#edwin is the most out there about it but like charles and jenny and are right up there
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LOUIS’ E4 COMMENTARY ‼️
(i had a feeling this would be his favorite and it is certainly the most notes he’s had yet!)
Dead Boy Detectives Episode 4 Initial Notes:
Alright lads lassies theys and gays we’re breaking out the good soup for this one
Another suicide warning hm
JENNY LESBIAN EPISODE
Snail mail sexting lmao
Secret admiring is almost never your soulmate I’m so sorry Niko
Also, just noticing the neck tattoo, metal as hell, that had to hurt sweet Jesus
Edwin reading that book like he’s 100 years old, fantastic subtle acting
Skipping around and reading astrology god if only
Men will do anything to avoid talking about their dad tsk tsk tsk
The type of melancholy that attracts me to large bodies of water
“People keep killing themselves” welcome to America, dead boy detectives… too much?
Wanna dress like this fucker when I’m old and crusty
“Those fish stick commercials that I like”
To be an itinerant young person
Hmmm memories or hints of joy and love lure them to their death… people without love torments by the promise of it??? Themes?? Too early???
Age gap discourse between a ghost and a furry I live for this kind of television
“I like your secret parts” ehh 🤮 but also that’s what she’d say to you fucking got ‘em
Lilith again
Dangerous women…
Kite enthusiasts too precious to die
Emotion and illogic THEMES
“LOVE REQUIRES NO LOGIC” I KNEW IT
Oh Edwin 😔
We all need a friend like Niko
“Probably high”
Stop looking without look within in crisis stop looking for answers of identity in other people and start looking at yourself
Tragic Mick!
Attracts evil seagulls ❤️
She’s gonna find the little people
NOPE WAY OFF ITS THIS FUCKER
Hit her with the cleaver immediately
Everyone needs a go to weapon
Come on my man NEEDS to become a walrus
Green represents emotional stability 💚
bait
YEAH
Damn Monty with the fit
Also Niko with the fit
Also Jenny with the fit
Ghost coffee!
Ah, close enough
ahhggEEWWWW AHHH
Mistreatment of dead children… institutionalization of childcare leads to suffering… eternal suffering in some cases
“You don’t belong here anymore” QUEER. THEMES.
OH MY GOD THEY STONED HIM FROZE HIM HOLY SHIT
Highlighting all the worst parts of life to make the child feel like they need you and your system
PUNK ROCK CHARLES PUNK FUCKING ROCK
Yeah it was a bit extreme now that I think about but she’ll be fineeeee
Need for love, false need for control, hurts him, themes
Case closed I guess indeed Niko
Please let Mick have some happiness by the end of the show
I love Niko and Edwin best friends so much UGH
SHES OPENING THE LETTERS AHHHHH
THEYRE BEING CANDID WITH EACH OTHER RAHHH
THE MUSIC IM CRYING
+bonus
[nobody tell him…]
GUYS I ANNOYED ONE OF MY FRIENDS WNOUGH TO WATCH DBDA!! im gonna be posting his live updates in the reblogs HEHEHEHEHE (the score is what got him to cave 👹)
#dead boy detectives#dbda#my friend watches dbda!#save dbda#we will save this show#savedeadboydetectives#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives
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newsflash assholes, everyone in the butcher shop is repressed!
#except niko#we love her and the crumb of emotional intelligence she brings to the group#edwin is the most out there about it but like charles and jenny and are right up there#crystal i think is too but just not as much as the rest of them#shes emotionally intelligent enough to recognize her and others feelings but she doesn't necessarily want to work through them#as evidenced by the fact she takes any chance to not talk about how david the demon affected her until she literally cannot escape it#idk if she knows she does this and that might be why she seems less so than the others who deliberately deflect#edwin straight up refuses any time emotions are brought up and deflects so obviously#he knows hes repressed and hes okay with it#its a very British way of going about it tbh#charles has been angry for the last thirty years and has been smiling the whole time#and jenny is jenny#we all know jenny#she knows shes repressed and shes keeping that shit#shes in therapy and her therapist is like okay jenny lets talk about feelings and she goes ??? what feelings#k mumbles#dead boy detectives
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One thing I haven't seen talked about is Crystal's character arc, and specifically the way the timing of it interacts with Charles' arc. They stumble over each other in the worst possible way en route to their respective character growth, and from a narrative perspective, it's absolutely genius.
I'm going to preface all this by saying: none of this is a criticism of Crystal. Part of what makes her such a dynamic, refreshing character is that you don't get to see women in fiction written the way she's been written. You don't get to see women with her flaws that aren't throw-away mean girls or villains. You especially don't get to see women with her traits who learn and grow and become better people. So yeah, I'm going to talk about Crystal's character flaws. No, this isn't Crystal hate. We love our girl in this house. Okay? Okay. Let's start.
Crystal's character arc, at its heart, is all about her learning to be a better person because she has good influences that love and support her for the first time.
When the show starts, Crystal is not a nice person. She's abrasive in a way that's specifically designed to push people away. She's used to getting her own way, and it shows. She's used to having no meaningful connections with anyone, and it shows. She's breathtakingly selfish, in the very literal sense of the definition. She is focused on her self. Her problems are front and center to her; everything is about what she needs, and what she wants, and how she's struggling.
Jenny calls her out very early on. In episode one, Crystal is complaining about the boys, and Jenny, for all her cynicism, strikes right at the heart of the problem. She tells Crystal, "Everybody is always thinking about themselves, all the time." People only care about their own problems. And she says, correctly, that that's what Crystal is doing, too.
This moment is a revelation for Crystal. For the first time, she considers what her behavior looks like from another person's perspective. As she says, she gets mad at herself over it, and that awareness allows her to do something selfless for the first time in the series. She takes a step back and insists that instead of focusing on her problems, they go to help a little girl. It's a big moment for her.
But importantly, she's not done growing as a character here. She's only just getting started.
On my first watch through, I didn't realize how often, over the next few episodes, Crystal redirects things to her problems during conversation, but it's quite a lot. She's still focused on herself – selfish, in that most literal definition of the word. The issues most important to her are her issues. She's starting to learn to think about other people, but she's not there yet. The process is still underway.
Which brings us to Charles.
Charles' arc is a different sort of self-reflection. He's terrified that he's a bad person the way his father was and the way the boys that killed him were.
During the course of the show, he gets systematically stripped of his confidence and made to feel helpless, and just like Crystal needs outside influences to help her reach a more stable place, Charles does, too. He desperately needs reassurance that he isn't everything he's afraid he is.
But my goodness, the timing in their arcs is such a trainwreck when you put them together, and it is brilliant.
Let's start with the Devlin House.
Crystal has some amazing character growth here. She displays genuine concern about Charles, makes an attempt at comforting him, and learns to work with Edwin even though she still doesn't particularly like him at this point.
Charles, meanwhile, is beginning to fall apart. He's just had the worst night of his afterlife. He's been viscerally reminded of how helpless he is. He couldn't stop the Devlins from being killed over and over, just like he couldn't stop his own father's abuse. He messed up his attempted rescue so badly that he was completely out of commission until the case was finished. He managed to help not one single thing. He made no impact at all. He couldn't help those girls any more than he was able to help himself, while he was still alive.
So they get back to the butcher shop, and what do we see? Monty immediately coopts Edwin. Niko doesn't know what's happened because she wasn't there and Charles has been all fake smiles with her. And Crystal goes off with Niko, leaving Charles to flounder on his own in the wake of everything. She's still learning how to support other people. She isn't there yet, and it's extremely on display in this moment.
Then we get the lighthouse episode, and they both get put through the wringer here. Crystal gets her hopes and expectations jerked around by the Night Nurse in the very worst way, and Charles gets hit with a whole pile full of trauma. All that helplessness wells to the forefront again. Combined with being forced to relive some of his worst memories and the desperation to keep Edwin safe from hell, Charles lets himself act on his anger for once.
And what does he get in the aftermath? Horror.
Everyone who cares about him is horrified by what he's done. Edwin goes so far as to call it extreme. They don't know the half of it, of course; they haven't seen what the Night Nurse just put him through. But in this moment Charles is at his absolute lowest, and all he sees is confirmation that he's exactly as terrible as he thinks he is.
That's why Charles shrugs off Edwin's attempt at comfort, here. When he needed to be able to do something to protect Edwin and also himself – when he needed to believe that he could be better than what his father always was – all he sees is the confirmation from the people he cares about most that when push came to shove, he really is a bad guy.
Then comes the aftermath. And this moment is such a brilliant, awful clash of both of their character arcs. It is so delightfully messy.
Because Charles starts to open up to Crystal here. He starts to lay himself bare, the way he ends up doing with Edwin in episode 5. He's on the verge of admitting something that he's been worried about for literal decades. He tells her, "I've been angry for such a long time."
And what does Crystal do? She's still in the midst of her own character growth. She's still struggling to support other people. She's still learning how to. In a lot of ways, though she's made progress already, she's still that selfish girl that Jenny called out in the very first episode.
And she shows it here it with the absolute worst possible timing. No sooner has Charles started to talk about what's bothering him than she cuts in with her own problems. She's tired of riddles and spirits and demons and not knowing who she is. And the look on Charles' face. The moment when he visibly sets aside his own problems, because Crystal doesn't need any more disasters on her plate? It's heartbreaking. You can actually track the subtle change in his expression there. The actor does a phenomenal job.
And then comes the kiss. And what spurs it? Crystal saying she needs something real.
This moment isn't about light-hearted attraction, the way the earlier flirting is. It's Charles setting aside what he needs – comfort and reassurance and a moment to talk through the things that have been tearing him apart – to give her what she says she wants. He can't even feel it. And Crystal isn't far enough along in her character growth here to realize how selfish she's being. Like Jenny said way back in episode one, she's only thinking about herself.
And then comes the absolute unmitigated disaster of episode 5.
Straight out the gate, Charles leans in for a kiss. From his perspective, they have something together; there's affection there. Charles "I think I'd miss kissing" Rowland, who has been starved for meaningful physical contact for thirty years, is not in a hurry to give this up.
But Crystal is fresh out of a nightmare where she conflates Charles with her abusive ex. She withdraws; she calls what they had a distraction. She cuts it off almost as soon as it's started, so focused on her own worries here that she misses how damn fake Charles' smile is, to cover up that he's coming to pieces.
To be clear, she's absolutely not in the wrong here. It is 1000% her prerogative not to jump into a relationship again while she's still struggling to work through what happened with David. But the arc of her narrative is still early enough that she does it all without so much as the awareness that her focus on her own issues has hurt Charles terribly.
And then the episode really kicks off, and both of them are in shambles in very different ways.
Crystal is projecting her issues with David onto Charles. She has a lot of history, and David seems as though he's exactly the right sort of toxic to leave lasting a lasting impact. But Charles hasn't done anything to deserve her assumptions, and he takes the brunt of her temper here and throughout the episode.
Charles is desperately projecting onto the dead jocks. He very badly wants them to be good guys, because he sees himself in them and he needs himself to be a good guy. He snipes back at Crystal for the very first time in this episode, and he does it in the worst way possible, accidentally prodding her where it will do the most damage.
They're both hurting. They both say some truly painful things to one another.
She does not need to hear that she has unsorted hangups about David still plaguing her while she's unable to move past them. He desperately does not need anyone to tell him that he has rage issues while he's still struggling to think of himself as a decent person.
They apologize, in the end. They start to move past it.
