din did as he was told, placing soft, open mouth kisses everywhere his fingers went. He placed his free hand on your back, stabilizing you as you leaned back to give him better access. He lingered on the soft mounds of your areolas, taking each into his mouth and sucking gently. He did it instinctually, not knowing what reaction he would receive from you, but taking immense pleasure in the moans he elicited from your mouth.

Mouth still tasting every inch of your bare skin, Din gripped your hips and flipped you around so that you were laying on the bed. He wasn't sure if it was what he was supposed to do, but it seemed like the right move. He continued to kiss you everywhere he could, meditating in the sweet floral scent that an evening spent in nature had left upon you. You nodded when he looked into your eyes, silently asking to remove your pants for you.

Maker, you were gorgeous. He took a ragged breath at the sight of you, slick with desire, all for him. You whispered his name, pulling his intense gaze away from your folds and back to your eyes.

"Watch," you said. And then you began to touch yourself, a lazy finger gathering your wetness and dragging along your slit. You let your legs fall open to give Din a better view as you pleasured yourself. With your middle finger, you found your clit and circled, easing into the satisfying feeling that you knew would build toward an orgasm. You added another finger, dipping slowly into your cunt and savoring the warmth you found there.

Din could tell you'd done this many times before, knew exactly how best to touch yourself. But now someone was watching you, intently, exploring your edges and lines with his gaze, cataloging every hitch in your breath and twitch of your stomach. He studied your patterns and movements like he did his bounties, learning what you liked, anticipating your reactions.

"Fuck," you cursed under your breath, the wicked voyeuristic sensation lighting something new in your core. What had once been your own dirty little secret you were now performing for an audience, an extremely attentive audience, and it was hot as fuck.

Din watched as your head flopped back in pleasure, a breathy moan escaping your throat, as your free hand came to your breast to pinch and twist the hard bud. Just seeing you this way, writhing beneath your own touch, was making his cock grow hard, but he wanted desperately to be the one to make you feel that way, edging you toward orgasm.

You noticed his need and grabbed his hand to replace it with your own, though not before bringing your fingers to Din's lips for a taste. He wrapped his mouth around your wetness with no reluctance, eyes sinking shut with heady desire and licking them clean.

Like heaven. He wanted you so badly, to know what every inch of you tasted like. He would have to be patient.

Everything about this was irritatingly slow, but it brought your craving for him to a new level. The urgency that had built as you worked toward your first orgasm had subsided to a dull ache without your consistent fingers, begging to be attended to. You knew you could finish yourself off, quickly and easily. But you wanted him to be the one to do. You wanted to know what it was like to unravel beneath the Mandalorian.

Din truly had no idea what he was doing and he couldn't sustain what you'd started. But he was curious, unafraid, and the acute learner in him caught on quickly. You gasped as a thick finger entered you, experimental and slow, and you grabbed onto his shoulders for both his support and your own. He added another finger, testing the velvet softness of your cunt and the ridges of your walls, filling you and stretching you in a way you couldn't do for yourself. He could get the angle right, you knew, better than your own fingers could, but it wasn't enough. You would have to show him.

You peeled open your eyes, unaware that they had even been shut in the first place, to watch him. He was taking you in with his eyes, leaving no part of you untouched by his gaze.

"Din, look at me." His eyes snapped to yours. "Like this."

You showed him how to curl his fingers, how to press his thumb to your clit at the same time. And when he did, Oh Maker, it was the sensation you'd always craved but could never perform for yourself. He filled you so well and only his fingers were touching you. A stifled cry left your lips and you gripped his shoulder harder, trying to ground yourself despite feeling like you were being lifted off into space. He leaned down, fingers still moving magically inside you, and took a nipple between his teeth, nibbling gently and soothing the searing sensation with a soft kiss before doing it all over again.

"Does this feel good, Your Majesty?" he asked against the skin of your chest, voice husky with arousal. It was utterly sinful, using your title while he was finger fucking you into oblivion.

You could barely do more than moan in response. He was catching on quickly, noticing how your hips jerked in response to the pressure on your clit and your walls clenched around his fingers when he simply curled them up and forward. You were falling apart slowly but surely, your breathing erratic, some very unqueenly curses falling from your perfect lips.

This was torture, this build-up, slow, consistent, inching. You could feel it coming, feel the heat pooling between your thighs and your pelvic floor spasming. But it was so fucking slow, like marching straight toward a cliff and not knowing when the edge would come, when the ground would fall out beneath your feet. And you loved every moment of it.

Din's face had fallen to your neck, his lips pressing heated kisses everywhere he could put them. He could feel your erratic pulse beneath his lips, the vibrations of your moans spreading through him. "Does this feel good? I need you to tell me. Tell me."

"Fuck, yes Din, don't stop. Don't-- don't do anything different. It's perfe--"

The words got stuck in your throat as you moaned into your approaching orgasm. You would cum any moment if--

And then, the edge of the cliff gave out and there was nothing beneath you but your crashing orgasm and Din's steady hand, guiding you through your pleasure. Oh Maker, the progress had been so measured and gradual you hadn't even known it was coming, but now you were falling and falling, only to be caught by Din's unyielding touch.

Din's face was buried in your neck as you came, your delicious cries breathed directly into his ear. It was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard, the sound of you fracturing into a million pieces by his hand. He cursed under his breath and you felt his words against your skin as you came down from your high, twitching and spasming.

"Are you okay, Angel?" he asked sweetly. He brushed the hair from your face to gaze deeply into your eyes, bewildered by what he'd just done to you.

"I'm more than okay," you replied with a giggle. You couldn't help the sound that bubbled up in your throat. "Come here."

You pulled at Din's shirt to drag him into a kiss and realized he was still fully clothed, the bastard. You wanted the shirt off with the rest of his clothes. You wanted nothing between you and him.

"Off. All of this off," you said, motioning to his clothes. Din complied and stood, tossing everything to the floor. You sat up onto your knees on the mattress so that you were at his eye level when he approached the edge of the bed once more. Reaching out to pull him in by his hips, you caught a glimpse of the amazing specimen before you. Broad and thick was the best way to describe him, both his shoulders and his cock. He had smooth, soft skin with hardened muscles beneath, no doubt from the taxing nature of his job, slightly tanned and beautifully scarred.

And he was hard for you. It sent a thrill up your spine to grasp gently at his thick length as he pulled you closer, lips against yours. He gasped into your mouth as he aligned his body with yours, bucking his hips involuntarily into your hand while you stroked him slowly. You took the opportunity to nibble his bottom lip, relishing in how fucking good it felt to press your skin to his. He was intoxicatingly warm, his big warm hands on your back, his big warm cock against your stomach.

"Can I ride you?" you asked against his mouth. Din groaned, eyes fluttering shut.

"I have no idea what that means but yes, please."

"Lay down." Oh Maker, it felt a little too good to tell this force of a man what to do and have him listen. But that was a feeling to be explored at another time. Now there was only fucking him into the next galaxy. You wanted to hear your name, your real name, from his lips.

You climbed across Din's lap, straddling him but not sinking onto him yet, instead letting his cock rest between your folds and tease your entrance gently. You were in no hurry, the high of your first orgasm still leaving you overly sensitive to touch, but you could tell Din was eager for release. He gripped your hips tightly as you leaned down, letting him take each of your breasts in his mouth, one by one.

When you began to grind your hips slowly against his, it took all his effort not to let the dam break right then and there. He'd gotten himself off plenty of times, even going so far as to hold back as long as he could to prolong the pleasure. But your folds were slick and warm against his twitching cock and he wasn't sure he could take the torture much longer. He needed to be inside you and he wasn't above begging.

"Are you going to take me or just fucking tease me all night?" Din huffed.

You smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips, wanting to taste his exclamations on your tongue when you finally sank your pussy around his length. And he did not disappoint. He was just as loud as you'd hoped he'd be, after finally lining your entrance with his length and easing down onto him. What you didn't expect was how good it would feel to have him inside you, your own moans mingling with his at the sensation. He filled you completely, stretching you further than his fingers had. It was slightly painful, but only in the sense that pleasure is often conflated with pain. You took him fully, feeling the head of his shaft press against the sensitive flesh of your cervix deep inside you.

Rolling your hips experimentally, Din jerked below you, trying to speed up your movements, but you wouldn't relent. With a hand on his face, thumb and fingers pressing into his cheeks, you maintained eye contact, the other hand against his chest for stability.

"Let me take care of you, Mando," you whispered with a hazy smile. He wanted so desperately to flip you over and fuck you however he pleased, but he held back, the sight of you beautiful and bare atop him mesmerizing and enthralling. The flush of your skin and the gentle bounce of your tits as you moved hypnotized him into obeying your request. He would do whatever his queen asked of him, he knew, without question.

You slowly picked up the pace, maintaining the rocking motion that dragged his cock along your g-spot and drove Din mad. He groaned and grunted beneath you, his sounds mixing with yours in the otherwise quiet bedroom. You leaned back, placing your hands flat against his thighs, and kept going, loving the way he let loose without inhibition or reserve. His hands gripped tightly at your hips, crashing you back down every time you rocked up, and you felt your second orgasm building in your core. It was now a question of who would come first. You suspected it would be Din.

It was his turn to fall apart, to lose control. You wanted him to relinquish his dignity the way you had to him. Finally, those precious words left his lips, at first a whisper and building louder, your name groaned over and over and over again. Your walls clenched at the sound and he choked beneath you at the sensation.

"Fuck, Angel, I'm gonna cum if you keep that up." You leaned forward again and noticed his eyes were screwed tight like he was holding back as best he could.

"Oh baby, that's the point. Cum for me, Din. Cum inside me, baby." The commanding words tumbled from your mouth, mixed with your shameless moans as you held back your own orgasm, wanting to clamp down around his cock as he came. With a jerk, you felt his cock twitch inside you, and Din cursed loudly with a groan. He seized your hips even harder than he had before, firmly holding you against his own as he came hard, his cum spilling deep inside you. With his heat filling you, you let go, releasing your own orgasm and contracting around his length, milking every drop.

You collapsed on top of Din with an overstimulated sob, not even bothering to pull off of his throbbing member. He wrapped his arms around your back and held you, his ragged breath in your ear slowly steadying and returning to normal.

"Fuck, that was beautiful," Din murmured. "You're beautiful. Oh Maker, you're so beautiful."

Din wasn't sure what was happening to him but he couldn't stop talking. Every thought, praises, rambling, absolute nonsense, that crossed his mind left his mouth, completely out of his control. You giggled, your own cock drunk brain unable to comprehend little else other than how sweet his soft grin was or how he had only one dimple on his left cheek.

"I'm going to just fall asleep like this if that's alright with you," Din said, rolling you over onto your side so he could pull the covers over the two of you and hold you. You giggled again as he rested his chin on the top of your head and you buried your face in his chest, letting his warmth wrap around you. "And then I'm never leaving."

Though he said the words lightly, it was difficult to ignore the finality they carried, so you deflected. "Didn't you promise Zena you would train with her in the morning?"

Din groaned at the reminder. "I did, didn't I?"

When you didn't respond, he looked down at your face. Your eyes had closed softly and your breath was deepening, sleep starting to tug at the edges of your brain. You hadn't realized how tired you were until you were hunkered down, feeling the security of Din's fingers pressed against your back, the rising and falling of his chest lulling you into a sense of safety.

Din pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, believing you to be asleep, but needing to say these next words anyway, needing to make up somehow the failures of your grandfather.

"I know I won't always be around. I can't always stay. But I'll always come back. I promise."

*Read Next Part*

[whosaysitsfantasy]

Juke/Maddison & Charlie

So I just want to address something about Juke and then I’m literally not going to talk about it again, because I’ve seen a few posts about people shipping the actors and then people hating on the ship a little bit because of the age gap and it’s just been frustrating me so I wan’t to kinda get this out and then just get back to enjoying the show. Also Apologies if this upsets anyone but these are my opinions and you in no way have to agree with them I just ask that you read my thoughts fully before passing judgment and to please be respectful.

Here is what I think it is ok to do:

Shipping Luke and Julie together. Why? Because in the show they are both teenagers (16/17). I saw someone say it was kinda gross because the boys should be like 42? which I think is a little ridiculous because if they had lived sure they would have been 42 or w.e. but they didn’t... they died, and it is  canon that to them no time has passed. What this means is that the boys are still mentally, emotionally and physically 17 years old. For this reason the characters are perfectly capable of being together and their biggest obstacle remains Luke being a ghost lol. 

Here is what I think it is NOT ok to do: 

Shipping Maddison and Charlie together in real life. Now I’m going to break down for you why this is gross and not ok and why saying “when she’s 18 he can date her” is also not ok. 

A 16 year old and a 22 year old have two completely different maturity levels. A 16 year old can be mature absolutely but that doesn’t mean that they are at the  same maturity level as a 22 year old. I’m 26 and I can tell you that my maturity changed DRASTICALLY between the ages of 16-24. I use to think I was very mature when I was 16. When I hit 22 and looked back at who I was I realized that I was not nearly as mature as I believed I was and now at 26 I can clearly see the differences in who I was as a person at these ages. I can guarantee that most people (if they’re self aware enough) would agree that their maturity level was completely different as a teenager then it was once they hit their twenties. A lot of this has to do with the simple fact that in your 20′s you’ve typically gained more life experience through jobs, and relationships and higher education your brain has also developed more. Now. Maddison is definitely mature for her age in no way am I claiming she isn’t however it is still very obvious through different interviews and lives I’ve seen of her and of Charlie that they are not at the same level. Mentally, emotionally, physically.They definitely have more of a brother/sister friendship. It’s clear that they care about each other and they can of course get a long as friends but friendship and an intimate relationship are two completely different things. Maddison and Charlie’s maturity’s work fine as a friendship but if you were to factor in intimacy and romance it quickly becomes problematic. Some people might still think that the maturity levels don’t matter. I’m here to tell you it does. 

While I don’t think that Charlie would be the type of guy to ever pressure a girl he is with, that doesn’t mean that the pressure would not still exist. If they were to hypothetically date Maddison could easily feel pressured into participating in things she might not really feel ready for like certain intimate acts, parties ect because she want’s to please her partner or because she might feel like this is what she SHOULD be doing rather then doing what she is emotionally and mentally ready for. That pressure can easily influence someone of a young age who hasn’t had many experiences into doing things they eventually regret or doing things that end up having a negative impact on their mental health and the way they view themselves or even how they view healthy/unhealthy relationships down the line. Now Maddison seems smart and has a good support system but your support system can’t protect you 24/7 in an intimate relationship no matter how hard they try which is why a lot of teenagers end up going through something that they end up wishing they hadn’t done because they didn’t know any better. To also say that he can just “wait” for her to turn 18 is just predatory and gross and suggests that it’s still ok to pursue someone of a young age so long as you wait till they are legal which it is not that still means you wanted to be with a minor even if you wait till they are 18.

Also it is important to note that an actors personal life is NONE of your business. An Actors job is to perform in the show/play/movie that they have been hired to perform in and to then promote that project. That’s it. That is all they owe you and anything else is entirely up to their discretion. You are not owed information about their personal lives and you are not owed a say in who they date. If you like two actors who are dating and you think they are cute that’s fine, if they are sharing their relationship and you want to support it that is fine but you have to understand boundaries. I’ve seen fans overstep in a LOT of fandoms (one example being Lili and Cole from Riverdale) where they attack other people for being close to the people in the relationship or they bother the actors to update them about their relationship ect. It’s disrespectful and it’s honestly not your place regardless of if they have shared information about a relationship previously. It’s also not cool to try to pressure the actors into dating, you don’t know what they are actually like irl you have no idea if they are actually compatible you do not have a full picture of the situation and for that reason your opinion should be kept to yourself.

Finally I want to address the whole Luke & Julie kissing issue because I totally understand why people are a little uncertain about it due to the age gap. Now normally I’d be a little put off by it but I am actually ok with the idea of Luke and Julie kissing on screen and I’m just going to list off quickly below why I think it’s ok and why I wouldn’t get upset if it happened.

1. It is very clear that Maddison’s family (specifically her dad) are very involved with Maddison and her job on JATP. Mr.Reyes is often shown on set with her at rehearsals and during shooting. He was there when they practiced the perfect harmony dance which I personally thought was kinda intimate. I feel better about it because I know she has a strong support system who will be there to ensure that if a kiss DID happen she would be safe because she has her family looking out for her on set.

