#posting this so i can forget abt it and then see if it ages well. if not you Will be hearing from me

[welcometoteyvat]

status scared for the update

[dead-star]

I think it’s interesting how they’re both Y7 but have completely diff views

Nobody asked but my thoughts about these are below + a clip from a wk episode about it

Octonauts’ setting is a double edged sword- because they give every organism a voice, they can make people empathize with bacteria, coral, and other things people forget to see as living beings. However, that also means they portray consumers/predators as the bad guys, even when they try not to have a bias. Which means for when the urchins had to be eaten, they couldn’t be portrayed as alive (or at least at the same level of consciousness as other animals).

For the record, I do think their setting of making every animal talk is good for helping others understand issues a species might face, especially for man-made causes like pollution and climate change which the show covers. it’s definitely something I think should be taught bc I still know a lot of people my age or older who end up mistreating animals simply because they don’t communicate in the same way we do.

On the flip side, Wk uses predator/prey relationships to show off the different abilities an animal has. I was honestly very surprised with how they handled the topic of death? For a couple animals, their life cycle is taught by following a particular individual of the species, from the start of their journey to the day they die. And even though they passed on, their offspring can continue the journey their parents started. I think that’s a good way to look at it imo. Every animal has a role, and even in death their life is not wasted. They even bring up the fact it can be dangerous to be a predator, since prey animals have developed a bunch of defense mechanisms, and losing to those could mean dying. I’m glad they cover death along with life, and they handle it well considering it’s a tricky subject esp for a younger audience. I think it can be summarized well in this clip from the king cobra episode

They also touch on it in the episode where kid musky is introduced (forgot the name but Chris basically goes on a monologue abt the human perspective on prey/predator relationships and how hard it can be to watch. I thought that was neat)

That being said: I do think sometimes the deaths are a little mean, and the fact they’re so comfortable with it after s1 sort of gives you a shock when you remember the rating. Like we JUST met and named the snake in the clip and then bro dies🫡 not to mention the life cycle episodes getting us attached to an animal for 22 minutes and then they die at the end. Juice’s death was even played for comedic effect (at least I think it was. It made me laugh. Maybe that’s just me LMAO)

TLDR: both methods are good for diff aspects of wildlife education but I think wk handles it in a better way esp when they consider the fact that humans are outsiders to it. Send post

[millionmaggots]

did/osdd/posdd/etc havers, can i mayhaps get ur opinion on something please?

i havent rlly been posting abt it bc the plural/system space online is HELLA SCARY with all the fakeclaiming n discourse n shit, but im realizing i proooobably have some kind of dissociative shit going on 😭

- can't remember the first 10 years of my life with any detail, then it gets a little clearer until age 15 or so when i can remember pretty well / maybe normally (idk what normal really is tho)

- i lose hours at a time

- i don't have distinct people in my head except for this one lady who's basically the ceo of violent / upsetting intrusive thoughts (i don't think i experience switching)

- but i do have a very disorganized train of thought, with a lot of different things going on at once / overlapping (i also have adhd tho)

- ive heard voices (that don't sound like me) on and off since i was like 8 or 9

- ^ i got tested for schizophrenia and i do not have it

- my parents get annoyed with me bc apparently i take / move their stuff, but i often have no memory of doing it, and little/no reason to have done it, despite evidence that i did. i usually just say that although i have no memory of doing it, i guess i did and im sorry. this one happens probably at least weekly and causes me a lot of distress bc it's scary being told that i did something i don't remember / wouldn't do

- people (esp my parents) sometimes tell me im acting off / different, and it's really confusing, bc as i see it, im always acting like myself

- i have a history of acute dissociation / depersonalization, especially when i was working a rlly stressful job

- i have an absolute dogshit short term / working memory

- i space out and fail to process things ALL THE TIME, especially auditory information. i need about 20% of everything said to me repeated.

- i get inexplicable feelings of dread from things i have no (conscious) emotional connection to

- i have cptsd symptoms and at least 2 distinct triggers associated with bad experiences ive had

- accidentally called myself a 'we' when talking to my psych? i remember everything about the appointment except the context around why i would've made that mistake

- like i said, i have adhd, and my adderall helps me focus, but doesn't do anything for my general inattentiveness / spacing out / forgetfulness

- my childhood was like. fine? in terms of like parents/housing/money/friends/etc, but i grew up not knowing my gender identity or that im disabled, and i had a severe undiagnosed anxiety disorder dismissed by adults as me being "shy" and "sensitive" so there was a constant ever present feeling that i was just inherently a bit off / wrong / broken

- nothing bad was directly done to me when i was little (as far as i know?) but i was, in hindsight, emotionally abused by my principal and homeroom teacher all throughout middle school (severe depression and anxiety, i was told to "stop being so negative" or i would be put in a different classroom without any of my friends <- the people who helped me and made me feel at least a little bit safe)

tl;dr: if anybody w osdd/did, etc, took the time to read all this, i would REEEEALLY appreciate u guys giving all this a sniff test 😭 not asking 4 a diagnosis obvs just kinda a peer review

i have a psych appointment abt this in about a month but in the meantime i would love to hear from systems who know abt this kind of thing. what do u guys think is up?

(PLEASE don't drag syscourse over here bc i know it'll just make everything im dealing with worse and more confusing /gen /srs)

[sunsetsover]

I was reading your tags on the akkayan post talking about rejection and how ayan was so mature and understanding despite the fact that he was hurt and it got me thinking about the our skyy episodes that I was rewatching yesterday. I don't think Ayan would really pretend to not remember akk's birthday and make him spend the whole day feeling bad about it just to surprise him later. what are your opinions about the special?

i get where you're coming from! honestly my thoughts were similar the first time i watched the our skyy eps, like it felt a lil ooc to me. but then i sat on it for a little while and after a rewatch of the whole show i felt differently about it.

i think ayan loves to tease akk. he LOVES to see him get all huffy and frustrated and annoyed. i didn't realise just how much he loves it until i went back and rewatched the eclipse again and i was like 'oh, this is literally a Thing for ayan', so i get why he might think it's a good idea to tease/surprise akk in that way, even if from the outside looking in you're kinda like hm maybe lets not do that!

on top of that he's in a much different headspace to what he was during the eclipse - both of them are. they're no longer in survival mode. ayan is a little more removed from the grief he felt for his uncle. so the version we see of both of their characters in the our skyy eps is likely closer to their baselines than the version we see in series. ayan in the show is kinda mentally fucked up, really. but then think abt who he became when he was around his mum, when he probably felt safest and most relaxed - goofy, full of jokes, teasing. and it's easily lost in everything that goes on in that show, but i think that's who he is at his core, yknow? a little bit cocky. very boyish. he LOWKEY does have 'pulling on your pigtails bc i like you' energy. and you do see moments of it in the main show!! but everything else that's going on is so big and he's going through so much that side of him just gets drowned out. (and the same goes for akk! he was soooo babyboy in the our skyy eps, and i think that's who he always was deep down, he just didn't feet safe enough to express until ayan! like! my boys grew so much in just a few months!)

and like... i know what i said in my tags (and still stand by it obv) but also... ayan is still a teenage boy, no matter how mature. he can obviously hold space for really, really big things and big emotions and can deal with them with the maturity of someone twice his age, but that doesn't mean he's not still immature. tbh in my experience usually the ppl that can deal w the biggest most fucked up things with the most grace are usually the ones who are the most immature/struggle the most in mundane situations. does that make sense? like trauma can make you weird. but not even that, i just think ayan thought it was a fun lil goofy idea, not thinking it all the way through, not thinking abt how it might hurt or upset akk. it happens! it happens in adult relationships, even. even ppl who have been together for years get things wrong sometimes! but ayan meant well. he never would've set out to intentionally hurt akk and akk knows that, nor do i think he realised just HOW upset akk was, and that's what counts imo.