But it's telling that Charles doesn't try to open up to Crystal again. He goes to Edwin instead, even though Edwin is the one who called his actions regarding the Night Nurse extreme. He gets the reassurance he needs so badly; he gets the connection he was looking for with Crystal from Edwin, instead. (I have a lot of thoughts on why Charles initially tries to open up to Crystal so quickly, but it is very much an aside, and this is already extremely long, so it will have to wait for another write-up.)
But the important thing here is, Edwin is the one to offer Charles what he needs to overcome the self-doubt eating him alive. Edwin provides the physical affection Charles was seeking in the form of that long-overdue hug. Edwin is the one who's able to reaffirm for him that he's not just a good guy, he's the best person Edwin knows.
And for all intents and purposes, Charles' major character arc ends here.
Charles has a few last little moments to go on the path to rebuilding his own self-image, after this, but for the most part his concerns have been resolved. He saves Crystal in episode 6 and Edwin in episode 7, proving to himself that he's able to make a difference in the face of overwhelming odds. He's not helpless, no matter what the Night Nurse told him; he can be a force for good in the world. By the end of the series, his crisis of self-doubt seems to have been largely overcome.
But it's the conversation with Edwin at the end of episode 5 that really allows him to work through his most pressing issues. Edwin is there to help support him when he stumbles. Edwin provides him the comfort he was looking for while Crystal was too worried about her own problems to notice how badly he needed the help.
Crystal, meanwhile, still has a ways to go after episode 5. The last three episodes are where she does her most important character growth.
In episode 6, she learns some hard lessons about keeping secrets and letting people help and appreciate you even when you can't offer them anything in return. And Charles, importantly, is there for her every step of the way. He consistently offers her physical and emotional support. He models for her, in a very real way, what it looks like to have someone prop you up when you need the help.
And in turn, Crystal steps in to save the boys. She's the big damn hero at the end of this episode.
The breakthrough continues into episode 7. She's so intent on helping to get Edwin out of hell that she literally goes to face her own demons, not for herself for once – not for her own purposes or needs or wants – but because she wants to help someone else.
And episode 8, at long last, brings her to the culmination of her character arc.
Crystal is at her absolute lowest here. Her family, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, didn't even realize she was gone. Her precious memories, that she's spent the entire series trying to regain, have showed her that she's not the person she hoped she would be. She's overwhelmed enough that she means to flee, to cut herself off from her new friends entirely.
Then the boys get kidnapped. And just like that, she makes up her mind.
For the first time since the start of the series, she sets aside her most important issues in order to let what other people need take precedence. She disregards all of her own personal concerns and focuses instead on others. She's finally stepped out of those selfish impulses that Jenny calls her out on, all the way back in the first episode. She's finally learned how to support other people when they need it.
Crystal has finally figured out how to be there for others, despite having troubles of her own.
It's a lovely arc, and it's beautifully done.
Charles' is just as touching.
And god damn, but it was a brilliant narrative choice to have their character arcs line up in exactly the wrong way.
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I just keep thinking about how Crystal is still a Mean Girl - she starts right off by trying to insult Charles, she gets vicious at both Charles and Edwin, she enjoys tormenting Twitchy Richie - but surrounded by better people than she used to be she is able to become someone good, nevertheless
And on the one hand, the obvious hand, you have Charles. He gets insulted and just goes “I’ve spent the last 30 years with the person I love most in the world insulting me any time he gets moody; I know it’s not really meant and he actually loves me; why would I bother getting upset about this?” and lets it slide off him without a moment’s notice, not even considering rising to it. Crystal doesn’t get what she expects to get out of it when she’s mean, and it’s obvious how that helps her in learning other ways of interacting with people
But on the other hand I don’t think we can discount how Edwin helps, either. He DOES rise to it, he gets just as vicious right back - and then displays care and concern and kindness for her. He lets her get her meanness out but shows her that being vicious with your words doesn’t have to mean being vicious with your heart. He bickers with her, gives her an outlet, and then goes back to treating her exactly the same as before their superficially venomous argument.
And, again, she doesn’t get out of it what she expects to get out of being mean, because he rises to it: he doesn’t get beaten down. He isn’t scared or cowed, she doesn’t get a rush of power; he isn’t pushed away, she doesn’t get the safety of solitude; he isn’t sad or hurt; he isn’t even angry in the “any attention is good attention” way her neglected heart craves. He just treats this as part of the natural course of interaction, unaffected; regardless of how she talks to him he still just treats her the same way he would any other living girl at first (except Niko, of course, you’re an angel and we’re all delighted you’re here) and then like a friend.
That’s also sorta mirrored with Niko and Jenny: Niko fails to even consider the possibility of Crystal being mean, and that helps; but also Jenny does get cussed and snapped at and does react but maintains a steadying presence, letting it slide off in her own way that involves saying “what the fuck” and then going back to being quietly, albeit profanely, kind, and that helps, too.
I dunno just! Edwin and Crystal’s friendship and how they can take their bitchiness out on each other while still caring about each other and how that helps Crystal change, it’s important to me.
#dead boy detectives#mine#crystal palace#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#edwin payne#edwin paine
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Hi! I hope you feel better soon!
This is a great prompt by @academicblorbo about Hob Gadling being the landlord of the Dead Boys. It has a wonderful fill already by @omgcinnamoncakes but I’d love to see what you come up with for it!
Alternative prompt from me if that doesn’t work for your brain: remember the date between Jenny and Maxine? How about one between Jenny and Esther? Poor Jenny is going to really question her taste in beautiful blonde women 😭
Thank you! I saw ‘landlord’ and ‘decades’ and blacked out. I love Hob having them as tenants. Maybe even before the modern day meeting in Sandman.
The Sandman/Dead Boy Detectives, 2.4k, G Dream/Hob, pre-slash, alternating/outsider POV, found family, a reunion and revelations etc.
---
Hob did not, strictly speaking, have tenants. It was more of a minor haunting. Pun intended.
The small room above the pub and below his flat wasn’t worth charging anyone rent for; when he first bought the building he had put a handsome oak desk in there and some bookshelves before wondering who he was possibly keeping up appearances for. Who was he going to take back upstairs that would stop and say, Wait, can I see your office? So he’d left it as more or less an abandoned room.
When he realized a pair of boys were using it as their clubhouse, he didn’t do anything at first. He saw them quietly coming and going a couple times, disappearing around the corner of the first landing. Brazen things. He meant to call after them, but the shout had died in his throat. He’d been young once. He still remembered the need to get away from it all. It was only when he went to check if they’d been making a mess of the room that he discovered it was still locked.
He’d crouched down and inspected the latch and found no marks at all. Huh, he’d said, and jiggled it again, and been a little more interested in whatever clever way they were getting into it after they disappeared up his stairs. Then he didn’t see them for weeks, and assumed they had gotten bored and stopped.
Until they came back. In the middle of an argument, striding through the pub like they owned it. Hob straightened up as they passed him.
“I cannot believe you broke the mirror.”
“I was in a rush! It’s not my fault you forgot you needed Arcana Incantatum after we arrived at the church. And found the demon.”
“I hardly forgot, I only made the mistake of assuming you would know to pack it by now.”
Hob raised his eyebrows. The boys disappeared into the back hallway. He followed them as they went upstairs, too preoccupied with their drama to notice Hob. They turned onto the landing, still carrying on. Even as they walked through the door. The locked, closed door.
Hob blinked. Then he drew his keys from his pocket and opened the door. The boys were still inside. One of them was pulling a mirror out of a backpack that was several times too small for it. They didn’t even look up, and Hob wondered how he couldn’t possibly have put it together earlier. He cleared his throat.
“Hello, boys.” That caught their attention. Hob grinned. “Seems we’re neighbours.”
---
Edwin abhorred getting involved with the living. He and Charles got along perfectly well on their own. They were a duo. An intrepid pair. Best mates, like Charles often stressed whenever he was about to ask something particularly ridiculous of Edwin. They were solid together. As solid as two ghost boys could be. The living, though, were messy and unpredictable.
Perhaps the most salient fact at present: Charles invariably became attached to them.
“He’s sad, mate. I can see it in his eyes.”
“You said those exact words in ‘94 about a dog. At least ask Hob himself.”
Before you decide to adopt him too.
Hob Gadling, irritatingly, was unobjectionable on every ground Edwin could think of. He had made no imposition upon them. When he found them, he only asked them their business, and then told them he was usually downstairs, or upstairs, if they needed anything they couldn’t procure themselves. He had an interest in rare and old books, as it happened. In explaining this, he had also hinted at being far older than his looks would suggest, which vexed Edwin twice over. He knew his curiosity would not be slaked until he talked to Hob, but then he would be the one getting involved with the living, and Charles would hardly let him forget it.
“Do you think he’s really immortal? Mate’s far too calm. Last week I saw him stop a fight downstairs by stepping right between these huge blokes. He just said something and smiled and they backed right off.” Charles lit up. “Do you reckon he’d teach me how to do that? Conflict de-escalation, innit? I could show him some moves with the cricket bat, I bet. Oh, do you think he’s a cricket fan?”
It was obviously a hopeless case, and since the Dead Boy Detectives never took on hopeless cases, there was only one course of action that remained. Edwin had long since disabused himself of the notion he needed to breathe. He had no beating heart, yet when he was startled, he would find himself clutching his chest. Now, he exhaled slowly through his nose in an entirely superfluous sigh of resignation. “Well, Charles, shall we go talk to him?”
---
When the millennium came around, Hob found himself celebrating it with his accidental tenants. There was something gloriously satisfying about being able to make a toast to the next one and have it taken seriously. He’d asked them if they had something better to do - spectral trouble to get into et cetera - and they both looked at him with almost identical put-upon and incredulous expressions.
Hob had a terrible suspicion they thought they were taking care of him as much as he thought he was taking care of them.
Edwin, with his insatiable curiosity and, deep underneath it, something Hob thought he recognized from himself: a sharp animal ferocity and a refusal to go until he’s good and done, natural laws be damned. Charles, still brightly, painfully alive for a ghost - who should be alive still, by all rights, but nothing of this life was fair - who joked to cover up hurt in a way Hob knew too, and glowed any time Hob turned so much as a kind word to him.
He wondered what they saw when they looked at him.
The year ticked over, and technology kept working. Charles grinned innocently and said he could probably possess the telly and break it that way if Hob wanted?
Hob’s heart twinged. He knew they weren’t his, not to keep, but it seemed that teenagers didn’t change at all over the centuries, even if the boys were only sort of teenagers in the way Hob was only sort of in his thirties. It didn’t change that they’d been punted from the mortal coil before having a chance to grow up, and figure out the kind of men they were, and make their own choices and fuck up and try to be better than their fathers, and everything everyone deserved. Hob had made more than his share of mistakes. They hadn’t been given the chance to make nearly any at all.
So they made toasts to the new millennium, to the detective agency, to themselves, all stuck out of time in different ways and refusing to move on for different reasons, and Hob allowed himself to think of Robyn and privately pretend that they were his all the same.
---
A week later, Hob was reminded of the other universal traits of teenagers when he mentioned his stranger and both boys began to grill him with terrifying alacrity. Before turning to his dating life, like ravening bloody wolves. When Edwin had asked, in a specifically nineteenth century manner that Hob remembered all too well, if Hob had always been unmarried, he’d nearly put his head in his hands.
“It can be hard for me to associate with the living too, you know. For obvious reasons.”