2. Much like above both Kenny and Charlie are very respectful people who very clearly have a lot of respect and love for Maddison. I also don’t think they would ever put Maddison into a position she was uncomfortable with. If a kiss DID happen I am sure there will be a lot of conversations about it and it would be done in a respectful healthy way.

3. This is a job. They are not kissing because they like each other in real life they are not pursuing anything romantically. They are performing a job that they are being paid for in front of a group of people also performing a job. This for me helps me feel less gross about it because even though they are actually kissing it’s not a ‘real’ romantic kiss. It’ll be a staged one that they have gone over and discussed at length with Kenny.

4. This is a Kenny Ortega project. The show has very clearly established that the relationships are about more than physical intimacy. IF we get a kiss between Julie and Luke we are not going to get more then a PG rated kiss.. hell probably more of a G rated kiss. Not only because this is a project by Kenny but because the actors are different ages. It is also unlikely that we will get more then one maybe two kisses a season. I personally don’t think they’re going to make them kiss in season two I think it might happen if we get season 3 but I would still be ok with a season 2 kiss because again it will probably be very simple and very respectful especially cause it’ll also probably be Julie’s 1st kiss. If they were to have them  make out or something that would be when I would  feel uncomfortable, but that just doesn’t seem like Kenny’s vibe. He’s worked with a lot of young actors and it’s not like they’re going to french kiss or something. Kissing is intimate of course but a small closed mouth kiss is honestly pretty innocent in my opinion especially if done correctly. So it doesn’t bother me much.

5. Finally by the time they get around to filming a season 2 or 3 Maddison will also be a bit older (17 or 18) hopefully so she will also be at an age where it will feel more comfortable for her.

So in conclusion: shipping Juke good, shipping Maddy & Charlie bad and wanting Juke to kiss is acceptable so long as they do it appropriately which from what I’ve seen of the cast and the crew I believe they would. I personally have a lot of faith in the creators of this show it’s clearly a very healthy supportive environment and I trust that they know what they are doing. 

Again these are my personal opinions but I felt like some people weren’t really looking at it from a completely logical standpoint but more of an emotional one which is understandable because its a very serious subject matter and it could very well also be a trigger for many people who’ve gone through something similar. I just needed to get all that off my chest cause this kind of thing can breed negativity in fandoms and thats why I don’t participate in them anymore. and listen if this was a different show with a different cast and crew and creator and they had a 16 year old and a 22 year old kissing I would probably find it more unsettling but I think one of the reasons why we all love this show so much is BECAUSE it is so healthy and because the cast are so involved and vocal about the show. I have no doubt in my mind that Maddison would have the space to speak up if she was uncomfortable and I have no doubt in my mind that Kenny and her family would make sure she was safe.

So anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk and please if you disagree that’s totally ok just don’t be hateful, I’m happy to have discussions but I won’t tolerate rudeness cause at the end of the day it’s a show and it’s out of our hands and I’m not saying you have to agree with me. This is just how I feel about these issues. 

Ok thanks bye <3

[2manyfandoms2count]

You can count on me (I will be there for you)

Alya joins the identity dance, and the chapters flirt with the 2k mark again (it’s fine).

Hope you enjoy!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | AO3

---

Chapter 4

Chat Noir detransforms as he lands into Marinette’s room, and goes straight for her sewing box. He knows the code for it; Ladybug had made sure he did after she’d started to find the blackmail letters, in case anything happened to her.

Not that they use it much, these days, mind you.

The Miraculous box unfolds before him, and he swiftly picks up the Fox and the Horse Miraculouses. He’s about to close it when his eyes land on the Turtle bracelet, and he pauses. Even though it would probably be better to have as few people involved as possible, he has to say it might be a good idea to have some backup, just in case.

He mentally scans the guest list. Alix already has her Miraculous with her, and he knows she’ll use it if needed. Luka’s Second Chance could come in useful, but he’s performing with Kitty Section. It would be a little tricky to camouflage his costume on stage, especially with Alya’s Mirage otherwise occupied. Chloé would surely be ecstatic at the idea of seeing Pollen again, but Adrien isn’t sure that she would be very discreet about it. Same for Kim and Xuppu.

This leaves Nino and Kagami, his best people. Calm, collected, trustworthy. He shoves their Miraculouses in his pocket, closes the box and dashes out of the door. He doesn’t know exactly what their role could be, but he knows that having the Miraculouses on him can only buy some time later.

He slows down as he walks into the reception room, nodding to a few acquaintances his father had insisted should be there, and grabs a canapé from a waiter’s tray as his eyes search the room for his wife’s best friend. He spots her in the middle of a conversation with Marinette, next to the head table, and makes a beeline for them.

“Hello, beautiful ladies.” He clears his throat as he approaches.

“And hello to you, Hot Stuff.” Alya winks and elbows Marinette in the ribs. The bride blushes a deep shade of crimson at the reminder of the time she’d stolen Adrien’s phone, and starts to regret asking Alya to be her Maid of Honour. I’m going to die of embarrassment before the end of the toasts, aren’t I? Her head shake says.

“Marinette, would you mind if I borrowed Alya for a minute?”

“Please, do.” She all but pushes her friend towards her husband, who smiles and starts leading her towards the edge of the room.

“Actually, Adrien?” Marinette calls out before they’re too far away. He turns around and sees her jog up to him.

“Erm… Have you seen Chat Noir yet?” She whispers, looking around them carefully to make sure nobody’s listening. Alya’s eyebrows shoot up and Marinette gestures that she’ll explain later.

“Yes!” Adrien nods. “You can count on me, after the toasts.”

“Okay, good.” Marinette lets out a relieved sigh. “Just wanted to check. I’ll leave you two to it.”

“See you later, love.” He leans in and kisses her on the cheek, ‘for appearances’.

“Y-yeah, sounds good.” She blushes again, her hand flying to her cheek as she watches him and Alya leave. Kwami, his acting is smooth.

“Aw, look at my girl, she’s just as flustered as when we were in collège!” Alya coos, glancing back at Marinette once they’re out of earshot. She waves at her, and Marinette waves back nervously before starting to talk with a guest. “What’s this about Chat Noir though?” She turns towards Adrien and looks him in the eye.

“Actually, he’s what I want to talk to you about.” He shuffles awkwardly on his feet, trying to find the right words. “But first, I need you to promise this conversation will stay between us. No telling Marinette, or anyone.”

“Not even Nino?” Alya clutches her heart. She can keep Miraculous secrets from the public, but she feels bad keeping things from her fiancé.

“Nino will know part of it soon enough, I promise. The rest is something I’ll only tell him once I’ve told Marinette.”

She pouts pensively, weighing satisfying her curiosity against lies of omission.

“I guess that’s alright.” She finally shrugs, and her eyes widen hungrily at the smell of a scoop. “So, what’s wrong with Chat Noir? And what does it have to do with Marinette?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it a problem, per se, in normal circumstances, but today…”

“Spill it, Agreste.”

“Okay.” Adrien takes a deep breath. “You know how Ladybug is dating Chat Noir?”

“Duh, I was the one who uncovered that story.” She says with a smug smile. Adrien rolls his eyes, an amused smile playing on his lips. It had occurred to him later that Ladybug had made sure it was Alya who found out first, as if to soften the blow of keeping her identity from her later.

“Well, it turns out that…” Adrien looks around them quickly, just to make sure there are no ears lying around, and his voice drops to a whisper. “Marinette is Ladybug.”

“What? ” Alya’s shriek is muffled by Adrien’s hand.

“Shh, this is confidential info, we don’t want people to come poking around.”

Alya blinks, then closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She takes her time to formulate a coherent sentence, although Adrien can tell from her slight nervous twitching that her thoughts must be all over the place.

When it looks like she's gotten over the news enough that she can control the volume of her voice, he moves his hand away from her mouth.

“So, Marinette is… you-know-who. Okay. This is fine. I can handle it. I just… I was obsessed with her! How did I not notice she was literally right there, next to me, the whole time!!” She facepalms.

“Tell me about it.” Adrien smiles. He'd had the same mini meltdown after he and Ladybug had parted ways on the day she'd called off her transformation in front of him. He’d sat in front of Marinette for years , and never suspected a thing. At least, he thought so. There was something about calling her their everyday Ladybug that had come back to mind when he’d dug deeper in his memories… But he would be lying if he said it had been intentional.

“But… If she’s who you say she is… She’s been seen kissing Chat Noir very recently, while you guys were dating. So, no offense, but… why would she be marrying you? Shouldn’t she be marrying Chat Noir? Unless…” She gasps and points at him. “ You’re Chat Noir!”

Adrien smiles at his friend's excellent deduction skills. “Well, see, this is where it gets complicated. You are correct in saying that I am Chat, but , Marinette doesn’t know that.”

“What? But why?” Alya frowns in confusion.

“The good old ‘no reveal’ rule.” He shrugs. “Long story short, Ladybug is being blackmailed. She revealed her identity to me because she figured it would be better this way. I -Chat Noir- offered to act as her bodyguard until we got to the bottom of it all, but she refused because she doesn’t want to know who I am, in case everything goes wrong. She wasn't sure where to get protection from, though, so I offered the Adrien Agreste option, since I have a bodyguard. Match made in heaven, really.”

“Dayum.” Alya looks at him blankly, taking the time to process his explanation. “So, to sum up: you guys are involved in a fake, fake-wedding situation, where Marinette thinks she married her ex-crush for benefits, instead of the love of her life, when you were the same person all along?” She smirks. “Boy, I wish I’d known that before writing my toast, I would have made so many allusions to it… I would have kept it discreet enough that she wouldn’t have understood, of course, but the satisfaction of her connecting the dots later would’ve been amazing.”

“Don’t worry, I took care of that in my own speech.” He winks. He plans on keeping a phone nearby to record it, so he can play it back to her when she knows everything and have her see how genius it was.

“Okay, now. I’m guessing you didn’t just tell me this to get it off your chest.” Alya clears her throat.

“Indeed. Something happened earlier, and Marinette thinks that the people who are blackmailing her are my father and Nathalie.”

“No offense, but that would check out.”

“None taken, I feel the same way.” He pats her shoulder, lips spreading into a tight smile. “Anyway, we’re going to go back to the Mansion to look for evidence after the toasts, and we’ll probably need Rena Rouge to come out of retirement to make sure there are ‘sightings’ of us here while we’re gone. I'm sure Marinette will tell you all about that part of the plan herself, but before that, I need your help because Marinette wants to speak to Chat Noir and Adrien.”

“Oof. She really isn’t making it easy for you to keep your identity a secret, huh.” Alya chuckles.

“Nope.” He smiles as he digs his hands into his pockets. “But it was bound to happen at some point, I’m actually surprised I managed to dodge the situation for so long. You wouldn’t believe the number of times she wanted to have dinner with Chat Noir and Adrien so we could all discuss the plan.”

“Typical Marinette, to overlook the potential awkwardness of having her boyfriend and her fake fiancé together if she’s working on something.” Alya shakes her head.

“Tell me about it." He chuckles, looking at the ground. His wife really is something else, and he loves her for it. "So, are you up for it?”

“Of course!” Alya replies, eyes twinkling as Adrien hands her the necklace. She slips it in her purse with a satisfied smile. “You can count on me.”

“I never doubted that.” Adrien smiles back, and turns back towards the room.

“I just have one question, though.” Alya holds him back before he can start walking away.

“Yes?”

“Why me? I mean… It’s been a while, and… Why not get your cousin to do it? You guys are pretty much carbon copies of each other, physically speaking, wouldn’t it be easier?”

Adrien pauses. “Maybe in theory, but unlike him, I trust you.”

“Ooh, family drama.” She rubs her hands together. “Why did I assume there wouldn’t be any today?”

“Wishful thinking?” He jokes. “Anyway, I'll give you the signal to Mirage a nice little Adrien later. And then if you could bring the necklace back discreetly so that Marinette doesn’t suspect anything, that would be great.”

“Aye, aye, captain.”

Both head back towards the centre of the room, Adrien finding his way to Marinette’s side, and Alya to Nino’s.

Alya grabs a champagne flute and a knife. She nods at Adrien knowingly before she clinks them together, a sly smile spreading to her lips.

The toasts sure are going to be fun.

[gothgirlmahi]

Selfish 3

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3

Dark!Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader

Warnings: non con, dub con

Bucky was calmer than you thought he would be. Just folded arms and saying to Steve “you should probably leave.” Steve complied and dressed himself quickly, giving you one last look before leaving the room. You were still on the bed, completely exposed, legs shaking and cum dripping down your inner thighs. You could have curled up and died right there. Bucky looked tired and sighed.

“Honey, why don’t you get cleaned up and we can deal with this in the morning.” His reaction confused you but you weren’t questioning it. You thought he would hate you, throw you out, be done with you forever but he was seemed only mildly perturbed by the situation. At his suggestion you ran in the bathroom on shaky legs to take a shower.

While bathing, you thought about everything that had happened. Steve had fucked you twice in your own house. You had never told your husband and had no plans to. You enjoyed it.

Every part of you was feeling bad. Another part of you was arguing that this was proof you weren’t good enough for him. You never were. After all, who did this kind of shit?

In an attempt to stall, you took your time in the bathroom, going through a long skin care routine and brushing your teeth for twice as long. You really didn’t want to face him. Guilt weighed in your shoulders heavily even though you knew this wasn’t entirely your fault. Steve had forced himself on you. He was stronger than you, it wasn’t like you could have just refused him. You had tried to get away from him and failed so why did you feel so bad about it all?

When your stalling got to a ridiculous degree you decided to bite the bullet and step out of the bathroom. Bucky was already in bed, dressed in just his boxers and staring at the ceiling. You crossed to your dresser quickly to put on a night gown before settling in beside him. With the idea that he was probably some kind of upset at you, you tried to keep your distance and stay to your own end of the bed. Bucky didn’t say anything but pulled you closer after you settled in and laid your head on his chest. Even with your guilt stricken mind, his strong heartbeat lulled you to sleep. 

The next morning was odd. Bucky didn’t make any mention of what happened and neither did you, even though you wanted to. You expected him to get mad or be upset or do anything but act normal. Maybe he felt like he didn’t have much of a choice. Considering you were his pregnant wife, he probably wouldn’t have just thrown you out on the street. Perhaps he just wanted to move on. But this quickly?

Bucky was working on fixing your TV because something in your house was always broken. While he did that, you made breakfast like the dutiful wife you were. When Bucky was done, he kissed your cheek and you both sat down to eat. Your meal was silent so far, annoyingly so, and you felt that the issue had to be talked about sooner rather than later.

“Can we talk about last night?” you asked. His eyes flickered you to you, filled with an unreadable emotion and he nodded. 

“I got the crib. Put the box in the nursery.”

“That’s not what I mean. Steve and I. It wasn’t...like that.” It sounded stupid when you put it like that. He walked into a room to see his best friend inside his wife. His face seemed more curious than upset but his words mirrored your own sentiments.

“Then what was it like?” You steeled yourself to reply. Being completely honest with yourself, this was something you had practiced in the mirror every time Bucky left. Always trying to ready yourself for the inevitable discovery.

“A few months ago, he came here. He said he was in love with me. He made me have sex with him. I didn’t want to.”

“You seemed to want it last night.”

“I want to talk about that, too.”

“You did enjoy it, didn’t you?”

You burst into tears.

“Bucky, I love you more than anything. You know I’d do anything for you. You know I’d die for you. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please you have to believe I would never—“

“Shh, baby doll, calm down. Calm down, okay? I told him to come here.”

“What?”

“After he told me how he felt about you, I told him to come here.”

“You told him...to come here...and have sex with me?”

“He loves you. Just like I do.”

“You told your friend it was okay for him to come in your house and force himself on your wife? Are you fucking joking?”

“Don’t say it like that. Like I’m some bad guy. I didn’t just send some random stranger that wanted to fuck you, it was Steve. He cares about you and I wanted you and him to be able to work it out. You know I would never put you in danger.”

“You really don’t get it, do you? You really don’t understand how awful that is? Do you understand how upset I’ve been?”

