#don’t have much to say. they kinda just exist
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1. I really just don’t like how you shit on Chloe in your Au considering that she is technically the Main character now because of her having the ladybug earrings.
2. As for unlikable characters exist. Yeah they do but they usually don’t have a really good back story.
Thomas give her a sad backstory, took that away and made her worse ??? It makes no sense. Especially if it was supposed to be a unlikable character. her backstory isn’t an excuse for her actions but yall hate her for the actions and at the same time don’t want her to change.
(Not only that but he ended replacing her with a very boring and rushed character like Zoé.)
Basically what I’m saying it’s just weird for yall to hate a character that much.
I think it's really weird for y'all to be so defensive of a fictional person, yet here we are.
Perhaps you were mislead because her "hero" form was the title of the AU, but uh, Scarlet Lady was never about Chloe. That's why she didn't, like, grow or anything and why we left her several times to focus on Adrien and Marinette. Having the Ladybug Earrings does not automatically make someone the main character, she's the tritagonist at best. And canonically, she's just a side character with too much screen time.
But even if she was the main character, so what? Scarlet Lady's tone is comical, it was never going to go deep (except in the Finale, kinda) and Chloe was never going to get the 5 Hour Youtube Essay Deep Cut in Comic Form about the Wonderful Person She Had the Potential to Become that viewers like you seem to be craving so badly.
And we fundamentally disagree about Chloe's backstory. It's not a good backstory, it's pretty basic, not even entirely unique to Chloe in the very story it's stuck in, and removing it changes nothing about her or her personality and motivations in the long run. It's used as a weak excuse that's only brought up at random to the point where even canon doesn't buy it anymore.
Though I'm not sure why you think that unlikeable characters can't have sympathetic backstories, the point is usually that despite going through the worst and despite the fact that it's entirely possible if things were different for them that the character could've been someone entirely different (and therefore "likeable"), none of those things erase the things they've done or make them more likeable. It just makes them kinda sad on top of it.
But that doesn't really apply to Chloe since taking out her garbage birth giver still leaves her with Andre who did a good job ruining her all on his own.
Anyway, sorry for the rant, but to wrap it up, sorry you don't like how I do things around here, no one's keeping you here if you don't wanna be faced with it or whatever.
#guys when will you all understand that I don't hate Chloe#I hate *Gabriel*#I love Chloe the way she is - and the way she is is insufferable U_U#you guys are the fake fans who don't love her for the menace to society that she is imo#ok anon#btw these tags are like 95% sarcasm
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i don’t like how almost the entire fandom is on jimmy’s ass but loves curly. while jimmy undoubtedly did worse things, curly PROTECTED HIM. you cannot stand there at your computer and type straight-faced about how ‘jimmy is a horrible monster!! ...but curly could treat anya sooooo well’ like HUH??? this game is NOT about how jimmy is the worst person alive ever WITHOUT also the message of curly being AT LEAST half as bad.
because HE KNEW. and i think this is also beautifully represented through his design. he chose to turn a blind eye to anya’s struggles, HE CHOSE TO NOT SEE, and then, after the crash, he found himself with one eye constantly open, FORCED TO SEE. and by god did he see. he saw, first-hand, how protecting his absolute bastard of a friend led to the death of the entire crew and their prolonged sufferring. i saw one person suggest that the scene in which swansea kills daisuke could be from curly’s POV since it aligns perfectly with the hallway and the look he would get of the scene.
so curly, who once always protected his friend and turned a blind eye to his misdemeanors, is now forced to see these terrible events unfold firsthand. because guess what? it’s about half of curly’s fault for these events jimmy creates. because he could have prevented so much if only he wasn’t part of this toxic culture of males protecting each others from the consequences of their own actions.
now before i get any angry comments or reblogs: i do not despise curly. i do not even despise jimmy as a character. i condemn their actions 110%, ESPECIALLY jimmy’s - but i think they’re such deep and shockingly real, raw depictions of humans that not only could, but DO exist. as concepts and characters, i admire wrong organ for their bravery to create them into existence - and i hate them as people. again, they are representatives of the toxic culture males have in which they protect each other (“my buddy couldn’t have raped/SA’d/etc her because i know him and he wouldn’t do that!!” etc etc.) and it is so upsetting but so necessarry to witness this. i just wish the fandom would be willing to witness it fully, not just go “FUCK JIMMY” “so sorry you had to draw jimmy” while simultaneously pushing out curly x reader or saying shit like “curly just wanted everyone to be happy :(” “curly would treat anya better” etc etc.
this is such a raw and real story once again ruined by a fandom whose minds are rotted by hehe hot man, toxic yaoi, and amatonormativity. and yea that sounds funny when you read it but so many of the messages of the game are ignored in favor of all the above. i’m tired of it!!!