i do ultimately think the our skyy eps were a little heavy handed, but i would no longer go so far to say that they were out of character. i think ayan's just a kid who thought 'i'll pretend to forget his bday so i get to see him all pouty and sulky for a few weeks, then he'll be sooo surprised when i play our song for him!' (which was acc so thoughtful and romantic even if i did nearly die of cringe) and misjudged it bc he's a kid and their relationship is still relatively new and they're still figuring themselves and each other out, yknow? at least that's my take on it! but i do completely get why people might disagree. you do kinda wanna grab ayan by the shoulders and go 'stop it! you're upsetting the baby!' while you're watching it lmao 💕

[hyunin]

hiiii everyone, this blog hit 1k followers the other day 🥹 tysm to anyone that has followed me here over the years! i'm sure at least a third of my followers are dead blogs from my suju (🤮) era in 2013 before i returned to gifmaking tumblr in 2020, but so many of you joined me once i returned and i'm so thankful for everyone that has reblogged my content and chatted with me and followed me up until this point! 🫶 i wanted to write some fun lil messages for my mutuals and pals below the cut, as well as shout out some people i don't necessarily speak to but like having on my dash also 💗 if u aren't mentioned on here and we're mutuals that doesn't mean i dislike u it just means i'm stupid and missed you 😭 before i get into the messages i also want to ask anyone who can to consider commissioning me for a gifset or writing by donating at least €10 to this fundraiser and sending me a screenshot of your donation! more info on that via this post. thank u so much again everyone!!! 🥳 (edit: i don't think half the mentions in this post are working so please check to see if you were mentioned even if you weren't notified!)

@redvelvetcult hi ele 🫶 i know we don't speak as often anymore but i'm always so happy to see u around and i love you <3 thank u for running yangjeongin with me even if it has been in spirit for 99% of its run LKJSDLFKJSJLKFD still wouldn't be the same without u @bataranqs hi kid! this is going to sound so lame but it's been rly fun watching u grow up over the years through awoo9, every time u use our weird ass humor it's so much funnier coming from u. thank u for hyping up everything we all do, especially my writing!! i really appreciate it and u @anyujins iwin...whew....LLKSJDKLFJLSKF i'm rly happy that we're a lot closer now than when we were last time i made one of these posts. i think we are anyway?? i forgor...but either way ilysm, thank u for your support when i've been going insane over the years and it would appear both of the stories of our love lives that we've been following for so long will have a tragic ending. LJKSDFJLKSLK but i hope we can be friends for many more moments of insanity to come and that we have more good news than bad news to share w each other soon. in the meantime it's always rly fun to talk to u and i am glad i have u in my life @miyawaki ver. i appreciate u v much if only bc u are a major provider of quality shitposts on my dash, u also being into kpop and giffing is a bonus. u are also so funny even if u are also MEAN!!!! it's funny most of the time. and u have also supported me a lot in ur own ver way over the years, and i can always count on u to give me feedback on giffing and such. i'm so happy for u that u are going to uni again and i hope u have so much fun but also don't forget about us 🔫 🫶 @seulggi gfx queen minya! u deserve a shoutout if ONLY bc u are carrying the gfx side of kpop tumblr on ur back fr. and i love seeing what u make on my dash. but u are also an awoo9er so i will give u a long AWOOOOOOOOO of appreciation ❣️ @meongppangz RI omg idk what account is best to tag u on so i tag u here. i rmr the last one of these i made i was like 'hope to talk more under better circumstances' and now we talk nearly every day LJSDFLKSDF i love that for us. thank u crazy person gc for bringing us together fr....love that we can bond over loving ggs and also hating collecting pcs and any other random shit of the day skz is doing. and giffing ofc. talking to u always makes me happy so i hope we continue talking and being friends for a long time to come 🫶 ily. also i'm going through my follow list for this in order of oldest blogs first and i just discovered y'all were one of the first skz blogs i followed. how cute @curiosityjams hi drea, we haven't spoken ages but i wanted to shout u out individually as well because i still enjoy seeing u on my dash and i still consider us friends 🫶 fellow eunbi stan...i will never forget waiting for the 2020 election results w you LMAO abt to do it all again soon...but i hope you're well and hope good things continue coming to u 🙇‍♀️ @hyunjinz agnes, backbone of stayblr that u are, i love u!! i know we don't Personally speak much at all i still feel like u are a dear friend of mine. you were one of the first ppl to support my skz content and i think you're that for a lot of people on stayblr and i think that is so sweet of u and also important for the community. u are so brave for going through the tags all the time and reblogging everything i do not have that kind of energy but i'm so glad u do!! i miss ur gifs but i'm happy that you're still around even when you don't gif. we're some of the last remaining pre-kingdom era skz ccs left 😱 so i will always appreciate ur company here <3 @innielove hi vi, i just want to say i love that u are giffing skz again. i've probably missed a lot of ur sets bc i'm bad at checking tags and dash but when i DO see them i'm like omg vi's gifs r really looking better than ever. thank u for returning to us 🫶 u have also actually been on stayblr for a long time so i'm always happy to see some of the oldies (can u believe we are oldies now...) back on the dash 😌

@kazuhas MS KALE it always makes me happy to see u on my dash here. ur gifs are so lovely and so are u!! i know we mainly know each other from off cc tumblr 🫣 but i wanted to give u a shoutout among all of my other tumblr beloveds bc ily. it's what u deserve @seo-changbinnies marie...another fellow stayblr hag at this point...u are still one of the funniest people on this site i swear. and i'm so glad u are still here and making gifs and blessing us w your funny tags. i hope u always stay just as insane, i love u for that <3 @seungs HI MIAAA we don't talk that much anymore but i wanted u to know that i still always love seeing u and your gifs on my dash 🫶 @felixies luna, legend of stayblr that u are 🙇‍♀️ i think ur work largely goes unappreciated by the fandom but u are an icon for keeping createskz running for all these years despite everything going on in ur life. tysm for your service 🫡 @huiracha marie huiracha...this is how i refer to u in my head btw. like 'huiracha' is ur last name. LKJSDFKLSKLD we have barely spoken but i want to give u your own shoutout just for surviving and continuing to gif on stayblr as long as u have. veterans' discount fr @hyunsung hi mona 🫶 we haven't spoken in a while either omg but i am still always excited to see u on my dash when u gif something or reblog something from me i'm like omg that's my friend mona :D SDKJFSJKLDF so thank u and i hope you're doing well 🙏 @hyunpic VILMA HYUNPIC...u know i am so glad we are better pals now. u are so funny and fun to talk to but also the sweetest ever!! thank u for always listening to me and being kind to me and also making me laugh. every time i feel like an rper named their hyunjin character something dumb i am glad i get to report it to u. some things only u will understand and appreciate. LKJSDKLJFSKLJFKLFD @sungtaro eri <3 we don't talk much anymore and maybe we NEVER HAVE??? but i have always felt like u are a dear friend and beloved mutual. i love seeing u on dash even if we don't have too many groups in common anymore. ur content is always lovely and so are u so we will always be pals as far as i am concerned 🫶 @exocean hi mo!! i must admit i don't have much to say but i wanted to mention you individually because you are so sweet and i love seeing u around and u deserve to know it <3 @hyumjim i don't even know what to say (positive) u know i am so glad ur squirmy wormy tag on one of my hyunjin sets brought us together. idr if we have ever properly spoken like via dm but bc u follow me on all my accounts i feel Seen by u....nd u haven't unfollowed me yet so god bless u. i always enjoy seeing ur thoughts and the posts u put on my dash whether they be a funny text post or someone's hot take getting dismantled or something Thought Provoking. my dash is definitely a better place because of u so thank uu 🫶

