#does regulus kill sirius too?

[viviandarkbloombartylusversion]

Sirius running away at 16, unaware that his mother is pregnant with his baby brother. Sirius at 30, taking in 14 year old Regulus after Walburga goes crazy and murders Orion brutally. Sirius doesn't understand why Regulus's social worker tells him that their parents had him locked in the basement full of crosses even though they'd never been super religious, he doesn't understand why when he goes to visit his mother in the ward all she will say to him is 'that child is the devil'. But he does begin to see, and unease creeps up on him, every time he catches Regulus standing at his door in the night, when he hears eery humming coming from down the hall, when his husband Remus's cat goes missing, when he starts finding dead animals in the yard, when he finds a blood stained shirt under Regulus's bed, when a girl at Regulus's school snapped her neck after falling down the stairs. Every time Regulus smiles at him, he smiles back despite the growing pit in his gut. And it isn't until he comes home to find Remus drowning in his own blood on their bed and Regulus drawing on the floor with blood covered fingers that he knows their mother was right.

[whoopsiesnodaisies]

Hate to say it, but I am a Severus Snape hater

I've had a crush on my friends, and they dated someone I didn't approve of... but I never called my friend a slur cause of it

[crescenthistory]

Where Padfoot Lays His Head

Summary: Inspired by @thewriterghost's reblog of my last animagus!reader fic, this is just a sweet drabble of Whiskers comforting Padfoot:,)

Words: 1.7k

Warnings: not proofread, fem!reader, your marauders/animagus name is whiskers, walburga black, black family dynamics and trauma, vaguely implied abuse, sirius spiraling into self-loathing, platonic physical affection, romantic!regulus x reader but platonic!sirius x reader is the main focus, background platonic!moonwater

Note: this is based on the same reader from Feline Touches, Sweet Like Honey and Padfoot vs. Whiskers, sirius' beloved almost-sister-in-law that he has frequent (loving) sibling squabbles with

Sirius pretended he didn’t feel the humiliation burning through his veins from his friends’ worrying looks.

Stop looking at me, stop caring so sodding much.

His internal begging was all for naught; this was apparently what he signed up for when he strolled into the train compartment that housed the largest smile Hogwarts had ever seen and his pack of make-shift slightly-fucked-up-but-lovable friends.

Most days, Sirius was grateful to the bone for the family he had been able to assemble at Hogwarts, stretching from his boyfriend to his boyfriend’s childhood best friend to his biological brother and the boys that became his brothers. However, on days that Walburga Black, the hag to end all hags, sends him a Howler berating him for leaving home over the summer, few sentiments besides anger, self-loathing and isolation remained in the young boy’s body.

When he eventually stops reeling and wallowing, all this attention would make him feel warm once more, especially when he sees they didn’t stop showering him in it even as he retreated perhaps a bit rudely from it. Right now, though, it just kept the wound open and Sirius was sure the infection would kill him this time around.

He was sure of that every time.

It became evident quickly that he would not be able to get away from his friends. James was practically glued to his side from the moment he left the Great Hall after Walburga ruined everyone’s lunch. His brown eyes were so wide beneath his glasses and Sirius was sure he could almost see tears in them as he swung his arm around Sirius’ shoulders and kept telling jokes like his life depended on it. Remus was not much better. He had learned by now not to soften his touches when Sirius was in these moods – on the contrary, harsh, direct touches helped ground him – but his hands rarely left his being, as if he would fall apart without him. Even Lily tuned down her playful banter with him, swapping it for concerned questions and checking in on him throughout the day. Sirius loved them all, but he hated it.

Even Regulus showed him more compassion than normal, though he didn’t say much. His entire being seemed to radiate I get you, I understand more than anyone, because frankly he did. Even as hearing Walburga’s voice must have rattled Regulus too, he didn’t show it, instead holding space for Sirius, carrying what was supposed to be his burden.

Humiliating. 

All of which to say, Sirius did what Sirius does best; he ran from them all, in the one form none of them would be able to hold a conversation with him in.

Padfoot had turned out to be a blessing that way. Sirius picked up on it from you, who only ever was in your animagus form when you felt particularly well or horrifically poorly. Difficult to ask how a dog is feeling, yeah? 

He laid in front of the common room fireplace, stretched out in a position that showed he was ready to pounce should anyone try to pet him. Around him, his friends were cuddled up on the sofas and armchairs, chattering lowly amongst themselves and playing the occasional game of wizarding chess. Padfoot had his head placed on his front paws as his gaze flickered all over the room, unable to settle. His nerves always seemed to transform with him, manifesting as the most anxious dog Gryffindor had seen.

Their stares were still on him, penetrating and with downturned frowns over their faces. Stop it, stop it, stop it. He couldn’t string too long sentences together in his dog brain – part of its fantastic appeal right now – but that sentiment remained steadfast.

You were sat in Regulus’ lap opposite the fireplace, murmuring something in his ear as you both intermittently looked at Padfoot. Your hands were playing with his hair, lips almost grazing his skin as you talked, even pressing the occasional kiss to his cheek, his jaw, his ear. Love. Padfoot loved love and he loved his little brother getting to experience it so wholly, even as he laid here, destroying the moment with the same misery that hunted any children raised by the Black family. He felt as if he was sucking the joy out of the room with his wallowing, yet he couldn’t stop himself.

Padfoot couldn’t help the low whine that escaped him at the darkness swirling around inside him. Upon fearing having to meet the gazes of anyone who caught the noise and see the goddamn sympathy and pity in them, he brought his paws up to cover his eyes, pathetically hiding within himself.

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

In his internal chanting, he didn’t notice when the chatter died down a bit, nor did he see the glances exchanged. He felt the footsteps reverberating through the floorboards, suggesting somebody was walking away, but he didn’t register its true implications. Leave, was all he could think. Good, leave. Go.

What he did notice to its fullest extent was when a few moments later, soft fur collided with his own as something was rubbing against him.

A bit too quickly, almost too violently, Padfoot’s head snapped up from beneath his paws to see what this intrusion was – only to come face to face with a white-and-grey cat, blinking slowly at him. His mouth fell slightly open, and he thought a complaining bark may be on its way out, but then you – Whiskers – butted your head against the side of his neck, caressing him with your feline body.

The adventures of Whiskers and Padfoot were a running joke, especially one Remus and Regulus loved to team up to tell. Whether it was chasing each other around, hunting rats – preferably Wormtail, but any would do – and mice or playing with the house elves, you two loved to conduct mischief together in the one form you could never be properly caught in. There had been the occasion where you cuddle or pet one another, but it was rare and usually unspoken, attachment growing deeper and softer without either properly addressing it. 

So, this was not necessarily out of left field, but it surprised him nonetheless. He couldn’t say it wasn’t quite welcome, though.

You had started purring as you walked up and down his body where he was laid in front of the fire, soaking up the warmth he was bathed in and oddly calming the vibrating nerves within his own body. Whenever you reached his head, you bumped your snout against his, rubbing the space between your ears all over his face.

Cats are weird, Padfoot thought. Like it.

Mere minutes ago Sirius had been surveying his friends and his effect on them intently, digging himself deeper into his self-inflicted hole. Now, his attention was captured by the much smaller animal beside him, and he didn’t see how most conversation had stopped to witness the interaction. Lily and James looked at them in almost shocked awe, both having been snapped at and ran away from when they attempted to pet Padfoot themselves. Regulus and Remus, however, sat there with soft, knowing smiles – seeing the girl they loved most go for it with no fear and comforting their favourite dog. Remus would deny it to anyone who asked, but there were tears in his eyes.

The next time Whiskers came up beside his face, you stayed there, leaning yours against his. You laid your body down over the paws Padfoot had previously rested his own head on and made yourself comfortable in a position no one but a cat could possibly conjure up. From there, you began cleaning his fur like you were his personally-assigned cat mother, licking the strands in their correct direction. When his face was too far away, you lightly brought your paw up to his snout to bring him further towards you.

Despite being placed in front of a fire, warmth didn’t truly spread through Sirius before now. When he brought his head down, he laid it on top of you and let it rest there across your midsection, careful not to hurt you, as your upper body curled around his head. You continued cleaning up his fur as you purred loudly, easing the tension from Padfoot’s poor body.

A cuddle only animals could come up with, an embrace Sirius would deny anyone today, yet like this, it just worked.

When his eyes became heavy, Sirius let them fall. You continued your ministrations without hesitation, carefully and slowly tending to Sirius face, only stopping occasionally to nuzzle your forehead further into his fur and purr even louder. 

He didn’t quite fall asleep, he rarely did as Padfoot, too alert and awake in this form, but he let himself fall into a place of tranquillity. Walburga’s harsh words seemed almost funny in their anger now, and Sirius’ own spiral was becoming a thing of the past. 

Would he still be red-cheeked tomorrow and avoid his friends’ eyes for the first half of the day? Perhaps, but they would reel him into their arms and hearts regardless. Would he sputter and fall back into his evil cycle of thoughts if anyone brought this specific moment up? Without a doubt, but that’s why they would not, at least not before he settled. 

Padfoot was suddenly safe in the Gryffindor common room. He was safe with this warm weight over his paws and beneath his head, he was safe with love being quite literally carded into every strand of fur on his body. He was safe with the hearth behind him and his pack in front of him, quiet voices further lolling him further into a state of peace.

Padfoot was safe – maybe even loved.

Across the room, Remus and Regulus had gravitated further towards one another, as theirs were the only eyes who never left the scene of cat-dog-solidarity displayed before them. 

Regulus bumped into Remus’ arm with his elbow and whispered, “He doesn’t like cats, he says?” with a knowing smirk.

The other boy huffed a laugh at that, lips remaining softly upturned. “I believe he has an exception or two to that rule.”

[777heavengirl]

spill your guts

sirius black x reader one-shot ! warnings: miscommunication? (apparently, that’s all ik how to write), friends to lovers, mentions of injury, no war AU! word count: 6,730 masterlist a/n: sorry I've been MIA uni is BEATING my ass and i rewrote this like 35 times, enjoy!

“I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with my quidditch bat” Sirius's clammy skin and the breeze that flew in from the window you had slightly cracked open when he awoke hyperventilating, caused goosebumps to crawl up his skin. You stayed quiet at his confession, your eyes trained on his face but his burned holes into your baby blue duvet. “And all he does is scream and cry for help-“

He took a sharp breath, this was one of those rare times when everything rotting inside him tried spilling out. For many years it was just James and Remus, Peter occasionally, but now he found that he couldn’t help but want to spill his guts to you. You stayed quiet as he spoke, scared to say anything that would cause him to shut himself in again.

”And maybe halfway through, I realized that it has more to do with me killing him than it ever did protecting myself.” Sirius never spoke of his father. His mother usually plagued his nightmares and it was the abuse he was more inclined to share.

Not his father's.

”He was really pushing his luck-“ His dry laugh, seemed cruel, but you could see how his fingers fidgeted, playing with a small thread on the edge of his boxers. The need to light a cigarette flashed in his mind. 

You knew the man was dead. You were with Sirius and the rest of the marauders the day he was buried. After everyone else had left the funeral, the brothers stared at the coffin on the altar of the mausoleum the rest of their family rested in. Regulus didn’t speak a word but gripped Sirius’s arm with white-hot knuckles. Sirius put his cigarette out on the shiny, polished wood, one last act of defiance. His brother nodded, almost as if in approval, but not quite, and apparated away with their family house elf soon after. Sirius linked his arm with yours. You didn’t ask how he died, nor did you ask about the brothers' relationship now that both of their abusers were dead and buried. Now that everything between them rotted away.

You never wanted to push the boundary more than he’d let you. Your relationship, if that’s what you could call it, was already precarious as it was.

Tonight had started like many others, Sirius knocking at your door. The flat you shared with Dorcas in front of the one he shared with Peter and Remus. And you answered, you always did.

“you look good tonight-“ You thought the way too small sleeping shorts were the reason he said so, it wasn’t the mismatched socks or the oversized muggle band tee you had stolen from their dorm fifth year. Definitely not the messy, bed-ridden hair. He had only seen your face, the glint in your eyes, and the pull of your smile. That had been enough for him to decide you were the most beautiful creature on the planet. “can I sleep in your bed?” You said yes.

You always said yes.

You didn’t have sex. But you slept together, his fingertips digging into the supple skin of your waist as he slept with his face buried in your neck. You often played with his hair, tracing spirals on his back until he snored softly. You wouldn’t have guessed that tonight would end up with him waking up, in a cold sweat and gasping for breaths, much less confessing his dreams of murdering his already deceased father.

You didn't hold that against him.

You took a hesitant hold of his trembling fingers, he seemed to welcome the touch as he intertwined his fingers with yours.

He pulled you close to him again after he laid back down. The window remained open with the nippy night breeze flowing in, but his skin eventually lost its goosebumps and his grip ultimately loosened, he was soft and warm and moldable now. He melted onto your side and you couldn't help but stare. At his perfect nose and perfect lips, the weight of the world that he held on his shoulders faded away when he slept, even if just for a few hours. 

You reveled in the fact that it was your bed he felt this comfortable in.

You hoped it was only yours.

-

Even the mornings where he had crawled out of your bed and your flat, the ones where you awoke alone and cold, he stayed in your head. He had imprinted himself on your mind, he had made it his home. Sirius Black, the man you were not dating, but the man you shared your bed with, occasionally made breakfast with in between fits of laughter. The man who had declared very loudly, and very drunkenly, that you'd make the perfect girlfriend at a party four months ago, and yet continued to ignore any hint that there might be something else between the two of you. Your bed felt cold the rare nights he didn't knock at your door, at this point your entire apartment called for his presence. Dorcas joked that he was your third roommate.

You always wondered if he had found some muggle girl to woo for the night, sleep in her foreign bed, and disappear in the morning. You wondered if he ever stayed 'til the morning in their beds, if he enjoyed them more than he enjoyed you. If your bed and your embrace weren't enough.

Until there was a knock at your door, the clock marked 1:27 am.

