#emotions are VALID

[nattercam]

My Emotions Are Valid

One of the most frustrating aspects of my life is being unsure If my emotions are valid. That sounds like a stupid sentence, of course all emotions are valid, everyone is entitled to their feelings right? But what if my past and present actions are the cause? What then? 

Realistically I know that me staying up until gone midnight dissassosiating from reality with a naff KU romance book is not the cause or blame of me emotionally boiling over but somehow every time I manage to beat myself up over not being able to cope because I don't have a good routine, or I can't keep on top of the housework or remember to do basic evey day activities like showering. I'm just not trying hard enough, I'm being narcissistic, woe is me and gaslighting myself and everyone around me into thinking I'm a victim when if I just freaking got on with it rather than getting all upset then maybe just maybe I wouldn't be crying in the downstairs loo for the 3rd time today while Bea destroys the house and Paul WhatsApps me from the sofa asking where I am. 

 Currently, I'm upset because I'm exhausted and over stimulated and the thought of having to remain calm during another of Beas unregulated episodes while Paul either gets frustrated and angry or steps back completely because "you know she only wants you" while simultaneously back seat driving with "you have to remain calm", "stop saying that you're making it worse" - you know what mate, if you know so bloody well why don't you take over! 

I'm feeling sorry for myself because last night I did the night time wake up as always (solid midnight til 4am for the win there Bea) woke up 15 mins before school starts, then worked all day using my lunchbreak to do the school run and then juggling childcare, meltdowns and Teams meetings until the end of the day. Next I talked Jay though a most basic adult task even though he's 20 and should be more than capable. Followed by fielding well meaning but completely unhelpful conversation with my mother who thinks she understands but really doesn't and attempting to plan, purchase and execute Christmas day (which is a week away) even though the house is totally trashed and I'm so overwhelmed by it I don't know where to start. Let's not forget the email from school to say Bea kicked a teacher and that I just realised I forgot to go to the cash point to get money for school lunches next term. I don't remember the last time I showered or ate a home cooked healthy meal and by the time Paul gets home (having not done the ONE errand I asked him to do) I haven't even thought about dinner so I just shove a microwave meal on for Bea before settling down to apptempt to brush her matted hair, and yes I do mean matted, properly matted with a lovely sprinkling of headlice that no matter what I do I can't get rid of. 

Naturally my even attempting to touch her hair caused instant meltdown as she has serious sensory issues around her hair which is how we got into this mess in the first place. 

So now I'm locked in the loo while Bea rages on the other side of the door (I'm not, I'm writing this after she finally went to sleep but go with it for the sake of the story) and all I can think about is that I have no right to feel this upset because if I hadn't stayed up until midnight maybe I would have had at least some sleep before Beas midnight til 4am over stimulation party and then maybe today wouldn't have been such a disaster and I would have been able to handle this 4th meltdown of the day with poise and grace instead of silently excusing myself to go cry in the loo. Maybe if the house was tidy and a proper meal was on the table for my 8 year old who has perfectly brushed and lice free hair to eat then just maybe everything would be ok and it's my own fault for getting into this mess. 

So yea hence the existential crisis over wether my feelings are valid. Also I think I have a head louse under my nail.

[limetarte]

Let’s not blame feelings for existing. It’s not a bad thing that someone feels disgusted by [insert whatever thing that doesn’t conform], the feelings aren’t bad. Let’s actually think about it, what caused the feeling to begin with? It’s not by invalidating the feelings that they’re gonna disappear or that the cause will disappear, it’s gonna have a reverse effect actually. Feelings will always be neutral, always, literally always neutral. If someone laughs at [whatever they laugh at] and it hurts, it’s easy to blame the feelings and pretend they are wrong, when they aren’t. The truth isn’t their feeling that hurts, it’s what caused them to laugh, the reason you assume or know they laugh, what they might think that causes them to feel this way and laugh, that’s what hurts you, not the feeling actually. The feeling is a consequence, a byproduct of the thought. Like [..] said, feelings will always be neutral, true (but true doesn’t necessarily mean “fact”*). There’s nothing wrong with a single emotion, with a single feeling. None of them are wrong, none of them are bad. Feelings are always a result of something, there’s always a cause for them, the cause may not be always obvious and it might be really hard to identify it, but feelings don’t just exist on their own. They don’t randomly appear.

*but true doesn’t necessarily mean “fact” meaning that feelings are always true, but that doesn’t necessarily make whatever the feelings are about or what caused them inherently that feeling or inherently good/bad/wrong. e.g. a color might make you feel really mad, but it doesn’t make the color bad, yet your feelings are still real, true and they matter. Also this doesn’t always apply, feelings can teach a lot about what is wrong, what is “good”.