Charles had turned to Edwin and hissed “See? I told you.”
Right in front of him. Nobody had taught them manners.
“Manners, Charles,” replied Edwin loftily. “We will, of course, respect your privacy. A man is entitled to his secrets.”
“You’ll go upstairs and rifle through my personal things, is what you’ll do,” said Hob.
Charles coughed to hide his laugh. Edwin flushed and looked away. Hob snorted, and told them about Eleanor and Robyn. Properly. It was a strange relief. He’d told the story wrong for plausibility’s sake so many times he had been worried he’d forget the truth of it one day.
They had listened, and been remarkably quiet until Charles piped up and offered to set him up with a ‘really fit’ ghost. Hob had roundly shut that down. Woefully, not all explanations were satisfying enough. Charles cornered him again the next morning while he was cleaning the bar.
“No, mate, I still don’t get it.” Hob was about to say he no more wanted to be with someone who couldn’t feel pleasure from his touch than someone who would grow old and be taken from him while he stayed the same, when Charles went on, bafflingly, to ask, “Why don’t you meet your mysterious friend more often than once a century?”
Hob sighed. “Adults are often busy, Charles.” Nevermind that he had begun to wonder the same since the eighteenth century. He’d always just assumed time passed differently for his stranger.
Charles just laughed and perched himself on the bar top. “Ooh, low blow. We’re busy too, you know. Plenty of cases to solve.”
“Really,” said Hob. “You’re busy. Right now.”
Charles waggled his eyebrows.
“Charles, I am not a case,” said Hob, sternly as possible. “I’m not even a ghost. He’s not a ghost. No ghosts.”
“We could investigate. Maybe ghosts are involved. What even is he? Why every hundred years? Is it some sort of Persephone situation?”
Hob bit his lip against shouting I don’t know! I don’t know anything about him! Instead, he tried to smile, and felt it come out as a wince instead. “He’s very private.”
Charles scowled. “Yeah, obviously. You don’t even know his name. He can’t be that good of a friend if he’s too busy to see you more than once a century.”
Hob couldn’t see the expression on his own face, but he saw Charles’ shocked reaction well enough. It was so long ago for him, and still Hob knew at once what Charles saw now: that first time you manage to visibly hurt a grown-up’s feelings, people who seemed too old and too stern to actually feel pain, when you’d been going around kicking at them like a new foal, just to stretch your legs.
“Sorry,” said Charles, instant regret chasing his surprise. He was a good kid.
“It’s alright,” said Hob. He meant it. He looked down at the shining bartop. His hands were restless with the urge to light a cigarette. He gave in. It wasn’t like Charles would be dying of lung cancer any time soon if he decided to follow Hob’s example. “I don’t think he would say he’s very good at being a friend either. Truth is, I’d love to see him more often. But we had an awful fight the last time we met. If he forgives me, I’ll have to ask.”
“Mates always make up,” said Charles earnestly. He was such a good kid.
“I suppose they do.” Charles still looked sorry, and Hob clapped him on the shoulder. “Hey. Thanks for looking out for me, Charles.”
Charles beamed at him. “Always. We’ve got your back, me and Edwin.”
---
Charles couldn’t bloody believe it. Hob’s friend was here. There was nobody else it could be. He and Edwin were watching from a nearby table, pretending to be absorbed in their own conversation. Neither man noticed them. They were too busy looking at each other.
He couldn’t imagine spending more than a century apart from Edwin. The way Hob had talked about him and his stranger over the years, it sometimes seemed like they were best mates too, no matter how little they saw each other. He was dead sure that’s what had Hob looking so gutted when he thought nobody was looking. He had known they would make up, though. Maybe now Hob would be happier.
“Charles, we really ought not eavesdrop,” hissed Edwin. Right as he scooted his chair closer, the cheeky hypocrite. Hob and his friend were talking too quietly to properly hear, their heads bent together. Lots to catch up on, Charles reckoned. A hundred years. He couldn’t stop thinking about the number. It seemed impossible. Funny, he couldn’t imagine that long away from Edwin, but he could imagine spending that long being best mates. There was nobody he’d rather hide from Death with.
Hob’s face was doing something strange as his long-lost friend talked. Then Hob moved and grasped him by the shoulders, so tight that his knuckles stood out in relief. The man said something in low tones and Hob shook his head, and then pulled him in for a hug. The man stiffened and then relaxed, and his arms came up around Hob’s.
Their cheeks both looked wet.
Charles swallowed and it felt suddenly a little like he was choking. He should look away, only he couldn’t.
“They must be great friends,” said Edwin softly.
“Yeah,” he managed to croak. We won’t ever need to have a reunion like this because I’m never going to lose you, mate. I won’t let them take you. It was stuck behind the phantom lump in his phantom throat. His hand, without him telling it to, reached out and grabbed hold of Edwin’s. Edwin squeezed it hard, and Charles knew he didn’t have to make his voice work after all.
Then the man pushed Hob away, but only far enough to grab his face and pull him back again, thumbing over Hob’s cheeks, and beside him, Edwin honest-to-god gasped, and then Charles momentarily forgot how thoughts worked too.
---
It happens thus: in the New Inn, just next door to the White Horse, some 639 years after they first met, Hob Gadling and Dream of the Endless share their first kiss. Neither, if they had bothered to think about it, would have intended to have an audience, but it’s a well-known fact that some kisses cannot wait, and theirs was chief among them, being that it had so much to say, and was so very long overdue.
I missed you, it said, and I came back, it said, and Please don’t go away from me again, and I could not.
And atop them, like blankets, were laid invisible the daydreams of those who saw them, including two long-dead boys, whose dreams were woven from the fresh and unaccounted-for possibilities of Hob kissing his mysterious stranger. Another man, thought Edwin. His best friend, thought Charles. Dream was the only one who could have heeded this, but he did not, because Hob Gadling was holding him tight and daydreaming loudly of this kiss and more, of this today and tonight and tomorrow, ever greedy and ever easily pleased, and Dream could hear nothing at all over their clamouring and comingled joy; the bright gold daydream between the scant space of their bodies that sounded so much like at last.
#asks#the sandman#dead boy detectives#fic#crossover? fusion? i guess? who is to say! not me!#dreamling#perhaps some notes of chedwin#(a fabulous ship name btw. i may not get cob but i WILL get chedwin)#author wrote this while sick as dog so please excuse errors :')#might put on ao3 later if i have a chance to clean it up and expand on it a little!#my writing#me yesterday: 'i really don't see the appeal of blending both stories beyond doing it for the sake of it'#me today: 'no you don't understand they NEED each other here is my chart of the interpersonal dynamics and a list of all the ways hob can h#accidentally writing the new inn reunion scene i'd always dreamed of oops
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things i would have loved in season 2 (that I may have to write myself now)
niko reuniting with the boys (especially Edwin)
more Charles and Niko interactions! bc i would love to see the group split up and niko and charles come up with some off the wall insane plan (that somehow works????)
by the same logic more Crystal and Edwin team up, but most of their investigating is them snarking at each other (I need a bitch off between them, I need it like I need air, please give me the 'bitchy-annoyed-siblings-vibe!')
the crew trying out different names for the night nurse and her slowly losing it more and more each time.
jenny getting to go on a date that maybe isn't a murderer???
Charles obviously realizing his feelings for Edwin, but immediately moves into jealous territory. double points if it is over someone/something that he literally doesn't even have to worry about.
more of the sprints being assholes. even for just a moment.
the cat king showing up and just being the wet cat he was at the end of the season (all 'hey edwin, what's up, noooo i'm not lonely look at me!')
there's a million more things but god, do i wish we'd gotten some of these
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I think the reason why there are so many amazing ships in Dead Boy Detectives is because the show manages to show different versions of love/lust/devotion through different relationships all characters have.
Like, love triangles have been doing the whole "a girl has to choose between two guys who each being out a different side of her" for over a decade in popular media, some more, some less successfully. But the pitfall they often fall into is that those differences seem very shallow and often ignore the other aspect of the main person who have to choose between the love interests.
Dead Boy Detectives makes sure to not do that.
When we look at how Charles is with Crystal vs how he is with Edwin, we can clearly see the difference. In the beginning of his and Crystal's dynamic, he is flirtier and puts more if a bravado, but he pretty quickly opens up to her. Because he sees that she very quickly sees past his facade he puts up with his constant happy-go-lucky persona. Only when he starts opening up to her and showing his emotions does their relationship progress. Because after David, Crystal needs someone who can be emotionally vulnerable with her and in turn, Charles offers her the same, and offers her a safe space.
In contrast, we see that Charles is more at ease around Edwin. They know each other deeply, and are also woven into each other at this point. It's easy, like breathing. One thing it doesn't do is challenge either of them from the status quo they have built over the years. But there is a sense of ease there, and such devotion. There is no question about what they would do for each other because the answer is everything.
That said, while they both bring out different sides of Charles, those sides of him feel intricately linked to one another! Which is why Crystal coming into the pictures begins changing Charles' relationship with Edwin as well! It brings to light things they have ignored. And in turn, Charles' clear and unwavering devotion and loyalty to Edwin prompts Crystal to learn it herself. To quote Jenny in ep 8, "you were about to leave and never see these boys again, but now you are going to save them"? And yes, she does exactly that.
This even has influence on Edwin and Crystal's rs directly, which I can't recall ever seeing in a love triangle before, at least not in a positive sense. But it's so clear that Charles loves both of them that the other learns to love them too, and they realize their own similarities through it, too!
As for Edwin and his many love interests, well. I know there has been a lot of debate, especially around Cat King vs Charles dyankics with Edwin, but the thing is-you are comparing apples ajd oranges here.
The Cat King is enamored, fascinated by Edwin, and yeah above all, attracted to him. This dynamic serves to challenge both of their characters' beliefs and shake up the power dynamics between them. Whenever you like the Cat King or not Edwin clearly reciprocates the attraction part, at the very least.
Charles loves Edwin and is devoted to him and Edwin to him turn, as discussed above. What is difficult about their relationship is that it became stagnant due to lack of communication, which is why they needed other relationships to shake up that dynamic.
But to address the most prominent comparison I saw, which is the Cat King saying he'll wait for Edwin vs Charles going to Hell to save him.
Both are types of devotion, is the thing. A profession of love, if you will. To this day, we consider Penelope a faithful, loving and devoted wife for waiting for Odyssey for 20 years. Cat King saying he'd wait for Edwin isn't any small confession, given he is aware it could take decades, if not more.
Don't get me wrong, Charles going to literal Hell to save Edwin and succeeding where Orpheus and Eurydice failed is an enormous success and a way to show you love someone. I am not minimalizing that at all.
I am just saying that, for who these characters are and given their rs with Edwin, they did exactly what they were supposed to. They expressed in which ways Edwin had influenced them and what they can offer him if that dynamic becomes romantic.
Cat King represents experience, patience. As an immortal he has all the time in the world to wait for Edwin to return from hell, because he believes Edwin is strong enough to return on his own.
Charles represents love that breaks all obstacles in their way. He goes to save Edwin because he believes Edwin deserves to be helped in the way he helps others. He deserves to be saved.
My point is, there is no better of worse way of loving someone. The character in the love triangle choose the person that better alignes with who they are and who they wish to be as a person. So yes, you are absolutely allowed to say "I think this character would choose person a because it alignes better with their character development" but comparing the two as one being superior is kinda pointless imo? Exploring different dynamic of a character is the goal here, right? Either through canon or fanon.
