#both friends and strangers
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i had such lovely interactions with several people today 🤧💕 it was all so wholesome
#nothing too unusual just that everyone is so kind#both friends and strangers#and i got the best bear hug from someone i really like 🫠#so yeah. good day
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Decided to do with my anxiety what I did with my body dysmorphia ages ago which is to beat it with the affirmation stick until it eventually becomes a central part of my belief system. This round is "I am strange and I am loved. I may be misunderstood and that does not make me alone. I am surrounded by people who accept me"
#theres reasoning for this#like 'i am cringe but i am free' despite being incredibly memeable doesnt work for me#first of all saying it outloud can sound self depricating. and accidentally sounding self depricating#(something i rarely actually do)#makes me want to shrivel up into freeze fried weasel and hibernate for seveal hears#also the presence of the word 'but' presents these things as contradicory ideas. and i need them to go hand in hand#hense this sey of affirmations#the rule of three is good and memorable#the first statement says something about myself. something it is good and realistic for me to believe is inherent about myself#the second accounts for situations when that first one may feel threatened such as when i am misunderstood#using an AND here for those ideas that are NOT conteadictory is reslly important cor the syntax of my brain#being misunderstood does not say anything about me. it is a nuetral statement and i reminder of important truths#and these truths are easy to affirm if i get REAL spooked by touching base with a friend!#and lastly is something i want to believe about the world#.....i am a strange sort of person. i exist outside of a lot of cultural norms in a way i cant change if i wanted to. i dont want to#but having a hard heart or expecting harm and judgement from other people isnt good for me#and doesnt lend to good conversation#i want to enter spaces with the expectation that i will be accepted because i deserve to be accepted. that is the norm.#i want to believe that is normal. therefore i am making a statement about other people#both friends and strangers#they WILL accept me. and it will be easier for them to do so if i dont come in afraid of harm and instead open to conversation#anyways thats my logic! i wanted to externalize it and dont mind doing so publicly#i hope this may have helped someone <3#lush chats#anyways memorize and repeat these all the damn time. thats what i do. good mantras for grounding yourself.#i especially like to do affirmations when i look in the mirror. Spell of anti dissociation
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Wowza. Part one blew up way more than I thought it would so here! Part two! I do have more thoughts about this so there might be a couple more parts to come. We'll see ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Eddie takes half a second to consider just not answering. Maybe throwing his phone away and never going back to the restaurant they went to last night so he never has to confront whatever it is that's about to happen. Maybe even fleeing the country and living alone on a sheep farm with no friends and go relationships ever again so something like this never happens again.
But then he thinks of Steve. Kind, funny Steve with the bright eyes and soft skin who looked at Eddie like he could fall in love with him and he knows that whatever comes next, Steve deserves for Eddie to see it through with him.
New Message: Steve H.
Hey
Just that one word sends Eddie's heart into his throat. He can see that Steve is still typing, those little ellipses of doom popping on and off the screen. Realistically, Steve probably doesn't know what happened, right? Eddie's pretty sure Steve wasn't in on it and it's been less than an hour since Eddie himself found out, so probably not.
Steve H: Gareth called me
Fuck.
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.
If Eddie's heart was in his throat at the first text, the second one has it dropping through his body and out of his goddamned ass. It's not that he doesn't want Steve to know. He was always planning to tell him, he was just hoping he could be the one to do it. Gareth being a little shit and calling Steve first was not part of the plan.
Steve H: He told be about the prank. I'm sorry if I wasn't what you expected and you were just being nice. We can pretend it never happened. No hard feelings.
Eddie slams his head into his pillow. This is such a cluster fuck he can hardly bring himself to look at the text but he needs to come up with some kind of response, like, yesterday if he wants any chance of keeping the man of his dreams from running for the hills because apparently, Eddie's friends are trying to destroy his life. He takes a deep breath and starts typing.
Eddie: Hey, I'm so sorry about that. I just found out about what they did an hour ago at practice. I didn't think they would just call you out of the blue like that, I was just about to text you.
Not completely true, but Eddie was going to text him about it, just after screaming into his pillow and making a couple Vudu dolls first.
Eddie: For what it's worth I really do like you and I would love to still take you out on that second date, but I understand if my friends scared you off and you want nothing to do with me. I know it's fucked up.
It takes a minute for Steve to respond, the typing bubbles ebbing and flowing as Steve types and retypes whatever it is he wants to say. Eddie is about ready to call it a wash and start googling sheep farms for sale in Ireland when a new text comes in, dispelling all thoughts of learning to sheer wool.
Steve H: Are you sure?
And fuck if that doesn't hurt his heart. Eddie has spent all of two and a half hours with Steve, he's a virtual stranger, but Eddie can swear he can feel all of Steve's secondhand insecurity through that one lonely sentence. Before he even registers what he's asking, he send a quick reply.
Eddie: Can I Facetime you?
Before Eddie can try to rethink his decision, his screen lights up with a notification. Steve is calling him.
Eddie scrambles to answer, fumbling his phone a little in his haste and almost missing the call completely. He manages to get it on the last ring, breathing heavily in a way he knows can't be flattering.
All thoughts about his lack of dexterity fly out the window when he looks into his screen. On their date, Steve was perfectly put together. Hair meticulously done, clothes freshly pressed, and a light sheen of lipgloss accentuating the perfect curve of his mouth. While Steve is still beautiful through the lens of his camera, it's clear that he's been crying. His eyes are red and a little puffy, hair out of order in a way Eddie thinks is probably unusual for him, and Eddie can see that he's wearing a well-loved beige hoodie.
"Hi," Steve says, waving a shy hand almost the same way he had last night.
"Hey sweetheart," Eddie says, keeping his voice low and gentle, desperate to soothe Steve however he can through the distance of their phones.
For a minute they just look at each other, neither one knowing what to say in a situation like this. Eddie sees Steve gearing up to say something, but he cuts in before he starts. There's something he needs to say while Steve can see him face to face.
"I'm really sorry about what happened!" He says, much lounder than he intended. "My friends were being dicks. I haven't dated in a while and instead of being normal fucking people they set up this whole stupid prank but I swear I wasn't in on it!"