"A long time ago, my great-great-great-great-grandfather took something that did not belong to him," You wondered if this would also become ritual, him baring his heart naked. Baring his family's sins, his sins, to you. As if your divine acceptance would tip the scales, and that it would weigh his heart as pure. Your skin was the one riddled with goosebumps this time, as the cold that seeped through the window nipped at the thin material of your shirt and you duvet stayed discarded at the foot of the bed. You didn't mind it. He blew the smoke of his cig out the open window and turned to look at you again, unapologetically staring into your eyes. "And that is why I kind of look the way I do, 'm part Veela," you wondered if his confessions were a new level of intimacy you had gained access to. 

"As if I couldn't tell," he gave you a crooked smirk, the type he gives you when he's about to make some obscene, dirty joke. He didn't this time though. You visibly saw his shoulders relax when you made a quick quip, ignoring the heavy atrocity of his ancestors. It wasn't him after all, why would you hold it against him? He hummed, reveling secretly in your compliment. Maybe you genuinely did think he was beautiful. Regardless of the tattoos that now littered his body, or the scars of abuse that would never leave him, or even the random bruises that sometimes stained his porcelain skin, from his bike, from Moony's transformations, from everything. Maybe you even saw past the commitment issues, and unspoken words, or the fact that he left you to wake up to an empty bed often.

Maybe, somehow, you were able to look past all of that. All of him.

Sirius knew it was wishful thinking.

-

“Don’t look at me like that Moony,” Sirius said with a groan as he stood at the door, still holding the handle from closing it. Remus glared at him from the top of his cup as he sipped his tea, Sirius really wanted to skip the whole lecture, you woke up early meaning he also had to, and had to make the treacherous journey across the hall. He glanced at the clock on the wall, it glanced 6:30 am back at him. Why was Remus even awake?

“you’re a prat Padfoot-“

”I needed some sleep, it's not like we're-“

“It doesn’t matter, what you’re doing to that poor girl is horrible, if you really can’t sleep drink some tea, go to a physician” Remus turned his back to Sirius, angrily cleaning his cup in the sink, although he couldn’t see him, Sirius knew Remus’s face was twisted into one of disappointment and anger. “you know she loves you, and you use it instead of telling her there will never be anything between you-“

”I love her”

”You’re not in love with her, are you?” He turned the water off, turning around with a glare as Sirius stayed quiet. “She is.”

Sirius didn’t know what he felt for you if he was honest. He loved you, though. He had always loved you. From the days you ran around with the four of them around Hogwarts, when you passed notes in class, when you accompanied him on secret trips to the kitchens, when you helped clean his wounds at Potter Manor the summer he ran away. Sirius has always loved you.

Remus might think that’s worse.

”Stop sleeping with her and having breakfast with her the morning after, Merlin-“ he took a deep breath, his fingers coming up to rub his temples in frustration and the Welsh accent seeped into his words, “What the hell are you thinking Sirius?”

Remus knew he was being tough, but he felt bad. He felt bad about the way your eyes always trailed after the boy, and how you always stared at Sirius’s closed bedroom door when you were over for tea. You needed to be able to move on with your life. It didn’t help you and Dorcas lived right in front of them.

”Alright Moony,” 

“You’ll leave her alone?” Sirius refused to meet the taller boy's eyes.

”I’ll try”

- 

Sirius did not listen to Remus. 

He never did really, but he felt guilty now. He stared at you from your bed, you paced around stripping away the day, being a healer at St Mungo's was an arduous job most days. Some it was just kids with dragon pox and their mothers who came with worry stitched in their souls, doing rounds with residents that had been there longer than you, the older ladies always gave you candy. You didn't know where they were getting it from. Most nights you dragged yourself into your apartment late enough you might as well say it’s morning, and dropped, ruined and exhausted, on your bed. The worst days, it was back-to-back shifts of trying to heal curses, creature attacks, and mysterious maladies that left you drained and hopeless. Ones that made you fear the magical world that surrounded you. These nights you would've sought Sirius out, the way he did you, but you didn't need to. He was always there, somehow knowing and waiting outside your door. Sometimes, he was just exiting his apartment, going to knock on yours when you came up the stairs, other nights, like this one, he waited for you. He sat on the floor with his back against your door and his eyes closed until he heard your footsteps. He stood and greeted you silently with a kiss to your temple.

He trailed after you, into your room and onto your bed. So he sat, his back against the wall and the bottom parts of his legs hanging from the bed. He didn't say much, he observed as you sighed and sniffed, wiping your eyes as you muttered to yourself. He watched in awe as you took off the green healer robes they made you wear, your buttoned shirt coming off with it. 

“I don’t understand how hard it is to keep your kid away from places like those, the kid was barely five and now he has all these welts-“ you huffed in frustration as you stripped off your pants and walked into the bathroom, the door open so you could continue to ramble “how does a five-year-old get cursed? I had to call the Ministry-“

Sirius didn’t think he could deny the fact that he reveled in these moments, he couldn't hide it for the life of him. The ones where you were so comfortable with him, walking around in your mismatched underwear angrily rambling about negligent mothers and how now you have to testify at the Ministry next week. It was laced with domesticity and a cloying sweetness that covered his skin. He wanted to stop you and kiss you silly. To sleep with you, in all your naked glory, and not care because you’d be together. He shook away the need to keep you for himself. He shuffled close to the edge of the bed, his feet finally touching the floor and he picked up a trinket on your nightstand. He bought it for you when he visited France last summer. He promised Regulus he'd gone to see him a few days. It went well, he realized. He also thought of the fact he didn't tell you that's what he went to do.

”Sirius?"

"Hm?" he finally focused back on your words, his eyes flickering back to you and the small smile that formed on your lips when you saw what he had in his hand. 

"I said, what'd you reckon will happen to the kid?" your smile faded, and you picked nervously at your cuticles as you thought about him. Would they take him away? Would he be put in an orphanage? It was protocol you had no other choice but to call... and yet you couldn't stop thinking about it. You started moving around your room again, like a bee collecting pollen from flowers. Bees were cute, right? Sirius hoped you wouldn't think he was silly, Bees were cute, he decided. You grabbed a couple of items of clothing, collecting them in one arm as the other one massaged your scalp. 

"I dunno," he remembered to answer now, "I had never thought about it,"

He could hear you turn on the shower, but you padded back into the room as the water warmed. You looked at him, still in your underwear, the eye bags underneath your eyes were visible, your makeup long faded by now. 

"You never went because of your mum?" He shook his head, and you shuffled closer, the side of your leg pressed against the bed and your knee knocking with his as you looked down at him. Your hand went to caress his hair instinctively, his soft glossy curls sliding through your fingers easily. "I'm sorry no one noticed Sirius," this part was a whisper now, you feared overstepping a boundary you weren't aware of. He smiled at you, his hand coming up to pinch your naked side. 

You yelped and batted his hand away with a laugh. 

"She's good and dead now, I reckon it doesn't matter anymore-" He gave you a saddened smile, his nimble fingers grabbing a hold of your hand pulling you closer to him again. It was private moments like this, that confused you. The intimacy of it all, the way his lips pressed against the back of your hand and looked at you through half-lidded eyes. You were suddenly hyper-aware of how naked you actually were. You had been friends for the majority of your life, shame was long gone, but when you were so close you could feel his breath across the stretch of your tummy, it felt different.

"I reckon it does matter," You pressed a small kiss to his forehead and unpeeled yourself from him, "don't bury it all inside you, Mr Black"

You floated away now, in the sea of your anxiety over your actions, closing the bathroom door behind you. 

Sirius had a lot of destructive behaviors, he knew that. The smoking since he was fifteen, the reckless way he rode his motorcycle around, the growing collection of tattoos on his body, the tumultuous relationship he had with his brother, Merlin definitely the excessiveness in which he drank, not to mention the way he showed up at the Potter's every once in a while seeking James's comfort and unconditional love, ignoring the fact that the man was a father and had a million things on his shoulders. Lily didn’t seem to mind. At least he was a decent godfather, took care of Harry to perfection, it took a few tries but he got it. Loved him with his entire heart. But you, Sirius, thought you might be the worst of it.

The worst thing he’s ever done to himself is allow for this domesticity between you.

You came back from your shower with your hair slightly damp and smelling of your signature body wash scent, sweet and enveloping. The oversized shirt that covered your torso was almost long enough to cover 'til your upper thighs. It made Sirius’s lips curl into a lopsided smile that he tried to repress.

He was lying down now, starfishing on your bed as he stared at the ceiling.

”Are you coming to bed?” The clock blinked 3 AM at you, and Sirius reached his hand out. You walked closer to him, a small smile playing on your lips. You sent the towel you had been using back to its spot with a swish of your hand. Basic handless magic was a difficult skill to gain but Merlin so gratifying. 

“I forgot my pants silly,” he shook his head no, and reached for your hand with a bit more effort, grabbing a hold of it and pulling you down with him.

”Let’s just sleep, you don’t need those-“ He covered the two of you with your heavy duvet as you laughed, he leaned over you to turn off the lamp on your nightstand.

Yes, Sirius thought as he buried his face in the crook of your neck and threw one of his arms over your torso. You were the worst thing he had ever done to himself. He would never be able to let go, your hands stroking his hair until one of you fell asleep, the small ‘night that slipped past your lips just as your eyes fluttered shut. He'd never get enough of your saccharine scent that enveloped him like a blanket, comforting and warm. All-encompassing and suffocating, in each other’s arms every night, in the comfort of your room. 

Sirius knew it deep in his heart, what he had been afraid of for so long. Maybe Remus had it all wrong, maybe he was in love with you.

Because what else could this feeling be?

-

You tried to ignore the ache in your heart when you woke up to an empty bed. You tried to forget the fact that you’d probably do it all again tonight, and the next night too, all to bear the fruit of nothing. 

Dorcas shook her head and she pushed a cup of coffee towards you. 

“Don’t look at me like that Dorcas -“

”I love Sirius as much as the next guy but-“ you picked up the coffee and sighed at its warmth “He’s being a prat honey-“

”It's not like we’ve been having sex, he just needs some sleep” You shook your head and looked away, afraid that your eyes would betray you, “hell I needed sleep too”

”It doesn’t matter, Y/N you’re a healer get him a stock of sleeping draught and yourself some too while you’re at it…” She furrowed her brows but you stayed quiet, not daring to meet her gaze “I know you love him, but I’m not so sure he sees you that way-“

” I’m not in love with him”

“I didn’t say you were in love,” Dorcas sighed now, placing her cup on the sink and walking towards the small chimney in your flat. “Promise me it won’t happen anymore, that you’ll try to break it off”

”I’ll try Dorcas,” she didn’t believe you much, you didn’t believe yourself either, the Floo Flames engulfed her body.

It was hard to, separate yourself from him that is. Sirius Black was addicting, simply from the way he moved. Just watching him is entrancing on its own. Speaking to him, with his suave words and low tone. Everything about him, everyone craved to have a simple conversation, have even an ounce of his attention. Sleeping in his arms though, heart to heart? Now that was in a league of its own. 

-

You dragged yourself into your building, the day bearing down on you. You half hoped that Sirius would be waiting outside your door again, sitting waiting for you to lay in his arms. Disappointment added to the sack of bricks you felt like you were carrying when you turned to see the empty hallway. You sluggishly made your way up to your door, hoping to see Sirius's head pop out of his apartment door. Giggles came down your hall, as you fiddled with your keychain trying to find your key. The drunken whispers got louder and just as you grabbed a hold of your key you heard your name echo softly down the hall.

You dropped your keys in surprise as you took in the sight. Sirius stood rather close to a short woman, her bubbling laughter and her roaming hands didn't stop when he let his arm drop from her shoulders. All color drained from his face and his drunk, loose smile fell quickly from his lips. The girl that clung to him like gum to a shoe hadn’t noticed your presence nor how Sirius seemed to sober up at the sight of you.

You scrambled to pick up your keys as the blonde started whispering in his ear, starting to pull at him again. He called out your name one more time, moving towards you now, dragging the poor girl down the hallway with him.

“have a good night Sirius-“ 

You miraculously managed to get your key in the hole swiftly, turn it, open, and lock yourself inside just in time. Pressing your back against the door, your heart felt like it might leap out of your chest. You had always hoped that he wasn’t seeing other people, or meeting anyone else. And the absence of encounters just like this one had solidified that thought, you were properly convinced. Now though. You had just been lucky enough to not encounter them. You thought back, it was impossible not to feel like Sirius’s look had been one of guilt. Like he got caught. But the two of you weren’t anything.

You were painfully reminded of that fact tonight.

You hadn't noticed how fast or how hard your heart was beating. You felt like it was ready to break through your ribs, leaving you shattered and with a void in your chest. But it didn't do such a thing. No, you stayed perfectly intact, even as you felt the panic batter your chest and the notion that you were definitely not the only woman in his life torturing your heart.

"What's wrong?" Dorcas said in a whisper as she looked up, her large glasses sliding down her nose. The yellow lamps that decorated your apartment gave Dorcas's dark skin a low golden tone, like the type you'd see in paintings of candlelights and sultry lounges. Marlene was over today, her short, bleached blonde strands fanning over her face as she slept with her head on Dorcas's lap, her arms wrapped around the girl's waist.  If it had been any other time you would've run for the muggle Polaroid camera Lily bought you, flashing a picture of the two of them.

"Sirius was just outside with some girl," Dorcas gasped now and shot up, dropping Marlene's head on the couch. The blonde groaned awake and asked what was wrong.

"Sirius brought home a girl" The blonde shot up as well and the girlfriends ran to the door, trying to look through the peephole. "Well this whole thing has gone arse over tit hasn't it?" Marlene pushed Dorcas off for her turn at the peephole. 

"There's no 'thing' between us anyway"

"Well, shit" The blonde outside kept pawing at Sirius, trying to reach his face, to eat it Marlene guessed. He stared at the door, trying to hold the girl who stuck to him back. Marlene felt as if she was in a staring competition. She knew Sirius couldn’t see her but she still liked the thought that she’d win.