“We never meant to make you upset, but Steve and I are different. He can give you things I can’t. I think this is good for us. For all of us.”

You couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t talk to him. So you didn’t. You just left him at the table and started walking upstairs. He followed you, saying something, but all you heard was white noise.

He did this. They planned this. No one asked what you wanted, they just decided they were going to share you. The thought filled you with equal amounts of rage and sadness.

You walked in the bathroom and slammed the door behind you, locking it quickly. Of course there was no way a small bathroom lock could feasibly keep out the Winter Soldier if he really wanted to get in, but what else could you do?

Sobbing, you slid down and sat against the bathroom door, holding your face in your hands.

“Baby, please come out and talk to me.”

You couldn’t pull yourself together enough to respond. 

“Honey, I know we went about this wrong way. Just let me talk to you.”

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say,” you practically growled at him.

You went from worrying about how Bucky would hate you, to being the one with ill feelings toward him. It hurt. Simultaneously feeling like too much and not enough. Too much for him to handle, too many emotions and needs so he got someone else involved. Yet still not enough for him to love you by himself. Like you weren’t worth it. Worth the time or effort to even pretend like he cared.

When he spoke, his voice sounded close, like he had slid to the floor on the other side.

“I never want you to be unhappy. I just wanted to give you everything you need.”

You didn’t reply.

All you did was stay on the floor for a while. The tile was cold against your bare legs so you brought them up to your chest and fiddled with the frayed stitches on your dress. You couldn’t tell if Bucky was still there so you peaked under the door and saw he was gone.

This was all so stupid. You just felt so stupid. It was like they had set you up. Bucky knew what happened and he was okay with it. He helped orchestrate it. He encouraged Steve to do that to you. You had been worked up for months over something he already knew about. 

Last night was different. Even with knowing the truth, guilt still weighed on your conscience. You had slept with a man that wasn’t your husband and you enjoyed it. Enjoyed the intimacy of it. Enjoyed hearing him praise you and tell you how much he loved you. It was comforting and you wished it wasn’t. You wished you could just hate it. By all means you should have hated it, but you had been so desperate for a connection that none of it seemed to matter.

Silent tears still fell down your face.

“Hey, sweetheart, are you okay?” A soft voice asked you. It was Steve. Bucky must have orchestrated this, too.

“Go away.”

“I know this is a lot but I don’t want you to be by yourself. We can talk about this.”

“Did Bucky call you?”

“I was already on my way here. I figured we needed to talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Then I’ll talk. I know you’re mad. You have every right to be. There were better ways we could have done this. But for now I just want you to know that Bucky and I love you. We both just wanted what was best for you and we shouldn’t have tried to figure that out without you.”

“You’re both idiots.”

“We know. Trust me, we know.”

You would have to face them sooner or later. Sitting on the floor wasn’t helping you make any progress or making this situation any more better. So you stood up and opened the door. Steve was right there and opened his arms toward you. You fell into his embrace. His hands came to gently wipe away your tears while he held you.

“What happens now?” you asked.

“You can make a choice,” Bucky said. You hadn’t even noticed he was in the room. Looking past Steve, you saw he had been sitting in the bed and was coming toward you. One of his hands rested on your hip.

“You can choose whatever you want. We can pretend like none of this ever happened. Or, if you want, you can have both of us,” he explained. You looked between the two of them incredulously.

Both of them?

You hadn’t even considered it. Why would you? Up until last night you didn't want to be anywhere near Steve. Then this morning you barely wanted Bucky. You had half a mind to leave both of them hanging.

But you knew you wouldn’t.

Steve was quiet as he held you close to him but Bucky took your silence as hesitance. 

“We both love you and I know Steve can love you in a different way than I can.”

Steve leaned to kiss you and you reciprocated but it felt odd with Bucky watching.

“Can we show you how much we love you and go from there?” Steve asked. You took a breath and nodded. Your heart was nearly beating out of your chest.  

“Calm down, baby girl,” Bucky said, letting his hands glide down your hips. 

You were shaking, nervous. Bucky kissed your cheek. His warm hands roamed up your thighs before catching the end of your dress. He pulled it up over your head and sat it on the dresser. Steve kissed you again and your knees nearly gave out. Steve began unclasping your bra and removing it while Bucky pulled your underwear down your legs, leaving kisses and little bite marks as he went. They laid you on the bed and you stared up at them.

“Tell us what you want.” Steve said. His hands massaged your calf gently. You shook your head.

“I don’t know.” This was a lot. It was new and confusing. A bit exciting. Your nerves were driving you up the wall. Bucky pulled your legs open and they both looked at you. Steve groaned at the sight.

“Buck, she’s dripping.”

“I know, Stevie. Why don’t you clean her up?”

Steve kneeled at the edge of the bed and pulled you down by your legs until he could prop your thighs over his shoulders. The material of his shirt rubbed against the flushed skin at the back of your thighs.

“Wait,” you said. They both looked at you expectantly.

“Umm, can you both get undressed?”

Steve nodded and pulled away. His shirt was unbuttoned and put in the dresser. Bucky threw his own on a chair across the room. Their eyes didn’t leave your glistening sex as they removed their bottoms. When Steve stepped out of his jeans, his thick cock strained against his fitted boxers, leaving a wet spot at the head. Bucky didn’t have any underwear on as he palmed his cock with his hungry eyes set on you.

Steve settled between your legs again after pulling his underwear off. The bare skin of his shoulders against your thighs felt a lot better. He pulled you close, sniffing at your sex and leaving kisses on your inner thighs. Bucky’s flesh arm roamed across your breasts while the other worked at his cock.

Steve plunged his tongue into your wetness. While his tongue massaged your insides, his nose brushed against your clit. You shivered at the feeling and he shook his head to stimulate you further. Your hands grabbed at the blond hair between your legs. 

“You like Stevie’s mouth on you, baby?” Bucky asked, pinching your nipple. 

You stammered out a yes. Steve pulled his tongue out of you to focus his mouth on your clit. His tongue drew patterns against you and you bucked into the feeling. Steve held your hips down and pressed a wet kiss to your thigh before returning to suck at your clit. Your back arched off the bed and Bucky pushed you down gently.

“He loves your pussy. He’s been wanting to taste you for so long,” Bucky told you. He leaned down to suck one of your nipples into his mouth while his flesh hand played with the other. His metal one trailed across your abdomen, just holding you as you writhed.

Steve sucked harder and your body jolted. Your nails dug into the sheets, trying to steady yourself. Steve managed to pull you somehow even closer to him. His face was pressed against you, licking and sucking at your pearl. Between the two men holding you, you didn’t have much room to move. 

“Steve,” you managed to pant between moans. He groaned a response between your legs. Bucky pulled his mouth off your breast and gave you a smile.

“You gonna cum, baby?”

You nodded frantically. The tension in your core was steadily rising and you could feel it about to break.

“I wanna see you cum all over his face. Get him all dirty. Can you do that for me?”

He didn’t have to ask again. Your vision went white with pleasure. His tongue was still thrashing at you, working you through it. The tension in your core released and exploded inside you, leaving your body shaking and writhing on the mattress. 

Steve only stopped when you pushed him away from overstimulation. When he did pull away, his face was covered in the results of your orgasm. Bucky groaned at the sight.

“I wanna taste her, too, Stevie,” Bucky said. 

Steve grabbed Bucky’s face and pulled him closer, giving him an open mouthed kiss. You let out a little gasp of surprise. Their tongues lashed against each other while they both moaned into the kiss. Their bodies leaned over you, all hard planes of muscle and chiseled features. One hundred percent Grade A beef in your face. 

Your eyes were blown wide with desire. That was definitely the hottest thing you had ever seen. You’d had minor suspicions about them before but seeing it with your own eyes was something else. Something you think you liked.

Before you could appreciate it further, their attention was back on you. Hands running over your thighs, hips, breasts. Hot kisses pressed along the skin of your neck and arms.

“Tell us what you want, sweetheart,” Steve whispered in your ear. Bucky was on your other side, lightly biting at your earlobe.

It was a hard decision. There was just so much of them. So many possibilities. Your mind ran wild with thoughts of what could be. The attention they gave you made you feel confident this wouldn’t be the last time this happened. So you chose the first thing that came to mind.

“I want to ride you.” As soon as the words left your mouth, you were being maneuvered into a different position. You almost had whiplash from how quickly you went from laying down to having both men helping you slide onto Steve’s dick. You winced when your hips met his. Steve was...a lot. 

They both stroked your back, waiting for the pain to subside. After your breathing slowed and the ache between your legs let up, you tried to pull yourself up and failed. Your legs were like jello. Steve took over, grabbing your ass and pulling you up and down his cock. 

In this position, Steve’s blue eyes bore into your own. Crossed with lust, you could see all the adoration he stared at you with. All the love he poured into this act with you. A little smile graced his face. He held you close to him, close enough that your clit brushed against his skin with every thrust.

You hid your face in his chest to get away from the intensity of his gaze.

Behind you, you could hear Bucky rummaging around in the dresser. When he closed it and returned, you could feel his presence at your back. His metal hand followed the curve of your spine and down to the tiny hole behind where Steve was filling you. You whimpered as he gently pressed his finger there.

“Our pretty girl likes when you play with her ass, Stevie.”

You were trying to pay attention to what Bucky was doing, but Steve’s cock spearing into you was more than distracting. A glance behind you showed Bucky uncapping a bottle of lube, squeezing a generous amount onto his fingers. His lust blown eyes met yours before returning to his task. 

A smooth metal finger slid into your ass, pushing past the resistance of the tight ring of muscle. Your nails dug into Steve’s biceps at the feeling. The momentum from Steve’s thrusts was also taking his finger deeper inside you. You let out a loud moan and Steve pet your hair affectionately.

“You like that, sweetheart? You like when he plays with your ass?”

You could barely form words. You nodded against his chest, squeezing his biceps while Bucky worked you open with the lube. He carefully slid another finger in beside the first. 

“Tell me you love me,” you said breathlessly, looking up at Steve. 

He grabbed your chin and pressed your forehead to his.

“I love you so much. You’re so special to me. You’re doing so good taking my cock and his fingers.”

You moaned, squeezing around them both. The fullness was amazing. Bucky left kisses at your back while his hand worked inside you. Steve returned his hand to your ass, pulling you down on both of them harder. Just as you felt your orgasm coming, Steve pulled you off of his cock and Bucky pulled his fingers from you

You screamed in frustration but Steve just laughed. Then shushed you as he laid you on your back. Bucky was on the bed beside you and Steve crawled between your legs, lining up and pushing into you again. You wrapped your hand around Bucky’s cock.

“Put your dick in my mouth,” you demanded. Bucky’s eyes widened.

“Straight to the point, huh?”

He moved closer to you and you leaned toward him to have a better angle. You licked a stripe up his member before popping the head of his cock in your mouth. He groaned, putting a hand in your hair. You took him as far as you could into your throat, using your hand for the rest of him. Steve gave a particularly hard thrust and your throat contracted in a gasp.

“Fuck. Whatever you’re doing, Steve, keep doing it.”

Steve held your hips firmly, rutting into you with deep thrusts. You let Bucky take over fucking your face while you tried to relax your breathing.

“Your mouth is so good, baby.” Your tear filled eyes met his, dark and wanting.

Steve ran his thumb over your clit and you moaned around your husband. His touch left you wriggling your hips closer to him, reminding you of how close you had been before changing positions. You set your hand on Bucky’s thigh while he used you.

“You’re so tight, sweetheart. I’m gonna cum inside you. You want me to fill you up?” Steve was leaning closer to you, speaking lowly with his fingers still rubbing on your clit.

His words, the closeness, all of the skin touching yours and Bucky inside you, pushed you over the edge. You shook, moaning around the cock in your mouth. Steve was still going inside you, erratic thrusts slowing down as he approached his end. 

“Fuck, baby girl, I’m gonna cum,” Bucky warned above you. 

His cum came out in hot spurts down your throat, so much that it flooded your mouth. Bucky thrusted a few more times in your mouth before pulling out. A bit of his cum dripped down your cheek. You cleaned it up with your finger and popped in back in your mouth, savoring the taste.

Steve was a goner as soon as he saw the exchange between you and Bucky. The sight of you swallowing his cum was too much. You pushed into you one final time, filling you with his seed. Your body jerked from aftershocks of pleasure as he came.

His mouth met yours in a kiss. The taste of Bucky was still heavy in your mouth and you shared it with Steve, your tongues swirling around each other playfully. Bucky went in the bathroom and came back with a towel so you all could clean up.

Even with how relaxed you were from your orgasms, your mind still resorted to panic once it was over. Bucky saw the look in your eyes and kissed you, gently and full of love. You were pulled to lay on Steve’s chest and Bucky came behind you, laying an arm over both of you. You relaxed into their touch. You felt safe. Warm. Happy. Loved. 

Maybe sharing wouldn’t be so bad. 

Taglist: @americasass81 @stupendousshepherdloverpony @ilovesupersoldiers @astrobabezblog @blue-ishx @xoasalxo @xoxabs88xox @momc95

Some tags didn’t work :(

Thanks for all the love you guys have given this story. I had no motivation to write this chapter then I was drunk at 3am watching the Powerpuff Girls and I got hit with a writing bug. All That’s Best is probably my next update or a new (not dark) Bucky x Reader series I’ve been working on, if you want to be tagged in either one of those let me know. ♥️ Mahi

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Whumptober Day 12: Definitely Broken Something

Summary: Written for Whumptober Day 12. There are certain things about his time on Dragon's Edge that Hiccup doesn't want his father to know. The Dragon Riders think otherwise and what is supposed to be an effort to help their friend leads to friction instead.

NOTE: Nothing explicit happens in the fic. The non-con elements are referenced and implied, little is stated literally.

Rating: Mature

Characters: Hiccup, Toothless, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Tuffnut

Pairing: None

Words: 3 151

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Prompt: "Broken Down” + “Broken Trust”

Whumpee: Hiccup + The Gang

Author’s Notes: Kinda nervous to post this one because I don't really delve into this particular territory. That and a little nervous that Hiccup will be way too out of character.

Also had to choose between this idea and another one that also involves the Riders breaking Hiccup's trust, but I think I'll be writing that one someday in the future.

Constructive criticism is appreciated!

Enjoy!

Extra Author’s Notes: What Astrid is talking about is actually a reference to a previous fic of mine that I wrote a long time ago by now.

It talks about the event during Midnight Scrum that is brought up in this fic.

Ao3: Actual Fic

Ao3: Midnight Scrum Fic

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"So, we're really doing this?" Tuffnut's question hangs in the air as an uncomfortable silence weighs on the shoulders of ever Rider present in the clubhouse. That being every Rider except for Hiccup, who is up in his forge and not a part of this conversation.

He doesn't even know they're all gathered here, believing them to be doing their own thing.

Toothless, however, has taken a brief break from his human to be present. There are certain concerns the Dragon Riders have that they wanted to discuss. And with their close bond, it seems right to have him here as well.

The Night Fury looks almost uncannily human the way he's sitting on his hind legs, his forelegs crossed on the table between the six of them, and his head resting on top of them.

He doesn't like being here, but after the past week, he agreed to come when Astrid managed to tear him away from Hiccup.

A week ago, they'd been captured by Viggo. It was one of many times, too many times, more then they'd like to admit. And just like with every other time they've been at the hands of Viggo Grimborn nowadays, Hiccup tends to be affected for days afterward.

They all are in one way or another, of course. Being captured, having your friends captured with you, and not know what's about to happen to any of you is a terrifying thing. Despite their tendency to survive the unsurvivable and get out of every nasty situation, they get in somehow, getting captured is something that will never stop being a scary thing.

But once they get out, what they usually suffer from the most is a hurt pride, a sleepless night or two, a feeling of powerlessness that is soon overtaken by the need to do better and finally best the Dragon Hunters once and for all.

And then there is Hiccup and the way he behaves after a private audience with the Hunter Chief himself because Viggo rarely lets him stay with his friends. Whenever he gets his hands on him, he never fails to separate Hiccup from them.

Whatever goes on when the door to Viggo's cabin closes is a gap in their knowledge that only their imagination can fill. And seeing the way Hiccup acts afterward, what they imagine isn't nice.