Something about what he says draws a small smile from the corner of Steve's mouth, so Eddie keeps talking. "Besides, if they wanted to prank me they should have picked someone that isn't a literal fucking model in disguise. There wasn't a chance in hell I wasn't going to beg you for that second date."
At that, Steve gives a little chuckle and it lifts Eddie's heart from where it'd fallen onto the floor and puts in back in his chest 10 times lighter than before.
"Jesus, are you always such a flirt Munson?" he says.
"Only when the boys are especially pretty," Eddie responds.
Steve gives another little laugh at that before sobering up. He gives Eddie a long look through the phone, and Eddie lets him.
"Are you sure you don't want to just call it quits here man? Gareth was pretty adamant that I'm not the kind of guy you usually go for. I don't want you to feel like you have to humor me out of kindness." There's a forced flippancy to Steve's words that Eddie knows well from his own Munson Coping Strategies Handbook. Steve is trying to give him an out, but Eddie can tell that he doesn't want to.
For the first time since this all started, Eddie is well and truly mad. Gareth and Jeff had absolutely no business poking around in his love life in the first place, but now they've reached out to the guy Eddie already told them he liked to what? Tell him never mind actually, we don't think you're the right guy for our friend even though he told us very explicitly how into you he is.
Eddie lets all the frustration, anger, and tenuous hope building up in his chest fuel his reply. This one has to count, he can feel it. It's a charisma saving throw with the whole campaign on the line. He can't miss this one.
"Honestly Steve, if you asked me two days ago what I was looking for in a partner, I probably would have said I wanted to date another alternative metalhead or punk who likes playing DnD and getting high on the weekend." Eddie can see Steve's shoulders slump as his eyes dart away, but he pushes on, determined to make his point.
"But, I haven't had as good a time as we had last night in a really long time." Steve looks back up, eyes alight with the same tentative hope Eddie himself is channeling. "I think you're funny and interesting, and you have the absolute worst takes on ice cream flavors, and you're hot as hell. Like, seriously the hottest guy I've ever seen in real life."
Steve smiles, the edges of his eyes crinkling.
Critical success.
"So, about that second date."
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Tag List
@wheneverfeasible @the-dark-hearts @sofadofax @wrenisfangirling @whatfinestandsfor @lilpomelito @raisedbylibrarians @ollyxar @mugloversonly @xxbottlecapx @hezaaxdexangelous @kimsnooks @that-one-gay-crow
#steddie#fanfiction#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#corroded coffin#This is kind of my first time writing real dialogue#so lmk if it sounds weird#if I do another part#it will probably be about steddie getting closer#while Eddie avoids his friends#and they both grapple with what it would mean to reconcile with them#dreamer speaks
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ravage is #1 personal space stealer and heater, 10/10 would recommend having him as an amica. usually he'd be sleeping curled around soundwave's head but the other cassettes are out harassing starscream on patrol, so soundwave's chest is free real estate
anyways send me asks with ur soundwave and ravage hcs and mayhaps i'll draw them soon
#transformers#maccadam#maccadams#transformers art#tf art#transformers fanart#tf fanart#transformers idw#idw transformers#idw1#idw tf#tf idw#soundwave#idw soundwave#ravage#idw ravage#i need to make more serious ravage posts again ive been too silly the past few months. far too silly.#i have a bunch of silly asks in my inbox rn which are very fun but i havent really dug into ravage as a character lately and i fear ive mad#her too silly. too sweet#need her to kill someone rq#i love the idea of her and soundwave being amicas but as the war goes on they become more like begrudging co-workers and it#genuinely is the worst thing that ever happens to either of them.#from strangers to friends to comrades to coworkers to a boss and his underling and it makes both of them so so ill#they reunite and reconnect tho no worries#havent been super active lately and probably wont be super active for the next while either. will get to stuff when i can but#agh
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Sorry, but I just had a thought and I’m exhausted and don’t know if I’m going to write anymore tonight.
Just Steve holding a slight grudge against Nancy after she pretty much calls his love bullshit in the bathroom. He feels lead on, he’s slightly bitter but he knows how to be discreetly passive if he needs to be. But thing is he doesn’t have the energy in him to be passive. If this had been before the monsters, and someone who he thought was the love of his life did what Nancy did and proceeded to end up dating the guy who she said not to worry about within days after getting into a fight, he would have probably done something stupid. Probably would have ruined her locker with mean words or something like that.
He wasn’t sure what he would do, he was exhausted and couldn’t think of what used to come easy to him. Or maybe he’s grown to realize how immature that was, how it didn’t even seem all that fun to do to someone. Just thinking back to spray painting slut on the theater makes his gut twist uncomfortably. Once, he used to be the one to climb up there and spray something even worst. Now the thought made him want to throw up.
And maybe the grudge he is holding against Nancy isn’t really a grudge. Maybe he has matured to realized that the grudge he held was within himself for how fast he had fallen. For how stupid he was for thinking the girl would ever end up with him. He should have seen the signs. How she defended Jonathan even after he took non consensual photos of him and her about to have sex. Which he still felt disgusted by, his skin still crawled uncomfortably around the little creep whenever he was close by.
Though when the time comes, he realizes he was holding a grudge against Nancy. When he falls harder for someone new he realizes within minutes that something was different about this one. Instead of smacking him in the shoulder and scolding him for staring to long, Eddie would pull his hair in front of his face with bright eyes. Would do something dramatic to snap Steve out of the trance he was in. Like lick his face instead of kissing him.
That was the other thing Steve discovered. In the moments where it was just the two of them, it seemed like every other minute time would stop and Eddie would be in the same bubble as him. Lost in the same spell that Steve had tumbled into, needing to kiss the other just as much as they needed oxygen to breathe.
Nancy rarely had those moments with Steve, and they had stopped right around the time she started hanging out with Jonathan.
And Steve does hold a grudge, for how she stayed with him longer than what she had to.
Eddie made him feel in love and loved. Whenever Steve watched the other man he could barely keep his hands to himself and the best part was Eddie didn’t care. Steve could bite off Eddie’s remaining nipple and the man would still let Steve do whatever he wanted to him. Nancy never trusted Steve and never earned Steve’s trust the way Eddie did within one week of knowing each other.
