#do this if u want if u dont its chill
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Why the FUCK didn't Sasha apologize to Quinni.
#no im so pissed about that.#dude you don't give an autistic person a meltdown that big over something that hurtful#and just#walk away scot free#last time someone gave me a meltdown that hardcore I cut them off for a month.#that might just be the bpd tho#but still#quinni doesn't seem like the type to just. be chill without an apology and hearing sasha explain herself#and then she makes her her vice??????????#she already acknowledged sasha is only in it for the power trip#sasha didn't even do anything in the investigation she just followed quinni around#which as she should#but she hasn't made up for how she treated quinni AT ALL#in fact she's just gotten MORE of a performative activist#like why the fuck was she such a bitch to missy abt spider#i get it yea. ur friends sometimes have dogshit taste in men but you don't need to make them feel like trash abt it#and the way she was like 'he fetishizes u for being black omg its probably asian girls next omg i dont feel safe'#THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU????????.#also she 100% jumpstarted quinnis identity crisis#with how she was constantly switching between infantilizing her and undermining her autonomy over her own decisions#and treating doing things quinni wanted to do and the specific way she needed to do them as a chore#and then victimizing herself!!!!!!!#like from experience that relationship dynamic IS abusive to autistic people it just is#idk if nt people get it but it's really fucking awful to come from your partner#anyway. until sasha apologizes to both quinni and missy this will continue to be a sasha hate page.#heartbreak high#heartbreak high season 2#quinni gallagher jones#sasha so#missy beckett
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[ OOC: hi folks :] wanted to swing by with a post abt blogs and such
i kinda struggle to manage lore that. happens outside of my blog thru multiple sources due to the fact my inbox tends to stay Busy™️.
in regards to people wanting to join in with canon blogs, i want to be polite when i say that it's .. gunna stress me out further. :(
nobody's fault, i am kinda picky w my lore (despite being about 85% accurate i Guess) and naturally bad at managing external sources and blogs, and having more other blogs popping up tends to make me worry about discrepancies with details and external plots and developments that i haven't "approved" of myself. it's why i keep to my own blog often as well </3 makes it a hell of a lot easier to manage things
from this point forward, i'm gunna have to (sadly) shut the door on people making More canon blogs for my blog— you can still send in cool anons, ofc :3 thats far easier !!! the actual dsmp failed to communicate and i do Nawt want that happening here (even on a far smaller scale LMAO)
i'm swamped with tryna write q as best as possible yet currently a bit too busy worrying to Actually write. so unless ive really set up stuff w you, i'll probably stick to my own anons / already set up blogs 2 interact with and such for the most part. big big sorry!! (feel free 2 ask for clarification on this btw)
i cherish u all bunches and i apologise if i come across mean or controlling, i just want rp to remain fun for my silly little brain. for the current ppl who have blogs as canon to my blog (still adjusting to that LOL) i also cherish u. thank u for being inspired !!! GRGRHRHRH CHEWIJG U ALL /POS ]
#ooc: the prophet talks#ask blog#to be completely transparent i can be a control freak Hhi i wanna apologise#bc. it sucks but i also dont want this to spiral out of my control into something bigger#and i am enjoying it !!!! but its also making me. uh. Pretty stressed at the idea of ppl biting off more than. i can chew or handle#if that makes sense so i'm gunna stick to writing here. this blog is already full steam ahead and i love anons#rather than sitting and worrying that a blog might set smthn up with someone else and its far from how my blog lore exists#TO CLARIFY. im not mad and i apologise if i am at all coming across dickish. i am just a Little stressed and strung out (busy yesterday)#(overthinking) etc#i do love u hoax and tubbo and tommy and ddd whoever else is out there.#on that note if yall see this i'll still. like. interact + you can int with me!#i suggest the latter LMAO but uhhmhmmhmgm i love u folks pls dont take this the wrong way#AHYWAY. BYE. i think i need to go and Chill out for a few hours /silly#let it be said i feel like a prick. but i also know that me getting stressed is nawt good and i wanna ensure this blog#remains a groovy and relatively easy experience :3
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i have to say its a strange experience taking classes on branding and marketing while being vehemently anticapitalist and scorning the economic system
#i shit you not ill be in class and theyre talking abt how to make brands memorable and use words to describe their tone and feel#and at the same time i see starbucks endorsing genocide and greedflation and AI techbros scheming us into extinction#its extremely fucking dystopian. and its even worse when u have teachers telling u to use chatGPT and midjourney for#placeholder text and images. like damn. this is really the industry im going into huh#i feel complicit doing this because i want to pursue graphic design but its chilling to see ppl get really worked up abt branding#do u not feel used?? doesnt it feel like youre giving a faceless entity a mask to gloss over the ugly parts?? cuz i do#i get excited at the design and UX aspect of things like how people think and how design and user interfaces are planned around how#we think and act. but when the endgoal becomes marketing or doing it for companies it just feels like a waste#like i think this is what bill watterson meant when he didnt want calvin and hobbes to be commercialized#i dont want to do anything else unless it comes to that like i change my career path somewhere down the line. but fuck dude#im just gonna keep using unsplash and lorem ipsum as much as i can because i sure as hell dont wanna add to the problem if i cant solve it#yapping#vent