@wolfchans lau the Actual backbone of stayblr tysm for ur service fr. without u providing files for us i genuinely believe most of stayblr would be lost. not only do u do that but u are also genuinely very kind and make great content so i appreciate u so much!! thank u for making stayblr (and my dash) a better place @hyunebear hi adri i gotta admit i didn't even realize u were back on tumblr until i was going through my following and saw that u posted recently akljsdflkjdsf goes to show how much i'm on my dash...but i wanted to mention you individually even though it's been so long because you have genuinely touched my heart a lot and i will never forget ur compliments 🙏 ok maybe i did forget some of them word for word. but i will never forget how sweet u were to me. how about that. so thank you and i hope to see u around more!! i probably have to be on my dash more for that tho huh... @romanceuntold hi jen 🫶 i miss u on stayblr i'm ngl but i'm also still glad to see u on my dash through all your phases. you are such a warm and kind person and another person who i will never forget being so sweet to me. thank you and i hope you're doing well ❣️ @wearehappiness sidrah <3 the fact that we were both on stayblr but met properly on pc ig first is still so silly to me. me intending to wait on ur mail to get to me then being like 'stayblr perk i'll send ur mail rn' after i found out u were here LKJSDLKFLJKSF but you are suuuuch a sweet person who makes lovely gifs too. i miss ur gifs also!! and just you in general. wishing u the best in life always 💗 @mybodyfails hi oli 🫶 another person who has been soooo sweet to me, i'm so glad i got to help w leeknoween and i still have all the freebies u sent me from it preserved safely in my freebie photocard binder 😌 you are always lovely to talk to whenever we do, and thank u for reading my fic too despite zombies not being ur thing i appreciate u!! @strayklds / @facethesuns em i just think it's so funny that we like didn't speak before i invited u to the gif streaming server and i just did that on a whim bc u passed the vibe check and now i feel like we are good friends. despite still rarely speaking KSLDFLSDLKF but i love that for us and love ur gifs and seeing u around always 💞 @neohyune hi fae <3 i know us speaking is like a very recent development but i also wanted to mention u individually to thank u for your help ���� i need to write more of my fic tbh...but i Will be checking our conversation again for Notes. you also seem like a very sweet person so i would love to talk to u more in the future also 💕 @linoyes another very recent friendship (yes i am calling it that already) in my life, but thank u for your generosity, let's meet that fundraising goal together 💪 i hope we're also able to talk more outside of this context too. i just have a feeling i will have a lot more to say about u once i make another one of these!!

i'm ngl i don't know how many of you actually follow me here and i don't have time to check everyone's username individually so i'm just going to list a bunch of blogs i follow who may or may not follow me JKLSDFLKSDF but y'all make my dash a better place, thank u for all u do! 🫶 feel free to talk to me anytime too

@dazzlingkai @theseulgis @joytual @anyujin @cchuu @cherry-heartss @boynextdoors @hyunchans @ambivartence @minzbins @everglowz @chogiwow @ttathinker @minhosblr @minho-knows @yang-innie @leegahyun @bu99erfly

[squeakyleftsneaker]

Watching Voltron for the 1st Time: S6 Ep. 1-3

Oh brother. Oh dawg. Oh my fucking god. We've really reached this point in time. If you're stumbling across this and thinking to yourself "What on earth possessed you to take this cross upon your shoulders?" This is the epic backstory in a longass post. If you don't want to read that, I tutor a kid, kid likes this show, I said I'd check it out, kid got really excited. Also, now that I've sunk too much life into this fresh pile of shit, I need to see it through to the end. Cannot BELIEVE we're six seasons in bro.

Fine. Okay. Sure

Lance and I are on the same page abt Lotor

Sure let's learn about the Galra whatever this is an acceptable exposition form of things

FINALLY LEARNED WHAT VREPIT SA MEANS

They really could've set up this Shiro Is Compromised bit much better but I am happy they've finally remembered they have to keep it going. Which presumably means it'll be resolved soon enough bc I don't think they have forethought skills on the level of consistent foreshadowing more than like. Half an episode.

Keith's hot mom omfg I'm giggling and kicking my feet and shit Keith shut up and do what she tells you

WOW the abyss is beautiful. It's gorgeous. Again, these artists man. They've really cooked up some of the most gorgeous visuals in service of MID.

Oh cool Shiro and Keith are going to fight.

KROLIA IS MOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR waow

Whales in space bro. I fuck w it.

Choosing to believe that this yeehaw rootin of tootin man with an eyebrow slit was the one pregnant with Keith

I actually kinda like these flashbacks but they are still SO reliant on just telling us shit in it.

DOG SPACE DOG FLUFFY CUTE LIL SPACE DOG OH YES FABULOUS GIMME EIGHTY MILLION OF THEM WITH THIS TIME PASSING MONTAGE OH AND IT TELEPORTS OH DEUX EX PUPPY I LOVE YOU

Also lmfao they aged Keith up now they can Korrasami ending homo him with literally any of the guys in the cast no problem (if they do this it is LAZY writing)

Yay! D&D!

SHIRO JUST PLAYING HIMSELF IN D&D BITCH I KNOW YOUR TYPE OF PLAYER I KNOW WHAT TF YOU ARE love his lil tiara I LOVE HIM YOU FUCKING DORK

"I'm going to be a Paladin again" CRYING HE'S SUCH A NERD I WANNA SHOVE HIM IN A LOCKER AND GIVE HIM A HUG

Lance is a FURRY???????

PLEASE HOW MANY TIMES IS SHIRO GOING TO DIE (in D&D and fr in the show)

"I wanna be a Paladin again" DAMN RIGHT U DO BABY

New Heights Of Skill Issue

If they'd made Lotor seem even VAGUELY trustworthy these episodes would work much better

Again I CANNOT believe that this show sets up the fact that Voltron is acting at the behest of Lotor and NEVER explores it. Lotor is set up to be a fascie-lite colonial wannabe! They're working for the fucking ruler of this horrible empire when he's made NO real reform efforts! They've become a symbol for HIM too and the show does NOTHING with that and like. WHY????????? WHY NOT

That's Not How Welding Works I'm Not Even GOOD At Welding And I Can Tell You That

Allura is Jesus and she will die for our sins ig but also I'm PISSED at this show for what they've done to her so she can be with Lance man FOR FUCKING WHYYYYYY

Just because you've letting Keith's hot mom do the exposition doesn't mean I'm going to forget you're doing a LOT of exposition

KROLIA UR MAN IS MY WORST ENEMY

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE DOING IT WITH MY HOT ALIEN QUEEN DOESN'T MEAN I FORGIVE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF EXPOSITION THROUGH FLASHBACK

ALSO THAT MAN??? MID. KROLIA PLEASE JUST GIVE ME ONE CHANCE ONE SINGULAR CHANCE

They're telling us Lance has never really liked someone that she's not like any other girl and like. YOU COULD'VE SHOWN US

Lance has Miami Cuban Energy [derogatory] in this episode (and yes before you get mad on my ass I am hispanic and no you don't get more details than that. Trust I know the Miami Cuban energy WELL and I have earned my ability to poke fun at them)

I'm just kinda annoyed at how much they've relied on TELLING us everything about Lance. HE'S OUR AUDIENCE STAND-IN! HE IS US! WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HIM !!!!

Micexposition is STILL not forgivable to me

Do I think a D&D episode is a good use of our time when this season has six episodes, none character, and left exposition? No. But I like D&D so ig whatever

I'm screaming WE GET D&D EXPOSITION? WE NEED EXPOSITION TO FUCKING PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS? I COULD MAKE A BETTER D&D CAMPAIGN WITH THE CONCEPT OF THIS SHOW THAN THEY CAN MAKE A SILLY LITTLE D&D EPISODE IM SO

Lance is a FURRY???????

