#dont expect to hear a lot from me
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oh god how the fuck do you will yourself to do anything I've got 4 days then I'm fucked bad style
#and im ill#dont expect to hear a lot from me#stuff that isnt whining and moaning at least#bue waffling
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i genuinely dont get how so many people are uncritically excited for The Movie and have no issue with anything going on here i feel like im losing my mind a little bit . the trailers did not look good to me at all is everyone excited about it posting from an alternate dimension or something what are people seeing in this movie that im not .
#and i say this as someone whos standards are usually not that high and can have fun with most sonic media and liked the first 2 movies......#all i can feel is disappointment at how bad a job theyre doing at adapting sa2 and the disservice to certain characters/concepts#(obviously thats just based on the trailers i havent seen the movie and refuse to spend money on it so i cant give afull judgement#but the trailers certainly dont give a very good impression of the movie to me)#and before anyone says that its not an sa2 movie.theyre taking a lot of plot points and characters from sa2#and taking a lot of stuff from sa2 and using it in the marketing and such#they cant do all that and then go ''um actually its not an sa2 movie youre crazy for expecting an sa2 movie LOL''#i also wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 either i would have bene fine with changes#but stuff like having gerald be alive and take rouge's spot in the dark story trio and making him a more comedic character#is ridiculous and feels inherently disrespectful to the source material#and thats not even getting into how it feels like im always hearing about some new awful thing#that paramount or one of the actors did which just makes me not wanna give them my money or time even more#sighhh i honestly just want this all to be over alerady and for the hype to die down so ican stop hearing about the movie#but i know its going to make one billion dollars and theyre just going to make more movies after this. hell on earth .
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I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI.
#not dislike. its hate#it made me cry several times today#thinking of how my classmates manipulate our teachers#and chatgpt AIs can EVERYTHING#its so painful to think of it#today I broke down in the bus and cried#idc what people think. hiding my feelings any longer would destroy me from the inside#maybe youve also seen how people use freakin AIs in their exams#the thing is that:#we wrote an exam for which Ive studies for like 2 whole days#this week we finally got the exams back (w the grades ofc)#and ok Ive got a 3 (C in America syste#*m)#my friends who used chatgpt throughout the exam got way better grades (I didnt expect it otherwise)#PLUS#the most provocating messages from the teacher:#“10/10 POINTS :)” “YOURE ROCKING THIS” “YEAH”#💔#seriously#this breaks my heart#dont the teacher see something suspect in the exam?!#why cant they open their eyes and get modernized to reality.#& they KNOW- the students Im talking of. they usally have bad results.#once our teacher came to a chatgpt student and said the most miserable thing:#“youve been using duolingo a lot lately hm? thats where your nice grades come from 😉🥰”#you get it?#no- this peoson didnt learn.#no- this person isnt even interested in the stuff we learn in lessons#AWFUL feeling to hear the praisings of da teachers when *I* gotta sit among the gpt-students and look like Im a worse student than *them*#[writing this at almost 1 at night] still have some tears. this topic really has the power to destroy someones day. 💔💔
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what yall talking about? Kaveh doesn't have a 'sad' backstory he just got some struggles, like that what the average human being go through
#which is like not bad#i was underwhelmed at first but it was still in the realm of what i expected for his character#maybe spoilers from here in the tags:#honestly it mad me appreciate his friendship with Ahatham more lol#he needs someone who is so crude to just throw reality at his face once in a while because he cant#like you are just nice because you feel a lot of guilt not because you are just nice dude#and that shock him to the core??#yeah he needed to hear it#its ok Kaveh you should go to therapy and work that guilt out AND you can still wake up everyday to 'choose' to be a nicer person#its just there is no therapy in tyvat that's all#i still dont get why i see you all type 'i cried'#also know i have the hc that he is highly ticklish because of the wording in his character story#'if you tapped in weak points he will collapse'#kaveh#genshin impact
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Alright gamers!!!! New dupe icons have been obtained, so now I shall!!! Share them!!!!