Eddie was the moon and Nancy had been the sun for Steve. The sun burnt his skin and left him blistered while the moon wrapped his arms around him and rocked him to sleep every night. While Steve worried about when the sun would explode, he never had to worry about the moon disappearing for to long. It always came back, no matter what happened. Even if Steve had been an asshole.
God was Steve in love. This was it for him. And maybe at one point he had loved Nancy just as much as he did Eddie.
But now, as each day passes he only finds himself falling more in love with Eddie Munson.
He slowly comes to the conclusion that his love was and will never be bullshit.
And when he finally sits down to talk to Nancy about it, he finally gets it off his chest. What had been bugging him for almost years before falling for Eddie.
“Nancy, we were bullshit. But my love, it was all real. Maybe not as strong as it is for Ed’s but I know that if … everything wasn’t such bullshit I could have gotten there.” Steve says softly to Nancy. Shortly after she confessed she still had feelings for him. He seen this conversation coming from a mile away, especially with how many one sided sparks happened between the two of them while running for their life’s on spring break.
And as he stands up, leaving her in her own shock. Letting her process that he was with Eddie, a man. He can’t help but feel proud of himself.
He didn’t intentionally hold this grudge, but he felt as if he got back at her the healthiest way he could. By maturing and moving on. And looking down at Nancy, he could tell that she needed time to do the same. Not to be with another man or date in general, but to just grow as a person. But that was no longer his problem. His problem was currently running up the steps of the trailer with what seemed to be a moving snake.
“Hey Stevie! Look what I found.”
Steve was in love, and it wasn’t bullshit.
#idk where this came from#also would like to clarify this is in Steve’s point of view#which means he is obviously going to be bitter with Nancy once he realizes some things#and he would totally be more disgusted with Jonathan for what he did#these are just two of the things that I’ve kind of never liked how season four treated Steve and Nancy’s relationship#because they both have matured so much only for them to both back pedal a bit#so im writing this as if Steve is aware how dumb getting back with Nancy would be#soft steddie#steddie#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#steve x eddie#strangerthings#steve stranger things#eddie and steve#Nancy wheeler#and don’t get me wrong Nancy would still be friends with Steve after#she just needs time#small drabble#a drabble of sorts
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I’m a firm platonic stonathan believer (and romantic but that’s not what this post is about).
And I love Steve and Jonathan being really friendly albeit awkward with each other.
But you know what I absolutely LOVE?
Stonathan who can’t STAND each other.
But would also go to fucking war for each other.
Some asshole is being a prick to Jonathan in school? The dudes suddenly thrown off of every sports team he’s on and the principal is fully aware of every time he cheated on a test. Steve just so happens to be at the high school that day to pick up the kids.
There’s some dickwad giving Steve a hard time at work every day? The guys windshield is busted in and car’s been keyed. Jonathan was totally just stopping by Family Video for a movie at the same time.
It’s just so funny to me. The idea of them both putting on this kind of mask around the whole group where everyone thinks they’re at least friendly with each other— the awkwardness is a given, honestly.
But then when it’s just them— getting high together or smth idk— they trade insults that would have anyone else in a ball crying.
And then them both slowly coming out of their shells around the whole group.
And the first time it happens Steve had called Jonathan a home wrecker and in turn Jonathan called Steve a whore.
Everyone was flipping shit trying to make them both apologize to each other before another fight broke out. But Jonathan and Steve sat and laughed at them.
Nobody ever gets used to their bitter teasing towards each other (nobody’s ever heard Jonathan use such foul language) but they learn to accept that that’s just how they are with each other.
This is kinda like a begrudging sibling-bonded stonathan.
This is also how I imagine madwheeler being btw. But I’ll make them their own post eventually.
#stranger things#steve harrington#jonathan byers#stonathan#but platonic#sibling bonds#they trade insults more creative then a middle schooler with a ban on swearing#and that’s saying something because they’re friends with mike wheeler#and eddie munson#but eddie’s allowed to swear#will is shook to his very core to hear jonathan say some of the stuff he says#nobody knew steve could be so mean#eddie finds it hot#nancy id attracted to jonathan in a whole new light#as is argyle#cause I like jargyle and jancy both
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i fucking love how max barely interacted with el before s3 to the point where she was confused that el even said hi to her but the second she told her about mike she was like “that lying piece of SHIT you do NOT deserve this i cant believe youre being treated like this DUMP HIS ASS!!!! ok now lets go shopping :)”
#they both were in such desperate need of a girl best friend#and max knew it but el didnt#i think ive posted something just like this before#stranger things#elmax#el hopper#max mayfield#byler#1k
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I made an unrelated comment in the tags of a post about Steve being close to Bob before he died and the other day, I made this post about Steve and Eddie trying to set their dad-figures up with Joyce.
So if you combine those two ideas, Steve is trying to get Bob a date with Joyce but keeps getting thwarted by Eddie is trying to do the same for Wayne.
Steve is giving Bob advice on how to be cool, and the right number of times to run your hand through your hair, and what girls like because, “Joyce is a babe and she’s nice all the time. She deserves to be romanced.”
Eddie is trying to get Wayne to wear the jean jacket he gave to him last years. It’s decked out with patches and pins, and it’s, “Totally metal, Wayne. It’s badass and so is Joyce Byers. She’s divorced and had a missing kid, and she deserves to have fun.”
In the end, Steve and Eddie developed a rivalry that’s getting flirtier by the day and Joyce ends up with Hopper. They’ve got that whole bonding on trauma and conspiracy thing going on, and they’re cute together even if they are too shouty.
It’s a bummer for both of them because Steve and Eddie really did just want their father-figures to be happy.
They want that a little less when they run into each other at the hospital and discover Wayne in the chair next to Bob’s bed.
#Jopper is one of two reason why I started watching Stranger Things#they gotta stay together#Wayne and Bob get together and Bob makes a joke about Steve and Eddie being brothers#and they both decide that fathers are overrated anyways#Steve: you’re more like a wayyy older brother#Eddie: I think of you as more of a friend Wayne#steve harrington#eddie munson#wayne munson#bob newby#stranger things
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Nico saying that Lewis gives his daughters boxes of presents every Christmas just got caught in my mind.