This was a massive waste of time but oh well I had a good time

THE SCIENCE TECHNOBABBLE IN THIS SHOW PISSES ME OFF SM FR GUYS I'M SO

Guys this show is so dumb. SOOOOOO dumb. But I do really like D&D. Dearly. Anyway let's discuss the Implications.

If, say, a competent, patient, and unskillissued writer were to look at Voltron, the easiest and by far smartest way to handle "Voltron aligns with Lotor" would be to have them interact with a previously subjugated planet rebelling from the empire. Have Voltron split off from Lotor who is doing some weird emperor shit, have Voltron go check it out, and have the locals respond VERY NEGATIVELY to Voltron because, well, they're with Lotor!

Have Voltron really get to grips with what they're coming to represent! Have them have to realize from the people they used to really help that they've become a symbol of the status quo of subjugation! The Omega Shield episode was such a waste of time bc it's highly conciliatory to the Galra.

When Lotor said "That's one of our labor planets" IT SHOULD'VE BEEN POINTED OUT THAT THEY CANONICALLY HAVE LABOR CAMPS! FOR PRISONERS!

Allura has been so nerfed to make her Need Lance and Lance has just been shuffled off into "Makes snarky comments at Lotor and mopes over Allura" territory (one of those is needed bc Lotor sorely needs someone to punch him) which sucks because again, I cannot stress enough, he's the audience character. We are supposed to get him. He is supposed to be our character.

Idk. Keith is just there now he's honestly kinda dead to me bc my loyalties are solely to his hot mom, but ig they aged him up bc they can't decide what to do with him. Which. Clearly. We can tell bub. I am intrigued by them finding Even More Alteans like sure what the hell why not but also let's get a GRIP bro and let's put ourselves together. The inevitable Shiro fight is happening this season because these writers can't fucking plan for more than 2 seconds without just doing it anyway.

The main thing I liked from this is just that Shiro really is a massive dork and he's a big nerd and I want to shove him in a locker or shove his head in a toilet or something wow he's adorable. Love him. I think it's a shame they haven't bothered to do too much with him on the whole in the way I think it's a shame they haven't bothered to do much with Keith the whole time. The only established interpersonal connection on this show and they've really squandered it by NOT HAVING ANYTHING HAPPEN.

We shall debrief at the end of this season which I intend to finish TODAY.

[jben073]

hai! I saw ur post abt Grace headcanons, and I just wanted to ask about her and her connection to Blinky

Hi anon! Here’s an unintentionally kind of long elaboration about my headcanon for Grace being connected to the Lords in Black for much longer than we see in canon! This is like a mix of headcanons as well as overanalyzing things in canon under the context of these hcs!

Also, funny story, I fully misinterpreted this ask the first time that I read it and thought that you were asking for headcanons of Grace’s dynamic with Blinky so I ended up writing a ton of those before I realized that you were talking specifically about a point from my last hc post! With that being said, I’ll also be posting those headcanons after this as a bit of a bonus so that they don’t go to waste!

Quick reiteration of the hc that this is based on and also another point that inspired this:

I like to think that Grace has been connected to the LIB since long before we see her, Steph, and Pete summon them in NPMD. Like Lex was once connected to Webby but forgot as she got older, Grace was friends with the Lords in Black when she was a child but she lost that memory as she grew up.

This point was mostly inspired by Blinky’s line about having been watching Grace and the fact that Grace is implied to have the gift since she had a vision of Max killing Richie.

The other point that inspired this was that in the NPMD talkback, they answered a question that essentially asked if Grace was the anti-christ and if I recall correctly, they never gave a definitive ‘yes’ or ‘no’ so that spiralled into the idea that Grace is essentially the anti-Hannah of the Hatchetfield universe.

Basically, if Hannah is connected to Webby and in the simplest of terms is meant to use her abilities to save Hatchetfield, Grace is connected to the Lords in Black and is meant to destroy it.

Onto connection hcs now!

- The Lords introduced themselves to Grace when she was a very young girl. They told her that they were guardian angels sent by God to protect her which allowed them to gain her trust and more easily persuade her under the guise of holy intentions. They were playing the long con so they couldn’t be antagonistic at this point. First, they had to convince her that they were there to help. 

Tinky made sure she was never late to school, Blinky kept an eye out for her when she was crossing the road, Wiggly helped her stand up to her bullies, Nibbly reminded her not to forget her lunch bag, Pokey made sure she remembered the lyrics for her choir performances at church, etc.

- Through establishing this trust with Grace, they were able to take the opportunity of being around her during her crucial developmental years to instill their values/views on things like violence and death in her. This is why things like lying to the police or selling drugs are bad in her mind while dismembering a body is not! 

This is also how Grace picks up the habit of using the same nick-naming conventions as the Lords in Black do. The LIB very often refer to people as “name-ie/y” like Stephie, Gracie, etc. and similarly, in Bury the Bully, Grace is shown to do the same thing: “Petey, get the acid, Ruthie, you can grab the hatchet, and Stephie, tapes!” This bit of influence remained with her even after she forgot about the LIB.

- As she got older, likely around the age that she was approaching Middle School, the Lord’s methods changed since she was too old for ‘imaginary friends’ now. They slowly stopped talking to her outright and let her forget them so that they could begin strengthening their connection even further. Rather than talking to her as external beings, they essentially merged themselves and their voices in with her subconscious thoughts to the point that Grace isn’t even really aware that these thoughts aren’t truly her own. They’re still with her and arguably closer than ever before but to her, they were nothing more than imaginary friends that, eventually, she’ll forget all together. 

Notably, during this time of perceived distance, Blinky keeps an especially watchful and vigilant eye on Grace, learning the things that matter to her most and waiting for the right time for them to reenter her life officially.

Little analysis/theory thing of mostly canon that I like to use to support this hc :3 (I’m aware this doesn’t work perfectly but it’s fun to me!) 

(someone on this site has definitely said something similar about the Dirty Girl lighting before so I at least know I’m not the only one thinking this way lol)

The lighting in this show is really deliberate a lot of the time and I think that the colours used in Dirty Girl especially are very specific! In that scene, the lighting is pink and purple which I like to interpret as being a sign of Blinky and Nibbly’s influence on Grace. We know from the later line in the summoning that Blinky has been watching Grace and I think that this lighting here says that he is watching her now. (Similarly, when Steph and Pete have the purple lighting during If I Loved You, he is watching them then, which is how the LIB know what Steph cherishes most.)

Then with Nibbly, he’s all about hunger and desire so if his lighting is there, I like to think that his influence is what’s making Grace have this dream. He’s known Grace for her whole life; he knows that having sexual desire is one of the worst things that she can think of doing, so it becomes the perfect tool to make her snap. The LIB need her to be in a state of distress and separation from her faith so that she’s pliable to their will and they know that this will get her there. Nibbly’s influence here is the first step in the second phase of their plan to recruit Grace as their conduit (the first being to meet her when she’s young and input their values in her).

Similarly, the lighting while they act out Grace’s plan at the Waylon Place is all blue, and when you think about how Grace’s idea was largely centered around putting on a performance for Max it’s interesting to consider that Pokey may have been the one to put that idea in Grace’s head. Pokey, knowing that the Waylon Place was structurally unsound, wanted ‘Grace’s’ plan to fail or more accurately, he wanted his plan to go exactly as he intended. The nerds killing Max is just another push for Grace toward being open to their intervention.