...I was gonna talk about Crystal/Niko and Edwin/Monty too but this post got away from me to uhh. Might do another one if anyone is interested but in their way! I adore the way DBDA explores different sides of characters while still making them feel like a fully rounded person and doesn't shy away from letting one rs influence other rs character has.
#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#crystal palace#edwin payne#the cat king#payneland#cryland#catwin#rio's rambly analysis
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On one of my recent rewatches (note taking for color analysis), my partner sat and watched with me, and I thought I would share some of the things he had thoughts on in no particular order:
•He also believed that Niko's sprite attention cloud was a physical manifestation of soulmatedness/lesbianism directed at Crystal like the rest of us did
•He owns an older Miata, so he was pretty pleased with the fact that Esther owned one (the first time I had watched, I involuntarily clocked it (I am not a car person), so when she confirmed that I was correct in the last episode I had told him that he should be proud of himself, lol.)
•Loved Esther up until the very end
•He enjoyed the music
•I don't think he was fully sold on Niko at first, but she quickly became one of his favorites
●He liked Crystal the most from the beginning (He asked how people hated her because I talked to him about my frustration with some weird takes that were going on, to each their own, but that one also still confuses me.)
•'You're my best mate' "oof, not the friend zone"
•Both Esther and Niko seemed to have all of his favorite lines
•I accidentally spoiled the fact that Niko 'dies' but I didn't say anything about what happens after the fact, so when the last couple of episodes were foreshadowing her dying, he basically went 'but I don't want her to die :('
•In addition to the previous point, the morning before we watched the last two episodes (we had to watch it in chunks), he was talking about how he doubted that we would get renewed (not in a mean way) but the last episode closed out he immediately said he was angry there was no season 2 and that this show deserves at least a season 2
•He wasn't fully convinced that it's Niko in the Igloo at the end
•He wants Jenny to go to London because he loves her
•He got frustrated with nobody listening to Tragic Mick's story and cheered when Niko asked him to continue
•He wants Mick to be able to be a Walrus again
•He essentially said 'My god, he wants to fuck the cat' lol
•He struggled to describe the vibes he was getting off of the Cat King, he has yet to find the words
•He loved the cats (probably because they said fuck and other such words)
•He also enjoyed the dandelion sprites
•There wasn't a whole lot that he had to say about Edwin and Charles, just kinda vibed
•He apparently missed the Cat King's cat form the first time, so he saw the second instance and said,"Of course he's orange"
•I also asked the rhetorical question, "Who told the ghost population of Port Townsend that the Dead Boy Detectives and their new medium were there?" Without hesitation, he went, "It was the Cat King."
•He has been exposed to Orbwin and Chorb content on here and is deeply entertained by it, so he looked really worried after the explosion at the butcher shop so to help I pointed and said "Look, it's Chorb!" It helped
So, needless to say, if you haven't already watched it, you should watch Dead Boy Detectives.
#edwin payne#charles rowland#orbwin and chorb#crystal palace#niko sasaki#jenny green#jenny the butcher#tragic mick#the cat king#dandelion sprites#esther finch#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dbda#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#renew dbda#rewatch dead boy detectives
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followup on my post about dbda & loneliness.
'dead boy detectives' is a show where fundamentally, every character is very very lonely. but, they make each other less lonely. jenny is a surrogate parent for crystal, edwin and niko are always there for each other, crystal and charles understand each other, charles and edwin complete each other. there's just something so beautiful that even though they are all in pain and lonely, they are not alone, they have friends who would literally die for them.
i realized i was queer pretty young and in a very non-accepting environment. i was the only queer person i knew for a really long time, and that was really hard for me. and there was something devastatingly beautiful about watching edwin go through the a similar journey and not be alone.
dbda is important for a million reasons. but i would like to focus on one reason in particular.
'dead boy detectives' illustrates that there are multiple different ways to realize one's queer identity. you have simon, who is so wrapped up in self-hatred that he tears other people down with him. you have edwin, who is utterly unwilling to express any desire in such a way but ultimately embraces it. you have monty, who seems to have always known he was queer and always been very okay with that. you have charles, (i include him because i believe he is, but that can be debated) who goes on a long journey to realize it due to his circumstances. and they are all valid, and they are all real, and some of them hurt other people. because when the world hurts you so fundamentally, sometimes you end up hurting other people too. and you have people who have never had an issue with being queer, and that's great. and you have people who have to come to terms with it and it is hard and it is beautiful but they don't have to do it alone.
and that MATTERS. so often in media, we have a narrow, limited perspective for what realizing one's queer identity means. but there are so, so many different ways to figure yourself out, and dbda shows that in a very tangible and real way
the stories you tell are the stories we hear. so if @netflix only wants to tell stories about straight white people (maybe featuring a token gay character, so they can put it under the lgbt section), then that is the stories that people will hear
chimamanda ngozi adichie gave an incredible ted talk, back in 2009, called 'the danger of a single story.' in it, she discusses how, when you only tell & hear a singular story about a certain group of people, that becomes how you perceive the entire populace.
when a coming out journey is limited to its popular depiction (*realizes* *is kinda sad* *gets a bf*) then that is what all queer people are reduced to
look, i get that netflix has a couple of great shows featuring multiple queer characters, and i've watched & loved most of them. but god if i am not tired of people telling me to watch heartstopper. (i did & it's great & that's not the point.) the point IS that there should not be Two Gay Shows on your platform. because then the entirety of queer people are reduced to that.
now, maybe if it was just dbda, i wouldn't be so up in arms.
BUT THE FUCKING PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY ADAPTATION?????????????????????????????????
you CANNOT reduce queer people to shows that aren't worth renewing. you CANNOT erase queer characters from classic lit just because you want it to be more mainstream. when you do that, you are reducing queer identities to the single story you are willing to tell.
(to be clear i'm not blaming all of homophobia on netflix. i am simply pointing out a way in which they are contributing)
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Thinking about how if Jenny did come to London with the others, and if Monty does manage to turn back into a human and ends up joining the agency... there's seven members of the agency. Which means that there's one that matches up with each member of the Endless.
Edwin---well, that one's obvious, isn't it? He's come face to face with Despair, walked in her domain, stared her in the eyes as she quietly declared that they were friends now. He is, at his core, deeply and profoundly sad, and there's no denying that. Until Edwin allows himself to be happy, Despair will always have her hooks in his heart, and even when he's free of them, she will always linger in the faintest parts of his ghostly aura, will always be there whenever he travels through a mirror.
Charles... oh, Charles. We all know which of the Endless he would be the most affected by, don't we? He claims that he can't say he's in love with Edwin back, but the minute those words left his mouth, Desire was up there in their domain, cackling at how fucking idiotic this boy is. If we get a season 2, we will absolutely see them taunting Charles, purring into his ear that they know how much he's been ignoring his own desires and wouldn't it be nice to just acknowledge it, darling? Edwin was able to tell you, why can't you just say it back?
Crystal already feels as if she's losing her mind half the time, and doubly so now that she's fully warring with two very separate sides of herself. Would it really be a stretch for her to try to help a lonely-looking girl with wild red hair one night, only to touch her and immediately get pulled into a world that is a riot of color and confusion and things that don't and shouldn't exist? Delirium would probably be kind to her---her default state tends to be kind, even if not everyone sees it that way---but I doubt Crystal would have a good time there, even as Delirium compliments her on her name and proudly proclaims that she's a shiny rock and a pretty building and a football team and a flying machine all in one.
Niko's lost somewhere right now, and we all know she has a long journey home. I don't think it would be unlikely for her journey to eventually lead her to a palace with a roof made of stars, or a library full of every book that has ever been written---and every book that never has. And Dream might see this girl who doesn't belong in his world, but who can't take his sister's hand, and show her the way back to her friends. After all, she's lost so much and is still full of so much hope, and how could Dream not admire someone like that?
Monty... well, he spends all his time looking up at the stars, and not just because they sparkle and shine and all of his crow instincts say that they're treasures meant to be plucked from the sky. He wants to know the future, his future, to find out whether or not he can be something other than just a witch's pet. And maybe, some of his wanderings will one day lead him into a labyrinth, and he'll come out the other side in the garden of Destiny. Will Destiny let Monty read from his book? Probably not, but I think being there might be comfort enough.
There's a slim chance of Jenny ever meeting Destruction, but they are more similar than you may think. Jenny, like him, is a prodigal who left her post, whose life always seems to fall apart, who struggles with a whirlwind of emotions that she can barely comprehend. And while he's off in a secluded land, finding new ways to channel creation rather than the purpose he was made for, she's rebuilding her life, as crazy as it may be.
And, well... we all know who the Night Nurse works for.
#dead boy detectives#sandman#the endless#edwin payne#despair of the endless#charles rowland#desire of the endless#crystal palace#delirium of the endless#niko sasaki#dream of the endless#monty finch#destiny of the endless#jenny green#destruction of the endless#the night nurse#death of the endless
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Good Enough
Pairing: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland
Rating: T
Word Count: 4.000
Read on AO3
So, Edwin is in love with him.
Edwin loves him, and Charles genuinely never even considered the possibility of this, of them, before.
It might be because, back when he was still alive, his dad would have beaten the notion right out of him, but then again, his dad has been wrong about most things in his life, so fuck him.
So, Edwin is in love with him.
It’s… quite flattering, actually. To think that Edwin, who is beautiful and intelligent and educated, who can recite his favourite Keats poem by heart just as easily as tell you his favourite Mozart aria (it’s Konstanze, dich wiederzusehen from Die Entführung aus dem Serail, Edwin told him that, years ago), who knows spells and can read ancient Aramaic, who is the kindest, most brilliant person Charles has ever known, would love him.
Now, Charles knows that he is easy enough on the eyes, good with words and people, and has one hell of a swing if you give him a cricket bat, but the only reason he knows any Mozart aria is because Edwin showed them to him.
The only reason he knows Keats’ poetry is because Edwin would read them to him on slow, warm summer nights in the early 2000s.
The only reason he is here, is because Edwin let him stay.
So, it’s special, having someone like Edwin love him.
It’s fucking terrifying.
Because Charles is now holding the heart of the person he loves most in the world, and it’s a bigger responsibility than any he has ever taken on before.
He can’t fuck this up.
The thing is that nothing changes between them at all.
Charles isn’t sure if he expected it to, but what he is relatively certain about is that it most likely should. After all, it was an unexpected revelation, probably to both of them, definitely a shift in their relationship.
And yet, when Charles looks at Edwin, who is reading a novel whose name he cannot make out, curled up on the couch they have gotten for Crystal (and sometimes Jenny), he doesn’t feel different at all.
It’s still Edwin, his best mate, the boy that read to him when he was dying so he wouldn’t have to do it alone, who tries to smile whenever Charles shows him a new song he has fallen in love with, and occasionally fails hilariously at, who Charles would protect with his life and his soul and his cricket bat, no matter how high the stakes.
I love you the most, Charles thinks to himself, and smiles, because nothing about that has changed, either.
He has told Edwin that they would have forever to figure out the rest, and it’s the truth, technically speaking.
However, Charles doesn’t, because it’s Edwin and he has given Charles his heart and he doesn’t deserve to wait that long for an answer. It would be cruel in a way Charles cannot comprehend, and if there is anyone who doesn’t deserve more cruelty in their existence, it’s Edwin Payne.
The only problem with that fact is that Charles doesn’t know the answer.