Imagine you were a mixed race boy born in Hertfordshire, different from everyone else around you. Bullied in school, being raised by your father to compete in a sport where money is very much of essence and you and your family do not have a lot of it. And then you meet this other boy who comes from the kind of life you dream to live one day. You're friends and fierce competitors. You find solace in each other. You visit Monaco for the first time with your friend, dreaming up the life you will have when you make it, when you beat out of the mould that the world thought it could capture you in.
And then you two grow through the ranks and you're at the pinnacle of your sport and you have what it takes to win and the world recognises that you can win. And you win. You win with your friend and fiercest competitor by your side fighting with you for those wins, and this fighting ruins something something that was valuable to both of you when you were still innocent and unsullied by life.
But despite everything that went into the doing and undoing of this relationship, you still realise that this person you once called a friend has a life and family beyond your bitter dynamic. He has children, and children need love and affection and good memories. And you're a better man now so you understand that. So you make sure the kids get gifts on Christmas. And you make sure of it every year. Afterall, if you met someone you loved deeply when you were both kids, wouldn't you feel a pang of nostalgia when they had kids. Wouldn't you try to extend the warmth that you couldn't find for your friend to his children. Afterall, whatever happens during childhood basically remains with you forever.
#and nico's perspective of the same is just#being bullied as a child and being profoundly lonely till you find this friend who is in many ways the yardstick for performance#and even when you go through all this rancidity and the love has almost evaporated down to bare bones politeness#you know there is something that remains deep down#and so he gets your kids Christmas gifts each year#both their childhoods were sites of pain and both of them found something with each other#and lewis honours that by being a positive presence in nico's childrens' lives#albeit from a distance#and of course we're no strangers to how much Nico loves his kids#you can bet if Lewis had kids Nico would do that same#sorry this caught in my heart a little#I knew he had been giving presents for a while and I always thought of that as very beautiful but seeing it on the tl made me remember#man#love haunts you in such peculiar ways forever#brocedes#lewis hamiton#nico rosberg#f1#formula 1
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pro hero!kirishima x reader | angst?, fluff, childhood friends→lovers, best friend!kiri my beloved, 2.8k (apparently??) | cw: cursing, reader wears a dress
-eighteen, and heartbroken, you ghost your best friend. years pass, as do old feelings; coincidence brings you back together again-
They say old habits die hard, your heartbeat rings true.
It's been years—six, at least. Since you've seen Kirishima. And he's still there, in the library of things you've loved, thumbed and beloved, worn at the spine where you once folded the pages, one over the other, carelessly. Always carelessly. As if they'd stay the same through all the wear and tear. You were—careless—after all, eighteen, and foolish, feelings too big for your heart.
But that was okay. It always was, with him. Wherever you wanted to go, whatever you wanted to do. He was happy as long as you were—and so, so good to you; it was childish of you, but you almost wished that he wasn't.
Maybe it was some kind of teenage rebellion that you pushed it too far. Some kind of lashing out, 'getting even', that you kissed other boys, pretended be head over heels in love with anyone, everyone, but Kirishima. Because you did—love him—and not in the way he loved you, you were sure.
Because if he had—really had—he would have hesitated, would have hurt. Wouldn't have vetted your dresses, or wiped the smudge from beneath your eyes. Wouldn't have told you how pretty you looked without really looking at you at all. Wouldn't have drove you to meet other boys, or dried your tears when they made you cry, like all of your other friends did. The kinds you didn't want to kiss. The kinds you imagined a future with, but not with kids and a dog and a white picket fence.
It was obvious for you, came natural as breathing, you'd known him your whole life. Skinned knees, and awkward school dances. Your very first kiss, though it meant nothing at the time. Just kids—curious, and reckless, and definitely not in love. You thought it'd be like that forever, made sense that he'd always be at your side; maybe that's why it hurt the way it did when, suddenly, he just wasn't.
That awkward boy—indecisive and boisterous, good natured and yours—Kirishima. Eijirou. Who earned his first bloody nose at the age of ten, defending your honor over something juvenile and stupid, who walked you home every day after school, hand in yours, always; (for safety, of course), who left half of his belongings on your bedroom floor, in your closet, atop your dresser—hoodies and gadgets and pens, chewed at the cap. That Eijirou—your Eijirou—would always, surely, make his way back to you, right?
But he doesn't.
When summer ends, he leaves—your school, the little town you both grew up in,
—and you.
To do something good, to be something more. And he was. And you were proud of him, so proud, to see him grow and become the hero he always dreamed of being. But maybe that scared you too, because suddenly your Eijirou didn't feel so much like yours anymore.
He's gone with hardly a notice, returns with all the confidence in the world—a completely new person in a matter of months. Red hair and a smile like summertime sunshine; your heart skips, cheeks flush, a name is put to the feelings you've felt for as long as you can remember, for the very first time.
But nothing's changed, not for Eijirou, at least, who still spends his vacations beneath your parents' roof, within the four borders of your bedroom, crisscrossed legs and laughter that sounds just like it always has. But it hits you—when he speaks—how much things have changed for you. The stories he tells, the friends he's made and the things he's experienced. They're his. Just his.
And it shouldn't bother you. That you don't know the name of his homeroom teacher, or what he packed for lunch last week. That he doesn't know about all the evenings you've spent alone, or how you broke into tears when that cute senior boy asked you to the yearly formal, because Eijirou had promised—pinky promised—all those years ago, that he'd be the one to take you.
But that was before he had training, and internships, and hero obligations; things far, far more important than you were, you suppose.
But it shouldn't bother you, right? Shouldn't hurt the way it does when he packs his things from your room at the end of summer. You lose him bit by bit; pens and gadgets, and comic books you bought for him every single birthday, without missing a year. He takes your ("his") very favorite hoodie—red and worn at the cuffs, a tear up the side where you wrestled him to the ground, at age twelve. Some petty fight you don't even remember, and how you didn't speak to him for a week; that felt like a lifetime, then.
You've half a mind to ask for it, know for sure he'd offer it happily, though you're not sure you have that right anymore. You no longer share his life, after all, and he doesn't share yours; it's not until you're older, much older that you realize just how hard he tried to make it work anyway.