He jumps at shadows, he's so tense you can see his muscles growing stiff from being overworked. The natural way the Dragons and Riders alike touch each other is no longer wanted. At least, no longer from the latter. One time it even got to the point that Hiccup was reluctant to let Fishlegs take a look at a rather nasty bruise on his side that worried them, not wanting to be touched by anyone. That he refuses to speak about anything that happens when it's just him and Viggo doesn't sit well with them either.

This time it's particularly bad as he's barely getting any sleep, he's not eating, he keeps looking over his shoulder, and he's well on his way to work himself to death. The worst part about this? This isn't even the worst Hiccup's been.

There is this one moment, it happened after Hiccup had been kidnapped for the bounty on his head, Astrid only knows about it because Heather told her and then she ended up telling the Riders. They don't like to even think about it.

So the Riders have decided that enough is enough and that is why they have gathered here tonight. For Hiccup's well-being, they have decided, unanimously, to tell Stoick.

Hiccup doesn't want his father to know and he's not going to be happy when they tell him, but they feel like they have little choice.

The Viggo obsession was already bad enough, but with every capture, Hiccup is worse off. It's gotten to the point that Hiccup would rather choose death than be captured again if he had been given a choice.

That is a terrifying thought. So naturally, they want any and all help they can get to keep that from happening, and who better to help than Hiccup's own father?

They've discussed this decision, quietly, they've come to an accord, and now they sit in silence while the past half an hour slowly sinks in.

Tuffnut's question; "we're really doing this?" are the first words spoken in the past five minutes. That they have been quiet for that entire time is an accomplishment for a group as talkative as theirs.

There is no answer because they all know that it remains the same. They are doing this. Stoick might not take it well, Hiccup certainly won't appreciate it, but they are still doing this. They have to. For Hiccup's sake, they have to.

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They told him. They told Stoick the Vast the one thing his son has been keeping from him. It went... better than they expected it to go.

They'd expected him to shout, to scream, go on an angry tirade about Viggo Grimborn and his son and about what he would do to the former for hurting the latter.

Instead, Stoick had sat there in his chair and listened to every word they had to tell him. He was strangely calm, more than they would ever imagine him to be. Considering his temper and his love for his son, it was truly bewildering to see him take everything so... well?

That is the only word they can use for the way their Chief reacted to the information given to him. And it wasn't even given to him by his son, but by his son's friends a little over three hours ago now. Although, it could very well be the calm before the storm that they dealt with. The shock may have even kept him from taking it all in, maybe it all still needed to sink in.

When he dismissed them, though, Astrid had taken a look back to find the mountainous man sink in his chair. The news had hit hard, despite Stoick's calm reaction, and he'd covered his face with a big hand as he seemingly  and quietly collapsed.

They're all in the former Dragon Academy now.

"You know, I think he took it well." Snotlout breaks the silence as he brushes Hookfang's scales. Nightmares can set themselves on fire on command due to their flammable saliva, which coats their entire bodies. It helps to get old gel off their hides so an entirely new layer can take its place. The dragon is thoroughly enjoying this pampering.

"Yeah, I suppose. Stoick usually gets so angry so easily, I was afraid he would explode right then and there." Fishlegs responds, thinking back to how nervous he'd been before the talk. He's sitting on a stool with Meatlug's saddle on his lap as he polishes it and keeps the leather fed.

"I think what we really need to worry about is him exploding on Hiccup." Astrid joins in on the conversation as she helps Stormfly preen. It goes a little quiet again after that. For at least a good couple of moments.

"But he won't, right? Stoick knows none of that is Hiccup's fault, so he won't get angry! Right?" Tuffnut asks hopefully. His sister shares his worries.

"Well, only one way to find out," Ruffnut speaks up as well, voice going softer as her eyes fall on the gate leading out of the dragon training ring.

They all look over and see Hiccup coming down with Toothless following close behind. Just from the way he walks they can tell he's angry.

The Dragon Riders share a look and the Riders approach to meet him halfway, hearts pounding with anxiety. They've dealt with Hiccup angry before, but they can tell from his expression that this is something entirely different.

"Hey Hiccup, did you see your-"

"Oh, I saw him alright. Went in right after you guys left, which I thought was suspicious because what was your business with my father? Can't believe I was actually right to be worried, you guys... you guys... I believe any of you!" Hiccup cuts off whoever it is that attempts to talk to him, something he already doesn't do often. His voice trails off after it is already threatening to rise in volume and the pacing starts.

The Riders share another look. This already doesn't look like it's going to be pleasant, but hopefully, it won't be too bad.

"He interrogated me for the past three hours! Three hours! Asking ridiculous things like "what did he say?", "has he ever made you feel a certain way", "did he touch you?", "did he ever try to force..." Hiccup's fists tighten at the mention of the questions he needed to endure. He's angry. He's so, so angry. He throws his fists down, frustrated with the lack of relief.

"Thanks a lot for that, by the way. For not just breaking my trust, but telling my dad of all people!" He stills as he gives them his false gratitude, glaring at them. The kind of questions his father asked him over and over and over again... Sometimes he just used a different kind of wording to still trick him to get a confession out of him.

"Did he ever make you do things against your will?"

"Did he ask for certain things in trade?"

"How far did he get?"

It's all too much for him to bear. His dad was never supposed to know! His friends were never even supposed to know.

He has to pace, he's too restless to stand still.

It's humiliating, that's what it is. This is something between him and Viggo. His father has no business knowing any of this. And so it turns out, neither do his Riders.

"We're breaking your trust?" Fishlegs asks, hating the sound of that. If there is something even worse than disappointing Hiccup, it's tainting his trust in you.

Hiccup briefly looks at him, contemplating if he should answer.

This is, was, a purely private matter. There is such emotion in his eyes, tears mixed with boiling anger. The former he refuses to show. They can all see the tension in his face as he tries to hide them.

"I can't believe that you guys would conspire against me like that!" He tells them with a finger up in disbelieve, his voice unnervingly soft.

The Riders' eyes nearly bulge out of their skulls.

"Conspire?!"

"Why phrase it like that?"

"Hiccup, we aren't doing this to hurt you."

The amount of protests almost makes it impossible for anyone to hear what anyone is saying and who's saying it.

"Than tell me why it feels that way? This was private and I told you guys to leave it alone, that I would deal with this myself, that my dad never needed to know, and what did you do?!" He raises his voice, throwing a hand up.

"Hiccup, we really weren't trying to hurt you. We thought it would be for the best if your dad knew what was going on with you." Astrid comes forward, wants to place a hand on his shoulder, but Hiccup shrugs it off, and goes back to pacing.

"I worked so hard to get to where I am now. To have this relationship with him and you guys know this and you just went and-" He stops himself, fists balling in frustration. The pacing, the balling, the wild gestures, he can't stop repeating them, it's like he's stuck in a loop that he can't escape from.

They could've destroyed everything. Everything he's done the past three years, everything he's achieved, they could've ruined it all just because Viggo is a little too creepy with their leader for their liking. The good reputation he has in his father's eyes, his father's trust in him, their entire relationship! Everything that he finally has after it was denied for so many years and they don't even realize it.

How can he still trust them after this? With anything? His want to cry grows, these people are supposed to be his friends.

The Dragon Riders watch him pace, watch him have the closest thing to a mental breakdown as he walks nervous circles before them. No energy and yet at the same time too restless and angry to stand still.

Seeing that he may need to intervene, Toothless coos at him, daring a few steps forward, but Hiccup wants little to do with him at the moment, too.

"Oh, don't even try, you knew! You knew what they were planning and you let it happen!" With an upset rumble, Toothless backs away. He knew Hiccup would be angry, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt.

Toothless knows Hiccup won't hate him, their bond is simply too unbreakable for that, but that look of betrayal is more than he can bear.

The Night Fury tried to keep him from going in before he managed to slip past. He knows exactly what Stoick has been told and this is how Hiccup knows he knows.

"What did you tell him?" Fishlegs asks carefully, as if any of them even want to know.

"What do you think, Fishlegs? The truth!"

"How did he take it-"

"-That you guys were seeing things and that I'm just stressed out." As Hiccup adds that before they can finish asking, the Riders are given a second surprise this late afternoon.

"You told him what?" Ruffnut asks, dumbfounded.

"Dude, did you... Did you gaslight us in front of your dad?" Snotlout has a hard time formulating his question, but he's the only one who dares ask. It seems too crazy to even think about.

No one has ever seen this side of Hiccup before, has ever even thought him capable of such a thing, but apparently, reality is indeed stranger than fiction.

"Well, what other choice did I have? Tell him that everything you told him was true? Which it isn't, by the way. Viggo's implied some things, nothing more!" There he goes with another wild gesture. They don't believe his claim that it's all just words, but they also have no prove, Hiccup hasn't told them anything, after all.

"But it's enough to hurt you! We've all seen it, Hiccup!" Astrid tries to argue, emphasis on "tries".

"No, you haven't! What you guys have been seeing is stress! Stress because I want to beat him and be rid of the Dragon Hunters! That's all! Why can you guys see that?" He asks. Why can't they?! That's all it is!

"Hiccup, you don't eat, you don't sleep, you jump at the smallest of things-"

"Stress!"

"Sometimes you can't stand being in the same room as us because you're terrified of something you don't tell us about!"

"Stress!"

"Stress doesn't make you try to jump ship when your hands are tied and kill yourself!" Astrid, having had enough, snaps back. Her eyes are watery as well, well on their way to becoming red. She's choking up.

Hiccup stares at her, this time it's his turn to be in shock again. And looking at the others, he can see that they aren't surprised to hear her say that. They know.

So that explains why his dad tried to ask him if he had any "certain bad tendencies or bad thoughts". That's the way Gobber made him word it because, oh yes, his other father figure was there, too. He'd come to welcome his student back when he caught him and Stoick in a heated talk.

This day couldn't get any worse.

"We know about it. Astrid got worried and-"

"And went behind my back apparently, I'm starting to see a pattern. Tell me, how does Heather come into all of this? Or is she the only one I can actually trust?" Hiccup cuts Snotlout off when he, for once, jumps to the shieldmaiden's defense. Nobody answers and he doesn't know if that's a yes or a no.

Astrid approaches.

"You know what, I'm done with this. We're not talking about this anymore. Not about Viggo, not about what happened on Savage's ship, we're not talking about anything." Hiccup cuts Astrid off, throwing his hands up as if in defeat. He rubs in his eyes, wiping some of the tears away.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have some damage control to do with my father. Because that is what happens when your best friends tell him something he was never meant to know." The truth is, he's ready to burst and he wants to be far away from him.

He wants to cry and shout and kick the nearest object to him, which so happens to be a barrel. And he's honestly not sure if he wants his Dragon Riders to see that after what they'd done.

They could've ruined him, could've finished digging the hole Viggo has begun to dig since the start of this war. If he doesn't fix their mess now, he might never recover.

And he doesn't want to go back to those days before Toothless, not for something as stupid as this.

With no more words needing to be said, the Riders certainly don't want to try anymore, Hiccup turns around and leaves. Toothless knows better than to follow him this time. He'll have to go to him eventually, they share a room. But for now, his human obviously needs his space.

They watch him go, hearts broken and bleeding. It is silent for a good while before someone dares to say something again.

"Well, that was...."

"Horrible? A disaster? Devastating?" Ruffnut finishes Snotlout's sentence, using all kinds of words to describe what this exchange had been like to them.

"Yeah,"

Fishlegs approaches Astrid and lays a hand on her shoulder. She's trying to suppress her tears, they all are, though Fishlegs and Tuffnut are failing to do so.

"Hey, huh, we're going to be okay, right?" He asks with genuine worry that this may cause a rift between them and Hiccup.

There was one before, they would rather not have it there again.

Astrid looks at him, but doesn't respond.

"Of course we're going to be okay! This is Hiccup we're talking about! He's the most forgiving person ever. We'll talk about it again, he'll understand our side, and then its bygones are bygones." Snotlout doesn't sound as hopeful as he's trying to make his words to sound like.

"That's not how that saying goes..." Fishlegs mutters.

It grows quiet again and the Dragons go to their respective Riders, but which side has to comfort which is up for debate.

Hiccup's words that afternoon hurt them, but then, so had their decision to go behind his back to reveal sensitive information to the center of that information's father. It was all without his consent.

Whether they are going to be okay, is something only time can tell.

[fanficfeeling]

Lovely Part 2 - Jaskier x Reader

A/N: Hey everyone! Wow! Part 1 received far more positive feedback than I thought it would! I'm super grateful to everyone who read part one, or left a comment, or was just very encouraging, you've really helped re-spark my love for writing <3 Boy, this took way too long to finish, but I just really wanted to make sure it held up the first part at least a little! I hope you enjoy this part as well, and I'm planning on writing at least one more part to this after this, so let me know if your interested in that/how much more of this story you're interested in seeing! Either way I'm planning on continuing to write for The Witcher, and on starting to post for other fandoms (of which I'll be posting a list soon!) so if you like my work please follow or just keep an eye out! Love you guys.

Summary: 3 times Jaskier has done his best to distract Y/N from the less enjoyable parts of her life.

Part 1

Warnings: Brief language warning.

Tagged: @failure-of-the-day (I might be assuming but I thought you might like to be tagged!) @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @blue-hoodies-for-life @athenaisalpha

~~

Y/N found out rather quickly that spending time with Jaskier is a surefire way to bring a smile to her face. Her job can be depressing, Geralt is often silent at the most inopportune times, and travelling for such long distances can be boring, but Jaskier is none of those things, and often goes out of his way to grab her attention from that which brings down her mood.

For instance, moments like this one: Y/N has returned to this small town's inn after helping the townspeople for the day, feeling like the weight of the world is on her shoulders after the day she's had. Geralt hasn't returned from his monster slaying yet, so she seeks out Jaskier for company.

When she finds him in his room, he's laying on his bed, writing something down on a piece of paper haphazardly, using his propped-up knee as a work surface. As impractical as the position seems, he looks comfortable: laid back, his normal, fancier wear tossed aside for a simple white shirt and comfortable trousers, and a smile upon his face. It take Y/N all of a second to decide that the look does him great justice.

"Jaskier." Y/N starts, making him aware of her presence.

He looks up, briefly startled, but when his eyes come to rest on her, his smile widens, "Hello, Y/N."

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm back in for the evening."

"I'm glad! It was getting boring around here with no company. Please, come in, sit down." Y/N expects him to gesture to the chair against the wall in invitation, but he simply moves his feet and makes room on his bed for her. She means to be more proper about coming into his space, but as she approaches, she finds that she ends up throwing herself down onto the bed, her exhaustion weighing down her bones.

This seems to be the first time Jaskier notices her mood is off, "Hey, everything alright?"

Y/N looks at him sheepishly, "Just a long day is all. How was yours?"

Taking the hint that she wasn't up for talking about it, Jaskier indulges her, "I started writing a new song today, and I have to admit, it's taken up pretty much all of my time. It's-"

It's all Y/N can do to stay focused on his words for that long, as images of ill people, broken homes, and crying children fill her mind. This town is lucky to have an inn still standing, considering all the havoc beasts nearby have caused. Why must monsters even have to exist like this at all? Why must innocent people suffer for mindless, bloodthirsty crazes? Why does Y/N dedicate herself to cleaning up messes that aren't even hers?

"Y/N?" She looks up at Jaskier at the sound of his persistent voice, and it isn't until she attempts to speak that she realizes she's begun crying. She also finds that she can't find anything to say to him to make an excuse for her state.

He doesn't question any further though, and swiftly gives her a soft smile, before setting aside his papers and opening his arms, beckoning her towards him.

She doesn't even think about it as she crawls towards him and re-positions herself so that he can envelop her in a hug, as she lays her head against his chest. Just being there quickly quiets the tears, but Jaskier doesn't let go, and for that Y/N is grateful.

They sit in silence as Y/N calms herself, and eventually Jaskier leans down a little bit to kiss her forehead and whisper, "Whatever you've been through, please just remember that I'm here for you and that your soul is good, and deserves to be returned the help and goodness that you give."