He’s been thinking about it a lot, but the thing is, he’s never been in love before.
So he doesn’t really know what to compare his feelings for Edwin to, because, of course, they are greater than for anyone else, of course, Charles would sacrifice anything and anyone for Edwin, especially himself, of course, making Edwin smile is his favourite part of any day.
Because he loves Edwin, everything about him.
But is he, could he be, in love with Edwin?
Charles doesn’t know, nor does he know how to find out. It’s not like he hasn’t tried, but every novel he has paged through, every silly romcom he has watched, has been talking about butterflies in someone’s stomach, of seeing them in some new, golden light, of hearing violins playing when they speak, and Charles very much doubts that Edwin feels any of those things for him.
Otherwise he wouldn’t raise his eyebrows like that when he thinks Charles is being an insufferable little prick, he wouldn’t roll his eyes and tell him, “I know, Charles, you have told me a thousand times before”, whenever Charles brings up how much he wishes he could still taste things, or groan whenever Charles attempts to convince him to just try and let him put on some eyeliner.
(It’s just that Edwin would look so pretty like that, some kohl to bring out the warmth of his eyes, making them stand out even more than they do anyway.)
So all this talk of violins and sparkles and the need to give someone roses, if Edwin doesn’t feel that when he says he is love with Charles, then it’s pointless to consider, and anyway, those books and films describe people who have just met, not those who have known each other for twice as long as they were alive.
Maybe if he had just met Edwin, he would be hearing violins, Charles definitely thinks it’s possible.
Especially the violins in Konstanze, dich wiederzusehen.
“I just need some time alone”, Crystal says, putting on her jacket, while already opening the door. “And I am aware that that is a novel concept for the two of you, since you are basically attached at the hip, but for me, an alive human being, it’s really important to occasionally have a second of peace between almost dying and whatever we will have going on next.”
She stops to put on her shoes, almost falling over in the process, and Charles and Edwin share a look, a smile, and Charles thinks, I love you the most.
“Don’t follow me”, Crystal tells them, especially Charles, and it’s kind of cute, actually. “I’m going to get the biggest frappuchino Starbucks is legally allowed to serve me and I will not tolerate any ghostly company while doing that.”
Charles holds up his hands, still grinning, indicating his surrender in a battle he wasn’t aware they were fighting, and Crystal gives him a single nod before she walks out.
“So”, Charles starts, and turns around to face Edwin, who is already looking back, “what do we think this frappuchino she was talking about, is?”
Actually, there is one thing that changes between them after all.
It’s subtle, at least at first, but looking back, Charles isn’t quite sure how he managed to miss it for the few weeks that have passed. Maybe it was the shock of almost being forced to move on to the afterlife, the chaos of getting Crystal and Jenny settled in London, the fact that it seems to increase only slowly, incrementally.
Edwin has never been a physically affectionate person, completely contrary to how Charles is.
If it had been up to him alone, he would have hugged Edwin much more often, would have leant against him when they were looking through a book together, would have held hands to keep them from losing each other when things got hectic. But it wasn’t, and that was fine, so it was occasional touches instead, a hand on Edwin’s upper arm, his back, ruffling his perfect hair when he was doing something kind of dumb, kind of cute.
(That one always made him duck his head and smile, glance up at Charles through his lashes and allow a second to pass before he started fixing his hair again.)
Now, however, it’s… it’s not getting better, because there was nothing wrong with it in the first place, Edwin’s aversion to physical affection, but it is changing now.
It’s less that he initiates it, more than he allows it to happen more frequently. Sitting down next to Charles on the sofa instead of taking the armchair, allowing Charles’ hand to linger on his arm for a moment longer than expected, letting their shoulders brush when walking.
He’s not asking to be touched, not really, but something about it still makes Charles irrationally happy as soon as he catches onto it. Because Edwin deserves all the affection the world can offer, and Charles will always be here to give it to him.
So he reaches out in the morning, when the sun has just started to rise, and puts his hand on the curve of Edwin’s shoulder, right where it meets his neck, and points out that the clouds are turning the most beautiful pink. He throws his legs across Edwin’s lap when they settle down on the sofa at night, a book in Edwin’s hands, the tablet Crystal made him buy in Charles’. He pushes his fingers through Edwin’s hair, not to ruffle it, but just to pretend he can feel its softness against his skin.
It makes Edwin duck his head again, give Charles a little smile when looking up, and Charles thinks, I love you the most.
And thinks, I want to love you the most in every way you will have me.
“Jenny, I have a question”, Charles starts as soon as he has phased through the walls of her new butcher shop. It’s to her credit that she hardly reacts; the first time he had done that, she had thrown a meat cleaver right through his head. “What do you know about love?”
Instead of a knife, Jenny just throws him a weary look, an eyebrow elegantly arched. It makes Charles think of being scolded by the headmistress, a sensation that should be much more unpleasant than it is.
“Nothing”, Jenny answers and brings her cleaver down with a dull thud, separating flesh from bone, before looking up at Charles again. “No one ever knows anything about love and if they try to tell you otherwise, they are lying.”
There is a certain sense of finality in her voice and Charles knows he has been dismissed, no detention this time, but don’t dare to push it.
“Great”, he mutters, more to himself than to Jenny, “that doesn’t help me at all.”
“You should look at this, Charles”, Edwin says and turns the book towards him.
It’s late at night, Crystal having long since gone home and they are sat on the sofa, shoulders touching while they do their research. A new case has come up, and Edwin is trying to learn more about ancient Celtic runes, while Charles is pouring over a map of London’s underground; now, he looks up and at the page Edwin is showing him.
“We could add this to your bat”, Edwin explains, “it’s a rune for physical strength. Supposedly, it doubles whatever force you put into a hit.”
“Edwin, mate, are you trying to tell me I need help with hitting people?”
Charles is grinning, obviously teasing, and Edwin just scoffs, rolls his eyes.
And that is what Charles means; this isn’t birdsong and candle light, this is just how they always have been. This is what makes them them, even.
“Charles, do be serious”, Edwin replies, but there is affection in his voice, there is love. “I am perfectly aware that you can hit things very well, but that doesn’t mean that hitting them even better wouldn’t be an advantage.”
“I know. This is brills”, Charles concedes, and on a whim, nothing more than that, presses a quick kiss to Edwin’s cheek.
For a moment, he almost expects Edwin to admonish him, because this isn’t exactly something that they do, but instead he stares at him, before he ducks his head; Charles isn’t sure how he knows this, but if Edwin could, he would be blushing.
And it does something to Charles’ head, the thought that he would be able to make Edwin blush. It makes him stop dead in his tracks, look at Edwin not like he is seeing him for the first time, but like he could be looking at him for the rest of his existence and not get bored of it.
“Do you wanna do the honours of carving it? Since you were the one who found the thing?”, he asks just to say something, aware that his voice sounds slightly off, and thinks, I love you the most. I love you the most. I love you the most.
“Very well done, Charles”, Edwin tells him and clasps a long-fingered hand on Charles’ shoulder, peering down at the leprechaun he knocked out clean with his bat a few seconds before.
The rune really makes it pack a punch.
“I don’t think this will pose any further problems”, Edwin continues even as he crouches down to examine the passed-out form crumpled on the ground. He prods at it gently.
“It fucking better”, Charles replies, resisting the urge to pull Edwin away from the leprechaun, just in case that touching it might have some kind of magical side effect. “And if not, I’ll punch it right back out. I’ve got an Edwin Payne-improved bat after all, it won’t stand a chance.”
Just for good measure, he twirls the bat around once, twice.
This has always been one of his favourite parts of the job, the simple pleasure of knocking someone out before they get the chance to hurt his friends.
Edwin looks up at him from where he is crouching, and Charles grins at him, metaphorical adrenaline running through his non-existent veins still. He would punch out a bear if Edwin asked it of him.
Before he can say anything else, though, Crystal clears her throat from behind him, sounding decidedly less impressed.
“That’s really cool, yeah. New bat, I get it”, she says, walking around Charles so she, too, can see the unconscious leprechaun. “But you do remember that we actually wanted to talk to him, right?”
They get to talk to the leprechaun in the end, who turns out to be about as obnoxious as expected, but does admit to stealing the heirloom they were looking for for his pot of gold.
He even gives it back, but only after Charles has started twirling his bat again.
“And another satisfied customer”, Charles comments as they return to the agency, flinging his backpack into the corner.
“Client, you mean”, Edwin corrects, but still smiles at him, and pats the space next to him as soon as he sits down on the sofa. Charles flings himself down without a second thought, legs landing somewhere across Edwin’s laps, one of his hands settling on Charles’ ankles.
This is new, at least to some extent, and Charles loves it, the feeling of Edwin’s fingers on him. It feels right, somehow.
I just really love you the most, he thinks.
“Yeah, whatever”, he concedes and looks over at Crystal, who is watching them with something in her eyes that Charles cannot quite place. Not bad, per se, just…. Strange. “Doesn’t sound that good though, does it? And anyway, the most important thing is that they’re satisfied, right? Passed on right to the afterlife, no worries keeping them here any longer.”
“As if it’s only worries that could keep one here”, Edwin replies, his tone as dry as the desert, but making Charles laugh anyway. “We should be the best example for that.”
“You know what I mean!”, he shoots back, “It isn’t like with us, is it? Don’t think that the client was kept back by meeting the love of their life, were they now?”
It spills from his lips like nothing, without Charles thinking about it for a single second.
He’s still laughing, but Edwin’s fingers have stopped where they were gently stroking across the arch of his foot, and then Charles realises it, and for the first time, hears silence.
For the first time since they got back from Hell, they part when Crystal leaves.
The conversation had been stilted after Charles’...slip up? blunder? confession? and although it had been obvious that all three of them had been trying, it had been impossible to get things back on track.
So, Charles leaves with Crystal, telling Edwin he will walk her home, although that is something he has never done before, and Crystal lets him, although he is fairly certain she wouldn’t under normal circumstances.
She doesn’t need anyone protecting her from the city she grew up in after all.
“How do you know you’re in love with someone?”, Charles asks after they have walked in silence for a few minutes. He can’t think of a way to cushion the question, how to make it less awkward to ask, so he doesn’t bother with it at all.
“This is about Edwin?”, she asks, seemingly to clarify, and Charles nods mutely, not looking up at her. “I’m not sure. Especially not when it comes to the two of you. For Edwin, I could have seen from miles away that he was in love with you, even if he hadn’t reacted like he did when we first met. For you… you love him, anyone with eyes could see that, but if you’re in love with him, I think you have to figure that out yourself.”
“Do you know how it feels, though? Being in love?”, he asks, just in case Crystal can at least tell him that.
“I’m not sure”, she answers after a moment, then links their arms together, pulling Charles closer. “I think that’s different for everyone. But I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out what it feels like to you if you let yourself.”
He walks Crystal home, but when she asks if he wants to stay, Charles just shakes his head.
Edwin is back at the agency, and Charles isn’t sure exactly in which state, what he is thinking, and Charles cannot allow that. At least not for long.
What he does, though, is taking a little detour to the park not too far from their building.
It’s the first time he really pays it any mind, even if it’s most likely not the first time he’s been there, but now, Charles lays down on the grass, looking up at the night sky.
London is too bright for him to see many stars, but there’s a few of them; Edwin would surely be able to point out a constellation or two.
And that’s the thing, isn’t it.