TL;DR: i condemn both jimmy AND curly’s actions and i think that you guys should not give curly a pass for protecting jimmy. if you’re going to call jimmy a horrible fucked-up monster, acknowledge that curly enabled him time and time again. also stop shipping people this is Not That Kinda Story ffs (from a tired aromantic)
#hoowee thats a lot#anyways#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#wrong organ#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing jimmy#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing analysis#game analysis#long post#my rambles
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Flower mimic dragons/drakes
#art#digital art#ibspaint#my artwrok#rose#white roses#dragon art#lilac#lilac flowers#Rose Drake#Lilac Drake#don’t have much to say. they kinda just exist
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i don’t know if i’m ever gonna write the fic but i’ve been thinking abt like. the eternal stockade. the implications. lup, a lich who was trapped in a dark featureless cell for a decade completely isolated with nothing to keep her sanity but her own mind. she has to put people in the eternal stockade. how many liches does she see herself in. how many liches started out just like her. how many liches are truly too far gone. and the only liches we ever see other than her and barry are edward and lydia. they’re certainly evil, but mad? they seem pretty sane. they’re not, like, tattered echoes of souls, they’re definitely still people. even as much of a grudge as lup surely has against them, wouldn’t they remind her incredibly strongly of herself? do they deserve to be trapped just like she was? for eternity? isn’t eternity what turned john to existential despair in the first place?
#mine#taz balance#taz lup#lup#like idk i think lup’s down to kick necromancer ass but when it comes to being like. WARDENS of a PRISON. would that not be uncomfortable??#but like taking the job is the only way to avoid HER being thrown in prison??#idk the raven queen being a cool & chill goddess boss is definitely fun but when you actually think abt it#i don’t think i’d agree with her. i think if i lived in that world i’d think she were sort of evil#which like also to get into the hunger vs authority its not very explored because its not at all the point#the hunger is meant to be nihilism and despair and dissatisfaction its at its core an emotional story about joy & love#but like john starts out rebelling against laws. laws of the universe; except that it turns out a being wrote those laws (jeffandrew)#so the hunger is also sort of a force of rebelling against unjust constraints in the pursuit of freedom?#and the heroes end up preserving the status quo and saying you just have to find joy within those unjust limitations#which again. like. the point is that life is unfair and you can find joy and meaning despite it. which is true to real life.#i’m not saying the hunger was right or that despair is the only way or w/e like#yk like taz balance is not a story about society its more about. philosophy i guess#the point is that life’s really hard and you find meaning anyway and that’s preferable to despair and death#thematically for the audience we understand these are standins for ways of viewing reality#and in the real world reality is what it is. its just the world. there’s no authority that writes the laws of nature#like its not a ‘man vs authority’ story its a ‘man vs nature’ story#but IN UNIVERSE nature IS an authority. jeffandrew and the gods. regardless of how much joy you can find in an unjust world#if i lived in it i’d want to make it more just! but anyway like yeah barry & lup working for the raven queen#is kinda an extension on that idea of preserving the status quo#although i guess you could say gods are just forces of nature. theyre not PEOPLE theyre just personifications of existent natural laws#and it ties in w istus and fate as well#although fate is like a comforting guiding force rather than restricting & horrifying#^ pay no attention to any of this i don’t think it really means anything i’m just like. writing thoughts as i have them#not like a hard stance i’m taking just exploring some ideas#any ways#THERES A TAG LIMIT??