Oh yeah, that's why she does it all. However hard it can be, it's the good she does that keeps her moving.

~~~

The next time Jaskier goes out of his way to lift Y/N's mood, Y/N and Geralt are sitting at a table in another tavern, completely silent. Normally Y/N has no issues with respecting their silence, she often enjoys it, but her work involved a lot of repairs today, and she barely had any human connection at all throughout the day. She fidgets, doing her best not to disturb Geralt as he seems to contemplate something—she knows he has his own demons swimming around in his mind—but she worries that if she doesn't do something stimulating soon, she very well might burst.

Jaskier descends from the rooms above the tavern space, looking to begin his own work for the night as an entertainer. He had gotten permission from the owner of this establishment earlier in the day to perform in the space, and as it got on into the evening, he knew that now was his prime time. He had cleaned himself up, decided on his song list, and was ready to go.

As he looked around the tavern sizing up his audience, his eyes came to rest upon his travelling companions. Geralt seems lost in thought, and Y/N... Y/N seems downright bored. Knowing that she's been having a rough go of it lately with her work, Jaskier quickly decides that he cannot let this stand.

He swiftly changes his course and makes his way towards their table, a plan only half formed in his mind, and when he stops in front of them he finds himself asking, "Y/N, could I ask a favor of you?"

She looks at him, curiosity in her eyes and a soft smile on her mouth—a goddess in the flesh, he thinks—and he continues, "I have some songs that I was planning on playing tonight, and I would like to see how they fare as duets. Would you join me?"

Jaskier doesn't know by what miracle she says yes, and neither does she, really, but soon the two fall into a groove that brings the attention, and coin, of the patrons. They stumble through the first few songs, rousing some laughs from their audience, until they get to "Toss A Coin To Your Witcher", and the audience joins in singing with them. The pair puts on a show as they sing and they dance, and the audience adores it.

After a rendition (or several) of Jaskier's hit song, many of their audience members start to fall away, so the bard takes that as a hint to start slowing things down.

"Y/N, how would you feel about rounding this performance off by performing "Her Sweet Kiss" with me?"

Y/N's heart skips a beat. She's heard the way he sings that song, and the emotion he puts into it is always enough to bring her near to tears.

"I would be honored."

He starts the beginning off himself, and cues her when to come in. "So tell me love, tell me love, how is that just?" Jaskier never breaks eye contact with Y/N as they sing, and she utters no complaints as it feels like he bears his soul to her while gazing deeply into hers.

"I'm weak, my love, and I am wanting. If this is the path I must trudge, I'll welcome my sentence, give to you my penance, garroter, jury, and judge."

When Y/N had wished for human interaction, this was not what she had expected, but fuck her if it wasn't far better.

As the song comes to a close, Y/N still can't find it in her to look away from his eyes, but luckily for her, it seems that neither can he. The applause of the crowd goes unnoticed by both until the moment passes on its own.

"Thank you, for doing this with me, Y/N."

"Thank you for asking, Jaskier."

~~~

While traveling is, of course, a luxury, just the act of getting somewhere new isn't always the most enjoyable of activities. Travelling may be an integral part of Y/N's job, but knowing that is rarely enough to make her feel better about her soreness from riding her horse, or the boredom she feels as they slowly move along on empty side roads, past endless fields. Yet, this is ultimately a part of her job, so she grins and bears it for the satisfaction of helping people and the coin it brings.

Jaskier, in all his many observations of this captivating do-gooder, begins to notice that she rarely has a good time between locations. He notices that she has no way to occupy herself, besides just listening to him ramble, and he notices that she doesn't seem to plan on doing anything to remedy that situation. So, he resolves to do so himself.

"Y/N," He begins as he sits on her horse behind her, one arm wrapped around her waist. "How would you like to play a game?"

"A game? Why?"

"Because I'm terribly bored and would like to hear your lovely voice. Are you in?"

"Oh, uh, I suppose I am, yes."

"Okay then. I spy, with my little eye-" Her laughter that follows is enough to make Jaskier's heart light. Making her laugh always makes him just a little bit happier.

He hears Geralt groan next to them on Roach, and watches in amusement as he begins to trot further up ahead of them.

"What a grumpy, grumpy man. Alright, hush now, or you'll miss the object. Anyways, I spy, with my little eye, something very long and brown."

"Oh, oh, is it the tree trunks?"

"Very close but not quite. Something dusty."

"The road!"

"Ding ding ding! You've got it!" She laughs once more at his enthusiasm.

"My turn then! I spy, with my little eye, something... big and blue."

Jaskier pretends to think for a moment, and then feigns surprise as he exclaims, "The sky!"

He thinks her joyful laughter is stopping his heart by now, but he's certain he might fall off the horse when she says, "I could preserve this round for a little longer and say 'It was actually your eyes', but that might be a little obvious, huh?"

He rests his head on her shoulder and attempts to look at her face. "That gives me an idea. I spy, with my little eye, something lovely."

A blush breaks out across her face immediately, but she tries not to make assumptions. "Oh, uh... those flowers on the side of the road?"

"Not quite. A bit closer to me." She swears she can feel his arms tighten around her just a fraction.

"Then... is it the horse? You two seem to get along quite well." He chuckle is deep, and she can feel the motion against her back.

"I do love Cinnamon dearly, but you're still a bit off. Try again."

Y/N's breath hitches in her throat, and she glances to the side to look at him, finding him closer than she expected. "Lovely? Is it, uh... me, then?" His smile is enough to make her think her heart will soon burst out of her chest.

"Very good. You're excellent at this. Fancy another round?"

It takes her several minutes to calm down, but she gets into their game again, and sure enough, before either of them even know it, they've reached their destination. They both find themselves a little sad when they have to let go and get off of Cinnamon, but the feeling of being so close doesn't leave either of them for hours.  

Yes, Y/N reflects, everything really does get better with him around.

Yeah, Jaskier thinks, I wouldn't trade a second with her for anything.

[hank-mcdankblade]

I Know A Bottom When I See One Princess  (Part 4)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary

Chapter 1: You and Dean have been pals for as long as you can remember, practically raised together. Are things still the same as you remembered when you reconnect with him after a couple years apart? Well there is one thing you see differently and you’re about to call him out on it.

Chapter 2:  After you flirt back with Dean you start to rethink all of your life choices. Why did you flirt back instead of making fun of him? God it would be so much easier if you were just a genderless blob. Hopefully the new supernatural case a friend of your mom’s gives you will distract you from all this romance mumbo jumbo.

Chapter 3: You and Dean both start to realize your feelings are not what you both originally anticipated them to be. If only you two could actually talk like adults instead of bantering like childish 8 year olds. The case picks up when you see a certain someone’s name over every case, a certain boomer’s name.

Chapter 4: You and Dean do some sleuthing into Chrissy’s apparent death. After learning the truth your trip to Wendy’s/Jack in the Box gets interrupted by Chief douchebag. Rick takes the three of you on a nice drive to the mountains to introduce you to his daughter.

Word Count: 11,629 (R.I.P. my dudes)

Warnings: Swearing, Gore, Violence, Angst.

_____________________________________________________________________

        The sun rose softly with hues of orange gracing the sky. No one should be up this early, early enough for the Matrix to glitch out where a road should’ve been.  Ok it was like 9am and you both were being grumby children. Regardless, both you and Dean were suited up for the job today as fake reporters to go talk to that Chrissy girl. With your expert sleuthing, or rather just looking through the phone book, you found her address quite easily. Dean always wore his tried and true black suit. Other than his car, it was the only thing he actually invested money in. Meanwhile you tried something different today with a dark burgundy one. The last time you two had down time you made a trip to a fancy mall and got it. Dean was very close to convincing you to buying a gamecube, it was either the gamecube or the suit. One of you wasn’t very happy with the outcome of that shopping day, so he pouted for the entirety of the trip dreaming of playing Super Monkey Ball 2. But according to Dean you looked like Lois Lane in that suit so it all works out.

        Despite the grisly murders that happened here, the town had a nice spot. The temperature was warm but chill enough for a breeze, with snow capped mountains hanging in the background creating the perfect picturesque scene for a post card. The air was fresh and crisp and pinched your cheeks awake. After around fifteen minutes of driving, you pulled up onto a hectic scene. Some curious neighbors waited by their windows to catch a glimpse of the chaos. 

        “What the hell?” You muttered as you twisted yourself in your seat to get a better look. There were three cop cars, an ambulance, and a team of forensics surrounding Chrissy Hamilton’s house. The lawn was practically ruined with how many people had stomped all over it. Some employees were walking in and out of the house while others stayed still in one spot. Two beat cops were standing near their car talking amongst themselves. Dean parked the car and the two of you started towards Chrissy’s house. The chatter grew louder with each step.

        “Hey what happened here?” Dean nodded towards the door, quickly flashing his identification along with you to the authorities. The two beat cops standing in front of the driver’s side of the cop car turned to look at you both. They stared intensely at your identification before answering. It was above their pay grade to care about the hierarchy of information in the police department to question if you two were real. 

        “There was an accident here, Ms. Hamilton fell down her stairs and seemed to have broken her neck from impact.” The taller one explained. He looked like he was fresh out of the academy, hands situated onto his belt. More employees were running around the scene when in the background a familiar face caught your attention. Walking out of Chrissy’s house was none other than Rick Sullivan, Chief of Douchebags. His eyes darted everywhere and sweat poured out of his forehead like a really gross faucet. There would be no saving of his uniform in the washer, with how much sweat he produced he’d need to have it dry cleaned….You nudged Dean with your elbow, but his attention to the beat cops wouldn’t let up. As Rick Sullivan started walking towards his car you fit yourself in front of the two cops using them as shade. You subtly pulled Dean with you, leaning against the cool metal of the car door. You tried your best to look casual as your cover was being threatened. 

        “So it was an accident?” Dean asked. The two beat cops nodded. 

        “She could have tripped on something most likely, but the coroner will have an autopsy for us by the end of the day.” A click of a door sounded and Chief Sullivan was in his car. The pavement crunched under his tires as he backed out. Your eyes flitted to his position and yours, if he drove down in this direction he would see both your faces clear as day. 

        Clearing your throat as a transition, you clicked your heels against the road and walked around pretending to look at the house before tugging on Dean’s sleeve to follow you. “So did she live with family or alone?” Dean could tell you were antsy about something but couldn’t tell what it was. He followed your movements and turned his back to the house and faced the two cops again. 

        “She lived alone, has for years so it’s no wonder the accident happened.” The shorter one chimed in. He spoke of her as if the town knew who she was, like a stray cat. 

        “Who discovered the body if she lived alone?” Dean scribbled down all the info into a little notebook he bought for the investigation. He would never admit it, but he thoroughly enjoyed getting into a full costume. 

        “Chief Sullivan did.” Oh the one name you were hoping you wouldn’t hear. 

        “What made him go into the house?” You pushed further.

        “Not sure, just said he wanted to talk to her about the newspaper article in The Denver Times and he found her like that.” Something clicked in your mind and things were starting to make sense. 

        “Hmm, ok well thank you. If we have any more questions then we’ll come find you.” Your hollow intentions were spoken through a fake smile. Your hand grasped Dean’s jacket once more and spun him towards the impala. Your partner eyed you curiously.

        “Hey what’s up? I had more questions for them…” Dean pouted sticking his journalist’s notepad into his pocket. 

        “Rick Sullivan came out of that house, and he looked very nervous. He’s definitely more involved in this than anyone is letting on.” You stated as the two of you settled into the car to discuss more theories. 

        For the next couple of hours you and Dean had to keep a low profile while things settled down. There was no use in trying to sneak into that house when Chief Sullivan could hear about it from one of his lackeys crawling all over the premises, so you’d have to try after hours.

        Once the clock struck five you rolled up to the police department. It wasn’t the hive of action that you believed it would be, so there would less people to lie to and ask questions. Hopefully the Prince of A-Holes was at home chugging a beer and complaining about liberals. With the confident flash of a fake badge. and a smile you two were led to the coroner’s office with ease. If there was one thing you two learned about faking the identity of feds, it was act like you belong there and nobody will question you.

        There was only one person on staff. He looked up from a desk pushing his black hair out of his face and put his glasses down. “Can I help you?” A soft British accent curved the syllables of his sentence. 

        “Yes, Ms. Hamilton’s family hired us as private investigators.” With a change of I.D. both you and Dean were sporting P.I. badges and showed the nice man who were pretending to be this week. “We’d like to see the autopsy report.”

        “Of course,” The tall British man stood up and walked to the table Ms. Hamilton’s body was lying. He picked up a clipboard attached to the table and handed it to you. Dean came around and looked over your shoulder. 

Accidental Death Chrissy Hamilton contracted an infection in a cut from the bear attack in Grand Mesa National Forest.  The infection caused her to experience dizzy spells and fatigue resulting in her falling down the stairs and breaking her neck.

        Something in your gut constricted at this conclusion. The air in the room shifted as your disappointment grew stronger. “You’re sure that this is right?” You looked up from the report to see the young British man fidgeting in his spot. 

        “I wasn’t the one who did the report, I’m….still an intern.” The intern wrung his hands behind his back and adjusted his glasses again. Dean’s eyes were watching him intently, this boy was lying. He knew the look of a guilty man from anywhere.

        “But, did you take a peak for yourself?” Dean said taking a step closer to the intern. 

        “Well….yes, but only because I thought I was supposed to! Chief Sullivan had one of his guys do the report, but I don’t think it’s right.” The intern went back over to his desk and sifted through some papers to find one hidden deep in a folder, red pen marks all over it. 

        “Don’t worry, we’re not gonna report you. We’re just looking for the truth like you.” Dean spoke softly as he took the new report from the intern. 

Blunt Force Trauma 

There is an unexplained gash in the back of the woman’s head and bruises on her neck that mimic the marks of strangulation. 

The mark on her head would be from a hard object.

The neck breaking was done post mortem suggesting murder.

        “I fucking knew it.” You muttered under your breath looking over the new report, rereading it to make sure your eyes weren’t lying to you. You shook your head and paced trying to put everything together. Dean knew you wanted to get out of here as soon as possible, so he quickly took a picture of the report with his phone and gave it back to the intern.

        “Thank you for your help, we’ll be on our way now.” Dean flashed a smile and got your attention to leave. Your mind was fuzzy as you blindly followed your partner to the car. With all this evidence piling up against Chief Sullivan there was no possible way he wasn’t involved you just had to figure out why. 

        The next stop you two had on your errand list was to stop by Chrissy’s house to check the scene out for yourself. If Chief Sullivan had one of ‘his guys’ do the autopsy report, he most likely had one of ‘his guys’ inspect the house too. Neither of you trusted that man, so here you were parked three blocks away from the victim’s house dressed in dark clothes to match the night setting.

        Dean made quick work of the lock. He got pretty good after years of experience and many close calls of getting caught my the neighbors. “You impressed yet?” Dean smirked at you and opened the door.

        “Are you gonna say this every time we break in somewhere?”

        “Until it works, yes.” You walked through the threshold into the empty dust cave that was Chrissy’s house. 

        “Jesus Christ, I feel like I could get lung cancer in this house…” You swatted some dust particles away floating in the air. The inner decor suggested that four clumsy grandmas lived here. These rugs probably belonged to Jesus’s disciples, and light fixtures from the Vanderbilt age. 

        “Where should we start first?” Dean asked setting the bag of goodies on the floor. He opened it up and handed you a flashlight and a spray bottle filled with luminol. 

        “I’ll take the kitchen fixtures and you start on the stairs?” You suggested. Dean nodded and headed towards the closest railing. The only light illuminating this dark museum of antiquities was your phone flashlights put on a low setting. Dean started from the bottom of the stairs and worked his way up. There were a few spots that glowed from the chemical reacting with the cleaned up blood. Unfortunately Dean didn’t find a mosaic of glowing lights, but rather a scarce Jackson Pollock painting. 

        In the kitchen you were fairing much better. You started with the appliances like the fridge and dish washer but came up with nothing. Lights started to shine when you hit the kitchen table. “Dean, I got something!” Dean followed your voice and saw a bright blue glow on the table, and what do you know it fit the same shape as the gash on the victim’s head. 

        “So what’s the plan now? Go to the chief’s house and bust him?” Dean leaned against the kitchen table and crossed his arms. You gathered your supplies and pulled out a fresh wash cloth. 