The weekly calls and the long drives back home to just see you for a month, a week, a day. How he gets his license, at eighteen. Rushes home from an internship to drive you to the little ice cream parlor at the edge of town.
You're crying, over a boy—though your heart wasn't really in it. How could it be, when it's been checked out since the age of six? When the more years that pass, the more you fall for your very best friend, the stronger his absence becomes, the more bitter your heart grows. You're crying, over a boy—but not the one who stood you up.
You're just, frustrated, that he's oblivious to it all. Still. And so damn nice about it—always. That's he's perfectly content to dry your tears, has the audacity to tell you that guy was an idiot, totally unmanly, that 'any man would be lucky to have you'.
But not Eijirou. Never Eijirou.
And for the first time, you think you hate him. For missing the hearts in your eyes, and growing up just fine, without you. For talking like it's totally fine if you end up with someone that isn't him. And vice versa.
That he reaches for your hand on the way back to his car, like you're still just kids, and it means nothing at all.
—and that you let him; as if it means nothing to you either.
But fuck, it does. Always has. And maybe that's why you justify it, when you disappear after graduation—a new phone and town, and a future that doesn't include Eijirou. Kirishima. The way you're convinced he wanted; he's always been fine without you, after all.
It's petty and it's childish. And it's hard—like turning a page you've been stuck on your entire life—but you do, and the world doesn't end without him, like you thought that it might. You're fine, not even all that sad. Just a little empty for a while.
The years pass easily, as do old feelings and the ache in your chest. You get busy. With work, and hobbies, your dreams and hopes and aspirations. You don't have the time to dwell about what could have been.
At twenty-two, you fall in love, and it doesn't last. But not because there's someone stuck in your heart, like a thorn that just burrows deeper. Life happens, and you pull apart, naturally—like adults do—communication, and mutual agreement; the way you wish you'd been mature enough to handle your feelings all those years ago.
Maybe you'd still have your oldest friend by your side, then.
Somehow summer sneaks up on you, everytime—the third week of June, when you visit your parents in the same little town that's always changing. Streets busier than ever and pavement redone, ice cream parlor on the edge of town gone and replaced with a brick and mortar grocery. It makes it easier, you think, to not be reminded of Kirishima—and the way you left without so much as a goodbye.
You haven't forgotten him, far from it. Somehow you still find yourself in the comic section of the bookstore every October. But at some point, you forget his favorite foods and the way his hand felt in yours. When you see his house across the street, you think of his mother instead, and the way she greets you every time, like you're her second child. Her 'favorite', you used to joke.
It's bittersweet.
Six summers, and you manage to avoid him. Six summers and you come to terms with never seeing him again. Six summers, and he's there, suddenly—beneath your parents' roof, within the four borders of your childhood bedroom. Your heart beats like it might burst.
"Kirishima," you say, choking down your surprise with deep, careful breaths.
He turns to you then; four wooden borders squeezed carefully between two strong hands. The scar above his brow is baby pink, barely there, and he stands a little taller, you think, feels a little broader at the chest, and around his shoulders. You've seen him on tv, of course, in the news, in pictures, occasionally, but it's different—seeing him in person, after so long.
A true proper hero, standing there in your childhood bedroom, holding an old photo you'd all but forgotten about; two kids, faded ink and scuffed glass—hearts in your eyes, if he happened to look closer.
"Hi." His voice is a little deeper, smile a little softer when your eyes meet.
"Hi."
You feel a little helpless, truth be told. You'd spent so long avoiding him, so many years forgetting the casual conversation you'd once carried. You never considered what to say, if you were to meet again, never thought that you might. But here you are, after all this time.
You want to tell him you're proud, you think. The way you couldn't bring yourself to all those years ago. Want to tell him that you're sorry, for more reasons than one. Want to tell him he looks good, that you got the job he always said you would, that you worried about him, from time to time.
Instead, there's a tentative—"What are you doing here?"—that sticks in your throat.
As if it matters.
"Ran into your parents at the grocery," he answers, casually, "they asked me to stay for dinner."
And yet.
He sets the picture face up—where it once lied face down, forgotten in the eaves of your bookcase.
He's here; in your bedroom. Looking through your things, like he missed you.
You wring your hands together. Return the feelings you start to reach for, instinctively. A little book in the library of things you're predisposed to, catalogued under: Getting Ahead of Yourself.
"Are you?" the words are eager, the pages fall loose. You catch them, before he does. "Staying for dinner?"
It takes all of three steps, (you think it might have been five, once), for him to make his way from the bookcase to your bed. It creaks woefully when he sits, "Would that be okay with you?"
"Yeah," your voice nearly betrays you, "yeah, it would."
His shoulders unwind, chest falls. He breathes—easy. And then he laughs, boyish and yours.
"What's so funny," you gravitate towards him, naturally, suitcase forgotten at the door. The bed dips at his side and your shoulder playfully bumps his, "huh?"
The corners of his mouth crease at the edges, aged deep just like yours. "When did we become so boring?"
You hum—almost melancholy, picking at the splotches of red that still stain your comforter. "It's been six years, Kirishima."
"Yeah," he says, a little more pensive, "you look good."
Your heart skips, cheeks flush. Suddenly you're sixteen again, and pawing at the hem of your sundress, searching for his approval from the corner of your eye.
He's not looking at you, but it's different this time; or maybe it's exactly the same, and he's always been this way. Maybe you were just blind to it, sixteen and oblivious to the hand that wrings itself around the back of his neck, the red tinge that burns his ears.
But honestly, probably, you're searching for subtext that doesn't exist. Still, "So do you," the words come easy, "saw you at that award ceremony—on tv, I mean. Couldn't believe that was my Eijirou."
His head dips, eyes shimmer red; sweeter than wild strawberries. "Your Eijirou?"
'Yeah." You feel a bit self conscious, truth be told, though you've said it a hundred times. "Aren't you?"
His smile spreads like a yawn, from the depths of his chest, suddenly there and unshakable. Contagious—what was his, now yours as well. "Always have been."
Your chest tightens, every beat of your heart hammering at your ribcage. You still love him, after all this time. "How long will you stay?"
"Until dinner, at least."
"No, I mean," you sigh, heart spilling to your sleeves, "how long will you be in town?"