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sometimes i forget that i live in a world where most people see ads everywhere and im the weird one in this little island of using 10000 adblocks and i get really sad for all those people
#i literally couldnt go back if i wanted to#you dont understand i have So Many adblockers its crazy#off the top of my head i could tell you like 4 that i have on my computer but im sure there are more#on my phone i think i only have 2 or 3??#idk lol its crazy that everyone just lives with ads all the time and im here chilling not having seen a single ad on my computer for 2 year#and on my phone its been a few months i think#and people are like oh its not that bad why would i want an adblock?#and im like ???? why wouldnt you want one#many many sites make you pay for ad free suggesting that this is something most peoplewant#i am offering to tell you how to do it for free forever and youre telling me you dont want to?#a lot of people are just so scared to do anything to their computers they dont even know that there are options#a while ago i finally convinced my uni friends to get ublock origin and they were like here u have my computer and i was like ??#you just need to add an extension to chrome ?? and they didnt know how to do that😭😭😭#*judges from my 239742 addons*#like yeah i get it maybe having so many is unnecessary or whatever but having at least 1 adblock to get some control back is necessary#but whatever lol#mine#random
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i fear the 'surely someone's gonna save me' in sunshine baby has an incredible chokehold on me
#this Can't be the energy going into 2025 sighs#sabs speaks#lowkey had like four different meltdowns today over plans being changed and its like. can we be normal#and then my brain had the audacity to be like ur lying.#like girl what the fuck?? in what world are we doing this for fun#and then do u guys know the horror story of like vampire slumbering just have my headphones on genuinely vampire like and out of NOWHERE my#sister is just above me like Hi.#can u fix this dress for me#like in what world do u wake me up like that girl#i fixed the dress but still like. let me live#times like these im considering dropping out truly having that moment over u need to chill out before the stress kills you before the thing#that's supposed to has a chance#if this all seems disconjointed its because it is and is not hope this helps <3#i also want nothing more than to write about my blorbos but i saw people being wrong about them and now im like shit. maybe im wrong about#them#so i cant do it without feeling insane for that reason and for the second reason that i have other obligations#i think it should be illegal for education to give u things to do over the holidays they dont understand how much guilt i will feel not#getting things done and instead feeling horrific and not resting#i also think learning too much about my health has caused me to spiral a lot like the dr's being so chill about it whilst im in debilitatin#pain is not good for me actually. and has triggered the disability grief all over again#having my pmdd and my menstruation at the same time genuinely i felt like female hysteria and im scared for the next one#its a wonder i did Not do It#a little morbid i guess but i have Morbid hormone disorder shrugs#anyways. 2025 be better i hope#so scared to pull my cards for the year#less actually scared and more like. i dont knowww how much i have it in me to be brave anymore#congrats if u made it this far but mostly sorry to my scorpio rising
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we learned that trying to go to college was pretty much a dead end for us when we realized that most lectures made us fall asleep and we only liked the lab and practical lessons. and we did very well on the lab lessons! we were the only ones in several lab classes to be able to make the best sample for the microscope and a lot of other stuff. our chemistry lab classes were a pain tho cause we were paired up with this nice girl and a girl that DID NOT like us and avoided letting us do stuff and berated us once cause we stood too close to a thing we were trying to see even tho we told her and the other girl even with the glasses we had at the time our eyesight is very poor and will need to stand very close to the sample we were studying to see it properly so it was better we took turn watching it. and then she blamed us for screwing stuff up even tho most of the time she didnt let us touch anything anyway. even when we made the forbidden coffee even tho she was the one doing the dry ingredient weighting and micromanaged us pouring the liquids and then left and she got mad when the experience ended up bad. girlie u made us do it by ur maths! we wanted to asked the lab teacher to come and correct it but u said no and oops ur math was wrong even tho us and the other girl did the mixing and set up 100% correct this is ur fault for sucking!