        “No, we don’t have enough evidence. The most we can do is go after the monster itself and deal with him afterwards. Hopefully get him to confess.” As much as it angered you that this guy was probably going to get away, you needed to be sure that he was the one who hurt Chrissy. After all, he might just be some crotchety baby boomer which wouldn’t be news to you. You handed Dean a wash cloth and got to cleaning up after yourself until the house was left exactly as you entered it. 

        The walk back to the car was quiet. You both had a lot on your mind and a lot of puzzle pieces to fit together. The only thing left you both needed to do was get the biggest order of fries and absolutely destroy them before passing out. With a gentle crank, the impala was alive.

        “So, what’re you thinking? Jack in a Box or Wendy’s?” Dean asked pulling onto one of the main roads. The only light came from the posts on either side of the street, and a couple of porch lights from the quiet little neighborhood. The stars shined brightly away from the big city. 

        “I’m always a slut for Wendy’s.” Your words were cut short by the flashing of red and blue lights coming from every direction. Dean quickly pulled over confused as to what could possibly have warranted this action from the police. He was barely speeding and all of his head lights were still working. Nonetheless he stopped the car.

        “Step out of the car with your hands in the air!” A deep masculine voice shouted. Fear crept up your throat as you complied. It wasn’t like you couldn’t take these cops, a measly bullet wouldn’t put you down forever. But you couldn’t risk Dean’s life. Unlike you, he was human and he could get killed a lot easier than you. For now you would play nice, but the second Dean was safe they would be turned into a bloody mess. The bright flashlights distorted your vision. Your eyes could only see the miniature suns they created. The faces behind them were a mystery but the voices were familiar.

        “Officers what seems to be the problem?” They didn’t answer Dean’s question and opted to continue with the arrest. 

        “Hey! Watch it.” Hands grabbed at you and put your arms behind your back. A harsh push had you pinned up against the car while sir grabs a lot bound you with cuffs. You look across to see Dean serving the same fate. Two other cops opened the impala’s doors and started rummaging through it. 

        “You can’t do that without a warrant!” A hot anger was starting to burn a hole in Dean’s chest to see them handling his baby like this. 

        “All we need is probable cause.” That voice….was more familiar than the others. Out came Chief Sullivan, who seemed very pleased with himself. He looked to Dean, whose face was turning a new shade of red. 

        “And what probable cause is that? Were my hub caps too shiny? Maybe I was playing my devil’s rock music too loud for ya??” 

        “No maybe he’s just mad because he saw our liberal bumper stickers, and wanted to show us what his America is all about right? Show us some good old fashioned hospitality from the 1800s when you were just a young lad?”

        “(Y/N), that’s very uneducated of you to say. The colonizers came over to America in the 1400s.” 

        “Oh you’re right how stupid of me to say, hey what was Christopher Columbus like? A prick? I bet y’all got along. Probably had a lot of time to bond while killing indigenous people and taking their land.” Rick Sullivan swore the lord was testing him today. He unfolded two pieces of paper and on them were photos of you and Dean from the last time you got arrested. 

        “Looked up your license plates and found some very interesting information on you two.”

        “Was it that I was the only male cheerleader in my high-school? It’s actually very good for your health.”

        “No it might be my arrest record from when I killed the president.”

        “Oh shit I forgot about that!” 

        “Enough!” Dean and you looked at each other trying desperately not to bust out laughing. “Found that you two have a long record of credit card scams, identity theft, and impersonating the authorities. Bet we’ll find something real interesting in your car.” One of the cops popped out and was holding two black wallets. 

        “Chief I’ve got something.” You felt a sinking sensation in your chest start to form, this was going to be your whole night then.… Sullivan opened up the wallets and smirked to himself.

      �� “Well would you look at that, Private Investigator badges. Funny, I didn’t find your registration in the system. Put them in the back of my car.” The Chief looked on you both with a smug smile. Normally this situation would have had worried you to the point of your hair graying. But at this point you and Dean had been arrested a couple times before and knew that lying low and sneaking out of the holding cell was a better bet than assaulting as many cops as you could, as much as you and Dean loved to do so. The two deputies walked you both to Chief Sullivan’s car and threw you in the backseat. The plastic vinyl of the interior was cramped, forcing you to fold in on yourself just a tad to fit. The yellow police headlights illuminated Rick as he talked to the two deputies. 

        “Do you think the dinky place they’re sending us to is gonna have a bathroom this time?” Dean quipped. You scoffed, shaking your head thinking of the last place in Louisiana that got the drop on you. Each time you had to use the restroom, one of the deputies had to go through the long process of making sure Dean was up against the wall to prevent escape, then unlock the door whose key was on a literal ring with at least 13 other keys that they had to go through one by one each time, then finally escort you to the restroom. 

        “For our sakes I hope so cause I think I downed at least 5 red bulls, I’m sure this place will be just as small town classic as the last one. Break out at night?” Dean nodded to you. This was just one of your many go to plans that you kept in your back pocket. Luckily with your strength, tearing apart metal bars wasn’t hard and made escaping quite simple since these places usually didn’t even invest in a security system claiming that they could do it themselves. The soft slam of the driver’s car door brought your attention forward. 

        “Hey can we stop at Wendy’s? We haven’t had dinner yet.” Rick glared at you and chose to bring the car to leave with a hum instead of dignifying your question with an answer. The car pulled onto the road smoothly.

        “No, I’ve got a real special place for you two.” The edge of his tone held something beneath the surface of the water that pricked your stomach. Your eyes scanned over Rick, looking for any tell that would hint at what his intentions were. Whatever this old man had up his sleeve you were sure you could take it. If you survived eating gas station sushi, nothing could kill you now. 

        “Oh? Could it possibly be that fancy meat place Samba downtown? Heard they got Brazilian meats and I’m all about that.” Dean’s comment did nothing to change Rick’s expression. It pricked at your stomach harder. You shared another look with Dean and sat back into your seat expecting a long ride. Your gut told you to stay put. Your vocal chords itched to speak to Dean, just to whisper to him about what his thoughts on the situation were. But your brain was in control and knew better than to open your mouth when your warden was less than a foot away from you, so you stayed quiet waiting for the answers to your questions. 

        The two of you hadn’t spent too much time in Colorado, but you knew the layout enough to see that the Chief was heading out of town. The bright lights of the city were replaced with the lights of the stars and the moon. Headlights were few and far between and you were greeted by more elk than people. Mountains rose from the ground and blocked the outside world, almost creating a dome over the land. The scenery could no longer hold your attention and the itch in your vocal chords finally became too irritating to ignore any longer. 

        “So what’s with your obsession about bear attacks?” From the rearview mirror you could see a flash of anger in Rick’s face as his mouth twitched downwards. If it was going to be a long drive, you may as well get what you could out of it. At least this way you could possibly get some answers and annoy him along the way. 

        “No obsession, just doing my civic duties as a police officer.” Rick’s voice was low and and quiet. He was restraining himself greatly, veins starting to pop in his neck and face changing to a new shade of red. His eyes continued to stare at the road. 

        “Do you really believe that these are bear attacks?” Dean piped up leaning to the side to catch a better glimpse at the Chief’s face. 

        “There’s no evidence to prove otherwise.” Rick quipped, short and to the point. It sounded almost comfortably rehearsed. The man most likely testified in court more times than you could count. 

        “Now I think we both know that that’s not true.” 

        “And what are you proposing?” 

         Without missing a beat you stepped back in. “Maybe that you’re a little more involved with these disappearances than you’d like to admit.” You leaned forward, the temple of your head touching the back of the passenger seat. Rick smirked to himself, as if he’d told a joke in his head. Suddenly that all knowing attitude came back to him, like flipping a switch. 

        “If only you knew what really lived in these woods, you wouldn’t be putting your nose where it doesn’t belong.” Rick’s tension seemed to lift from his shoulders with every word he spoke. Dean let out a breathy laugh and rolled his eyes. If you had a dollar for every time you heard that sentence, the two of you could buy an entire Dance Dance Revolution Machine that you had wanted when you were kids. 

        “Oh really? Enlighten me then.” Dean requested with a sarcastically inquisitive expression. His shoulders were tense and hunched slightly as he leaned in more. The atmosphere of the tiny cop car was suffocating. It felt like every body in the car was taking up more space than necessary. Rick let his eyes be taken from the road just for a second to look back at Dean with a twinkle in his eye. 

        “You kids ever hear of The Grand Mesa Curse?”

        You sighed. “Yes, extensively actually.” You blinked blankly at him. 

        “There’s evil that lurks in these woods, six feet tall and claws. A wendigo. Know what that is?” Rick paused for a moment at his own rhetorical question. “It’s a creature that used to be human, but changed once they resorted to cannibalism. It was thought that the man who consumed human flesh would absorb its power. Used to think all of this talk was nonsense…until I saw her.” You scrunched your brows together and sat back into your seat, piecing things together.

        His daughter was on a camping trip and died.

        He always had a hand in all the bear attack cases that happened at a specific time of year. 

        He was the one who found Chrissy’s body.

        “Your daughter…” You muttered. Rick shook his head slightly banishing the awful memories from behind his eyes. The image of his now six foot three daughter, her skin stretched beyond repair over protruding bones with eyes that held no recognition for her father. He remembered in great detail the first night he saw her, barely got out alive. Rick would never get the scent of human flesh out of his nose, the sight of those kids’ blood over her hands and face. Yet somehow even after seeing all those horrible displays of violence he still loved her and protected her. If he kept covering her tracks, at some point things would go back to normal. 

        “She’ll get better, if I keep feeding her then eventually she’ll be fine.” From the sound of it, even Rick didn’t believe what he was saying. But he wanted to. Desperately so.

        “You know she won’t-”

        “SHE WILL!” Rick hit the steering wheel with the heel of his hand as he barked. He had already come so far, he wasn’t about to let two little children take away what little family he had left. There was still a little bit of hope left if he kept lying to himself and everyone else. “And neither you two or that Chrissy girl will ruin this for me.”

        A sour feeling was starting to settle in your stomach. It was almost sweet how much work he was putting into keeping his daughter safe. Normally you would feel for a parent losing their child, but unfortunately in his situation, Rick already lost his daughter. Seeing a monster wear his daughter’s face destroyed any chance for him to accept that there was no trace of her left in that gaunt body. He failed her in this life that winter years ago, he refused to fail her ever again. 

        As you traveled further into the mountains, snow started to accumulate on the windshield. The mountains had their own world. The night was pitch black and snow more piercing compared to the environment in the suburbs. Even the trees seemed to curl out like a hand waiting to grab unsuspecting travelers. 

        Something started to feel off. You fidgeted in your seat trying to find a comfortable spot to no avail. It felt like a lightbulb softly pushing at the back of your head, warming the crown of your hair and shooting down your spine and all throughout your bones. This feeling grew stronger as the Chief continued to drive. You grimaced as the lightbulb dug further into your brain aiming for the center of it. You knew this feeling all too well, your biological radar spotted a monster nearby and they were getting close. This one felt strong. The car stopped making your back softly hit the back of the seat. 

        Outside the safe haven of the car you couldn’t see five feet away from you without the blank canvas of snow distorting your vision. The wind pushed the car back and forth every couple of seconds ever so slightly, as if you were still on the road. Rick pulled the collar of his jacket up and braced himself. He opened his door and stepped outside. 

        “What the fuck do we do?” You sputtered out to Dean, eyes wider than usual.

        “Well I assume we’re about to meet his daughter, so my only suggestion is to not get eaten.” Dean said testing the strength of the handcuffs around his wrists. 

        “Thank you for that Captain Obvious.” 

        “You’re Welcome Lieutenant Sarcasm.” 

        Before you had a chance to respond, the chief opened up the door with a gun pointed at Dean’s face. “Let’s make this easy why don’t we? Get out of the car. We’re gonna do this one at a time.” Dean took in a shaky breath and slowly stepped out of the car, leaving you alone in the back seat. He shut the door with his foot and got his balance back in the snow. Rick nodded his head to the side signaling Dean to keep walking. The snow crunched under his boots and gathered in between the grooves of his shoes. His neck was exposed to the cutting temperature, the wind only served to slice his skin deeper. Regardless, he marched onwards until an opening in the mountain showed itself. There were signs warning against entering the tunnel, explaining that the cave could collapse or that it’d been dangerous for decades to go inside. The wooden blockade had been damaged and eaten away by weather and insects over the years. It looked barely strong enough to be holding itself up.

         The threshold was uninviting, light not escaping the cavernous mouth creating a shield of darkness. Dean blindly walked forwards, carefully stepping over the bumps and grooves of the floor. An orange glow started to illuminate the walls, exposing the roots and rock in the walls. “What do you think your daughter would think of you sacrificing people to her?” Dean spoke up. This was a last ditch effort. If he wasn’t able to talk Rick out of this he wasn’t sure what other option he had. Last time he went up against a wendigo he barely got out alive, and that was with equipment. He had nothing this time around, and to make matters worse his hands were bound. 

        In Dean’s head about 18 tabs were open and at least one of them was playing music but he couldn’t tell which it was. He was flipping through all his plans A through Z but most of them depended on either you coming in at the last second, or for Rick to be a complete bumbling idiot and easy to fight even while handcuffed. Dean’s stomach tightened at his next thought.

         The thought that he might not actually make it out of this one. Of course his brained tricked him into believing that this would play out like a B-list action movie where everything would turn out perfect and everyone would be saved. His body felt manic, electric. This feeling was sadly familiar to him.

        Rick stayed silent for a moment and slowed his pace to use more energy to think. “Lydia would find a way to understand.” 

        Dean scoffed. “Yeah cause the ends justifies the means doesn’t it Machiavelli?” Rick pressed the gun into Dean’s back.

        “Just keep walking.” 

~~~~~~

        You watched as Rick lead Dean away. Your body slowly shifted into the seat your partner had recently occupied, his heat still captured in the fake leather. The angle of the window did you no favors to see them, the snow not helping either. The cold glass chilled the first layer of the skin on your cheek. Once they disappeared from sight you leaned back into your seat and stared at the metal around your wrists. You took a big breath into your lungs and pulled back and away with your elbows. The sheer force of your strength ripped the chain like day old bread, the ends of the chain that broke sharpened to a point. 

        You put the pad of your thumb on the hinge of the handcuff and pushed until it popped under the pressure and slit in half, releasing your hand then doing the same to the other. The metal didn’t do much to the skin of your wrists save for mild redness. You made some circles with your hands before moving to the next task at hand, the locked car door. The posture of your body and processes of your mind gave into the demon within. The look in your eyes and crack of your knuckles was that of a skilled hunter, a predator coming to defend their territory. In moments like these it was easier to let the Slayer side of you take over, hand her the reigns and guide you through this. 

        In order to get the job done you had to put everything aside. Nothing mattered except getting the mission completed. Thoughts of your mother, your childhood, Sam, or even Dean, could trip you up and possibly effect your reflexes or technique. 

        Your emotional shield hardened, ridding your thoughts of the possibility of Dean getting eaten or hurt.

        You positioned yourself to face the passenger door in the backseat, arms stabilizing you behind and knees bent. Your feet were pressed against the handle of the door. With a grunt you mustered up all the pent up anger that boiled within and kicked it. The door flung open, the frigid temperature rushed into the back seat. You sped walked to the trunk of the car and popped it, pulling your hair out of your face as the wind whipped it around. The contents within were a first aid kit, jumper cables, a bullet proof vest, a shotgun, a couple of road flares, spare handcuff keys, and a pair of bolt cutters. You fastened the bullet proof vest onto your chest, stuck the road flares and extra set of keys into your pocket and picked up the shotgun. It wasn’t much, but it would do. Your eyes landed on the opening that Dean disappeared into and walked towards it.

         It was business time, and there was one motherfucker you still had to take care of.

~~~~~~

        The air of the cave was thick with moisture and made Dean’s clothes stick to his skin. Little drips of water and pebbles moving in the background made his ears perk up. Every little sound made him pull his arms closer to himself and tense up. Those tiny sounds could go unheard and would be the difference between life and death if they were Lydia. He hadn’t seen any signs of her existence yet, but he was sure that was about to change soon. The longer he could prolong that moment the better. 