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guys genuinely i’m both excited and terrified the dhmis pilot will be shown in full again because . first off, never before seen (by me) content, and we don’t get that a lot in the dhmis fandom. possibly new characters, dialogue, etc!! second, THE CREATORS DONT EVEN LIKE IT AND HID IT FROM THE PUBLIC AFTER IT WAS SEEN ONCE WHAT IS IN ITTT😭
#i know a couple reasons is that it’s not the direction they wanted to take and they thought they could have written some things better#BUT FROM HOW LITTLE THEY’VE TALKED ABOUT IT..#AND FROM SO LITTLE WEVE SEEN#im honestly scared there’s gonna be a moment or two that is just not good at all and possibly shockingly bad (for me at least)#but tbh. they are kinda really smart at making things and i don’t think they’d fuck up that bad#STILL WHO KNOWS.#also like mari im terrified of seeing morgan in HD#MORGAN DOESNT EXIST (delusional)#i actually don’t care too much about morgan it just. surprised me is all 💀#anyway i’m actually mostly excited and i’m hoping we’ll get to see the full pilot in HD or someone will actually record the whole thing#like i said in the reblog i’m mentally preparing myself for a “he would not fucking say that” moment#anyway see y’all when it airs#for later#☎️#dhmis#don’t hug me i’m scared#dhmis wakey wakey#dhmis pilot
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I’ve always entertained the idea of Nesta going full on evil because she already has a compelling backstory that makes a villain relatable, understandable, these things could push her to extremes to fight for change but not without questionable choices, I mean, she has the cold, unflinching, cunning attitude down, bonus sexy points. She fights for humans, fights for women. But why not make her evil in the process.
And then there’s Feyre with her own backstory but she has that innate compassion, both are fighting for change, have a common enemy, but Feyre has lost faith in Nesta, wants to see her nurturing future come to fruition without burning everything to the ground.
Hmmm I’m just compelled
#yes this is about jinx and ekko#anyways#let’s say it ends badly#yes they don’t make up#the feyre I imagine isn’t as a much goody goody as canon either#she resents nesta for turning this way almost hates her#maybe nesta mourns their lost relationship but she will stop at nothing#craving seeing my nesta actually burn everything to the ground#yea this would have to be au maybe with some canon compliant details#l know feyre in canon kinda forgets about humans but let’s say she’s as convicted about their safety as much as Nesta#they could both remain humans me thinks#or idk 🤨 just word vomiting here#idk where elain fits in this#she just doesn’t exist lmao
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Btw I’m actually a little behind on the pjo series so I’m only on like. Episode 5. But I’m getting to the end of it and I just wanna say I love Annabeth so much I love her and I love Leah Sava Jeffries they’re both incredible
#chatter#pjo tv show#pjo series#annabeth chase#riordanverse#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#leah sava jeffries#shes an adorable little girl and a pretty great actress!!#it’s just like. like wow. look at her go! look at her grow!!#kinda spoilers here so look away if you don’t want them but like. it’s only episode five. it’s the very first adventure they have together#we all know how annabeth and percy and grover grow throughout the whole series and everything but this is still the very first one.#the start of all their adventures and all their changes and all their growing#and it’s like. maybe more towards the middle of the quest now? i can’t remember fully#but they’ve only known each other such a short while and already he’s inspiring her#and shes outright saying it!! outright shes saying that his belief in fairness and belief in thinking they can and should be better#has made her realize the same!! that families shouldn’t treat each other so terribly! that parents shouldn’t be neglectful!#that the prices they’re forced to pay shouldn’t exist at all!!#idk how to word it really. but i love how even if percy is a pessimist. even if he’s cynical. it’s because he knows things SHOULD be better#and how he’s able to make everyone around him see how much better it can be too#and annabeth. who was one of athenas favorites. who ran away at such a little age that the way these things are is#the only thing shes ever really known. is able to hear what he says and realize he’s right. is able to say no. no more i agree with him.#like. shes sorta the golden child in a way because she gets attention and her little hat and everything.#shes one of the favorites. and shes willing to give it all away!! shes willing to say no!!#shes willing to give up that favored status for saying that it should be the standard! the bare minimum!#anyway. im sleepy and i wanted to say annabeth chase is such an amazing character. i love her.