Very important note! These guys seem to be part of the next dlc, and as such they are likely incredibly prone to change or even to being scrapped entirely. This is just a showcase of some of the stuff I was able to find while datamining, and it should not be taken as stuff that will guaranteed be in game in the future.
Anyways! Enjoy your datamined dupes under the cut >:3
Starting with this fella, Chip!
Description: This Chip is extremely good at guessing their friends' passwords.
This one is Edwiredo
Description: This Edwiredo once rolled his eye so hard he powered himself off and on again.
This is Gizmo
Description: Gizmos love nothing more than a big juicy info dump.
This one is Steela! They're my personal favorite
Description: Steelas aren't programmed to put up with nonsense, but they do enjoy the occasional shenanigan.
I got these from the sprite sheets, so forgive the other sprite intruding on lovely Sonyar's icon
Description: Sonyars would sooner burn down the colony than read an instruction manual.
And lastly, Ulti!
Description: The only dance move this Ulti knows is The Robot.
Here's some bonus stuff I found in the files! Just got you! (Again note that this stuff is very prone to being changed or scrapped)
The new duplicants seem to be a new type of duplicant called bionic duplicants. They are a mix of organic and inorganic components, so my cyborg dupe theory does indeed seem to be correct! It seems like they have power banks and oxygen tanks that will need managed, and they seem to require oil to operate as well. As time goes on, a new material called gunk will build up in their systems, and they will need to visit something called the gunk extractor to be cleaned up. Their oxygen tanks also allow them to work in low oxygen environments, and it can be assumed that they won't need sleep, and potentially not even need food. They also seem to be able to install booster packs that increase their skills, and can come with preinstalled booster packs with some on print traits, including one that allows them to locate undiscovered geysers (which doesn't sound super useful tbh but it's still neat)
#rat rambles#oxygen not included#again I shall reiterate that this is unreleased stuff! prone to change! prone to being scrapped! dont forget that!#but! I am more interested in these guys than I thought Id be due to some of the lore that seems to be going on with them that I shall not#share yet since again its super duper prone to change and I don't want to accidentally spread misinformation by doing so#oh also there appears to be a new type of oil called phyto oil which is extracted from slime#this can also be used to oil up a bionic dupe and prrsumably for other stuff as well but I havent dug into the new buildings yet#so yeah all in all I found WAY more shit than I was expecting to find in the qol beta lol#if I were a more skilled dataminer Id see if I could piece together the actual fullbody sprites for the new dupes but Im not so I wont#Im not even sure if those components are there tbh? I didn't check woops#Ill check later it doesnt rly matter to me much rn#but yeah I assume there'll probably be lots of additional stuff in the full dlc this is just the stuff I stumbled across#Im not very good at the whole datamining thing too so Im sure I missed a Lot of new shit#but with all this stuff sitting in the files I assume we're probably going to hear some word abt the new dlc within the next few months#so look forward to that ig#excited to see what this dlc entails and I hope we get more of the jackie family drama I am digging it so hard#also calvin. calvin my boy please come home
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#not feeling so great as of lately#i thought it was just that i was thinking about stuff at a too late of a time yesterday but now its morning and i still feel bad#sure i slept very badly so maybe its still that but idk it still doesnt feel great no matter what the reason is#i feel like. so annoying lately#and like yea maybe i am and it shouldnt matter yk like all that ur allowed to be annoying and just be urself and whatever#but it just of takes a lot out of u when u t talk about ur interests or ur day or smth ands like everyone just brushes it off or ignores u#and obviously im probably being dramatic like this is a busy time of the year!#and its not always about me and like other ppl have their reasons to do what they do u know#but it still feels bad :'))#also this isnt about like anyone specific its like a combination of little things that FEELS bad to ME not a thing someone else does#like i know ppl dont have to care about stuff yk i like that i KNOW they dont care about so like what do i expect#and i dont ever know what to say to stuff idk anything about either so its very understandable#but its took me years to like. talk about things i like without prompting so it feels like a big hit when i dont get any reaction back fsgsh#and thats not trying to blame anyone else either its not anybody elses fault im not good at something#i think my kind of insecurity is showing one of my friends had to reassure me that yes they do want to hear how im doing fsgsh#but im thankful for that it feels good to hear when ur feeling kind of unstable with ur relationships fshsh#also since i am feeling like. unstable on EVERY relationship i suspect its just seasonal depression or stress or something#still wont stop the brain from like trying to blame itself lmao#this is kind of stupid idk what im trying to even say here#my post#vent#maybe ill delete it later?? this feels stupid
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Would prussia and romania's ship name be something like prurom? Rompru? Something else I didn't think of? Hmm.
