#also my “this needed to be longer” aaa comment is so fucking stupid cause it LEGIT COULDNT BE

[no1ryomafan]

Also despite last post and the fact “damn my tumblr has a lot of dumb first impression opinions but I keep them up anyways” I was looking at kikaider on my search cause tags are easy to find of my post, saw one of my rants and went “let me just *press delete button*”

[artificialqueens]

A Secret No More (Bitney)

AN: After seeing Bianca’s instagram post showing a text between her and Shangela this story popped into my head. To see the text go here https://www.instagram.com/p/BTCy_gqhlSQ/

A Secret No More

Shane knew he shouldn’t be feeling this way but he can’t help it. The jealousy is pouring out of him, and it’s all he can think about. A big part of him wants to pick up the phone and tell Roy just how he’s made him feel, but he knows he can’t do that. He knows that bringing this up with Roy will only lead to him telling Shane he’s just being silly. And he already knows he’s being silly. It’s not like that text message was anything but a joke. Only Shane can’t take it as a joke, because he can’t be that way with Roy. He can’t share their cute little text messages or post his favourite pictures of the two of them together. He can’t do that because they’re a secret. A secret they have been sharing for over three years.

Shane had thought of it as a bit of fun when they first got together. It was thrilling to sneak around behind the other queens backs. It was exciting and it made Shane feel alive. It was all fun and games until Shane went and did something stupid. He fell in love with Roy and brought feelings into their arrangement. At first he didn’t tell Roy how he felt, but the older queen quickly sensed something was wrong and forced the truth out of Shane.

They had been in some hotel in god knows what state when Roy pushed and pushed Shane until he broke down and admitted he was in love with Roy. After the words left his lips Shane sat on the bottom of the hotel bed with his head in his hands waiting for Roy to tell him he didn’t feel the same way. Only Roy didn’t do that. Instead the older queen got on his knees in front of Shane and with all the passion in the world, he kissed him. They kissed until their lips were raw and afterwards Roy confessed his own love for Shane.

It was after that they called themselves a couple. They did things that other couples do. They went on trips together, hand romantic nights out in fancy restaurants. They even had boring nights at home where Roy would sit sketching himself a new dress while Shane lay on the bed beside him while they watched documentaries about glamour stars from the 50’s. They did everything ever other normal couple would do, but there was one thing they couldn’t do. They couldn’t tell anyone they were a couple. Even after Roy moved to LA, and they were secretly living together. It had became exhausting for Shane. He had to study every picture he took before posting it. Looking for any sign that they shared a home together. They even had their own rules for posting pictures. Shane could take pictures of himself in their guest bedroom and the kitchen while Roy posted pictures from their living room and their bedroom. And the sad part of their rules was that Shane remembered them all. He knew if he wanted to do a face book live he would have to go and sit on their guest bed to do so. They had rules for every thing but oddly there was no rules for flirting with other queens on instagram. That was a rule that Shane didn’t think of making. He didn’t think he needed to. And because of that, Shane was now sitting in their bedroom with his phone in his hand looking over the comments of Roy’s last post. And a silly little text between Roy and Shangela was now threatening to ruin Shane’s whole night.

Tonight was important for Shane. It was the first time in months that all his favourite queens would be in the same club together. It was a birthday party for one of the big promoters in LA, and every queen Shane loved had been asked to perform. Shane had been looking forward to it for weeks, but as much fun as it was going to be it was also the first time him and Roy had been around so many of their friends at the same time and that meant watching every move they both made. And making sure that they didn’t slip up and show too much affection towards each other.

Shane showed up at the club with Willam and Alaska by his side. They were performing as the AAA Girls and debuting their brand new cover.

“Ah shit, did you see who we are on after?” Willam is standing by the dressing room door looking over the set order.

“Please don’t let it be Bianca,” Alaska pleads from her make up station.

“The one and fucking only,” Willam answers. “And you know that scary clown is going to turn the crowd against us. That bitch will…”

“That bitch will what?”

Shane looks through the mirror and sees Roy standing at the dressing room door with his Bianca dress thrown over his shoulder. “Willam was just saying you’re on before us and you’re going to destroy us,” Shane explains.