"I,-" It's lethargic, the way he blinks, throat bobs, smile falls, slow and pensive and so unlike him, "I moved back a while ago." Surprise washes over your face, rests in your brow, and he answers, before you have the chance to ask, "it's been two summers now."
You're not sure what that feeling is, gnawing at your heart and making you sick to your stomach—
"I'm sure you knew I came to visit," your voice is a murmur, eyes misty and searching for an excuse to meet everything but his, "you could have said 'hi'."
He hums, an almost sigh, "Wasn't sure you wanted me to."
—Guilt, that's what it is. It plummets, and swells, until you can feel it in your throat.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be." A warm hand falls over yours, fingers curling—friendly, reassuring. You appreciate it for what it is. "I get it."
You've loved him for so long, known him for even longer, turned every page until the ink began to wear. But for the first time, you think you can see his heart bleeding between the lines.
"You're not doing that, don't you dare blame yourself, Kirishima Eijirou."
"You were lonely, weren't you? After I left for UA," his jaw goes rigid, every bit of shame clenched between his teeth, "should've tried harder to make it work, could've visited more often, could've taken an internship closer to home, could've,"
"—said," you click your tongue, stern as can be, "you're not doing that."
You pinch the corner of his sleeve, rolled red fabric over strong arms; he doesn't flinch at the coaxing, instead he turns to take your shoulders between his hands, "'m sorry."
You wrangle them from you, lying his palms at your lap, squeezed in between your own. "Damnit Ei, you didn't do anything wrong," you know for certain that he would've packed you in his suitcase if he could, would've dragged you along to every course and internship and oh-so-important hero happening, but you had your own life to live—and so did he. "You were following your dreams, who am I to get in the way of that?"
"My best friend, my other half, besides," his shoulders square, chest puffs, all brawn and ego and Eijirou; but his hands tremble unsurely, "I liked you," his wavering voice is still confident, somehow, confession long overdue, "and I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear from me after so long, but," his hands leave yours to worry his hair, all finely gelled and pushed back, now tousled and falling softly at his forehead, "I didn't want to regret it for another six years."
You feel like you're drowning, pulled under a tide of feelings new and old. Confused, and euphoric, and so, so stupid. He liked you. He liked you and you never had a clue. The irony makes you dizzy.
Your head breaches the surface, and finally you can breathe, deep and burning lungs expanding, expanding, and trembling—a stream of salt and water hits your cheeks and falls past your lips. Eijirou is quick wipe away the tears, a palm at each cheek, wide eyed and worried. "Hey, hey, I'm sorry. Please don't cry, okay?"
You laugh and his expression eases, shoulders falling and fingertips thumbing softly at your skin. "Don't worry, Ei. I'm happy," you sniffle, fingers wrapping 'round his wrists; his pulse stutters at your index and you smile, "I liked you too, a lot," at age six, at eighteen, the year before last, and the year after that, and, and, "I still like you, I think."
His smile blooms, face brightens like sunlight in the peak of summer, warm against the tips of your fingers.
"Can I take you on a date sometime?" he asks, like it's the easiest thing in the world; maybe it always has been.
"Yeah." Your heart beats, a page turns. "I'd like that."
#best friend!kiwi and dilf!kiwi both live in my head rent free no other version sorry 😌#(me lying. knowing damn well my first ever and most beloved bnha wip is a strangers to lovers with kirishima and ex!bkg djfkhds)#kirishima#eijirou#bnha#bnha x reader#mha x reader#kirishima x reader#kirishima x you#x reader#x you
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for your own good; leah horlick / diary of luke castellan / the lightning thief / the titan’s curse / boyish; japanese breakfast
#thaluke#pjo#thalia grace#they make me go insane for real#something something about them and best friends to strangers who want to kill each other#both made each other so violent it’s so AAAH
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Soundtrack to Disaster
Chapter III: I Carry You Around
masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev
song(s) for this chapter: roam the room by citizen, drunk ii by mannequin pussy
a/n: i forgot how hard it was to get a new story going, but we’re movin!! please enjoy this lil chapter while i work on the new one :p also! thank you guys for 200 followers that’s kinda crazy for me on this site. 🥳🎉❤️
summary: you need some help recalling the events of last night
chapter tags: drinking/drug (weed) use, description of throwing up (reader), swearing, reader has a lot of nicknames (to avoid using y/n), slight angst, big game of telephone. | fic tags: Angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU | This fic is rated 18+ MDNI
disclaimer: I do not consent to having my work fed to AI engines, or reposted in any way, shape, or form on other websites. Unless otherwise stated, this is the only account that features and contains this work, and any replication was done without my consent. Please let me know if you see my work elsewhere. Reblog to support the author!
tag list: reply/message to be added! @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotinie @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj
-
“Hey,” Robin pokes you, still snoring constantly next to her on the air mattress. “Hey, wake up! I’m starving!” she shakes you lightly, and you groan. “C’mon, Benny’s is never packed this late. I’m buyin’.” Your eyes flutter open at the mention of her treating you.
“Okay, okay. I’m awake.”
“Oh, good. I was beginning to think the last vodka sprite killed you.”
“It probably should’ve.” You squint, attempting not to let too much light in before you know the status of your hangover. You blink a few times, focusing solely on not sitting up too quickly. “Alright, I think we’re in the clear. Bacon sounds so good right now.”
“Is she up?” Steve calls from the kitchen, over the clatter of bottles being thrown into the recycling bin.
“Yeah, I’ve tempted her with free food.” Robin giggles, following your lead of slowly exiting the blow up bed. “Will the Insufferable Bard be joining us on the breakfast quest?” You regret the words after they leave your lips.
“Is the evil queen asking little ole me to tag along?” Eddie practically skips into the living room, way too chipper for your hungover brain to handle. Steve has the balls to snicker. “I’d be absolutely delighted to accompany you to dine for breakfast, Highness.” He curtsies for emphasis.
“Never mind, actually. I just remembered I’m needed somewhere that, um, not here.”
Eddie tsks at you. “Ah, no take backs. Shall I get your coat?”
-
Fluffy diner pancakes and greasy bacon can and do save you. You moan as you shove a bite full of syrup and pancake into your mouth, met with similar responses as your friends devour their food. You can feel Eddie staring at you from across the booth.