(Cue me rambling in the tags about them)
#Just talking recreationally#Hetalia#Prussia#Romania#Aph#Hws#Ive just finished with school and shit. Expect me to post a lot more(or a lot less idk)#(Well tehnically i finish tomorow but ehh)#Anyway to write something in the tags that's actually relevant to the post:#Hear me out! They have some history!#Im exhausted so I may not be able to explain it very well but basically a branch of the Hohenzollerns ruled over Romania for a time#(From 1866 to 1947)#Basically Carol I was invited to like. Become the leader of romania and he accepted#I think i saw someone write prussia and romania as like. Married. Which is certainly a way to view the relations between them in that perio#Anyway I dont believe they interacted in canon but they should.#Theyre so similar yet so different.#They both have a younger brother whom they love.#Theyre both pretty chaotic tbh#But I feel like they are pretty different too.#Rambling over Im tired.#Actually no.#Btw when romania joined WWI fighting against the central powers#The german emperor Wilhelm II had Ferdinand's name erased from the house of Hohenzollern so they probably werent cordial with eachoter#During that period#Also like Germany stopped being an empire nad became a republic after WWI
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status scared for the update
#no more sad over possibly romantic childhood friendship to revenge pipeline#no more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#posting this so i can forget abt it and then see if it ages well. if not you Will be hearing from me#also other ppl already said this but what the fuck is wrong with the timeline. it makes arle (a lot) younger than (i) expected#which.... i dont like. make her 30 something and an actual father bruh#liveblog insanity#that kid in the end wasnt frem (was already at the house when arle became father) either so idk why they'd be showing him#wasn't ly.ney either. if this is an npc they're shoving the backstory into—well. im sorry but ive also had enough of npcs#w detailed backstories (eg xian.yun's sq)#or more specifically the story revolving around the aforementioned npc#ok. summon circle for a good sq please please
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im in love w him not only bc of who he is as a person nd how drawn i am to his personality, but also bc i feel like he's the only one who has ever wanted to see me. who i am, like deep down. he's the only one who i feel like i've ever connected with, in an easy nd genuine way. the only one who i feel has ever gotten me. he's the only one who's ever made me feel like we actually have a connection we're both in on, bc i havent had to pretend or put up a fake front for him bc he wanted the real image of me.
#unfortunately he has his own shit to deal w#so bc of one thing that was actually a mistake from me#he misjudged it nd saw it from his own perspective nd didnt understand mine#nd thus concluded that he saw me wrong nd didnt actually know who i am#nd then he had decided that so strongly he wasnt wven open to hear me out or try to understand what that situation was for me#that made me very sad nd hurt nd like#he doesnt actually like me as much as i like him#bc i would always always ask him nd hear him out before jumping to conclusions#i have asked him abt this but he is a wall nd doesnt wnna talk abt it#nd i cant force anyone so... yeh. it is what it is#i wish that we had the connection where he wanted to understandwhere i was coming from#instead of being like ughshe isnt the perfect image that i had constructed#so now im writing her off completely bc she doesntlive up to my expectations#but... my heart just loves him sm i can look past that#however... that is meaningless when i dont even know what he feels for me nd i cant get an answer out of him#maybe he doesnt wanna tell me bc he doesnt return my love nd he knows i'llbe hurt nd he'll risk losing me as a friend#i'd never stop talking to him tho.. that is the worst part#if imginna get over these feelings#i need to hear it straight from him. i need him to tell me thatno i am not in love with you#then i need to never talk to him again nd never lookat his social media#then it will hurt a lot but after a year or so i will only feel empty nd not hurt when i think of him#but i am tooweak to be the one to stop talking to him now#my entire day revolves around him nd i know its unhealthy but idk how to stop#since this obsession is unrequited i dont actually wanna feel it#but i have no idea how to stop#god this is driving me insane wtf is wrong w me??