“Naturally,” Roy’s nods. He goes to give Willam a hug and then Alaska before finally getting to Shane. “You bitches are half my set.” Shane’s hug from Roy lasts just a little bit longer than the ones he shared with Willam and Alaska, and just before they pull apart, Shane can feel Roy’s lips press lightly against his neck. “You okay?” he asks lightly.

“Fine,” Shane answers. He keeps his answer short and quickly turns back towards the mirror. He can see Roy’s confused expression on his face and it makes him feel just a little bit better. He wants Roy to feel the same confusion he felt when he saw that instagram post earlier.

“So what sick jokes do you have planned for us tonight Miss Del Rio?” Alaska stands beside Shane causing Roy to look away from his boyfriend.

“Well if you must know I don’t have anything lined up for you guys. I’m going to be focusing on the birthday boy mostly.”

“I’m sure something will pop into that sick mind of yours when you get on stage.” Willam remarks from the other side of the room.

Roy waits for the dressing room to fill up with the other queens and Shane is off in the corner trying to get his wig right before he approaches him again.

“Need help with that?”

“No thank you,” Shane’s sharp reply has Roy’s eyebrows raised.

“Okay so you’re annoyed,” Roy’s voice is in a low whisper so none of the other queens can hear the talking and that only annoys Shane more. “And I just saw you five minutes ago laughing with Willam so that tells me you’re not in a bad mood you’re just annoyed at me. So it’s something I have done.”

“And what exactly have you done?” Shane’s tone causes Roy to take a step back. Shane watches him glance around the crowded dressing room. “Oh don’t worry. No one heard me.”

“What the hell is your problem?”

“If you don’t know I’m not going to stand around here and explain it to you.” Shane grabs his make up back and quickly pushes past Roy, leaving him standing looking at himself in the mirror stunned.

Shane is all dressed up as Courtney and standing on the side of the stage with Bianca on stage half way through her act when Willam comes to stand beside him.

“That was quite a show girl.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’r little tantrum with Bianca,” Willam answers as he nods his head towards the stage. “You left him looking very confused with himself.”

“Oh that was nothing,” Shane quickly goes into cover up mode.

“Okay,” Willam nods. “We can play that game if you want.”

“I’m not playing a game.”

“You know it took me months to see it,” Willam leans against the wall as a few queens begin to gather closer to the stage. “First I thought you were just being picky. You know before Drag Race you took every hot boy back to your hotel room. After Drag Race you started getting a little choosy. It was only the really hot guys that got to play with Courtney. But do you know when I really saw it?”

“I don’t know where this long winded story is going,” Shane answers.

“It was about ten months ago,” Willam continues. “We were in some shit club in some shit town and your eyes were glued to your phone. The club was full of hot men in their underwear and you had this goofy look on your face as you looked at your phone. It was then I knew you were in love.”

“And when did you find it was it Bianca?” Shane can’t look at Willam. They had never talked this honestly before without one of them cracking a joke.

“About twenty minutes ago,” Willam answers. “When I saw that hurt look on Roy’s face as you stormed out.

“I can explain.”

“Bitch I don’t need your life story,” Willam elbows Shane’s side. “Just fix it. I don’t want to go to this after party with you two queens fighting. If I wanted a domestic I would have stayed at home with my husband.”

The rest of the show goes by in a blur for Shane and he almost forgets about that stupid instagram post. It’s only when he arrives at the after party with Willam and Alaska and Roy is right there at the club entrance that he’s brought back to it. Roy is standing in his usual outfit. A pair of jeans , t shirt and a baseball cap. All traces of Bianca have gone and it’s Roy.

“Oh look Bianca.” Willam announces before pushing Shane towards him. “Come on Alaska there’s a bar in here somewhere.”

“Really subtle,” Shane comments as they pass him and Roy.

“Al right what is your fucking problem tonight?” Roy grabs Shane by the elbow pulling him towards a dark corner of the club. “When I spoke to you earlier you were fine.”

“Was that before or after your little text with Shangela?”

“What are you…” Roy quickly realises Shane’s problem. “Seriously? You’re annoyed about that?”

“NEXT time we fuck,” Shane quotes.

“It was a fucking joke,” Roy says in disbelief.

“Well I’d love to see what other jokes you’re sharing with other queens,” Shane grumbles.

“Fine.” Roy pulls his phone from his back picky and hands it to Shane. “Go ahead.. search every text message I’ve sent. Hell search my internet history while you’re at it.”

“The phones locked.”

“It’s your birthday.”