#canções do rei#we were thinking about this shit again#cause bio lab was so nice and chill and we did so well#and we did well in chem lab when this girl wasnt there for 2/3 of a lesson#but she ruined chem lab lessons for us cause apparently its easier to scapegoat the one that look things over a ton of times to make sure#its going well and its all correct and double checks when the teacher when they see something looks weird than admit that maybe MAYBE#u just did a ton of shit wrong cause u got ur head up ur ass and cant admit ur stupid fucking mistakes that are stupid#the other girl was just there like ill just go along with this chick cause i dont want to be mistreated either#and she was super nice and way more outgoing when the other girl wasnt around#its a pity that they were apparently friends from high school and the mean girl had her dirty mits on that girl...#we hope she gets better friends someday
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Romance manga with a fat mc/love interest: :D
They were only fat because of trauma and now that theyre in a relationship theyre skinny: :(
#STOP DOING THIS LET THEM BE FAT FOR FATS SAKE FAKE PEOPLE DESERVE LOVE ITS NOT A BARRIER TO OVERCOME#KILLING KILLING KILLING#Genetically fat people deserve love fat people who got fat from trauma and STAY fat deserve love#Of course this narrative wouldnt be a problem if it wasnt literally every single one#Even if its not this specific narrative its usually still about fatness and how that hinders a relationship#Why cant someone be fat and it be uninportant to the story#For some positivity im gonna highlight some of my fave fat romance mangas#Minegishi loves otsu#Its always minegishi loves otsu go read it now it does pretty much everything right fat boy wise and otsu is insecure about his weight#But its not like bad insecure its regular insecure like its not a conflict#Confessions of a shy baker#The only influence one of the characters weight has on the story is his boyfriend is baking him healthy treats cuz hes trying to lose weigh#Which on its face i dont think is a bad thing and its not what the story is about its just a facet of their relationship#Its pretty funny and chill also like...if u wanna make healthy treats theres a bunch of actual recipes in it#Mori no takuma#Okay this one is weird and technically does everything wrong to a comical degree and thats why i like it#Also takuma stays fat even after the ending plus for him#It does have the weird 'he gets skinny when its nervous' and it is literally about the girl not wanting to date a fat guy but whatever#You may notice that......all of these are where a man is fat and yeah#I would list one if i had one#For context im a fat lesbian#Attracted to fat women#Anyway if yall have fat romance manga suggestions lemme know id love to read them#animanga#anime#manga#anime and manga
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i don't have it in my rules but like,,, i dont have bc i think its common sense,,, pls dont god mod my muses, dont say they invited ur muse somewhere or they made ur muse do something or they forced ur muse into doing something. specially not without checking with me first. like its one thing for in our thread we both say they are going to a place or eating a food or doing an activity and u write them Getting there or Finishing or Starting next activity. its a whole nother thing for you to say my muse led urs somewhere or my muse decided to end it early or my muse forced urs into without checking with me first. like its my muse ,, u dont ,, u dont know if they would. maybe next they would drop to the floor and break dance. u dont know. if u wanna write that into the reply just send me a quick message saying 'hey would santi/frank/james/whoever do x?' or 'can i move the thread to x place' like its that simple.