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I already said this but if u make Aisha the tallest in ur fanart i hate u a lil
#i was gonna say tallest and buffest#and that’s true bc I still hate u a lil#just kinda less bc she’s implied to be the sporty one#but also It’s so so easy for y’all to masculinize black women#and It’s weird bc nobody every talks about how her role growing up prevented her from doing much#so even tho she’s super sporty now build wise it should be swimmer/dancer#and again I understand the liberation of women through musculature that’s literally where I’m at rn#but i don’t think y’all get the type of battle it is for black woman#‘but blank’ u say ‘the racial breakdown on magix is not the same as irl’#‘but random person’ I respond ‘racial dynamics exist irl and impact how we view our media and as early as s1 episode 12 Rai dub winx has#shown it’s not exempt from showcasing racial bias - that’s the Afro episode.’#anyways my point is#i get it and it’s not like I hate Black ppl racism#It’s more like that bath and body works accidental kkk racism#Steven universe in general#a lack of black ppl who know their shit in the writers room#and by the writers room I mean you#Ur tablet#Ur drawing of how big buff Aisha towers over dainty lil musa#who’s subversive bc she gets afforded the character trope of gremlin#well she’s still victimized and did nothing wrong in any of her relationships but she has sharp teeth in her wide grin so rlly it evens out#and aisha is. therapist friend.#no wait! she makes a sassy comeback bc Stella’s being vain!!#and then she’s stroking Musa’s hair and telling her ni- Oop men ain’t shit she don’t need no man!#aisha will just fill in :)#ok that last bit is a lot more venting frustration like that’s less to do with fanart and winx and more how racism bleeds through fucking#everything#so main main point is. stop being white?! enough!! also a lot of y’all can be semi normal about flora bc even tho she’s Latina it’s still hc#territory and y’all see her as like. white with an extra oomf. so the stereotypes y’all usually push onto Latinas are impossible to push w/#plus the way she’s written doesn’t have the leeway that the way aisha is. they both get whitewashed just the same tho sad
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hey, just. friendly reminder that fanfiction is morally neutral.
yes, that includes smutty fics. yes, that includes self-insert fics. yes, that includes the fics you consider Problematic TM and the fics you don’t think are Smart or New. in fact that’s kind of why I’m writing this post.
I know we all love to talk about Themes And Narratives, but—and please listen to me very carefully here—you are not earning Good Place Points for only reading the kinds of fan fiction you feel are Smart or Only Focuses On The Important Things Like Themes.
fan fiction is morally neutral.
what I mean is this: no one is harming you, themselves, or anyone, by writing a fic about two characters having sex. (are you uncomfortable with the fact that I typed the word “sex”? hi, this post is about you. people have sex. and they write and talk about it. it’s seriously fine.)
no one is being harmed by self insert fics, by smutty fics, by anything not exclusively Smart TM about the fandom or analytically adding to it.
(and that’s not to say these two types of fics, that any type of fic, can’t have those elements— some of my favorite fic authors, my mutuals, my tumblr friends, write fic in these genres, and they also explore Themes and Emotions and analyze character traits and histories and write brilliant plots and incredible character arcs and yknow what, it’s amazing! it’s fantastic to examine what makes two characters react a certain way to x situation while also having them fuck nasty about it!) (and yes, I did just type ‘fuck nasty about it’ and I promise, that’s fine, too.)
what I’m saying, though, is that it doesn’t NEED that to, I dunno, somehow validate it into existing. it just Is. it just Exists. it doesn’t need an aspect you Approve Of TM in order to earn the right to be shared, to be written, to be published and commended and interacted with and read. it just. Is.
and I think a lot of especially younger, or newer, tumblr users especially get uncomfortable with that, and they unintentionally veer right (..ha) into self-censoring, puritanical behavior which is exactly what every person trying to ban books and generally kill art, wants. (and we’re not even going to examine in depth here, beyond mentioning it, the fact that policing, censuring, and banning art has historically and still today is being used to silence marginalized voices, so, I ask you to keep that in mind as you think on this, too, please.)
what I’m trying to say is this—if you personally don’t enjoy smut, don’t enjoy self insert fics, don’t enjoy a certain genre, that’s great, you do you! but, you must, must understand that this is not a moral stance. You are not objecting to a problematic practice, exploited workers, consent issues, labor crises… none of that applies, because no one in these stories is a real person. a story written about two Star Trek characters kissing on the bridge of the Enterprise is just that, a story. there is no actor for whose rights to fight, no wages to dispute fairness of, no ethical ramifications of scenes to discuss. these are Fictional People in Fictional Situations.
fan fiction is morally neutral.
and the moment you try to make yourself feel Better TM, More Correct TM, or—one of the ones I encounter the most—Smarter TM, by saying oh, I don’t read that kind of fic, I read the good kind, with thought in it—
you’re not only causing harm, you’re actively employing art censoring behavior. is that something that you want to do? I hope not. I certainly don’t.
next time you see a fic or a genre you don’t Approve Of TM, please remember the easiest way of exhibiting that— simply scrolling by or blocking a tag! If you’re on ao3, their system is incredible for niche content searches, and blocking a tag even here on tumblr will (most of the time) work.
I just., there’s so many better options out there for you than to… act like this. I believe you, we, all of us, can be better than this.
fanfiction. is. morally. neutral.