        Rick silently lead him deeper through the mountain’s tunnels, taking lefts and rights at random intervals it felt. Dean tried his best to create the maze in his head, he wouldn’t be able to use landmarks since every part of the cave was identical. Every couple of feet another low powered light bulb was strung from the sides of the cave wall. There was a sliver of darkness between each set of lightbulbs. As they continued walking, Rick’s footsteps slowed even more until he stopped altogether. Dean turned around waiting to see his next move. They were in a more hollow part of the mountain now, somewhere near the edge of it Dean guessed from the moonlight that peaked out from the cracks in the ceiling. The light shined down and poured into the cavernous drop to his left. Rocks created the path in front of them, the wall of the cave gave little space to walk as close as it was to the drop off. 

        “Ok so what now?” Dean looked around.

        “Nothing, for you at least.” Rick spoke putting his gun back in its holster. He stepped forwards and grabbed Dean by the sleeves of his shirt. In the flurry of motion Dean lost his balance, moving at the whim of Rick’s motion. His feet flew over the ledge of the drop as Rick flung him down into the cavern. With a grunt Dean landed on his back on the hard ground. It felt like all the air was sucked out of his lungs. Three different vertebrae throbbed in sync with his heartbeat. From the scrape of the ground the hunter already knew that he was bleeding in several locations. He took a second to lay there in agony glaring up at Rick as he walked away.

        “Have fun chatting with Lydia, I’m sure you two will have a lot to talk about.” His voice echoed with a smile. 

        “Bastard…” Dean’s attention was taken away from the pain in his upper back, but rather spread to all the muscles connected to his spine as he attempted to get up. Every tiny movement from his arms sent shocks of pain through his muscle fibers straight to his spine. He grit his teeth as he rolled over to his side, hand coming over to brace himself. The tiny rocks on the cave floor embedding themselves into his hand meant nothing to him. The room spun around and shook Dean’s head around. “Fuck…”

~~~~~~

         Your eyes scanned every new inch of cave you took in at a rapid pace with laser precision. Anger and rage heated up your skin. You walked with heavier determined footsteps, strutting your way into a new disaster. The change in your demeanor surged your forward. Upon hearing movement up ahead you dipped into a crevice in the cave wall, squishing your body between rocks awkwardly that dug into your skin and poked at your bones. A memory surfaced like a vision from your childhood of playing hide and seek with Sam and Dean. 

        Footsteps, those of boots, drew nearer. Your eyes stuck to one part of the wall until a pair of khaki pants walked right past you. They followed Rick as he walked blissfully unaware of his surroundings towards the opening of the mountain. A list of techniques you could use to snap his neck came to mind, your fingers itched to wrap around his throat. Your mother would be so proud to know that you actually paid attention to her lessons if she felt human emotion. 

        Once the footsteps faded into the distance you dislodged yourself from the rocks in the wall and brushed off any residue. The cold air snuck between the layers of your clothing sparking a shiver down your back. You crept on further, silencing your feet and breathing deep into your chest. A shuffle below you caught your attention. You crouched closer to the ground and kept your body close to the wall to get a better look at the culprit. The minute you saw a flash of green flannel you stood up.

        “Dean!” Your knees hit the edge of the drop off hard making small abrasions in your jeans and skin, but you didn’t care. “Are you ok?” The slayer mask was forcibly ripped off of your face. The heated rage in your skin was replaced with an icy shake. You kneeled to the ground and peered over steep drop. The little drop off looked like a ravine with Dean at the bottom just waiting for a rock slide to bury him.

        “Yeah…Chief of Douchebags pushed me over. Think his daughter is down here.” Dean limped over to the drop, grimacing as he felt his muscles move. You dug your knees into the rock as much as you could, the fabric of your pants tore open by a sliver. The palm’s of your hands slid down the drop, stretching down as far as you could to grab onto Dean. Dirt caked your skin and was ground into the grooves of your hands. God you were almost there, you elongated your back to try and give yourself some more length. Quick short breaths made your chest rise and fall with each burst. Your lips were parted, the walls protecting your true feelings were open and released a high pitched quiet whimper. Dean reached as well, his boots pushed back gravel and dirt. His shirt caught on some of the rocks poking out as he tried to get closer, but your fingertips had about twelve inches between them. 

        “Shit…I don’t think I can get you out. Can you climb out?” You sighed frustratedly retracting your hand. Dean shook his head taking a step back. He stared up at you into your eyes that sparkled with sadness. You were deep in the sky with the distance between you two. It was like he was reaching to touch a star, an untouchable ethereal being who no one deserved to be in the presence of. 

        “No, I can’t get a good grip on any of the rocks…” Your heart and brain were battling over what to do. Your heart wrenched at the thought of being separated from Dean in such a situation. How could he possibly fight against an entire wendigo, opposed to half of one…, with no equipment or help? The thought of leaving these caves alone made tears prick at your eyes. Dean wasn’t faring any better. Looking up at you made him feel helpless. A part of him was more disappointed in himself than upset about the situation itself. More times than he’d like, he felt like the Daphne.

          “Maybe there’s another opening we can meet up at.” You spoke, undoing the velcro of the bullet proof vest and tossing it down to Dean, along with the road flare, shotgun, and extra set of keys. As bleak as everything seemed, he was grateful to as least have some protection against the situation you two got yourselves in. He started with the handcuffs and made quick work of them. Dean settled the vest over his body and road flare in his pocket, settling to hold the shotgun himself. A sick feeling bubbled in the hunter’s stomach. What if there was no opening and he’d just have to make peace with his new rent free cave apartment?

        “Uh…yeah. We can do that.” Dean looked to the ground intensely looking at nothing in particular. There really weren’t any other options he could take at this point. If you two used the shotgun to pull him out, there was no telling if the gun would accidentally go off hitting one of you. It wasn’t going to be a fun or quick time, but Dean would just have to find another way out. He turned his attention back to you, still kneeling above him. The two of you had a moment of silence looking at each other. This moment shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did, but there was no use in moping around when there was something that you could do. 

        “Are you sure you’re gonna be ok? I could join you down there.” You offered with a sad smile. Dean shook his head mirroring your face.

        “No, I’ll be ok. I’m a strong boy, I’ll find a way.” He did his best to show you a genuine smile.

        “Ok…then I guess I’ll see you when I see you.” With a sad wave of your hand, you pressed onwards.

        Dean saw your shadow disappear into the cave. He looked to his left and started walking. His back felt a little more supported with the vest so at least that didn’t add to his problems. The cave seemed to swallow Dean whole as he stumbled through the darkness. Lights were strung up in this part of the cave as well, but many of the lightbulbs were broken or smashed. The more he followed this path the more broken and messy it became. Shreds of shirts and various articles of clothing littered the floor. A crunch underneath his boot made Dean stop. He slowly picked up his boot and saw a pair of glasses missing one of the lenses. 

         The path lead into an opening. The floor was a dark shade of red mixed in with the dirt. Bone fragments stuck out from the ground. Some of them were distinguishable bones, while others were merely shards of a previous body, a previous human, a past president of the being alive club. Leaned up against the wall were three decomposing skeletons. Their skin was a wrinkly grey, eyes sunken in and stomach cavity empty. Bigger bones were piled up around them where Lydia must have fed. Dean couldn’t pick out if these bones were all from the same bodies or if they were mixtures of bodies over the decades. Instead of mulling over that question in his brain he decided to keep walking.

~~~~~~

        The cave’s cold air rushed into your lungs with a labored breath. Your eyes, cheeks, and mouth twitched and flickered in a sporadic pattern. Inside your mind a horrific theatre played out all the terrible scenarios of Dean meeting his demise. The wendigo could rip his heart out, eat him alive, or maybe that bastard of a cop would march Dean right up to his daughter as a delivery. At this point the only positive thing you could do was find Lydia yourself before she found your partner. You dug your hands into your pockets, feeling a candy wrapper and a paper clip you had yet to throw away still housed within them. The temperature was dropping steadily leading you to believe that an opening was nearby. 

        Wind grew stronger the more you continued on your path. You picked up your walking speed to a jog. Gusts of air whipped your hair around. The snow was thick and plummeted to the ground silently and was illuminated by the moon. You prayed that Dean found a way outside. The only sound to be heard was the blizzard whistling through the tree leaves, but other than that it was like a sound proof box trapped you in silence. The white trees looked like they went on for miles. 

        “(Y/N)!” A muffled voice screamed your name out in the inky blackness of the night. Your ears perked up and eyes narrowed. “(Y/N) where are you? I think it’s close!” It was Dean’s voice in both tone and color. You stalked closer to the source of the sound, walking so slowly that you felt your joints getting caught against their sockets. The thick snow packed underneath your boots with a crunch creating a map to your location. The lightbulb feeling reemerged and twisted inside your brain. Your shoulders lurched forwards as an unnerving feelings gripped onto your bones. Your face twisted. 

         Whatever was hidden in the forest was not your Dean. The voice was getting louder and started to yell. You dug into your back pocket and took out the road flare. Every shadow created looked like it took shape to move forward to you. You pushed forwards ignoring the feeling of the lightbulb digging deeper and your heart pumping in your chest. Your index finger hovered over the trigger, itching to pull it but you only had one shot. The source of your discomfort was moving. You moved your head in an attempt to keep track of it, but it was too fast to keep track of. One second it was on your right, but the next it was on your left. Had you been a normal human this monster would have you right where they wanted you. 

        Before you had time to fully process it, the wendigo ran at you and dug its claws into your shoulder. You flew back into a tree hitting your ribs and knocking the air out of your lungs. The road flare flew from your grasp and buried itself into the snow. In front of you was a seven foot five being. It had gaunt features and skin that stretched over the bones leaving her hip bones completely revealed and stomach cavity empty. This must have been Lydia. 

        You imagined her hair would’ve been a blunt short cut with bangs had it not been patchy and balding. She had a puffy vest on that had dark stains on it and stitches missing from its seams. White fluffy stuffing poked out of the holes in the seams. The pants she were wearing hung off of her hips and boney legs. They looked more like capris with how they road up on her long legs. 

        The wendigo rose its right hand and swiped down at you. Its claws scratched at the bark as you rolled to your right and shot up barely noticing the cold ground that stuck under your finger nails as you got up. Without sparing a thought you started to run. Lydia followed close behind, her claws almost touching your back. She put in more effort to keep up with you, not used to humans running this fast rivaling the speed of a car. The hunger surged her forwards. It was her guiding star and the only thing that mattered. Always craving something and someone with no end in sight. There were no thoughts in her head except for her next meal and you were standing right in front of her. 

        A small thought wondered if you were going to be able find your way back if you managed to survive this. All the trees looked the same like a wallpaper covering a room. The pattern was the same. All these possibilities clogged your brain. Is Dean ok? Would you get out of this? If you died what would happen to Dean? In general you couldn’t bare to think about what Dean would do if you died anyway. If you were being honest you knew that he’d go off the deep end with no one to catch him and pull him back. John was nowhere to be found. Lord knows your mom would never come help unless there was something in it for herself, and Sam was off at Stanford wanting nothing to do with any of you and wanting to leave his hunting past behind. He’d be completely alone. Left to his own devices with only the instinct to kill to take care of his pent up aggression. 

         The temperature was freezing the snow underneath the top layer. It caught onto the soles of your shoes mid thought. Time froze as you watched your body surge forward, hands out to brace your fall. Lydia had no problem with traction. She reached out in your absence of distance. Her claws tore through the fabric of your clothes and ripped the top layer of skin in a slash. A sharp pain pinched at your nerves and flared up all over your back, scratching out the prophecy burned into your back. Chunks of skin and muscle splashed onto the white snow coloring it red. The sensation in your upper back shoved the memory of the day you were called upon as a Slayer back into your mind. The burning. The disapproving looks from your mother and pity from John. The way Sam and Dean looked so confused and scared as to why you were screaming. The way your body never felt the same after that day. The disintegrating relationship between you and your mother. That was when it all started. 

        Your heart beat along with the bpm that of a dance song, in time and growing in speed. Before your hands felt the soft bed of the snow and before Lydia’s claws could latch onto your spinal columns, a metal snare snapped down on the wendigo’s ankle yanking her back and easily grabbing onto her gray skin to reveal off white bones. A high pitched screech echoed out of her throat. You joined her with a whimper, hitting the ground and rolling back onto your feet with the agility of a gymnast. Everything was moving past you in a blur and you had to act quickly. That snare could only hold her for so long. 

        Your feet carried you past Lydia searching for your road flare. You searched for any familiarity in the forest to no avail. The mountain was your only guide back. Nothing in the snow gave way for your road flare, the snow was getting heavier. No doubt that it was already covered. Fuck this you had to get to Dean. The pounding in your chest grew stronger, the opening of the cave you had previously come out of was in front of you. Your footsteps changed to a soft crunch to the clack and click of the rock cave. The string lights showed a shadow that climbed up the walls. 

        “Dean!” You ran into your partner. Dean was wearing the bullet proof vest holding the shotgun. You felt instant relief knowing that he made his way out. Dean felt quite the opposite. His throat tightened seeing your bleeding wounds. He should’ve been there. “Are you ok?” Dean’s eyebrows scrunched together, eyes looking directly into yours.

        “Am I ok? What happened to you?” Dean’s voice was low and dangerous. You took a moment to catch your breath and pull him into shelter. 

        “Well I met Rick’s daughter, she kinda sucks.” You offered a small smile. Dean shook his head and softly rolled his eyes. Your antics weren’t going to distract him today. His hands gently held onto your arm to inspect the gashes. His thumb brushed over the rip in the fabric to the skin underneath the break. A sinking pit formed where his heart was. Mother fucker every time you got hurt he was somewhere being helpless. Somewhere he shouldn’t have been. You had never been able to count on anyone in your life not even your own flesh and blood, Dean wanted to be the one person you could always go to for help. But he was never in the right place, always dicking off somewhere you weren’t. 

        “Yeah she seems like a real peach. Lemme see your back.” Dean put pressure on your shoulder to turn around. Your nerves shot up, making you snatch his wrist with a tight grip. Dean looked up confused, unfamiliar with this touch from you. He was about to respond when you interrupted him.

         “No! It’s fine- I’m good. Nothing’s gonna help me at the moment til we get back to the hotel. We should just find Lydia, kill her, and go home.” Dean paused for a moment, lips forming a small pout. Something seemed off about you, but now wasn’t the time to press. Once you two got back to the hotel then he could talk to you. After the call of The Slayer you had changed. You were more reserved and weighed down by self doubt. Even when it was just the kids you could never truly relax because at any second you could be pulled away from them to be in training with your mom at whatever local gym was in your area. 

        Your mother spent the bulk of your childhood beating off The Council of The Slayer. The only way she could truly prepare you for the world you were supposed to fight was to train you herself to the discipline of that of a drill sergeant. If you were born to kill evil you were going to do it her way. Your mother didn’t trust many, if any at all, but she would never trust The Council. It was the one thing she did right as a parent. The Council would never get their hands on you and she was determined to keep it that way. She was hard on you for a reason, among many bad ones, but the most prominent reason being that she would rather train you herself then let somebody else do it. You had to be strong enough to fight against the forces of evil and The Council. 

        What a grand fuck you to your mother it was when you joined them after high school. 

        The Council was an organization centered in England made up of Watchers. Generally The Watchers were tasked with finding and training The Slayer. Dean had only seen a Watcher once. It was in high school when you were waiting for him to pick you up. Sam was about twelve padding behind you when an unknown man in a suit came up to you. He spoke to you about the supernatural and how you were the chosen one to fight it. Dean swooped in to scare the guy off before he was able to finish his sales pitch. He never really knew much about Watchers or The Council as they were a very secretive group, but he did as much research as he could. Dean didn’t want you to have to face this alone. He never found out why your mom hated them so much, save for her abrasiveness to new people. Dean only got his answer when you found him in the middle of Montana. You came straight to him seeking a familiar face, your only source of comfort. 

        You looked tired, exhausted, like your body hadn’t gotten the chance to sit down for a century. Yet you still greeted him with a smile when you found him at a local bar. The first five minutes felt surreal, like a figment of Dean’s imagination to have you sitting here next to him after years of silence. It broke his heart the day you left, one by one everyone left his life to go find something better. Sam left for college, you left to escape your mother and join The Council, and John…. Well John was nowhere to be found and at this point Dean couldn’t force himself to care. 