Dorcas was the first to peel herself off of the door and pull you into a tight embrace. Her hand rubbed circles on your back and Marlene followed, embracing the two of you. They smelled coconut-y and sweet, even the remainder of Marlene's stronger perfume wafted over you ever so slightly. It was grounding, really, to be hugged tightly by your closest friends, the smell of home, the comfort of knowing that you were loved, even if it wasn't by him.

"I'll hex him for you if you want" Marlene's suggestion, although serious, wasn't necessary. You shook your head sighing. 

"He didn't do anything-" Dorcas flicked your head now, a frown forming on her face as the three of you parted. 

"Like hell, he didn't-"

"He doesn't owe me anything 'Cas don't be harsh"

"He's been sleeping in your bed for the better part of six months I reckon he owes you a lot" Dorcas gave you a look of pity now, like you were a wounded abandoned animal.

"I say we set his motorbike on fire," Marlene suggested casually like she was talking about the weather. You slowly peeled your layers off, as you dragged your feet towards your room. You knew the girls felt bad for you, but it was your fault. Who in their right mind would let Sirius Black so into their hearts, knowing that no commitment would ever come from it? 

You. 

You would. 

From his muscles softened under your touch, his warmth spreading to your body, to the way he mumbled in his sleep. It was something your soul craved to see, to feel, to hear. He had bewitched you, without you wanting him to, without meaning to allow him. You threw yourself on your bed, starfished and in your underwear, freshly showered. The water did not wash away the regret nor the hurt. They only made you think of coming back to Sirius in your bed, smiling and pulling you into his arms. Your sheets were cold, and tucked in neatly, very unlike the cozy mess Sirius usually made of it. So you stared, long and hard at the white of your ceiling. You prayed sleep would take you, you were exhausted. Like your body had been beaten, like your heart had split in two. 

No such sleep would overtake you. Instead, you could hear frantic knocks on your front door, your muscles twitched but you didn't dare move, like if you breathed he'd know. You heard Dorcas rip the door open, the force of it reverberating through your small flat. 

"You got some balls coming here," It was muffled, but you could still hear the venom in her voice. She didn't let him speak. "You're going to die cold, sad, and alone Black— don't you ever forget it" She threw the door closed now, the bang shaking your room again. It was jarring to hear that, especially from someone as sweet as Dorcas was, and she meant it. Hell, you felt like she would make sure of it, no matter the cost. 

"Sweetheart-" Dorcas spoke through the door, her knuckles grazing the wood but not quite knocking. You didn't answer.

A muffled she must be asleep, and you felt like you could breathe again. You knew Sirius wouldn't end up alone. If he did romantically, the friendships in his life would fulfill that void anyway. He had a family. Most of your friends were his, and you knew, that you could never ask any of them to walk around the uncomfortable wall that seemed to form between you, or god forbid pick sides. It was stupid, you knew there was no reason you should be upset. You were not together. You weren't anything to him, and he wasn't supposed to be to you.

But oh he was. He was everything.

-

On nights like these, you thought you might reach your limit and have to be admitted into the psychiatric ward of St Mungo's yourself. You felt sweaty, and the stuffy healer robes didn't help to ease the heat that crawled up your skin. Your hair felt frizzy and out of place, and your buttoned-up shirt felt like it was choking you, but you couldn't stop. You couldn't afford to nor could the patients that kept coming in. The St Mungo's emergency room was nothing short of a battleground, it was vile and the worst turn to get. Especially during the overnight shift. These were the types of shifts that made you second guess your career choice, the ones that made you want to throw in the towel and drag yourself back into your apartment and never come out. 

"Y/N come on, they're bringing in a flying vehicle accident-" you frowned as you let your turn partner drag you towards one of the newly entered patients. For the first time that shift, you felt dread crawl up your throat, your heart skipping a beat as you saw Sirius lying unconscious on the bed. For a second you thought you had forgotten how to breathe, your fingertips felt numb and your ears rang. His perfect nose was bloody, his perfect lip bruised and split. There were scrapes on his cheeks, and his jeans had been ripped and stained red. It wasn't noticeable at first, but the metallic smell and the caked-on blood on his black jacket became visible as you approached, it all made it clear, it had been bad.

You couldn't understand what your partner was telling you, the ringing in your ears too loud for you to make out the words, but as they moved Sirius onto a proper bed, it all came crashing down again. Repeated prayers of no's rang through your head along with pleas to a higher power to let this be a nightmare, one you'd wake up from cold and sweaty but knowing he's safe. No such relief came, and your fingertips buzzed with electricity once again, moving so fast it was like you moved at two times speed. You couldn't think of anything but prayers, to what? You didn't know, but you did so nevertheless. To the stars, and the heavens, or the magic that ran through your blood, through his. You didn't know. But you muttered words of hope and love, as you cleaned his wounds, hoping he'd hear you.

You busied yourself and basically assigned yourself to his care, after they moved him out of the ER, into one of the beds in the rows of other patients divided by sheets. You barely left his side, just to shower and change into the spare clothes Dorcas had brought you reluctantly, mildly upset you were taking care of Sirius. You ate next to him, talked to him, read your favorite poems, and hummed his favorite songs. He mumbled here and there, and his eyes would flutter sometimes which you took as a good sign but the tension didn't leave your shoulders, and your prayers never ended.

James, Remus, and Peter passed by, dropping some baked goods off and comforting you with teary hugs. 

"I told him that bloody bike would kill him-" Remus said as he shook his head and sat next to Sirius for a bit, his hand on the boy's knee.

"How's he doing doc?" you rolled your eyes, amusement played in James's eyes at the pull of your lips. He had always secretly been a worrywart, but he played it off well as if his heart didn't almost beat out of his chest when he got the call.

"As long as he wakes up he'll be fine-" He smiled genuinely now, "Few broken bones," He hummed, looking at Remus and Peter huddled next to Sirius's bed.

"few broken bones hm? wouldn't be the first time." You talked for a while, each one of you ignoring the nagging feeling of worry. Sirius's boisterous laugh was poignantly missing from the conversation. But soon enough, James's father's duties called and he pressed a kiss on Sirius's forehead and one on yours very fatherlike and apparated away, Remus and Peter gathered themselves up as well not long after.

"Call if anything, okay doll?" Remus pulled you into a tight hug, his lips pressing against your temple as well. Peter gave you a small hug, his eyes trailing over Sirius's form sadly. 

You were left alone again, the window panes that surrounded the hall letting some moonlight in. Time felt like a thick jelly, your eyes staring at the clock as you ran your hands through his hair, the exhaustion was quickly catching up to you. But the thought of another coffee made your stomach churn and your eyelids felt heavy like lead. So you gripped his hand tightly and laid your head against his arm.

If he woke up, you'd be there.

-

Sirius felt like he might be in heaven, the second his eyes fluttered open you were there. Your face pressed between his forearm and the bed, your hand tightly clutching his. He could feel the ghost of your lips on his skin and goosebumps threatened to crawl up his spine, his thoughts straying to your pout. Your closed eyes and your steady breathing made it clear you were sleeping, Sirius couldn't help but smile. He very rarely got to watch you like this, by some miracle he always fell asleep first and woke up second. You were so lovely, with your soft skin and the angelic glow from the light of the moon glaring against the curve of your face. If it wasn't for the stinging in his face or the way his ribs felt like they were collapsing in on themselves, Sirius would've sworn up and down he had died and gone to heaven.

He squeezed your hand, and the weight of the realization that you had been taking care of him fell on him. Guilt clawed at his throat, he had broken your heart and you still took care of him. He'll never forget the look on your face, the surprise, and the tears that threatened to fall. There was no other word to use besides heartbreak, and it had been his fault. He didn't know why he had brought her home, he didn't particularly fancy the girl, but the alcohol made his veins feel warm and she smiled at him and the impulsiveness and self-destruction within himself were a shoot-first ask-questions later duo that ruled his brain. He realized that you deserved more. More than him, more than the empty bed he left you with, or the avoidance of feelings. Sometimes Sirius wished you'd forget him. It would be better for you.

To forget his face, forget his name.

Your eyes began to pry open, and he couldn't help but spill his guts again. 

"For so long I hoped I'd fall asleep at the wheel and crash my motorbike on the ride home-" Your heart jumped to your throat, your head shooting up at the realization he was awake. His words were raspy and as much as he tried they were barely a whisper. "But then you came back from your apprenticeship, and moved right in front and it felt like-" he looked away now, his fingers fidgeting with yours. "Like you were that light at the end of the tunnel." Your hand was still pressed against his. 

"I stopped wanting to fall asleep on the bike, I just wanted to fall asleep with you"

"You are an idiot Sirius Black" The frustration gathered over the last two days flushed your system, tears threatening to fall over "you are so reckless and so utterly stupid-" tears flowed down your cheeks but you wouldn't let them fall, furiously wiping them away with your sleeve. He looked at you heartbroken. 

"I know love"

"No," you shook your head now and stood up, his hand falling back to the bed "You don't know, all I do is worry and care, and you don't!" your laugh came out crueler than you meant but it came out nonetheless "You never care Sirius- Oh and imagine when I don't see or hear from you for days, and suddenly you're dragged in here looking like you're seconds away from dying-" you paced around as you went on, your hands running through your hair in frustration.

"I didn't think you wanted to see me" he stared at you now, hoping to catch your gaze. Hoping to see if you meant it, hoping to see, something. Something that would tell him what he so desperately wanted to know. 

"I always want to see you" You locked eyes with his, his stupidly gorgeous stormy eyes. And he knew, from the pain in your eyes, from the way your pupils blew the second you looked at him, from the way you softened, anger dissipated when you looked at him. You didn't understand how anyone could look like that, how even scratched up he looked like he had been carved out of marble. "All I want is to see you," you were close enough for him to reach for your hand, even with pain shooting down his ribs, he did.

"I'm sorry,” you sat on the edge of his bed, closer than you had intended, as he spoke, looking at your intertwined hands. “and I’m sorry about the lass too-“

You scrunched up your nose, “I reckon that is none of my business” and he wondered how long you had to tell yourself that until you believed it.

”I sent her home, nothing happened-“

“you can go out with whoever you wish”

”I only want you” 

You looked at him again, into his eyes, into his soul. Hoping to catch a flicker of truth. His eyes looked at you with hope and want, and you knew. Sirius would never lie to you, he might be a drunk, and emotionally unavailable, and Merlin knows that he’s a mess, but Sirius Black was not a liar, especially to you. He squeezed your hands, pulling them close to his chest, pressing them against his heart.

”I’m so in love with you, you drive me mad,” he said this last part with a laugh, pulling a teary giggle out of you. You couldn’t help yourself, the wetness of your eyes and cheeks coming without you meaning it to. He swiped a thumb under your eyes, a nervous laugh threatening to spill from his lips, a watery smile forming instead.

“I am regrettably, in love with you as well” You smiled now, looking away from his scoff. His lips curled into a full-fledged smile now, as did yours.

“Am I that awful?”

”I fear so Mr Black,“ you glanced at him teasingly, the glint in your eye he loved so much returning. 

“I reckon you wouldn’t want to kiss a tosser like me then,” You couldn’t help but smile, as the both of you subconsciously leaned closer. His hands cupped your cheeks as your foreheads pressed together. “Can I—“

You didn’t let him finish, finally closing the distance between you. He kissed you shyly, a trait you didn’t know he possessed. You kiss him soft and open-mouthed, a small hum coming from his chest. His fingers hold on to your face, desperate to keep you close, and and you revel in the fact that his kiss turns hungry like he’d never get to kiss you again. 

You part with a small satisfied sigh, foreheads pressed against one another and eyes fluttered shut. Sirius thought about the many times he wondered what this would feel like, to press his lips against yours. He had dreamt of this for months; when you walked around your room in your underwear ranting or every time you opened the door, he dreamt of kissing you in the mornings and late at night.

Sirius realized, as he pressed another kiss to your lips, he had dreamt of kissing you for years.

[ecstarry]

@jegulus-microfic / rank / 705 words / game of truth or dare goes wrong, or not?

“Trust me Sirius, you will regret this,” Regulus whispered in his brother’s ears as everyone around them cheered for the next game. 

“I’m your big brother, I will never regret embarrassing you.” Sirius took Regulus by the shoulders and made him sit on a chair in the middle of the circle. It was the first party where both Sirius’ group of friends and Regulus’ were hanging out, it was Dorcas and Marlene’s idea now that they were dating. 

“The game is really easy, you take a drop of veritaserum, and someone gets to ask a question. Got it?” Everyone around the room hummed in confirmation as Regulus drank his dose of the potion. His eyes met James’ across the room, his boyfriend tried to conceal his nervousness with a smile. If their friends were smarter, Regulus was sure they would’ve picked up on their relationship by now, without the need of a veritaserum. 

First, they went through the normal round of questions just to make sure that the potion was working. No more than three questions in and Sirius decided it was time for the actual fun.

“Do I actually embarrass you, Reggie?” Sirius teased, but he was clearly eager for the answer. 

“No, you’re my favorite person and I love you.” A round of loud ‘awwws’ echoed in the room. “Oh shut up, and just ask another question,” Regulus blurted out. 

He immediately regretted it as he saw Barty’s mind clearly plotting something. 

“Okay, I have one. Dear Regulus, would you be so kind as to rank your best kisses?”

“Ew! NO!” Sirius quickly protested. 

From the corner of his eye, Regulus could tell how the question made James' heart race. This was not how they had planned to tell everyone they were dating. 

“Shhh! I want to know,” Remus insisted.

“I don’t! Knowing you two kissed when you did perfect rounds together is all the information I need about the matter!” Sirius was hysterical. 

“Just answer the question Reg, start with the third place,” Barty instructed. 

Regulus tried to fight the truth, this truly was the last way he wanted his brother and friends to know he had been dating Gryffindor’s golden boy. He once again searched for James’ eyes, and James was already looking at him, so lovingly. His boyfriend mouthed the words ‘it’s okay’, so Regulus took a deep breath and answered. 