“Your password is my birthday?”

“Why the fuck are you looking so shocked?”

“Why are you yelling at me?”

“Because you’re acting insane,” Roy answers annoyed.

“I’m not the one flirting with other queens,” Shane mumbles. “And doing whatever else you’re doing with her.”

Roy’s eyes widen at Shane’s last statement and Shane instantly regrets it. “Are you suggesting that I’m sleeping with Shangela?”

“You said next time.”

“It was a fucking joke.”

“Well I don’t find your fucking joke funny,” Shane snaps back. “I don’t like my boyfriend openly flirting with other queens.”

“Oh Miss “I’ve got a boyfriend in every town” doesn’t like me flirting?” Roy is angry now and that only leads Shane to push him more.

“I’m not rubbing it in your face. I’m not posting my private text messages on line for the world to see.”

“Well I’m not sleeping with Shangela.” Roy looks exhausted from this fight. He’s not used to fighting with Shane. They’re not that kind of couple. They spend too much time apart that when they’re together there is no time for fights. “I’m not sleeping with anyone but you.” Roy sighs heavily.

“What are you…”

“Two guys,” Roy interrupts. “In the last three years I’ve slept with two guys.”

“But…”

“Yeah I know this is supposed to be an open relationship but that’s not for me. That you. You’re all about free love and that’s fine. I’ve accepted that. I’m fine with that, but I’m not going to let you stand here and talk to me like this. You can’t be jealous when you’re out there sleeping with who ever you want whenever you want.”

“I haven’t slept with anyone else in over a year,” Shane admits. “I mean I still pretend that I’m all about enjoying random men after shows, but the truth is I’m more interested in getting back to my hotel room and calling you. Id rather spend an hour alone talking to you than hooking up with some random guy.”

“Okay,” Roy’s says slowly as he tries to process everything Shane has just said. “So in this open relationship no one is sleeping with anyone else?”

“I guess so.”

“So what the fuck are we fighting about?” Roy complains.

You’re ashamed of me,” Shane accuses.

“Where the fuck did that come from?”

“You don’t share any of my text messages on line.2

“Most of your text messages include a nude picture of you,” Roy points out. “I’d get kicked off of instagram for that.”

“You know what I mean.” Shane sighs. “It’s like you don’t want anyone to know you’re hooking up with me.”

“We are not hooking up.”

“You say that, but that’s what it feels like. Its like you don’t want anyone to know that we have sex.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“It’s coming from me spending five days in a hotel because you’re Nephews came to visit last month,” Shane answers.

“What are you…2

“It’s coming from me having to keep quiet every time your mother calls because you don’t want her asking questions about why I’m in your house.”

“Look can we not do this here?” Roy looks around the club. “Can we leave this until we get home?”

“Well maybe I won’t be going home tonight.”

“Oh really?” Roy asks. “Are we really doing this now?”

“No,” Shane sighs heavily. “I just… I can’t do this any more.”

“You can’t do this any more?” Roy asks quietly. “Is this… is this you breaking up with me?”

“What no,” Shane moves forwards grabbing Roy by the arms. “God no. I’m not saying that. I’m just saying…

“You’re saying you can’t hide any more,” Roy nods his head. “I get that. I mean it’s not like it’s fun for me either. And don’t you dare think I’m ashamed of this or something. Like I could be ashamed of you. I mean look at you.”

“I don’t want to hide any more Roy,” Shane admits. “I want to be open with everyone in my life. I want my family to know that I have someone in my life. Someone I love. I want to introduce you to my parents as my boyfriend and not my friend. I want to…”

“Okay okay,” Roy grabs him by the hips. “No more hiding. We won’t hide any more.”

“Good,” Shane nods.

“So now what?” Roy asks. “Do we announce it or…”

“Or you could just kiss me,” Shane says before pulling Roy towards him. The kiss doesn’t last that long but when they pull apart they know instantly their secret is out. Willam has had all the queens silently watching them from the bar. It starts with Willam rushing towards them. Screaming with his arms in the air. The rest of the queens soon follow. Surround them both. Adore is right in front pulling them both into her arms.

“Mommy and Daddy are together,” she screams in Roy’s ear.

“Okay this was a mistake,” he groans as he looks over Adores shoulder at his boyfriend.

Shane can only smile as the rest of the queens continue throwing question after question at them.