[littlemxhoney]

Our feelings are important, they tell us about our needs & desires. I hope you make some space for your feelings today 🥺

[gwen-thinks]

something that people don’t tell you about depression, anxiety, trauma etc is that recovery is not this beautiful healing journey where you figure out the secret to happiness and a clear head and you just come out a different person. it’s hard. it’s really fucking hard and you have to work, probably harder than you even were working before while your mental illnesses stayed dormant.

and that’s what makes me so angry about people who misunderstand disorders and their subsequent treatment. getting help is not easy. you may think that all someone needs to do is wave a magic wand and stop being the way that they are but “getting help” often means signing yourself up for regular therapy, trying out medications, trying out different forms of therapy, processing complex trauma and emotions, reconfiguring your life, challenging yourself every single day to do things you couldn’t before. it’s fucking hard!!

and to everyone out there, like me, who is going through this process - i see you and hear you and i know that we’re going to get through it. and i hate the “you’re so strong” thing but holy shit, we are strong. i know how much effort and work it takes. it’s more than just “drink water” and “go on a walk.” it’s often about rewiring your entire brain.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[caelanglang]

The O(ccasionally)samu D(runk)azai

[hey-hey-j]

role reversal

(★ my Kofi)

[limetarte]

Your feelings are valid. Your feelings matter. Your feelings are important. Your emotions are valid. Your emotions matter. Your emotions are important. It's okay to feel this way. Your emotions are okay. Your feelings are okay. There's nothing wrong with a single of your feelings. There's nothing wrong with a single of your emotions. Your feelings matter and they're important. Your emotions matter and they're important. There is nothing wrong with feeling. There's nothing wrong with feeling this emotion. Your feelings are real and true. Your feelings are real and true. Your emotions are real and true. You matter. You are important. You are worthful. You are enough. You are whole. You are okay. /li

If you need emotional validation, it's okay to DM me. I 100% believe that your feelings and emotions matter, are okay and valid and there's nothing wrong or bad about them. [..] would love to emotionally validate anyone who asks 🫶 /gen You don't have to, either. /gen

[levemetal]

@sillyxaly suggested Jw adopting SJ and it was too fun to brainrot about with @ace-shenanigans too.

Rest assured, no matter the au variation, as long as SJ is adopted by a tgcf character, he shall be the bane of Jw's existence and make him consider early retirement.

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

two of many sunspot doodles because my brain decided to latch onto him for some reason

sunspot is by @venomous-qwille ofc! (Feel free to ignore the tag sorry!)

[inherently-human]

Crowley comes out to Aziraphale as asexual. Aziraphale reacts exactly how you think he will (T, 800 words).

Due to a certain hurtful and frankly just horrifically wrong take, I took it upon myself to write what would actually happen if Crowley told Aziraphale he was asexual. Get your comfort ficlet here.

Little excerpt:

“Crowley,” Aziraphale tries gently. “I don't understand what the problem is. Please, tell me what’s wrong.” Crowley whirls towards the sofa, eyes shooting fire. But Aziraphale knows how to look past it, knows how to see Crowley’s soul hiding behind it, the gentle heart of him that’s afraid of getting hurt. Crowley’s arm cuts through the air. “The problem, Aziraphale,” he spits, “the problem is that you love me.”

[thepeacefulgarden]

[rorydrawsandwrites]

Gangle art drop from GLITCH's account !!

[espacesstuff]

[glitter-stained]

Ngl it really peeves me when the debate about Jason's ethics regarding killing in the batfam mixes up the question of him being a moral character in regards to sticking to his own philosophy (aka compromising with what he thinks is right to salvage relationships, but also exploding trains to evade capture, killing random goons in a gang war, etc) and the question of him being a moral character in regards to whether his philosophy is right. And even with regards to his philosophy there is his philosophy on politics, crime control and harm reduction, and his ethical philosophy itself (utilitarianism, aka focusing on intended positive consequences of actions for the greater good rather than the action being fundamentally moral or immoral in itself). Those are different things. Those require different debates and should not be conflated together. I'm not even saying Jason is right! I think utilitarianism and deontology both suck and fail at providing sufficient guidelines for moral behaviour. ("Everybody still loses" like the nihilist clown says. The symbolism of that one scene is pretty cool on that regard.)

And I think some people at dc would very much like for you to make the connection that because Jason is harming civilians/killing unnamed goons, he is a bad person, and as such you don't need to examine the way his stance on moral philosophy (utilitarianism) opposes Batman's. But that's not right, they don't get to wiggle out of the fact that utilitarianism vs deontology is a complicated debate that has been going on for ages, that there is no clear-cut answer where Batman fundamentally comes out on top, they don't get to use the fact that Jason (in the era currently discussed) is a villain to saddle us with a false dichotomy of "well jason is wrong about stuff so batman has to be right" to avoid addressing the actual question. The traits of the people being tied on the tracks do not change the shape of the trolley problem. The traits of the person deciding to pull the lever do not change the shape of the trolley problem. It's still one lever, three people tied on one track, one on the other, do you pull the lever. That's it. Yes, bending the metaphor to address other questions (such as "who keeps tying people to the tracks" to question systemic violence or "how does my bias, my prejudice and empathy impact my decision to pull the lever depending on who is on the tracks") are interesting but that's not what the debate is about. If I wrote an essay about the trolley problem in high school and focused primarily on the nature of the people being tied on the tracks, I'd get a big fat zero with "off-topic" written in red all over my essay, so I'm not inclined to allow DC comics to get away with it.