“Fine. Third place would be Evan.”

“Quite the kisser you are too, love.” Evan blew him a kiss in response and everyone started laughing and commenting. 

“Shhh, I want to know who is in second place,” Dorcas intercepted. 

“Sirius, don’t hate me,” Regulus said as he closed his eyes and fought once more the words that were about to come out. “Second one is Rem-”

“I’M LEAVING!” Sirius announced loudly as he got up. 

“Sirius, don’t be dramatic, don’t you want to know who is actually first?” Remus said, trying to distract him. 

“Don’t worry, it’s me,” Barty said with an immense amount of confidence. 

“Ugh, it couldn’t get worse I guess,” Sirius mumbled as he sat on Remus’ lap. “If you say James I will fucking kill you, Regulus.”

Regulus' eyes widened and a violent blush crept from his neck towards his cheeks, without thinking he snapped his head towards James who was the same shade of crimson as him. Fuck. His reaction had been too noticeable. Everyone around had caught it, especially Sirius. 

“Regulus! Say right now that James does not have the first place in your fucking kissing list!”

Silence. 

“He does…”

The room erupted in a million loud voices laughing, screaming and questions aimed at both him and James. 

When did this happen!? 

How am I not on your list!?

Are you dating!?

Or are you fucking!?

Regulus began feeling dizzy and overwhelmed, he got up the chair to try to breathe but felt his legs falter. He felt familiar hands, calloused hands, warm hands steady him. James.

“It’s okay, baby,” James assured him as his arms wrapped around Regulus’ waist. 

James’ voice brought him back to reality, he saw Sirius approaching and couldn’t help the words that left his mouth with a laugh, “I told you so.”

They never played with veritaserum again.

more microfics here

[my-castles-crumbling]

test - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - word count: 239

"It's like a test, see?" Alice explained to the group, while Regulus stared with pinched eyebrows. "If you ask for an orange and he gives it to you already peeled, he loves you. If he doesn't, then...he doesn't!"

"That's ridiculous," Regulus said, disgusted. "Why the fuck would that matter?"

"Because he does the work for you?" Peter shrugged. "It's chivalry, I think."

But Regulus wasn't about to agree with that. "Hey, Jamie?" he called to James, who was standing in the kitchen with Sirius, animatedly discussing a Quidditch game. "Will you get me an orange?"

Not even looking up, James grabbed an orange from the bowl and tossed it to Regulus, who caught it in one hand.

But rather than feeling embarrassed at James's lack of initiative, he then yelled to James again. "Hey, Jamie?"

The other man looked up, stopping short in the middle of a sentence to meet Regulus's eyes.

"Would you rob a bank if I asked you to?" he asked, fluttering his eyelashes.

"Of course, love. Just say the word," James nodded, completely unphased.

"Hmm," Regulus hummed, grinning. "Would you kill someone if I asked you to?"

"Probably," James shrugged, still straight-faced.

"How about Sirius? Would you kill him?" Regulus pushed, smirking.

"If he deserved it," James laughed, dodging Sirius's punch.

"Too right," Regulus beamed.

And, turning back to his friends, he gave them a satisfied expression. "Keep your damn orange peels. That's true love."

[accio-sriracha]

The Water Is Fine

A Jegulus Oneshot

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"Come in, the water is fine!" James called to Regulus, his eyes holding a challenge.

Regulus watched him with amusement from the shade of a nearby tree. He didn't swim, this was a fact they all knew well. James, however, didn't seem to care, inviting him for the third time that evening to join them in the lake.

Regulus watched his brother's concerned expression as he swam over to James,

"Mate, you know he doesn't get in the water." He said, "What's the point in trying?"

James brushed him off, his eyes never leaving the boy resting beneath the tree,

"Sure he does." He said it loud enough for Regulus to hear, "He'll get in eventually."

"You're really going to do this right now?" Regulus called back.

He had to admit, he was a little impressed by James' persistence. James shrugged,

"It's as good a time as ever, isn't it?"

Regulus knew the words had double meaning for them, but pretended not to notice as he sighed and stood up, marking his place in his book.

The rest of their groups were there as well. Mary, Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas were having a chicken fight off to the left. Alice, Frank, and Pandora were diving to collect things on the lake's floor. Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus had previosuly been playing catch with a quaffle, before James turned his attention to Regulus instead.

Barty and Evan were... well, we probably should focus too much on them.

They all turned in suprise as Regulus stepped out of his shoes, resignation written on his face, and walked towards the water's edge.

"There he is!" James called grandly, holding his arms out, "The man of the hour! Come join us, the water's nice and warm!"

If they hadn't been shocked before, they definitley were now as Regulus actually stepped into lake.

"Will you shut up already?" Regulus hissed at him, "It's fucking cold, you liar!"

He continued to mutter under his breath as he made his way to James, "Always fucking pissing me off- Never have one good day with my books, can I-"

James waved him off, "Stop whining, you'll get used to it."

"Regulus what are you doing?" Sirius was openly staring at him in shock. Regulus didn't spare him a glance, too focused on where to place his feet,

"Coming over to kill your best friend, that's what I'm doing." He gasped when a place in the water was particularly freezing.

He didn't like the feeling of everyone's eyes on him, since they suddenly decided he was more exciting than whatever it was they were doing before.

He rolled his eyes. He was in the water, so what? Just because none of them had ever seen him step foot in the lake before doesn't mean it was that big of a deal.

"I thought you didn't swim-" Sirius started again, dumbstruck.

"He doesn't." James' smile was bright, the kind of all-consuming smile that made you forget the rest of the world existed.

As Regulus got to waist high waters the familiar trickles of fear started to kick in.

Sirius had a right to be surprised, nothing scared Regulus more than this feeling.

He was toeing the ridge he had been looking for, where safe standing water met the expansive depths underneath. A drop off so sudden he was surprised nobody had died in it yet.

But as he looked up, his heart slowed. He trusted James. James would make sure he was okay.

He watched as James nodded reassuringly, his breathtaking smile easing Regulus' nerves. Regulus nodded back, reminding himself again that James would keep him safe.

So, much to the panic of everyone else, he turned around, leaned back... and fell.

Right off of the ledge and into the drop off. Water splashed up around him. He sunk five- ten feet and falling fast.

Above the waves there were shouts, his friends pushing through the water to save him because, obviously, Regulus couldn't swim.

James, Sirius, Barty, and Mary were the stronger swimmers of the group, the latter three racing against the current to get to him.

But Regulus wasn't waiting for any of them.

In seconds there was a body pressed against his own. Warm hands against smooth skin, the zooming rush of water around them.

Yes, there he was.

James held him against his chest, using magic to propell them quickly through the water. Regulus could never get enough of this feeling, like he was flying.

As they burst up to the surface of the water again he could just barely make out the gasps from their friends.

They flew through the waves, Regulus' hands looked pale against James' tanned back from where he clutched James close.

And they were quite a sight to see, bright smiles and Regulus' shrieks of laughter, James weaved them this way and that, sometimes twirling them up into the air before dropping them back down.

It was a bit of water bending magic James had learned to keep Regulus safe when he was trying to teach him how to swim a few months ago, a deal they'd made in private to save Regulus the embarrassment.

Eventually, when Regulus' fears had proven too great, they'd given up on learning and starting using magic to push them across the waves instead. He and James had come here all the time since then, getting faster and faster at it, James continuing to try out new tricks.

James kept his hands wrapped tightly around Regulus' waist, his own laugh was wild and free.

Regulus leaned happily into James, he could feel James' heart thump rhythmically against his chest.

James rolled them over so Regulus was on his back when he stopped the spell. Regulus gripped James' shoulders tightly, as he always did when James swam them back to the safety of the shore.

This was where James had developed the habit of calling Regulus his starfish, because he held fast onto him when James was swimming; like a starfish to a rock.

Regulus remembered the first time he'd said it, when he'd lectured James for making fun of someone with such a large fear. It turned out to grow on Regulus, and now he could only find the name endearing.

"Show off." Regulus called over the sound of the water, leaning back so he could feel the breeze on his face.

James looked back at him, eyes shining, "Only for you." He smiled.

They made it back to a level Regulus could stand in and James carefully dropped him off, holding him steady until he was sure Regulus was okay.

Sirius stormed over to them, hitting James' arm repeatedly,

"Never. Scare. Me. Like. That. Again." He said, each word punctuated by a punch, "You could have hurt him! What if he'd drowned, Prongs? What then?"

James threw back his head in a laugh, moving to hide behind Regulus,

"I didn't do anything!" He protested. Dodging his next few attempts to attack.

Barty made it to them next, glaring at Regulus,

"I thought you were fucking dying you arsehole!" He shouted, "I had to leave Evan to save you! Do you know how hard that is?"

"Oh the horror. You had to stop making out for three whole seconds." Regulus teased.

"What the hell was that?" Evan demanded as well, looking between James and Regulus as he trudged through the water to the four of them, "I've never seen anything like that before."

James and Regulus shared a look. James cleared his throat,

"We've had some practice." He started slowly, "It's a thing we've been working on-"

"Wait, you've gotten in the water before?" Marlene asked, amazed, as the rest of the group appeared.

"Just a few times." Regulus told them.

"More like every weekend." James snorted, as always beginning to speak before he could think, "You practically begged me last time-"

Regulus cut him off with a threatening look.

Sirius was staring like he was seeing a ghost. Regulus could imagine why, he probably wasn't used to seeing Regulus like this, usually so cut throat and intense, suddenly laughing and beaming and clinging to Sirius' best friend of all people.

"I didn't even know you guys were close." Lily frowned, confused.

Regulus bit back a smile, glancing at James as also he tried and failed to control his expression. The light reflecting off the water made him look even more beautiful.

James wrapped an arm around Regulus' shoulders, "You could say that."

Regulus rolled his eyes again, "Prick." He hissed under his breath. James shot him a flashy grin.

Finally, it seemed to click.

"Holy shit." Barty took a step back, "Evan, they're-"

"I know, B."

"They're-"

"You don't have to say it, B."

"Evan, they're fucking each other!"

Evan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I thought I just told you not to say it?"

"You're together?" Peter called incredolously. James smiled, turning Regulus to face him fully. Regulus knew what was happening even before Jamesx eyes dropped to his lips,

"Jamie, no-" Regulus started, even though he was already melting against his touch.

"Jamie, yes." James replied, all smug smiles and firm hands as he pulled Regulus into a kiss, right there in front of everyone.

Regulus broke, leaning his forehead against his chest when they pulled away.

He'd never felt guilt and relief so simultaniously. It was like a weight lifted off his shoulders just to remind him of all he'd done wrong to get it there.

"You're together?" Sirius repeated quietly, still watching them with that same expression. Remus' hand was placed gently on his back, a motion Regulus often did to James to calm him down. He knew it well, Remus thought Sirius was about to explode.

"We were planning on telling you, it's only been two weeks since we actually got together-" James began nervously.

Regulus swallowed hard, Sirius was the person they'd been most anxious to tell, worried about how he'd react.

"This is fucking amazing." Sirius called, pulling them both into a crushing hug, "Merlin, my brothers! I'm so happy for you both!"

Regulus wasn't sure surprised was quite enough to cover what he was experiencing right now. He needed something more intense, somewhere around the intensity of a nuclear bomb might cover it.

"You're okay with it?" James asked skeptically, his hand intertwining with Regulus' seemingly without thought.

Sirius laughed, "Well it sure as hell beats thinking Regulus was going to drown." He replied, "But, honestly, I'm happy for you guys!"

People took their turns congratulating them, eventually, when the excitement had passed and everyone went back to their own activities again, Regulus turned to James,

"Can we go again?" He asked, giving him the look that he knew made James fold every time.

"Yeah, we can do it again." James laughed, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "I love you."

"I love you too." Regulus smiled, taking a deep breath in as he walked over to the ledge. He nodded to James, who was already muttering the spell under his breath.

And off they went once more, flying through the water in their own peaceful little bubble.

Regulus had never been more happy than he was right then, with James holding him close and all of their friends having fun in the distance. No more secrets. No more lies.

He found Sirius' eyes when James swam them back to the safer water, his smile was filled with approval.

Regulus relaxed against his boyfriend, there was no place on earth he would rather be.

[marlsswrites]

Summer camp AU, part 8!!

July 8th <3

Traditional - @jegulus-microfic - words: 797

First part Previous part

They were sat on their respective sides of the room, James on the left and Regulus on the right. James had a bored look on his face as he mindlessly flicked through his phone, Regulus with his face in a new book.

He flicked the page, the silence in the room suddenly too loud. He sniffed, flicking his eyes away from the book and towards James, who had resorted to attempting to flatten his hair, it wasn’t working.

“What are you doing?” Regulus chuckled.

“Does my hair look flat?” He asked desperately.

“No, it looks like a birds nest.” A groan. “I’m just being honest!”

James put the comb down and gave him a wonky smile. “I know.” He sighed and hung his head off the side of the bed, his hair now sticking straight up, Regulus resisted a laugh at the sight. “Can I ask something?”

“Depends what it is?” Regulus questioned, a quiver in his voice.

“When did you run away?” He got a weary look from Regulus. “I was just always curious why Sirius didn’t take you with him.”

He blinked slowly, it wasn’t an odd question to ask someone like him, yet coming from James it felt different. It was clearly something he’d been thinking about for a while, Regulus wanted to know why he cared so much though, judging as they met a mere few days ago.

Regulus stared at him for a moment, contemplating his next words, before he decided that James was the human embodiment of the sun, and could do no wrong even if he tried.

“I chose to stay.” James gave him an odd look. “Then as soon as I turned 18, I said goodbye to all of my parents traditional views, took the money they put away for me, and ran to Pandoras house.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Regulus snorted. “Now that’s enough of that.”

Letting out a chuckle, James nodded to him, now fishing out his laptop from under his pillow and going to stick a movie on, inviting Regulus over.

