#i have asked him abt this but he is a wall nd doesnt wnna talk abt it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ningningkittie · 9 months ago

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im in love w him not only bc of who he is as a person nd how drawn i am to his personality, but also bc i feel like he's the only one who has ever wanted to see me. who i am, like deep down. he's the only one who i feel like i've ever connected with, in an easy nd genuine way. the only one who i feel has ever gotten me. he's the only one who's ever made me feel like we actually have a connection we're both in on, bc i havent had to pretend or put up a fake front for him bc he wanted the real image of me.

#unfortunately he has his own shit to deal w #so bc of one thing that was actually a mistake from me #he misjudged it nd saw it from his own perspective nd didnt understand mine #nd thus concluded that he saw me wrong nd didnt actually know who i am #nd then he had decided that so strongly he wasnt wven open to hear me out or try to understand what that situation was for me #that made me very sad nd hurt nd like #he doesnt actually like me as much as i like him #bc i would always always ask him nd hear him out before jumping to conclusions #i have asked him abt this but he is a wall nd doesnt wnna talk abt it #nd i cant force anyone so... yeh. it is what it is #i wish that we had the connection where he wanted to understandwhere i was coming from #instead of being like ughshe isnt the perfect image that i had constructed #so now im writing her off completely bc she doesntlive up to my expectations #but... my heart just loves him sm i can look past that #however... that is meaningless when i dont even know what he feels for me nd i cant get an answer out of him #maybe he doesnt wanna tell me bc he doesnt return my love nd he knows i'llbe hurt nd he'll risk losing me as a friend #i'd never stop talking to him tho.. that is the worst part #if imginna get over these feelings #i need to hear it straight from him. i need him to tell me thatno i am not in love with you #then i need to never talk to him again nd never lookat his social media #then it will hurt a lot but after a year or so i will only feel empty nd not hurt when i think of him #but i am tooweak to be the one to stop talking to him now #my entire day revolves around him nd i know its unhealthy but idk how to stop #since this obsession is unrequited i dont actually wanna feel it #but i have no idea how to stop #god this is driving me insane wtf is wrong w me??

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