Grace also mentions to Steph that she hasn’t been thinking clearly lately after the Beanies scene which I like to think is because the LIB have gotten louder in her head. Again, she’s used to their quiet influencing of her and believes that their voices are truly her own thoughts so when they’ve pushed her this far already, they take her vulnerable state as a chance to get a bit more vocal and demanding. In response, Grace interprets that chaos as just not being able to think clearly because for the first time, it is not her own thoughts that are most prominent in her head.

By the time Grace summons them with Steph and Pete, they’ve already gotten her exactly where they want her. She’s given in to sexual desires and she’s gone against her morals, thus she’s in the perfect place for them to start the final phase of their plan.

First, reveal themselves to her. Attack her connection to her faith and sever her from her moral guide. This way she’ll be desperate for something new to guide her in the absence of what she has always held central to her character. 

(slight interruption bc I didn't know where to put this otherwise vv)

I think it’s interesting in the summoning scene that Grace’s “oh!”s during the beginning of the song sound different from Pete and Steph’s. To me, the sound she’s making as well as her facial expressions (right before the Lords appear, she squeezes her eyes shut tightly and tucks her head against her chest in a grimace-like expression) almost give the impression that she is in pain. In the context of my reading, I think that the LIB taking a physical form and essentially detaching themselves from Grace’s mind was a painful sensation for her.

Second, use her friends and her nature against her to get her to give up her chastity: the final connection that Grace has to her faith and the very thing that gives her a sense of self/identity. They need her to be hopeless and lost if they want her to submit to them.

Grace might be morally corrupt, but she is self-sacrificing and they know that, they’ve seen the Abstinence Camp timeline and watched her throw herself in front of an axe to protect Steph and Pete. The LIB’s deal to get rid of Max was never truly about getting what Grace, Steph, or Pete cherished most; it was about breaking Grace. They always knew that she would be the one to give something up in the end, they just had to make sure it was her chastity and that her friends would be at risk if she wasn’t the one to make the sacrifice. 

In doing this, they can now reenter her life and influence her uninhibited by the previous objections of her faith. They have at their fingertips a sheltered teenage girl, that’s desperate for guidance and full of unchecked rage and potential power who they’ve primed to be moulded into whatever they like as long as they present themselves as all that she has left and they have succeeded in doing that.

Following this would be mostly canon activities with Grace being fully under their influence and on her crusade against dirty dudes! 

(And in my head I’m gonna make it a little sad because this girl gave up the most important thing to her and everyone perceives it as silly because Steph and Pete’s were another person which is way bigger of a deal in comparison, but it still makes me sad that she didn’t get to chose having her first time!! It was something she had to do without getting to decide if she was ready and that hurts my heart. Now she’s just a lost kid who has been constantly having people tell her what to think and how to act and she’s found possibly the worst people to follow because she’s desperate and doesn’t know how to exist if she’s not worshipping someone else. Someone just give her a hug and tell her that she’s allowed to fuck up every once in a while, PLEASE!)

Okay, that’s all for now! This was really long and rambly so I hope that it made sense!! If anything I said needs clarifying/further elaboration feel free to let me know/ask and I can rephrase/add-on! :3

Thank you for the ask anon!!

[okartichoke]

every three generations there is a "supermonarch" that travels the whole distance from Mexico/southern U.S to Canada/Northern U.S (it takes normal butterflies three generations to migrate back to Mexico)

when the monarchs are almost ready to come out of the chrysalis its color turns to black with gold dots.

monarch caterpillars eat poisonous milkweed to deter predators from eating them. Milkweed is poisonous to humans (it won't kill you it'll probably just give you a rash and washing your hands will fix it)

monarchs "overwinter" in the south to escape the harsh winter. They usually rest on oaks, there are so many of them on one tree branches will bend and break.

monarchs have a very precise "inner clock" so they always arrive in the south on the same day or near the same day.

there were so many of them in the past that Mexicans believe that they carry the souls of the dead

I also have a monarch garden and it always gets overrun by aphids so

Fun Fact: one of the most effective ways for removing aphids is to spray them with a jet of water, it's fun ngl and it doesn't hurt the plants.

another option is taking them out one by one with rubbing alcohol, most preventative measures don't work very well so it's all just slaughtering the poor things 😭 you don't have to kill them because they don't hurt the caterpillars, but they DO hurt the plant so only kill them if they grow to cover the top stems

on sigma thanks for listening to me yap I'll probably make another one soon..😈

I ALSO LOVE YOUR ART just wanted to say

YAY MONARCH FACTS !!! im responding to all these so LONG POST EVERYBODY

supermonarch?? is it like just one monarch or like is that whole generation 'super'? also HUHHHHHHHH why does that even happen ? how does that even happen ?? thats so cool ????

their chrysalis turning gold-spotted black is so monarch coded i love that for them tbh

image of a branch of monarchs overwintering for everyone ^ :DDD,, actually crazy that they can bend/break branches by sheer numbers ?? i didnt know that ! really has me in awe thinking abt it

THE INNER CLOCK THING IS SO COOOL,, i wonder how climate change affects their clock? if at all,,, whether that be the current climate change or something like an ice age

now that's interesting,, abt Mexicans believing them to carry the souls of the dead ! ik butterflies have been related to souls/death in at least a few other cultures,, Japanese and Greek are springing to mind for me,,, its really interesting to see how that connection emerged in mexico though,, and it makes me wonder about other cultures too,,, btw are monarchs the only ones to do this great migration? or are their other species with something similar?

YAYY A MONARCH GARDEN but booo aphids 😔😔😔 shooting them with a hose sounds like a blast LOL omg i would i would

have you ever seen monarch's overwinter in person?? (i can only assume that they're very protected during this time, so if seeing them isn't even an option/bad for them or something forget i asked !!)

[yumehimek]

uhm…. i totally didn’t just notice id didn’t post my Kieran interpretation here… uhm yeah, definitely… *gently places bro down here* yeah take this for now… (i would post the speedpaint though, its on tiktok my @ is angelicdreaminggirl on there…)

[Yap session below abt my version of Kieran !! Its really long… Read if u want !!]

Keep in mind some key facts here !!

Kieran is around 15-16 here! (Ik he’s believed to be 14 though he doesn’t have a canon age I think it was in the french vers that gave him an age though not in the Original or english version of the game??? This may be incorrect so take it with a grain of salt!)

I have applied/projected some of my own qualities onto him! (The lazy right eye, scrape $car on his right knee.)

I did take a few things from his general character story into account, and I’ll drop the indigo disk version someday. (Aka the first aid kit I HC him having in his bag along with a notepad & pencil, bandaids, pokemon food, potions, and candy. Applin sometimes…)

I do believe he’d have a first aid kit bc he can be a tad clumsy, and for others as well! He may be shy though he obviously has a good heart, and would offer assistance with what he has! Also to explain why I believe he is 15-16 is because:

1. He seems around that age with how he is, and given he goes to a ‘fancy rich kid school’ as one of the character in the dlc said in I think it was… mochi mayhem? I could be wrong. 2. Though he’d obviously be mature and Carmine is his older sister, and she seems to be about 17-18 year old in my perspective. And even if she’s his older sister, they seem to have abt a two year age difference? 3. Also the fact in the indigo disk he was somewhat very confident & was able to actually go up and talk to others. And that doesn’t happen overnight! (I also have severe social anxiety so I get it when he’s shy and cant exactly talk to others! My older sibling or someone else has to speak for me when I just cant… just as Carmine had to ask abt the battle with MC and kiki. Because ‘he’d never be able to ask himself’ or something along those lines as she said in-game.)