He smiled and walked over to the bed, watching as James chewed his lip in concentration as he picked a movie.

-

Don’t ask Regulus why he thought it would be a good idea to tell James to put a horror movie on, but it most definitely was the best idea he’s ever had.

“This one’s not even that scary!” He laughed out.

“Reg it’s two in the morning, and there’s a clown running around killing kids.” James gasped. “What the fuck!”

Regulus let out another snort, covering his mouth with his oversized jumper sleeve and watching as James’ eyes trailed pennywise on the screen.

“How are you laughing right now?” The older boy gave him a pointed look, turning his head to face Regulus, their noses close together and the dull light of the laptop illuminating James’ face.

Regulus coughed. “Don’t be such a wimp.”

Receiving a pout from James, he smirked in return.

Now they sat with nothing but the sound of the movie in the background, the occasional pitter patter of leaves blowing against the window and creak of the bed when either of them moved.

The scene now was quiet, the characters whispering and intense music building up. So Regulus positioned his lips right up against James ear and gave a short. “Boo.”

The James let out the highest pitched squeal known to man, jumping back and proceeding to glare at Regulus.

“That wasn’t funny!”

But Regulus was laughing, head thrown back against the wall, rosy aching cheeks and a lightness to his face that even he knew was rare.

James didn’t speak, Regulus looked over at him, smile still on his face as he raised a mocking eyebrow at the older boy. “You-“ He threw a pillow at Regulus. “Little shit.”

“Aw, but you like me.” Regulus spoke in a mimicking voice, blinking up at James. The brunette didn’t say another word, smiling and shaking his head fondly before looking back to the screen.

Regulus tried to avert his attention to the movie, he really did, but James looked so happy.

Yes, he looked good, jaw dropping gorgeous even. But it wasn’t just that, there was a kind twinkle in his eyes and a quirk to his lips, a genuine smile. Not the one he puts on for people, because he doesn’t have to do that with Regulus. It’s a sweet one, short, small, but sweet none the less.

He’d much rather watch James than the movie, he never realised just purely looking at someone be happy can bring him so much joy, bubbling up inside him and making him want to hold onto the smiling boy and never let go.

Next part

[annakaspring]

Officially the longest rant I've ever posted

Snater mauraders fans literally being the most shallow people on earth.

I will see them saying Snape deserved to be targeted and bullied. And the reason is always the same.

"he was creepy" how was he creepy? "He was obsessed with Lily and possessive of her."

oh, you mean like how James threatened to physically assault Lily if she didn't go on a date with him while simultaneously bullying her friend? While Severus did as Lily asked and left her alone when she said their friendship was over.

"He was racist." No, comparing the word mudblood a fictional slur to a real life racial slur is so ignorant, problematic and also completely disregards that there could be actual racism in the Harry Potter universe. And Snape is not a pureblood in fact he is way more muggle born than half blood as he grew up in a muggle neighborhood, wearing muggle clothes. Is what Snape called Lily right? No. could she have still been hurt? Yes. But I see the same people who bash Snape, Stan Malfoy who is canonically a pureblood who hates muggle-borns. Like be so for fucking for real rn.

"He was a nazi" Again, comparing a fictional "cult" to real life devastating history is ignorant and frankly ridiculous. But let's just humor that idea for a moment. Then why do I see maurader fans idolizing characters like Barry Crouch Jr? Or Regulus Black? Who not only joined the death eaters just like Severus did but were privileged purebloods who unlike Severus had money, a proper home, family. And in Barty Jr's case he is literally canonically evil.

"He was a bully." So was James, so was Sirius.And both James and Sirius are canonically described as being obviously well loved and privileged while Snape "so obviously lacked" that. Severus had reasons to be cold, stand offish and rude. had a terrible home life, neglectful if not straight up abusive parents, a single friend, depressed and was poor. What was James's excuse?

And I will see ppl who loooove Draco Malfoy yet despise Snape. Draco Malfoy, who is repeatedly voiced his pureblood prejudice so much as saying he wished death upon Hermione Granger simply for her blood status, was a HUGE bully, surely bigger than Snape ever was if he did ever bully (he didn't). Severus Snape used a slur once, once when he was a child while he was being SA'd and regretted it so much he never used the word again. While Draco literally never even apologized for his fanatical white supremacist behavior. "Well he didn't want to kill Dumbledore" I'm sorry but being too cowardly to kill someone does not equal being a good person.

"Oh well they changed, they grew up and became better." Did they? Where's the proof? Where's the evidence? I never saw Sirius own up to his actions. Remus still excused his friends bullying. "Well actually Draco actually liked Hermione the whole time. And that's why he was so mean to her" So? If anything that makes even worse. If a guy wished me dead, was openly vile to I wouldn’t suddenly be okay with it because he was actually attracted to me the whole time.

So what arguments do the Snaters have left?

Nothing, absolutely zero justification other than shallow, half baked reasons.

Severus Snape commits the most unforgivable sin. Being poor, morally grey AND ugly.

Because being poor can be forgiven as long as you're hot i.e Remus Lupin. But forbid they actually show signs of their class. Being malnourished, having hand me clothes, not being able to have proper hygiene. These are all things that actually happen to severely lower class individuals. Being a pureblood snob can be forgiven as long as you're hot. Being actually evil with zero justification is forgiven as long as you're hot.

People will twist and headcanon characters we get two pages of information on into fully fleshed out people with intricate backstories and believable justification for all their evil behavior.

Meanwhile bashing Snape who is one the most complex, dark, interesting character in the series. All because Snape is "ugly".

Because god forbid a character does not fit their rigid beauty standards and is actually complex and human.

And we're not gonna get into how literally not once was Snape ever explicitly described as ugly or how Draco Malfoy in the books described as having a pointed, rat like face.

And just to clarity I'm not trying yuck anybody's yum. Love the characters you love, stan evil ones, ship all the characters you want. I do! I ship character who make absolutely no sense in canon. create intricate stories for background characters all you want That's what fandom is all about. But don't act you have an actual reason for hating Snape while simultaneously stanning Voldemort and Barty Crouch Jr.

Be straightforward and say you don't like him because he does not fit your rigid cookie cutter beauty standards and you have no compassion.

Cheers,

[secret-writer-boy]

jegulus bad idea right au

exactly what it seems.

“Bloody hell,” says Barty, incredulous. “Did he really?” 

“Three hundred and sixty-five roses!” Regulus shouts. “For every day we’d been together! And they were all different colors!” he rubs his eyes and leans across the table to reach his cup of vodka. “Stupid arsehole-”

“Alright, Regulus, let’s not,” Dorcas moves the cup out of his range. “Don’t overdo it.”

Watching the cup, Regulus suddenly feels a stirring of irritation under his skin. “You’re not my keeper,” he says, rolling his eyes, a buzz of satisfaction suffusing him. He itches for a fight. “I can bloody moderate on my own without your mothering, Dorcas.”

“Well!” Dorcas rears back, clearly offended. “Someone’s got to make sure you don’t kill yourself.”

“And that’s you, is it?” Regulus glares at her. “You aren’t good for much of anything, then,” he barbs.

“Alright, Regulus,” Dorcas snorts, mocking for a moment before her features shift back to rage.

“Dorcas,” Evan sighs.

“No!” Dorcas cuts him off. “Reg always gets like this, and it’s always the same. We go out, he gets too drunk because he doesn’t know when to stop, someone has to interfere, and he’s awful about it!”

“Fuck you, Dorcas,” Regulus hisses. His chair gives a metallic scrrrrreech! as he shoves it back and gets to his feet. “I’ve got to use the loo.” Stalking away, Regulus tries to ignore his friends’ murmuring behind him. 

He knows it’s not healthy to still obsess over a relationship that ended months ago, and meant nothing anyways, nothing at all—”Oh, yes, tell Sirius all about this! Tell him everything, anything you haven’t already, you fucking liar”—he should have seen the breakup coming, really. Nothing good could have come of—

Regulus pauses. His phone is buzzing. Unknown Number, it says. 

Cautiously, he picks up. “Hello?”

“Regulus,” a voice replies. 

Regulus freezes. Even distorted by static, there’s no mistaking that voice. His voice. Oh, Regulus knows this voice. He’s heard it delighted; he’s heard it overjoyed; he’s heard it screaming; he’s heard it in ecstasy; he’s heard it in rage. Oh yes, oh yes, he knows this voice.

“James?” Regulus can hardly believe it—no, he can’t believe it. “James?” his breathing becomes slow and shuddering. 

“Hi,” James says, voice low and husky, and Regulus just wants to savor it forever, and maybe rip out James’ throat while he’s at it. Pent-up rage from their break up comes back to him in waves, and he wants to throttle James, really. But he won’t; Regulus is going to hang up right now and block James’ number and tell him to shove whatever he has to say up his arseh—

“Check your texts,” James tells him. 

Between one heartbeat and the next, Regulus thumbs to his texts. It’s James. How can he not?

Unknown Number: [Image Attached]

He opens the image and forgets how to breathe.

It’s him. It looks like he’s in bed—his eyes, his eyes are soft and light and oh so pretty and they’re difficult to see behind his glasses but Regulus manages (he always has) and his face is perfectly sculpted and his hair is so dark and silky and it’s short now, shorter, and still fucking messy and oh Regulus just wants to run his hands through—

“You got a haircut,” he says numbly.

“I miss you, Regulus,” and Regulus remembers the way James used to say his name like a prayer. Regulus remembers how deep and smooth his voice is—why oh why does he still have to want him so desperately?

“I—you do?” he hates how desperate he sounds.

“With everything in me,” James promises. Regulus knows it meant nothing. It meant nothing to either of them. None of it. He recalls the fights, and the rage, and the anger, and what came after—James against the wall; his hands on Regulus’ waist—it all meant nothing. Except…James doesn’t sound like it meant nothing.

“I miss you too,” his voice is hoarse, words slurring, and all he can think about is how warm James’ skin used to feel against his, and how his gorgeous hazel eyes would darken at night, and how he thinks he might die to see them do that again.

Ping!

There’s another message.

“James,” he whispers, horrified, maybe awed. “Is this your address?”

“Maybe,” and there’s no mistaking his tone; that’s his—that’s his flirty tone, is he really— “Want to find out?”

And later, Regulus will swear up and down that he thought it through, really he did, and decided it was the best decision—

I should probably, probably not. I should probably, probably not. I should probably—

“I’ll be there in ten,” Regulus says, and hangs up the phone.

What the fuck did I just do?

He’s almost numb as he texts his friends. Leaving now. I need to get some sleep. He ignores the texts, the questions that follow. All he can think of is James. James, James, James, who makes him want to die and scream and also explode from sheer frustration. Oh, he hates James. Oh, he wants James so desperately he thinks he might die if he doesn’t have him immediately.

(Nothing good could have come from fucking his brother’s best friend behind his back. Especially when said best friend was everything to him. Especially when—)

Now he’s getting in the car, wrecking all his plans, and he knows he should stop (but he can’t). He’s speeding a bit, and it doesn’t take long before Regulus is there at James’ fancy apartment (just like his old one), taking the elevator to the second floor, and standing by—

It’s him. 

James is smiling his gorgeous smile, his blinding smile that stretches from one corner of his face to another. 

“Reg,” and Regulus is on him, pushing him through the doorway and attacking his lips with a fervency. James opens his mouth between kisses, seeming to want to say something, but Regulus stops him.

“No talk, Potter,” he whispers, something in him burning with an intensity. “Show me how good you are.” 

And James, falling apart, does just that.

---

part 2?

[aithusarosekiller]

Things I think marauders aus can utilise more to add more depth and references:

Disclaimer: I'm not criticising people or telling them what to do I just think these aspects would be really fun to focus on

- Peter's silver hand. Yeah in canon he only gets it in 1995 but modern aus aren't going to follow the canon timeline! If you care enough to keep Remus disabled in aus I think Pete should be allowed his prosthetic, we can have more than 1 disabled character. He could've been born without a hand or gotten some form of illness or into an accident, there are so many ways you can cover it. If you feel weird about keeping his hand but getting rid of the way he got it, he could've had a messy past in organised crime that led to him losing his hand before his friends found him and helped him to pull out of it. He needs more background in general so that's a really cool way to cover two things in one,

- Regulus being a huge fucking martyr. We get a bit of this but I would love to see him making even more gigantic, unproportionate sacrifices, including his own life. It's one of the main things we know about him, he's all or nothing on everything so I think it's fun to look into how different situations can bring out that intrinsic part of his character.

- Dorcas' anger. She had so much rage and strength that she was able to take on Voldemort himself. She destroyed large parts of his army. If she gets angry, that rage in uncontainable. I feel like people shy away from that too much and aim to make her too palatable but her anger is so fun to explore and completely changed her character and motivations. She doesn't have unpredictable rage, it's very calculated and directed, but it's there. She probably carefully considers everything before it happens and that's why she's so powerful. She knows her skills and she knows how to use them.

- SIRIUS' ANGER AND UNPREDICTABILITY! He is so changeable and instinctive. He doesn't often think about consequences before he does things and tries to move on from situations in which he may have wronged someone with shocking swiftness. He never really considers how his actions may effect others and it will take a really strong word to get that through to him. That man is so damn stubborn. Let him be unreasonable, he doesn't need to be perfect all the time. He was raised in a house swarming with pride, you don't just suddenly abandon that.

- Marlene's connection to her family. We know her family are all killed together so what's her bond with them? A lot of people say she didn't get along with them -especially not her father- but is it more deep than that? Does she still have a sense of duty to them that draws her to visit them in the hopes things will fix themselves?

- Remus' self-preservation and self-pity. Does he do things because he wants to or because the people around him influence him to? He's more passive than active and given the choice, he'd remain in hiding during times of struggle.

[r0mantic-f00l]

Now I wanna read Sirius babysitting his little nephew/niece 🙏🙏 hehe

thank you for the request! this can be read as a part from my Meant to Be series with regulus or separate, but I thought this screams Paradise sirius

series masterlist

Serenity

Sirius Black is a fun uncle.