Edwin isn���t here, and yet he is with Charles anyway, always, in every moment of his existence.
Sighing, he scrubs a hand down his face. There’s no way around it, it has to be now, and it has to be the right answer, the one he truly means, because Edwin deserves nothing but that.
No false hope, and no heartbreak that might be taken back along the line.
So, he thinks of Edwin, of his elegant hands and the swagger in his walk when he feels confident, of the colour of his hair and of his eyes, of the curves and slopes and sharp cuts of his face.
He loves that face, has seen it with every possible expression painted across of it, and still loves it.
The stars above are dim and partly hidden behind the clouds, so Charles lets his eyes slip shut, and imagines coming home to the agency and taking Edwin’s hands in his.
They would be just a little smaller than his own, his fingers slender and yet so capable, and if he could still feel, Charles is convinced they would feel cool against his skin.
He imagines pulling Edwin close and holding him like he has always wanted to, burying his face against the side of Edwin’s neck and pretending he can breathe in his scent. Having Edwin sneak his arms around Charles’ waist and cling to the back of his jacket, like he doesn’t want to let go again.
In his imagination, it feels a little like the hug they shared after being granted asylum on Earth, but it would be entirely different, because it wouldn’t be out of relief.
Instead, it would be just them, embracing to feel the other close.
And he thinks of pulling back from the hug, seeing Edwin smile and kissing the curve of his lips, nipping at them until he can make Edwin laugh and teasing his mouth open to lick into it.
It would be like kissing Crystal, kind of, only that-
Only that it wouldn’t be like that at all.
He runs back to the agency, as fast as his spectral feet can carry him.
Edwin is sitting right where he left him, almost like he hadn’t moved an inch since Charles walked out of the door, and he hopes to all deities he can think of that it isn’t so; knows, at the same time, that it is.
“Hi”, Charles greets, because he doesn’t know what else to say, and Edwin nods and gives him a smile, brittle and unsure and hopeful, all at once.
“Hello, Charles. Did Crystal get home safe?”, he asks, and it’s so painfully polite it makes Charles cringe.
“Yeah. Yeah, sure, of course she did”, he responds, trying to figure out how to begin saying what he needs Edwin to know, but Edwin beats him to it.
“Did you mean it?”, Edwin asks, breathes out the question like he still has lungs to do so, and it’s in that moment that Charles is more certain of his answer than anything else he has ever thought, because Edwin sounds small, sounds vulnerable and breakable and yet so fucking hopeful, and Charles wants to pick him up and cradle him against his chest and never let go again.
“Yes”, he says, and it’s sunrise and violins and bouquets of roses all at once, it’s a single word that changes the world around them. “Kind of. Let me explain.”
And Edwin nods, sits back with his hands in his lap and all Charles can think about is that those same hands belong holding a book, resting on the top of Charles’ legs, which should be flung carelessly across Edwin’s lap, just because Charles wants to be near him.
“You’re the love of my life, no matter what”, he starts, crouching down in front of Edwin so he can take his hands; they look so lost. “You have been for decades. I love you the most of anything in the world. I will always love you the most. Every time I look at you, it’s just that on repeat in my head. I love you the most.”
He ducks his head, laughing softly, because it sounds silly now that he says it out-loud, but when he looks back up, there are tears brimming in Edwin’s eyes, making them shine even brighter.
His lips are parted and for just a moment, Charles thinks about kissing them.
“And you know, I still can’t say that I am in love with you back, because you don’t deserve a lie, but what I can say, what I can promise you, is that I could fall in love with you. And that I want to. More than anything.”
A single tear rolls down Edwin’s cheek, glistening in the dim light, and Charles looks at him, and thinks, I do. I am. I love you the most.
“Could that be enough?”, he asks, squeezing Edwin’s hands in his. “At least for the start?”
And Edwin nods so frantically that more tears spill over, wetting his face, and Charles can’t help but laugh; how strange to think that making Edwin cry for once is not his biggest fear, but something that fills his heart with joy to the point of bursting.
“Okay. Brills, that’s-”, he replies, and can’t keep himself from smiling so wide it would hurt if he was still alive. “So, um. Can I kiss you? I really want to kiss you right now.”
Again, Edwin nods, and he is smiling, too, looks so happy that Charles thinks heaven must be overrated, because nothing in the whole of existence could compare to this.
He thinks of the scene he pictured in the park of holding Edwin close and how much in pales in comparison to this, to holding Edwin’s hands and watching him glow with love and hope and warmth.
And leans in to find out if the same is true for kissing him.
(It is.)
#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dbd#edwin payne#edwin paine#charles rowland#painland#payneland#paynland#chedwin#charles x edwin#edwin x charles#i have written 10k for them now it has been 4 days since i watched the show#what is happening
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No but actually I love how central Crystal is to the story. She's the only reason the group ever goes to Port Townsend and therefore the only reason most of the plot even happens.
Even if you're just watching the show with shipping goggles (a lot of people let's be honest) you still can't extract Crystal from the story. She's the only reason Charles and Edwin go to Port Townsend, but also her arrival into the boys' dynamic shakes it up enough for it to start changing. She's the one who finds out about Charles' dad and then pushes Edwin to figure out what Charles has been hiding from him. She's also the one who pushes Charles to recognize his own repressed emotions and to deal with them. She's central to Charles' character arc over the show, and even though she's not as central to Edwin's character arc, she's still a catalyst. Niko, the Cat King, and Monty are more directly important to Edwin's arc, but Edwin and Charles never would have met and helped Niko if it hadn't been for Crystal (Niko likely would have just died from the sprites alone and this is deeply sad to think about), and Edwin also would never have met either the Cat King or Monty without being in Port Townsend. (Monty probably would have never become human.) Maybe if things had been different Edwin still would have been dragged back to Hell, but Charles would have had to find a different way to rescue him. The Night Nurse was only there to open the door to Hell because Charles and Edwin were stuck in Port Townsend long enough for her to track them down, and on top of that she was only able to track them down because of their connections to living humans (Jenny) through Crystal. And then Edwin's confession on the staircase was only really possible because of the realizations about himself that he had beforehand because of the influences of Monty and Niko and the Cat King. Crystal called Edwin and Charles a dead married couple on acid and that basically what they were: they had been together for so long with just each other, and they were so familiar with each other that their dynamic had become habit and they were taking for granted the things they thought they knew about each other...Charles is the happy one and isn't haunted by his past the way that Edwin is, Edwin isn't interested in romance and connecting with living people, etc. Crystal, and then Niko and their other friends as well, showed up and brought in a new perspective on their relationship and their lives and their problems, which allowed them to develop their relationship in new areas.
Independently of the boys' relationship though, Crystal's story is really done so satisfyingly. Her character arc of figuring out who she is is unfinished, but already it's cool how the story builds the contrast of who she is now versus who she was before her memories were stolen, where one of the biggest differences between the two versions of herself is whether she has people in her corner who truly care about her and support her, and whether she has people she cares about in return. She's also the only one able to defeat Esther in the end. The Elemental would have just swallowed Charles and Edwin without her, and summoning Lillith was something only she could do. And it's really cool how her role in the story creates a theme of connection to other people being vital. She forces Edwin and Charles (mainly Edwin) to interact more with living people, through getting them to take cases for living people and by being a way to get information from the living more easily, which ends up causing some bad things for them but also causes a lot of good things too. Like she brings in Niko, who is the reason Charles and Edwin don't get separated after returning from Hell. And even her powers rely on being able to connect with her roots and her heritage and her self. The way that ties into themes of identity are very interesting as well.
TLDR: I really like way the story used Crystal and I'm excited to see where her story goes if there's a season 2.
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Swearing in Dead Boy Detectives: Fuck
Overview:
Fuck was said a total of 90 times, in all 8 episodes and by 15 different characters.
Uses Per Episode:
Fuck is said in all 8 episodes of the show, one of only 4 words to do so.
Episode 1: 7
Episode 2: 5
Episode 3: 13
Episode 4: 5
Episode 5: 8
Episode 6: 13
Episode 7: 16
Episode 8: 23
Uses Per Character:
Fuck is said by 15 different characters, more than any other word.
Edwin: 2
Charles: 5
Crystal: 20
Jenny: 18
David: 12
Esther: 6
The Cat King: 6
Tabby Cat: 2
Calico Cat: 1
Litty: 8
Kingham: 5
Brad: 2
Hunter: 1
Twitchy Richie: 1
Girl in Crystal’s Memory 2 (Club Fight): 1
Percent of Total:
Fuck is used 90 times, which is 27.9% of cursing in the show.
Variations:
There are 7 variations of the word used in the show, with the most popular being Fuck, which was used 42 times.
Fuck: 42
Fucking: 37
Fucked-up: 7
Fucked: 1
Fucker: 1
Fuckboy: 1
Mindfuck: 1
Rankings:
Total Uses: Fuck comes in first for total uses, being said 90 times.
Number of Episodes: Fuck is one of only four curse words that is said in all 8 episodes- the others are Shit, Ass, and God.
Most Uses of a Word in a Single Episide: Fuck holds 5 of the top 11 spots.
Most Uses of a Word by a Single Character in One Episode: Fuck took the title here as well, being said 10 times by Jenny in episode 8.
Total Characters: Fuck comes in first for number of characters to say it, with 15 using it throughout the show.
It is one of only two words said by the main trio of Edwin, Charles, and Crystal, the other being Damn.
It is one of only four words said by both Edwin and Charles—the others being Damn, Bloody, and Bloody Hell.
Favorite Word: Fuck is the favorite word of 7 different characters: Jenny (18), David (12), Litty (8), The Cat King (6), Kingham (5), Tabby Cat (2), and Brad (2).
Curse Word Variations: It comes in first for most variations, with 7.
Lines:
Episode 1:
Charles: Edwin, hurry the fuck up!
David: I'll fucking gut you! (x2 while possessing Crystal)
Crystal: It's just a stupid fucking name.
Tabby Cat: Fuck you. I'm not telling you nothing about that house or the witch inside.
Crystal: So maybe he's our fucking demon now!
Edwin: Police don't know what to do with a fucking witch!
Episode 2:
Litty: Little ghost fucker!
Litty: I'm gonna tell you something, because I think you really need to hear it, okay? You should go fuck yourself.
Litty: You know what? You can take that sweater and you can shove it up your ass. Do you have any clue how powerful we are? We are fucking gods!
Kingham: You better hope we never get out of here or we are going to fuck you up, like 'brass knuckles and mace' fuck you up!
Episode 3:
Jenny: It's a super fucked-up story so I'm gonna need some coffee
Crystal: What the actual fuck?
Calico Cat: At least we don't have to go inside. This house is fucked up.
Crystal: Just what the fuck is it?
Litty: Looks like they left you behind because you fucking suck.
Litty: They're all gonna fucking die.
Litty: We were fucking kidding, can't you take a fucking joke?
Litty: Stupid fucking bitch!
Charles: I'm just sick of watching this asshole kill his family a million times for no fucking reason. Tried it your way, and it did nothing. Sod it. Let's try mine. (x2 due to time loop)
Charles: His dad was bad, Edwin. Royally fucked-up bad.
Crystal: I am done wasting my energy on your fuckboy bullshit.
Episode 4:
Jenny: Ok, so you're what? You're just, you're not gonna leave until I explain this even though it's private and go the fuck away?
Tabby Cat: Fuck off. The kid had a sardine.
Crystal: You fucked with my head, I'm gonna fuck with yours.
