ecstarry

[ecstarry]

i still don’t know how to properly explaing what i feel personally about this space right now

i know i feel guilty

and i know i feel so fucking seen here, that this fandom feels like a house, my house, that i get to come to and be me and it holds all of my emotions and people i love

what i’m trying to figure out right now is how to stop feeling like im saying ���well it makes me feel better so i will continue to contribute”

idk how to stop feeling that way right now. because i don’t know what else to do with my feelings, idk how else to write, this is a corner in the world where im me.

where im not a girl, and i feel just like me, and i get to explore my gender identity in a way i never had to opportunity to do before, where im the queerest fucking version of me and i need that so bad but i feel so fucking guilty

so i don’t know. right now i dont know.

if u support her in any way (including financially with anything that traces back to her) just fuck off i dont want you in my blog or reading my shit. this is not a new stand, i’ve said this before but i want to repeat. if anyone that follows me continues to engage with anything that gives her more revenue and power fuck off

[ecstarry]

Gay sex as a metaphor for friendship

[ecstarry]

images via pinterest

they want all the green, not a house but a home, walls and windows that have lived just as much as they have, with echoes of laughter that inhabit the cracks of the wood, rugs with stains from late nights and early mornings

old domestic reg and james. just both of them retired, sitting in the kitchen they dreamed of together when they were in their 20s, looking through their french doors into a backyard with an uneven landscape because their children and then their grandchildren played so much in it. a dog and a cat as old as them sitting next to them, some quiet music playing and just them happy so so happy with art all over their home, some pieces that regulus painted and didn’t want to hang but james insisted on doing so. the hardwood floors have scratches now and james smiles because he can remember how every single one was made

[ecstarry]

happy friendship anniversary !!

OUR CAKE !!!!! tres leches for the win always

[ecstarry]

unwrapping my present (me taking off your pants)

[ecstarry]

lost all my wips this is ur sign to backup everything right fucking now so u aren't crying about ur fics as i am rn

[ecstarry]

also something i will say but obviously i am one voice here and i am one person and you do not need to take anything i say into consideration if you do not want to but,,, wait with your initiatives in this space.

i know i'm a massive hypocrite, i am in this space. i write for this space. i've also lost many trans friends for being in this space.

and i get the sentiments, i get that these come from a good place. but right now, Harry Potter fandom initiatives aren't what we need.

we don't need a fundraiser where people pay for a prompt and the money is donated - share the donation link on your fandom accounts and pray that, if this fandom is as inclusive and supportive as it claims to be, people will donate anyway.

i'm one person you do NOT have to listen to me, but there is a Pit in my Stomach at the idea of trying to combat this ruling by producing more art for this space.

what we need right now is discussions about reach. what we need right now is discussions about tiktok. what we need right now are big, heavy, uncomfortable discussions about what we are doing within this space, if we are going to keep doing it, and what we need to do to reduce further harm if we decide to stay.

the wounds from this ruling and so raw and even as someone in this space, seeing initiatives designed to help raise money for trans charities being rooted in the creation of fics and art? something that gives her even more traction? salt salt salt.

and i cannot imagine how heartbreaking it would feel to be a trans person NOT in this space and see that this is how people decided to combat it.

people are allowed to hate us for being here. we can't argue against the fact we keep her relevant or give her traction. we can do the best we possibly can, but people can still hate us for being here. they are completely within their right to. and trans people outside of this space? they will not feel supported by this. not at all. heck, even i don't.

i just,,, again. one person's opinion. but,, share donation links absolutely! but right now my efforts are entirely focused on formulating and eventually having discussion about what we do from here on out, and not on the creation of a wide-spreading initiative in which people need to receive Harry Potter art to donate.

donate anyway:

switchboard donation

amnesty international donation

trevor project donation

gendered intelligence donation

all out donation

[ecstarry]

Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Leonard Woolf, featured in The Selected Letters of Virginia Woolf

[ecstarry]

Lidia Yuknavitch, from Reading the Waves: A Memoir published in 2025

[ecstarry]

inside david sayles osborn and charles wood's nevada county loft, 1970s.

[ecstarry]

old domestic reg and james. just both of them retired, sitting in the kitchen they dreamed of together when they were in their 20s, looking through their french doors into a backyard with an uneven landscape because their children and then their grandchildren played so much in it. a dog and a cat as old as them sitting next to them, some quiet music playing and just them happy so so happy with art all over their home, some pieces that regulus painted and didn’t want to hang but james insisted on doing so. the hardwood floors have scratches now and james smiles because he can remember how every single one was made

[ecstarry]

[ecstarry]

[ecstarry]

I'm trans and your blog + orchideousnox + ecstarry + marsabillions are the reason I've stayed in the fandom,, you all make it feel so safe and it gives me hope. You're all loved n appreciated ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I never got around to replying to this but just know it meant the world to me when I got it and that it still does!

Even if I don’t always feel safe and appreciated in this fandom I’m really glad that I’ve been part of what made others feel that way. You are just as loved and appreciated < 3 < 3

@orchideous-nox @ecstarry

[ecstarry]

crashing out to tomshiv edits

[ecstarry]

[ecstarry]

Virginia Woolf, in a diary entry dated 1 July 1918, from The Diary of Virginia Woolf, Vol.I: 1915-1919