You could never have predicted that when he met his niece for the first time and panicked profusely over how he should carry her.

Now, he spins her around, he throws her up in the air (not too high, sometimes), and he dances with her to Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin, the volume cranked high. This is why Regulus is always reluctant to let his mess of a brother babysit his baby. Nevertheless, Sirius still does.

-☆-

You entertain Regulus' baby by making funny faces, funny noises, playing peek-a-boo.

The girl is not impressed.

You huff, reminiscing over a time where a simple smile would make her giggle as if it was the funniest thing ever. You blame Sirius for the baby's high standards of humour now.

"Darling?" Sirius calls out to you from the kitchen.

"Yeah?" You respond back, standing up from the floor whilst lifting the baby carefully into your arms, and holding her on your hip.

"You don't give babies water, do you?"

"No!" You answer quite quickly, knowing that Sirius would fill up the baby's milk bottles with water.

"Right, right. Just making sure."

You hear some fumbling from the kitchen before Sirius walks out with a baby blanket folded over his shoulder and a bottle of milk (which you hope is formula).

He is the perfect image of a father, not a babysitter, not with the way he gazes at you and his niece with such adoration.

He coos at the baby in your arms, poking her cheek which makes her laugh.

"You're so cute, I just wanna bite your hand off." Sirius speaks in a high-pitched voice, making you grin as you watch the cuteness aggression take over.

He rests his hand on your waist as the other hand lifts the bottle of milk to the baby's lips and he smiles as she wraps her tiny hands around the bottle, drinking the liquid.

"I can't wait to have one of these one day." Sirius sighs.

"You still are one of these." You muse, laughing to yourself when Sirius glares at you with faux offense.

"Am not." His pout doesn't help his case.

-☆-

As the sky grows darker, the baby grows tired, falling asleep in Sirius' arms as she breathes softly in her slumber.

She must be the cutest baby in the world, you think. Must be the most precious creation to ever exist.

"You know," Sirius begins, his loving gaze still on the baby's face.

"I would kill for her."

"I know."

He glances up at you and smiles.

"I'd kill for you too."

You smile.

"I know."

His stare lingers on you, a peaceful stare that shows you just how much he treasures you deeply.

"What do you think about having children one day? With... with me?"

You hum, pretending to consider his question for a moment, as if you need to consider it. You have been dreaming about starting a family with Sirius Black since the day he held his niece for the first time.

"I think it would be amazing."

His smile grows. "Amazing?"

"Amazing. Wonderful. Scary."

Sirius chuckles and glances at the baby in his arms once more.

You watch him, the serenity that falls over him, the lingering smile on his face, the amazed gaze from his eyes.

"I think you'd be a perfect father."

He looks up at you.

"I think you'd be a perfect mother."

The baby coos in his arms, stirring slightly before resuming her peaceful sleep.

You know that both you and Sirius are not ready for a baby just yet, but the day that you are, it will only add to the serenity that is your life with him.

-☆-

[wisteria-lodge]

hullo i got what if scenarios and was wonderin if let's say the malfoys are on the light side, and there is a prophecy that draco is the chosen one and lucissa doesn't end up dead in the beginning do you think that lucissa would want draco to be the chosen one and have the fate of the ww on his shoulders? (for this scenario i was simply wonderin how you'll think lucissa and severus will react)

and what if they are actually on the dark side but draco still is a chosen one, how do you think lucissa and severus react and what would they do

Oh man, if the prophecy Dumbledore heard and Snape overheard referred to DRACO? hold on I bet I can rewrite it real quick ~

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have long aided him, born as the sixth month dawns... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...

Severus immediately knows this talking about the Malfoys' kid (Narcissa is still pregnant.) He tells Narcissa and Lucius.

There is absolutely no debate or discussion. If either Draco or Voldemort has to die, they're going to protect Draco with everything they've got.

Lucius calls his Gringotts representative. Tell him to liquidate everything and move as much money as possible into off-sea accounts, like, yesterday.

Narcissa, heavily pregnant, grabs the Diary and Severus and takes them both straight to Dumbledore. She's not going to to be happy until one (preferably both) of them make an Unbreakable Vow to protect her unborn child.

Narcissa says she's relocating to St Mungos, using her pregnancy as an excuse. Really, she's locking herself down under the Fidelius Charm. Lucius is secret keeper. She decides to stay in of of Mad-Eye Moody's safehouses. He can stick around as a body-guard.

Lucius goes straight to Barty Crouch Senior, who is kinda running the show at this point. Actually, because he's good at people, Lucius makes sure he tells his story while Crouch's much more sympathetic wife is in the room too. He starts with, "I know what your son's been doing, but he's not in too deep, not yet. Do exactly what I say, and we can get him out."

Severus stays with Voldemort as an inside man. He does his spy thing, and feeds info to Lucius and the Ministry + Dumbledore and the Order. They start co-ordinating efforts. Death Eaters start dropping like flies.

Voldemort realizes the Malfoys took the Diary with them when they defected. Flies around checking on all the other horcruxes like he does in Book 6. Realizes that the Locket is also gone - and reads Regulus' taunting letter about how he took it and is about to to destroy it. Voldemort retrieves the cup and the the ring, and takes them back to base to protect. Severus relays this information, and now Dumbledore is 100% sure that Voldemort is using multiple horcruxes.

Severus poisons a bunch of Death Eaters (including himself, to avoid suspicion) and frames Bellatrix. After all, she's the link here. Her sister and her cousin both defected, and at about the same time too. The incidents can't be unrelated, it must be coming from her. Might not she be feeding information to her cousin, Sirius Black? If Severus is able to steal Hufflepuff's cup and replace it with a forgery, that would absolutely seal her fate.

Voldemort freaks out, kills Bellatrix. Severus is out of there in the chaos, and he's got the real cup.

He tells his story back at base. Sirius realizes that if Regulus told anyone what he did with the real Locket, it would have been Kreacher. Kreacher just straight up *has* it. Dumbledore brings the Cup, Diary, and Locket out to the hut-on-the-rock, and blasts the whole thing with fiendfyre from the air.

Down to just the Ring and the Diadem (but he can't *get* to the diadem.) Voldemort is panicking. I think at this point he just runs - kills any Death Eaters that are left alive because they know too much.

... with the possible exception of Barty Jr. He's useful, he's a true believer, and he's the only one powered-down Voldemort *really* trusts in Book 4. I think Voldemort does something creepy though, like tell Barty Jr. to cut off his own arm so he can replace it with one of those loyalty-enforcing silver arms, like he did with Wormtail.

Voldemort and Barty are probably making plans to run and hide: Maybe track down Flamel and the Philosopher's Stone, maybe track down the Resurrection Stone. This is made harder by the fact that Lucius Malfoy froze all the Death Eater bank accounts, but I think they manage.

BUT Dumbledore lures Voldemort into the Hall of Prophecy, and uses the prophecy about the newborn Draco to get Voldemort out into the open. He can absolutely still do this even if he's made an unbreakable vow to protect Draco - his reasoning goes that by forcing Voldemort's hand now, when he's weak, it's actually much safer for Draco than waiting until he's built up his power base again.

Voldemort starts to become obsessed with Draco. Everything started going wrong once *Draco* became a thing. He sends Barty to safety with the ring, and goes to find Lucius.

Lucius gives up the location of the house where Narcissa and Draco are - but it's a trap. The Order and the Ministry are there waiting for him, and Narcissa and Draco are long gone. Sadly, I don't think Lucius makes it out of this one. I don't see a world where Voldemort doesn't kill him. But, since he did go to his death willingly and didn't *have* to die - that's Lily's love protection magic, protecting Draco.

Barty Crouch Senior sends the entire might of the Ministry after his son, and I do think is able to track him down and retrieve the Ring. I think Barty jr is captured and is going to go to Azkaban... when the silver hand kills him, preventing him from revealing any of Voldemort's secrets. The Ring is destroyed and Crouch comes out of this with his political career intact, and probably becomes Minister of Magic.

Draco grows up absolutely aware that he is the Chosen One, and is absolutely insufferable about it. Eventually does come across Ravenclaw's diadem (the final horcrux) while attempting to fix the Vanishing cabinet because he and Harry are trying to sneak into Knockturn Alley. Writes to tell his mother that Professor Quirrell is walking around with a very suspicious limp and a very ugly turban. Also something is killing the unicorns in the forrest, and maybe Mr. Potter and Mr. Black should check it out.

[florsial]

Evan is a disowned heir of a rich family who ends up as the Victorian doctor who performs illegal surgeries and wanders the streets at night kidnapping prostitutes or just anyone unfortunate enough to be sleeping in an alleyway, and harvesting their organs for the Black Market to support himself and his twin sister Pandora who was also disowned, as she tries to get her education complete enough to secure a full-time teaching job as a professor at a well-known university. They bear the posh accents and elegant mannerisms of their wealthy birth. The twins live in a run-down, cheap, and dirty flat in a building owned and forgotten by the aristocratic Crouch Family where their only son, a sleazy and lecherous professor named Barty, often runs off too to avoid his father.

Barty somehow becomes friends with Pandora and endears himself to Evan, who he pays absurd amounts of money as a resurrectionist for his lectures at the university. Over time it becomes less for his lectures and more of an excuse to talk to Evan more often. One day, Barty decides to follow Evan and finds him dissecting people in dank alleyways and just watches in amazement before running off back to his house and spending the entire night drinking absurdly expensive alcohol and just thinking about Evan and his blood-streaked blonde hair and steady hands and mindless humming. The next day, Barty cannot keep his cool and has to leave earlier than usual or else he might jump Evan and impulsively sends the guy a bunch of photos containing cadavers and organs as a pathetic attempt at flirting. He was actually supposed to use those photos for his upcoming lecture and had to ask another professor at the university if he could borrow theirs.

Meanwhile, Regulus is the fiance of a wealthy aristocratic heir who ran away after getting caught in a scandal where he publicly berated and attempted to physically attack his to-be-husband and his mistress, who was the wife of another aristocrat. Due to his pride, he chose to run away on his own terms instead of being disowned. He quickly comes to the conclusion that he doesn't understand how to navigate life without his family's support so he turns to prostitution and caters to broke lower-class men and women who want to delude themselves with the illusion of a comfortable and wealthy lifestyle with Regulus' elegant and upper-class mannerisms and speech. He finds the job isn't all too different from when he was pandering to the society around him back with his parents. At his job, he meets Evan, who nearly tries to kill Regulus without looking properly, and he immediately recognizes him from dinner parties, balls, and shared private tutors so there is just this moment when Evan has Regulus pinned to the ground with a pair of scissors at Reg's throat and his eyes just brighten like "Hey! I know you!" and Regulus is like "😨" and hyperventilating. Regulus eventually moves in with the Twins, much to their delight.

On the terms of Jegulus, because I can't help myself, the news of Regulus' runaway reaches Sirius who was aboard studying and he flees home back to London immediately and spends a week running back and forth from his parents to the Potters' and their son, James, a politician. Mainly just him screaming at his parents for their poor parenting and running to the Potters' to cry about where Regulus could've possibly went or if he's alive. This repeats for about a week and is how James becomes familiar with Regulus, through Sirius' pov, and the situation that has occurred. Everything kinda just marinates in his head for some time until he's out at night and thoroughly frustrated with his occupation and its details, runs into Regulus, who, not knowing it's James, offers his services with a teasing voice and alluring eyes. When he does recognize James, he immediately makes a run for it, leading to a 12 am cat and mouse chase between a sophisticated politician and riches to rags prostitute. Eventually, James corners Regulus, but finds that he literally has no idea what to do so they just stand in an alleyway dead end in silence for a long time until:

"I won't talk if you don't talk."

"Deal."

James tries to take Regulus up on his earlier offer but both of them feel a little too weirded out after a small make-out session so James just sends him a stack of money and runs off. Should've been a done deal, right? Nope, James finds himself walking that same street a couple days later and sees Regulus again, it spirals into a long range of nightly hangouts where they would just sit on a bench and talk, without anything physical, and James would drop money in Regulus' hands and run off, repeat. The arrangement works for them nicely and is how they fall in love. Which is disastrous actually because then James avoids Regulus like a plague for a couple of days and during those couple of days, Regulus focuses his attention on clients who like James in some way. When they meet up again, it awkward asf but they kiss once and walk away with “Are we together???” In their heads.

[reguluskeys]

jegulus snippet - 1036 words - i’m a very amateur writer </3

cw: self hatred (im projecting)

cody if you see this no u don’t

The moment James saw Regulus in the astronomy tower that night, he knew something was off. He had his legs to his chest and was resting his head on top, staring at the stars. James slowly walked towards him, and sat down with one leg dangling over the edge.

Regulus either didn’t notice him or was simply choosing to ignore him, so James tried again to get his attention.

“Reg? You ok?” James nudged the boy's shoulder. When Regulus finally looked over, James saw the face he’d seen a million times from Sirius, only- well it was different. While James could read every signal on Sirius’ face to know exactly how he was feeling, Regulus seemed to have a wall up. His lips were pressed into a line and his eyebrows were knit together into almost a scowl, but his eyes… His eyes were filled with a deep sadness that James wished he could pluck from Regulus and give to himself, just to never see it on the boy again.

Regulus’ eyes flickered, looking James over, before turning back to the night sky. “I’m fine,” he mumbled. James let the silence sit between them for a minute as he too stared at the Stars. He wondered if Regulus or Sirius were out tonight.

“Well… Something’s definitely wrong… but you don’t have to talk about it! I’ll be your ‘shoulder to cry on or whatever they say!” James gave Regulus a smile that could melt anyone’s heart.

Regulus tried to hide the small smile but James caught it immediately and laughed. “Oh! Is that a smile? Did Regulus Black just smile?” Regulus rolled his eyes but the smile didn’t fall. “Well this must go in the history books. Wizards for generations must learn of the- dare I say gorgeous - smile that you have. Personally, I feel blessed-!” Regulus cut him off with an elbow to the stomach but James just kept laughing.