#my words#personal#saw one too many posts of people being ‘oh haha no I read the GOOD fanfic the SMART kind yknow’ and being so pointlessly self congratulatory#like babes there is so much joy in media content once you stop feeling shame or moral superiority about it#I just. had to put this out there#especially because like. so many. soooooo many. of the people who say those things. are just. so thinly veiling actual like bigotry beneath#‘oh haha I don’t like ship fic’ to ‘well actually it’s just slash fic’ to ‘gay people having sex is gross’ see what I mean. it’s a pipeline#the ‘smut fic is gross lol’ to ‘actually talking about sex at all is bad’ to ‘hi I’m anti choice’ pipeline is. more real than u might think#and I say this as someone fucking raised in all the problematic bigotry. but like babes you cannot flourish like that sorry!#anyways it’s just like. so much of this is just thinly veiled censorship biases or self discomfort unexamined or latent prejudice#and it’s so pointless too like babes smut fic has existed since ever you are not going to stop it from existing now#and in general hating on a fic is just.. kinda pointless! there’s so much fic in the world you can just go find the kind you enjoy instead#anyway let’s hope this one does not break containment 🫣 I have walked the puritan walk I do not need them heckling me lmao#fanfiction is morally neutral
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Manufactured SEEDs
Basically, the concept is that SEEDs once served as a “positive” force meant to permanently remove or separate negative emotions that were deemed unnecessary.
(I wish I could elaborate but I don’t really know how) (I wanted the idea that “SEEDs” have always existed or something unique to Fragaria Memories without being inspired to anything if that makes sense?)
Assuming that SEEDs existed during the time of Legendary Red, what if “Legendary Red” made the SEEDs but backfired and twisted the story that they saved the world of Fragaria from the SEEDs.
Maybe the SEEDs couldn’t be completely destroyed for whatever arbitrary reason, and the Strawberry King took responsibility to guard the last remnant of existing SEEDs left from this world of Fragaria?
Eldritt’s purpose is to keep the origin of SEEDs and the truth of Legendary Red a secret.
<- But at the same time, what good is keeping the truth hidden(?)) “To keep the world idyllic”(?) (How would revealing the truth about Legendary Red and the SEEDs affect the world?
(Maybe we can connect this to time loop theory(?)) (Do you think Halritt wants to keep the world happy by all means necessary) (and time loop is his only answer)
Do you think their existence evolved during their entrapment by the Strawberry King? They’re indiscriminately trying to feed from negative emotions because of this insatiable hunger they had for who knows how long?
How did they escape? Why did the Strawberry King disappear?
Lovers to the same lies— Protectors to sanctity, memories to sanity Red-splattered puddles dye into black I, the shadow to which you belong … strangers to the flesh. Fumbled darkness, the pitch-black mold. A stiff neck … Unable to turn. (Clocks unfortunately twist … A head rolls down.)
Edlritt - “What only needs to be known is that…” Eldritt - “We both want the SEEDs eliminated.” “So, Merold, as long as the motivation exists—we will both be quiet.” Eldritt - “Is this clear enough for you?"
#fragmem#time to ramble in the tags again haha...#holostarsEN lore is crazy but basically the world “elysium” exists as a solution/digital world in the pursuit of peace and perfection#abandoned humanity and “record corruption” is basically a terrible disease that leads to death if i remember correctly(?)#and “corruption beasts” are similar to SEEDs but don’t remove memory#if i remember correctly the people are either “players” or “NPCs”#we live in a digital world digimon digimon#honestly i kinda forgot mid-thought about what i wanted to elaborate on but i think it was the theory that knights earn their forms and nam#i think i wanted to connect it to the possibility of what could be the lore of fragaria memories’s world#like maybe it is a digital world?#i like the idea that world was dying but was saved by the strawberry king and the lords#what if magic was only made as a countermeasure against SEEDs?#Merold - “To destroy the sin within you I will thoroughly humiliate and reveal the truth one by one.”#Merold - “So I’ll keep playing Halritt.” “A smile just like this! Where nothing seems out of place.”#“SEEDs are the original sin” will always be stuck in my head#to eliminate negativity is to embrace death#maybe that is the purpose of a SEED?#to become pitch black or free from color because nothing exists within a void(?)#i wrote to myself once that i wanted merold to have his the holy grail of eris moment#merold - “kirikikirikuku” (eldritt awakens)#its such a good story… im too much of a sucker to villainess stories…#my dark timeline is that halritt tries to create a peaceful world to prevent the SEEDs but this backfires and halritt becomes a tyrant#i want him to die by merold’s hand like a sick joke instead of a SEED#the people you tried to protect now fear or hate you#Merold - “You’re a small man who is bounded by his appearance.”#Eldritt - “Oh but Merold—Aren’t you also the same if we apply it you?”#Merold - “And who’s to say I’m spared from my own words?”#Merold - “An executioner is not exempt to his own blade.” “I intend to do worse to you and the same to myself.”