So it’s clear to say it’d take abt a year for him to get over that, with the determination he had, it may be a bit forced after the first few months. Though it was quite effective in making him come out of his shell. Also the fact that the transfer program is most likely a yearly thing. I mean c’mon, ‘fancy rich kid school’ as it was called, it think. It’s a prestigious academy, and the students they let in were any a small group? From a school similar to that. A possible sister school transfer program. With that much of exclusivity that has be be like once in a blue moon? And it gives Kieran enough time to work on his studies and social/battle skills, as well as a due date for when he’d possibly have a chance to face the MC again.

Also the fact the I HC him with lots of old $cars and remnants of healed injuries, as stated in the second image. Because he did say that he got in trouble with his grandparents and other adults for going up the mountain late at night as a kid, to possibly see the ogre. And that seems very dangerous, though it wasn’t specified, I assumed it was only with a flashlight… so if he got hurt, he’d have to go back to Mossui Town for medical attention. And the scolding too… (poor kiki D:) Also the fact I HC him as clumsy, given he is a bit shy and would be caught off guard most of the time. So Kiki learned his lesson and soon started bringing a first aid kit with him everywhere he goes. And now it’s a known necessity to him nowadays, and not just bringing snacks & sweets and a water with him. He may forget sometimes during indigo disk with how distracted he is with getting stronger.

He may have been irritable and angsty in Indigo disk though he is well written during there. And for him being a D1 crash-out in that era, it was pretty valid. I’d be hella upset if my first friend though I’d flip out just because they got to do something I’d wanted for so long. Also lying abt it, though I wouldn’t hate them completey. After all Kieran did still care! He just wanted be accepted, like everyone else does.

(It’s mainly the reason I don’t associate myself as the MC, and rather the MC as their own person. Since I’d never really act like that and our personalities don’t align, and I wanted to make a more accurate storyline, while keeping to canon, where I can fit myself into the timeline accurately.)

[To sum it up. Kieran was 15 in Teal mask, then 16 in Indigo disk. Kieran has a few more habits because I believe he’s exceptionally written, and is more forgetful/distracted and complex during indigo disk.]

[THESE ARE ALL PERSONAL OPINION!! It’s okay to have a different opinions, and I won’t force you to accept mine! I just don’t want to get possibly attacked for this if this is possibly viewed as a ‘controversial opinion’. So consider it an opinion of mine! Also DO NOT use this design for shipping with anyone other than myself/ Karaii! That is all I ask! It’d make me uncomfortable if such is done.]

Thank you for reading!

[treecut-place]

Just gonna leave a few requests here, I’m fine with waiting for them

I’d love to see

Leafpool x Hollyleaf

Leafpool x Jayfeather

Leafpool x Lionblaze

That’ll be it for now

Oh hey I like leafholly :3

No warrior name since they came out looking pretty apprentice aged, but a few names I could think up for them would be Juniperskip, Juniperbranch, Juniperleaf (now they're all leaves..), Junipershine, Junipershade, Juniperheart.............

Also uhh *looks at the date of the last Everything* long time no see huh. I did not forget but Damn did Things Happen

To anyone wondering I/we're doing fine! While this blog has been put off on somewhat of an unofficial hiatus, list of things that have occured to the entity running this includes: quietly left the general wc fandom (I'm still into it it's just... the fandom........ scary), deleted outlook-rock, got into rain code, experienced ego death, became a big boy rain code blogger, turned out to be fictionkin, the nefarious personality disorder came (or was there all the time but I ignored it lmao), turned out to be a system, on all levels except physical is most likely not the same person(s) yall know from the early 20s wc profic resurgence but there's lots of memories of it, got into akuma kun, got into a bunch of shit actually, acquired cool mutuals, healed from the horrific trauma of being called a ribosome at wattpad, got even more queer uhhhh etcetera etcetera basically life went on at least for me

But aughhhh I kinda miss the profic wc fandom. It feels like just less and less people are really posting anything, and I don't really know exactly how much the general tumblr fandom has shifted but from what I can gather it's still heavily leaning into the more anti side as usual. But ever since I kinda branched out more, I feel way safer and just. Better. Than when I was just mainly posting cats

But yeah, uh!! Yomi (one of our Guys. proooobably was around in our wc days? can recall most people we sorta got to know back then) has actually recently made a wc sideblog, @/snakerocks! He's the only one that plans on posting abt cats in the near future, and while it's mainly his some others are also allowed to occassionally also post on it as guests lol. The blog is private so it doesn't come up in search results (unless you type it all the way) so he doesn't have to worry about fuckwads getting pissy about whatever he posts like they use to on public blogs. Sooo if ur enchanted with our wcposting you can go follow and ask him whatever, shipping or character or au/rewrite wise or whatever, no matter how random................ So yeah!

Anyway concerning this blog: I definitely won't delete it, I may continue to just post on and off whenever I feel like it, maybe it's gonna be slow and rare as always, maybe i'll get a sudden burst of kitty inspiration and get more active, I dunno.

I hope you all are doing well, whatever you are doing now <33

- ashley & Yomi

[ottiliere]

hello! ur posts on the vagus nerve and its connections to digestions have encouraged me to do a lil mini dissertation thingy kinda focused on it/around it, ur big thread on PVT and everything really piqued my interest when i read it and i just held onto it for like a year or smthing until like last week when i started the project. Ik u said recently in one of ur posts i believe that ur not going to post the big dirk PVT post and im not here to be like yo post it because i also think u said that ur kinda moving away from like hs/dirky stuff rn ?? (im forgetting if i saw that sorry) but yeah i just wanted to say thank u etc etc, like ive never done an ask before so sorry if this is phrased weirdly but ur blog is just like one of those blogs that fundamentally changed how i view certain things in life for the better lol, like whether its ur beautiful representations / depictions of mental health in like just beautifully painted art (seriously the way u make it look like idk how to word it cartoony/really 2d but then it stands out against the background + if u zoom in and see the tiny pixel details == it makes me mad) or just like the huggeee long form posts that i like to chew on and save cuz theres so many details that AFFAAT like the way you talk abt the topics u portray has made me concious of how i would want to do so in the same way ig u get me. anyway this got really long and idk if i come across coherently, but ur just a random person on the internet whos art and written thoughts that u decide to share makes me happy when i see it == makes me pace around my room and distract me from this fat essay lmao so tldr: i really appreciate what u do + i hope like that ur doing well and that u keep arting and thoughting no matter what it is that u choose to focus on

(uve made me comitted to reading jthm, playing psychonauts and giving jjba w/ dio another go lmao) 🫶🫶

Hello! I’m sorry this reply is coming so late, this ask in particular is very sweet and has stuck out to me.

I’m really happy to have introduced you to PVT, this is something I’ve heard from a few different people on here and it’s very sweet… I did my thesis on it in college and the time really flew by while working on it, things you don't think could possibly attributed to "nerve issues" being nerve issues is always an eye-opener, isn't it? being able to research things that interest you & access information in general really is a privilege in this day and age.

“The topics [I] portray” are very important to me, so it’s heartening when others take interest in spite of the obvious deterrents. A lot of what I love making art about is unpalatable to most, and while I do understand the reasons for that on principle, it can make things feel a little insular. I genuinely believe there’s a lot of value in depicting tableaus of misery.

The last year has brought a lot of very unforeseen changes, and my life is quite different from when I initially made this blog to post about him! That’s also part of why I’ve been so sparse here…though I’m working to change that quite soon. I love sharing my work, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting some truly wonderful people through this website. That said…with where I’m at now, I’m not sure I’ll be posting the Dirk essay anytime soon, I’m afraid.

I’ve undertaken a few ongoing projects, one of which in particular is an original project I plan on sharing publicly here hopefully within the next month or so. I hope it’s something you & anyone else who’s stuck around with me here will enjoy, but failing that, I’ve really enjoyed working on it thus far.

Thank you for the sweet ask, take care, and good luck with your project!