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my uncle died. hm
this is the first time i've ever reached the tag limit. the last word is meant to be funeral.
#text#interesting experience#i mean it was expected he's been suffering for a couple of months now. he got a lot better at one point and everyone was like woo you're-#-gonna survive! you're not gonna be like before but you're not gonna die but eh voila he died#like a week ago he was sent to the hospital because his kidneys just failed and the doctors said nah dude he's on his deathbed. better#just die at home rather than dying in the hospital alone so they took him home and they've been waiting ever since and here we are#personally i barely know shit about the guy. he used to deliver us bread and he shook my hand once and smiled at me. radiated a good aura#but i dont know anything. dad says he really respected and loved my brother and i so ill take his word for it#but man for the past like month its all you hear about. like i dont mean this in a derogatory way i completely understand dont get me wrng#but its just death death death all around#an hour or so ago i was walking my dog with my mom and brother and i just said i wonder if uncle's died yet#20 minutes afterwards my mom gets a call that he's died. uncle was in a different room from the rest of the family so they couldnt know#exactly when he died (we went to visit at about 5 pm today and he was alive but asleep) but my parents think it must have been around when#i said that. dad's superstitious and all and says that uncle sent me a sign. like i said apparently uncle loved me a lot. im not#superstitious but i'll take his word for it - uncle sent me a sign before he died.#i feel a little bad now. he seemed like a good man. im just replaying my only memory of him - that time when he shook my hand and smiled#like smiled very brightly. he and grandma look so alike. like ofc they do they're siblings but they look so alike#im very worried for my parents and grandma though.#espechially grandma. she's been at his house almost all week becuase she knew his time was soon#when we visited today we were supposed to pick her up and bring her home and then return her tomorrow but once we arrived she apparently#said (idk i didnt go inside i just wandered outside and pspsed at cats#that she didnt want to come home becuase he was very ill. she knew man she knew.#i dont know how she's going to handle this i just hope she'll be okay we'll do what we can to help her#i hope my parents are going to be okay too. me and my mom's relationship is rocky and i dont like my dad much#my dad returned from europe yesterday to stay with us for a month and i was really not looking forward to it. i always dread his visits#like dont get me wrong i love him just like im supposed to i just dont like him very much#but nonetheless i hope they'll be okay#as far as i know my brother also didnt know my uncle very well so i dont think i have to worry about him#he and i will just have to do our best to support our family i guess#about like 30 minutes ago my parents left for uncle's house and they'll return early morning tomorrow and then go back immidietaly for the
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#considering deleting my entire online presence and quiting everything. would do everyone good#i just wrote a vent post that broke me so badly i cant even post it honestly it. it just hurts#im thinking about a lot of stuff rn and i know its cause im under a lot of stress and expectations and im just#im not okay. im just not. for so so many reasons#i dont. i dont wanna hear how im wrong in saying that. i dont want anyone to lie to me#i just want someone to understand. i want to know everything will be okay no matter what#im just so tired of this. of feeling anything. its just the same fucking circle over and over again. i just want to be able to escape it#there are better days sure. but it always comes back down to this. and i cant escape it. and i dont know what to do#i dont know what i can do. what i should do apart from trying which ive been doing for so long it makes no difference#nothings fine. everythings fucked. me most of all and im just#im so tired of it. im so sorry#night is an absolute mess on main
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Decided to do with my anxiety what I did with my body dysmorphia ages ago which is to beat it with the affirmation stick until it eventually becomes a central part of my belief system. This round is "I am strange and I am loved. I may be misunderstood and that does not make me alone. I am surrounded by people who accept me"