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I have to get my wisdom teeth removed here on the 4th and I really wish medical anxiety wasn’t so dismissed or laughed at.
The anxiety has been slowly ramping up since Christmas and now that I have to cut out the only thing that’s managed the fibromyalgia bs. I mean sure it’s just weed. But when my health tanked and I was throwing up half of everything I tried to eat and losing weight like it was nothing. Unfortunately it was the only thing that helped stop the vomiting.
I’ve been put on and taking off several medications over the years for being the unlucky type that doesn’t react well to different meds. All the gut pills they wanted me to take hurt or was you know making me digest my own blood.
The Fibromyalgia began creeping in when I was in high school and the doctors I had told me to eat pills and go away. I had injured my knee and it just didn’t get better. I still have issues with it. Being a childhood cancer survivor means health complaints must be cry’s for attention or drugs.
They asked me to not consume any weed because they don’t know if it’ll hurt me to be put under so they can cut out the heavily impacted teeth. Which fine, I won’t fight because they could label me as some sort of user or drug obsessed or whatever. But the only drug that I know can kill you while being put under is meth.
My sister’s dental surgeon said don’t stop smoking weed because there isn’t anything out that supports either side. Pro weed or anti-weed before surgery. He didn’t want anything to add to the stress of the surgery so he said keep doing what you’re doing.
#disabled homemaker#just some thoughts#too much anxiety#i just wanna cry#how do you stand your ground against people who are so quick to label you as some sort of druggie#they argue with me when I say painkillers make me sick#I’m not asking for special treatment just for straight answers.#it’s made worse when I get eye rolls for saying my health issues started before I started smoking#I’m not asking you fucks to smoke with me I’m asking you why#how do you even begin working with an anxiety type that is triggered by medical professionals? why are drugs the only fucking answer?#I was diagnosed with leukaemia at 4.5 years old. my most important years of development#have been dominated by adults who kinda treated me like a fucking animal who couldn’t understand a lick of English#or ignored because she only misses the treatment she use to get as a child.#because I love being talked over like I don’t fucking exist or I’m just crazy#I just love the sneer I get when they read cancer survivor in my charts and suddenly I’m the paragon of health#even though I’ve been asking for help for most of my life because I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t keep up with the other kids.#because the cancer is gone you can’t possibly have any other health issue ever because that’s a direct insult the medical professionals#to insinuate that they couldn’t play god and make me magically so healthy that chemotherapy couldn’t possibly leave behind issues.#no that only happens to adults because children are supposed to be rubber and bounce no matter what#just ugh#fuck the medical system#medical anxiety
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Also despite last post and the fact “damn my tumblr has a lot of dumb first impression opinions but I keep them up anyways” I was looking at kikaider on my search cause tags are easy to find of my post, saw one of my rants and went “let me just *press delete button*”
#meg text#there’s probably more but oh my god can me a year ago fuck off#was I kinda right in some ways? Yes. But was I being harsh? ABSOLUTELY#I feel so fucking bad I ruined this show for people like GRAAAAAAH#ITS GOOD ITS JUST NOT PEAK BUT THATS OKAY ITS NOT MID EITHER#ITS JUST FLAWED YOU CAN HAVE GOOD CONTENT THATS FLAWED#it won’t change anything but this is one of those things I’m absolutely embarrassed to talk about to people because of the past#and there’s probably more posts I need to look for and delete but depends if they popped up in the tag honestly#this is what happens when I got into something at the wrong time ifg#cause I was forcing myself to watch it and that never helps (which is why I’m being slow with literally anything rn)#cause damn! Idfk what I wanna watch!#also I’m obvs not tagging but I will say I don’t like the sequel shows as much but I’m not salty anymore#the first one is a weird sequel at worst but a good adaptation- the crossover just exists#also my “this needed to be longer” aaa comment is so fucking stupid cause it LEGIT COULDNT BE#ESPECIALLY DUE TO HOW MUCH BUDGET THEY WERE GIVEN BUT IT WOULDVE BEEN A ACTUAL SLOG IF IT WAS LONGER#the recap ep existing though will always be what killed the pacing a little but like- yeah no this needed to be 12-13 eps#people need to stop making the notion short shows can’t work it all depends and this show shows both what you should and shouldn’t do