“Shut up!” Regulus said, laughter in his voice. “My smile isn't- it's not ‘gorgeous.’” He let one of his legs fall and dangle over the edge, mirroring James.

“Uhm, yes it is! You even give Sirius a run for his money! Don't tell Remus I said that. Or Sirius.” At the mention of his brothers name, the smile on Regulus’ face faltered. James immediately noticed.

“Hey, you ok? Did I say something wrong?” James leaned towards Regulus and lightly put his hand on the boys shoulder. Regulus tensed and went slightly red, though James barely noticed.

“I’m fine,” he paused for a moment. “Merlin it’s just, why does Sirius treat me like I'm still 9?!” Regulus let out a frustrated groan and let the other leg fall over the edge. “Yes, I love Sirius and I want to make amends but I can fight my own battles, I can make my own decisions! He acts like I'm still the crybaby who would sneak into his room at night because I was scared a bogart was in my room, or the kid who never spoke to anyone but him because I was scared to embarrass myself.”

Though it was probably not the best moment, James was enchanted by Regulus. He’d never heard the boy speak that many words at once, let alone the amount of passion and emotion.

“I love him but sometimes I just want to strangle him or drown him in the lake!” Regulus made a vague gesture, strangling the air in front of him as though it was Sirius’ neck. James let out a small snort that Regulus thought sounded weirdly similar to that of a stag, but the thought was overtaken by the sudden embarrassment. His face was suddenly bright red.

“Well now that someone has heard my incoherent ramblings about my brother I must either kill you or myself, and right now I'd rather it be me, so goodbye James. Tell Barty he can’t have my money.” Regulus said in a completely monotone voice and began to stand up on the ledge.

“Hey wait! If you kill yourself now you’ll never be able to beat gryffindor at the quidditch match- well not that you would, i’m the best captain the schools ever seen, but you wouldn’t even get to try!” James scrambled to pull Regulus back down next to him. Regulus huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Fine, i won’t kill myself. But in exchange for you hearing that… I need to hear one of your secrets now. Not that James Potter would have much to hide.” Regulus rolled his eyes and James let out a chuckle.

James had never been a private person, everyone knew when he liked a girl or if he hated a class. Everyone could tell when a marauders prank was about to be in motion because James simply did not have a poker face.

There was one thing though. Something not even Sirius knew. His small smile didn’t falter as he looked straight ahead and spoke.

“Sometimes, I really, really hate myself.” James spoke in a calm voice, as if he’d just stated his favorite color, and not something that had just shattered Regulus’ view of the entire world. The boy just stared at James, and when he finally realized Regulus wasn’t going to say anything, he continued.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don't think I'm a bad person… I have great parents, great friends, I get good marks, I'm a quidditch captain, and if I tried hard enough I could get almost any girl I wanted, but…” James moved his glasses off his face and held them infront of him. “I don’t know I guess, sometimes there’s just something in the back of my brain telling me i’m a terrible person- that everything I do is wrong or that i’m not doing enough. Then I think about all the things i’m lucky enough to have and I hate myself even more for even having those feelings in the first place.”

Regulus took a moment to truly look at James. Not the dumb-jock facade he showed the school, no he looked at the James who despite being the embodiment of sunshine, was burning inside. The James who had bad days and the James who sometimes hated himself.

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Honey, our boyfriend drowned!

Barbie dolls: jegulus x gn!reader

Word:5.1k

Summary: lemme set the scene: Regulus' car crashes into the lake on his drive to work most definitely killing him and then some mystique happens and I get too lazy to write actual plot but I add some sad and cute and JUST FUCKING READ IT ITS FUN AND NICE

Warnings: regulus dies (or does he mwhahaahha), lots.of talk of grief and death and blood and nasty and self hatred you and James are going through it, regulus with a cane and long hair, talks of the war but it's the tiniest mention, Barty has attachment issues, there is some cringe bc believe it or not Im cringey as a person so it just happens, regulus speaks Google translate French, James speaks Google translate Hindi, I had so much fun writing this.one and that's so stupid bc Its literally about death but it was a hoot, brotherly love, peter included SUCK MY DiCK OH MY GOD, oh James takes a picture OH and there's a cordless phone but I was personally thinking of the big clunky ones that sat on the wall you know, insinuations of the cave, Sirius says Jesus Christ in shock you say Gods no in shock yodabba dabba, everyone are friends I watched MLP okay everyone loves each other now, take a shot everytime I say warm, you cry, I quit

While you and James were in school, you started dating a boy named Regulus. He was beautiful and graceful. Your relationship continued outside the bounds of the school walls. Once you and James graduated you got a home and Regulus joined you both a year later when he graduated. Domestic life was wonderful for the three of you. And then Regulus died. 

It was hard to believe. How could your boyfriend disappear right out from under both of your noses? He left for work one day and didn’t come back. It was like the world paused after that. The walls wept with you both. The house seemed smaller and tighter because everywhere you looked were remnants of him. His books were on the shelf with his writing inside. His additions to the grocery list were still on the fridge. His fancy shoes for events sitting by the door. His winter coat is on the rack. You could still smell his cologne. Maybe that was because James would spray it on Regulus' pillow and clutch it to his chest while he slept. Your day together as a couple consisted of sitting on the couch in silence and staring ahead listening to the clock tick. 

His death put a strain on your relationship. You could barely take care of yourselves. How could you love another person when you could barely work up enough energy to cry? So you both floated around the house silently like you were the ones dead. You didn’t talk to James for weeks. 

Everyone around you seemed to take a hit from Regulus’ death. Evans and Barty became reclusive, you hadn’t heard from them in months.

Dorcas started bouncing around her friends’ homes, staying the night on a new person’s couch because she was scared to leave anyone alone. They’d slip from her grasp like Regulus did if she didn’t stay with them.

After a few weeks, Mary and Lily took on the role of caretaker. Bringing people dinners and shoving them into the shower so they’d bathe every once in and while.

Marlene tried to crack jokes with people, she was most definitely the kind of person to joke until her pain went away.

Pandora spent all her days sitting in a rocking chair in front of the window. You checked on her once and asked her how she was. She told you, without looking away from the window, ‘I had a premonition about this four years ago. It’s scarier in real life. I can’t just crawl into his bed and press my fingers to his pulse. I’m living in a nightmare.’ You sighed and patted her shoulder, leaving her with the wisest words you could muster: ‘Me too, Panda. Me too.’ 

Peter is in the nearest Library every day, reading all of Regulus’ favorites. He even came over a few times to borrow some of Regulus’ personal books.

Remus found a French cookbook and started making his way through it one recipe at a time as a way to get up and do something. He said he thought of Regulus with each dish and it made the pain recede like an ocean wave. 

Sirius took it the hardest, for obvious reasons. He laid on his couch all day, staring at the bookshelf next to the TV. Remus said he couldn’t convince Sirius to move to the bed. He’d only to get up to use the bathroom. Remus would have to sit next to the couch on the floor and feed him so he didn’t wither away. Remus eventually realized Sirius was staring at the picture of him and Regulus sitting on the shelf. After a long time, Sirius finally moved from the couch, instead taking his tears to his bed. You didn’t see Sirius for weeks. 

When Regulus’ funeral arrived it was obvious the impact he left. All 12 of you stared at the empty coffin as it settled into the ground. You didn’t even get the peace of knowing his body was resting in the coffin. They never found it. They found his car in the lake with a massive hole the size of his fancy car on the side of the bridge overhead. The police said his body probably drifted down the attached river into the woods. It was likely his body was scavenged by animals. It did nothing to settle your mind. 

Your lover drowned and then was torn apart by wild animals? Great, glad he’s resting peacefully. All of his things were in the car too. The book he was trying to finish during the month of the crash. His bag with his wallet and every other personal item you could think of. He even still had Pandora’s hair clip on the strap. His blood was on the seat and front windshield. Cops said it was impossible for him to have survived, especially with the amount of blood that was lost. He left for work, taking the route he always did, and died in the process. 

It took a long time but you all eventually healed from it. Of course, it still hurt when you were reminded of it but you slowly got back to your average life.

Sirius got off the couch. Dorcas slept in her own bed. Marlene finally cried. Lily and Mary started making food only for themselves. Remus put his cookbook on the shelf, next to the picture. Peter moved out of the libraries, finding new books. Barty and Evan even joined you and James on a double date once. Pandora moved away from the window. You and James stopped being zombies dancing around each other. You finally talked it through and cradled the other through the night, Regulus' pillow was shoved into the closet. 

You asked your friends for help to pack all of Regulus’ things into boxes. It was terribly hard to move on when his presence was still staring you in the eye. You told Sirius he could stay home but he still showed up. He helped you pack up Regulus’ clothes, taking back the band shirts Regulus stole from him. He even used one as a tissue when he cried about it.

With too many people in your house, you were all able to stuff Regulus into three separate boxes. Remus helped James move them into the attic. even though you wanted him hidden away in boxes didn’t mean you wanted to sell his presence away. You hugged everyone goodbye. It was a sour goodbye, the memory of Regulus’ loss fresh on their minds but happy they got to see all their friends again. 

You, along with all the others, had your good and bad days. You’d say an inside joke Regulus came up with and spend the rest of the day crying next to the window. Some days you’d blossom and be like you were years ago. As time went by your bad days became more and more far apart. You and James’ relationship was going strong, you felt like you were in school again. In a positive way. 

After a long brunch with Remus and Sirius full of laughs, you and James went home and relaxed. James left to go take a nap and you started reading by the window facing out towards the road that led to your doorstep. After you got through four chapters, James was rising from his nap and kissing you good morning. Though it was really more of a late afternoon, you didn’t correct him. He left to go make himself a snack, still in his pajamas. You continued reading.

As you heard the timer go off for James’ food you glanced up to see if he was getting it. You saw him through the opening, reaching over for the pot on the oven. You moved to look back at your book, pausing when you saw someone on the sidewalk. You were an avid enjoyer of people-watching. 

It was a man who left your boots feeling shaken. His hair was longer, reaching down to kiss his back between his shoulder blades. He walked with a limp. He was classily dressed. At the top of his cane was a bird skull. He was dressed in all black and had various silver jewelry hanging from his body. His hair was falling into his face as he stared at the ground. You glanced down at the ground to see his shoes, finding they were just as fancy and put together as he was. You looked back up at his hair, trying to see if you could figure out how he maintained it so perfectly.

As you dragged your eyes up, he shook his head back. His hair flew back revealing his scarred face. There was a scar parting his eyebrow and making a trail across his cheek to his ear. You saw one peeking out from the bottom of his jaw and dipping under his high-collared shirt. 

Even with all the changes you recognized him. You sprung out of your chair, flinging your book back towards the coffee table. You heard it clatter to the floor. 

“James! Call Sirius!” You yelled as you scattered towards the front door, knocking over items on your way. 

“What? Why?” James asked from the kitchen opening. You spun your head back towards him. You probably looked like a frazzled crazy person. You felt like a frazzled crazy person. You were either hallucinating or really watching your dead lover walk down the street. 

“Call Sirius, James.” You said, your tone nipping at his hand and making him turn around for the phone hanging in the kitchen. You flung open the front door, ignoring your shoes and the fact the door smacked against the wall.

You weren’t entirely sure Regulus, or at least what you thought was Regulus, wouldn’t run away if he saw you coming. You ran down the concrete steps and your driveway. You ignored the fire the rough ground started on the bottoms of your feet. James stood on front doorstep with the phone pressed to his ear. You caught snippets of his words as you moved to the end of the driveway, staring down the sidewalk. 

“I don’t know.” Your chest heaved as your mind caught up with what you were looking at. “Just said to call you.” You stared at the man in black walking down the center of the sidewalk. “Bein’ weird.” You saw the man stop his walking as you stood in his way. 

“Regulus?” You yelled. The man stood still. You took a step towards him. James had settled silent. “Regulus? Baby, is that you?” You yelled down the sidewalk. He was standing on the sidewalk in front of your neighbor's house, still staring at the ground. Hr pulled his head up, facing you. Even from a far distance, you could recognize him.

Your body started running before your brain could even tell you to. Regulus picked up his pace, a nice brisk walk. You doubted he could go much faster with his apparent hurt leg but you didn’t care. Your undead lover was on your sidewalk. You picked up your pace, letting your lungs burn. Your heart was burning more, the pain from knowing you’d never see Regulus mixing with the hope that he was really walking down your sidewalk. 

“Holy shit.” You heard James say from the first doorstep. “Listen uh, Sirius, I’m going to have to call you back. I think we might be hallucinating right now.” James said. You heard the quiet clatter of the phone on the table next to the front door. You and Regulus stopped with barely two feet between you too. Your chest heaved. You thought your ribs might explode.

Regulus was beautiful even with the scars and obvious dark experiences lingering behind his eyes. You couldn’t imagine what happened in the past year and a half but he was still Regulus after all this time. You felt like you shouldn’t cry because he might feel guilty and leave again. You closed the gap between you two, wrapping your arms around him. Regulus sighed with his chin pulled over your shoulder. You heard his cane drop to the sidewalk, his weight leaning into yours. 

You gripped the onto the back of his shirt, crying into his shoulder. Regulus held onto you just as hard. You felt James’ arms join yours, holding onto Regulus. After a few moments of Regulus finally feeling at home and you and James realizing you did all that crying for nothing, you all pulled back. Regulus wobbled a second, before leaning on his other side. James quickly dipped down and held Regulus’ cane out to him. Regulus thanked him, leaning his weight back on the cane. 

“You’re alive.” You said, sticking your hands your hands out at Regulus. He gave you a one-shouldered shrug. 

“There’s a lot I need to tell you,” Regulus muttered, glancing down at the cane. You shook your head, reaching out for him again. You let your hands cup his face. 

“Oh let me look at you.” You traced the scars on his face. You tugged lightly on the ends of his hair. You let your hands dip down, tracing over the necklaces. You looked down at the metal skull buckle on his belt, grinning at his fancy shoes again. Even after all the changes, he was still in his stupid shoes. 