#ooc#negativity tw#rant tw#shut up manu#ask for permission dont ask for forgiveness#im overall a very chill person but someone just saying and then santi did THIS mid thread will make me super uncomfortable#there is like 3 people who know my muses well enough to know what they would do without asking me and even THEM they dont know all my muses#so like just ask its fine. its free. and it will let me know ur a chill person who respects my writing#starters are slightly different in the sentence that like u can start a starter anywhere and as long as its open ill role with it.#be it breaking into a bank or teaching poetry to kids i will have someone that fits into it.#but if u want specific people doing specific things its better to check like#frank would never hit ur muse or important npcsever ever ever no matter what they did maybe possibly in a boxing match even then it deppend#so if u want frank hitting people we would have to plot it out and stuff idk
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Me: ok im gonna keep this story world mostly self indulgent and for practice, its my funny little playground to have funsies
Also me, to myself: what do you mean this character doesnt has a professional standard design quality this is unacceptable commit death
#me rambles#thinking abt how Sethi's post canondesign might be too complicated or not suit his character arc and its like#bestie. literally the reason ur so obsessed w that oc is bc he is an unholy mix of all the stuff u like. that redesign is originally by-#ur friend/dm who wasnt vibing w his og long hair. like. you can do whatever you want you dont even want to be a professional artist. chill
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the dream would be a 15hour week workday at a low stress job not that far from home but not too close it feels intimate to your home, a small mangable appartment that wont fall apartwith furnishings i like,bills that arnt stress inducing in a way that make me think about money all the time, and just chill and do my hobbies when im not doing all the other things people have to do in their adult to not be that sad life like cook and clean and talk to people
#would be cool to publish and stuff#but again dont want to turn my hobbies into somthing more stress inducing then perfecting my craft already does#cant belive the dream is the bere minimum#25 hours a week max#but still its really just the bere minimum#oh to live the bere minimum#life always finds a way to make things difficult#and it would be cool to be able to get rid of some of the more consistent stuff like money stress and work stress#so when there are more difficult things to worry about its not pilled up on the stuff thats day to day#i know some people like having alot to do but that is not me#but yeah feel free to make this your dream too i think its ok to just want to exist stress free enough to properly enjoy the mundane#cuz the mundane is pretty neat#and everyone acts like its this terrible thing but it happens everyday#the sun sets the sun rises but i still get excited when i get a good view#want to enjoy that without worrying about everything i have to work for to become successful#i think we are alowed to not want to work for things we dont care about that much just for the bere minimum of existence#would be totally diffrent if it got u up there but#it doesnt?#but im totally chill if giving like 25%-50% gave me just enough#not saying that would be how much i care just now much energy i give#and honestly alot of work can come out of that much energy#giving your 100% is stupid and uderrated and your 100% will become worse and worse#ofc still fine to do it but all the time is crazy people still gotta use some of that energy to live life outside of the hustle#offical hustle hate post
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Genuinely. The idea of needing someone who is so much stronger than you, who is irreplacable, who could leave at a moment and there's nothing you could do and you would all be fucked- and this person has no regard for you, actively resents you, finds you a nuisance at best and at worst actively dislikes you is the stuff of a great psychological horror. Having to mold yourself around this person who is a walking army, a ticking bomb who you know thinks you're useless and demanding and just dead weight- and you look up to them. They have to be right. They're the hero, aren't they?
#anyways. i have trouble reading xiv fanfic#its not even usually explicit? just like. reading between the lines#how they frame things. how they change events and then do not change outcomes#if you narrow in on that perspective its genuinely chilling#anywayd i am the alphinaud defense squad please remember he's 16. please.#im ali defense squad too but usually when people get her wrong its just flanderization#u dont usually see people getting Super Wierd about her the way u do alphinaud#(characterization and story context wise. we are not talking about waifu shit)#i just. look arr alphinaud sucks but please. he's 16. every 16 year old sucks you don't need to like.#make sure to dress him down.#like its funny bc to a certain extent thats aggi and alphinaud's relationship early heavensward#she is SUPER mad at him and treats him really bad#but like a) she's also 16. shes way stronger than him yeah but shes not an adult#and b)she. eventually apologizes. they have ups and downs and it takes a while b4 aggi fully trusts alphinaud's judgement in certain matters#but like. she recognizes that he was in a really bad place and she was making it worse of purpose bc he was there#and ilberd and lolorito and everyone else she wanted to get back at weren't
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i just remembered this blog existed… after like 3 months… haiii :3