        Dean thought of those years with John/by himself as the dark years. You two tried to stay in contact but it wasn’t the same. You explained at the bar everything that had happened when you left. Even hearing Dean’s voice reminded you of your less than perfect childhood. You still had moments of guilt for cutting him out. You wanted a fresh start where nobody knew who you were or what you were, but little did you know that it would catch up with you anyway. Originally you wanted to go to college, figure out what you wanted to do with your life and see what happened. You had even made a couple of friends, had a relationship. It didn’t last too long because the supernatural found you. 

        Once your new normal friends found out the truth, they couldn’t see past what you were at face value. Just a branch of demon. They cursed your name for the knowledge your life forcibly thrusted upon them. They didn’t want to know the secrets of the world, content staying in the Matrix. After that you gave up on living a normal life. You dropped out of college and disappeared into The Council. It was sort of like a job. You had a room in their compound, a place to train, and odd jobs around the world to take care of. It was nice for a little while to not be shunned for what you were. If anything they were ecstatic. The first few years were good, but over time they treated you less like a person and more like a tool. 

        They had complete control over your life, what you ate, how you spent your time, who you saw. This found family was turning into a cult. You had already left one overbearing mother, you weren’t about to let yourself get into a toxic relationship like that ever again. In the middle of the night you packed the bare essentials and set out to find Dean, following other hunter’s knowledge of his whereabouts like a signal. He could’t be more grateful that you found him, nursing a drink pondering his existence and why he was put on this Earth. 

        “Not to break up a beautiful moment, but shouldn’t you be at the bottom of a ravine?” The two of you turned to see Rick with a gun pointed at you. You pushed Dean behind you and stood your ground, eyes narrowed and unmoving. “I don't know what you are missy but it was a neat little trick you did to get out of my car, but none of that matters now.” Rick stood tall with a cocky smirk. He just had to finish the last step and he’d never have to see you two ever again. 

        “Better put that gun down before somebody gets hurt.” You spoke. You could feel Dean shuffling wanting to get in front of you.

        “Oh I don’t think I’m too worried about that.” The clanking of chains got louder from behind you, dragging on the rock floor. Dean looked behind him. Lydia’s form came into view, limping on her right side where the snare was still wrapped around her ankle like a bracelet. 

        “Shit….” Dean muttered tightening his grip on the shotgun. The road flare was in his back pocket, but if Rick saw him reach for it there’s no telling what he would do. You were caught in the middle of an insane cop and his monster daughter. If Dean shot at her, Rick would shoot at you…

        “Same time?” You asked Dean. He nodded. In a flash you hooked your right hand into Rick’s gun knocking it out of his hand and clanking to the ground. Dean pulled the trigger aiming at Lydia’s head. The slug hit her in an instant making her screech so loud the walls shook. You took a hold of Rick by his shirt and threw him into Lydia.

        “Lydia it’s me! It’s Dad!” Rick screamed as Lydia’s claws came closer to his throat. She tore into his body and splattered red painting the rocks. Lydia held no remorse for her actions digging deeper into her father’s body. Dean threw you the shotgun and took hold of his road flare. Without sparing a thought you held up the weapon and unloaded on Lydia. Flashes of bullets sparked in the cave. Lydia tossed aside Rick and turned her attention to you. 

        “Dean shoot it!” The hunter raised the road flare and pointed it at Lydia’s stomach. The flare launched out of the orange gun in a burst of red light hitting Lydia right in the gut. Her hands dug at the fusee in her stomach wailing in pain. The flare started to consume her clothing and burned orange. You continued to use every slug in the gun before you were empty. Lydia jerked around and fell to the floor as the fire grew larger using her body as a vessel. After a couple of moments of silence, Lydia stopped trying to move. 

        “Think she’s dead?” Dean asked.

        “Yeah….I think.” You said not wanting to get any closer to the wendigo. 

        “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

~~~~~~

        You and Dean let the body continue to burn, it eventually caught onto Rick as well. The two of you slowly made your way back to the car Rick brought you in. No doubt that his police goons would recognize the car. Dean took driving responsibility and got you guys back to town in one piece. He dropped the car off at an abandoned Blockbuster store parking lot a little out of town. The rest of the way you two walked, knowing if you got an Uber that there would be a lot of questions. Thankfully baby was still there parked in front of Chrissy’s house. The leather seats were a warm welcome after all that crazy shit.

        The minute you were in the hotel you all but ran to the bathroom to look at the damage you sustained with a spare shirt in hand. The LED bathroom lights hurt your eyes as you flipped the switch. You shuffled in front of the mirror and shucked off your coat. The ruined item plopped onto the floor, blood dripping off of the rips and onto the white tiled floor. Your shirt joined it soon after. The only thing left was the thick white bandage you wrapped around your torso like a binder to conceal the brand on your back. Slowly you reached around and pulled your hair to the side.

        You strained your neck to inspect the slash, it pinched in pain as you turned your body. It was already healing up thanks to your Slayer abilities but it was definitely going to need some stitching if you were going to be on your feet soon. Unfortunately you would need help if you were going to get stitches. 

        …..ya know on second thought maybe bleeding for a couple of weeks wasn’t so bad

        “Hey you ok?” Dean’s muffled voice came through the door. You look at wound again and put a fresh shirt on. 

        “Uh, yeah I’m fine…” You opened the door slowly. Dean rose an eyebrow not believing a damn word you were saying. 

        “Let me see your back, it looked pretty bad in there.” You ignored Dean’s request and slipped past him to go to your bed. 

        “It’s fine, I’m ok.” 

        “(Y/N), there’s blood coming through your shirt just let me help.” Dean tried to hold onto your arm. Your heart started to beat faster as he pushed further. 

        nonononononono 

        “Dean I’m fine.” Your face twisted in discomfort.

        “No you’re not, why are you being so weird about this?” 

        “I’m not being weird!” You raised your voice stepping back again.

        “Then show me your back!” Dean’s volume matched yours.

        “No because you’ll see it!” Your chest was heavy as you looked at Dean. He tilted his head not quite understanding what you meant. You eyes were watering, tears threatening to spill over. You couldn’t look at Dean now. Your eyes looked at every inch of the room where he wasn’t. You were mentally preparing yourself for the talk you were going to have and the inevitable disappointment and resentment he would hold.

        “See what?” He softened his voice again. The air in the room stopped moving, it felt like  it was filled with styrofoam. A small choked whimper escaped the prison of your throat, two tears trickled down your cheek. You couldn’t do this again. If anybody else looked at you like your mom did the first time she saw it you didn’t think it would matter, but Dean? He was the last shred of family you had left. If he saw the prophecy burned into your back he would dump you like last weeks trash on the side of the curb without a second glance. 

        Usually Dean was a very open minded guy, always willing to hear somebody’s opinions and thoughts on a matter. But with demons and monsters his first instinct was to kill. It was never to ask them why they did the things they did or to try and help them. It was kill first ask questions later. 

        “The scar….I’m sure you’ve read about it, but when a Slayer gets called they get branded.” The sentence tumbled out of your mouth before you could process it. The truth needed to come out now. Rip the bandaid off. “You’ll know what I am and hate me just like my mom did.” Dean felt a pain in his chest. 

        “Sweetheart, I already know what you are. And I still love you, just let me help you.” Dean took a small step towards you, gauging your reaction to his distance. 

        “But you don’t, I’m a demon.” Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes harder than he ever did in life.

        “That is the biggest load of horse shit I have ever heard.” Dean crossed his arms and stood still. 

        “Dean a Slayer is infused with the heart, soul, and essence of a demon. Doesn’t that make me a branch of demon?” You questioned. He furrowed his brows, lips pulled down as he took in what you said. 

        “No? No.” Dean shook his head refusing to believe what you said. He waved his hands in the air to clear the slate. “It doesn’t matter what you are!” 

        You raised your eyebrows, holding back a sarcastic laugh. “Oh so there are exceptions? There are good monsters?” Dean flared his nostrils and glared at you.

        “No, the only good demon is a dead one. No demon would ever or has ever done anything good.”

        “Well then why am I a good demon? Why are you so quick to change your views? You’re contradicting yourself. You can’t just pick and chose which principles apply to demons.” For a moment you forgot about the scar and took a step towards Dean. He ran his rough palms over his face and pushed his hair back. 

        “Because I don’t care what you are! I don’t care about what the council of dick bags says you are, I don’t care what your mom thinks you are or what anybody thinks you are. Demon or not I still fucking love you, you moron. I. Don’t. Care.” Dean closed the gap between you two, toes touching on the cheap carpet. You looked away, another tear slipping out. 

        “If you see it….you’ll look at me the same way my mom did.” You swallowed thickly, releasing a shaky breath. Dean put his hand under chin and tilted your head up. He wiped away the tear with the pad of his thumb across your cheek.

        “Impossible.” He said tucking your hair behind your ear. “Now let me stitch you up before the news paper has to write the dumbest obituary ever.” You chuckled with him not yet moving from your place. You wanted to savor this moment, save the memory of how it felt to be this close to him so you could replay it when the inner voices of self doubt snuck into your brain at night. 

        “Oh yeah? What would it say?” Dean didn’t move either, still looking down at you. 

        “Stubborn Bitch Bleeds out to Death in a Skeezy Motel that has Definitely Given People STD’s before Because She was an Idiot and Didn’t Let a Handsome Mystery Man Help Her.” 

        “That’s far too long to be a headline.”

        “Shutup and get on the damn bed.”

        “You’ll never make it as a reporter.” 

_____________________________________________________________________

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[jcs-writing-hell]

MDZS Writing Game

@the lovely anon from my main ac (jc-aka-why-me)

hey there & sorry for the late reply but i needed a while to come up with an idea i was really satisfied with! i hope you don’t mind and here we go~

Xue Yang/Xiao Xingchen | Modern AU | Questioning life choices, Cooking, Argument | Snow

Taken from my MDZS Writing Game | I accept more requests

-

Xue Yang is a boy that grows up in an orphanage where no one cares about whether he comes “home” or not, or what he does when he doesn’t come back - or the condition he comes back in. He is a kid that gets into all sorts of ugly trouble, having had to switch schools more than anyone should be legally allowed to - especially within the last 2-3 years. He had a ugly childhood and now with 16 years old he has entirely given up the good outlook he once had on society. He doesn’t care, knowing doing so will only harm him more than ruining everything he could possibly hold dear when he feels like it so at least it ends in his own terms. Or destroying others, or what they love, anything is better than being harmed in one way or another himself.

He isn’t dumb though. Even if he barely attends a class for half a year, switching schools at last once mid-term, he always makes sure to just so get his grades up enough to get a year higher. As much as he enjoys fooling around, he likes to prove those that dare look down on him wrong with winning last minute.

Around 2 weeks ago he had to switch the school again. He had gotten into a brawl at the closing ceremony of the year in his old school and wasn’t asked nicely to please never return. For around a week everything ran like usually, but on a shitty monday he spotted someone who caught his attention. He even went out of his way to bully some idiot into telling him who the guy was.

It was a tall beauty, nice character, around 2 years older, who was about to graduate at the end of the year: The person's name was Xiao Xingchen.

Xue Yang had already gotten to know that with his history the school wanted him to join a club, trying to force him to learn better social skills - or in hopes he’d join one, cause a mess and be gone quick. He was about to just “fuck off” but after seeing Xingchen he slyly followed him around, getting to know quickly that the beauty voluntarily played some sort of teacher at the cooking club where any teen above the “responsible age of 16” could join.

Xue Yang signed up for exactly that club, just for fun..

However, he had no idea how to cook, nor did he put much effort in.. and thanks to that he came to enjoy a lot of extra help from his senior. It was between idiotic and adorable how Xingchen kept coming to his aid even for something as simple as cooking rice.. even after he had shown XY how to prepare it 5 times already.

A bit of time passed like that, XY was enjoying himself and unsure what he was plotting himself as well.

The bit of time were around 4 months during which XY was so engrossed in his “game” that he didn’t take note of how much time was passing. That was until the club was supposed to take part in a event, like all other clubs as well. It was especially important for the seniors that would go on to uni or work soon, because possible future teacher and so forth would show up.

Not that that mattered to XY.. Not like he cared. Not like he’d go on to do something great with his life. A shitty thrown away orphan like him. Who was the school even kidding.

However, thanks to the event that was coming up XXC spend extra hours after school end with him, trying to teach him each and every single day how to prepare the dish he was in charge of. Of course, XY messed up whatever he could mess up on purpose time and time again.

By then he had began to honestly believe in his heart that he could do whatever & XXC’s patience would never run out. That things were running how he wanted them for once.. He wasn’t even being a true ass at this point, just not putting in effort but apart from that he behaved, smiled, showed respect and was over all nice.

,,Could you please try to do that properly for once, A-Yang?”

XY was fooling around again, just that this time XXC’s reaction wasn’t a little cute chuckle, he sounded like everyone always did: His patience was running out. And the only way in which XY knew how to react was cutting the ties between them painfully, right there and then because if he would end it, if he would be the one landing the final blow before XXC.. he wouldn’t get hurt. Letting out a bitter chuckle, for the first time since they knew one another XY showed his cunning, dark, sadistic side that was only there for his own sake. Saying line’s such as

,,Oh yeh? Why should I? It’s not like I care. I never gave a damn about this foolish club of yours. Do you actually enjoy playing the idiot here for free without getting shit in return? You really don’t get that people are just using you do you?”

,,A-Yang.. the one who’s been using me all this time has been you, isn’t that the truth? From the first day on, you’re treating me like a fool that can’t see while I’m anything but blind. Even right now you’re trying to blind me and yourself from seeing who the actual fool is.. I might be the one getting used, but being the one using someone else’s honest care for you until you notice that it scares you to death that they might turn you down or actually care.. I might be getting used, but I at least know who I am, I am not a pathetic person that runs and runs and avoids while acting as if I don’t care or hurt from the things I bring onto myself and others. It’s pathetic and sad how hard you’re trying to fool yourself into believing you don’t care out of fear of admitting that you do because you are nothing but a scared child that likes to play tough.”

,,There’s so much bullshit coming out of your mouth, you should wash it out before you try to talk to me again.”

,,Don’t worry. I won’t. I will talk to the teacher today still and let them sign you over to another club. I do not wish to see you again here, and if you see me.. Don’t forget that I’m blind, deaf and an idiot that is talking nothing but bullshit so don’t waste your time talking to me.”

,,Fine with me.”

XY simply replied, watching XXC leave without even taking a last look at him.

XY grabbed his belongings shortly after, bag thrown over his shoulder as he exited the school that wasn’t lit up by the many lights anymore. To his surprise there was snow falling, even though none had ever been supposed to fall that day..

Staring up at the sky, a thought crossed XY’s mind as he felt a more fluid, less cold liquid run over his face.

The weather perfectly resembled the current state of his soul. He was frozen on the inside, tiny pieces falling off and down from the protective layer of ice he had build around his heart.. like the snowflakes that were sinking to the ground in front of him, just that on his inside it wasn’t such a beautiful sight, even though a lot more breathtaking.

He had wanted to play with XXC so much and was so sure of himself and XXC’s forgiveness and patience that the fact that at the end XXC was the one to push him away, talk to him like that.. It had never even crossed his mind & now it was too late and XXC was gone and at least around as broken thanks to his actions as he was. Not in a million years had XY imagined that he actually had enough power to shatter XXC while all he tried was to keep himself together.

XY ends up sitting down on the stairs that lead inside of the school, his face in his hands,.. for once he’s actually regretting the choice he made in his life right there and then, that the argument happened, that he was how he was and actually.. honestly.. always had hurt himself with that behaviour so far as well.

-

From there on it can go a lot of ways:

XY can go back and find that XXC doesn’t return, he prepares the dish he was supposed to prepare perfectly and then leaves - XXC finds the dish then.

XY keeps asking someone from the club what they cook and leaves the meal on his former place each time XXC goes out to throw away the trash after all others are gone already

XY keeps his scores up but also his distance to XXC until the event and he shows up relatively well dressed to bring the dish he was supposed to make

XY can go back in & wait to apologise

XXC can find XY

Either doesn’t attend school for several days and the other goes looking for them

XY might even leave the school & XXC tries to get him to come back, only then realising how bad of a situation XY is actually in

A lot of ways to go in. I tried to leave it rather open about whether or not it’s meant as a romantically involved ship but it kinda went into that direction in my mind.