#theres reasoning for this#like 'i am cringe but i am free' despite being incredibly memeable doesnt work for me#first of all saying it outloud can sound self depricating. and accidentally sounding self depricating#(something i rarely actually do)#makes me want to shrivel up into freeze fried weasel and hibernate for seveal hears#also the presence of the word 'but' presents these things as contradicory ideas. and i need them to go hand in hand#hense this sey of affirmations#the rule of three is good and memorable#the first statement says something about myself. something it is good and realistic for me to believe is inherent about myself#the second accounts for situations when that first one may feel threatened such as when i am misunderstood#using an AND here for those ideas that are NOT conteadictory is reslly important cor the syntax of my brain#being misunderstood does not say anything about me. it is a nuetral statement and i reminder of important truths#and these truths are easy to affirm if i get REAL spooked by touching base with a friend!#and lastly is something i want to believe about the world#.....i am a strange sort of person. i exist outside of a lot of cultural norms in a way i cant change if i wanted to. i dont want to#but having a hard heart or expecting harm and judgement from other people isnt good for me#and doesnt lend to good conversation#i want to enter spaces with the expectation that i will be accepted because i deserve to be accepted. that is the norm.#i want to believe that is normal. therefore i am making a statement about other people#both friends and strangers#they WILL accept me. and it will be easier for them to do so if i dont come in afraid of harm and instead open to conversation#anyways thats my logic! i wanted to externalize it and dont mind doing so publicly#i hope this may have helped someone <3#lush chats#anyways memorize and repeat these all the damn time. thats what i do. good mantras for grounding yourself.#i especially like to do affirmations when i look in the mirror. Spell of anti dissociation
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was anyone gonna tell me brad taste in music reviewed hesitant alien and gave it the most absolute dogshit rating like. living up to the name i see like jesus christ, man......
#i didnt even watch the video i just skipped to the rating bc ik it would make me blind with rage if i did#bro doesnt get it but like. jesus man that could have stayed in the drafts#i literally dont trust any of these reviewer dudes bc they always have the most dogshit opinions and a lot of shit completely goes over#their heads like. sometimes they have based takes but uhhhhh it's rare#also he liked foundations which is funny bc he absolutely hated bullets bc it was 'too noisy" but literally every dude#who listens to foundations hears the production and isnt able to get over it and actually review the song (cough) bald man#this guy has been showing up on my recommended and i was like huh. whats he up to#still popping out (very) questionable music takes i see. u can just tell ratings are so personal these dudes arent objective at all.#its ok to say you like things something objectively perfect just doesnt exist dude accept ur not the audience for smth and move on#wow anna said something#anna's shitposts#welcome to the circus#ayo rant in the tags check !!!!#hesitant alien is one of my faves ever it's SO GOOD....#txt#bro and the comments....*skull emoji* i respect none of these bitches fr#what would you expect from a guy named bradley really....#Sidenote: i fw him in general he's just not immune to bad takes lol
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played a bit more psychonauts (i just wanted to finish the level i was on bit like. its fun so i ended up walking around on the campgrounds some more) and. i now have been witness to the kind of jokes that make me go “ahhh a game of the 2000s”
#it was a fat joke and the. main characters name is raz. theres a word that rhymes with that huh. it sucks a bit#just back to back...#theres been some other stuff thats made me 🤨design wise and another character i just dont think is that funny#but its been fine mostly. i expected this after all#its something i knew going in obv & that i think the sequel improves on (what with being from 2022 and not 2006)#on a lighter note. the kids are all fun so far (exception mentioned above aside) and i really like the band kids.#theres a lot of dialogue you can hear by just standing nearby... theyre good friends and make music together : )#one of them mentioned a nightmare which makes me curious raz mentioned reading about going into those earlier#so i assume its a thing you can do. ok......#im sleeping now#rosa talk
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just wrote a journal entry for the first time in like ages. yay