[bahrlee]

feel free to delete, but i happened to see your post abt yuibros and honestly? yeah. it would be one thing if yui had left the group recently and people were bummed out that she was gone, but it's been six years since the left the group and i don't know how people haven't realized in the past six years that it's WEIRD to speculate so hard about her health and if she'll ever come back while ALSO being rude abt momo in the process. i remember around when momo was announced as the new third member, people were going on about how 'disappointed' they were that it wasn't yui. like, even *IF* she does return to the industry, it's not gonna be under bm.

sorry for the paragraph in your ask box! it just blows my mind. i wish people could move on

Yr all good anon!! Ill even ramble EVEN MORE to make you feel better and bc I'm also a serial yapper:

It rlly does blow my mind too, I'm a new fan (literally this year) but the way people talk about Yui is so strange. Like I get that older fans may have an attachment to Yui and all that she brought to Babymetal, and being sad that she ended up leaving, but the speculation about her health and refusal to move on thats been going on this long is just really weird. People treat her and her departure like everything is so mysterious when in reality... she just left and that's OK. I feel like American fans are so used to celebrities personal lives being shoved in our faces that they forget that in other countries, including Japan, people are more private, including their public figures, so not everything is a bing conspiracy.

And I really feel like it can come from a creepy place because the people who hold onto Yui, who's been immortalized as a teenage girl for the time being, hold onto the idea that the "old babymetal" was better (which can be fine for many more harmless reasons), implying they stopped enjoying the band once the members grew up--which no one can control--and thus had to evolve their sound passed what they were doing as literal children. It gets all sorts of weird, considering the age range of the fans tend to be grown men, even back then. And grown men are the main people I see complaining about Yui being gone 🤢 part of me even thinks that that's why they bodyshamed Momo when she joined, because she has the average body of a woman in her early 20s and is slightly taller with a soft jawline and they just can't handle that, the girls being all grown now.

They'll even go as far as to say things like "no yui, no babymetal" which is not only extremely rude to Momo of course, but to Su and Moa as well, because... yui isnt the only member??? Su is the lead singer, the main voice of the group. Moa has said in interviews she can't imagine a life without BM. Imagine how they'd feel hearing someone say that, 6 years into a single members departure!

At least Babymetal is sticking it to them by absolutely killing it this year. People have warmed up to Momo substantially and see her as her own member more than a replacement now and recognize that she earned her spot as a mainstay. Yuis legacy will always be important to the history of Babymetal and we should never forget her, but the future is very bright, and Yuibros are thankfully few and far between nowadays from what I see.

[sophspacedotcom]

short story one

Refresh. Refresh. Open, Slide. Heart icon, like. I sit in a dark room, opening and closing the app a million times. I saw it on Facebook the other day. Who the fuck uses Facebook even? Is it just the people who made fun of you in high school for being “emo” or my parents, who like to repost AI reels with a caption with tons of laughing emojis no one uses anymore? But Facebook is the most sophisticated app. It can lead me down a wormhole of discovery. Instagram is the confirmation app, the app through a filter, the app that makes people want to kill themselves. Everyone is on Ozempic there or uses tons of filler. Facebook involves all the ugly, photos tagged of people in their truest form. You can see every imperfection and it feels humbling, surrounded by beautiful faces all day. We aren’t meant to see that many beautiful people a day, it makes me feel like I have so many unfinished tabs open. 

I scroll and scroll. And scroll. It’s late, I should be asleep. But I feel the most awake, staring at strangers and former ghosts on my phone screen. My eyes ache of dryness but I cannot look away. 

Ding. A reply to my story, a repost of Patti LuPone in the 1970s. She is so hot. I wish I was her. 

DylanBrowne: why r u awake?

I roll my eyes so hard, I can feel my head combust.

SallyJames: no.

DylanBrowne: hahahah

SallyJames: what do u want?

DylanBrowne: looked pretty in ur recent post. 

I feel my gums get tight and my teeth gain sensitivity. 

SallyJames: didn’t u ghost me like 2 years ago?

DylanBrowne: oops ;)

Never trust a man who types in all lowercase letters. I scroll through more reels, many of them are either plagued with the conservative mindset, pushing trad wife content, and then immediately followed by photos of tiny puppies in little puffer coats. Is this what the internet age is all about? 

I get up. I put in headphones and I listen to Dinosaur Jr., very loudly in my ears. J Mascis’s raspy voice feels my eardrums and I feel like I am levitating. It’s past when I should be asleep. No one else is awake around me, except @ DylanBrowne. Somehow that feels so isolating, I look out at the window and feel the moon looking back at me. I wish I could talk to her, I think she understands me the most. My studio apartment feels like it is floating towards her. The guitar on the song makes me feel emotional and it makes my eyes well up. I lost my sister and the world somehow felt like it stopped spinning. That was a year ago. 

A year ago, I was talking over funeral plans with my family. Now, a year later, I sit alone in my studio apartment on a Wednesday night getting DMed by some guy who ghosted me years prior. 

All for looking pretty on his feed. 

Pretty is so subjective. My sister was so stunning, I wanted to be here so badly. Prettiness doesn’t spare you from death, why do we obsess when who knows when the day will come? The prettiest girl alive could be many things, but when she dies she is dead. I could be dead tomorrow and that DylanBrowne guy could give a fucking shit. 

I DM back.

SallyJames: why did u ghost me btw

DylanBrowne: what

SallyJames: u heard me, answer pls

DylanBrowne: idk i have ADHD and forget things

SallyJames: why am i pretty

DylanBrowne: huh

SallyJames: answer pls u ghosted me

DylanBrowne: nice ass i think

Shallow and stupid. Why was I even still following him? Maybe I was curious. Or was it a hate follow? We all hate follow at some point, I think. Did I mention I have insomnia? That’s why my mind goes a mile a minute and switches topics very quickly. I can’t even turn it off when my head hits the pillow. I just lay awake, wishing I could live on the moon with no one around. With no access to social media. Just the flood of the stars, surrounding me. 

All I would need is my headphones and an iPod with all my favorite songs. 

SallyJames: Have you ever wanted to go to the moon?

DylanBrowne: didn’t elon want to do that?

SallyJames: mars, idiot. 

DylanBrowne: never rlly thought abt it ig

SallyJames: i want to go to the moon, i want to look at the stars, i want to float among them i want to get lost on the surface of the moon, in all the craters and all asleep with the same view every single night, i want to throw my phone into the air and never talk to anyone ever again.

DylanBrowne: ? r u drunk

Would I miss human connection if I went to the moon? Would I be lonely? I am only lonely at night, but not lonely in the I miss people way. Lonely in the way that only the moon is there to talk to me. I wish she would come into my apartment and sit with me. 

I look at her again out my window. I open my window.

“Hi,” I say. She smiles back at me, almost blinding me. 

“Hi, Sally.”

“You are the only one awake with me.”

“That I am.”

“I am enamored by your beauty.”

“That is very kind, thank you.” 

“I want to leave this planet and be with you. I think I am in love with you.”

“The idea of me, possibly.” 

“I want to be with you, I want to stay up late talking to you, forever.” “You think I am that beautiful?” “I do, yes.”

“I don’t think I am, but thank you.”

Even the moon doesn’t think she is beautiful. She looks like what I imagine Aphrodite is. Is that what it is like for others, looking at us? We just see the wrong and they see the right? I look over my shoulder. 

There she stands. The moon is in my room. Her hair, icey blonde and long. Her eyes are golden, and her skin, glowing. My eyes feel like they are welling up. I go to grab her hand. 

“You are here.”

“I am.”

“I want to kiss you.” “You can.”

I kiss her and it feels like the whole world stops spinning for a moment. Not like when my sister died, that was a sad, slow spinning. But when you listen to FM radio on speakers, and it feels so warm and so clear. 