“So, did I sleep through all of the cleaning?” You ask after swallowing. “I promise that wasn’t the intention.”
Steve shakes his head, sipping his coffee. “Actually, you did most of it last night. You don’t remember?”
You squint, as if trying to see the blurry memories in front of you. You remember playing beer pong, and then losing beer pong. You remember bits and pieces of conversations with Robin and Steve. You remember Chrissy running out of Steve’s bedroom. Then nothing. “Huh. Guess not.” Usually you only black out when you’re angry, but you can’t remember anything viscerally upsetting happening to you. Not consciously.
Steve shrugs. “Weird. Nah, we let you sleep. It was hard enough getting you into bed.”
You feel your cheeks burn. “Sorry, Steve. Guess I can’t hold my liquor.”
“Nah, I didn’t do anything. Eddie pretty much took care of you.”
Your blood freezes in your veins, draining quickly from your face. “What?”
Steve places his mug down, and Robin throws her arms in the air in defeat and disappointment. “What? What did I say?”
“Seriously, dingus?”
Eddie’s gone silent, silverware long abandoned on his plate. “You promised you weren’t gonna bring that up.” The words are muffled behind his hand.
“I did?”
Robin slaps her palm to her forehead.
“What the hell is going on?” You look from Steve to a red cheeked Eddie.
He sighs. “Sorry, princess. Guess your knight in shining armor’s an ogre.”
You’re gaping. Not a single part of this makes sense to you. You and Eddie haven’t been that close in years. “Aren’t you already Chrissy’s ogre though?”
Eddie’s eyes narrow, irritated as he shoves a bite of toast into his mouth. “That’s none of your business.”
You raise your hands in surrender. “Okay, shit. Didn’t know you were so sensitive about it.”
“I think I’m lost here.” Steve interrupts, leaning over Robin to reach for the syrup.
“Can we move on, please? I don’t feel like talking about this.”
The response is an awkward silence.
“Thank you.” Eddie says, mouth full of bread. You surrender, for now. You make it a point in your head to find out more. It’s only fair, you reason, I was there too.
—
“Chris, you home?” You call your brother as you enter your apartment. Guitars are blaring from the back of your house, loud enough that he wouldn’t be able to hear you. You wander down the hall, checking the empty bathroom and kitchen on your way. “Chris?”
“Hey, Bug!” Chris calls from the spare-bedroom-turned-studio, turning his stereo down. “C’mere a sec, need your opinion on something.” You follow the sound of his voice into the room, taking in the sight in front of you. Chris has sprawled himself out on the floor, a skateboard deck dismantled in front of him. “Can I ask you something?” You lean against the doorframe, observing your brother.
“You just did.”
You scoff. “Can you remember anything from last night?”
Your question stops his movement. “Uh, maybe. Which part?”
“It’s spotty after midnight. What happened to me?”
Chris turns to face you, and you move to sit in the office chair across from him. “Well. You still can’t handle your liquor.”
“Oh, c’mon. I had, like, three drinks.”
“Yeah, and you got your ass beat in beer pong. I know you hate it, but beer still has alcohol in it.”
“Oh, shut up. Tell me what happened!”
“Okay, but you can’t get mad.”
“I will not be making any promises.”
-
Last night (as told by Chris)
You stumble into the kitchen, on your way for yet another refill, but you’re stopped short by the solid torso dawned in old leather, reeking of weed. “Man, roadblock.” You Look up to find Eddie looking down at you, eyes curious, joint in hand standing next to your brother, blocking the cooler. “Move aside, dweebs.”
“Hey, Bug. You okay?”
“Hm?” You try to focus on Chris’s face, squinting hard, as if you’re looking directly at the sun. “Yeah, ‘m cool. It’s bright in here.” The lights aren’t even on.
“No, she’s not.” Eddie’s eyes are fully trained on you, concern written plainly on his face. The kid likes to party, but he knows his limits. You, unfortunately, cannot say the same. You rest against the sticky counter, but immediately retract at the sensation, breathing shallowly through your nose. Eddie can see the panic in your eyes when they linger in space for a second too long.
“She’s gonna puke. Move, I got her.” Eddie sprints to your aid, leading you down the hall by the waist, draping your arm over his shoulder, and into the bathroom. “Eddie, ‘m fine.” You slur, completely unconvincing. The bathroom is empty, thankfully. The party’s been over for a while, but you’d slammed quite a few without hesitation tonight, and Eddie thinks, perhaps, he had something to do with it.
“Hey, I got you, c’mere.” Eddie holds your hair back as you crouch in front of the toilet, the only thought going through his head being “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”, while he reaches with his free hand to wet a washcloth. When his back is turned, you let it rip, and he rushes back to your side, placing the cool cloth against your clammy forehead. “Feel better?”
Your face screws tightly in concentration. “Gettin’ there.” You string the words together, like you’re too afraid to open your mouth any wider. “Thanks, Ed.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“It’s not like we’re friends.” You flinch after you say it.
“Maybe not, but I know too-drunk-to-stand when I see it. Wasn’t gonna let you try to find your own way here.”
“Or you’re secretly in love with me.” You tease, voice strained.
“Okay, now you’re talkin’ crazy. C’mon sweets, it’s bedtime.” He dodges your comment, eager to get out of there.
“Nooo,” You whine, and Eddie smiles dopily at you. “I’m not tired!”
“Doesn’t matter. You stay out here, you’re destined to give yourself alcohol poisoning. C’mon, we can go set up your bed downstairs.”
“You tryna suggest something, Munson?” You tease, wobbly as he helps you stand up.
“What would I be suggesting?” You shrug. You must not have a clue what you’re saying right now. “Did your brother tell you something?”
“What? No, I’m kidding, Eddie. We don’t like each other, remember?”
“No, you don’t like me.”
Your resolve seems to slip, but only a little. “I have my reasons.”
Eddie nods. “Yeah, I know.” He stands up, and offers his hand out for you. You grab it, using it to pull your weight up from the ground. “Okay, prince charming. Whisk me to bed.”
“As you wish, princess.” He helps you get back downstairs, and into the already prepared air mattress. “Your throne awaits.”