#not rly much of a journal entry and more of a like. trying to figure out something of a moral quandary in having#i didnt rly make much orogress but i guess it was good to get it down on paper and not feel like i had to overclarify on every single point#so as to not be misinterpreted (though i still clarified like a lot) ive just kind of hit a wall bc i havent rly figured out how i feel abt#it. but also i made the journal entry specifically bc i didnt rly think it was something to be talking abt on tumblr bc it could be#misinterpreted . but i think its something i would like to see outside opinions on but idk if anybody else has been struggling with it so#aughh. and i dont rly have anybody im close with to like... discuss. aside from lamp but im not sure lamp is super like. IDK its just not#rly fully the kind of thjng id go to lamp to talk abt i guess but maybe i should... bc theyre like. aware of the things the quandary is abt#IDK . if anybody would be open to discussing it with me in private itd be appreciated i guess ik ive been very vague i just think itd be#good to hear other ppls thoughts on it bc im having trouble reconciling it ... i dont expect anybody to take me up on this LOL i also might#get skittish and not go through with it just bc its like. a morality thing and im always skittish abt that#its not like. idt its anything bad im not like. IDK. its judt like. to be vague. my feelings abt recent events arent rly fully aligning with#something else i deeply believe in and regard as one of my like. deepest held beliefs. and i can think of a few reasons i feel differently#abt either topic but im just having trouble reconciling it i guess... and im not sure why i feel different abt it basically. to be vague
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⛈️ ❌ ❌ ❌ // 2:09 am, tbd ;
#this is a fucking vent so just gnore the venty ass tags but i have nowhere else to place this that feels safe other than just.#shouting into a void where no one hears. aka here ig.#bc its better i shout into a void alone than drag others down with me somehow—i dont. know#regardless… i’m just… i dont know what to think.#things are really bad lately & i’m struggling again to stop myself from sh utting down every time i try being vulnerable & opening up.#i keep clamming up & letting my mind take the reins when it tells me to just erase anything i say. to not open up.#to swallow every single emotion & experience that’s hurting me & let that poison kill me slowly instead. deal with it alone#because it feels like its wrong to open up. like its wrong to say anything. like me being open is just.#me being a fucking burden or something. i don’t know. i shouldn’t be like this. i’m supposed to be fucking better than t his.#what the fuck happened to the version of myself that could just keep suppressing & suppressing & not being a goddamn thorn in ppl’s sides.#esp bc all the things i’m having a difficult / painful time with is all fucking trigger heavy shit or things that i just don’t.#fucking know what to do with anymore because its not shit within my control.#a lot of it’s shit im still just processing that has hurt a lot & havingg to cope w that grief alone.#but then there’s also other circumtances too that are hard to navigate & my BPD having a field day w me in recent history too#i don’t know what the fuck is wrong w me at this point. & im scared & i can’t stand being fucking alone in this shit yet.#i feel like i have to. i have to. i have to. beccause this is my own issue & to dare express anything is me just. using ppl isn’t it.#that’s all it is right. & besides how many times has it been proven that ppl get sick of me for not being okay.#how many times have ppl walked away because they realize im just some fucking deadweight emotionally or something. id on’t fucking know.#am i spiraling? who fucking knows! maybe! because im fucking tired of what my life has been in general & im. overwhelmed.#overwhelmed by existence itself i fucking guess & what its meant for me overwhelmed by expectations overwhelmed by vulnerability thats just.#bleeding out through the fucking cracks of this fucking mess of a person i am.#& constantly fucking afraid that im just. too much. too much. too much for anyone.#too emotional in fucking general too intense too overwhelming for others regardless if its overwhelming them via pos or neg emotions.#afraid im going to get discarded afraid of what’s to come afraid in fucking general. fear & grief & pain & rage & hatred &.#desperation to feel anything other than this & desperation to feel loved thats got me having rly foul compulsions too#all my emotions feel like some kind of fuckihng hairtrigger & its hard to stop it in fucking general. i dont fucking know. & like i said it.#feels like shit to deal with completely alone. not bc i wanna deal with alone but bc i /have/ to bc if i dont then im just. a problem. or.#i dont know. im tired of everything tired of my emotions tired of this life tired of all that ive had to face up til this point & tired of.#fear & idk how to handle things alone anymore. my friends deserve better than this emotional burden i am to be around ig.#it feels so much like i have to apologize to those i befriend for being. well. this. for all of me & for being ‘too much’ in general.
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