Charles: Every day, I'm fucking smiling.
Episode 5:
Twitchy Richie: The fuck is this?
Jenny: Oh my fuck.
Crystal: You walk around acting like the sun always shines, and then you lost your shit while beating the Night Nurse. Edwin and I are walking on eggshells around you instead of just saying 'what the actual fuck?'
Jenny: What the fuck, Maxine?
Hunter: Oh, fuck that, you whiny little bitch.
Brad: It's a fucking tragedy that we died, okay?
Brad: What the fuck does that mean?
David: I'm a demon! And I always get what I fucking want!
Episode 6:
Crystal: I want to keep this demon the fuck out.
Jenny: Just like whatever the fuck I am doing is none of yours.
Crystal: It's like he's fucking haunting me.
David: Oh no, I'm so fucking scared.
Charles: Don't listen to him Crystal, it's just some sort of a mindfuck, innit?
David: Why the fuck do you smell so weak?
David: What the fuck did you do?
Crystal: I gave up my powers, OK? I got you out of my fucking head.
David: Now, she's just another fucking terrified lump of human flesh!
Crystal: I am nothing special, So why don't you just leave me the fuck alone?
David: Did you really think that you could beat me with a fucking cricket bat?
The Cat King: Do you hear me? I will stop fucking playing nice!
Esther: Teeth Face, what the fuck?
Episode 7:
The Cat King: Why the fuck are you here?
Esther: I know you blew up Monty's spot, you little fucking snitch.
The Cat King: I don't give a fuck, OK? End of audience.
The Cat King: That was my third life, you bitch. I only get nine. Would you fuck off? Fuck!
Crystal: Fucking bullshit, like I can't help.
Crystal: God, that's fucking insane.
Jenny: Fucking kid.
Jenny: What the fuck?
David: Why the fuck would you even want that?
David: What the fuck did you do? Where are we?
David: Maybe I was just fucking with you.
David: Fuck! Fine, you got your memories back.
Jenny: What the fuck was that?
Esther: You, you.. you think that you're the only one who's ever been screwed over? You're not. I fucking deserve this!
Edwin: That is so fucking stupid, It's unbelievable!
Episode 8:
Girl in Crystal’s Memory 2 (Club Fight): Get your fucking hands off my boyfriend, you slut!
Crystal: Oh, my God. Oh, I'm a fucking awful person. Oh, God, I'm the worst.
Jenny: What the actual fuck?
Jenny: And why the ever-loving fuck is my hair braided?
Jenny: Fuck that! That is bullshit!
Jenny: No fucking way.
Kingham: "No fucking way" to you. "No fucking way" to that side braid. What the fuck is that?
Jenny: Fucking fuck!
Jenny: Screw it. I'd rather know my own life, no matter how fucked-up.
Jenny: Jesus, fuck!
Crystal: Fuck! (Esther has the boys)
Jenny: I figure a meat cleaver can cut up a witch, but what the fuck do I know anymore?
Crystal: Because whatever fucked-up little thing you have going on with Edwin, you must care about him a little.
The Cat King: Fuck me. Did you even listen to my story?
Esther: Oh my God, my own sacrificial knife? I'm impressed. But I'm not fucking around that you're also gonna patch that wall before you die too.
Esther: Who the fuck are you?
Esther: What the fuck? Hey hey hey no! What did you just do?
Jenny: God, that sounds so fucking procedural.
Crystal: I don't have to give up my new fucked-up life while I'm trying to sort out my old fucked-up life.
Notes:
Not included:
In episode 1, Crystal flips off Edwin in the malt shop.
In episode 2, Litty flips off Charles, Edwin, and Crystal with both hands, and then later Kingham and Litty both flip off Edwin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More Dead Boy Detectives Swearing Posts:
Masterlist
Swearing by Episode
Swearing by Character
Swearing by Word
All Swearing Posts
And if you like lists of things like I do, you can check out my other Dead Boy Detectives ones here!
When Charles’ Shirt Colors Change
George Rextrew’s Edwin comic inspo board
Full soundtrack with timestamps
Moves, Incidents, and Cases Masterlist
First pass at finding where the songs in the score are used- full post with timestamps in progress
#dead boy detectives#dbda#dead boy detective agency#dead boy detectives swearing#swearing by word#word of the day: Fuck#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#jenny green#the cat king#esther finch#tabby cat#calico cat#brad and hunter#twitchy richie#kingham and litty#dandelion sprites#girl in Crystal’s memory#david the demon#compiled by me#Dbdshow
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hi there! I started following you after seeing your essay-long answers to DBD things in tags, and it made me very happy to see someone as deeply analytical as me about this show.
I wanted to ask you: if you were given the final say, how would you want the show to confirm both Charles' bisexuality and his romantic feelings towards Edwin (as both can be done at different points)?
Personally, I can't get the idea out of my head that it will be done with some kind of tragic goodbye, somehow Charles and Edwin have to separate, and Charles either verbally confirms it or kisses Edwin goodbye. Not saying that's what I want, but it's what I expect the writers to do.
Hope you're having a good day.
btw, would love to hear you talk more about timerogue (Fifteen/Rogue), I need more essay-long analysis about those two.
Hi there! <3 I am so happy you have enjoyed my tag rambles! And thank you so much for asking this great question, I had a lot of fun thinking through it!
I have many thoughts on this! Sticking them under a cut eventually because it is a long post!
Re: Charles' bisexuality: So the thing is I think that the DBDA universe generally seems to eschew labels in favor of showing rather than telling the audience what the characters' identities are. For example Jenny is interested in dating women, which is clear from her dialogue, and she goes on a date with Maxine, but she's never labeled anything. Edwin is never labeled anything by anyone in the narrative, either, but the narrative shows us that his only love interests and his desires and romantic feelings are for other boys. I would argue that we have been shown textually that Charles is bi, already, the same way the show shows-not-tells us other things. Charles by the end of the first season feels bi enough to me in a way that just feels like someone... living a bi life, and not yet realizing they might in fact be in love back with their best friend. I don't know how else to put it but I hope that makes sense. (My alternate, slightly sappier version of canon is that Charles fell for Edwin the first night, but has shoved it down for the duration of their friendship, but the former feels more likely as the direction I think we see on screen.) We are being told Charles is bi:
In the way Charles himself draws parallels between why he likes Crystal (his romantic love interest) and Edwin, pointing out they share the exact same traits
In the way he gives Crystal and Edwin the same genre of deep, loving gaze
In the way he thinks Crystal is fit, and he checks Edwin out, on multiple occasions, but only flirts with Edwin overtly in episode 8 ("My smile is pretty convincing," plus more than the usual amount of physical touch/proximity and less plausible deniability) once he can be assured by Edwin's recent confession that doing so will not be poorly received
In the different kinds of softness and masculinity he displays around both Crystal and Edwin
In the way that, despite not knowing the ending, he draws a parallel between himself and Edwin & a pair of lovers from classical mythology as though it is the most natural thing in the world to bring up the story of Orpheus & Eurydice, making overt the romantic potential of his relationship with Edwin
In the way he is so quick to write off that the two jocks were "just best mates" the way a person does when they are recognizing their own queerness in themselves and have to keep themselves safe from it, because of the environment that they are in (Charles being the Sports Lad, needing to fit in with other sports lads, and needing to avoid the censure/violence of his father)
And coming off the above, in the way that Charles navigates along the toughness-sensitivity spectrum within the social constructs of being "the brawn"
In the entire sparring scene in episode 1, tbh. The rituals are very intricate /drops mic
I understand the importance that's been placed by fandom spaces on "confirmed canon" queerness that is spelled out in so many words, given a label that can be pointed to to say "This character is definitely this!" but I think (and this is just my personal opinion) it can be reductive sometimes, and I don't really want Charles to label himself in that kind of way, just as much as I don't think the other characters needed the labels to "confirm" the queerness of their relationships or indeed of the show; having him be the one to do it for being bi would set him apart. I also think taking into account the time period that he grew up in, Charles would care more about living by the truth of how he feels and how he can use those feelings to connect with the one he loves, than what to call it. I just don't think we're gonna get like a "Hello my name is Charles Rowland and I am a verified bisexual"-type scene in season 2, and I think that's okay, and I don't really think that's the way for the show to 'confirm' it. Mind you I would love to see Charles talk about how it makes him feel to realize his feelings, and how his feelings for Edwin are different compared to how other people make him feel, because god, I love Charles so much and I just know such a scene would both destroy and heal me. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, CHARLES <3
I think it says something really important that many, many, many people took one look at Charles Rowland and said: "Oh, he's bi." Not like... he has bi energy, or could plausibly be bi, or whatever; for so many people he just resonated as being bi, in a very organic way. (I know there are people who do read Charles as being straight/having rejected Edwin in s1, and I respect that, but they probably will not like my ideas about Charles very much, then, tbh.)
For what it's worth, though, Jayden's acting choices playing Charles, and the way Jayden (and George) have addressed the 'straight best friend Charles' line of questioning during interviews, both make it seem to me that Jayden is intentionally playing Charles as bi and we are already supposed to understand this for what it is, based on Charles' actions—just as we understand similar things about other characters inner worlds we are shown. Whether Charles is consciously aware of it yet is more the up-for-debate part to me, personally. It's like he is dancing right on the edge of the revelation, or something, but his actions (and his EYES) are speaking for him pretty loudly already.
As for how he confirms it more obviously? Hmm. Well, I'll admit i think a kiss between them would be lovely, if only because I think it would quite possibly be the Most Kiss a kiss could be, with all of Charles' tenderness and adoration for Edwin poured into it. I also think it would be in-character, given Charles canonically misses kissing, and wants to do it with people he's interested in romantically (see Crystal).
Charles struggles with being able to admit romantic feelings out loud because he is scared of his own capacity to hurt Edwin; after all the only example of "romantic" love he has seen was his parents' marriage. Charles is a person who acts first, thinks later, but in this process of understanding what he feels for Edwin he's taking his time and being the opposite of impulsive. This shows how important his relationship to Edwin is to him and his commitment to Getting It Right. Even with that deliberateness, though, I think it would still be easier for him to express himself through a tangible action like a kiss than through words—at least at first.
It reminds me of this scene from the first draft of Maurice between Maurice and Alec. Alec is struggling to verbalize his feelings for Maurice, although he does know he feels them. He can say other things, but naming love for what it is is the challenge; and in the end they use a shared memory of a time Alec showed his love through actions (running through the rosebushes just to see Maurice's face) to communicate and mutually understand their love for each other. Similarly, Charles finds it difficult to admit a deep romantic love aloud, but his actions speak louder, in his determination to retrieve Edwin from hell ("There's no one else—no one else—I would go to hell for") and he can allude to the romantic implications of the act, by referencing the Orpheus & Eurydice myth. It similarly becomes, I may not be able to say the words, but you and I both know the lengths i would go to for you.
Maurice : "I love you, sir be damned." Alec: "Maurice"—never before had the word been spoken—"you're an angel." Maurice: "I don't want to hear that." Alec: "Maurice, Maurice" his voice failed also; he had once said the rest to a woman. "Maurice - what you've said I feel. Understand?" M: "I think so, but I want to be sure. Remember those rose bushes in the other rain? - Look at me hard - That's right. That'll do. It's settled."