You giggle as he guides you down, staying parallel to your body in case you lose your balance. You make it unscathed though, and he brings the blanket up to your chin. “Here,” He pulls an unopened water bottle from his back pocket. “Lemme get you a bucket or something, I’ll be right back.”
“Wait,” You reach out and grab his hand. He looks at your face, the way your eyes are already half closed like your eyelids weigh a ton. “Can you take them off?”
“Excuse me?” He chokes.
“My boots. They’re hard to take off.” You point to your feet, sticking out of the blanket and clad in heavy leather.
“Oh, yeah. ‘Course.” He clears his throat nervously, busying his hands with the buckles of your shoes. By the time he slides the second one off, your head has hit the pillow, and you’re snoring peacefully.
—
Present day
You feel your stomach drop, much akin to the way it must have felt last night. “That did not happen.”
Chris shrugs, like it’s nothing. “Maybe I got some details wrong. After he got you to bed he was freaking out. I don’t get why you have such an issue with the guy.” He shrugs, turning back to his board.
You furrow your brow at him. “Are you being serious?” He whips his head back to you, confused. “Remember? He got you put in prison?!”
He stares back at you, blank faced. “What are you talking about?”
“He ratted you out, Chris! Testified against you! Snitched! I know I blacked out last night, but c'mon! You were in the room when it happened!”
“Oh, my god.”
“What?!” You’re beside yourself, absolutely at a loss. “Chris, don’t tell me you forgive him for that.”
“Beebs, my beautiful, innocent, cherub of a little sister. You have no idea what you’re talking about right now.” Somewhere in the distance, Chris’s phone is ringing, and your vision goes white.
“What does that even mean?!” Chris ignores you, picking up his cell. “Chris!”
“Yo,” You can’t hear the voice on the other line. “Hey, man. Relax. No, she’s good. Alive, thanks to you probably. Kinda pissed, though.” He looks to where you’re silently seething at your brother. “No, I didn’t say shit! I just filled in some blanks from last night.” You can hear Eddie on the other line, voice frantic, but you can’t make out what he’s saying. “Okay. No, I won’t. But you have to.” Long pause. “Yeah, you do. I thought she knew!” He waits. “I don’t care! She has every right to, actually! I would be pissed, too! Figure it out, dude.” He hangs up and looks back to you. “Eddie has some explaining to do.”
—
#st#fics#munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x oc#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#angst#slow burn#enemies to lovers#friends to lovers#both i guess idk#sdf#willow writes sins#stranger things#eddie munson fanfic
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Realistically speaking, in a Hunger Games Stranger Things au, Jonathan Byers would be Katniss Everdeen.
#i am 100% serious#i could write am emtire essay but basically#their family structure is the same#will and prim are the same#and jonathan would volunteer as tribute if will was ever picked for the hunger games#both have prickly exteriors and struggle making friends#and nancy could make a decent peeta they are both financially better off and have families that are distant with each other#nancy is also a good strategist#hopper is haymitch especially when it comes to father figures with katniss and jonathan#anyway if u guys want to hear more about this or qant clarification i can give it#like theu arent the exact same but jonathan is the closest to katniss u can get in the st universe#jonathan byers#stranger things#katniss everdeen#jancy#everlark#byler#< target audience
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wayne never trusted the suburbanites of hawkins. he’d been fine with them before, but once eddie started living with him, and he heard the way their kids spoke to his, he quickly turned his back.
when eddie came home crying because some girl called him a freak, or hid his bruised wrist behind his back and insisted he’d fallen over, he would say, some kids just follow their fathers, ed, there ain’t nothing you can do or not do about it. just count your lucky stars you’re smarter than them. it was a small comfort but the best he could do without his voice cracking.
so when nancy wheeler, robin buckley, steve harrington started showing up, packed into a beemer the boy had been bought at sixteen as a ‘starter car’, he had been nervous. buckley was okay, she wasn’t so prim and proper, and he’d heard enough stories about wheeler’s gun storage from eddie to see through any facade of manners. but harrington.
harrington was different. he stared at eddie whenever he laughed loud, or changed his voice, or gesticulated wildly. he smirked softly to himself when eddie referenced dnd.
he was the embodiment of hawkins.
when the four of them tumbled through the door together, laughing and nudging each other in a scramble for the sofa, wayne stood from his chair and left. he couldn’t bear to see his boy mocked all night by someone pretending to be a friend.
(what he didn’t notice was the way steve soaked up the sounds of eddie’s laugh, trying to work out how to be the one to cause it; or how proud he felt when dustin’s reluctant tutoring paid off and he could understand a nerdy comment.
steve harrington was in fact the antithesis of hawkins.
because he loved eddie munson.)
#stranger things#steddie#you can read this as romantic or platonic tbf#like steve would probably find his individuality freeing and love him for it even as friends#steve harrington#st vol 4#wayne munson#eddie munson#wayne munson best father figure#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#they both know btw#too smart not to
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the thing is the sanctity of pstobin’s friendship soulmatism cannot be touched on to me. robin is NOT allowed to have come out to anyone before steve. steve is NOT allowed to have a best friend his age when he meets robin. there should NEVER be a witness to their bathroom scene (it is sacrosanct). they need to be at peak pathetic losercore at their time of meeting otherwise they wouldnt merge at an atomic level the way that they have. they need to be at their loneliest so that their bond is that much more important!!!! okay
#txt#this was in my drafts i dont remember making it but in all aspects of my life i feel it. i was right for this#eddie cant be robins gay best friend pre-scoops she Cant. i feel like the show kind of implied steve was the first person she came out to??#dont take that away from them 🥺 its such a defining moment for them both#they are both so sad and pathetic like wet kittens huddled together in a cardboard box (you have to adopt them together)#stranger things#pstobin#stobin
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Edgar electric dreams edit because I watched the movie and I love him actually
#he deserves the world#that or im just the biggest sentient ai/robot/object supporter I know#(its both)#(i wish ai was sentient id make so many friends)#edgar electric dreams#electric dreams 1984#electric dreams#edgar electric dreams 1984#1984 electric dreams#my edit#movie edit#80s movies#electric dreams edit#edgar electric dreams edit#ethel cain#strangers ethel cain
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