“You’re so beautiful, my love. I can’t believe you’re alive.” You said, cupping his face again. Regulus hummed and tilted his face into your hand. You pulled back and let James pull Regulus into his arms. James cradled Regulus’ head to his chest just as he used to when Regulus got bad nightmares. Regulus let out a gasping sob, digging his nails into James’ forearm. James closed his eyes and pressed his nose to Regulus’ hair. 

  A few minutes later Regulus was sat at the table with his favorite tea hugged between his hands. You watched him from across the table, tracking his every move. It was weird looking at him. Aside from the fact you thought he was dead, it was a stark change.

You got to watch James slowly change parts of himself over the year. The wrinkles near his eyes got more prominent, he cut his hair, and he got new shoes, etcetera. You went from seeing Regulus with hair shorter than his chin to watching him flick it over his shoulder. You saw him with the clear and pristine skin he took pride in the scarred look he was sporting now. Regulus pursed his lips and blew on the hot tea in his hands before flicking his eyes up to you. You didn’t shy away from the fact you were staring at him. James wandered into the dining room his phone pressed to his ear. 

“No Sirius, I’m being ser-I’m being for real. You need to get over here now, you’re not going to believe this.” James said, leaning on the doorframe and staring at Regulus. Regulus stuck his hand out at James, wiggling his fingers. James raised an eyebrow ‘You sure?’. Regulus shook his hand, ‘yes.’. James handed the phone to Regulus. Regulus pressed the phone to his ear. He cleared his throat. 

“That coffin was uncomfortable, dickhead.” Regulus said before pulling the phone away from his ear and hanging it up. He set it on the table and took a slow sip from his tea. 

“I think you just gave him a heart attack,” James said. You hummed, staring down at the phone. 

“Yeah I’m not sure if that was the best action but it was a very Regulus thing for you to do so at least some things haven’t changed. “ You said, handing the phone off to James. Regulus closed his eyes as he pulled his tea away from his lips. 

Minutes later Sirius was bursting through your door with Remus tailing fast behind him. Sirius peered into each room, making haste to search the house. Regulus set his tea down. Sirius stood in the dining room doorway, frozen in place. Regulus stood from his chair, leaning on his cane and sighing as he did so. He tilted his head to the side, making a small spin to show off his new look. 

“Jesus Christ,” Sirius muttered. 

“that’s who he looks like, I was trying to place it,”  you said, sighing and smacking James’ bicep. Regulus faces Sirius again, holding his arm out. Sirius closed the space, pulling Regulus into a hug. They rocked side to side. You thought of shooing everyone out but you also wanted to watch Sirius’ reaction. Sirius pulled back and smacked Regulus on the crown of his head. Regulus glared at him, obviously, it wasn’t hard. 

“Don’t you ever do that again you dick,” Sirius said, before cupping Regulus’ face. He grimaced and shook his head. 

“You look like me in fourth year,” Sirius whispered, running his hand through the length of Regulus’ hair. Regulus hummed. 

“I thought so too. I missed home, so I grew it out. I plan on trimming it soon though, not really me.” Regulus whispered. Sirius hummed and traced the scar down Regulus’ eyebrow with his thumb. 

“What’d you do?” Sirius asked. 

“I ended a war before it started, the usual break year plans. I almost drowned and fought off some weird gremlin things. It’s a story.” Regulus said, waving off Sirius’ look of concern. “I’m fine now, other than the trauma I hold with water. But I managed to figure it out. I just take showers weird now.” Regulus added, once again downplaying the severity. 

“Well, your funeral was a waste of time,” Sirius said, turning back around to stand next to Remus. Regulus shrugged. 

“Did you guys cry?” You, James, Remus, and Sirius shared looks. You all shrugged. 

“Eh, not really.” 

“I mean what even classifies as crying these days, you know.” 

"So much I got dehydrated"

“After the first couple of days, it was a breeze.” Regulus rolled his eyes and pulled his tea off the table. 

“So did you guys sell all my shit?” He whispered into his cup. You and James quickly shook your heads. 

“Oh gods, no. It’s all in the attic.” You said, pointing at the ceiling above you. James and Remus left for the attic as you and Sirius chased after Regulus. Regulus took his tea from the dining room to the living room, setting it on the coffee table. You and Sirius stared at him as he settled onto the couch. Regulus propped his cane against the side table, taking a sip from his tea. Regulus lifted an eyebrow at the floor. He leaned over and held your book up. 

“Thought I taught you better than to throw books,” Regulus said, setting the book on the coffee table. You crossed your arms over your chest. You scoffed. 

“I was a little more focused on my undead lover walking into my garden.” You said. Regulus shrugged and gently set the book down on the coffee table. Regulus kicked his foot up, resting his ankle on his knee. James and Remus joined you with all three boxes. They were all labeled with a different form of his name, three different handwritings. Evan wrote R.A.B. in his swirly handwriting. Sirius had written Regulus in his pristine handwriting. You scribbled down Reggie on the top with an almost empty Sharpie. It looked like you didn’t care but you couldn’t bear to look at the boxes any more than you had to. 

Regulus leaned forward, tearing open the nearest box. He started rummaging through it and you wished Evan was here. You couldn’t fold things as perfectly as he could. Regulus pulled out his favorite stuffed animal, setting it on the couch next to him. He closed the box, reaching for the next one. He tore it open just as fast. He pulled out his favorite blanket and book. Regulus threw the blanket next to his stuffed animal. He set the book on the coffee table and as you watched him close up the box again, you sucked in a shaky breath. Regulus lifted his head, looking at you. You turned into James’ arms. James tightened his hold. You hated to get James’ shirt dirty but watching Regulue tear through the boxes you were sure you’d never touch again made your throat close up. 

“Sorry did I do something?” You heard Rehgulus’ voice behind you. James’ hand ran up and down your back. You felt SIrius’ hand land on your shoulder. 

“No, we’re just processing, I think. Lots of changes today.” James said, rocking you back and forth. Sirius took on the role of changing the subject so you still had a little bit of dignity. 

“We need to call the others. I mean this is a big change we’ll have to get every-“ Regulus cut off Sirius. 

“Listen, I know okay. I know, but I haven’t felt at home in over a year. I just want to spend today here. Tomorrow I will tell everyone of my resurrection but right now I just want a nap. You and Remus can stay if you want, I really don’t care. As long as I get a nap on the couch, I’m okay. I will gather everyone tomorrow but today is just..” Regulus sighed, a visible weight lifting from his shoulders. “Just for me. Is that okay?” Regulus asked. Sirius stayed silent a moment. He glanced around the living room. He shrugged, looking back at Regulus. 

“Yeah, that’s okay.” Regulus slipped his shoes off, setting them next to his cane, and laid across the couch. You pulled back from James, wiping at your eyes. You headed off for the bedroom, tearing open the closet. You pulled down Regulus’ pillow and brought it back to the living room. Regulus gave you a soft smile and gently took the pillow from your hands. He set it down before quickly sandwiching your hands between his. He was warm, not cold like a dead body. Maybe he was real. Regulus stared up at you. 

“I learned how to cook traditional French dishes,” Remus said, picking at one of the boxes. Regulus hummed. He was on the brink of sleep but still wanted Remus to feel heard. “You should come over for dinner some night.” Regulus nodded against his pillow. Remus left after SIrius and not long after you heard SIrius’ motorcycle fade away. You imagined Remus’ long legs cramped behind Sirius on the back of his bike and snorted. 

“I love you, you know that? Every day I wasn’t here I worried for you. I missed you so much I’d feel sick. I’m sorry I left like that.” Regulus said. Your eyebrows pinched and you sank your teeth into your bottom lip, trying your hardest to not cry again. You nodded. Regulus hummed and pressed your palm to his lips. You sighed and rubbed his cheek lightly. He dropped your hands and laid back on the couch, now with his pillow propped behind his head.

Regulus turned onto his side, clutching his stuffed animal to his chest. He pulled his blanket up to his nose. Sirius stood next to Regulus, brushing hair out of his face and gently rubbing his cheek before roughly smacking him and messing up his hair again. Regulus groaned and swatted his hands away. Sirius pulled back and slipped out the front door. 

“Mon Soleil?” Regulus whispered into his blanket. You glanced at James, watching his water line fill. 

“छोटा राजा?”  James whispered, his voice fragile. You looked back to Regulus. His eyes were still closed. 

When James heard Regulus’ snores next to his ear he slid the bookmark into their place and set it on the coffee table. James leaned his head back, resting it on the couch armrest. You sighed, watching Regulus sleep peacefully. 

“Read to me?” Regulus asked. James nodded and grabbed the book Regulus pulled from the box off the coffee table. James sat on the floor next to where Regulus head was on the couch. He opened the book to the page they left off last time, and you felt like James might cry. He started reading and as he went on you started to wish Regulus had given you a task too. You were just standing there watching them. You quietly joined James on the floor. You sat a foot and a half away from James. He paused his sentence for a second to look up at you and give you a soft smile. You returned it and slipped a hand under Regulus’ blanket. It probably smelled like the attic but Regulus didn’t seem to care, snoozing away. You rested your hand on his hip, lightly rubbing it before getting your hand to sit. You wished to hold his hand but one was clutching his stuffed animal and the other was pressing his blanket to his face. 

“I don’t think we’ll be getting much sleep tonight.” You whispered, not wanting to wake up Regulus. James turned his head to face you. He reached over and held onto your other hand, kissing the back. He nodded and looked over towards the wall. 

“I feel like we shouldn’t go to sleep because when we wake up, the boxes will be back in the attic. Sirius will be back on the couch and we’ll be sitting on the bed sobbing together.”James whispered. You humed. You slipped your thumb under the edge of Regulus’ shirt, pressing your finger into his warm skin. 

“He won’t be warm anymore.” You muttered, eyes still caught on Regulus. James’ thumb rubbed against the back of your hand. You wondered if he was testing to see if you were warm still. 

“We’ll visit his grave on Wednesday together and wonder if those wild animals were well fed. If it was all worth it. Stare down at the dirt and know six feet under is an empty wooden box with nothing but a copy of Regulus’ favorite poetry book inside.” James’ voice wobbled and you gripped his hand tighter. 

“I thought every day that I would wake up and it’d all be a nightmare. I was just dreaming. All those crime shows got to me and my brain inserted me into an episode while I was sleeping. Every morning I’d wake up to find out we were still planning his funeral. I thought I was dead for a while. Thought this was my punishment for not recycling enough or something.” You said, pressing your thumb further into Regulus’ skin. Not to hurt him, but you needed to feel his pulse. 

“I can’t go back there,” James whispered. 

“Then maybe we go to sleep tonight. Maybe we’ll wake up and he’ll be in bed with us.” You said giving the side of James' face a sour smile. 

“Then we start again. We heal again.” James gave you a sad look and stared ahead again. You decided to lighten the mood a little. “And we had a freaky joint dream.” James snorted. He sniffed and stared down at his lap. He kissed the back of your hand again. You focused on Regulus’ skin under your finger. Still warm. 

“And if we wake up to find ourselves right back where we started? What then?” James asked, turning his head to face you. You paused for a moment and let his words stir in your head. You thought about getting thrown right back into that dark and messy place.

You didn’t take showers unless Mary forced you and you hated yourself for everything you did. Why didn’t you stop Regulus and tell him to stay home that day? Why didn’t you drive him to work yourself? Why didn’t you deviate from your routine, anything to save Regulus’ life? And when you got over what ifs that could’ve stopped this all from happening, then you hated yourself for not helping James more. Why couldn’t you take care of him? His parents called every day and he could barely pull himself out of bed to answer the phone. You couldn’t look away from the floor to pick the phone up. You picked apart yourself with sharp nails and then let your pieces rot into something awful that barely resembled yourself anymore. All in the name of grief. 

“So sorry to break up such a sweet moment, however I am trying to sleep. So if you two could shut up: that’d be preferable. “ You heard Regulus say. James turned his head back, glancing at Regulus. He looked back at you. 

“Seems pretty real to me.” You whispered. 

Regulus stayed true to his word, calling every one of your friends to your home. When he joined them in the living room there were screams and cries and most definitely noise complaints from the neighbors. Barty fell to his knees, taking Regulus down with him, and sobbed into his hair. He was an ugly crier too, saliva connecting his two lips when he opened his mouth in a silent cry.

Dorcas and Evan were quick to join them on the floor, wrapping Regulus up in a sea of arms. Probably the first body of water he felt comfortable in a while.

Eventually, Regulus made it to his feet, giving everyone their own hug. Peter told him he had books he found that Regulus would enjoy. Mary smacked him on the back of the head and told him to brighten the fuck up before dragging him into a tight hug. Lily told him she had a new bread recipe she’d been meaning to try. Marlene cracked a stupid joke through her tears and lightly punched Regulus in the arm. Regulus made it to Pandora and she pulled him to her chest, squeezing him as tight as she could. 

“I didn’t see this.” She whispered in his hair. Regulus gripped her back just as tight.

You all had a warm dinner made by Remus and Lily. Regulus and Sirius share a nostalgic look after the first bite. You didn’t have a big enough table so you all crowded into the living room, gathering around the rug. Regulus earned a spot on the couch. Barty was at his feet, arms wrapped around Regulus’ leg.

James shot up halfway through dinner, dashing across the house. He came back with his camera. He took one shot of everyone in the living room before turning the camera around and squeezing himself into frame too. He labeled them both ‘Regulus’ first family dinner back’ on the backs. He added the date and set the camera and photos on the kitchen counter deciding to deal with them later.

On his way back into the living room, he kissed you before pecking Regulus on the cheek. As he settled back into his seat on the floor, the group broke into ruckus laughter from a joke Sirius made. Sirius beamed and your and James’ eyes shot for Regulus. You found him snorting out his tea through his nose. His pain, disgust, and laughter all conjoined and you knew when you woke up tomorrow, he’d once again be in your bed. Warm.