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don’t really want to elaborate but those ‘you’re going to hell’ posts really just show me how strange my outlook on life is
#like the concept of heaven and hell are so far removed from the individualistic sense of self to me#and I’m happiest when this is the case. when I incorporate more eastern ideals of unity with the rest of humanity rather than#punishment and reward. which is hopefully obvious as to why we don’t like thinking about it that way bc it’s just shitty#but I’m also learning to see them as extensions of life here on earth; not actually happening here but like. as a soul thing#and having an existence that spans more than just the material and it makes life a lot more liveable#but thoughts like these also shape how I think about death. to me death is still a continuation#and life is less about hey I’m suffering and it’s unbearable and more am I working on unity of humanity and kindness to myself?#like am I preparing to build heaven or to destroy it?? and there’s so much I can do within that#but I’m well aware that I done actually know how to exist without that sense of purpose and the belief it’s gonna succeed#like there’s nothing else to life to me. and in a way it makes sense that I’m on tumblr#jokes on them I’ve been talking about tumblr missionaries (decolonial) and actually doing shit while people complain#hey yeah I’m referring to a specific post you’ll find it#don’t like reblogging things with hell mentions though that’s shitty imo and I know we’re used to it but it’s traumatic#cw hell#cw religion#and I kinda talk about suicide in the tags but not really#except for now. when I say I have no way of telling if I’m actually suicidal bc it’s never conventional for me#but on the upside of that I can reconceptualise life and death until it’s bearable and maybe that’s enough#personal mental health tag
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don’t mind me I’m just reminiscing? thinking about the past?
#was thinking about how I don’t think I’ve ever gotten exactly what I wished for for christmas growing up#like the only time I can remember is when I was 12 and my parents got me tickets to one direction#but besides that like I’ve never gotten anything I specifically asked for on my lists#so I just like stopped asking for things and would tell people to get me whatever they think I’d like#idk makes me kinda sad ;/#whew and let’s not forget the shared gifts I’d get from other family members#since me and my sister are only three years apart they’d get us one gift and the same applied for our birthdays at times too#ridículos#here’s the catch though I’ve noticed that she’d get better gifts for any occasion where gifts are a norm#bc she’s like white and my family practically praised her for just existing#I doubt it was intentional but all the colorist comments growing up really fucked with me for a bit 😅#anyways how I got from never getting what I ask for to colorism who knows#anyways just thinking bc like since I’ve turned 18 my parents stopped getting me like gifts with any effort? on Christmas Eve to day (depend#ing) they’ll tell me that my gift is a <<shopping spree>> and no it’s not an actual shopping soreee#what they mean is they want to take me to get two outfits for the workplace#like it’s nice but it’s not what I want????#so I just give up and say ok thank you so much!!!! bc I’m a people pleaser and I know they’re trying and they think they’re doing what’s#best but it’s not to me at least#and I know it sounds like I’m bratty and like what parents get their 23 y/o gifts anyways? and I should be lucky that my parents are even#caring enough for all that and that I have a good relationship with them and what not#and I should be grateful for what I have#which I am I definitely recognize all of that it’s just that like idk#I’ve never actually felt seen by anyone? like no one’s gotten me things based on what I say I like in conversation#idk if it’s just me as a person but I remember what people tell me they like and hold onto it for future reference#idk whatever it’s not a big deal I work now and make my own money I can get the things I want#sorry for ruining anyone’s holiday cheer or any good vibe#personal rant#personal
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I wanted to make this post because we don’t see a lot of asexual characters in western media and despite him being from a hugely popular show (Seaside Hotel) you’re unlikely to know of his existence if you’re not from Denmark.
His name is Hjalmar Aurland and he’s one of the more sympathetic and realistic asexual characters I’ve seen. He lives in a time and place where asexuality as a concept doesn’t exist yet so he’s never labeled as such but rewatching the show made me realize that he acts exactly like the asexual people I personally know. Asexuality can mean a lot of things but his specific brand isn’t naive to sex nor is he repulsed by sex, sexual desire or thoughts simply doesn’t come naturally to him.