#i was talking to one of my irls abt childhood memories and nostalgia and aphmau came up and when i tell u we went INSANE over mcd/mystreet#it made me remember that THIS BLOG EXISTS AND I CAN PARTAKE IN THE FANDOM WITHOUT FEELING CRINGE#bc everyone here knows how bad the writing and everything is so its rlly cool and chill here#i just need that tbh.. a place where everyones working with the same thing but has such different views of it is so cool to me#ANYWAYS SOOO coming back for pride month!!! maybe. who knows#it would be funny if i did bc of my username#i was watching mcd last night (currently on ep 35 as of me writing this) and my GOD i need to rework travis’ character so bad#hes silly and i like him but he clashes way too much with laurance#sooo maybe expect that????? idk. i dont wanna make any promises but 👀#okay ill shut up now#NO WAIT I WONT i kinda wanna redesign EVERYONE and i KNOW thats a big commitment but I WANT TO SO BAD#im supposed to be getting ready for art fight but my GODDD redesigning already established characters seems so much more fun than#redesigning my own ocs. actually they might aswell be my ocs if i do DJSJSKAK anyways NOW ill shut up#ashe.txt
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These are his cacao beans
#;c.amazotz#;ic#cacao had a huge importance in maya culture just like maize it was even refered to as the food of the gods!#(*the gods discovered cacao beans which is why it is called food of the gods)#/i think that having him be the main character in a valentine's event would be funny and interesting if they included his perception on#chocolate#cacao beans were also used as a form of currency and they even tried to counterfeit them by doing fake clay cacao beans!#they were also demanded as tribute (or tax); & were used on special occassions like marriage or the birth of a child#they also have associations with the gods like the ties they have with the god of maize in popol vuh#bc it was a food of the gods; it meant that it was something of high purity & high quality#which i assume is also why it was used in important ceremonies like marriage and the such#anyways there is a looooot more history behind it#so i think it would be fitting if he were around#MAYBE if ur insistent enough- then MAYBE he can share a bit with u- but dont tell others bc he is not giving them away so easily#my c.amazotz is like;; he might be chilling around but if u express u want something that he owns; then suddenly he grows more interested#and now its like;; 'you know what? maybe i want to keep this now'#<-was not really paying attention to it before#u'll have to give him something in exchange for those now
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i start that new job tomorrow 😶 ...
#... im not sure if itll be a full day or just 'more paperwork/general tour/training' tho kinda hopin for maybe like a half day TwT;;#im very nervous and considering taking one of the old anxiety meds i still have#from when i was in therapy. except idk if theyre still in date + they made me feel like a zombie which is why i stopped taking them lol#like i was SO out of it on them. but would that be preferable 2 the feeling of Soon Entering Cardiac Arrest levels of anxiety im having rn?#maybe...#+ going to take a sleeping pill around 10 to make sure i dont stay up all night freaking myself out#jkdkjfhjjk can my brain be normal about this. i havent even started the job yet calm down!!! calm down!!! its ok!!!!#i just feel so bad bc everyone has been rly nice. like 'omg yay u found a chill job w insurance RIGHT before u get kicked off urs thats#great ik youll do well!!' and its like well what if i DONT do well what if i freak out again. and self sabotage. then what. like i KNOW#its bad and i KNOW what i SHOULD be doing but its like herding geese over here in my brain zone. painful and bad and i dont understand why#things happen at all its confusing and frustrating to deal with#logically i know i need a job. i need to pay my debts and start saving and I WANT to move out! but its like that fine dining and breathing#scene from spongebob. brain on fire. lol#sanchoyorambles
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...
#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data#which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done#for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior#so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a#collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more#devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close#bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the#country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will#instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a#different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad#a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi#intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see#them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize#the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b#doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped#that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying#less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating#unrelated
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Do I have rampant untreated PTSD? Yes. But. But! I have a cozy nest full of baileys spiked hot cocoa and lots of blankets and a body pillow and a whole bookshelf so maybe that will convince my dumb brain I'm not actually gonna be hunted down and murdered under cover of a massive thunderstorm. Maybe.
#teddy talks#personal#to delete later#its cool its cool#nests/forts are like. essential ptsd treatment for sure#never gone to therapy for that particular issue but i gotta imagine question#number one has gotta be 'do u have a space u always feel safe in?' and my answer is yes i have a boozy book nook that i can turn into#a blanket fort at a moments notice and the therapist would be like 'dope my man thats like step one good job ur getting a good grade#in ptsd something thats both normal to want and possible to achieve'#only thing im missing is a phone charger tbh my phones at 3 whole %#but until it dies i also have sweet indigo girls tunes going so were good were good were chill#but yeah no dont mind me im just gonna cozy up here in. my comfortably claustrophobic boozy book nook tyvm#there is also. i should add. a rumbly cat here as well#which is scientifically proven to do Good Things to bad brains right? right
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