As far as the catalyst for Charles revealing his feelings... a tragic goodbye—gosh, as heartbreakingly compelling as I know seeing George and Jayden act that out would be (I know they would crush it), I really hope the writers don't do that to them! The thing about Payneland that is so refreshing to me is how they manage to subvert trope expectations and break out of the tragic narratives they are placed in, and I think they would ultimately defy any attempt at separation. As Edwin says, "I will make sure that doesn't happen," about them ever being split up. I am rooting for a happily ever after for them, because they have both been through enough, and have fought tooth and nail to stay together.
Steve Yockey has mentioned potentially having Desire of the Endless cameo on the show and I also think having them and Charles interact would be a fascinating way to bring to light some of the deep-rooted stuff Charles struggles with around love (and would nicely parallel Edwin's experience with the Cat King which catalyzed his Charles-feelings realization). I also like the idea of the team maybe meeting a couple during a case who parallel Edwin and Charles and are romantically involved. Seeing that would allow Charles to externalize the way he feels for Edwin by seeing it reflected back to him by other people; sometimes things are easier to pick up on in others than in ourselves. I think that would be a fun way to get him to see what's been there under the surface for some time :)
Oh my god this got so long asfhlgkjhg SORRY
(I'm sure the Doccy Who fixation will come back in time for the Christmas special! :D)
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Edwin Payne may be charmingly ignorant of most current technology, but if anyone took the time to teach him he would actually really love spreadsheets. Look at his notes and case filing systems. He would find Excel soothing once he got used to it, but given where he's starting from he is going to need help at first.
Unfortunately the current prospects for anyone being willing and able to teach him are slim.
Charles: may well have tried out an early personal computer at some point in his brief life, but probably not enough to be particularly skilled. After death, he hasn't exactly bothered to keep up with new technology when he spends his time hanging around with Edwin dealing with ghosts and magic. He'd like to learn this new skill alongside Edwin, but spreadsheets will probably never be his forte.
Crystal: Gen Z trust fund baby, seems to have dropped out of school. Only the most cursory acquaintance with spreadsheets. She will probably show the boys how to use a smartphone and the internet, but if she tried to teach Edwin a spreadsheet program she would reach the limit of her knowledge within five minutes. Maybe three.
The Night Nurse: she's a bureaucrat, but her supernatural bureaucracy seems to be exclusively analog. Even if she had the knowledge, she does not have the patience or the time.
The Cat King: would volunteer to teach Edwin spreadsheets, claiming he uses them when his role as king demands some administrative tasks. However, the actual lesson would consist of him sitting on Edwin's keyboard and/or lap and demanding attention. Not helpful.
Monty: The closest he's come to a spreadsheet is that he too attempts to make everything into a date.
Jenny: as a business owner, Jenny uses Excel regularly. She doesn't know all the advanced functions, but she is efficient with the parts that are relevant to her. However, no fucking way is she going to teach it to someone old enough to be her great grandfather who is also simultaneously a teenager. She has a headache just thinking about it.
Niko: with her excellent reading comprehension and neat room, Niko also seems like she would appreciate a good spreadsheet. While like Crystal she is also a teen who hasn't been attending school lately, one gets the impression she used to pay attention in class, so she had the opportunity to learn. She might well have a Google sheet to keep track of her manga. She's not an expert, but she knows the basics and would actually enjoy showing them to Edwin.
So, we have to hope that S2 will get made and feature Niko's revival from her current mostly dead state, because otherwise Edwin will never realize his true potential as a spreadsheet power user.
#i don't know if anyone else will care about these headcanons but here you go anyway#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#dbda#spreadsheets
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why i love the edwin-crystal sibling like relationship from memory and why it makes me love crystal even more
there simply isn't enough online about 1. how awesome crystal is as a character and 2. how awesome her and edwin's relationship is. so imma dump all my thoughts here from pure memory.
ep1: so yeah, they start rough. but when jenny points out to crystal that she's so focused on her own problems that she's ignoring everyone else's, just like how she said the boys did, she resolves to change that. she realized she was being unfair because it was pointed out and she decided to try and be better. when edwin breaks down, she's listening. she's listening and understanding. she tells this boy, who has not been the nicest to her but she's beginning to understand, that she gets it. that she sees him, that his unnoticed death matters to her. she sees the sharp, jagged, raw and emotional parts of a boy that she'd only seen as cold and logical thus far. and when his unusually timid voice asks if they can focus on becky's case, she agrees. in the butcher shop, she offers to once again explain the internet to edwin. implying that she'd already done so. and she says it without any condescendence. when she's knocked to the ground, edwin helps her up and they sort of cling to each other as charles is reckless.
ep2: not as much here from what i remember but there's still some stuff. edwin does actually commend her actions in luring the sprites out, followed by telling her not to do it again. from an emotionally repressed boy from a time when fixing each other's clothes was the most intimate thing you could do in public, thats quite a big step.
ep3: one of my personal faves. crystal is quick to point out that edwin is jealous of her and charles. she does actually assure him that nothing would happen and its just a small show of her care for his feelings. now, in the house, do they bicker and argue? yes they do. but i would argue that most of that is fueled by their anxiety and fear for charles. when crystal points out that charles has issues, he ultimately listens. its shown immediately the next ep when he tries to be better and offer himself as a safe space, something he wouldn't have thought to do without crystal's guidance. when they actually work together, its incredible. crystal literally fights her own personal demon to get back to the boys. edwin is trusting her enough to openly admit that he has no idea how a vhs works and trusts her to put in the work to save his person. when she's in danger, he pulls her out because he cares and she's given him reason to. she doesn't question when she comes out from her own head and edwin immediately asks for help, something he almost never does. when she talks about how she's a bad person, edwin immediately tells her that she isn't. he wastes no time in assuring her that she couldn't be anything but the person she is now. she also points out the moment charles' mask goes right back up and offers a lot of insight to edwin. because edwin hasn't really had a friend before charles and charles was already doing this when they met. he had no reason to think that it wasn't a normal thing. but crystal points it out and he notices, he listens and he learns.
ep4: this is another one i dont particularly remember much of these two from. the ep starts with edwin asking if charles wanted to talk about his father, something he never would have done without crystal's guidance. when edwin tells crystal and charles to go off together, she asks him if he's ok, which in the moment, is said in a somewhat joking tone. but once he's gone, she asks charles about it because she's concerned about him and she knows him well enough to know something's wrong. when she's angry that the washer woman didn't give her an answer, he apologizes genuinely because he does want the best for her.
ep5: this ep starts off with a lot of emotional maturity from crystal. she admits that she isn't in the right space to start a relationship and i'll be honest, i hadn't seen that from a show before. made me love her even more. one of my favorite moments of the show is them haunting twitchy ritchy. when he makes deprecating and homophobic 'jokes', crystal is quick to shut him down. and i would argue that she knew edwin was gay, i'd argue for hours. she notices his distress and immediately shuts the dude down, and hard. in return, when ritchy tries to be intimidating, edwin is the first to step in. he extinguishes the flame with a satisfied lil smirk and crystal didn't even have to look over to know that he would step in. and we don't really see it, but i'd bet watching edwin do childish little haunting things probably made her smile. it's a scene i think about all the time. when edwin shoos them away from the summoning and charles questions his choice, crystal sticks up for the decision. its small and unintentional, but there is an aspect where she admits that he's right. something she wouldn't do if she didn't like him and respect him. and when edwin realizes that marin killed the jocks, he's rushing out behind charles. hell it looks like he's pushing him forward to get them downstairs. crystal emphasizes at the end that she sympathizes with the boys, that it was a shitty thing to have in common that they were all victims. yet she offers her sympathy nonetheless. and when edwin says he's had enough emotion for the day, she isn't offended that he wasn't receptive or anything like that. she just smiles, knowing that he really can't handle a lot of emotions and she knows that he doesn't mean anything negative by it. she shows that she understands him and that she doesn't judge who he is.
ep6: when crystal loses her powers, she's scared to tell edwin. she says that she's afraid that he would consider her useless and toss her aside. but that stems from the fact that she really values him as a friend and is scared of being abandoned by the only people she has. and when edwin finds out, he is shocked sure but he's also concerned. he insists that he wouldn't have left her behind and she tells him that he would. its an emotional moment for her and i wouldn't write off that she's just really defensive in the moment. when she sees the boys in trouble, about to be dead-dead, that's when she regains her abilities because she cares about both of the boys and gods be damned if she's gonna let a witch tear them from her. and as the walk back, she leans into charles because she knows edwin doesn't like touch. but he's still right behind her, still nearby and offering silent support. and he goes the step of naming one of their plans after her, plain and simple. she shows her appreciation in the same slightly sarcastic tone they use with each other all the time.
ep7: so many thoughts. the second she finds out that edwin is in hell, she's already resolved to go get him. she has known the boy for a few weeks at most and she cares so much and is so selfless that she doesn't hesitate to volunteer to go to actual fucking hell. when she's told she can't? she tracks down her abusive demon ex who has literally tormented and plagued her mind nonstop. she walks right into his domain and demands he open her a door to hell. literally demands the person who has ruined her life to let her into hell to rescue her friend. when he refuses? she's ready to throw hands and doesn't hesitate to do so. and when the boys come back? yes, she does hug charles and not edwin, but she knows that isn't his thing. but when it cuts back to the teens after the night nurse speaks, you see her arm falling from edwin's. even though he hates hugs and she knows it, she still reached out and held his arm to show how happy she was that he was there, that he was safe. because even though he doesn't hug, she still needed to show him she was happy he was back. she talks about how she fought david and edwin expresses surprise and concern. her retort? 'it was the funniest thing. my friend got dragged to hell and i just had to try and help him.' she doesn't even think about hiding how much she cares and edwin's little smile just confirms how much it means to him.
ep8: when she's recovering her memories, edwin is there. he's watching over her with charles and that just hits something in me. he must have spent so long in the dollhouse exhausted, hoping someone would watch over him so he could be safe and rest. and when crystal is vulnerable, he's doing it. he watches over her as she calls her parents and the second she says that they didn't care, he is insisting that there must be some kind of explanation. every time she wakes up after eating the memory orbs, he rushing to her right beside charles. and i'd bet my bottom dollar he was stressed the whole time she was out. when crystal leaves, edwin does offer her a handshake. she jokes about how he's changed, how he's gotten friendlier, and he jokes back, even throwing in a reference to hell. it's a sweet little interaction and it shows their friendship and familiarity. esther takes the boys and she doesn't hesitate to work a way to get them back. she goes right to the cat king and argues that edwin is her friend and tck should help them because he has personal interest. she charges right into esther's house and already has a plan in place. she spends a minute on charles because she knows edwin's in danger and his screams are fucking unbearable. she offers herself as a distraction so niko can free edwin. when she's pinned against the wall, she scream-pleads for edwin to hold on and it is full of desperation, because she needs her friend to be okay. that scream haunts my mind because she is scared and she knows he is too, and she needs him to hold on and be okay. and when niko 'dies', they are huddled over her body and mourning together. in the end, edwin gives her a professional offer for her to have a permanent place with the agency. and this girl, so naturally full of love and affection, hugs him with a massive smile on her face. because she's been looking for people to belong with and she's found em and they want her around. and she's gonna do anything she can to hold onto them, come hell, demons or high water.
basically, crystal is beyond amazing and her sibling relationship with edwin is my favorite. if you don't like her, argue with the goddamn wall.
#dead boy detectives#crystal palace#edwin & crystal#i would kill for crystal#and i stand by that#there is not enough love for crystal so heres my essay#they could never make me hate you
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