He can be convinced to have sex with his wife Helene but only if she appeals to their emotional bond. Just so you don’t get the wrong idea, he’s not being forced or emotionally blackmailed to sleep with her. It’s simply that he understands sex is a way to show emotional love too and he wants to express that love for Helene when it’s important to her, and seeing as sex isn’t unpleasant to him, just kinda boring, he’s willing to do that for her.
Unfortunately that isn’t enough for Helene and despite her love for Hjalmar she starts an affair with the dramatic and emotional actor Edward Weyse. He has a string of relationships, marriages and divorces behind him because despite what it may look like from the outside Edward doesn’t really want shallow sexual relationships. He just can’t help himself and keep falling in love with women left and right, fully and wholeheartedly, only to be dumped or dump them once the initial excitement has passed.
So Helene and Edward’s affair that was only meant to satisfy their carnal desires quickly becomes romantic. Helene feels torn between him and Hjalmar who she still loves and Edward understands the difficult situation they’re both in while also feeling jealous of Hjalmar. And Hjalmar? He doesn’t catch on for years. He’s not stupid but his brain just doesn’t jump to sex. He just assumes they’re good friends and why shouldn’t his wife be allowed to have friends, even male ones? Things get really complicated when Helene gets pregnant and she has to have sex with Hjalmar so he won’t wonder how it happened. Edward even has to join in on the seduction, reminding Hjalmar how much Helene loves him, even though it breaks Edward’s heart to do so.
But like I’ve said Hjalmar isn’t stupid. He saw the signs but chose to ignore them until one night when Helene accidentally says Edward’s name. It breaks the dam in Hjalmar’s denial and he has to face that deep down he always knew. Overcome by sadness and betrayal he wanders off into the night in nothing but his nightgown and gets a room at a different hotel where he can think in peace. Eventually he agrees to return to the first hotel with Helene and Edward and decides to take control of the situation.
He sits them both down and tells them that he understands that the three of them share a bond and that there are things he can’t really do for Helene so from now on he wants their relationship to be open and honest. He wants Helene and Edward to keep seeing each other and Edward is welcome in their house, but Hjalmar wants to be allowed to call Edward by his first name and makes it very clear that Helene and Edward’s children “belong to him” because he still thinks of himself as their dad and loves them as his own children. Both Helene and Edward agrees to it, though the emotional Edward is very flustered and confused by the acceptance and love he’s being shown by Hjalmar.
This is obviously a very tv drama situation but I was so stuck by how much Hjalmar acts like my asexual friends. Having a lover for your partner isn’t the most common solution but it’s an idea I’ve heard a lot of asexual people be open to under the right circumstances and of course that’s the most dramatic solution for a romantic tv drama.
Hjalmar is defined by so much more than his sexuality though. His main characteristic is his passion for social justice and equality, and other than some early show weirdness before they really cemented the characters, Hjamler is the only character who floats freely between the men and women. He’s just as likely to sit with the men as he is the women, often appearing in otherwise entirely female spaces. It’s never questioned or even brought up, not because he’s a “safe asexual” but because he cares and think their worries are as important as the men’s. He’s often called a pessimist by the other men when in reality he is determined to be hopeful and compassionate and spread the love he feels the world is lacking as WWII draws closer.
So yeah, I just wanted to share this sweet ace guy with you because you probably wouldn’t have known about him otherwise.
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why am I haunted by this fucking guy from first year
#apparently he was talking to one of our mutual friends abt me! which is fun!#like man you were the one who disappeared for a year and a half#talking to her abt how we had the briefest most awkward conversation after a lecture like two weeks ago and I didn’t ask for details#bc I’m not doing that. but clearly was not good! bc friend was being fucking weirder than normal abt it#and I am honestly getting kinda sick of her too <3#he just pisses me off so much bc the ball was entirely in his court bc he specifically asked for that#and what he does is disappears COMPLETELY after like a month of fucking me around and saying some honestly kinda fucked up shit?#i dont WANT to see him!! this is why people doing your subject are a bad idea but goddamn he’s just everywhere#he keeps sitting close to my friends and he came to ice hockey and he makes me act fucking weird bc I don’t know what to do with it#and he just Keeps staring at me#only when he thinks I’m not looking#:/#I don’t have time for this rn I’m trying to be normal abt his existence and I was being normaler but my friend just told me that and GOD#it’s okay I’ll complain abt it with my other friend tonight he’s great#just. seriously fuck this guy and fuck my friend she’s really frustrating me recently#if mr asshole wants to talk to me he can put on his big boy shoes and actually make an effort#luke.txt
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