My alarm goes off. I open my eyes. I must have finally fallen asleep again. I woke up to a pile of drool next to my cheek and my phone in hand, playing Dinosaur Jr. with headphones in my ears. 

DylanBrowne - 3 unopened. 

I blocked him. I walk over to the wall of photos and spot my sister again. Since she died, some night I sleep and some nights I don’t. Or I don’t remember when I closed my eyes. Seeing a sea of darkness scares me. I look out my window, there sits the sun. 

The moon is gone for now, I will see her in a few hours. Until then, I drift off, wondering what my life would be like if I did actually run away with her. 

I wish I did.

[my-pjo-stuff]

Hey, you should really take your age, name and nationality out of your bio because any creepy adult or hacker can see it and you really shouldn't put confidential information like that in your bio.

I'm not trying to be rude, just trying to be compassionate so sorry if I came off as rude. You should do it even if people know because people will eventually forget and there will be new people who'll come and interact with you and you won't know.

Anyway, please consider my advice. Thank you very much

Lmao no need, and thanks a lot! I suppose you do have a point with my age- though I don't really see why I should remove my "name" and nationality. mainly because...well, my name (obviously) isn't my name. It's just what I go by online and there to provide a way to address me since I dislike the sound of "My-pjo-stuff" for a name XD. And nationality wise....well, right now there are about 84,04 Million people currently alive that are also German, so I doubt that a hacker could do a lot with that info. And even if, I am relatively vocal about being proudly German in my posts if the topic comes up. So it wouldn't really make sense to get it off my bio if I'm not rly secretive abt it.

[sugurugetos]

ur post about eunchae, ure so right i really can't wrap my head around how many grown people on twt are jumping to defend hybe for making a minor twerk on stage. like these people cant even take constructive criticism even when its purpose is to protect a member of their fav group.. what even is there to say... i genuinely also think stan kpop culture has rotted some peoples brains. ten years later when female idols will talk about how traumatic it was for them to wear certain clothes or do certain concepts at such a young age i hope these fans remember they were complicit.

genuinely bc i feel baffled seeing things 'theres something wrong w ur mindset if u think its inappropriate' or how teenage girls can dance but i feel like people who say that forget theres a difference in trying to say teen girls can just dance and have fun and then in the kpop industry with safety shorts visible (i have sm beef w the stylist) in front of grown men hollering and theyre like ohhh shes almost 18, she JUST turned 17

and genuinely the last part too!! like have we not heard stories from 2nd gen idols well into their 30s abt how exploitive things can be :// but the real issue just lies with that the company (companies tbh) does not care

[becauseplot]

thinking abt dsmp x qsmp x botw crossover again. im still working through what exactly i want to do about the Kakariko- and Yiga-equivalent regions/groups in this au. and the Shiekah-equivalent as well, which i suppose would belong to the Kakariko-equivalent.

under the cut: me just walking through some ideas about my au, WEMBM. very rambly. mostly just me posting for safekeeping and to help me work through thoughts and because hitting the post button makes brain release happy chemical. can totally be ignored /gen :thumbsup: writing in tumblr drafts just makes the ideas come easier idk lmao. might private this later just because *shrug*

as of right now, the idea of doing some sort of dsmp-eggpire/qsmp-watchers fusion for the Yiga-equivalent is very tempting. the original au was just eggpire, but now of course im tossing qsmp into the mix. sure, the federation is a decent enough candidate for the role, being an Evil Organization and all, but i feel like the watchers embody that element of suffering, chaos, carnality, and twisted righteousness. while the feds have their dark sides, the overall aesthetic of the federation is too clinical and organized for the cult of armageddon-worshippers. the federation is fairly reserved and mysterious, whereas the watchers (and the Watcher itself) are very blunt and up-front about their goals: make the "sinners" pay. that fits the yiga-role best, in my opinion.

so, eggpire-watcher fusion. i've got a few directions i can go with this. if i remember correctly, the original idea for the Eggpire in this au was that Bad (Kohga-equivalent character; tell me that cBad DOESN'T fit this role perfectly i dare you), as a young member of the dwindling yiga clan post-calamity, once made the journey into hyrule castle to see for himself what remained of the Dark Lord*, and what he saw in the Sanctum was that big old fleshy cocoon- or 'egg'-looking thing where Calamity Dreamon was being held back by Prince Tubbo. Dreamon's consciousness was able to reach out to him, beckon him forward, tell him of the way that he has been wrongfully sealed, that greatness awaits those who embrace the Darkness, that he, Bad, could spearhead the revival of the Dark Lord and join him in his absolute rule over hyrule, if he could keep that blasted Knight from sealing him away for good...

and thus, Bad emerged from hyrule castle with a mission he would dedicate his life to: kill the Knight that wields the sword that seals the darkness so that his Dark Lord may regain his strength and hatch from his 'egg', reborn.

*fhdjsk this was how the yiga referred to ganon in the game right or am i crazy?? it's been so long since i played botw hhhough.

now, watcher elements that can be tossed into the mix? well, they get their name "watchers" because of the way they've scattered themselves across hyrule, watching for any sign or hint that the Knight may have returned. they're great with stealth when needs must, but when it comes to combat, they are ruthless. they fight hard, fight dirty. they seek to kill anyone who may oppose the way of the Dark Lord. im gonna make them a biiiiiit darker than they are in botw bc it's my au and i get to choose the vibe, but i promise i won't sacrifice all of the silly. the balance of goofy/lighthearted/fun and serious/grim/dark is integral to both LoZ games and MCRP series.

im thinking i'll reserve the "sinners" title for any watcher members who defect or show any sort of sympathy for outsiders. fun fact: WEMBM!cellbit is a sinner!! he was abducted by the watchers at age ten and made to forget his childhood through ritual magic and trained to be the perfect soldier for Master Bad and the Dark Lord. he was sharp as a tack and quick with a sword, and once he was old enough, he would have made a perfect addition to Bad's elite rank of watcher footmen.

until he defected. until he became a sinner.

he lives in Quesadilla (Hateno-equivalent) now. he's got a husband who he loves and friends in town that care for him deeply and an estranged twin sister living in Enderian Town that he swaps letters with, on occasion. he keeps his head down, he enjoys his quiet life of freedom, and he's totally not secretly aiding an anti-watchers organization called the Ordo from afar.

(did i make cellbit extremely backstoried in this au? you bet your ass i did. tbf qcellbit is also very backstoried and qcellbit lives rent free in my brain so sorry not sorry lol. also mentor-mentee hg duo makes me RGHRHRGHRGHGRRR.)

anyway, i'm thinking of having the kakariko village equivalent be called Essempi. eret will take impa's role, having been prince tubbo's advisor, one of his guards, and a close friend. who else lives in Essempi is uhh, to be decided. i think i should start making a list of characters who i already know the residence of (eg, Cellbit is in Quesadilla, Eret is in Essempi, Schlatt is on the Plateau...) so i can place other characters in locations.

one major issue im running into is my discomfort with assigning qsmp/dsmp characters---who are largely white/non-Japanese---as "Sheikah." feels like appropriation of some share or form. which means i'm going to have Essempi be just another Hylian town---unless i come up with another humanoid race. hmm, could do something with bad, tina, and mouse's shared demon-ness in qsmp. eret could definitely land in this category as well. (and while im still hesitant to put qforever into any sort of au because of. well. let's not get into that here. but if i put him somewhere, i'd put him in this group.) they probably wouldn't be called Demons, though. i'll think of something. either way, they'd have a connection to the "Sheikah" technology and would be close with the royal family, just like the original Sheikah of botw. (huh. i guess this makes tazercraft sheikah-equivalent. or well ig they don't have to be. my au my rules.)